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How to Date Men When You Hate Men

3.61  ·  Rating details ·  181 ratings  ·  39 reviews

From New Yorker and Onion writer and comedian Blythe Roberson, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a comedy philosophy book aimed at interrogating what it means to date men within the trappings of modern society. Blythe Roberson’s sharp observational humor is met by her open-hearted willingness to revel in the ugliest warts and shimmering highs of choosing to live our liv

Kindle Edition, 288 pages
Published January 8th 2019 by Flatiron Books
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Dec 22, 2018 marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
all 2019 releases are cancelled because THIS IS A MOOD

also thumbs up to all those wise people out there who have decided to only like girls, I'm, like, so jealous
Dec 10, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: firstreads, humor
I won this book in a goodreads drawing.

A writer for the Stephen Colbert Show writes a parody of a dating manual. If one is a fan of Colbert they might like it. The author herself doesn't seem to know much about dating, or about anything else, really, except for PC talking points.

The funniest part is that the author doesn't see the irony inherent in an Ivy Leaguer telling other people to check their privilege.
Jan 08, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
2.5 stars.

This wasn't bad, it just wasn't for me.

I went in expecting a funny feminist analysis of modern dating. This read MUCH more like a mix between memoir and self-help. Again, that's not BAD, it's just not my jam.

It didn't help that my own dating experiences (and just general opinions about romance and dating) differ wildly from Roberson's.

I would have liked a more in-depth look at how Roberson's experiences reflect greater problems in society. I agree with Roberson's assertion that wom
Jan 10, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bb-2019, pc
This book didn’t change my life, but it made feel a hell of a lot better about it. I certainly check most of the boxes in terms of target audience, so this probably won't apply to all readers, but I feel like rather than read a strangers book, I just hung out with a really cool friend-of-a-friend for an extended period of time. Though perhaps a more appropriate title would be “why it’s really frustrating but also sometimes exhilarating and definitely exhausting to try and mostly fail to date men ...more
Amanda Morgan
Nov 14, 2018 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: first-reads
Pretty disappointed in this book. I was under the impression it was supposed to be funny.

This is a tale of the 27-year-old author's meager dating life. I say meager, because the author believes she has never actually dated anybody. She occasionally talks about how she's "boned" and "boinked" numerous men.

Everyone else falls under categories such as "crushes," "boys she kisses," or "friends," which leads me to believe the author is actually a 12-year-old girl, since that's how my pre-teen daught
Stephanie Krois
Nov 22, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I received an ARC of this book from a Goodreads giveaway.

First, let me say that this book is not about hating men. It chronicles the authors experiences dating while giving commentary on societal expectations placed on men and women. I found myself laughing out loud for a good chunk of the book, and some of the passages sound just like conversations I’ve had myself with my friends. It’s a little unorganized at times, but overall it was an enjoyable read. I think what I liked most was her love fo
Sinead  S
Oct 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
How to Date Men When You Hate Men is one of the funniest books I’ve read in a long time. Blythe Roberson does a fantastic job describing the universal frustration with dating and finding “the one.” If you are a female identified person who happens to have dated, currently dates, or wants to date men, there’s something in this book for you. If you are none of those things there is probably still something in this book for you.
Particular topics of interest:
-Is this actually a date?
-Years long cru
Tabi Card
Jan 05, 2019 marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
what a brilliant title
Natasha Goel
Jan 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
K not to be dramatic but this is the single most important book I’ve ever read/will ever read?🤷♀ ...more
I received an ARC from the publisher through Goodreads Giveaways.

First of all, this is the perfect title to read visibly on the subway, and that's probably a good enough reason to pick it up. Roberson writes in a conversational tone with frequent laugh-out-loud-level-funny bits. There might not offer any new or life-changing insights, but hey, it always feels better to be able to laugh with someone about the way things are and why. Definitely will be passing this one along to my friends!
Jan 14, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
3.5 stars

Rounded up because mathematical reasons and Reasons.

If you're the kind of person who reads the title and gets offended, you should probably read this book — but we all know you won't. How to Date Men When You Hate Men is NOT about hating men, but it's about dating men when you live in a patriarchal society that teaches men to mistreat and look down upon women. Even the most "woke" men are prey to this: they benefit from a society that women do not, and so this book is a perspective of w
Donna Hines
Aug 29, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: netgalley, arc
"How To Date Men When You Hate Men is an incredibly funny read that was surely not written when Blythe was supposed to be working for me." - Stephen Colbert
This above statement sums it all up.
It's a funny, lighthearted, breath of fresh air for anyone who finds themselves questioning life, love, dating, romance, and everything in between.
All the traps, pitfalls, pressures to perform and achieve are included at no extra costs to the readers.
Marriage as a validation of worth. Single hood as stardom
Diane (Books and Tequila Blog)
Jan 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 4-stars, netgalley
How To Date Men When You Hate Men is very entertaining. It is not a dating how to, but more observations on relationships. The story just rolled along, pulling me in with the author’s very dry humor which I thoroughly enjoyed.

“This makes it seem like I suck at introductions, which I emphatically DO NOT! I am very proud of being, like, okay at introductions, and I plan to slowly improve over the next twenty to seven hundred years.”

I do think that as an older person I am not quite the target aud
Yvonne Olson
This book was... weird.
I thought the title was funny and I wanted to read something that's completely different from what I've been reading. It's shown up all over my social media and it piqued my interest.
I also just listened to every episode of Nicole Byar's podcast "Why Won't You Date Me?" so I was in the mood for some feminist dating stories.
That's basically what this is.
It's very feminist, and it's the author telling you about all the ways she didn't realize she was on a date and every time
Nov 14, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: arc
I received this ARC from Flatiron books and Goodreads for my honest review.

How to Date Men when You Hate Men is one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. It is a quick easy read. I found myself identifying with the author and the pitfalls of being single. There were plenty of laugh out loud moments where you find yourself nodding along to what she is saying. I recommend this book no matter what your dating status is, you will find yourself laughing along.
Helena Joseph
Oct 11, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Blythe Roberson's How to date Men when you hate Men was such a funny read. The title alone was eye-catching, and at the moment I am going through a breakup and trying to date in the new landscape of NYC; so I really related to this book. The way it was written was different than the usual fantasy fiction I indulge in because it felt as though the author was speaking to me as a friend, rather than a reader. The way I can describe it is as if I have been drinking coffee, and having this conversati ...more
Thelonia Saunders
Oct 11, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: arcs
me at the first section: I'M SEEN!!!
me at everything else: oh no baby what is you doing???
This was a smart, insightful book and resonated deeply with me and my own experiences of dating men. I didn't quite like the writing style all that much. For the first half of the book I found it quite difficult to figure out when she was joking. I then imagined it being read out as stand-up comedy and had no difficulty after that. I think the book would have been better for me if it didn't read like a collection of standup scripts. She's really funny but I think the constant levity undercuts he ...more
Morgan Kail-Ackerman
I really enjoyed this “comedy philosophy”. Blythe is hilarious and adorable and now I’d love to see her improv. The book was an interesting view of how 21st century women are impacted through dating, romance, and what society tells us should be “correct”. While I read the book, I was intrigued, smiling, and interested. However, trying to look back at the book, I honestly don’t remember a lot about what it said. So as much as I enjoyed it, I probably won’t remember it or ever go back and read it. ...more
Courtney Whited
Jan 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I was going to make a Jane Austen reference. But that's a lot of work.

If all funny books written by comedians were ranked by now much they made you want to go into stand-up, Roberson's book would be at the top. Catch me next week at open mics throughout Oklahoma attempting to make jokes about this very topic. To the straight white cisgendered men who've asked me to do emotional labor for them these past 23 years, I'll consider us even (or at least give you a 10% off coupon) if you buy and actua
Ali Hinchcliffe
Oct 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
After reading Blythe’s hilarious & relatable book, I guarantee you will want to get brunch with her and talk about 1) men (specifically Harry Styles) 2) Riverdale 3) S5 Ep5 of SATC which is mentioned more than once in this book, among MANY other things. Moral of the story is that you’ll want to be her BFF and pass this book along to all of your friends, so do yourself a favor and read it. Especially if you’re a man.
Jan 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Get out of my brain, Blythe Roberson. (If you’re reading this, Ben Whishaw is EXACTLY who should have been cast as young Dumbledore.) This was hilarious and like, so zeitgeist-y. If you’re a single millennial, get on it (but also if you just can’t with the experiences of white 20-something women living in Brooklyn, maybe pass?)
Oct 15, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I can't decide if I liked this book most when at its most hilarious ("Not every single one of my thoughts/tweets/breaths/farts is like, Mediated Through My Gender Identity) or its most poignant ("Analyzing why these men don't love you is beneath you"). Roberson's writing was so funny and unabashedly honest. This will definitely be a book that I recommend to all my clever, badass feminist friends.
I hate to say this, but I found How to Date Men When You Hate Men kinda m-e-h. While I can appreciate Blythe's attempts at humor AND pointing out how women are regularly subjugated, the overall tone falls flat. This book just isn't what I expected.
L.H. Brown
I wasn't even done with the introduction before I started thinking, "Where has this book been all of my life!" 2019 has just started, and already I know this will be one of my favorite books of the year. Blythe keeps it real.
3.5. A comedic and digestible look at the way romance rules our lives. Happy to see the diversity of sources it references (A Lover's Discourse, I Love Dick, Sex and the City) but it's a little 101, which is fine!
The title of this book is a little deceiving. Definitely not philosophical and not a “how to”...more of a memoir that is filled with personal stories about the authors dating life. Somewhat cynical and funny.
Jackie Rochester
This book was okay! I was expecting something completely different. I’m not sure I learned anything, and was expecting lots of stories about dating disasters. I found the whole thing a bit vague, but not a terrible read by any means.
Jan 15, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019
DNF at ~120, but frankly should’ve stopped earlier. The title? Incredible. And yet, this book gave no genuinely interesting advice and read like the erratic rants of someone who is not funny and has no experience in any subject related to dating.
Jan 10, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book didn’t have as much how-to advice as you’d expect from a book with “how to” in the title, but it was still funny and is basically my autobiography.
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Blythe Roberson is a writer and comedian whose work has been published by the New Yorker, The Onion, ClickHole, VICE Magazine, and others, and has been mentioned by the New York Times, the Washington Post, and New York Mag. She works as a researcher at The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.