What an amazing fast read book! I admire people for writing their thoughts, resentments and gratitude on paper. Just venting releases a lot of tension! This book has the most hilarious, heartbreaking, cute and unique letters that I have ever read This book has all the possible feels in it. It is so touching, so beautiful, so honest. I've even cried sometimes because those letters tell a story. And I've cried because it was sad, or because it was so beautiful. This is a book full of emotions and life lessons, and I recommend it to every human being.
Here are some of my favorite letters from the book:
From the "Dear Me"section:
1. Dear 17 year old self,
You are beautiful. Remember that. Soon, all too soon, there will be people who tell you otherwise. So, when all the spectators go home, find a mirror. Look at all the parts of you that you hide beneath layers of self hate. Find the beauty in the fat, in the freckles, in the discolorations, in the acne, in the scars, in all the things that make you cringe. It will make life so much easier to handle.
2. *This has to be my favorite letter of the book. I am absolutely in love with it, and I can relate more than anything else.
Dear Brave People,
I realize that it appears that I'm fearless. I can make that presentation with ease; I can stand on the edge of a cliff and look down, and I can befriend that spider in the bathroom (He's called Christopher). But recently, I've realized that's not what makes people brave. Brave has a different meaning. I'm afraid of people leaving. After I watched my best friend become someone else's and was forced into befriending my childhood bully, I realized I don't want to let myself go through this again. I see my fear come through when questioning my boyfriend's affections. I see it when I distance myself from my friends leaving for university. I see it in my overanalysis off my parents' relationship and paranoia over a possible divorce. I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid of failure. I aced my exams and the bar has been moved up again. I have those high expectations along with everyone else, but I know now that maybe the tower is just too tall and I should've built stronger foundations. I act like I know what I'm doing, but really I'm drifting away from shore faster and faster. I don't want to let anyone down. I'm afraid of change. I don't know where I lie anymore. I thought I knew what to do in my future, but now I can't bear to think that now I'm not so sure. I thought I was completely straight, but now it's internal agony as I'm not so sure. I don't want my life to not be the way I expected. I may not be afraid of crowds. Or small spaces. Or the dark. But I am afraid. I am afraid of responsibility, of not living up to expectations, of growing up, of the changing future. I am afraid of not knowing, sex, relationships, secrets, lies, honesty, curiosity, losing, pressure, judgement, and differences. I am afraid of me. Yet, despite this, I know I am brave. I know I am brave because I have accepted my invisible fears and haven't let them overcome me. I want you to know that you're brave because you know your fears. You're brave because you introduced yourself. You're brave because you said "No, I don't understand.". You're brave because you're here.
From the "Dear World" Section:
3. Dear whoever is reading this,
I wish I could find a way to take all your sadness away and replace it with happiness. I can't. But I can try. You are worth it. You have entire galaxies within you, and an entire life ahead of you. You will do so much and meet so many more people. Keep going. Things will get hard. But they will also get better. Keep smiling. It's okay to cry every once in a while. It's okay to spend time alone. But it's important to keep going.
4. Dear You,
Yes, you. The person reading this right now. If you're anything like me, sometimes you might feel like you don't matter. Like you're completely ordinary,unremarkable, boring, invisible. Like if you disappeared, no one would notice. Don't. Don't feel that way. You are extraordinary. You are remarkable. You are interesting. You are dazzling. Your presence is noticed and appreciated. You are moonbeams and starlight, a sugar rush, the sound of laughter like bells. You are a soft breeze on a sweltering summer day, the wonder of a year's first snow, and the magic of a million smiling faces. You mean something to someone out there. You mean everything to someone right here. You are important, and the footprints you leave in this world make a difference. Even though you might not always realize it, you are wonderful. You matter. And I'm happy you exist.
5. *This is my second fav, even if it makes me uncontrollably sob.
Dear Someone,
Whoever you are, whoever the fates had possibly decided to pair me up with for my end-all of loves, I'm so sorry. I wish I could promise we'd meet someday, that we'd love someday, but I can't. I really want to, though. I want to take naps with you, and watch movies with you, and annoy you with how slowly I grocery shop because I can't decide which brand of detergent is better. I want you to run your hands through my hair and scratch my back when I'm lazy. I want to smile at you awkwardly when my mother inevitably embarrasses me at dinner. I want to apologize for making a weird dying groaning sound in my sleep. I want to apologize for being a couple of degrees warmer than the average person.I want to argue over something stupid (but actually very important) like superhero characters and powers. I want to pretend to be annoyed by your morning breath or stinky feet. I want to draw you (maybe sometimes on you) when you sleep. I want to write stories about us. I want to share songs I heard and liked with you. I want to share a bag of chips with you. I want to get food poisoning with you. I want to baby you (or tolerate your need for being babied) when you catch a cold. I want to rub your stomach when you get indigestion. I want to see your look of exasperation when I trip and hurt myself because sometimes I'm the clumsiest person you'll ever meet. I want you to deal with my crybaby self because I will always cry when a sad scene shows up in a movie. (Guess who's crying right now?) I want to hear you tell me I don't need makeup, even if you're just saying it because I'm taking too long to get ready. I want to hear it even if I don't believe it. I want to hear it even though I'll reply it doesn't matter because I wear makeup for me. I want to show you the kind of person I am at my worst, the kind of person I'm afraid to show to anyone else. I want you to do the same. I want to have trust and faith in each other. I want to apologize for always telling people that I don't believe in relationships. I want to apologize for pretending to be unaffected by this. I want to apologize, even though I'll never be able to say it to your face. I want it so much. I want to not have to write this letter because I'm dying and I'll probably never meet you, or just reject you even if I did. I'm sorry if I already met you and just pushed you away. More than anything, I want you yo be happy, so much happier than I ever would have tried to make you. I'm sorry we'll never have this, but I really don't have much longer. I'm just so sorry. I would have given you the world.
From the "Love" Section:
6. M,
I love you like Deadpool loves Batman. He doesn't. But even if he did, they're from completely different universes.
7. H,
They say that your first love hurts the most. But I disagree. I think the second love hurts much more. Second loves are the ones to show you that love still exists. After losing a first love, the world seems hopeless and bleak; you're convinced that you'll never love another person "like that" ever again. But then second loves waltz into your life and trace your scars with kisses. A world you once considered dull brightens and beautifies when they look into your eyes. Even after being so hurt, even after losing your innocence, second loves do the impossible: they make you believe in love again. You hesitatingly open yourselves up to them. You tell them all your dreams and fears. You dare to hope that love isn't a one time time after all. So when you lose your second love, you start to wonder if you lost your second chance. I fell for you when I never thought I'd fall again.
8. L,
I know shit's hard right now. I know you feel alone, and I know you miss her like hell. But, friend, I am never, ever giving up on you. You mean so much to me. If you don't think you can make it through the night, I want you to call me. I'll try my best to help you through. I love you. You are so important to everyone here. I can't wait for the way that you realize that.
9. To the one who will love him next,
He gets frustrated when he gets a bad mark on a maths test. Don't do anything but sit there with him in silence, because you will only irritate him further if you try to comfort him. He's stubborn like that. Let him share his music with you. In fact, initiate a conversation about the tunes he listens to when he isn't talking to you on the phone. I promise you won't like everything he shows you, but I do promise that humoring him is bound to make your skin heat because that smile that graces his face is worth the occasional bad song. Call him. Don't text him. Listening to him laugh at your poor jokes will make your week. When he starts to complain about his mother or the man she married only months after divorcing his father, hug him even if he says he's fine. He's not fine. Dr. Pepper is his favorite, never get him Mr. Pibb instead. Allow him to cuddle and spoil you, because his overactive mind takes him to places of doubt and insecurity if you don't. Love him with everything you have, I implore you to do so. He is a free spirit that will be gone before your eyes if you allow him to, and there's nothing more destroying than realizing all you have left of him are memories and the smell of his scent on articles of your clothing. He's a force to be reckoned with. Admire him, treasure him, love him.
From the "Heartbreak" Section:
10. Dear K,
I know the world's not over. But mine sure as hell feels like it. Your words knocked the wind out of me and I don't know if I'll ever be able to breathe again. How do I put my pieces back together when you were my glue?
11. Dear Casey,
Oftentimes heartache is associated with midnight, romanticizing the idea that the loss is unbearable enough to keep you awake at night. But loss is not solemnly accompanied by insomnia. Because it's 11:50 a.m and I'm sitting in the back of my history class unable to cope with the lesson, let alone write it down, because all of my thoughts stink of you and scream out your name in aching need to be bled onto paper. Because my fingers are frostbitten and I all I can think about is the air of New York, and is this how it feels for you when you leave the warmth of your home and venture into the cold January air. Because it's 12:00 p.m., and my day is drenched in you. Because you're nowhere and everywhere. Because I can sleep, but I'd rather not because I hate dreaming of you, and waking up to the reality that you're not here. Because it's 12:05 p.m., and I miss you.
12. Dear L,
You once told me that if I were a feeling, I'd be the feeling you get when walking into a warm room from out in the cold. I'd give anything to feel that way again.
From the "Death and Loss" Section:
13. L,
We found the ring in your desk. I would've said yes.
14. G,
He's three months old, and I wish you were here to see him grow. He looks so much like you, big dark eyes and a cheeky grin. He's started laughing, giggling to himself. Your brother can make him laugh like no other. Your mother can't get over how much he looks like you. I think it gets her through the dark days when it really hurts her hard that she's lost her eldest son. I wish you would've known about him before you made the decision to end your life. I wish I'd known a few days earlier and maybe that would have stopped you. I talk about you all the time. He will always know how much strength his dad had and how brave he was. Sometimes I struggle. Sometimes I need you here. He needs you here. Sometimes I just want someone to tell me I'm doing an okay job in bringing him up alone, our son, without you. Sometimes I just want somebody to tell me that it's okay to feel like this.
15. G,
It's been one year, exactly, since the day you made your last decision. I've never once stopped thinking about you, or the times we spend together. The times we would lie, just lie, in your bed. We wouldn't talk, but no words needed to be said, did they? The stupid arguments we had, and then the making up. People thought we weren't right and we didn't work, the arguments were too much. But that was just us, you'd say. Who wants to be normal? I remember that day vividly, the petty argument we had over you not answering your phone. You left, but not before telling me you love me. I didn't reply. That was how we were. God, how I wish I replied. How I wish I could go back and run after you and tell you how much I love you and need you in my life. How your little brother can't cope without you. How we all would have helped. I remember you not coming home that night, but then again that was normal. I remember your brother telling me that they'd found you, in our spot in the woods, and giving me the piece of paper you had. The last thing you ever wrote, telling me I was too good for you and you will forever love me. It's been a year, a year today exactly, and I still can't come to terms with it. You made that decision, to leave us all behind and to end your suffering. There's been no one else, and quite frankly I can never see there being 1anyone else. It's been a year, but it still hurts like it was yesterday. I'm sitting in our spot writing this, leaning up against the big oak tree, the exact location where you made your decision dos silence your demons and end your suffering. I miss you just isn't enough.
From the "Thank You" Section:
16. C-
You didn't even break my heart. You completely shattered it and left behind nothing but the broken shell of a person. You were my absolute everything, and I loved you so damn much. But now I can look at you and not feel the butterflies in my stomach and the pain in my chest. I can finally say "I'm happy" and really mean it. Thank you for showing me how strong I really am. :)
17. Dear R,
After B left, I was heartbroken. He took too much from me and cut me out of his life as if I was dispensable. I had lost hope. I felt lonely and not worthy of love, always a rebound. I didn't want to get close to any guy because I felt completely afraid. However, you came out of the blue... I didn't even like you at first, and I was about to delete your message. I'm glad I didn't and I got to know you better. You're funny and smart, you make me smile always, and I'm glad we can share so many things and I can open up. I don't know when it happened. It was gradual. Thank you for bringing me happiness.
Now do you see what I mean when I said this tore me up emotionally?!?!?