It has become habit, that as I near the end of a book, I slow down, give time for my thoughts to come together, and to allow for my reaching the end to concur with ample time to put those thoughts to paper. I do suppose that the given day of this occurrence does influence my concluding thoughts, as well as, my age at the time, recent events in my life, what is happening in the world, even, as Heidelberg theorized, my mere observation. There are several favorites that I have read many times, at different times in my life over the last forty years, and yes, my understanding is not only different with each reading in breath, but also depth. It is an observation, that although clearly subjective, I vainly attempt to keep as objective as possible.
This undertaking of observations and the observations of observations, at its most elementary, is a "toothpick" framework of how I see Sandor Marai's Memoir of Hungary. A rendering of the world he saw, his Hungary, his language, the Hungarian spirit, and the effects of not only Nazi and then Soviet occupation, but the indifference of the rest of the world to the plight of his people during the years 1944-1948. How he felt, what he thought and his ruminations regarding those feelings and thoughts. His encounters and conversations with fellow Hungarians, and the ruminations thereof.
Marai opens the door to his most inner thoughts during that time, his feelings, hopes and despair, and the very evolution of his mind and heart as he vacillated over staying or leaving his homeland. It was not so much a question of "to stay or not to stay" but in essence, truly, "to be or not to be". Shakespeare, once again, timeless. The world does not speak, nor understand Hungarian. For a writer, especially a prolific one, such as Marai, with over 46 books, leaving his country renders him mute. It was only with the realization that Communism also rendered him mute, for even his silence was dangerous, spoke volumes, that Marai chose the world over his homeland.
Ancient stories portray monsters, tell epics of inhumane creatures that attempt to conquer and obliterate, and man's fight for survival. Beasts and machines, aliens. These faceless, nameless monsters, devoid of compassion instill fear, hatred, and the desire to kill. As the tale continues, man, like David against Goliath, overcomes immense odds and conquers his oppressor. Man not only chooses, but attains his destiny and in doing so, man triumphs machine, proving, that Humanism, the very spirit of God our creator, is alive and well.
But, what if the monster, the inhumane, faceless, nameless creature that tears asunder and plunders your very world is not alien, but a monstrous conglomeration of fellow humans, even fellow countrymen? Betrayal enters the equation. What if the pursuit of this human constructed monster, this regime, is all in the name of "the people"? Deceit enters the equation. And what if the pursuit is so simplistic, so narrow in focus that it defies logic, ignores the very idea of the complexity of human thought, a dogma where "one shoe fits all"? Stupidity enters the equation. Betrayal + Deceit + Stupidity = ?
I am not sure there is one answer, although after reading Memoir of Hungary, I could venture to say, "communism". However, I would rather say what it is NOT. Betrayal, deceit, and stupidity is NOT love and understanding, it is not compassion, it does not nurture, forgive, absolve, or empower. In fact, the combination, virus-like, renders a people faceless, nameless, spiritless, hopeless, human-less.
Yet, somehow, despite this lethal combination, this viral, inhumane machine of oppression, there were those who held, however feebly, to the tenuous threads of humanness, who held fast to the belief that man is a possibility, who fled their oppressor and lived to tell their story. Sandor Marai was one such individual, one such "I" who lived to tell, wrote to inform, opened his heart to share.
It is only since the early 1990s that Marai's works have been translated to English. I, for one, am grateful for his thoughts, his observations, his observations of his observations.
Memoir of Hungary is one for my permanent shelves, one I will revisit in the future, again, and again.