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Jan 23, 2008

Kim rated it:

I really recommend this biblically based book to anyone who struggles with saying "no" or those who allow others to take advantage of them in just about any way (time, money, favors, services, etc.). The first few chapters help the reader understand what boundaries are and that they are not selfish at all, in fact, they are necessary to protect us. Then the book uses examples of types of problems people have setting and maintaining boundaries (fear of anger, rejection, loss of a frie More...

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Jul 28, 2008

Nola rated it:

I listened to this on tape while driving, but I intend to go back and read it (probably more than once) so that it can more thoroughly seep into my head. This is a great book for anyone who has problems saying 'no' to family, friends, church assignments, coworkers, or themselves. It's really good for anyone who has a *RELATIONSHIP* with any of the aforementioned, which is essentially everyone.
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FOLLOWUP: I had to return this to the library, without finishing it. I am havin More...

1 comment like (2 people liked it)

Dec 19, 2008

Michelle rated it:

This is an excellent book. I actually purchased and read a newer edition, with a white and red cover.
This book could apply to many different troublesome situations. If you're a people pleaser that tends to get stressed out, there are some really helpful things in here. Or if you are liable to be taken advantage of.
I like the Christian viewpoint, because it takes into account the fact that followers of Christ WANT to serve others and not be "selfish." Yet it also teaches wh More...

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Dec 09, 2008

Redgeorgiadawg rated it:

LOVE IT! Amazing how these authors empower you by accurately describing relationships for what they are and how to make them better. Work, children, spouse, they tackle it all. I'll keep this book forever. I may never take it off of my currently reading shelf.

1 comment like (1 person liked it)

Feb 11, 2008

Mary rated it:

This book really helped to clarify for me that it is not selfish or unChristian to get your own life in order using boundaries. Keep pushing forward with defining your boundaries, although others may react negatively. That is their problem with boundaries of others, not yours.
I think the authors secretly spied on me and all my interpersonal relationships to write this book! But seriously, reading this and using my bible as help...lots of scriptural references to how God wants us to More...

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Dec 15, 2008

Meredith rated it:

A five-star book for those of us who just san't say no to others. If you need to learn how to distance yourself and protect your family from needy people in a moving way, check it out. It's ok to say no. It's ok to take care of your own needs sometimes!

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Aug 28, 2011

Audrey rated it:

I found it to be a very practical book. Its so easy to allow others to take advantage of me but if I set boundaries in a healthy Christian manner it makes for better relationships. As the sayinggoes; "Good fences make good neighbors."

2 comments like (1 person liked it)

Aug 18, 2008

Shawn rated it:

One of the best 'self help' books I have ever read. This text helps you understand the need to establish boundaries in your life so that you don't let other people run ramshackle over you.

A fundamental principle of the book is that you are the problem, not other people - you control your destiny, not theirs. If you think everyone else needs to change then you give them power over you. Instead you establish boundaries to keep your own yard neat and not bugging out about things you ca More...

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Oct 19, 2011

Patricia rated it:

I was hesitant at first to read this book because the synopsis referred to Christians and being that I am not Christian and not seeking to live a Christian lifestyle, I didn't think it would be for me. However, I did start to read the first chapter and soon discovered it was indeed for me. I may not be a Christian, however I was raised Christian therefore learned about boundaries the way Christian see them, a bit too loose and forgiving.

The book may make scripture references but not More...

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Sep 26, 2011

Lori L rated it:

I've been taking a class this summer on boundaries, based on the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. According to Wikipedia, "Personal Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for him- or herself what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how he or she will respond when someone steps outside those limits. Personal boundaries define you as an individual. They are statements of what More...

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Aug 22, 2011

Matt rated it:

I’ve known about this book for a long time, but finally became interested in reading it this year. The subtitle says that the book will teach the reader, “When to say yes, how to say no,” and I think that sums up what I gained most from this book. When I think of all the different scenarios brought up in “Boundaries,” throughout many different life stages, the one thing that permeates the book is the idea that saying, “No” will allow you to take back control of your own life. It will help you More...

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Feb 26, 2011

Jacqueline rated it:

This book was recommended to me by a friend many years ago. Then I saw another friend was reading it & talking about it with her female study group from church & highly recommended it too. I went through it very slowly because the title sounded like it might be a self-help book that was not the most urgent for me when I was short on time & the first story did not seem that relevant to me. However, I think later on the book becomes really good. I'd like to give it 5 stars because I think the late More...

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Sep 23, 2010

Sarah rated it:

This is a literal story of not judging a book by its cover...

Someone I trust very deeply about such issues recommended I read this book called "Boundaries." When I found it at the library, I was horrified! It looked like a cheesy self-help book, and worse, it had won the Gold Medallion Book Award - "in recognition of excellence in Evangelical Christian literature." Needless to say, I was terrified; in no way do I self-identify as an Evengelical. But like I said More...

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Apr 18, 2010

Tripleguess rated it:

I greatly appreciate the premise of this book; it's not just okay, but wise and right, for Christians to have boundaries. Boundaries are not walls fencing us off from humanity, but gated defenses that allow us to keep stupid or malicious people from doing us harm.

I do think there was some "reading back" of psychology training onto the Bible verses... I'm not sure Peter was a certain type of controlling person, or if one can judge that from a single verse.

If anyt More...

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Feb 24, 2010

Thomas rated it:

I bought this book several years ago after hearing Dave Ramsey recommend it for many years. I was very disappointed. It is deeply rooted in Christianity, which is fine, but I found the way in which Bible references were made to be very distracting. The authors would be well on their way to making a good point and then there was a Bible reference or two followed by an example of the Bible reference followed by an interpretation of the Bible reference. Well, by the time I got back to the topic More...

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Oct 10, 2011

Dani rated it:

Boundaries is a must read for anybody and everybody. Even if you don't think you have boundary issues, that it's someone else in your life that has the problem, you may learn a thing or two. Cloud and Townsend do a wonderful job of laying out how boundaries are formed, what types of roles people play in your life that cause you to have too many/too little boundaries, how to change them slowly, and how to recognize a change in your lifestyle. While this book only has one chapter dedicated to each More...

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Feb 04, 2012

Christine rated it:

This book was absolutely life-changing for me. Unlike many books that address the selfish, angry type of person who needs to start thinking more about others, this very wise and practical guide addresses those of us who bend over backwards to try to fix things so that no one will be angry or upset with us. This self-sacrificing attitude is presented to us as the desirable Christian way to behave, but can be very destructive if we end up letting others run our lives.

It saved my marria More...

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Dec 16, 2009

Karina rated it:

... Not what I expected. I decided to read this after seeing some glowing reviews. So I opened the book, read the introduction "A Day in a Boundaryless Life" describing a day of a lady who's unable to refuse anyone but feels resentful and guilty about her resentfulness, and a couple of pages on the book. Then skipped to the end, "A Day in a Life with Boundaries", describing the same person who has successfully set boundaries, and doesn't hesitate to say "no" anymore More...

1 comment like (1 person liked it)

Dec 26, 2008

Eddie rated it:

A heavy, but good read for me. I borrowed it many months ago, being eager to finish, but the sections were so rich and convicting that it was impossible to move on without stopping to chew on the nugget I just took in. The authors were so great that it felt like having my own personal counselors right there. Except it's much cheaper than real counselors, and you have to talk to yourself.

This book isn't 'anti-service' or 'anti-selflessness', but it's message is one of being a good st More...

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Feb 05, 2012

Jonathan rated it:

Do you have trouble saying no? Do people seem to take advantage of you? Is it hard for you to talk about what you feel because you don't think you're important enough or think that you need to sacrifice yourself? Do you guilt-trip others to get your way, or are you being guilt-tripped yourself? Do you believe a "good person" or an "obedient Christian" is someone who always says yes when asked to do something, someone who always gives in when pushed, or someone who manipul More...

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Nov 09, 2011

Chris rated it:

This book showed me a different way to look at myself and really introduced a new word into my vocabulary to describe the way I think and feel about many things. I often find myself describing my interactions with other people and interactions I see in terms of boundaries. I enjoyed this aspect of the book.

I also enjoyed the Christian perspective in the book. The book defines not only boundaries that we should have with others, but also how boundaries influence our relationship with More...

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Jan 01, 2010

Shauna rated it:

Although I am still in the first half of the book, I find that this is a remarkable, biblical, and thought-provoking book that explains that it is absolutely necessary to create and enforce boundaries in all of our relationships. It has helped me to know that saying "No" to a loved one is neither selfish nor a bad thing, but necessary in order to create balance and to ensure one's longevity. Too many times we put the needs of others before the needs of ourselves. And when we cannot set More...

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Oct 09, 2011

Trish rated it:

I have heard this book recommended at various times over the last several years, but just never picked it up until now. I ended up buying a copy a couple of Saturdays ago, and by Sunday evening had read 75% of it.

This is an amazing book that has given me so much to think about with regard to how I have lived my life to this point. I have been gradually learning a bit about what boundaries are and how to have them, but reading this book has propelled me to a new level of understandi More...

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Aug 28, 2011

Virginia rated it:

This book was astounding! Now that I've finished it my husband is reading it and having similar revelations! Granted you probably need to have some form of faith to get around the Biblical references but aside from that this is some seriously solid (and Bible based) psychology which has really been helping us sort out our issues with relationships in general! I've learned so much from this book about myself that it scares me! There are few books I read that really are eye-openers but this my fri More...

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Oct 27, 2010

Toni rated it:

This book is changing my life. Drawing me back to my roots as as a hardshell baptist, I am astounded at the clarity with which Cloud and Townsend use the New and Old Testaments to elucidate the subject of the boundary-injured, and their dance in relationships. These two author/therapists are truly masters in their field, and if you'd like to read excerpts from this book, visit my blog at tonirahman.com, and go to the What I'm Reading page, and from there, to Boundaries, where I have collected More...

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May 31, 2010

Kendra rated it:

Wow. What an amazing and very helpful book. I don't usually read self-help books, but I picked this one up after someone recommended it. It does come at the issue from a biblical point of view, quoting bible verses and such, but I really think this book could be helpful even to people that do not consider themselves religious. This book really helped me to see more clearly how developing strong boundaries is good for both me and the other parties involved. It had helpful suggestions for how to g More...

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May 22, 2009

Anna rated it:

A book everyone should read. Cloud & Townsend, licensed (and thoroughly knowledgable) psychiatrists explain how to distinguish yourself from other people. That's the simple explanation, a better way to review this book is to say it showed me how to be a better person and a much better lover of people who no longer feels trapped or bound in unhealthy relationships. Great for Americans who stay in unhealthy "frenemy" relationships, resent their spouses but don't know how to change More...

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Oct 18, 2011

Cheryl rated it:

Im Always recommending this to people! Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries help us be honest about out feelings and all the things we could hide, but it feels so much better to be REAL. We are responsible to be real with ourselves, and others... It helps calm the anger we always thought we had the right to when we have felt disrespected etc wi More...

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Dec 01, 2009

Mandy rated it:

I think this is a really helpful book. There were many points in the book where the message hit home with me. Even though I feel as if I've reached a point in my life where I have a pretty good handle on boundaries, I was able to look back and remember some other times where I didn't. This book put into words a lot of the things that I learned from those experiences but hadn't really had the understanding to nail it down so solidly. I feel its a book that could benefit a lot of people, but e More...

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Feb 11, 2012

Sharon rated it:

Please steer far away from this book. Cloud's foundation is not scripture, but psychology, and he takes scriptures out of context to "prove" his points. Our foundation for interaction with others should be love, and we should address their sin with the intent to help them grow in love. Cloud, however, comes from a foundation of self-protection, and he twists scripture away from its original meaning in order to justify his foundation.
In short, the title says it all: "How More...

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