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The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it

4.04  ·  Rating details ·  1,472 ratings  ·  187 reviews
An expert on the psychology of leadership and bestselling author of Integrity, Necessary Endings, and Boundaries For Leaders identifies the critical ingredient for personal and professional wellbeing.

Most leadership coaching focuses on helping leaders build their skills and knowledge and close performance gaps. These are necessary, but not sufficient. Using evidence from f
Hardcover, 256 pages
Published May 3rd 2016 by Harper Business
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Christopher Lawson
May 01, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Dr Cloud starts off this book with a powerful story. One man is near completion of his "SEAL training. However, he's in danger of failing one test; he's about ready to give up. But first, he sees a fellow SEAL, standing on shore. His comrade gives him "a huge fist pump and yell." At this point, "Something happened. Something beyond him. His body jumped into another gear, into another dimension of performance that he had not had access to before." The man went on to complete the SEAL course. This ...more
George P.
Aug 11, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Henry Cloud, The Power of the Other: The Startling Effect Other People Have on You, from the Boardroom to the Bedroom and Beyond—and What to Do About It (New York: Harper Business, 2016).

Leaders often say, “It’s lonely at the top.” That’s true, of course—at least to an extent—but it’s also tragic. Leadership doesn’t have to be lonely.

In fact, as Dr. Henry Cloud argues in The Power of the Other, success depends on relationship. “The undeniable reality,” he writes, “is that how well you do in life
☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣
Well, the author tried to go into energy relationship research, thought didn't quite fo that far in order not to sound too new-Agey. Still, a bright read. ...more
Carmen Liffengren
Mar 24, 2018 rated it it was ok
2.5 Stars

I expected a little more from this book because it isn't groundbreaking news that other people have an effect on each other. I mean, it all seems a little obvious. Maybe I was expecting some deep psychology here, but I was a little disappointed. Dr. Cloud does make some good distinctions on the kinds of connections that move us forward or don't. He makes distinctions between 4 types of connections:

Corner 1 - Disconnected: No connection
Corner 2- Bad connection: Those connections that
Sai Krishna
Jan 07, 2017 rated it really liked it
There is a reason I wanted to start my reading habit this year with a book like this:

All along, we are told to focus on what WE do or we CAN do, what is upto us and in our hands and not to worry about the rest. This is a perfectly sensible thing to do and I believed it with all my heart. However, something that happened in my life last year shook this very belief catching by its collar. I sure had given my best, and it was a cumulative effort from over a couple of years and therefore I was cert
Henry Cloud continues to be one of the most informative, practical writers I have ever read. This book details how others can affect us and make us see our more authentic selves. There are four corners where people can live (1-disconnected, 2-bad connections, 3-good but false connections, and 4- which is where we want to live.

Cloud identifies eight characteristics of Corner Four relationships. True connection fuels, gives freedom, requires responsibility, takes the sting away from failure, chal
Rick Wilson
I actually really like the idea proposed by this book. Essentially that “no man is an island” and we can only grow and develop through our experience and relationships with others. Through reinforcement, encouragement, hi fives and butt slaps, we become our best selves. We are social creatures and as such our development is very closely tied to validation and encouragement by others.

But man, the examples used here to flesh out this idea are awful. At one point the author compares humans to a ce
I think the subtitle was a bit of an overreach for what the book actually stands for. Cloud discusses relationship as the significant factor in excelling and spends a lot of time detailing his four corners (and a lot of time on the fourth corner which is the "best" corner to create, work in, strive for). And you can with a few bits and pieces understand where he's going with the subtitle on how relationships are important. It works, but some of it was redundant. And quite a few analogies-- he co ...more
May 26, 2020 rated it really liked it
A valuable insight into the myriad of ways in which we are impacted by others (as the title suggests!). Although some elements of this text were embellished and drawn out longer than perhaps necessary, Cloud's knack for story-telling kept me turning the pages. I was confronted by the realisation that I often dwell in corner 3 for longer than I would like to admit, and I was enlightened to discover the characteristics of positive corner 4 relationships. Love that relationships must be equal parts ...more
Nicholas Varady-szabo
Sep 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
Cloud is the best! He again nails it in this book. His thesis is simple: Only through relationships with others can we grow, mature and conquer the obstacles life throws at us. He uses a model of 4 corners: three dysfunctional ways of approaching relationships, and one life giving one - the corner four relationship, one that involves grace and truth. Readable, and full of his trademark ability to bring clarity to the messy confused-ness of our inner lives.
Oct 19, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I'm currently going through some significant changes in my life and this book was exactly what I needed. Recognizing how interactions with others affect me and figuring out where I fit in those interactions was so enlightening. I feel like I have a ton of work to do to figure out what corner each relationship I have is so I can decide whether that's a relationship I want to foster or distance myself from. Another excellent Dr. Henry Cloud book!! ...more
Elizabeth K
Rating this three-stars, not because there’s anything wrong with the advice, or that it’s dull, but because it’s simply GOOD advice rather than groundbreaking like the title suggests. I can sum it up as: find yourself some good quality relationships who challenge you to be the best you can be and you’ll go far. In the quest for self improvement we often forget that we NEED others... et voila! The book summed up!
Jack Bandy
Feb 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
A practical easy read with relatable examples.
Feb 11, 2019 rated it it was ok
I agree with the premise of the book. In my opinion though, it could have been much shorter book, as the concept is easy to grasp. I also thought it was kind of trashy to keep referencing his own past books.
Jul 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I love reading Dr. Henry Cloud!
Apr 06, 2018 rated it really liked it
The Power of the Other hit many points in both relationships and the workplace spot on! There were many situations outlined in the book that I imagined scenarios from personal work experience. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who wants to take their emotional intelligence, social skills, or leadership skills to a higher level.

A few strong discussions you can get out of this book:
‣ Self and other - We can't truly change other people, they have to decide to change themselves.
‣ Help build
Jul 20, 2016 rated it liked it
Much of the conversation about growth is centered on how you as an individual can do better. You can improve your techniques, your thinking, your strategies, your skills, your goals, your communication, etc.

While there is truth to that narrative, this book seeks to makes us more aware that other people have a large impact on our growth and performance. If the needs we have for other people go unrecognized, our growth will be stymied and our performance will be limited. We need to be aware of th
Laura Skladzinski
Feb 01, 2017 rated it it was ok
My office picked this for our business book club and none of us enjoyed it or felt it was worth our time. Just read the subtitle - there, I saved you a few hours.

I did not enjoy this book - I found the advice very obvious (other people have an effect on my life? You're kidding me!) and not very practical. "Corner 4" became the author's catch-all for "all good relationships" without any really actionable advice about the many times in life we're forced to collaborate with people who aren't our be
May 03, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Dr. Cloud takes aim and sinks the putt once again with his latest book, "The Power of the Other"!

This book provides a deeper and richer understanding of not only how "The Power of the Other" impacts us, but how we impact others in relationships.
In this book, you will learn about the four corners of relationship and how to reach the ultimate - four corner relationship status. This is where we all experience the best of relationships whether in our family, friend or work relationships.

"The Powe
Christine Norman
Jan 05, 2017 rated it really liked it
It wasn't until I'd read 2/3 of the book that I understood why he was revisiting all this material on how to get along with your team. He hates all the psychological slogans that encourage people to "find the power within," change your life, love yourself, talk to yourself, think positive thoughts, etc. His message is that you need good relationships to succeed in every area of life. You can't do it alone. The books outlines many ways and ideas to foster those supportive, honest relationships. G ...more
kartik narayanan
Apr 21, 2017 rated it it was ok
Read my full review at my blog

What is the book about?
“The Power of the Other” is written by Dr. Henry Cloud, author of other relationship oriented bestsellers like “Boundaries”. His writing is non-controversial and easily consumable
“The Power of the Other” is a book about how other people affect us and how our success depends on our relationships with others. This book explores this concept across varying contexts ranging mostly from organizations to our personal li
Jun 14, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Henry Cloud is one of my top 5 authors. Ever. His insights are so clarifying, almost stunning. And his practical approach to applying those insights is so helpful. I highly recommend this book, to get to Corner 4 connections with more people in your life, where you not only support each other, but hold each other accountable to being your highest version of yourselves. His theory is that no one can do it alone - we all need Corner 4 connections. I agree.
Tenille Shade
I've been a fan of Henry Cloud's books for decades, and this one did not disappoint. The power of other in our professional and personal lives is unparalleled. I loved thinking about the four corners: No Connection, Bad Connection, Fake Connection, and Real Connection. The idea that we are like cell phones pinging a signal resonated deeply. I hope to forge new 4th corner relationships in 2017. ...more
Apr 27, 2016 marked it as to-read
Hope to be receiving today!
Dave Scott
Dec 02, 2016 rated it it was amazing
You cannot go where you want to go without the other in your life. Not just any "other" rather someone who helps you achieve your goals. No Lone Ranger ever did anything amazing. ...more
More memoir than social science. The book lacks facts, statistics, or references to studies. It is full of anecdotes. The description of the book doesn't match up with the content of the book. ...more
Sep 08, 2018 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
There wasn't an interesting paragraph in the entire book. Full of vague stories about unnamed people and companies with no details whatsoever. ...more
Aug 12, 2020 rated it it was amazing
- To love yourself is not enough, it’s important to find someone who can mentor/teach you how to love others just as good a good parenting would have done. Receive love, internalise it (biologically, physiologically mentally though good connections and Modelling alike, external soothing analysed; someone pushes our limits, we learned to act differently, thinking differently) and give it to others- pay it forward
- Corner four: Stop bad feelings by talking to the person directly to address
Michael Kovaleski
Classic example of "you get what you want, not what you need"

I went into the reading of this book expecting dark forbidden knowledge on how people affect everything you do and sneaky tricks pertaining to how to dominate that element of competition. I then proceeded to get by brain "beaten" into deserved submission as Dr Cloud revealed to me in no uncertain terms that when I'm not a "Corner Three" narcissist that gets off on criticizing and controlling others, I'm a lonely "Corner One" loser who
Barry Davis
Dec 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing
An exceptional book on the significance of relationships in personal growth. Subtitled “The Startling Effect Other People Have on You, from the Boardroom to the Bedroom and Beyond -- and What to Do About It,” this highly practical book begins with the story of a U.S. Seal candidate who is clearly not going to be able to complete his test, until a buddy on the beach, the destination of his final swim, keeps pumping his fist and telling him., “You can do it!” Cloud calls this “the neglected truth, ...more
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Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public semina

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