How to Fail: Everything I’ve Ever Learned From Things Going Wrong

by Elizabeth Day

Inspired by her hugely popular podcast, How To Fail is Elizabeth Day’s brilliantly funny, painfully honest and insightful celebration of things going wrong.

This is a book for anyone who has ever failed. Which means it’s a book for everyone.

If I have learned one thing from this shockingly beautiful venture called life, it is failure has taught me lessons I would never otherwise have understood. I have evolved more as a result of things going wrong than when everything seemed to be going right. Out of crisis has come clarity, and sometimes even catharsis.

Part memoir, part manifesto, and including chapters on dating, work, sport, babies, families, anger and friendship, it is based on the simple premise that understanding why we fail ultimately makes us stronger. It's a book about learning from our mistakes and about not being afraid. Uplifting, inspiring and rich in stories from Elizabeth’s own life, How to Fail reveals that failure is not what defines us; rather it is how we respond to it that shapes us as individuals. Because learning how to fail is actually learning how to succeed better. And everyone needs a bit of that.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Memoir, Audiobook, Psychology, Personal Development, Biography

272 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 4, 2019

About the author

Elizabeth Day is an English journalist, broadcaster and novelist. She was a feature writer for The Observer from 2007 to 2016 and has written four novels.

Reviews

[Paromjit · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the kind of book that is likely to appeal to a wide range of people because unlike the overwhelming focus on success in society, this studies the phenomena of failure, and this is something we all have experience of. Elizabeth Day writes a part memoir and draws on the wide ranging celebrities that she has interviewed on the topic of 3 failures in their lives for a hugely popular podcast. Day looks on failure with her multitude of personal examples and her interviews with others, such as Gina Miller, Olivia Laing, Sebastian Faulks and Phoebe Waller-Bridge, to posit that it is how we respond to failure and what we learn from it that frames who we are and what we become. In so many ways, it is much more richly rewarding to examine failure than success. There are venture capitalists who will not back anyone who has not failed, regarding it as a powerful learning experience that provides some insurance that the new initiative is more likely to succeed.

Day is uncommonly open and honest about the trials and tribulations she has faced in her life, including her dating experiences, failed marriage, relationships, and her painful fertility issues. I was particularly drawn to her troubled childhood when her surgeon father moved the family to Northern Ireland during the conflict and its culture of silence. The impact it has on her life is wide in its scope, at school, of not belonging, of how unforgiving children can be to difference, standing out from the crowd, being a target for bullies, how she felt forced to be someone other than she was to just survive. She learnt that in new situations it pays to initially be more observant and listening to successfully integrate, whilst acknowledging that she has been plagued in her life with her need to be liked and wanting to please others. Her childhood issues highlights the need to adapt, and this is common in certain professions, such as the constant moves faced by military families, often demanding resilience with the never ending requirement to face new schools and new scenarios, and just as you begin to settle, a new move is on the agenda.

Day learns from the tests and examinations that she failed that she was helped by distancing herself from the event, and not defining herself in terms of the outcome, a valuable lesson given we live in a society that is hellbent on a culture of continuing assessment and providing us with never ending opportunities to see ourselves as failures. This study of failure casts a keen eye on what it is to fail, and how if we can grasp why we have failed, we can learn to be better armed to prevent its often catastrophic fallout for the future. Day writes in an engaging and entertaining style that makes for easy reading, and so compelling in its common sense approach that it cannot to fail to catch the interest of what I imagine would be a wide range of readers. After all, are there any amongst us who have never failed? Many thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate for an ARC.

[Doon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elizabeth Day is a good writer and I found her writing style engaging and the content interesting, as her anecdotal stories are weaved in with sound bites from people from the How To Fail podcast. However, while Day acknowledges her privilege I felt like the book was unable to see beyond it. All of the anecdotes are from cis, white, middle class people.

[Em Cox · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really love Elizabeth Day, she’s a fantastic journalist, podcast host and interviewer - maybe one of the best interviewers today.
Despite this, I ironically, failed to like this book. Each chapter has a theme of failures and how Day overcame them, for example; work, relationships, tests, fitting in, family etc etc. It sounds like a great premise but I found it very reserved as though she was holding the reader at arms length. The only chapter that I felt we were really ‘let in’ to her life was the one on babies. Unfortunately, I did find her un-relatable due to her background of privilege - which I know is not her fault. For example, the luxury of being able to just quit your job to go freelance because you’re unfulfilled or moving to France for 6 months so you can experience culture.
I read Dolly Alderton’s memoir, and while she also comes from a fortunate background, I still could connect with a lot of the themes that she was discussing and I think this is because she was so authentic and raw with how she wrote - she really let the reader be a part of her psyche. I really wanted to love How to Fail but I just couldn’t connect with it but it has not taken away from how much I enjoy Day’s podcast or other work and I do remain a huge fan.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This is the book I never knew I needed. Throughout our lives, we’ll fail multiple times. Whether that’s failing a test (I failed my driving test twice), failing relationships (I’ve had many) or failing any other aspect of your life. You will fail. But it’s what we learn from our failures that define who we are, and shape the person you are now. That’s the knowledge that’s imparted here.

Part biography, part self help journey, Elizabeth Day manages to take us through the many failings in her own life, throwing little paragraphs of inspiration along the way. There’s the time she got divorced, which she reflects in a truly inspiring and upbeat way, or the time her boyfriend called her ‘big’ and she started down a road of self loathing. She comes across as approachable, down to earth, self deprecating yet also somehow completely put together. She speaks from the heart, reminiscing that what you may see as a failure, others may see as a success. It’s this attitude that made we want to read on, because I could see so much of my own past here, and I really wanted to feel the way she feels about failing.

Day also interviews various famous people, usually authors and writers of some description, as they recount the various failings in their own lives. This included David Baddiel recounting the time he missed a penalty in a charity football match, and how it wasn’t just the penalty he felt he was failing, but a dream he’d had for a long time. This felt so relatable to me, as someone who’s longheld dreams didn’t live up to the hype. It was refreshing to read about someone else feeling the same.

Honestly, there were so many quotable life inspiring moments like this, it’s hard to pick a few. There was a lot to learn from reading this, and it’s certainly given me pause for thought on how much I let my own failings beat me up inside. As an introverted perfectionist, that’s pretty often. It’s eloquently written, in a style that’s easy to read and the author comes across very well. Great for all of us who constantly put ourselves down, and can’t see the bigger picture. Failings are there to make you see how far you’ve come. And remember: ‘it’s the fucking sun’.

[Tabitha · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the chapter "How to Fail at Your Twenties" reassuring, but the rest of the book I didn't connect with. It seemed narcissistic and assumed her reader's experiences were just like her own, or her celeb friends/interviewees.

I appreciate the concept; Day wants to raise awareness of failures that are often normalised and overlooked, especially for women, using her personal experiences and those from some key interviewees. That's the book I'd hoped to find comfort in. But the part autobiography, part self-help guide mash up only works if we sympathise with her struggles. Which I didn't. With the exception of her chapter on IVF, the book lacked depth. It also lacked new material - perhaps if she'd interviewed more actually average people about their day-to-day failures, about their conception of failure, I would have found something more to get invested in. I felt as though I'd heard it all already from listening to a few key episodes of her podcast.

The happy ending, where she admits that her failures aren't really failures at all, and that she's actually very successful, but regardless of her success, "success and failure, viewed from this [her/ Taoist philosophy's] perspective, are the same" just doesn't ring true. I don't think it's accurate to declare that "This is a book for anyone who has ever failed. Which means it's a book for everyone". I think really it's a book for those who haven't listened to the podcast and don't intend to, and who are luckless-in-love middle-aged white upper-middle-class women.

I had high hopes for this book and am disappointed. If it were renamed "How I personally came to understand the concept of failure" (or a catchy version with the same sentiment) then maybe I'd have appreciated it more. But most of the chapters don't outline any real failures at all ("How To Fail at Being Gwyneth Paltrow" ?!).

I'm glad others have been able to take something noteworthy from this book, but I wouldn't recommend.

[K.J. Charles]

The author's definition of failure seems to be 'anything that doesn't go 100% my way all the time'. eg her 'failure' at a career is getting a job on the Evening Standard right out of uni, becoming a staff writer on the Observer, starting a successful freelance business, getting her first novel published with national reviews, winning an award, writing some bestsellers, and launching a mega hit podcast. But some people didn't like her book and she didn't find journalism as rewarding as she hoped! Mmm. Speaking as someone who's been "clear your desk and get out" sacked, I'm not feeling it.

This reads like someone who's been dealt a hand full of kings and queens coming to terms with it not being all aces, and I don't know what lessons people who have actually failed, in ways that have affected their lives for the worse, are meant to draw. Still, it's a marvellous reminder to count your blessings.

[Johann (jobis89) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I simply adore Elizabeth Day. She inspires the heck outta me!

[Phee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely adored this. I related to it so much which was such a pleasant surprise. Normally I get a little hesitant when I'm reading a memoir of a woman who's a fair bit older than me. Mainly because I haven't experienced much in my life up to now, due to being in my early twenties. But my goodness, everyone can get something from this book. I have a feeling I'll be gifting this to many people for birthdays etc. Everyone has failed at something. Most of us have failed at many things (I certainly have!). So it's refreshing to read about other people's lives and what someone else considers a failure. It's all a matter of perspective.

[Caro Harper · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, as I enjoy the podcasts. I made myself read it to the end, but it was a slog. Even though a lot of what it says makes sense, it is just too naval gazing for me.

[Hally · Rating 4 out of 5]

Failure is absolutely not something I’ve ever been brought up to embrace. I can only imagine what a difference it would have made to me growing up if I’d have been introduced to the concept of using failure as a positive experience, or even a neutral one, early on.

I slowly fell in love with Elizabeth Day’s How to Fail podcast a year ago, making my way through every episode. Despite enjoying her writing, I think she is especially brilliant at bouncing off of people, asking questions, and drawing out answers and emotion from the guests whilst treating them with compassion. I say I fell in love slowly because, at first, and at intervals during which I have been under the self-centred cloak of depression, I have felt that the failures chosen by some guests were not so much failures as hardships. Often these weren’t examples of their own personal ‘lacking’, whilst I was the true and real failure. As I continued listening though, I gained a better understanding of how people can internalise negative experiences and assimilate them as their own feelings of shame. Applying this to myself has been groundbreaking for me even at 28. I feel as though my thoughts have been prised open like a concertina in which one side is black and the other white, revealing shades and shades of grey, something I have been attempting to do for years and must keep exercising like a muscle.

Many of the sentiments from the podcast are repeated in the book. I particularly enjoyed how the audio version uses soundbites from Day’s interviews where guests have been quoted. I’m glad I listened to the audio book, and recommend doing so (although I'm lucky to have also received a hard copy that I can dip back into later). I find Elizabeth Day's voice comforting, and after having it accompany me on 10 hours’ worth of my walks during lockdown, I said ''Thank you Elizabeth!'' out loud.

I did feel more strongly about some chapters than others, but this is always to be the case. I sometimes related to the experiences and reactions detailed by Day, in others to the experiences but not to her reactions, and some were completely new to me. People have criticised Day’s account for being a privileged one, which she expresses awareness of throughout the book. Certain chapters, such as the one detailing her experiences with IVF, made me engage with a topic I’d never thought about in much detail. I felt like I’d truly seen her and the hidden depths and pains of her life.

My friend has been listening to this at the same time as me and she said ''I only wish I had read this book 10 or so years ago,'' which I completely agree with. I think I would have benefited so much from certain chapters in my teens and early 20s.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

How To Fail is a hugely successful podcast in which Elizabeth Day interviews actors, writers and other people from the public eye on their failures and how they have dealt with them. I have to admit this reviewer has not listened to the podcast but was intrigued by the concept of the book. I must admit, I have not read a book in such a long time that has left my so conflicted, that has made me question so much but more so the books existence and if I agree with it or not.

The one thing I found so hard to shy away from throughout the book is the term “Failure”. Elizabeth Day addresses the issue straight away that successful people can be failures, that is the nature of the podcast and perhaps the entire book. I just found it difficult to escape from the author’s privilege and opportunities. Whilst she addresses it, it’s a cloud that haunts the book throughout. In an early chapter, it focuses on sport; Day states that she “wasn’t properly bad. Instead, I was mediocre, which was almost worst”. She seems unable to believe she cannot be perfect at everything. But she is on the court, she has the lessons, the expensive trainers to go with it. Later on when with an instructor, someone tells Day that she goes into a “pit of self loathing”. This unquestionably surrounds the book and it’s just hard to sympathise in these early stages. This is a person who went to Cambridge, has made it, she wanted to write and she has just done that. When things did go wrong, she was able to go to America, this ability to disappear, reform and rebuild from failure isn’t relatable at all, and alienated me completely.

In the second half of the novel she does address challenging themes, and it would be inhuman to question any of it, her response to what happens is her journey and is written with incredible conviction, showcasing that she is an excellent writer and bares all to the reader. Again, her response and ability to recover comes from a privilege to have a pool of friends and ability to have therapy. If it what she needed, then who am I to say otherwise, it just felt again more alienating.

Day claims this book is for anyone who has failed, therefore making it applicable to anyone. Whilst she is not wrong, this book wont be able to help everyone, however it has made me ask so many questions of myself, and the context of the book. So perhaps Day has delivered after all?

[Julie Parks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now that I've read it I can't remember what exactly attracted me to this book.

It felt like meeting a very good friend by a fireplace somewhere in the mountains (say, on a weekend when there's a blizzard outside and skiing isn't an option) and you get bored eventually and open one too many bottles of wine and start pouring out not just that but also all your deepest confessions and tell-all life experiences that start feeling extremely real even if it's the other girl talking, not you.



And somehow - rather magically - the typical female judgment is amiss.

I'm not sure we learn anything from these. I mean, isn't it human nature to need to make our own mistakes (and only THEN learn, if at all). But it sure feels good knowing you're not the only one out there.

The best part is that this is still only a book, and you don't have to worry about the fact that you might be nodding along with OMG the same thing happened to me and fear that the narrator might call out on you the next day.



It's SUPPORTIVE FEMALE SPIRIT LITERATURE - there should be a genre for it.

Thank you Netgalley for sharing it and Elizabeth Day for writing it!

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5stars.
Split into chapters, such as •How to Fail at Fitting In •How to Fail at relationships etc, Elizabeth Day in this memoir, inspired by her How to Fail podcasts, shares her own stories and insights into what she has learned from things going wrong, as well as anecdotes from celebrities who have been on her podcast.

I found the first few chapters merely pleasant, and the one on failing a driving test a little self-indulgent. Elizabeth Day is open about her white, middle-classed privilege, but I thought it was a shame that the narratives from her podcast were from very successful people too. It's easier to recover from failure, learn and reform a life if you have the wherewithal. Where are the poor and working class heroes? Also, I don't feel that we necessarily learn and grow more resilient from failure, there are so many different lives, for some people failure leads to more failure.

Anyway, it took me a few chapters to warm to this, and warm to it I did. Maybe it's that despite the everydayness of the failures, they started to resonate with me more? But I think it's because it gets more personal. Elizabeth Day is very honest about past relationships, friendships, miscarriage and infertility. And also how, in retrospect, some of her failures are a gender issue, from fertility 'experts' mostly being men, to history not being kind to angry women.

I loved the warm, down-to-earth tone to her writing, her gentle humour and insightful thoughts. She did get me pondering and left me feeling kinder towards my own failings.

I recommend.

[Jonathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

DISCLAIMER IK BEN HALVERWEGE GESTOPT OKEE SORRY MAM JEMIG

Dus... dit boek heeft basically 1 les en het is al duidelijk vanaf de inleiding: je gaat je hele leven door falen met alles wat je onderneemt, en dat is prima zolang je ervan leert en niet verwacht van jezelf ooit perfect te zijn.

Don't get me wrong: dat is oprecht een goede les! Het probleem is dat Elizabeth Day er vervolgens een hele autobiografie tegenaan gooit waar deze les eigenlijk niet eens heel erg uit voortkomt. Elk hoofdstuk vertelt ze over een aspect van haar leven. Tuurlijk, ze faalt en vertelt erover, maar de nadruk ligt teveel op alles wat ze in haar leven doet en meemaakt, en niet op alles wat ze denkt en voelt en wat de lange termijn gevolgen zijn en eventuele adviezen voor wat de lezer hier ook uit kan halen. Dat maakte het gewoon een wat oppervlakkig verhaal. En bovendien heb ik eigenlijk geen idee wie deze vrouw is, dus is een autobiografie ook niet echt waar ik naar zocht.

Dus tenzij je een boek wil lezen van en vrouw die haar eigen leven zo interessant vindt dat ze een autobiografie gaat schrijven maar tegelijkertijd weet dat ze eigenlijk niet bekend en invloedrijk genoeg is om het daadwerkelijk zo naar buiten te brengen omdat dat pittig verwaand overkomt dus het dan maar verkoopt als self-help boek wat het dus eigenlijk helemaal niet is, kan ik dit boek niet aanraden.

3 sterren omdat de les goed was en omdat ik het niet helemaal heb gelezen dus ik geef het nog de benefit of the doubt.

[NellieTests · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm really not sure what I made of this book. On one level I applaud the concept yet its execution was not quite what I expected and, for me, fell a little flat.

I do not have the benefit of having listened to any of the podcasts which gave the idea for this book and, maybe, had I, I may have understood more?

Whilst I appreciated the open and honest discussion of some very personal material I found myself thinking that much of the rest of the book was an opportunity to name drop. This took away some of the power of the work. I felt that the message would have been so much more effective had the book been less generic and more specific. I'd love to hear more about the author's fertility issues and how she reconciled these "failures" - this would be a very powerful read (and one that resonates personally). Other "failures" seemed rather trite in comparison.

I'm glad I read the book but would be unlikely to read it again. Would I recommend? Possibly but with reservations.

With thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the ARC.

[Acordul Fin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book for anyone who has ever failed. Which means it’s a book for everyone.

Yeah...no. I kind of, sort of have to disagree. I don't think it's particularly relatable because Day comes from a place of great privilege which many times played a role in the way she dealt with her various struggles. The average Joe & Joanna, or even more, people with financial great struggles won't have the luxury of the choices she was able to make. But it's not like she can help being this fortunate, can she? So I decided to take it for what it was: an okay memoir. I listened to it on audio and it felt like a long podcast.

[Almu · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book to be quite superficial.
I understand the premise of the book and how she was trying to convey that failure is not necessarily a negative thing because it is part of a learning process. But honestly, most her chapters outlining her ‘failures’ weren’t really failures... Maybe that was the point she was trying to get across... I don’t know. But I felt this book didn’t go very deep into examining failures, or anything really. I found the title of this book to be quite misleading in regards to what the actual book is about. ‘How to Fail’ is a pretty strong title and a powerful concept to unpack, which I don’t think was done in this book at all.

[Tamzen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just listen to the podcast.

[Andreea Chiuaru · Rating 3 out of 5]

Am ascultat varianta audiobook si mi-a placut. Imi plac genul asta de carti pentru ca sunt reale, ajung sa atinga tot felul de subiecte etc. Nu mi se pare mult diferita de podcast pe care l-am ascultat pe sarite, dar acum ascultand povestea lui Elisabeth Day am devenita mai interesata de el. Mie in sine cartile astea de eseuri nu mi se par revelații, dar merg bine in casti, cand ai mult de mers pe jos si esti in pauza de la podcasturi interesante

[Gina · Rating 1 out of 5]

- daugiau romanas nei saviugda
- gausu gyvenimiškų pavydžių
- humoras
- lengvas, suprantamas rašymo stilius

Skaitydama retkarčiais net pamiršdavau, jog čia saviugdos knyga, o ne romanas, pasakojamas pirmuoju asmeniu. Tuo pat metu skaičiaus Dolly Alderton „Vaiduokliai” ir istorijos kartais net persipindavo. Nors ir buvo gana smagu bei nenuobodu skaityti, visgi iš šios knygos nepasiimu nieko. Daug autorės pateikiamų pavyzdžių, garsenybių gyvenimo ypatumai. Gal net per daug, nes prie esmės vėliau prieinama tik probėgšmais. Yra ir geresnių knygų šia tema, tad nerekomenduoju.

Daugiau apžvalgų rasite:
https://www.juoduantbalto.lt

[Alison Caldicott · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The more I thought about it, the more I realised that the biggest, most transformative moments of my life came through crisis or failure”. I adore Elizabeth’s weekly podcast on the topic of failure, and her refreshingly honest take on the good and bad things life throws at us. This book is a brilliant culmination of what she considers some of her biggest failures, along with useful snippets and insights from past podcast guests. The chapter in which she explores her desire (and ultimate ‘failure’) to have children was such a heart-breaking yet incredibly beautiful read, on a topic – miscarriage – that remains taboo and under-represented in mainstream media. I can’t recommend this book or Elizabeth’s podcast more highly – she’s a remarkable woman who I admire greatly.

[Jo Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book smiling, nodding, and feeling more at peace than I have in a while. Each page resonated with me - at times it was as if I had written it myself. I love Elizabeth’s fiction and her podcast of the same title, and she has a wonderfully confident (but by no means arrogant!) way of writing. This book is ideal for anyone who struggles with feeling good enough, who considers themselves a perfectionist to a fault, or who just wants to become more at peace with who they are, warts and all. Thank you for writing this, Elizabeth. It’s going to be a comfort to have this on my bookshelf.

[Marjolein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic. A must-read, to be honest.

[Charlotte Whittle · Rating 2 out of 5]

How many times can you say that failure is not a big deal and to move on with your life? Every chapter comes to the same conclusion. Could Day not feel the repetition while she was writing this book?
The most interesting parts are about the interviews. The thoughts she shares here are authentic and honest but they do not belong to her. Day cannot offer this within her own stories and keeps the reader at arms length the entire time.
A lot of people have been comparing this to Dolly Alderton’s ‘everything I know about love’ and I understand why. She is approaching the same audience but it falls short in every way to Alderton’s book. While Alderton addresses her privilege it does not bleed into her mistakes and outlook. Day writes of small failures, ones she often can only make because of her privilege - tennis, tests, not being where she wants to be in her journalism career but still being at the Evening Standard. Every failure she has discussed is dramatised.
Where are the brutal failures, the real big life regrets? To write a book on failure is almost pretentious when you observe what Day deems as failure, one minor test where she received below 50% but then gets great grades and goes to Cambridge Univeristy. How is this failing at tests? How are you qualified to speak with authority on this? This sadly, is a question I repeatedly thought of as I continued reading.
Even the details of her dating life and relationships are opaque and we receive another story of the troubles of online dating. The whole ‘it was not like this in my day’ speech.
There is rarely a refreshing anecdote, conclusion, or thought in this book. When you get to how to fail at relationships, she tells you she is holding back from being honest and if she meets you in person she might tell you what happened in her marriage and then continues to write about her failure to write. What a misleading chapter. I can’t imagine what the chapter on marriage says. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at this. When you choose to write a book like this, you choose to be honest.
I found myself skipping over paragraphs and then chapters and then settling on the decision to stop reading it altogether.
If Day was not a famous name already, I could not be surer that this book would have failed. Now that would be something interesting her book could discuss. I rarely give up on books but here I am at page 126.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day has been the most-listened to podcast on my iPhone in the last six months, and just a quick glance at Twitter makes me realise I’m not the only one obsessed with this weekly show.

Elizabeth Day is already an acclaimed novelist and journalist (she’s one of my favourite writers), and now with How To Fail: Everything I’ve Ever Learned From Things Going Wrong, we have her first foray into non-fiction books, a direct result of the successful podcast which has featured everyone from Dolly Alderton to Alastair Campbell, one that “celebrates the things that haven’t gone right.”

I had high expectations for the book, and I’m happy to say that How To Fail lives up to all the hype. Part memoir, part manifesto, it covers every failure you can imagine (How To Fail At Fitting In; How To Fail At Families; How To Fail At Being Gwyneth Paltrow), and takes us from Elizabeth’s childhood in Northern Ireland to her twenties and thirties in London, with anecdotes from previous podcast guests and celebrity interviewees sprinkled throughout the pages, too.

It’s Elizabeth’s writing that really makes the book though, writing that is deeply moving at some points, and laugh-out-loud funny in others. She deftly takes a look at her own life and draws lessons from her own, sometimes painful, personal experiences in a way that all of us can recognize and identify with. After all, who among us hasn’t experienced failure?

In the book as on the podcast, she lifts the shame from failure. “No experience is wasted,” she writes, “even if you have no idea of what that particular experience is teaching you during the time you’re enduring it.” There’s a reason this book is on so many lists of “books to look out for” in 2019. Add it to your TBR pile now.

[Thanks to NetGalley and 4th Estate Books for the complimentary digital galley; as always, all opinions are entirely my own.]

[Mollie Foster · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was just not a fan! The whole book felt like it was written from a place where she thought the whole world was out to get her and the the things that have happened to her wouldn’t have if the world wasn’t against her and that it was all down to other peoples actions and there was no responsibility for failing and the things that had happened!

I wanted this book to be about accepting the things in your life that look like fails and how to shift this perception. I wanted to know how to be okay with failing and learn how to accept it so you appreciate where you are now. wouldn’t have learnt the things you had to make different choices and achieve what you want!

It really felt like this book was written to all the people that had done her wrong, friends, partners, hobbies, commissioners, jobs etc etc and that if all those things hadn’t happened then her life would have been soooooo much better!

The only good chapter I felt was the one about work. This one actually felt like she and the others she’d spoken to had been grateful of failing and learnt ‘how to fail’ and take away positive things from their failures

[Laura Neale · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book specifically due to a period which felt like one thing after another was going wrong and I needed some encouragement and a pick me up and oh my gosh, what a book! It was exactly what I needed especially in the audiobook format, which the author narrates, as it felt like Elizabeth and I were having a chat over a coffee each time I pressed play.

Although I couldn’t relate to every chapter (I’ve never been married or had children etc) there were so many amazing quotes and sections that really spoke to me in areas such as sport, work, relationships, friends, family and study, that it almost felt like Elizabeth has written this book for me personally. Would highly recommend to anyone who has ever failed (ie everyone!)

[Karina Webster · Rating 4 out of 5]

i listened to this one on audio and i really recommend. Very interesting & hugely relatable although extremely heartbreaking at times. Day talks about and describes parts of the female experience that just don’t get talked about enough & i really appreciated it. Will be listening to her podcasts asap!

[Rachel Buckley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish this book had been out 10 years ago

[Ros · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very enjoyable and insightful book which gave me constant opportunities to think about my own fails and successes but also many laugh out loud moments due to the many cultural references which I could relate to so much.