book data
748 ratings,
4.14
average rating, 202 reviews
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published
April 1st 2002
(first published 1992)
by Zondervan
binding
Paperback, 304 pages
isbn
0310247454
(isbn13: 9780310247456)
description
In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others' need...more
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avg 4.14
editions: all | this edition
editions: all | this edition
Read in January, 2008
recommended to Kim by:
a lady at my churchrecommends it for: anyone struggling with saying "no", the over-committed person
I really recommend this biblically based book to anyone who struggles with saying "no" or those who allow others to take advantage of them in just about any way (time, money, favors, services, etc.). The first few chapters help the reader understand what boundaries are and that they are not selfish at all, in fact, they are necessary to protect us. Then the book uses examples of types of problems people have setting and maintaining boundaries (fear of anger, rejection, loss of a frie...more
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Read in June, 2008
recommended to Nola by:
Dave Ramseyrecommends it for: anyone with a relationship with another person
I listened to this on tape while driving, but I intend to go back and read it (probably more than once) so that it can more thoroughly seep into my head. This is a great book for anyone who has problems saying 'no' to family, friends, church assignments, coworkers, or themselves. It's really good for anyone who has a *RELATIONSHIP* with any of the aforementioned, which is essentially everyone.
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FOLLOWUP: I had to return this to the library, without finishing it. I am havin...more
*************
FOLLOWUP: I had to return this to the library, without finishing it. I am havin...more
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recommended to Thea by:
Risa Hobson
recommends it for: Anyone in a relationship or family
recommends it for: Anyone in a relationship or family
People with healthy boundaries take responsibility for their own behaviors, their own values, and their own lives. If your life is filled with more of what you don't want and not enough of what you do want, your boundaries may not be what they should be. The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us.
Setting and keeping your boundaries (and honoring the boun...more
Setting and keeping your boundaries (and honoring the boun...more
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Read in November, 2008
This is an excellent book. I actually purchased and read a newer edition, with a white and red cover.
This book could apply to many different troublesome situations. If you're a people pleaser that tends to get stressed out, there are some really helpful things in here. Or if you are liable to be taken advantage of.
I like the Christian viewpoint, because it takes into account the fact that followers of Christ WANT to serve others and not be "selfish." Yet it also teaches wh...more
This book could apply to many different troublesome situations. If you're a people pleaser that tends to get stressed out, there are some really helpful things in here. Or if you are liable to be taken advantage of.
I like the Christian viewpoint, because it takes into account the fact that followers of Christ WANT to serve others and not be "selfish." Yet it also teaches wh...more
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LOVE IT! Amazing how these authors empower you by accurately describing relationships for what they are and how to make them better. Work, children, spouse, they tackle it all. I'll keep this book forever. I may never take it off of my currently reading shelf.
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Read in February, 2008
recommended to Mary by:
Mom (go figure)recommends it for: anybody who wants to improve their relationships
This book really helped to clarify for me that it is not selfish or unChristian to get your own life in order using boundaries. Keep pushing forward with defining your boundaries, although others may react negatively. That is their problem with boundaries of others, not yours.
I think the authors secretly spied on me and all my interpersonal relationships to write this book! But seriously, reading this and using my bible as help...lots of scriptural references to how God wants us to ...more
I think the authors secretly spied on me and all my interpersonal relationships to write this book! But seriously, reading this and using my bible as help...lots of scriptural references to how God wants us to ...more
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A five-star book for those of us who just san't say no to others. If you need to learn how to distance yourself and protect your family from needy people in a moving way, check it out. It's ok to say no. It's ok to take care of your own needs sometimes!
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One of the best 'self help' books I have ever read. This text helps you understand the need to establish boundaries in your life so that you don't let other people run ramshackle over you.
A fundamental principle of the book is that you are the problem, not other people - you control your destiny, not theirs. If you think everyone else needs to change then you give them power over you. Instead you establish boundaries to keep your own yard neat and not bugging out about things you ca...more
A fundamental principle of the book is that you are the problem, not other people - you control your destiny, not theirs. If you think everyone else needs to change then you give them power over you. Instead you establish boundaries to keep your own yard neat and not bugging out about things you ca...more
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Read in April, 2008
A heavy, but good read for me. I borrowed it many months ago, being eager to finish, but the sections were so rich and convicting that it was impossible to move on without stopping to chew on the nugget I just took in. The authors were so great that it felt like having my own personal counselors right there. Except it's much cheaper than real counselors, and you have to talk to yourself.
This book isn't 'anti-service' or 'anti-selflessness', but it's message is one of being a good st...more
This book isn't 'anti-service' or 'anti-selflessness', but it's message is one of being a good st...more
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Read in January, 2005
A book everyone should read. Cloud & Townsend, licensed (and thoroughly knowledgable) psychiatrists explain how to distinguish yourself from other people. That's the simple explanation, a better way to review this book is to say it showed me how to be a better person and a much better lover of people who no longer feels trapped or bound in unhealthy relationships. Great for Americans who stay in unhealthy "frenemy" relationships, resent their spouses but don't know how to change...more
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Read in May, 2009
I'm not done reading the book yet, so I may update this later. The fact is, if I wasn't reading this book for a book group, I don't think I would go any further, or gotten as far as I have.
The thing I hate the most in this one is how much scripture is quoted. The authers feel like they have to back up every sentance they right with scripture in order to make what they just said okay. To accomplish this they often end up twisting the words of the orginal authors and take things out of...more
The thing I hate the most in this one is how much scripture is quoted. The authers feel like they have to back up every sentance they right with scripture in order to make what they just said okay. To accomplish this they often end up twisting the words of the orginal authors and take things out of...more
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Read in January, 1997
he subtitle says it all: this book is all about "taking control of your life." That such a phrase can be heralded as a genuine Christian goal should terrify us all. Where is the Church headed? Is the Gospel really about "taking control of your life"?
This book gives good, solid advice about how to take control of your life; how to protect yourself from folks who will seek to hurt or discourage you. But is that what Jesus wants for us? Is that 'taking up your cross...more
This book gives good, solid advice about how to take control of your life; how to protect yourself from folks who will seek to hurt or discourage you. But is that what Jesus wants for us? Is that 'taking up your cross...more
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2 comments
Has a copy to sell/swap
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Read in February, 2008
recommends it for:
no-one
This book is just a bunch of Christian psycho-babble about how to 'say no'. the author drones on and on with example situations about a working mom driving the kids to soccer practice, being asked to volunteer at church, all the while juggling her career with the needs of her jerk of a husband and bratty / whining kids. Really, it's not much more than a book created to give people excuses for making bad choices in the first place.
the book could be summed up in a few sentences:
...more
the book could be summed up in a few sentences:
...more
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Read in January, 2008
I read this book because it had come recommended to me and because I was starting a new job that is very emotionally demanding. I wanted to brush up on the idea of boundaries both for myself and for folks I might be working with. While I thought that a lot of the statements around boundaries were true I hated the way these doctors used scripture references to under gird almost every little thing. I felt that their effort to demonstrate that the Bible agreed with them was unnecessary and also...more
Read in January, 2007
For someone with very confused boundaries and who believed many of these boundary myths, this book was extremely helpful in exploring my own issues and looking at ways to apply boundaries in my life. Overall, the writing style of the book is fairly corny but does have many good biblical principles. It's well organized and clearly divided into sections dealing with different types of boundary issues, causes, effects, etc which makes it easy to find the most relevant sections and focus in on tho...more
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Read in June, 2008
A simple Christian counseling book, "Boundaries" has a lot of very basic information on how to live a healthy life, be an individual, and take responsibility; and of course it talks about being able to say "no". Sadly these things were not at all familiar concepts to me until recently, and thus I find the book incredibly amazing as it is reinforcing everything I am trying to accomplish in my life right now.
However, I would hesitate to recommend it to just anyone,...more
However, I would hesitate to recommend it to just anyone,...more
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Read in January, 2004
This is one of those "change your life" books. I didn't understand what boundaries were or why it's important to have them until I opened this up. I think I read it in a day. I shared it with friends, bought more of these books and shared them. Really important to know when to say things and when not to, as well as when a problem is yours and when it's not. Amazing.
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Read in January, 2006
recommended to Kate by:
Cloud himself! (radio)recommends it for: anyone who is not an island, and those who are.
a staple cloud item and applicable to everyone, try it. nothing new, but nonetheless, it's always nice to see level-headed faith-considerate information collected in one place. readers would be hard pressed to go wrong with anything cloud--thus the inevitable dozens more cloud/cloud, et al. titles to fill my "read" list.
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Read in October, 2008
A friend told me about this book. It really helped me look at myself from the outside in and solve some problems I've been struggling with. It gave me new insight, a new and simple plan, and a "ticket" to not feel so guilty about things I never had control about in the first place. Good read.
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01/15/09
Rosefairyangel
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Read in February, 2008
Hard read, but very eye opening and freeing. If something just doesn't feel right in your life...if you feel angry or taken advantage of all the time...this is a must read. But, be prepared for it to change your life. Allow it to change your life. A very good read.
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