Critical Failures V

Caverns and Creatures #5

by Robert Bevan, Joan Reginaldo (Editor)

Many view "hitting rock bottom" as foundation on which to rebuild one's life, a place from which one can only ascend. Gamers know to search for a secret door leading down to the sewer.

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Audiobook, Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Fiction, Magic

348 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 12, 2017

Reviews

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Critical Failures V by Robert Bevan is a zany, witty, and sometimes obscene (but hilarious) book about people trapped in a game as their characters. I almost have up on the series after the last book because it really was off course but took a chance. This was back on track mostly but not near as funny as the first three books. I would have given it 4 stars but this one just stopped! So I took off a star for that.
One thing that stays consistent is the awesome narration! Great job!

[Bram · Rating 2 out of 5]

Part 5 in the potty-mouth rollercoaster that is Caverns and Creatures, where our ragtag gang continues trying to get back to the real world.

Story wise this is one of the lesser installments. There is, at the same time, a lot going on, with characters going from one adventure to the next, and nothing going on, in terms of the overal story progressing. I kind of got the feeling halfway that this book was going exactly nowhere, and that is exactly where it ended up.

I did enjoy getting to know the side characters more, and reading less of Tim's constant whining, Randy and Denise especially are hillarious again. But I got into this book with the expectation that it would be the conclusion to the story, only to find out there is one more book after this and that this story ends on a massive cliffhanger. This makes the dissapointment I felt when I finished even more noticeable.

2.5 stars, for an ok book.

[Swords & Spectres · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Critical Failures series is certainly not for everybody. Its full to the brim with college humour, insults (literally every kind of insult you could imagine and various you couldn't), dick jokes, crass behaviour and, if you're the type of person that gets offended by any form of humour/language that is even the slightest bit unsavoury ... then this one certainly isn't for you.

It is, however, pure, unadulterated, mindless (yet clever as well) fun. As you can probably guess from the D20 on the cover, this is set in a D&D style world (magic dice sucked the players into the game and turned them into their characters.

This series features a hilarious cast of characters that seems to be added to more and more as the books progress, including a half orc that is so un-charismatic that he has no control over his bodily functions. A misunderstood sex offender that's discovered Jesus and a rapey policeman that's been turned into a female dwarf hellbent on humping anything that moves.

Following on from the events of book four, the characters split apart from the main group and, unknowingly, work by themselves to get to the same place as everyone else.

The underlying plot of trying to get their hands on the magical dice in order to transport them all home is ever-present and tantalisingly out of reach for our would be heroes.

I've seen a lot of reviews for this complaining that it 'just stops'. Personally, I feel it stops at a point that sets the next book up wonderfully. Anyone who expected a complete finish needs to have the concept of an ongoing series explained to them.

There's a lot of misery in the world right now so it was great to be able to crack open a book that would make me laugh out loud. That is something this series excels at. No other book/series has had me laughing half as much as this one.
I look forward to diving back into Robert Bevan's world of stupid fun.

[Shaun · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may be the only series of books I've read that has gotten better as it's progressed. I remember thinking that the first book was funny enough and I'd probably get around to reading the second book at some point. Book 5 was hilarious. I laughed out loud several times. I was so eager to read book 5 that, unlike with the previous books, I didn't even wait for the audiobook version to be released. I actually read the Kindle version.

The ending.... if I didn't think Robert Bevan was going to write a book 6, I would totally go Annie Wilkes on his dirty birdy butt! But the character we lost at the end will be back. Even if the Pillsbury Dough-Christ has to make a second coming to do it.

[Walter Pavlik · Rating 4 out of 5]

#4 was hard to follow... (It was AMAZING) This is good though

This is like Empire Strikes Back. The party is not all together for the story. Bevan's humor is on point, but he is having to build up the boiling point for all of us (again).
If you are a fan of the series, you will enjoy this, but might feel the ending arrives too soon.

But...
Spoilers ahead...
.
.
.
Cooper's character growth, especially his new Companion is fun and hopefully will help and not just be Mordred effing with him.

Tim's not figured out yet that he needs to grow the hell up... (I hope he gets to)

If you haven't read Critical Failures 1-4, you need to.
Then read this one.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Give him your money

Robert Bevan's glorious series continues. Find out what happens next to Tim, Julian, Katherine and the rest of the gang. Buy it, read it, and laugh your ass off.

[James P Bishop · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow

The book was great. Was a good time reading it. Definitely some twists and turns, I am definitely wanting more.

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robert Bevan is someone I’ve been reading for a long time now, getting into his books a few years back and reading them all multiple times. His latest book in the series, Critical Failures V, has left me a little on the fence.

While each book in the series so far has followed the standard formula of problem at start -> solved at end + new cliff-hanger (introduced to keep you wanting the next one), this one meandered along without much urgency and ended without any real satisfaction.

In this one, the expanding cast of unique characters has been split into multiple groups as they set out to find Tim who they believe is trying to abandon them all in the game. The splitting of the party was something I particularly enjoyed as it allowed some lesser characters the chance to shine on their own, giving us a chance to get to know them better.

Mister Bevan does a great job at pulling together all the divergent paths the characters have taken by the end, but this is where it fell down for me. I looked at the progress bar on my Kindle and thought it must have been malfunctioning. It said 99% and I felt that the climax of the book was about to kick into gear, but instead I was left with a cliff-hanger ending without any real feeling of satisfaction.

I would have gladly waited another 6 months or a year or more to have this storyline play out to a more satisfactory conclusion. As it is, it feels like I only read half a book, and for a book that’s close to 100,000 words, it felt kind of short.

Will I keep reading the series? You bet. I’m a huge fan of this universe and all the characters that make it what it is… just this one missed the mark a little for me. Was it as funny as previous books? I didn’t think so. It still gave me a chuckle here and there, but nothing that made me drop my Kindle and make my wife worry about my sanity, like in previous books.

There was some interesting character growth along the way. Cooper and his sentient axe whispering into his mind should prove interesting in future adventures, and a blossoming, unexpected relationship between a character and an NPC (I won’t say who so not to spoil anything).

TL;DR Version
A good addition to the universe without really moving anything forward.

[Tracey Kunkel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book in the Critical Failures series. As always very funny (mostly crude humor). Much better than Book 4. A must for die hard D&D players. Not happy with the ending, but it's a cliff hanger as usual.

[Jaro Markus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Less entertaining than previous

Compared to previous volumes I did not give a lot of giggles. Story is non-existent and we did not learn anything new around main story. It has lost its novelty on me and it felt like this was written mainly to continue what seemed to be very refreshing concept at the beginning but like author is not really sure what to do with this success. Does he try to continue to be hilarious (but maybe he ran out of good dick jokes already) or try to build on interesting and engaging story (which does not seem to be his forte here).. It is still decent read but main story did not evolve at all and ended in such artificial cliffhanger of that type that usually kills my further interest. I just wish that author would find out what he needs to do to ensure success of his stories. Last volume of this series was not move in right direction. Good luck Robert.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

I still enjoy all the characters and especially that the wolf is called Butterbean. However, this installment reads like there is a stand-in Cavern Master calling the shots and he doesn't have a firm grasp on the characters or the plot. Therefore, the characters become little more than puking, pooping, screwing, stabbing idiots with an incredibly vague adventure and barely any reason to be on it. Meh. I still love the first couple of books but the spark seems to have fizzled out in a pool of Cooper's piss.

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’d give this 3.5 stars as he cut down on the penis jokes and focused more on the story. Or maybe it was because we no longer had to listen to Tim’s incessant whining (I’d give a whole star for the greatly increased lack of Tim in this book.). But it feels like Bevan’s just dragging out the story so he can write more books. It’d be nice to have him wrap up His original plot and just set them on a new adventure. The continuation of the same story does give it a rpg feel but as a reader it feels a bit like a money grab.

[Travis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Certainly an amusing addition to the series. I'm wondering when the author will finally give up on some of the some of the childish antics his crew gets up to since book #1, but I'm not holding out much hope for it. There are certainly laugh out loud moments in this one, but there's equally just as many, "Again, really?" moments as well, but overall, it was a decent read, and if you've read the previous books, you'll probably find this one amusing enough to continue with the series, even if it's beginning to wear on you with the constant eye rolling you'll engage in while reading.

[Ross Alon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always remember. Tim is the worst. The book is fun

[Tory Thai · Rating 4 out of 5]

So this takes place directly after the previous book and like literally nothing much happens with the overarching plot.

I feel like they all barely moved an inch with the narrative and there really wasn't a particularly good subplot to distract from the lack of movement in the plot.

Despite that though, i still had fun. This author is such a great writer with his continued commitment to be silly, dark, absurd and crude humor backed with amazing descriptive writing that fleshes out everything so well that you feel like you're watching a movie in your mind.

Honestly I just think it's so cool that there is an author with the ability to deliver such amazing details to back up the absurdity of what's going on.

This continues to be incredibly offensive book but obviously it's joking around and using that same humor you fall into when playing games with close friends.

I continue to love this series and the dependable laughs it delivers. I however still wish more would happen with the plot or maybe a side quest/subplot can happen to make things more compelling. Currently I feel like I'm just on standby waiting for the next joke constantly.

Jumping into the next book after this for sure.

The narrator for this audiobook version is also the most amazing narrator I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. I honestly think the joke delivery 80% relies on this narrator who just does a perfect job with breathing life into the characters and using the proper acting chops to deliver these jokes.

[Vincent Wood · Rating 3 out of 5]

When reading a book, have you ever wondered when the characters might have an opportunity to answer a call to nature. In this book, and often in this series, you do not need to wonder. The author tells you, often in great detail.

Typically in a book, key moments of a plot are what fills the pages. So we might experience a meal situation since meals tend to be social situations full of dramatic tension or the lack of food can create even more tension. In a travel, the characters might come across a situation that will further the plot.

Since this series in general relies heavily on bathroom humor, calls to nature often contain integral and important moments in the plot. Perhaps I am getting burned out from this humor after five books and a numerous number of short stories, but I found myself getting tired and perhaps rather annoyed when yet another chapter revolves around a character making a pit stop.

Now this is not the only humor to be found in this book. The author also uses running gags and making fun of the rules of Dungeons and Dragons compared to how things work in the real world to earn his laughs. I did earn a few strange looks from others from my laughing while I read this book in the lobby of a dentist office or while enjoying a meal at Arby's.

I did enjoy this book though and I probably will read more from the author, but I admit I likely will be taking his immature, low-brow humor in smaller doses.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

At this point in the series, if you've made it to book 5, you probably already enjoy the characters, the writing style, and the type of humor in Bevan's Critical Failures books. So let me say that on that level, it's just as good as always.

The reason I'm not giving this one a five star review is pacing. This book is slow and unhurried in the beginning, but by the end, it rushes, skips steps, and ends abruptly. (And I expected a cliff hanger, that's not what I'm talking about.) For example, in the beginning, we see one moment through several different view points and steps in time. We see characters encounter a creature and fly on. Later, we see a character destroy that same creature and move on. And later again, we see other characters come upon its corpse, speculate about it, and move on. It was quite humorous and humorously done. But it did take time and planning that was absent by the end of the book. In the last chapters, we're left to fill in gaps between scenes and make assumptions about what and why characters were doing what they were doing. If the creature scene had been written later, well. There would have been no creature.

So, purely in terms of pacing, this was a bit of a disappointment. In terms of vivid characters and off-color and geeky humor, it was still 100% worth the time and money.

[Crasskal · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a big fan of this series, I have to say that this book was a disappointment. Book #4 left things very serious and grim, with a lot of issues that need resolving. So it was disheartening that this book failed to seriously address any of them. Seriously, a 9 hour audio book and nothing has improved for our characters.
If you're a fan of the characters in these books, I warn you not to get excited. The classic party of four never regroup once throughout the story. Some characters are written out of most of the story, like Tim, while others are barely mentioned, like Dave. The characters that receive most of the attention are the new ones introduced in the last book. Randy and Denise get their own story completely unrelated to everything else occurring. Catherine is largely on her own most the time, though her portions are the most entertaining ones of the book. And the rest of the time is devoted to Julian and Stacy.
And Stacy is a big problem for this series. She had perfect stats in all the skills, so she is flawless in terms of a game character. Rather than the party members each using their specific skills to get them through challenges, we have Stacy who can do anything and everything. In a series called 'Critical Failures' and character who is too competent is unnecessary.

[Spike Porter · Rating 1 out of 5]

I purchased the first 7 books on sale thinking this would be a good series and I was wrong. These books are laden with homophobic, sexist, racist, and masterbutory comments. While I understand the characters are from Mississippi, there is no joke here, it's just goes over the line...constantly. The overall concept of the story is excellent but the execution is horrible. The author writes like a 14 year old boy. Character development might be the worst thing of this series next to the racism. None of the characters have any redeeming value, you honestly don't like any of them. You can connect with them because they're just a bunch of morons which removes any vision of realism. Tim is a drunken ass how treats everyone like garbage, Cooper, Julian, Tony the Elf, Frank, Cat, Stacy... well, no need to name them all, they're horrible.

There is no escape for this series. You can not lose yourself because you keep getting annoyed by the piss poor writing and crappy characters. I paid for these books so I decided to listen to all of them, hoping they would get better... but they don't. They actually get worse over time.

[Gilbert Stack · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s been nearly two years since I read one of the main books in the series and I found that I had completely forgotten about a lot of the characters. That’s okay. Most of them refreshed in my memory quickly and those that didn’t fill a certain niche in the story that helps the reader reestablish them.

Tim the halfling rogue is still causing trouble as is his non-gamer sister who got suckered into this world by Mordred the Cavern Master in book one. Nobody likes Tim because he’s basically a jerk. There is a hilarious line in the story in which one of the characters tells one of Tim’s friends that Tim is the Everest of Jerks and that the rest of his friends are the Himalayas of jerks. That fits. Tim really isn’t likeable whereas the rest of the group is just seriously immature.

The plot revolves around the growing cast searching for Tim whom they mistakenly believe stole the magic dice that everyone thinks are the key to getting them back to our world. As we have come to expect, Bevan packs every chapter with sophomoric humor and low-level D&D style magic and combat. It’s a fun book.

[Jay · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book does not match the humor of the first three books in this series. I had to force myself to finish book five. The quality of the writing and humor has declined dramatically since book 3. I consider Critical Failures 1-3 the funniest fantasy novels ever published. However, Critical Failures V is painfully bad. There is too much character creep. Bevan seems so focused on prolonging the series that irrelevant details/characters now dominant. In this book there is little mention of Tim and Mordred. But there is a prolonged sequence on Randy and Dennis wandering the desert. (Who really cares about Dennis?). Interestingly, the men in the story have all become bumbling idiots. The women are smarter and stronger---so that is a positive. However, if you wanted to hear more about Tim, Cooper, Dave and Julien--you're out of luck. Further, the plot is so convoluted that the reader just stops caring about what happens to the characters. I would view the positive reviews with extreme suspicion.

[Hank · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book I feel, is significantly darker and more disturbing than the previous four. Without spoiling the ending too much, I can say that unlike the others, this book ends without a lot of subplots being tied up and resolved in a satisfying fashion. Book five feels a lot like book five, part one. This dark episode in the series, seems to almost step the Critical Failures series outside of the comedy genre. Sure there is still plenty of grotesque and disgusting gags and wholesale perversion, but the book deals with subjects like date rape, mass murder, animal cruelty, and racism in an uncomfortably jocular way. In this book, it's as though the entire plot gets flipped upside down. The once virtuous and strong characters begin acting unethical and foolish, and once obnoxious characters begin acting heroically. I look forward to reading the next book, but I hope it's not nearly as depressing as this one.

[Gregg · Rating 3 out of 5]

With our heroes spread to the four corners of the realm, Bevan flexes his storytelling muscles and layers on a bit of race-related commentary amidst the poopy jokes. Plenty of one-liners abound, especially from Denise, the previous pedophile cop turned dwarf female. Apparently she’s a nymphomaniac to boot; here, she prepares to get railed by a couple of scorpion/human warriors in the middle of the desert:

Denise rubbed her palms together. “All right! So how we gonna do this? One at a time? Rotisserie style? If Randy wants in we can do it like one of his goofy proverbs. How about it, Randy? One in the hand and two in the bush.”

“Please, Denise,” pleaded Randy. “Just let them eat me.”

“Uh uh, my friend. Tonight’s menu is pulled pork and tender loins.”

Cue the snare drum.

[Errrrrrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you've read books 1-4 in the series (and you need to in order to have any idea of what's going on) you know what you're in for. It's probably better written than most of the others, with some real character development and stakes involved.

Where it fails a little in comparison to the others is that the party is split up, so it's a lot of separate plot threads instead of a single narrative. This does give us the opportunity to spend some time with some secondary characters, and that's a lot of fun, but by the end it feels like the whole book was spent trying to get the gang back together again. Still a lot of fun, just not quite as good as the others.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Summary for my Memory:

Another shit stained adventure!

I must admit that this book was ok, but not as great as the first 2.
I did laugh out loud and grined quite alot, but then again, I'm immature.

The party has split up, Tim is a hunted man by the whore's head in.
He is supported by his sister and a shady Drow that manage to steal the magic dice.
Cooper, Julian and Dave all search for Tim to get the Dice back and thus get a way to return to Earth.

But as usual, shit hits the fan.
Dave's part in this book is beyond minimal. Cooper is his usual self.
The book has a few to many character, which i have trouble keeping track of.
Oh, and Tim gets nom nomed at.

[Ruby Ridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

i took a chance on reading the first book in this series and am sooooo glad I did, this has become on of my favorite D&D series of all time.
Where to start? The author has dome an absolutely fantastic job of developing Katherine from a bit player in #1 to my favorite character, she deserves her own book, no make that a trilogy.
The rest of the cast keep me alternately glued to my Kindle in anticipation or laughing out loud (and it takes a good joke to do that to me)
Slight downer is Denise, she pisses me but even she has her moments.
Already got #6, an Arbys sandwich and a couple of bottles of stonepiss (well a few beers anyway) and am so looking forward to the next few days.

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was loving this series until the plot got lost in all the fart, poop, and sex junk (and trust me, I love a good fart joke, poop joke, and unfortunate sexploit... but it needs to be well written). Almost nothing remotely important happened in this book. It's become clear the author is just dragging out the overall story in an attempt to make a cash grab by selling more badly written books. The first 2-3 books were actually well written and a lot of fun! The fourth got muddy and there were too many characters to follow split off in too many directions. The fifth tanked. I doubt it gets any better. I don't even care if these idiots get home. I hope Mordred wins.

[Oron · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.
I really enjoy this series, and recently started listening to the Authors and Dragons podast in which Robert Baven is one of the awesome cast (do that! it will render you commutes much more enjoyable).
This entry in the series, though, took some time to start working for me. The start was a bit slow and something just didn't click for me or was as smooth as I got used to. But somewhere around half way through it got much better, interesting and err..page turnerish.
Will definitely keep reading as this world keeps getting deeper and (most of) the characters are maturing and getting developed.
On to the next one!

[Tomcat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant!

An advise, try not to read it in public. People will look at you as you are unable to stop laughing, the jokes and puns are great, I hadn't laugh so much reading a book in a long time. The characters are well developed, and in this book we got the addition of several new characters, and some old ones gets developed further. The story is brilliant, with twist and interconections very well written. The creativity of the characters using the bag of holdings and decanter of endless water is just awesome, in fact, never start an adventure without a bag of holding.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Caverns & Creatures adventures continue in this absurd & raunchy romp through a "LitRPG" series in which players have magically become trapped in the game world. They are continuing to quest to find an avatar of "Mordred," the Cavern Master who trapped them in this world and may be their only chance to get home. This one involves a quest to a place called the Fertile Desert, a Jack-and-the-Beanstalk-style escapade with a magically levitating island in the form of a crescent that drifts over the desert . . .