Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland

McDonaldland Mythos #1

by Carlton Mellick III

Novel of the Year 2009, Wonderland Book Award Winner

Road Warrior Werewolves versus McDonaldland Mutants...post-apocalyptic fiction has never been quite like this.

They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland.

A century after the fall of civilization, only one city remains standing. It is a self-contained utopian society protected by a three-hundred-foot-high steel wall. The citizens of this city live safe, peaceful lives, completely ignorant to the savagery that takes place beyond the walls. They are content and happy, blindly following the rules of the fascist fast food corporation that acts as their government. But when Daniel Togg, a four-armed bootlegger from the dark side of town, is cast out of the walled city, he soon learns why the state of the outside world has been kept secret. The wasteland is a chaotic battleground filled with giant wolves, mutant men, and an army of furry biker women who are slowly transforming into animals. Trapped on the wrong side of a war zone, Daniel Togg makes new friends and new enemies, while uncovering the mysteries of the people living in the wasteland and how they came to be there.

Including 45 illustrations by the author, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is an epic bizarro tale of dehumanization, gender separation, consumption, and violent sexual awakenings. A fast-paced post-apocalyptic adventure in the vein of The Road Warrior , featuring a very unique werewolf mythology.

"Carlton Mellick III gets better with every book. Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is his best one yet."

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror, Werewolves, Fantasy, Dystopia, Fiction, Science Fiction

300 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Carlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.

Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.

Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.

He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.

In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.

In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.

Reviews

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a post-apocalyptic world, the McDonalds Corporation picked up the pieces and rebuild civilization in its own demented image. People live and work in a red and yellow city-state, eating McDonald's three meals a day. When Daniel Togg's two extra arms are discovered, he's cast out into the wastelands, where he is quickly captured by the wolf-women. Will Daniel ever be able to return to McDonaldland? And will he want to if he gets the chance?

Wow. If I wasn't already a fan of Carlton Mellick III before this book, I sure would be now. There are so many things I want to mention but I'm afraid of spoiling too much.

WWWW is a post-apocalyptic tale about a fascist city-state controlled by the McDonald's corp, although it's a lot more than that. It's a tale about conformity, male dominance, fear of female sexuality, corporate evil, lost love, and much, much more.

The world-building in WWWW is the best in any Bizarro book I've read so far. Living in McDonaldland seems horrible in a whimsical kind of way. Imagine living in a world where you have to work two shifts a day, eating only McDonalds, and everything is shades of red and yellow? Throw in Fry Guy policemen and it just gets worse. The world outside McDonaldland is pretty brutal but almost seems preferable to that kind of existence.

Due to generations of eating McDonald's three meals a day, mankind has undergone some changes. Women slowly change into wolves with each orgasm and men undergo mutations as well. The source of the mutations are eventually revealed once Daniel spends some time in the Wastelands.

The Wolves were interesting characters, particularly Pippi, Grandma, Nova, and Talon. The whole plotline of Daniel and Nova slowly getting back together was what sold the book for me. The big Mad Max style battles didn't hurt, either. The swapping of gender roles once Daniel is taken in by the wolves was another of my favorite aspects of the story.

What else should I mention? I guess I'll say that if you find the current incarnation of the Burger King to be super-creepy, you probably won't find Mayor McCheese or the Hamburglar to be very loveable after reading this.

I can't recommend Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland enough. It's not just a great Bizarro book, it's a great book. Period. It's also the most accessible of Carlton Mellick III's books I've read so far. If you're looking to give either Bizarro or CMIII a try, you could do a lot worse than this.

[Rubi · Rating 3 out of 5]

First book of 2016.
I can say that I love Bizarro fiction, so imaginative, so funny, so crazy and interesting.

I am being impressed by this writer, he is amazing! What to say about the ideas that he develops in this book? BRILLIANT.

In McDonaldland you can only eat the food from McDonalds, women can not have sex because they turn into wolfs and that is why there is a group of women/wolfs in the Wasteland (outside the city), because they are expelled. Besides, some men are becoming mutants (because of the food).

I must say that I have enjoyed more the description and the curiosities of McDonaldland than the plot.
I think that some things are too disgusting, for example: How some men are raped by the wolfs... Urgh! Or Nova being raped by her own father..

But... great and unexpected ending.

"She's a hairy, dirty, smelly, dog-faced, flea-ridden, sadistic, evil, self-centered, arrogant, demanding, annoying, immature, bossy, needy, murderous, cold-hearted, psychotic bitch..."

[Farrah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding, fun, mayhem filled book! I'm so glad there's a sequel :D Is McDonalds aware of this book? How does the author avoid getting sued??! Very cleverly written and I laughed outloud a few times.

[Seb · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was quite a ride 🙃 I don't really know how to classify "Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland". It feels like a Bizarro dystopia, whereas CM3 presumably wished to write a werewolves tale as he explains in the foreword.

"Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland" is a fun read but now that I'm done with it, I don't know what to tell about it in this review. I guess it won't leave a huge memory for me in the future...

I'm puzzled by my feelings about this right now 🤔

4 stars, I guess

[Steven · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uhhhhhhhhhh.......I'm totally not a furry! I swear!


Totally not thinking about tapping that.

So Carlton Mellick! And his weird books. Books about post-apocalyptica and McDonalds and werewolves and Mad Max style insanity! Fun!

Okay so it was probably around this time when I think Mellick's work hit a decent level of competence. The stuff before wasn't necessarily bad, but it was very rough around the edges. Warrior Wolf Women meanwhile was one of his first actual novels so it comes with all the bells and whistles one would expect with a more fleshed out narrative.

For starters, contrary to previous novellas Mellick is much more about showing and not telling in this story. His novellas usually struggle at times because he tends to opt for explaining the setting and worldbuilding but here he provides a much more fleshed out world. Some of it is still clunky, like having a section of an early chapter have Daniel explain how to make booze out of ketchup packets, but points for effort.

As for the characters, they're a mixed bag like you'd expect and like with any mixed bag, some of them are Twix Bars and others are razor-bladed apples. Daniel is perfectly functional as a protag, being a normal bloke - albeit with two extra pairs of arms - living in a world that is both run by McDonalds and yet somehow also is filled with werewolf biker babes. He feels more like an audience surrogate to ease the reader into the world at large, which for the most part works.


Well, can't say it's not accurate.

The rest of the cast are decently fleshed out with most of the furry cast easily defineable, albeit from a few traits rather than an entire psych profile. Pippi is pretty much a bitch from start to finish, Slayer hates men and sees them as slaves, Nova is the assertive waifu and Alyssa is a depiction of what happens when the werewolf condition goes all the way. From some characters we do get some character development, surprisingly from Daniel's brother Guy, a man with the manliest of moustaches who goes from being a model citizen to a someone sympathetic of the wolf women.

But make no mistake, you're here for the weirdness and the world of Warrior Wolf Women is bizarre, even by Bizarro standards and if uncomfortable forays into sex aren't your thing, then avoid this one like an STD. Considering that sex triggers the transformation, things like rape (from both sides) are explored and it's not comfortable in the slightest, albeit a little skewed towards sympathy for the women. The thing is, like with Bizarro typically, the violence and gruesomeness gets to a point a lot of the time where it stops feeling uncomfortable and more like a cheeseburger induced fever dream. This is a book where a werewolf women the size of a bus uses a bloke as a dildo. I'm not kidding. Mellick must've mined some forum boards for that type of fetish shit.

As for other weirdness, we have realistic mascots with heads made of actual meat and cheese....


This is Mayor McCheese. He would like to have a word with you.

Weird government experiments and body horror parasites that turn people into breeding factories. And the gore. Oh my god, it's like Mellick decided to paint the town red, pink, purple, with shades of brain, intestinal tract and stomach lining. If there was a book that will make you never want to touch a burger again, I think I found it.

Warrior Wolf Women is probably the point where I think Mellick truly came into his own as an author. By the standards of Bizarro fiction - which oftentimes feel a little mediocre - this is a solid outing that switches back and forth between rough subjects and gonzo absurdity at the drop of a hat. The story hits all the right notes, although it can feel like its spinning its wheels at times but comes to a suitably wild, gooey conclusion.

Recommended, assuming you go and find Jesus afterward for your burgeoning Furry fetish, you sick weirdo!


Imagine sticking your soft bits in that. No go get some help freak.

[Paul (Life In The Slow Lane) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to stick this sword into you, now would you like fries with that?

If you could actually attach a Weird-Shitometer to the front of your Kindle, then this book would put the needle way into the red zone. You have to remind yourself that this is a BIZARRO story, and crazy, unbelievable stuff is just normal. But this...this is just...soooo weird that you have to wonder how anyone could come up with a plot as strange as this one. Loosely based on the McDonald's corporation world of characters, CM3 somehow works a post-apocalyptic world war 3 (or 4 or 5 or whatever number it is by then) into the story. Amazing!

Sit back, read, and enjoy, and laugh out loud like I did.

And yes, I gave it 💥💥💥💥💥 because somewhere inside that deranged head of CM3, is a literary genius.

[Dutchess · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Everyone told me that there was no way Nova would survive out there. She has to be dead. But I know November. She's a survivor. If it is survival of the fittest out there, I bet she found a hole to hide in and then masturbated over and over again day and night until she transformed into the biggest, toughest wolf in the wasteland."

I promise that passage makes sense within the context of the story. Same with this one:

"I was on a date with some annoying, ugly girl my brother forced me to go out with. She was fat and conservative. She was always quoting passages from the McDonald's Bible."

It feels redundant to keep writing this in CM3 reviews, but the weak prose needs to be acknowledged, as it is a constant among his works published all throughout the 2000s and becomes hit or miss in the 2010s. No traditional publisher would pick up this book for that reason alone, not to mention the bizarre sex and rape scenes.

Overall, I still think the book is entertaining, but the middle third feels aimless and bloated.

Despite these problems, the story is unique, as is the case with most of CM3’s books. Even the books of his that I've disliked (Zombies and Shit) or the ones I feel indifferent to (Village of the Mermaids), they still feel unlike anything I've read. That's why I'll continue to read his work, and why I've yet to complete the bibliography for any other author—not counting, of course, the authors who only wrote one or two books and then died.

[Dustin Reade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mellick won the Wonderland award for this book, and for good reason. This ranks among Mellick's very best work in my opinion. It features fully-realized characters, over-the-top violence, an engaging storyline, and truly original villains and situations.
The basic idea is that McDonald's Corporation rules the world. Everyone is Morbidly Obese, and living this way for so long has had negative effects on the people of McDonaldLand. They mutate randomly, and the women have a big problem with sex. See, when they have sex, they mutate into Wolves. Not all at once, of course, but little by little.
This is not a spoiler, as you can get most of that from the blurb on the back.
This description, however, comes nowhere near explaining the joy and wonder that is this truly weird, wonderful book. So much fun to read I was sad when it was over. Mellick has a real talent for storytelling.
You have to read this book if you like any of the following things: happiness, interesting things, being alive, reading, breathing, McDonald's, Protesting McDonald's, evolution, or life in general.
I will spend the rest of my life looking for more books like this one, and I am sad at the knowledge that there simply ARE NO BOOKS LIKE THIS ONE.
Read it, read it, read it.

[Jeremy Maddux · Rating 4 out of 5]

The only reason I subtracted a star is because the main character, Daniel, is rather passive. A lot of things happen to him, but I can recall less than a handful of times he actually steered the plot in a different direction, or actually took action or made a decision. This minor gripe aside, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland has now become my favorite Troma movie (although you won't find it in their film catalogue).

It's about a barren landscape devoid of morals called McDonaldland. Men and women mutate due to the abundance of chemicals in the food, all of which is made by McDonald's. In men, the mutation presents itself in extra arms and legs. In women, it's more gradual as they become more wolf-like each time they have sex, until they are eventually exiled from McDonaldland into the wild to fend for themselves. The wolf women have formed their own community outside the gates of McDonaldland, one where they claim the male exiles for little more than food or sex in an astonishing reversal of gender roles.

Perhaps what's most frightening is the fact that McDonaldland reminded me of modern day America and its 'traditional values'.

[Donald Armfield · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pop culture, horror, action pasted together by the mind of Bizarro founder. Mellick does a wonderful trick with McDonald's everyones favorite quik meal. A world where woman change into wolves after to much under the covers with the husband. Where you can only eat McDonald's food any thing else is illegal. Want some laughs and action check this out!

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first Mellick book! Was quite enjoyable and entertaining. Looking forward to the next one.

[David Barbee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carlton Mellick has made his writing career as one of the pillars of the bizarro community. To some, he’s already a legend. But with his newest book, it’s easy to see that Mellick is still evolving as a storyteller. It seems he’s no longer content to put on a weird spectacle, so he’s pushing himself into new territories. Warrior Wolf Women is one of his longest books, and strangely enough, it’s not very genre-heavy. The post-apocalyptic “Road Warrior” theme isn’t so prevalent in Warrior Wolf Women. This isn’t a simple adventure of barbarism in a blighted future. In fact, almost half of the story takes place in McDonaldland, a mega-city walled off from the wastelands (similar to the world of Judge Dredd). The landscape of McDonaldland could’ve been its own book, but Mellick has different intentions for this story.

The main character, Daniel Togg, is exiled from the city to (presumably) die in the apocalyptic wild. Like I said earlier, what unfolds isn’t your typical post-apocalyptic story. Warrior Wolf Women becomes a tale of a fierce battle of the sexes. In this world, women slowly evolve into gigantic wolves while the men tend to sprout extra limbs. Both are considered freaks in civilized society, and are thrown out of the city and into the wild. In the wastelands, the Wolf Women enslave the men, and the men have rallied to defend themselves. The two factions are at war with one another, and Mellick uses this setting to tell a romance between Daniel Togg and his childhood friend, November. The two are separated by the weird gender roles society has thrust upon them. They are trapped in a cycle, as the women kill the men to survive, and vice versa.

Some characters manage to break out of the prescribed roles of this world. The characters of Krall and Slayer seem to have some sort of loving relationship, founded on the fact that they aren’t your typical man or woman. They’re society’s exceptions to the rules, the ones who fall through the cracks. Because of this, they manage to create a real relationship when everyone else seems totally trapped by society’s gender roles. And as Mellick peels back the layers of this social structure, we see just how weird and depraved this gender separation can be. When Daniel discovers the secret schemes of the war between male and female, it’s absolutely stomach-churning.

Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is a pretty good tale, and it might go down as one of Mellick’s most thoughtful bizarro books. It was exciting, strange, violent, and sexual, but don’t expect a simple action story in the vein of “Mad Max.” There are plenty of crazy battles, but these scenes only serve a greater theme in the story. Despite the grittiness, this story has a lot of heart. Besides the theme of abusive gender roles, I thought Warrior Wolf Women was similar to “The Island of Dr. Moreau,” a meditation on the animalism of humanity and the sort of atrocities we commit against one another. There’s a lot going on for this book, and strangely enough, I haven’t really spoiled anything for you. Make sure you read this one.

[Matthew Fryer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wonderfully titled book comes courtesy of Avant Punk, an imprint of the trusty bizarro kings, Eraserhead Press.

The tale begins in McDonaldland, a futuristic dystopia in which the fast food corporation has absolute power and bland conformity is king. We meet our hero, Daniel Togg, a bored machine operator who brews illegal alcohol and soon finds himself banished. Beyond the towering city walls, he finds a dangerous wasteland populated by female biker werewolves, genetic mutants and other renegade fringes of society.

As the story progresses, we discover that the city has terrible secrets regarding the origins and history of the wolf women. Daniel is captured by a heavily armed faction named Warriors of the Wild, not realising that his loyalties will soon be tested.


The post-apocalyptic wasteland has been rightly compared to The Road Warrior. There’s modified vehicles, plenty of weapons action, explosions, tribal atrocity and gruesome deaths. We come to meet many of the individual wolf women, each presented with lascivious artwork courtesy of the author, but there is depth to the characters too. My favourites included the cool and pragmatic Slayer, and the twin axe-wielding, dog-snouted Talon, a very powerful but sensible alpha female who is one of the warrior chiefs. And I’ll never forget the psychotic and terrifyingly childish Pippi whom I grew to love and loathe in equal measures.

As well as the violence, there are some guiltily arousing wolfish sex scenes, and a deftly handled angle of lost love that is surprisingly poignant.

It’s not a faultless book. There are several glaring text errors, which are always disappointing. And while the action is mostly a blast, a prolonged swordfight near the end didn’t work for me on the page, and I ended up skimming until I found its conclusion.

I was also slightly disappointed when we left McDonaldland behind. It’s a fascinating idea. Here, the smiley, brightly-coloured facade of a fast-food environment – that masks the disillusionment or brainwashing of its automaton workforce - now infects every walk of life. The opportunities aren’t wasted, whether they be light-hearted fun or deeper social commentary, and I would’ve loved to have seen this concept explored further.

But the matriarchal wasteland itself is a fresh and exciting vision, and there’s considered gender politics at play; it’s not just cheap thrills for the boys. This author always manages to blend twisted bizarro japery with substance.

Despite its minor flaws, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is one of Carlton Mellick III’s stronger works. The conclusion is unpredictable, but without resorting to contrived twists, and nicely seals a subversive, intelligent and entertaining read.

[Steven Rage · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daniel Togg led a fairly placid life within McDonaldland, working for The Blessed McDonald's Corporation like everyone else that's left in this post-post apocalyptic world. Togg's doing okay, working his mindless gig, making illegal fire-water out of ketchup packets, until he discovers he is one of the many men-folk who seems to be mutating extra limbs. The females of McDonaldland are gradually turning into wolves, becoming more wolf-like as the women become sexually active. Unfortunately for both groups, the mutations of the men and the sexuality of the women are seen as a threat to the stability and purity of McDonaldland. So, out into the harsh and unforgiving environs of the Wasteland, they go.
Besides trying to avoid all of the apartment building sized alpha wolves, the mutated men (outlanders) and the hyper-violent women (wolf warriors) spend their time trying to survive by hitting the McDonald's supply runs and fighting amongst themselves. Until the day comes when all three groups come together for a Wasteland armegeddon and all the wonderfully written bloody visceral violence. Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is CM3's longest book since Satan Burger and arguably one of his best. I enjoyed the hell out of it!
CM3 is one of the founding members and current stalwart of the Bizarro genre uprising (uprising sounds much cooler than movement, don't ya think?). CM3 is a very prolific writer with 26 books under his belt in less than a decade, and holds great relevence to the Bizarro genre and scene as a whole. And he is a very gracious, nice guy. Meeting his Royal Chop-ness in person can be quite intimidating. He's a big dude. CM3 seems as if he could and would crush your skull with one of his huge mitts with no more effort than it would be for him to squash an aluminum pop can. He's quiet, too. I don't know how someone that displaces so much air can ninja his way so quietly, but he does. Coupled with his darkly garbed uniform, CM3 would make a more than passable James Bond-type villian. But he's not. CM3 is just a writer. One of the best on the planet.
Thank Gods.

[Kirsten Alene · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have already instructed everyone in the whole world to read Carlton Mellick III‘s strange and wonderful books. I like them more and more.

The great thing about these books is that although they contain awkward and bizarrely pornographic scenes, surreal settings, strange twisted story lines – although they read like a cult movie with ad-hoc camera or a low-budget TV show – they don’t lose any depth or meaning. The Haunted Vagina surprised me by being so sweet, so hopeful, and so human; Menstruating Mall, while oddly disconnected from it’s epic ending, was still miles away from being just the entertaining story that I expected; and The Egg Man, though it contained the customary amount of Bizarro lewdness, was brain-exercising.

I recently finished Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland and as usual I was not disappointed. The book is exactly what its title promises: Women turning into wolves in a post-apocalyptic Road-Warrior-esque wasteland outside of an isolated, pseudo-communist walled city called McDonaldland where the only food available is food from the McDonalds menu which is slowly turning everyone into multi-limbed mutants. Oh my!

The only criticism I can offer is a very general criticism and it is that I am tired of irredeemably weak and pathetic male protagonists taken away by their own self-centered universes. It is a way of representing human beings that is sadly accurate. But it doesn’t have to be the only way.

For more personal reasons, I am irked by the storyline that goes like this: Man in love with girl. Man crushed/disappointed/hurt by girl. Man finds other girl. Man dislikes/loathes other girl. Man somewhat apathetically enters into a relationship with other girl. Man figures he might as well love other girl. They live happily ever after.

It seems too hopeless, too mature, and too un-explosive.

Woody Allen tells me that this is how relationships and love are really conducted.

But I like explosions.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was my second go at CMIII book. I picked up Satan Burger years and years ago and never really got into it. So I wasn't quite sure what to expect picking this one up. The reader's thrown into a rather bizarre world right off the bat. I mean, there are plenty of familiar post-apocalyptic elements there to lube the way, but you're still knee-deep in a McDonalds-dominated society in which food-born parasites cause men to grow multiple limbs and women to become increasingly lupine with every orgasm. So hey, you're either on board or you're not at that point, but an entertaining tale unfolds from all that. Things get weirder, sure, but its a case where the world itself seems fully conceptualized. It's not merely a matter of the author throwing a bunch of weird-o content at the wall to see what sticks and becomes a narrative.

I think its easy to look at the titles and illustrations for books like these and flash judge them as just weird-for-the-sake-of-being-weird. But they're also not weird-for-the-sake-of-creating-some-tired-metaphor. Instead, I think reading sufficiently weird fiction is like viewing strange shapes in a fog. At times the shapes seem analogous to something in the real world, but little becomes concrete. We want books that ask questions instead of rattle off presumptuous answers, right?

But I'm rambling. This is a good read.

[Donald Gorman · Rating 4 out of 5]

mellick is an adept voice for the new counterculture. i'm becoming a fan! i was a bit hesitant with this book...i'm usually not big on post-apocalyptic fiction because it's reaching the 'been-there-done-that' stage in fiction. but mellick treats the subject with just the right sense of humor. he tells a good 'alternative werewolf' tale with a certain serious, respectable story, but still injects humor about the world in which we live. it's filled with war, violence, carnage, biker wolf babes, sex and love...all the things that make life worth living. it's about the only book i can name that is written in the first person by a character who spends an entire chapter inside a wolf's stomach (after being eaten), that is still an easy book to digest. mellick can tell a serious tale...yet he has a good sense of humor about our so-called civilization. mellick is intelligent, at times irreverent...sometimes pleasant...sometimes sick and gruesome. i wasn't sure how i was going to like this book, but i was really impressed. i like sick and gross as long as it is well-written, and mellick can deliver the goods. i'm becoming a mellick fan. if you like stories that are filled with war, violence, women who turn into wolves, carnage, sex and love...(and did i mention women who turn into wolves?)...then wolf this baby down. you'll be glad you did.

[FasterKillFastPussycat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Carlton Mellick has a crazy way of thrilling me, disgusting me, and amusing me all at once.He has a weird and creative mind. The McDonaldland city was so unexpected and yet totally believable.....McDonalds would be the corporation to make it through an apocalypse...lol!!!I didn't expect to read that in a book called Werewolf women of the wasteland...It was a pleasant suprise. Part of me wishes things would have ended differently but I can also see why the book had to end the way it did.

[Robert Giesenhagen · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know that time Patty Hearst was kidnapped by the SLA and she ended up helping her captors commit crimes. Well the Wolfwomen kick the shit out of evil McDonald’s characters so sign me up.

At almost 300 pages this is perhaps Mellick’s longest book. Not positive as I haven’t read everything..yet. But it doesn’t feel long at all.

[William III · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Mellick is known for his tales of bizarre worlds and powerful women, but never before has he pulled it off so naturally. If you're wondering where to start with Mellick's work, start here.

[Joshua Mousey · Rating 1 out of 5]

What in the bloody, ball busting, blackened, butch, blazes did I just read?

A recent revelation I came to is when I found my limits regarding what subject matter I can handle in books, and by extension, various other forms of media. Anything with depictions of rape/sexual assault or abuse, misogyny/misandry, corporal punishments, and excessive violence is an absolute no-go for me. I used to think I had enough maturity to withstand seeing stuff like that, but attempts I made at them made me sick. Eventually, I finally gained enough inner strength to test my limits, or at least try to, with those themes, so I read Warrior Wolf Women of the Wastelands, a book in a genre I've never heard of: Bizarro fiction. Needless to say, I've over jumped the shark with what I was getting myself into, because this book has all of those things rolled into one. My reading experience of this went about as well as a narcoleptic driving an F1 car. Never before has a book made me want to vomit, cry, punch a hole in my wall, and violate the Geneva Convention more times than the people get violated in this story (when I say people in this book's context, I mean that in the loosest way possible). This is the most ugly, badly written, inconsistent, logically inept, vile, twisted, unapologetic, morally bankrupt, trash fire of a story I've ever engaged in. I was left in such a prolonged state of perpetual disbelief upon finishing this book that I contemplated getting a lobotomy to shave the memory of reading something this unrepentantly sadistic. The subject matter in this book is so egregious, you could make a Cannibal Corpse song out of it. I considered waiting a bit before writing this review just to calm myself down from the cyclone of unsettlement I felt, but I don’t ever want to think about this book again, and if I prolong spilling my thoughts about it, it’s gonna bother me more and more. I might as well get it all out of the way while I can.

For starters, there's an interesting, yet disturbing topic that comes up in media, and the broader scope of society: it's abhorrent when a man rapes a woman, but it's treated like it's no big deal when a woman rapes a man, especially in media. This kind of dichotomy puts into perspective how men are affected by such a thing much differently than women. Whenever I see male victims of rape portrayed as lesser than, it always puts a big knot in my gut since it sets a precedent of male victims of sexual assault not mattering in the grand scheme of things. If female victims are treated with a lot of respect and sensitivity, why not men?

That's what was running through my head while reading this book because there a key point in this book regarding the wolf women, is that they maintain sexual liberation through their lycanthropy, free of laws preventing them from having sex, by kidnapping and raping men exiled from the city, either through overpowering them when they’re incapacitated, or through a ceremony where other wolf women watch it happen like they’re in a ritualistic sex cult (I won't bother getting into the in universe mechanics of how semen makes them grow stronger as wolves). Because of how poisoned everything is, women who have sex, or even masturbate turn into wolves, and are kicked out upon people finding out they’re turning into one, resulting in misogynist men without restraint raping women. At which point, women who were wolves before adopt them into their lifestyle, learning how to fight, hunt, and kill. The even get taught to despise the men who put them in their situation, so the ones they capture, they rape, not only to maintain their wolf forms since they’re in a sunk cost fallacy with their physicality since they can’t revert back into humans, but as an act of revenge, hence misandrist women raping men. After aggressively raping the men they capture, the bite their heads and swallow them whole. This happens multiple times throughout the book, and they never failed to make my hands shiver, burn my face, and put me on the brink of blowing chunks. Of course this isn’t a small thing either since females raping males happen more than males raping females in this story, and it's visually sickening to witness those scenes play out with how much agony the victim suffers from. It’s impossible to not get sick while watching them. If that was the point, then congratulations. You successfully gave me nightmares for weeks. As if that’s not enough, there are various spins on this motif, like one of the wolf women raping a fat guy not only by furiously straddling him while he cries out in pain, but by her shoving his third mutant leg into her vagina for an extra long orgasm before biting his head off, and the other wolf women watch this and cheer her on like they’re at a football game. Or how there are cases with men raping captured wolf women so they can mutate into larger, meatier wolves to later be used as lambs to slaughter for the already contaminated food supply. As if there’s no other sound way of finding meat to cook. No wonder the food supply in this world is poisoned. Are all burgers in this composed of human or once-human flesh?

There are way too many rape scenes and mentions; some of which came off as unnecessary, like Talon having the Kratos treatment of getting separated from her family, joining the Warrior Women, but accidentally raiding and killing her sons who joined the army, resulting in her watching her captured husband get raped and killed by a rival wolf because he refused to forgive her, and he accepts his fate depressingly. Or when the father of Nova, the main character’s love interest, raped her when she was a kid because of how much the city was turning on women who were wolfing out. Or when Pippi, a viscous wolf with the emotional intellect of a toddler who didn’t get what she wanted at the toy store, and is insistent on treating her captors like meatsacks to boss around, rapes Daniel, the main character, slowly while forcing him to pretend to like it just to piss off Nova (more on this later). Or when the wolf women just rape soldiers in the middle of a firefight. It did little for my immersion when the raping is alluded to and/or shown in almost every other chapter, and that's not even accounting for the depraved way in which it tries to justify itself.

Speaking of which, the characters tend to escape situations or have things go according to plan via convenience or dumb luck. Multiple times they could have been killed off during the action scenes, which are written in a way where they absolutely should have been killed with how many close calls they have. The action scenes have multiple moments where Daniel and his group of friends could and should have died from the abundant amount of crossfire they're caught in, especially since they’re just strapped to the wolf women without any sort of armor. Or how Daniel and his friends conveniently run into a friend of his who joined the army, and is gearing up to destroy both the wolf women, and the inner city of McDonaldland to stop some sort of governmental overhaul of the entire society; that’s not a joke by the way, the main city is literally called McDonaldland where it’s ruler is a mutated Big Mac. Why weren't more men mutated into having food for body parts instead of extra limbs, or why lycanthropy was specifically chosen as a mutative disease with the women instead of also having more limbs and or food like body parts? I don’t know, and I don’t care. Not to mention how gratuitous violence is and how ugly the drawings are. This all occurs in a shoddy world that wouldn't need to exist if the religious, fundamentalist leaders of this McDonalds infested society had enough sense to not choose the worst possible meal to feed its citizens, and go with an easy solution to the in universe problems that came about: just kill the mutants and wolf women instead of exiling them to the wastelands. That way you won’t have to fight and risk getting molested and mutilated by troglodyte furries, and you won’t have to worry about poisonous parasites infecting everything and everyone, turning them into smooth brained hillbillies with the sexual impulses of an unfixed dog.

Nova confuses me. It’s understandable that she has mental scars from her dad raping and exiling her, and to some extend, fully embracing her wolf side, as if taking control of something she didn’t ask for, but why the hell does she leave behind Daniel the one person who connected to her the most? The book is in pretty big favor of having them get back together again, considering how much Daniel thinks about her and wants to protect her. They even have sex twice, which should have sealed the deal even more so since when they go for a second round, Nova fully becomes a wolf. But she chooses to leave since he reminds her of her old self, which she wants to forget about. So even after reuniting with the one person who gives you a shred of your humanity back, the very person you fornicated with twice, the one person who made you feel like a person again, you ditch him because he makes you think of a circumstance you were caught in that wasn’t even your fault? I know your furious over Pippi raping Daniel right in front of you, and he’s not a strong fighter like you or the other wolves, but nothing was stopping from you from killing Pippi and taking back Daniel for good, especially since she was stripped of her status. All the other wolf women don’t like her either, so that was a much better opportunity to take back the one thing you held dear.

When Pippi is stripped of her status for harming a teammate she no longer gets to treat Daniel as subhuman trash, but when it’s revealed she’s pregnant with his child, previously conceived from her raping him, she’s insistant on him staying with her to raise it. Why isn’t this a point of contention for the demoted member of the wolf clan? Are lower ranking members not allowed to raise their own offspring? Daniel couldn’t have consulted with Talon about this? I get this happened after the fact, but again, Daniel is no longer property to her. He doesn’t have to conform to her sadism, especially when it’s hinted at other members of the clan having a vendetta against her. If not there, then Pippi absolutely should have died during the final fight, especially with how wreckless she is in a fight, and the aforementioned chaos of the fights. The book shares an idea of making compromises near the end, but how can you compromise staying with and starting a family with someone who raped you? Nothing in this book indicates Daniel being a masochist, so what was the point of him choosing to raise a kid he didn’t want with his serial abuser? I don’t give a damn what anyone says, Daniel staying with his rapist is dumb. Slayer and Krall are the only characters who come out relatively unscathed since they’re the only ones who enjoy each other’s company in any conceivable, somewhat, non-predatory manner.

I would have had a better time being clockwork oranged into watching religious propoganda videos because this is one of the worst books I’ve ever read; worse enough to give Shadow of the Conqueror a run for its money. It's seriously astonishing how a pile of shit like this won any kind of award whatsoever. To those who like this book, please help me understand why if you care to. What is it about this book, or the genre it's in, that makes you rate it so highly? How do you handle monstrous, masochistic, nonsense like this? For the life of me, I can't justify enjoying something that's basically a glorified Amazonian, werewolf, rape fantasy with the structural integrity of a dead leaf. I like dominant women as much as the next guy, but this is going way to fucking far, pardon the pun. Whether or not Bizarro fiction is meant to be this gross in general, it’s a terrible first impression. If you're into that or if you want to explain what you like about this dung heap of literary waste, knock yourself out, but for the rest of you: if you have any self respect, don't read this book. If you're even thinking about reading a sample of this book, don't read this book. If you even have the time, money, and energy to purchase and read through this book, regardless of the things I outlined, do not read this book. Your sanity will thank you in the long run. But if you decide to read this book after all, you better hope whatever god you think exists does exist, because you'll need every single prayer you can to endure this. Reader revulsion is strongly advised.

[Reade Bookington · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know if this is a good book, but it is certainly entertaining and absolutely unhinged. Perhaps the genre "bizarro" fiction should have cued me in to that, but whatever.

I won't spoil anything plot-wise you wouldn't learn in the first two chapters, but got damn, there's still a lot of crazy shit. The basic plot is that the main character lives in this totalitarian city-state following a nuclear apocalypse. World government has shit the bed, but McDonalds (the burger chain) is still kicking, and as the most powerful organization remaining, every aspect of society is McDonald's themed. This includes religion, as the city has implemented this vaguely Christian-feeling religion but reskinned with McDonald's properties (Ronald is Jesus, the Hamburglar is the devil, etc) which results in dialogue like people saying "What the *Hamburglar* is going on here?!" Just, ludicrous stuff.

So, MC gets kicked out of "McDonaldland" for reasons I will not specify here, but suffice to say, the gentleman grew some extra arms. There's also a lot of werewolves running around in the wastelands outside the city. They're all female, and not really werewolves per se, but all undergoing a process of wolf-ification. They get more and more beast like every time they orgasm, and in fact, a lot of these wolf women in the wasteland are former citizens of the McDonaldland who had sex before marriage. Because that's the kind of thing that happens when the kids can't keep it in their pants and don't make room for Jesus (or, Ronald, I guess).

The wolf girls are mean, and violent, and supernaturally strong. They have guns and motorcycles. They also hate men, will enslave any they find, but at the same time become hornier and hornier the more wolf-like they get, and thus, their male chattel routinely get used for things other than physical labor and target practice.

The author's barely disguised fetish? More like *my* barely-disguised fetish and the healthy impulse of red-blooded men everywhere. Seriously, this book knocks it out of the park in terms addressing the gender politics of late capitalism. You want strong female characters? Boom, you got 'em. How about a half-hyena lady who can punch a hole through the stomach of her pregnant rival? How about feral she-wolves as big as houses that swallow dudes whole, leaving them to digest in their belly juices? If that's not a metaphor for female empowerment, I don't know what is. Honestly, we need Carlton Mellick III on high school curriculums.

Yet, in contrast to the completely outlandish content, the writing style is a touch dry. Although, this makes the world seems all the more unhinged, as the first person narration is almost deadpan and suggests a character who just accepts the insane world around him. But of course, it's a mistake to read too much into anything in this book. It is a romp of fur, ferocity, spilled fluids, oh, and it's full of these wild illustrations by the author. These are great for those of us who want to more fully immerse ourselves in the experience of receiving a chain-whipping at the hands of a pack of bare-breasted lycanthropes, but don't know how to envision the apple.

I laughed, I cried, I peed a little. And, at the end of it all, I learned something: that between fascistic fast food McWarlords, and gangs of cannibalistic she-demons, a man can still find love.

[Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

I pretty much bought this one for the title. And it lived up to the title. This is apparently in a genre that is called "Bizarro Fiction," and I can see that. I've read some short stories of this type, and even written some myself, but this is the first book length work I've read in the area, and the first book I've read by Carlton Mellick III. One thing that surprised me is that I expected it to be written in a much more surreal style, but the language is very matter of fact, even mundane, which may be intentional to counter the bizarre qualities of the story.

The basic idea is that an apocalypse has destroyed most of civilization. A nation based upon the principles and mythology of McDonald's has arisen and our hero is born into that world but doesn't fit in. Women who have orgasms in this new world become increasingly wolf like and many of them are exiled to the wastelands outside the walls. Some men are also beginning to sprout extra limbs and they get exiled too, but to a hidden military facility outside the walls. Suffice it to say, our hero gets exiled, ends up the property of the wolf women, and weird things ensue.

It took me a little while to get into the story but it's easy reading. It's written primarily in short scenes. I soon began to empathize with the characters and there were some touching moments throughout, with a big and "bizarre" battle at the end. I ended up liking it quite a bit and can recommend it to you if you aren't familiar with bizarro fiction. An added bonus is that it has a lot of interior illustrations that are cool.

[Shawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though I wasn't immediately hooked from the get go, Mellick III delivers his most ambitious action scenes while still providing the character details, gore, sexuality, all with an emotionally satisfying story arc. Then there is the main draw of the novel which is the werewolf mythology Mellick III has created where a woman's sexuality is dangerous and if not kept in check eventually turns them into (almost) totally inhuman killer beasts. There is also a bit more to it than that, but I'm not going into it. I even think the choice of having MacDonalds be the corporation turned city/state religion that flourishes is a good choice because of the way it works into the plot of the werewolf mythos, even if it dates itself.
As usual, read Mellick III, do it you coward

[Blakerton Barwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was crying at the end of this book 😭
Warrior Wolf Women of the Wastelands (WWWW) constantly evolves and iterates upon its initial establishments, which continued to make the reading engaging and had you constantly questioning who really is the "bad guys" in all of this post-apocalyptic madness.
In such a schlock book, it is surprising when you come across such a fully realized cast of characters that make decisions for their own ends and are informed by their past. With many characters having wonderful arcs by the end, some of which made me tear up 😢.

The book is disgusting, disturbing, gorey, rapey, furry, and also loving, fun, comedic, heart-warming, and romantic. Easily one of CM3's best works.

[Berenice A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Apunkalypse Mad Max with strong werewolf women guerilla that fucks with the dystopian government. This had a potential to be the best Mellick book so far. Hadn't it been for two things - the rapes (many of which were unnecessary for the plot and character development), and - just like with Cuddly Holocaust - the ending.

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly, not my favorite Carlton Mellick III book. I really enjoyed the parts in and about McDonaldland, the civilization owned and run by The Blessed McDonald's Corporation, but a lot of this story is just action fight scene.

[Darren Stricklin · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first half was pretty damn good, absolutely absurd but that’s why you read books like this. Unfortunately the second half was not great at all, especially the final act. There were spelling errors and a certain recurring theme in the combat that the author seemed strangely obsessed with.

[Rain · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh what the heck, I must have been hacked why is this in my reads?

Bizarre is maybe not for me. I dont mind the wild scenarios, but the writing was a bit weak and I didn't feel invested in any of the characters.

[Pythius · Rating 5 out of 5]

very nice, less gross that geek love though which was unexpected
carlton's art was pretty good too