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My Less Than Secret Life: A Diary, Fiction, Essays
Do you often wonder what the hell you're doing with your life? Do you feel separate from most people, like you don't belong anywhere? Do you black out when you drink alcohol? Do you worry that no one will ever love you because you're a bit freakish? Do you suffer private humiliations on the toilet? Do you feel like you'll never be able to take care of yourself financially?
If you answered yes to any of these questions than this book just may be for you. So get out your money, sweetheart or kind sir, buy MY LESS THAN SECRET LIFE, and help the author who wrote the thing--after all, he got a perfect score on the above quiz and could really use your assistance.
Here's another question: Do you like the work of Joseph Mitchell, Charles Bukowski, and Penthouse Forum? Again, if you answered yes, this madcap collection of sex-drenched essays and fiction is probably right up your alley or down your pants or up your skirt, depending on your gender or what you're wearing. Well, that's our sales pitch! Hope it works!
If you answered yes to any of these questions than this book just may be for you. So get out your money, sweetheart or kind sir, buy MY LESS THAN SECRET LIFE, and help the author who wrote the thing--after all, he got a perfect score on the above quiz and could really use your assistance.
Here's another question: Do you like the work of Joseph Mitchell, Charles Bukowski, and Penthouse Forum? Again, if you answered yes, this madcap collection of sex-drenched essays and fiction is probably right up your alley or down your pants or up your skirt, depending on your gender or what you're wearing. Well, that's our sales pitch! Hope it works!
397 pages, Paperback
First published May 30, 2002
22 people are currently reading
606 people want to read
About the author
Jonathan Ames
41 books773 followersJonathan Ames is an American author who has written a number of novels and comic memoirs, and is the creator of two television series, Bored to Death (HBO) and Blunt Talk (STARZ). In the late '90s and early 2000s, he was a columnist for the New York Press for several years, and became known for self-deprecating tales of his sexual misadventures. He also has a long-time interest in boxing, appearing occasionally in the ring as "The Herring Wonder".
Two of his novels have been adapted into films: The Extra Man in 2010, and You Were Never Really Here in 2017. Ames was a co-screenwriter of the former and an executive producer of the latter.
Two of his novels have been adapted into films: The Extra Man in 2010, and You Were Never Really Here in 2017. Ames was a co-screenwriter of the former and an executive producer of the latter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
October 31, 2016
Ames’ best and worst quality is his honesty. His absolute, brutal, not-afraid-to-embarrass-himself honesty. He vocalizes thoughts that most of us keep private, which probably should be kept private. While some may look at his many adventures with transvestites/transsexuals and his stories about pooping and nose picking and masturbation as being somewhat vulgar and unnecessary, at least you can say that he is not full of shit. He is far too open to be considered shady or dishonest.
And for me, at least, this works.
My Less than Secret Life is a compilation of much of his late ‘90s/early 2000’s work. It’s a hodgepodge of essays, short stories, letters, what have you, that serve as a very complete (some might think overly complete) picture of the author as a middle aged man.
As with any such compilation, some of it works and some of it doesn’t. I believe the two strongest pieces are the one about how two chapters of his novel were stolen in an elaborate plot by a misguided friend, and the one about visiting a porno movie set with his father. Both stories are riveting, wickedly funny accounts of things that just don’t happen to most people.
In fact, these things and many other things he writes about, including his training for and participating in a boxing match with a stage performer, just don’t happen to anyone. Yet these things happen to Ames on a regular basis. And for the most part, he welcomes the adventure. Because as a true creative non-fiction writer, in the tradition of Hunter Thompson and Hemingway, Ames throws himself into the story, to hilarious effect.
I loved most everything about this book: I can’t even count the number of times I laughed out loud at something I’d read. This is a great lead-in to Ames’ fiction (read The Extra Man!), which, as this book shows, isn’t very far from the truth.
#JonathanAmes
And for me, at least, this works.
My Less than Secret Life is a compilation of much of his late ‘90s/early 2000’s work. It’s a hodgepodge of essays, short stories, letters, what have you, that serve as a very complete (some might think overly complete) picture of the author as a middle aged man.
As with any such compilation, some of it works and some of it doesn’t. I believe the two strongest pieces are the one about how two chapters of his novel were stolen in an elaborate plot by a misguided friend, and the one about visiting a porno movie set with his father. Both stories are riveting, wickedly funny accounts of things that just don’t happen to most people.
In fact, these things and many other things he writes about, including his training for and participating in a boxing match with a stage performer, just don’t happen to anyone. Yet these things happen to Ames on a regular basis. And for the most part, he welcomes the adventure. Because as a true creative non-fiction writer, in the tradition of Hunter Thompson and Hemingway, Ames throws himself into the story, to hilarious effect.
I loved most everything about this book: I can’t even count the number of times I laughed out loud at something I’d read. This is a great lead-in to Ames’ fiction (read The Extra Man!), which, as this book shows, isn’t very far from the truth.
#JonathanAmes
August 23, 2007
This is a very funny collection of essays, some 'fiction' and a diary from author, variety show host, raconteur and sometimes boxer,Jonathan Ames. I say 'fiction' because often Ames' fiction is very similar to his hilarious, sometimes touching, sometimes disturbing, but always funny and entertaining, real life experiences; just with the names changed.
I've been a fan of Jonathan Ames for about five years, since I first discovered him as a guest on David Letterman. I've attended a few of his readings, a few of his 'variety shows' hosted at Mo Pitkins House of Satisfaction in New York and, recently, his second official boxing match held at Gleason's Gym in Brooklyn. This was the first of about 6 of his books that I've over the years and would recommend all of them - and have often whenever I'm having a conversation with someone about books.
I've been a fan of Jonathan Ames for about five years, since I first discovered him as a guest on David Letterman. I've attended a few of his readings, a few of his 'variety shows' hosted at Mo Pitkins House of Satisfaction in New York and, recently, his second official boxing match held at Gleason's Gym in Brooklyn. This was the first of about 6 of his books that I've over the years and would recommend all of them - and have often whenever I'm having a conversation with someone about books.
June 24, 2021
This was recommended to me upon saying I liked Sedaris (thanks Marissa)... it was very sexual and male, repulsive at times, a little self indulgent, and Jonathan Ames is a bonafide freak. His mind is incredibly dirty and there were lots of prostitutes. I was at first interested at how strange he was but now I’m looking forward to reading more books by women.
August 3, 2025
Jonathan Ames wants desperately to be seen as interesting, but mistakes insolence for honesty and narcissism for individuality. Like many New Yorkers, he believes that just existing in the city and collecting absurd experiences is enough to convince others that you’re someone worth talking to.
Maybe it’s because I have been desensitized to the waggish yet narcissistic character of my father - a former Wall Street banker - but selling your ego to others is so…tiring. What makes an interesting life isn’t purchasing sex, associating with household names, or flaunting an engineered vagina (to quote Roman Roy: wow, funny AND cool!).
Interesting people are those that have a goal of creating something greater than themselves, and their stories come from their journey of getting there. If you don’t have a goal - but you still want people to know your name - you end up living a shallow life that means nothing outside of the frivolous anecdotes you share at parties.
The story Ames *should* tell—his desire for genuine human connection—evades him. His sexual escapades remain crude not because of prudishness on the reader’s part, but because his stories lack any self-awareness. Is his pursuit of sex a means of staving off the loneliness that inevitably comes from the inability to care for anyone beyond himself? Maybe if he stopped trying to sell himself to others, and developed genuine interest in them instead, he’d have a more compelling story.
Maybe it’s because I have been desensitized to the waggish yet narcissistic character of my father - a former Wall Street banker - but selling your ego to others is so…tiring. What makes an interesting life isn’t purchasing sex, associating with household names, or flaunting an engineered vagina (to quote Roman Roy: wow, funny AND cool!).
Interesting people are those that have a goal of creating something greater than themselves, and their stories come from their journey of getting there. If you don’t have a goal - but you still want people to know your name - you end up living a shallow life that means nothing outside of the frivolous anecdotes you share at parties.
The story Ames *should* tell—his desire for genuine human connection—evades him. His sexual escapades remain crude not because of prudishness on the reader’s part, but because his stories lack any self-awareness. Is his pursuit of sex a means of staving off the loneliness that inevitably comes from the inability to care for anyone beyond himself? Maybe if he stopped trying to sell himself to others, and developed genuine interest in them instead, he’d have a more compelling story.
February 14, 2019
Completely depraved. Just as I like them. I really wish Ames would write more.
December 15, 2020
“My mind goes round and round trying to figure things out, but I always come back to the same two things: Loneliness and Death.” This collection of Jonathan’s NY Post columns, essays, and short fiction are a sequel of sorts to his earlier What’s Not to Love?, which collected his earlier columns. There are the expected funny antics and odd experiences Jonathan seems attracted to — losing a crazy boxing match, getting turned away from an orgy, taking a chaste walk with a prostitute. He quits his Post column but never seems to tire of writing hilarious stories about himself — hilarity shot through with self loathing and despair. Read and be entertained.
August 1, 2021
Jonathan Ames can make anything that happens to him interesting, and his writing makes me think I could write about my life and accomplish the same, especially if I was willing to humiliate myself on every page.
January 18, 2013
I read this after I had read "Wake Up, Sir!" It is a compendium of previously published essays, some non-fiction accounts of the madcap adventures of the author, and some fiction or diary entries. It is often very, very funny. It mainly features a lot of private phobias and hangups that Ames has in the areas of self control and sexuality...still, there are many very heartfelt pieces about caring for loved ones, suicide attempts by dogs, a great piece on a literary hoax from a jealous admirer, etc. You can see how he developed characters for his HBO show and for the aforementioned novel as well, since you read about his attempt at amateur boxing and other wacky schemes. Many of the essays are more than ten years old at this point, published during the burgeoning heyday of the Internet age, and this dates a few of them, but overall they are still very funny. Much of it is universal, and feelings that many of us may have had about experiences waking up with someone, using the bathroom, mythologizing our lives (as he does in Havana, referring to himself as the Jewish Graham Greene, Greenberg), or just observing mundane tragedy and human pain (taking an elderly aunt to the doctor in Queens, observing a man die and seeing businesses nearby barely pause).
I liked it, but for me, I'd read what I know of his novels before this...Although if you're an essay person, this might be more your speed.
I liked it, but for me, I'd read what I know of his novels before this...Although if you're an essay person, this might be more your speed.
June 26, 2011
My second foray into Ames' unique brand of psychotherapy, the bookjacket entices/warns: "Do you often wonder what the hell you're doing with your life? Do you feel separate from most people, like you don't belong anywhere? Do you black out when you drink alcohol? Do you worry that no one will ever love you because you're a bit freakish?" The list goes on. In truth, Ames does confront all of these issues and more with his patented self-deprecating introspection. What results is something raw and visceral, sometimes shocking and occasionally enlightened. This collection is a strange mixture of autobiographical biweekly columns from the New York Press, short fiction, and several essays. While not as refined as his later fiction (see "Wake Up, Sir!") there are a multitude of examples herein where Ames puts forth his best, one just has to be patient enough to seek them out.
"So that milk was several weeks old, like everything else in my refrigerator. But did I throw it away? No. I'll probably sniff it again in two weeks' time, just to torment myself. I have two personalities. Two idiots. The one who sniffs the milk and doesn't throw it away, and the one who sniffs the milk two weeks later."
"So that milk was several weeks old, like everything else in my refrigerator. But did I throw it away? No. I'll probably sniff it again in two weeks' time, just to torment myself. I have two personalities. Two idiots. The one who sniffs the milk and doesn't throw it away, and the one who sniffs the milk two weeks later."
February 2, 2010
Way back when I was attending Columbia for fiction writing, I struggled with this exact topic. How do you write a hilarious biting memoir and make sure your parents and friends will still speak to you after it's been published? Where is the line between fact and fiction, and can you be sued for crossing the line? But Ames is so funny that I don't really care. I appreciate his admission, though, that slight fame caused a shift in his 'real' life. Sedaris and the other heavyweights never seem to acknowledge the fact that they are no longer anonymous male pseudo deadbeats but instead celebrities.
Readalikes: Titles by David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Jonathan Ames
Readalikes: Titles by David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Jonathan Ames
January 7, 2024
Stunning, Jonathan!
May 3, 2009
I love Ames writing. He marches to his own drummer and lives by his own rules. He should be received along side those who appreciate Seadaris and Borroughs. Only problem for me with these types of essay books is that after 150 pages it begins to sound like the party guest that just won't shut up. Nagging and monotone and non stop. It's a book that I will pick up and read from time to time but have trouble trying to digest as a whole.
March 7, 2013
I have never read and of Jonathan Ames previous work and I feel like if I had it may have helped. The book was a bit of a hodgepodge of stories/articles he had written, so most of the stuff has been seen before. I felt that some of the essays/articles I enjoyed, but some were a little dull and were difficult to get through. I do like short the most of the 'chapters' were and made it easy for short reading when I was on the train.
May 29, 2007
Unnecessary - I didn't learn anything or grow in any way while reading this book. I dont read for the beautiful prose that I know a lot of people do - I read for the emotions the story allows me to feel that I wouldn't normally - or to teach me a new way of looking at something. This book did nothing for me.
August 21, 2007
If you like reading another person's inner-most thoughts and desires and enjoy a writer who can make you laugh and like sex, then you're going to enjoy Jonathan Ames. I'm not even 100 pages in and I want to read more from him. Okay, I finished it, and it's very good. It's blogging before blogging became blogging. In other words, a diary. Very personal and insightful on the human condition.
April 7, 2010
Is there anything as terrible as racing through a truly hilarious book? With eyes and fingers on the metaphorical gas pedal, the only speed bumps are the tears of laughter and/or the arousal. So keep Kleenex handy and try to make it last as long as possible. Put that on your book jacket flaps, Ames!
March 2, 2013
Advised by a friend. And she was right. Read the whole book in one Sunday. The book consists of short stories in which Ames describes his life in painful, funny, freaky experiences. But he writes it tenderly; as one critic says: "... he renders the perverse sweet, the tormenting tender, and spins his most horrific escapades into pure, hysterical, weirdly uplifting comic gold..."
July 29, 2007
Hilarious. Not all of the essays are successful, but that's only because Ames is willing to gamble every time, going out on a comic/memoir limb that he then saws out from under him. Gosh, but I love this guy's stuff.
February 22, 2012
A little disjointed, all over the map, but an enjoyable read nonetheless. Great for voyeurs, since he likes to expose himself. Because it's an eclectic collection of writings, it's easy enough to get back on track whenever you're lost.
October 24, 2016
I enjoyed the memoir portion more than the short story portion. It seemed like all the short stories were thinly veiled true stories. Interesting guy, weird life, fun read... at least the first half.
May 22, 2007
One Word: Mangina.
June 19, 2007
pervy fun...who doesn't love that?
July 27, 2007
Hilarious. He writes unabashedly about such incredibly personal things and bizarre neuroses. Entertaining and makes you feel slightly less weird.
August 29, 2007
Another great book by Jonathan Ames - absolutely sick!
October 27, 2007
Hilariously honest! Reading Ames one realizes how much embarassing stuff most personal essayists must be leaving out.
January 18, 2008
good easy bedtime reading...cept it keeps you up until 3am. not as easy as he makes it look.
February 26, 2008
More of Ames' tell tale wit and shameless recounting of his perverse adventures through the late night subcultures of New York city.
October 8, 2009
Laughed out loud at some of these essays.
April 3, 2010
dirty minds think alike... yikes! :)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews