5 stars means, to me, that everybody should read it, not that it's necessarily a perfect book.
Everybody is fairly likely to have a stroke, watch someone who is having a stroke, know someone who is recovering from a stroke, or at least visit a rehabilitation clinic or nursing home. The recommendations at the end are important. First there's a page that reminds you what a stroke feels like, and tells you to get help immediately.* Then there's a list of advice on how to help someone who is in therapy to recover.
*Dr. Jill did not get help immediately, and by the time she realized she needed help, she was almost incapable of calling for same, which further delayed her treatment.
Ok, here's the thing. The narrative is only 177 pages, yet I put in 8 bookdarts. Let's see how many I have the energy to share with you. But first, let me tell you more about what's so valuable about this book. It's not just about strokes, or even just about general brain injuries.
For example, you know how there's a bunch of current pop psychology books about how train our brains and how to break bad habits and develop good habits? Dr. Jill, while talking about how she worked toward recovery, gives us a really good, really short, version of the content of those books. Another example: there's the 'insight' Dr. Jill experienced. It's a little bit spiritual, a tiny bit 'new-agey.' But it also makes sense to this atheist.
Ok, anyway, on to the bookdarts:
"I think it is vitally important that stroke survivors share and communicate about how each of their brains strategized recovery.... [O]ur medical professionals could be more effective during those initial hours of treatment and assessment. I wanted my doctors to focus on how my brain was working rather than on whether it worked according to their criteria or timetable. I still knew volumes of information and I was simply going to have to figure out how to access it again."
At home, Jill's mother, G.G., was an amazing therapist. Since much information was lost, G.G. worked to fill in the gaps.
"'For lunch, you can have minestrone soup [and I found the file in mind and remembered what that was] or a grilled cheese sandwich [found it] or tuna salad.' Since I could not find the file for tuna salad, that's what we chose for lunch. That was our strategy if I couldn't find the old file; we made it a point to make a new one."
G.G. also guided Jill by giving her toddlers' toys. A 12 piece jigsaw puzzle enabled two days of teachable moments. Jill learned 'face-up' and 'edge' and 'insies & outsies' but was still not making matches, until G.G. noted, "Jill, you can use color as a clue." "I could not see color until I was told that color was a tool I could use. Who would have guessed that my left hemisphere needed to be told about color for it to register? I found the same to be true for seeing in three dimensions."
... Point of clarification: do know that different stroke victims have different parts of their minds damaged. Most of Jill's book applies to any person who has experienced brain trauma, but some specific details will vary.
Jill wants us to know that doctors are *wrong* to say that "If you don't have your abilities back by six months,... you won't."
"I needed my visitors to bring me their positive energy.... I appreciated when people came in for just a few minutes, took my hands in theirs, and shared softly and slowly how they were doing, what they were thinking, and how they believed in my ability to recover... nervous, anxious, or angry people were counter-productive."
Here's advice to anyone who feels vulnerable to moods like fretfulness, resentment, or self-pity. "Although there are certain limbic (emotional) programs that can be triggered automatically, it takes less than 90 seconds for one of these programs to be triggered, surge through our body, and then be completely flushed out of our blood stream.... If I remain angry [for example] then it is because I have chosen to let that circuit continue to run. Moment by moment, I make the choice to either hook into my neurocircuitry or move back into the present moment, allowing that reaction to melt away as fleeting physiology."
To help her break that circuit, Dr. Jill says "I wait 90 seconds.. and then I speak to my brain as though it is a group of children. I say with sincerity, 'I appreciate you ability to think thoughts and feel emotions, but I am really not interested in thinking these thoughts or feeling these emotions anymore. Please stop bringing this stuff up."
"In extreme situations of cellular disregard, I use my authentic voice to put my language center's Peanut Gallery on a strict time schedule. I give my story-teller full permission to whine rampantly between 9-9:30... If it accidentally misses whine time it is not allowed to reengage in that behavior until its next allotted appointment.... I am serious about not hooking into those negative loops of thought."
Instead, she keeps a handy list of good things to think about: "1) I remember something fascinating that I would like to ponder more deeply, 2) I think about something that would bring me terrific joy, or 3) I think about something I would like to do."
Whew. Those are all the bookdarts. But I'm glad that I took the time to type them all up. So valuable. :)
Yes, I know this a long review of a short book. Still, Dr. Jill writes clearly and concisely - there's a lot of benefit to you to read the book yourself