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When I Was Death
A group of girls does Death incarnate's bidding in this haunting speculative young adult novel by the author of The Year of the Witching.
Roslyn isn’t herself anymore. It’s been a year since her sister, Adeline, died under mysterious circumstances, and Roslyn is still tormented by her absence. So when the elusive caravan of girls that Adeline spent her last summer with rolls back into town, Roslyn joins them to finally figure out what happened to her sister.
Strange, beautiful, and intriguing, the girls are closed off from the world. And as it turns out, they’re brought together by a force more sinister than Roslyn’s nightmares could’ve conjured Death himself.
Death has spared the girls from untimely endings, and to pay for their lives, the girls travel the country reaping souls on his behalf. Now Roslyn must decide if finding closure is worth the price of striking the same deal.
Roslyn isn’t herself anymore. It’s been a year since her sister, Adeline, died under mysterious circumstances, and Roslyn is still tormented by her absence. So when the elusive caravan of girls that Adeline spent her last summer with rolls back into town, Roslyn joins them to finally figure out what happened to her sister.
Strange, beautiful, and intriguing, the girls are closed off from the world. And as it turns out, they’re brought together by a force more sinister than Roslyn’s nightmares could’ve conjured Death himself.
Death has spared the girls from untimely endings, and to pay for their lives, the girls travel the country reaping souls on his behalf. Now Roslyn must decide if finding closure is worth the price of striking the same deal.
283 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 10, 2026
78 people are currently reading
16544 people want to read
About the author
Alexis Henderson
10 books4,287 followersAlexis Henderson is a speculative fiction writer with a penchant for dark fantasy, witchcraft, and cosmic horror. She grew up in one of America’s most haunted cities, Savannah, Georgia, which instilled in her a life-long love of ghost stories. When she doesn’t have her nose buried in a book, you can find her painting or watching horror movies with her feline familiar.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 292 reviews
December 13, 2025
This book — with its creative, stunning, artsy cover — immediately drew me in, and the story inside turns out to be something truly unique within Alexis Henderson’s body of work. It blends girl power, sisterhood, LGBTQ+ energy, grief, and friendship into a darkly atmospheric fantasy touched with magical realism. Based on the blurb, I expected a full-on horror novel about teenage girls making a pact with Death and becoming grim reapers. But instead, this is an emotional, deeply reflective story about healing, identity, personal value, and the aching search for truth. It defies genre in the best way.
At the heart of the story is Roslyn, a girl suffocating under the weight of grief after the mysterious death of her sister, Adeline. One day Adeline went into the bathroom; the next she had vanished. After days of searching, she was found dead in what authorities ruled a suicide — a conclusion Roslyn refuses to accept. Her sister was vibrant, joyful, overflowing with life. Nothing about “suicide” matches who Adeline was, and Roslyn becomes consumed by the need to uncover what really happened.
Her world tilts the day a group of strange, charismatic teenage girls shows up at the diner where she works. They exude this chaotic, magnetic energy, and before leaving, they scribble an address on a receipt, inviting her to join them for a night swim. Roslyn hesitates, torn between fear and curiosity, but the mention of Adeline in their whispers is enough to make her go.
When she arrives at the location, she discovers the girls gathered around a silent, shimmering pool, the chlorine-lit water reflecting their faces like a secret waiting to be revealed. Their leader, Shiloh, steps forward and calmly tells Roslyn that she knew Adeline — a confession that shakes Roslyn to her core. Suddenly, everything makes sense: her sister’s strange behavior before her death, her sudden shifts in mood, her cryptic comments, her unexplained new confidence. Adeline must have met these girls during the time she stayed with their aunt, and whatever happened within this circle may hold the key to the truth.
The girls invite Roslyn to join them on a special trip, and with a mixture of fear, hope, and desperation, she lies to her parents and claims she’s going to a camp retreat. But what she doesn’t know is that these girls aren’t just a group of intense, eccentric teens — they are servants of Death himself, carrying out tasks assigned to them by the man who rules over the departed. In exchange for taking certain lives — people whose time has come — Death gives them power, purpose, and a strange kind of protection.
Death sees Roslyn as too fragile, too heartbroken, too vulnerable to join their ranks. But Roslyn doesn’t care about becoming one of them. She cares about her sister. And Death is the only being who knows what truly happened to Adeline — the only one who can give Roslyn the answers she’s been begging the universe for. So she agrees to work for him, stepping blindly into a world she doesn’t fully understand.
What she uncovers is far beyond anything she could have imagined — truths about her sister, about the girls, about Death’s intentions, and about her own capacity for strength, rage, and love.
Overall: This is a quick yet emotionally layered read about grief, sisterhood, found family, and the messy, vulnerable journey of understanding your own worth. It's poignant, eccentric, beautifully written, and filled with girl-power energy. I’m rounding my 3.5 to a strong 4 fantasy-sisterhood stars.
A huge thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group / G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers for the digital ARC in exchange for my honest review.
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At the heart of the story is Roslyn, a girl suffocating under the weight of grief after the mysterious death of her sister, Adeline. One day Adeline went into the bathroom; the next she had vanished. After days of searching, she was found dead in what authorities ruled a suicide — a conclusion Roslyn refuses to accept. Her sister was vibrant, joyful, overflowing with life. Nothing about “suicide” matches who Adeline was, and Roslyn becomes consumed by the need to uncover what really happened.
Her world tilts the day a group of strange, charismatic teenage girls shows up at the diner where she works. They exude this chaotic, magnetic energy, and before leaving, they scribble an address on a receipt, inviting her to join them for a night swim. Roslyn hesitates, torn between fear and curiosity, but the mention of Adeline in their whispers is enough to make her go.
When she arrives at the location, she discovers the girls gathered around a silent, shimmering pool, the chlorine-lit water reflecting their faces like a secret waiting to be revealed. Their leader, Shiloh, steps forward and calmly tells Roslyn that she knew Adeline — a confession that shakes Roslyn to her core. Suddenly, everything makes sense: her sister’s strange behavior before her death, her sudden shifts in mood, her cryptic comments, her unexplained new confidence. Adeline must have met these girls during the time she stayed with their aunt, and whatever happened within this circle may hold the key to the truth.
The girls invite Roslyn to join them on a special trip, and with a mixture of fear, hope, and desperation, she lies to her parents and claims she’s going to a camp retreat. But what she doesn’t know is that these girls aren’t just a group of intense, eccentric teens — they are servants of Death himself, carrying out tasks assigned to them by the man who rules over the departed. In exchange for taking certain lives — people whose time has come — Death gives them power, purpose, and a strange kind of protection.
Death sees Roslyn as too fragile, too heartbroken, too vulnerable to join their ranks. But Roslyn doesn’t care about becoming one of them. She cares about her sister. And Death is the only being who knows what truly happened to Adeline — the only one who can give Roslyn the answers she’s been begging the universe for. So she agrees to work for him, stepping blindly into a world she doesn’t fully understand.
What she uncovers is far beyond anything she could have imagined — truths about her sister, about the girls, about Death’s intentions, and about her own capacity for strength, rage, and love.
Overall: This is a quick yet emotionally layered read about grief, sisterhood, found family, and the messy, vulnerable journey of understanding your own worth. It's poignant, eccentric, beautifully written, and filled with girl-power energy. I’m rounding my 3.5 to a strong 4 fantasy-sisterhood stars.
A huge thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group / G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers for the digital ARC in exchange for my honest review.
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December 9, 2025
I love a good codependent obsessive girl friend group.
I loved an academy for liars by the same author so when I saw this relatively short book I knew I needed to read it. The concept of teenage girls doing death's work is so cool and, as I imagined, it was a great book.
We had a power outage last night so I read it entirely in one sitting in the dark and it was such a good vibe. Like I said it is short, less than 300 pages, but it's so well constructed it didn't feel rushed at all. I like the writing style, it flowed really well, and the characters were all very interesting.
Thank you G. P. Putnam's Sons Books and Netgalley for the ARC!
I loved an academy for liars by the same author so when I saw this relatively short book I knew I needed to read it. The concept of teenage girls doing death's work is so cool and, as I imagined, it was a great book.
We had a power outage last night so I read it entirely in one sitting in the dark and it was such a good vibe. Like I said it is short, less than 300 pages, but it's so well constructed it didn't feel rushed at all. I like the writing style, it flowed really well, and the characters were all very interesting.
Thank you G. P. Putnam's Sons Books and Netgalley for the ARC!
February 9, 2026
Let me just start by saying I will read anything by Alexis Henderson after Academy for Liars. She is dark, twisty, weird, and I love it! I adore the way she deals with uncomfortable emotions and this YA novel is no different. This is a book for anyone who’s had grief written on their heart. Old or new, distant or close, it writes with indelible ink and we carry it with us forever.
You can feel the sadness in the pages but you can also feel the hope. And the closure that everyone who has suffered a loss yearns for. I was absolutely bawling by the end of it. Not because I was sad, but because of the release it gave. We hold on to the grief and guilt in the same breath. This story is a beautifully creative way to come to terms with both. I am awestruck that this is YA, yet I’m so glad it is. So often this audience doesn’t get a chance to deal with these feelings (and the aftermath) in a constructive even if a slightly fantastical way. Even many years after my own loss, this gave me a sense of closure I didn’t realize I was still looking for. I highly recommend picking this one up when it hits shelves March 3!
Many thanks to Penguin Young Readers Group | G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers and Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this eARC. All opinions are my own.
You can feel the sadness in the pages but you can also feel the hope. And the closure that everyone who has suffered a loss yearns for. I was absolutely bawling by the end of it. Not because I was sad, but because of the release it gave. We hold on to the grief and guilt in the same breath. This story is a beautifully creative way to come to terms with both. I am awestruck that this is YA, yet I’m so glad it is. So often this audience doesn’t get a chance to deal with these feelings (and the aftermath) in a constructive even if a slightly fantastical way. Even many years after my own loss, this gave me a sense of closure I didn’t realize I was still looking for. I highly recommend picking this one up when it hits shelves March 3!
Many thanks to Penguin Young Readers Group | G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers and Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this eARC. All opinions are my own.
March 13, 2026
Thanks to Netgalley and G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers for the pre-release copy of When I Was Death by Alexis Henderson. Below is my honest review.
When I Was Death is about a lot of things. It's about a girl getting roped into a deal with Death to travel with a group of other girls who made deals and reaping souls for him. It's about a girl dealing with the death of her sister and putting her life back together. It's about a girl coming into her own. It's about forming friendships and realizing that people aren't perfect.
Where it shines though? It's a book about grief and processing loss and finding ways to move forward in a world that isn't the same any more.
Absolutely loved this book. I read it in 2 sittings, as it was very compelling and hard to put down.
Definitely recommend this to Henderson fans, but also recommended to YA-adjacent fans, horror-adjacent fans (I definitely wouldn't label this horror, but it's a little dark), and people who just like good compelling stories.
Five stars.
When I Was Death is about a lot of things. It's about a girl getting roped into a deal with Death to travel with a group of other girls who made deals and reaping souls for him. It's about a girl dealing with the death of her sister and putting her life back together. It's about a girl coming into her own. It's about forming friendships and realizing that people aren't perfect.
Where it shines though? It's a book about grief and processing loss and finding ways to move forward in a world that isn't the same any more.
Absolutely loved this book. I read it in 2 sittings, as it was very compelling and hard to put down.
Definitely recommend this to Henderson fans, but also recommended to YA-adjacent fans, horror-adjacent fans (I definitely wouldn't label this horror, but it's a little dark), and people who just like good compelling stories.
Five stars.
March 11, 2026
Initial reaction:That was a rollercoaster in the wrong doggone way. Review to come. 2 stars. Absolutely not my cuppa. It feels like we were made to go through that whole whirlwind thanks to very contrived situations surrounding the characters. It was hard to suspend disbelief because of how things in transition came to be and what was supposed to be an emotional scenario for these teens and the protagonist finding out what happened to her sister felt like a blip.
It also feels mismatched for being YA. I could have seen something like this working as an adult novel with young characters, but even then it felt convoluted.
Full review:
There aren't many times when I actively ask whether or not I read the same book as anyone else, but I have to ask that question for "When I was Death" by Alexis Henderson, which is the author's first foray into YA.
This book was not good. This book was NOT good. Holy moly, Batman, this book was a tedious, muddled, disorganized mess. I don't understand why this is getting as much praise as it is. Part of me thinks that because this is intended to be a narrative that deals with death and grief - something we're seeing a lot of in narrative features of YA literature right now - may be the reason why so many gravitate towards it. But this isn't even among the best of narratives that deal with the subject, nor is it anywhere the best Alexis Henderson has written in her bibliography. Honestly, when I came out of reading this narrative, I was absolutely stunned at how lackluster this was, probably even moreso than I was coming out of "An Academy for Liars," which was adult. Some of this narrative feels like it's unnecessarily convoluted in its short span of pages to "feel" deep and involved, without moving the necessary weight with it. When you actually peel back the layers of what it does, it feels shallow on death and grief in the worst possible way. With queer characters too!
I know all of you are thinking "Rose, please explain why you say all this about a book that clearly connected with people." *sighs* Depends on who you're asking for the connection. I *really* would like to know what TEENS think of this book. NOT adults. The adults might tell you this was a potent exploration of grief, trauma, explorations of death in a meta way that feels experimental in how it was told, and has speculative elements. But for the audience, depending on if this holds their attention (which I predict even for its short length, it's going to lose the attention of some young readers *very* quickly), it may not have the potent landing some may think based on what happens here. And I imagine it might make some folks mad that they went through all of that only to end up where the narrative concludes, which even to me felt like a waste of time.
This story focuses on a biracial teen girl (mama's Black, dad's white) named Roslyn whose sister died many months before the story starts. It's revealed early on they had a relationship that wasn't easy and that she has complicated feelings about her sister's death. Roslyn is a shell of her former self, as are her family. But when a group of mysterious girls - various ages and backgrounds - enters her small town diner in the midwest, Roslyn's life definitely changes on a route she doesn't expect and lends a connection to her sister's death.
I picked up on some jarring, harmful stereotypes early on in the book that bothered me. Take this directly quoted section of the narrative that's in Chapter 2, when Roslyn talks about her sister Adeline in comparison to herself:
..."like the fact that we were two of the only biracial students at our small town private school...just made Adeline all the more alluring. It helped that she was beautiful, and not in a pedestrian away. She was tall and bronze-skinned like our mom but with our dad's blond hair and hazel eyes. Heads swiveled when she came down the hall at school, people turning to look no matter how many times they'd seen her before."
*sighs* There are other expanded moments of internalized colorism we could get into from this narrative, but that part says a lot and in conjunction with other details in the book, it's not a good start. (My kingdom for books with biracial and Black children who actually love the skin they're in and don't judge their value - for beauty, for worth - in proximity to a standard that's steeped in colorism. One could say that this may be realistic for some teens and their experiences, but the fact we get certain details like this coupled with other musings in Roslyn's voice that I could quote that are worse...it's a problem. Goes unaddressed and unchallenged. And not healthy for self-image.) I should note that my galley copy absolutely did NOT have trigger warnings for this book, though it may be different in the published/final copy.
The second problem that I saw off the bat was that these characters felt way too old to be teens, in voice and behavior in certain turns. This isn't to say that teens couldn't do some of the things that happen in this book, but you can tell that there are a lot of liberties taken for what happens in this story. Some of these events blew past my suspension of disbelief fairly early on, another not good sign. It made me wonder if this was really a story written specifically for teens or if it was shoehorned under YA because of the age of the protagonist and the group of girls that she ends up being around. And I hate that because it increasingly feels like many contemporary stories that keep getting marketed as YA really feel like they're more for an adult audience and the teen audience keeps getting left out/left behind as a result. I would argue that "When I Was Death" does have a distinct problem with identifying whether or not it's a story written in YA intended for teens or if it's a YA that's written and marketed more for adults. I'm leaning more towards the latter based on the execution of events that happen here. It really doesn't feel in spaces like it takes the kind of care in its exposition that teens need to process...a lot of what ends up happening in this story. Not a matter of talking down, but more like it has no portrayal of care for the weight of events. That's a big problem considering how heavy this story gets.
Roslyn learns that the group of girls had a connection to her dead sister early on in the story, and she's determined to figure out what that was. Roslyn notes that Adeline was the kind of girl who ran away frequently, had a twenty year old boyfriend at one point who was arrested (yeah...), and suffered from depression. Before Adeline was found dead, she mysteriously disappeared up until she was found eight weeks later. Roslyn herself gives a pretty brutal description on how her sister was found, which...yeah, not really much on the care side of things, but you can tell that she's a blunt protagonist. (The sex trafficking one off statement was not funny to me, either.) So forgive me if I'm a little bit weirded out at the fact that Roslyn's mama and dad let Roslyn go unchecked with a group of girls they never met on a road trip, supposedly for a weekend. (Spoiler: it wasn't for only a weekend. It was much longer.)
What follows is a convoluted journey that reveals this group of girls as teen reapers working for a grown man identifying as Death. He provides everything they need - money, space, means to travel to different places - to collect the souls of those who are about to go. Even with how parts of this felt sketch in how it was explained (particularly on how Death found it easier to recruit girls vs. boys as reapers...that was EXTREMELY weird - read: sexist - for explanation), another part of me thought "Oh cool, teen reapers under a harsh bargain doing the work of this mysterious and dangerous figure. We get to learn a bit more about that at the very least."
I'll admit being able to see who the girls take and how had moments of appeal. The way the girls take souls isn't graphic, but administered through touch. (Sort of like the reaper from Bone Thugs N' Harmony's "Crossroads" video if you're of a certain age.) Parts of it had my attention, I do give the narrative that. Part of the reason why it ended up at two stars for me. The actual reaper duties and the fact we get to follow the girls of various ages on this journey had my attention. Skye's the youngest at 14. (I don't like what happens to her, not spoiling. Felt like a cheap shot considering the story events.) Shiloh is the oldest and driving the van they travel in to each destination. But the further along Roslyn travels with the girls, the more the motivations get muddled.
I wished that this overarching journey didn't feel like it was pointlessly convoluted, designed to turn the girls against each other even with some really sketch details on how their relationships were and how Roslyn ended up with them in the first place. I wish that there weren't so many abusive/manipulative relationships established in here that are passed off as displays of "love". So much of this felt incredibly toxic. Some of it was even judgmental with no kind of checks to it. It also touts a sapphic relationship that most definitely isn't a romance...really tragic in fact where it involved stalking and coercion. Made me ill the more I thought about it, and fairly heated to read how it played out.
I also didn't like where this ended because Roslyn has to make a monumental decision, one that ends up having her time travel (!) to go back and meet her sister before she dies to avoid killing the other girls because Death's making her choose who dies (!) but plot twist in that she MASSIVE SPOILER and somehow that gets passed off as an act of love?! In a story where not just one, but both of these girls were suffering from suicidal ideation in very specific spaces during the story?!
Y'all...come on now. Now you know why I have a headache over how this was done. But somehow we march to a conclusion that has Roslyn returning home without the girls she'd been traveling with, no kind of checks on how she was just gone for a long while, except that Death was responsible...and then there was the epilogue.
I wanted to throw the book across the room when I was done, I was so exhausted. I liked pieces of this story when the reaping and darker imagery landed (not so much the judgmental and stereotypical parts). There are parts of Alexis Henderson's writing that I like here that I recognize from her other works; I know this came from her and there are shades of the story that land. But the execution's all over the place and not particularly potent. "When I Was Death" calls into question for how "neat" the story wraps up whether this really feels like it was for teens or not, especially for the way it handles its heavy subjects. But there's also the fact that it really spins a convoluted, toxic story in a way that doesn't end very satisfying, and that's where my thoughts landed by the time I reached the final page.
Overall, definitely not my cuppa. It's hard for me to know who to recommend this for, because I think a teen, if they didn't lose interest long before the ending, may not necessarily like where it ends up or what it has to say about Roslyn, her all too brief beginning and ending with her relationship with the reaper girls, with Death, or with her sister Adeline. And to me, that's a shame because there were so many other interesting potential directions this story could have gone, that would have been far more intriguing, exploration of difficult subjects in a healthy, affirming way.
But that wasn't this story. Instead it lent itself to a lot of stereotypes, harms that went underexplored and unaddressed, and made you wonder whether it was worth the journey at all.
Overall score: 2/5 stars.
Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, from the publisher.
It also feels mismatched for being YA. I could have seen something like this working as an adult novel with young characters, but even then it felt convoluted.
Full review:
There aren't many times when I actively ask whether or not I read the same book as anyone else, but I have to ask that question for "When I was Death" by Alexis Henderson, which is the author's first foray into YA.
This book was not good. This book was NOT good. Holy moly, Batman, this book was a tedious, muddled, disorganized mess. I don't understand why this is getting as much praise as it is. Part of me thinks that because this is intended to be a narrative that deals with death and grief - something we're seeing a lot of in narrative features of YA literature right now - may be the reason why so many gravitate towards it. But this isn't even among the best of narratives that deal with the subject, nor is it anywhere the best Alexis Henderson has written in her bibliography. Honestly, when I came out of reading this narrative, I was absolutely stunned at how lackluster this was, probably even moreso than I was coming out of "An Academy for Liars," which was adult. Some of this narrative feels like it's unnecessarily convoluted in its short span of pages to "feel" deep and involved, without moving the necessary weight with it. When you actually peel back the layers of what it does, it feels shallow on death and grief in the worst possible way. With queer characters too!
I know all of you are thinking "Rose, please explain why you say all this about a book that clearly connected with people." *sighs* Depends on who you're asking for the connection. I *really* would like to know what TEENS think of this book. NOT adults. The adults might tell you this was a potent exploration of grief, trauma, explorations of death in a meta way that feels experimental in how it was told, and has speculative elements. But for the audience, depending on if this holds their attention (which I predict even for its short length, it's going to lose the attention of some young readers *very* quickly), it may not have the potent landing some may think based on what happens here. And I imagine it might make some folks mad that they went through all of that only to end up where the narrative concludes, which even to me felt like a waste of time.
This story focuses on a biracial teen girl (mama's Black, dad's white) named Roslyn whose sister died many months before the story starts. It's revealed early on they had a relationship that wasn't easy and that she has complicated feelings about her sister's death. Roslyn is a shell of her former self, as are her family. But when a group of mysterious girls - various ages and backgrounds - enters her small town diner in the midwest, Roslyn's life definitely changes on a route she doesn't expect and lends a connection to her sister's death.
I picked up on some jarring, harmful stereotypes early on in the book that bothered me. Take this directly quoted section of the narrative that's in Chapter 2, when Roslyn talks about her sister Adeline in comparison to herself:
..."like the fact that we were two of the only biracial students at our small town private school...just made Adeline all the more alluring. It helped that she was beautiful, and not in a pedestrian away. She was tall and bronze-skinned like our mom but with our dad's blond hair and hazel eyes. Heads swiveled when she came down the hall at school, people turning to look no matter how many times they'd seen her before."
*sighs* There are other expanded moments of internalized colorism we could get into from this narrative, but that part says a lot and in conjunction with other details in the book, it's not a good start. (My kingdom for books with biracial and Black children who actually love the skin they're in and don't judge their value - for beauty, for worth - in proximity to a standard that's steeped in colorism. One could say that this may be realistic for some teens and their experiences, but the fact we get certain details like this coupled with other musings in Roslyn's voice that I could quote that are worse...it's a problem. Goes unaddressed and unchallenged. And not healthy for self-image.) I should note that my galley copy absolutely did NOT have trigger warnings for this book, though it may be different in the published/final copy.
The second problem that I saw off the bat was that these characters felt way too old to be teens, in voice and behavior in certain turns. This isn't to say that teens couldn't do some of the things that happen in this book, but you can tell that there are a lot of liberties taken for what happens in this story. Some of these events blew past my suspension of disbelief fairly early on, another not good sign. It made me wonder if this was really a story written specifically for teens or if it was shoehorned under YA because of the age of the protagonist and the group of girls that she ends up being around. And I hate that because it increasingly feels like many contemporary stories that keep getting marketed as YA really feel like they're more for an adult audience and the teen audience keeps getting left out/left behind as a result. I would argue that "When I Was Death" does have a distinct problem with identifying whether or not it's a story written in YA intended for teens or if it's a YA that's written and marketed more for adults. I'm leaning more towards the latter based on the execution of events that happen here. It really doesn't feel in spaces like it takes the kind of care in its exposition that teens need to process...a lot of what ends up happening in this story. Not a matter of talking down, but more like it has no portrayal of care for the weight of events. That's a big problem considering how heavy this story gets.
Roslyn learns that the group of girls had a connection to her dead sister early on in the story, and she's determined to figure out what that was. Roslyn notes that Adeline was the kind of girl who ran away frequently, had a twenty year old boyfriend at one point who was arrested (yeah...), and suffered from depression. Before Adeline was found dead, she mysteriously disappeared up until she was found eight weeks later. Roslyn herself gives a pretty brutal description on how her sister was found, which...yeah, not really much on the care side of things, but you can tell that she's a blunt protagonist. (The sex trafficking one off statement was not funny to me, either.) So forgive me if I'm a little bit weirded out at the fact that Roslyn's mama and dad let Roslyn go unchecked with a group of girls they never met on a road trip, supposedly for a weekend. (Spoiler: it wasn't for only a weekend. It was much longer.)
What follows is a convoluted journey that reveals this group of girls as teen reapers working for a grown man identifying as Death. He provides everything they need - money, space, means to travel to different places - to collect the souls of those who are about to go. Even with how parts of this felt sketch in how it was explained (particularly on how Death found it easier to recruit girls vs. boys as reapers...that was EXTREMELY weird - read: sexist - for explanation), another part of me thought "Oh cool, teen reapers under a harsh bargain doing the work of this mysterious and dangerous figure. We get to learn a bit more about that at the very least."
I'll admit being able to see who the girls take and how had moments of appeal. The way the girls take souls isn't graphic, but administered through touch. (Sort of like the reaper from Bone Thugs N' Harmony's "Crossroads" video if you're of a certain age.) Parts of it had my attention, I do give the narrative that. Part of the reason why it ended up at two stars for me. The actual reaper duties and the fact we get to follow the girls of various ages on this journey had my attention. Skye's the youngest at 14. (I don't like what happens to her, not spoiling. Felt like a cheap shot considering the story events.) Shiloh is the oldest and driving the van they travel in to each destination. But the further along Roslyn travels with the girls, the more the motivations get muddled.
I wished that this overarching journey didn't feel like it was pointlessly convoluted, designed to turn the girls against each other even with some really sketch details on how their relationships were and how Roslyn ended up with them in the first place. I wish that there weren't so many abusive/manipulative relationships established in here that are passed off as displays of "love". So much of this felt incredibly toxic. Some of it was even judgmental with no kind of checks to it. It also touts a sapphic relationship that most definitely isn't a romance...really tragic in fact where it involved stalking and coercion. Made me ill the more I thought about it, and fairly heated to read how it played out.
I also didn't like where this ended because Roslyn has to make a monumental decision, one that ends up having her time travel (!) to go back and meet her sister before she dies to avoid killing the other girls because Death's making her choose who dies (!) but plot twist in that she MASSIVE SPOILER and somehow that gets passed off as an act of love?! In a story where not just one, but both of these girls were suffering from suicidal ideation in very specific spaces during the story?!
Y'all...come on now. Now you know why I have a headache over how this was done. But somehow we march to a conclusion that has Roslyn returning home without the girls she'd been traveling with, no kind of checks on how she was just gone for a long while, except that Death was responsible...and then there was the epilogue.
I wanted to throw the book across the room when I was done, I was so exhausted. I liked pieces of this story when the reaping and darker imagery landed (not so much the judgmental and stereotypical parts). There are parts of Alexis Henderson's writing that I like here that I recognize from her other works; I know this came from her and there are shades of the story that land. But the execution's all over the place and not particularly potent. "When I Was Death" calls into question for how "neat" the story wraps up whether this really feels like it was for teens or not, especially for the way it handles its heavy subjects. But there's also the fact that it really spins a convoluted, toxic story in a way that doesn't end very satisfying, and that's where my thoughts landed by the time I reached the final page.
Overall, definitely not my cuppa. It's hard for me to know who to recommend this for, because I think a teen, if they didn't lose interest long before the ending, may not necessarily like where it ends up or what it has to say about Roslyn, her all too brief beginning and ending with her relationship with the reaper girls, with Death, or with her sister Adeline. And to me, that's a shame because there were so many other interesting potential directions this story could have gone, that would have been far more intriguing, exploration of difficult subjects in a healthy, affirming way.
But that wasn't this story. Instead it lent itself to a lot of stereotypes, harms that went underexplored and unaddressed, and made you wonder whether it was worth the journey at all.
Overall score: 2/5 stars.
Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, from the publisher.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Over the years, I have read many books featuring the Grim Reaper and the people working for him. Every one is so unique in the plot and always has a slightly different take on the afterlife. The idea that the Grim Reaper would pick teenage girls to help with his work (basically angels of death, though the author didn't use that term) is something I haven't ever seen before.
This truly is a great book, especially if you are looking for an emotional book that will make you cry. Loved it so much. This is the first book I have read by this author but planning on looking into reading more of her books in the future.
Thanks so much to NetGalley for the free Kindle book. My review is voluntarily given, and my opinions are my own.
This truly is a great book, especially if you are looking for an emotional book that will make you cry. Loved it so much. This is the first book I have read by this author but planning on looking into reading more of her books in the future.
Thanks so much to NetGalley for the free Kindle book. My review is voluntarily given, and my opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
3.5⭐️ rounded-up.
💔 YA Speculative/Horror
👻 Bargain with Death
💔 Found Family
👻 Overcoming Grief
💔 Road Trip
Alexis Henderson has an amazing ability to grab readers with her stories and not let go. This is the third book that I've read from her where it was easy to find myself completely immersed in her prose and woven atmosphere.
This story follows Roslyn, a teenage girl spiralling from the death of her sister, Adeline. The loss of Adeline feels overwhelming and she is withdrawn until she meets a strange nomadic group of teenage girls who ask her to join their group: where she soon discovers they have each made a bargain with death. The cost is high, the risks are plenty and eventually Roslyn faces an impossible choice.
I adored the concepts and themes in this book. I found it to be a fantastic young-adult speculative horror with fantasy + magical realism roots. While I did have to suspend disbelief for some of the plot points: I loved the exploration of grief and the concept of bargaining with death. Roslyn embodies that teenage girl archetype where she doesn't quite feel that she fits in and she is vulnerable, but determined. The nomadic road trip journey with a group of dynamic teenage girls was also a lot of fun, while still having an ominous overtone.
I think where this story kind of misses the mark for me is in the vague details and at times fast-paced nature. While I appreciate that the story is so immersive I feel like I had a hard time grasping how the girls carry out the tasks. Certain scenes seemed slow-moving while other scenes were over quickly, which made the pacing feel a little bit chaotic. While I did find the characters dynamic, I sometimes had a hard time placing a few of the side characters and didn't have as much emotional attachment to their fates as I would have liked. I also felt a little bit unsatisfied with the ending even though it is well-rounded, honestly? I can't really place why, I think it just felt too easy after everything Roslyn goes through.
Overall a fantastic easy read that grapples with some fairly heavy themes. Heavy on the fantasy, horror-lite and with a unique exploration of its concepts.
Thank you to Netgalley and Penguin Young Readers Group for the ARC of this book. All thoughts and feedback contained within this review are my own.
💔 YA Speculative/Horror
👻 Bargain with Death
💔 Found Family
👻 Overcoming Grief
💔 Road Trip
Alexis Henderson has an amazing ability to grab readers with her stories and not let go. This is the third book that I've read from her where it was easy to find myself completely immersed in her prose and woven atmosphere.
This story follows Roslyn, a teenage girl spiralling from the death of her sister, Adeline. The loss of Adeline feels overwhelming and she is withdrawn until she meets a strange nomadic group of teenage girls who ask her to join their group: where she soon discovers they have each made a bargain with death. The cost is high, the risks are plenty and eventually Roslyn faces an impossible choice.
I adored the concepts and themes in this book. I found it to be a fantastic young-adult speculative horror with fantasy + magical realism roots. While I did have to suspend disbelief for some of the plot points: I loved the exploration of grief and the concept of bargaining with death. Roslyn embodies that teenage girl archetype where she doesn't quite feel that she fits in and she is vulnerable, but determined. The nomadic road trip journey with a group of dynamic teenage girls was also a lot of fun, while still having an ominous overtone.
I think where this story kind of misses the mark for me is in the vague details and at times fast-paced nature. While I appreciate that the story is so immersive I feel like I had a hard time grasping how the girls carry out the tasks. Certain scenes seemed slow-moving while other scenes were over quickly, which made the pacing feel a little bit chaotic. While I did find the characters dynamic, I sometimes had a hard time placing a few of the side characters and didn't have as much emotional attachment to their fates as I would have liked. I also felt a little bit unsatisfied with the ending even though it is well-rounded, honestly? I can't really place why, I think it just felt too easy after everything Roslyn goes through.
Overall a fantastic easy read that grapples with some fairly heavy themes. Heavy on the fantasy, horror-lite and with a unique exploration of its concepts.
Thank you to Netgalley and Penguin Young Readers Group for the ARC of this book. All thoughts and feedback contained within this review are my own.
January 29, 2026
I did not expect to binge this in a single day and definitely not that I would shed a tear or two!
When I Was Death is an ya speculative horror about a group of girls doing Death’s bidding. When they do, their own lives are spared.
A year has passed since Roslyn’s sister, Adeline, was found dead in the woods. Nobody knows what happened and Roslyn’s life isn’t the same anymore. Her sister was everything to her, how is she supposed to live on?
Then 6 mysterious girls show up in town and Roslyn is immediately drawn into this group. The girls ask her to join them one evening and she goes up to meet them. But meeting them wasn’t a coincidence. Soon learning that her sister spent time with this group, the summer before she died.
Roslyn needs to know what happened to her sister, she’s determined to do anything. Including joining this group of girls on a road trip. But getting into a car full of strangers and lying to your parents about your whereabouts? Sure, good idea!!!!
Early on, Roslyn learns that these girls keep a secret: all were on the brink of losing their lives, but were spared by Death himself. But this doesn’t happen easily, they made a deal. Their lives are saved, so Death gifted them the touch to take the souls of others. All they have to do is travel the country and obey Death’s wishes.
Roslyn strikes a deal with Death: if she joins these girls and helps him kill on his behalf, he will show her what happened to Adeline.
This entire book is so binge worthy, I couldn’t put it down. It was suspenseful, mysterious, life-questionable, grieving, yet beautiful. I cried nearing the end because I too have a strong relationship with my sister. I’d do anything for her and it would kill me to lose her. The ending was pretty open, yet closed enough for the story if that makes sense?!?!? Amazing def recommend!
Absolutely loved this and cannot wait to read more of Henderson’s work!
Thank you Penguin YA and export team for this arc copy. 🤍
When I Was Death is an ya speculative horror about a group of girls doing Death’s bidding. When they do, their own lives are spared.
A year has passed since Roslyn’s sister, Adeline, was found dead in the woods. Nobody knows what happened and Roslyn’s life isn’t the same anymore. Her sister was everything to her, how is she supposed to live on?
Then 6 mysterious girls show up in town and Roslyn is immediately drawn into this group. The girls ask her to join them one evening and she goes up to meet them. But meeting them wasn’t a coincidence. Soon learning that her sister spent time with this group, the summer before she died.
Roslyn needs to know what happened to her sister, she’s determined to do anything. Including joining this group of girls on a road trip. But getting into a car full of strangers and lying to your parents about your whereabouts? Sure, good idea!!!!
Early on, Roslyn learns that these girls keep a secret: all were on the brink of losing their lives, but were spared by Death himself. But this doesn’t happen easily, they made a deal. Their lives are saved, so Death gifted them the touch to take the souls of others. All they have to do is travel the country and obey Death’s wishes.
Roslyn strikes a deal with Death: if she joins these girls and helps him kill on his behalf, he will show her what happened to Adeline.
This entire book is so binge worthy, I couldn’t put it down. It was suspenseful, mysterious, life-questionable, grieving, yet beautiful. I cried nearing the end because I too have a strong relationship with my sister. I’d do anything for her and it would kill me to lose her. The ending was pretty open, yet closed enough for the story if that makes sense?!?!? Amazing def recommend!
Absolutely loved this and cannot wait to read more of Henderson’s work!
Thank you Penguin YA and export team for this arc copy. 🤍
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Thank you so much Penguin Books for sending this proof copy! This was such an interesting read 🩷
There is this group of girls who are chosen by Death. They are doomed to die young but make a deal with Death. In exchange for staying alive, they have to do Deaths bidding and reap souls. Roslyn joins this group so she can finally find out how and why her sister died after spending the summer with the same girls 👀
This book has some spooky vibes but it doesn't get really scary. Not that it's necessary, because the vibes are already pretty dark with all these deaths. A lot of mental problems are also discussed and that gives this book so much more depth.
The group of girls is fun and their dymanics are interesting. I have to be honest that not all the girls felt just as important and it took me a while to keep them apart. Three of them had a clear personality and were fun to read about but the other three could have been one and the same imo 🫣 But I understand the group needed to be a bit bigger so maybe it's for the best like this
The storyline is so cool and sometimes it felt like a cult but in a good way. I was getting sucked into their lives and liked reading about their 'assignments'. Overall, it is a really enthralling book!
And if you still need more convincing; Death comes around quite often and he/it is really sneaky and intriguing 🤭
There is this group of girls who are chosen by Death. They are doomed to die young but make a deal with Death. In exchange for staying alive, they have to do Deaths bidding and reap souls. Roslyn joins this group so she can finally find out how and why her sister died after spending the summer with the same girls 👀
This book has some spooky vibes but it doesn't get really scary. Not that it's necessary, because the vibes are already pretty dark with all these deaths. A lot of mental problems are also discussed and that gives this book so much more depth.
The group of girls is fun and their dymanics are interesting. I have to be honest that not all the girls felt just as important and it took me a while to keep them apart. Three of them had a clear personality and were fun to read about but the other three could have been one and the same imo 🫣 But I understand the group needed to be a bit bigger so maybe it's for the best like this
The storyline is so cool and sometimes it felt like a cult but in a good way. I was getting sucked into their lives and liked reading about their 'assignments'. Overall, it is a really enthralling book!
And if you still need more convincing; Death comes around quite often and he/it is really sneaky and intriguing 🤭
February 11, 2026
3.5⭐️
This started strong and pulled me into the mystery immediately.
The book handles dark themes - grief, guilt, death, suicide, and mental health - through the lens of female friendship and sibling relationships. Henderson captured those complicated dynamics well, and I was invested in where the story was going.
What held this back: The ending wrapped up too neatly for the darkness the book explored. After such a strong start and being fully bought into the mystery, I expected more from the resolution.
You'll love this if: You're drawn to YA horror that explores grief and complex female relationships.
Content warnings: Suicide, mental illness, depression, grief, panic attacks
Thank you to G.P. Putnam's Sons Books and NetGalley for the advance copy.
This started strong and pulled me into the mystery immediately.
The book handles dark themes - grief, guilt, death, suicide, and mental health - through the lens of female friendship and sibling relationships. Henderson captured those complicated dynamics well, and I was invested in where the story was going.
What held this back: The ending wrapped up too neatly for the darkness the book explored. After such a strong start and being fully bought into the mystery, I expected more from the resolution.
You'll love this if: You're drawn to YA horror that explores grief and complex female relationships.
Content warnings: Suicide, mental illness, depression, grief, panic attacks
Thank you to G.P. Putnam's Sons Books and NetGalley for the advance copy.
December 29, 2025
Thank you NetGalley for the arc for my honest review! I’m new to this author’s work, and I absolutely love her writing! It’s incredibly raw and authentic. I was hooked from the very beginning of this book! I was fascinated by the topic of death and grief. The characters are incredibly strong and vibrant! This book is going to be the book of the year! Five stars!
March 15, 2026
4 ⭐️
This was pretty interesting. The fact she wanted to figure out why her sister died . And then she was busted by a group of girls who helped death kill … it was pretty good . I enjoyed the story and how it ended . I’m looking forward to reading more from this author .
This was pretty interesting. The fact she wanted to figure out why her sister died . And then she was busted by a group of girls who helped death kill … it was pretty good . I enjoyed the story and how it ended . I’m looking forward to reading more from this author .
October 5, 2025
Actual rating: 3.5 stars
December 6, 2025
Nooo I guess there was bound to be an Alexis Henderson book I didn’t absolutely love.
I didn’t dislike this but it wasn’t my favourite. Will update with full thoughts later - but I feel like I didn’t connect with any of the characters enough to be impacted by the huge emotional moments. Also not a fan of the ending and how things wrapped up, a little baffled by some characters’ decisions.
I did really enjoy the writing style and found this interesting to read - the payoff was meh though
thank you penguin teen canada for the eARC!
I didn’t dislike this but it wasn’t my favourite. Will update with full thoughts later - but I feel like I didn’t connect with any of the characters enough to be impacted by the huge emotional moments. Also not a fan of the ending and how things wrapped up, a little baffled by some characters’ decisions.
I did really enjoy the writing style and found this interesting to read - the payoff was meh though
thank you penguin teen canada for the eARC!
Want to read
June 13, 2025From Penguin website:
"A group of teen girls does Death incarnate’s bidding in this haunting speculative young adult novel by the author of The Year of the Witching.
Roslyn Volk isn’t herself anymore. It’s been a year since her sister, Adeline, died in the woods under mysterious circumstances, and Roslyn is still tormented by her absence. So when the elusive caravan of girls that Adeline spent her last summer with rolls back into town, Roslyn joins them to finally figure out what happened to her sister.
Strange, beautiful, and intriguing, the girls are closed off from the world. And as it turns out, they’re brought together by a force more sinister than Roslyn’s nightmares could have conjured up: Death himself.
Death has spared the girls from untimely endings, and to pay for their lives, the girls travel the country reaping souls on his behalf. Now Roslyn must decide if finding closure is worth the price of striking the same deal."
March 11, 2026
A mysterious death of a sister, a gaggle of odd girls at a diner, and a road trip to solve it all.
I love that others loved this, it just wasn't for me. As soon as I started I realized it was going to be a struggle. It's a lot of telling and not a lot of showing. We're told our main character is struggling, told she feels a connection, told she just leaves because she has to. It's hard to ever really establish a connection to characters when there isn't a lot of talking or discussion, just page upon page of the main character telling us things.
I did like that the story tried to tackle grief and handling loss - that it's not linear and that maybe we should all seek counseling when we're struggling. I also liked that it was a group of women, trying to be strong and support each other.
A huge thank you to the author and publisher for providing an e-ARC via Netgalley. This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.
I love that others loved this, it just wasn't for me. As soon as I started I realized it was going to be a struggle. It's a lot of telling and not a lot of showing. We're told our main character is struggling, told she feels a connection, told she just leaves because she has to. It's hard to ever really establish a connection to characters when there isn't a lot of talking or discussion, just page upon page of the main character telling us things.
I did like that the story tried to tackle grief and handling loss - that it's not linear and that maybe we should all seek counseling when we're struggling. I also liked that it was a group of women, trying to be strong and support each other.
A huge thank you to the author and publisher for providing an e-ARC via Netgalley. This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.
March 9, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers for providing a copy of this novel!
I thought this book was pretty good. I liked Roslyn and her journey of coping with grief while also trying to find herself. I don't really have that strong of an opinion of the other girls though. It's not that they were bad characters, this was just a relatively short book, so we didn't really get a lot of time to get to know any of them. I "kind of" disliked the love interest, Shiloh, because of something that happens later on in the book. However, I only say "kind of" because I liked what resulted from the reveal. I was expecting Roslyn and Shiloh's relationship to end a certain and was pleasantly surprised that it didn't end the way I thought. Sorry for all the vague comments, I just don't want to spoil anything.
As for the story, I thought it was alright. It was a quick read, more so because of the length and writing style though. The plot honestly kind of frustrated me a little. I don't really know why though. The premise of this novel is that a group of girls essentially work as grim reapers and kill people. Now, the girls in question are very torn up about it and hate Death for turning them into murderers. But like... they aren't murderers? These people were going to die regardless. The girls aren't "killing" anyone technically, they are essentially guiding these people to the afterlife. It's weird. While I understand the girls' plights, in theory, I just can't help but think they are being big babies about it. I don't know why I feel this way. I think this is a me problem. But I would just get annoyed any time any of the girls would start talking about how horrible Death is and how he is a monster. People die. It sucks. Grief is hard. But again, everybody dies. It isn't like Death is just going around killing people for fun. He is simply the physical embodiment of an idea. Anyway though, I don't know why this bothered me so much. I remember one of the girls talked about how she kind of thought of being with these people during their last moments was a blessing. So that was nice, I wish more of the girls thought of it that way. Oh well though, I don't know why this annoyed me so much.
Anyway, this was a pretty good read. While there were some things I didn't enjoy, I really liked Roslyn's journey of learning to cope with her grief.
I thought this book was pretty good. I liked Roslyn and her journey of coping with grief while also trying to find herself. I don't really have that strong of an opinion of the other girls though. It's not that they were bad characters, this was just a relatively short book, so we didn't really get a lot of time to get to know any of them. I "kind of" disliked the love interest, Shiloh, because of something that happens later on in the book. However, I only say "kind of" because I liked what resulted from the reveal. I was expecting Roslyn and Shiloh's relationship to end a certain and was pleasantly surprised that it didn't end the way I thought. Sorry for all the vague comments, I just don't want to spoil anything.
As for the story, I thought it was alright. It was a quick read, more so because of the length and writing style though. The plot honestly kind of frustrated me a little. I don't really know why though. The premise of this novel is that a group of girls essentially work as grim reapers and kill people. Now, the girls in question are very torn up about it and hate Death for turning them into murderers. But like... they aren't murderers? These people were going to die regardless. The girls aren't "killing" anyone technically, they are essentially guiding these people to the afterlife. It's weird. While I understand the girls' plights, in theory, I just can't help but think they are being big babies about it. I don't know why I feel this way. I think this is a me problem. But I would just get annoyed any time any of the girls would start talking about how horrible Death is and how he is a monster. People die. It sucks. Grief is hard. But again, everybody dies. It isn't like Death is just going around killing people for fun. He is simply the physical embodiment of an idea. Anyway though, I don't know why this bothered me so much. I remember one of the girls talked about how she kind of thought of being with these people during their last moments was a blessing. So that was nice, I wish more of the girls thought of it that way. Oh well though, I don't know why this annoyed me so much.
Anyway, this was a pretty good read. While there were some things I didn't enjoy, I really liked Roslyn's journey of learning to cope with her grief.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I wasn’t expecting this book to be quite so dark. Going in, I thought I was getting a slightly eerie YA mystery with a supernatural twist, but "When I Was Death" leans heavily into grief, trauma, and the uncomfortable spaces in between life and loss.
The story follows Roslyn, who is reeling after her sister Adeline’s “mysterious” death. Determined to uncover what really happened, she begins digging into Adeline’s final days. Along the way, she’s befriended by five girls she feels strangely drawn to, only to discover they all knew her sister. That revelation opens the door to the novel’s central concept: each of these girls had once been on the brink of dying and were saved by Death himself. In return, they now do his bidding.
Death is portrayed as a male figure. He seems calm, calculating, and unsettlingly persuasive. When he approaches Roslyn with the same offer (answers about Adeline in exchange for working for him) the stakes shift from mystery to moral dilemma. I really enjoyed this darker interpretation of Death and the idea of bargains made in desperation. It added an almost mythic undertone to the story.
The book briefly touches on heavy themes including suicide, murder, depression, insecurity, and grief. I appreciated how it explored the different stages of mourning, from the bargaining, the anger, the desperate need to pinpoint where things went wrong and what might have changed the outcome. That emotional core felt raw and, at times, painfully honest.
However, for me, the romance element didn’t quite fit. It felt unnecessary in a story already carrying so much emotional weight, and it slightly diluted the intensity of Roslyn’s journey. I found myself more invested in the friendships and the eerie dynamic with Death than any romantic subplot.
Overall, this is a solid 3.5-star read for me. It’s dark, thought-provoking, and heavier than I anticipated, with an intriguing premise and strong emotional themes. While it didn’t completely win me over, it definitely left an impression and readers who enjoy morally grey supernatural figures and grief-driven mysteries may find themselves drawn into Roslyn’s story.
The story follows Roslyn, who is reeling after her sister Adeline’s “mysterious” death. Determined to uncover what really happened, she begins digging into Adeline’s final days. Along the way, she’s befriended by five girls she feels strangely drawn to, only to discover they all knew her sister. That revelation opens the door to the novel’s central concept: each of these girls had once been on the brink of dying and were saved by Death himself. In return, they now do his bidding.
Death is portrayed as a male figure. He seems calm, calculating, and unsettlingly persuasive. When he approaches Roslyn with the same offer (answers about Adeline in exchange for working for him) the stakes shift from mystery to moral dilemma. I really enjoyed this darker interpretation of Death and the idea of bargains made in desperation. It added an almost mythic undertone to the story.
The book briefly touches on heavy themes including suicide, murder, depression, insecurity, and grief. I appreciated how it explored the different stages of mourning, from the bargaining, the anger, the desperate need to pinpoint where things went wrong and what might have changed the outcome. That emotional core felt raw and, at times, painfully honest.
However, for me, the romance element didn’t quite fit. It felt unnecessary in a story already carrying so much emotional weight, and it slightly diluted the intensity of Roslyn’s journey. I found myself more invested in the friendships and the eerie dynamic with Death than any romantic subplot.
Overall, this is a solid 3.5-star read for me. It’s dark, thought-provoking, and heavier than I anticipated, with an intriguing premise and strong emotional themes. While it didn’t completely win me over, it definitely left an impression and readers who enjoy morally grey supernatural figures and grief-driven mysteries may find themselves drawn into Roslyn’s story.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 18, 2026
This book started off really strong for me. The murder-mystery element was what hooked me right away, and I was fully invested in uncovering the truth behind it.
Our FMC, Rosalyn, is grieving her sister, who died by suicide a year ago. But she’s not convinced that’s what actually happened. There was something off about her sister’s behavior leading up to her death, and that lingering unease drives Rosalyn to keep searching for answers. When a mysterious group of girls, who traveled with her sister the summer before she died, suddenly reappear in her life, things take an even stranger turn.
I genuinely thought this was going to be a murder mystery with a hint of fantasy, and I was so on board for that. Unfortunately, after that point, the story veered in a direction that just didn’t work for me. The shift felt strange, and the overall direction started to feel… off.
The ending, especially, felt a little too convenient and predictable. I remember thinking, please don’t let it end this way, and then it did. I’m not exactly disappointed, but I do wish the conclusion had been more satisfying, something that really paid off the emotional and narrative build-up.
Maybe this book just wasn’t for me, but I can still see how others might enjoy it.
Our FMC, Rosalyn, is grieving her sister, who died by suicide a year ago. But she’s not convinced that’s what actually happened. There was something off about her sister’s behavior leading up to her death, and that lingering unease drives Rosalyn to keep searching for answers. When a mysterious group of girls, who traveled with her sister the summer before she died, suddenly reappear in her life, things take an even stranger turn.
I genuinely thought this was going to be a murder mystery with a hint of fantasy, and I was so on board for that. Unfortunately, after that point, the story veered in a direction that just didn’t work for me. The shift felt strange, and the overall direction started to feel… off.
The ending, especially, felt a little too convenient and predictable. I remember thinking, please don’t let it end this way, and then it did. I’m not exactly disappointed, but I do wish the conclusion had been more satisfying, something that really paid off the emotional and narrative build-up.
Maybe this book just wasn’t for me, but I can still see how others might enjoy it.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
4.5 stars
Thanks to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
When I Was Death was such a beautifully written book about death and grief. After Roslyn's sister dies unexpectedly, she finds herself drawn to this group of young women who knew her sister. Roslyn finds out that they all have made a deal with Death to prolong their own lives, and Roslyn makes a deal of her own to try to figure out what happened to her sister. With this deal, she needs to help Death claim his victims.
Throughout the story, Roslyn finds out more about the young women from this group, as well as her sister. She also finds out more about herself and is able to come to terms with the loss of her sister and how to let go, in order to move on with her life. Some of my favorite parts of this story were the interactions that Roslyn had with the people who were dying. I won't give anything away, but that experience really gave Roslyn a lot of perspective for her own journey.
This might be a YA novel, but there were a lot of gut-wrenching, emotional moments. This story was absolutely fantastic because of its uniqueness and how thought-provoking it was. I feel like this would be a great read for anyone trying to find a moment of comfort after experiencing loss.
Thanks to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
When I Was Death was such a beautifully written book about death and grief. After Roslyn's sister dies unexpectedly, she finds herself drawn to this group of young women who knew her sister. Roslyn finds out that they all have made a deal with Death to prolong their own lives, and Roslyn makes a deal of her own to try to figure out what happened to her sister. With this deal, she needs to help Death claim his victims.
Throughout the story, Roslyn finds out more about the young women from this group, as well as her sister. She also finds out more about herself and is able to come to terms with the loss of her sister and how to let go, in order to move on with her life. Some of my favorite parts of this story were the interactions that Roslyn had with the people who were dying. I won't give anything away, but that experience really gave Roslyn a lot of perspective for her own journey.
This might be a YA novel, but there were a lot of gut-wrenching, emotional moments. This story was absolutely fantastic because of its uniqueness and how thought-provoking it was. I feel like this would be a great read for anyone trying to find a moment of comfort after experiencing loss.
March 3, 2026
You know. I got a little worried that I might have finally met an Alexis Henderson book I wouldn’t love. I don’t know why i ever doubted her.
I believe this is her first YA and she did the switch spectacularly (i could be wrong). The cast of girls felt so real, so much like a codependent friend group i could feel at home in. The entire narrative arc surrounding grief was beautiful, and Alexis never shied away from the tragedy that comes with loss, even the expected ones.
There’s several heartbreaks to be found in these pages, but there’s also closure, and hopefulness, and putting together a full life from pieces of one.
Thank you to Netgalley, Alexis Henderson, and Penguin Young Readers Group for my advanced e copy.
I believe this is her first YA and she did the switch spectacularly (i could be wrong). The cast of girls felt so real, so much like a codependent friend group i could feel at home in. The entire narrative arc surrounding grief was beautiful, and Alexis never shied away from the tragedy that comes with loss, even the expected ones.
There’s several heartbreaks to be found in these pages, but there’s also closure, and hopefulness, and putting together a full life from pieces of one.
Thank you to Netgalley, Alexis Henderson, and Penguin Young Readers Group for my advanced e copy.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Despite some elements of this story which didn’t totally connect for me, I still really enjoyed it, I just thought the author could have gone so much further with the characters. It was perfectly pitched for the YA audience.
I did find Roslyn’s quest to uncover what happened to her sister a little grating, like she literally didn’t shut up about it the whole novel. However I liked how the ending came together and didn’t see the conclusion coming.
I’d like to read more by Alexis Henderson.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.
I did find Roslyn’s quest to uncover what happened to her sister a little grating, like she literally didn’t shut up about it the whole novel. However I liked how the ending came together and didn’t see the conclusion coming.
I’d like to read more by Alexis Henderson.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.
March 9, 2026
This book felt a bit like a short story that had been expanded into a novel. The core idea is genuinely original, and there are several moments and images that I think will stick with me for a while. The opening especially is very strong.
This is definitely different than Alexis Henderson’s prior novels, but it’s a unique read and I’m glad I read it. 3.5 stars rounded up to 4.
Thank you to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for the ARC.
This is definitely different than Alexis Henderson’s prior novels, but it’s a unique read and I’m glad I read it. 3.5 stars rounded up to 4.
Thank you to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for the ARC.
March 4, 2026
2.5/5 I’m being generous because it’s young adult fiction. I could tell midway this wasn’t working for me but hoped a clever ending would redeem it. Nope.
This was my fourth Alexis Henderson novel and I think I’m done now. ‘House of Hunger’ is the first Henderson book I read and I loved it. Next time I’m tempted by a new release I think I’ll give it a reread to see how it’s held up.
This was my fourth Alexis Henderson novel and I think I’m done now. ‘House of Hunger’ is the first Henderson book I read and I loved it. Next time I’m tempted by a new release I think I’ll give it a reread to see how it’s held up.
March 7, 2026
3.75/5 stars
listen. if death keeps sponsoring me and gives me basically unlimited access to money, i'd follow along with whatever he asks me to do
listen. if death keeps sponsoring me and gives me basically unlimited access to money, i'd follow along with whatever he asks me to do
March 4, 2026
“When she died, I became nothing at all.”
If you are looking for a young adult horror novel that’ll make you feel like you are watching a movie then, this may be your next read.
-found family
-complicated sibling dynamics
-grappling with death & grief
-biracial FMC
-vividly descriptive
-beautifully written
-morally gray characters
-steady pacing
This was such a creative take on Death as an entity. The story immediately pulls you in & takes you through several emotions. You will feel deeply for the FMC & will want to see her journey through.
Overall, A. Henderson never disappoints.
If Alexis Henderson is writing it, I’m reading it.
If you are looking for a young adult horror novel that’ll make you feel like you are watching a movie then, this may be your next read.
-found family
-complicated sibling dynamics
-grappling with death & grief
-biracial FMC
-vividly descriptive
-beautifully written
-morally gray characters
-steady pacing
This was such a creative take on Death as an entity. The story immediately pulls you in & takes you through several emotions. You will feel deeply for the FMC & will want to see her journey through.
Overall, A. Henderson never disappoints.
If Alexis Henderson is writing it, I’m reading it.
December 26, 2025
I’m a bit conflicted about When I Was Death by Alexis Henderson. Boiled down to its most basic plot, it is a YA Horror Fantasy about a girl whose sister mysteriously passes away and she finds herself joining a group of eccentric teen girls who work for Death himself.
The premise is, of course, intriguing at baseline. Diving in to the actual story, I believe it easily holds your intrigue. The cast of teen girls we meet are all very unique and add their own flavor to the story, though I do believe there were one or two too many girls in the group, which cluttered things a bit.
So where does my conflict come in? I think this story, as a YA story, is both an important one that could be very helpful to a teen, but, conversely, for some teens, this could be a very harmful story. I think it’s important to discuss darker themes in YA books for a plethora of reasons. But, these same themes are not necessarily appropriate for everyone. There is absolutely triggering content. First, there were no listed trigger warnings in the ARC version, which I was surprised about and hope they are included in the final copies. Next, this book is definitely upper YA. Not that parents should necessarily police what their kids read, but often High School aged kids are reading whatever they chose to pick up with less adult interference, but this is the type of book that I think a parent may want to be aware their kid is reading, because the themes could be harmful to certain kids in vulnerable places. Lastly, and conversely, I think it’s important that stories like this exist in the young adult space, as they involve very important themes and can lead to good discussions about death and mental health, if handled with care.
I do think the overall story works better with a teen cast rather than adults, but I am curious why this was Alexis Henderson’s first foray into the YA space.
Overall, I enjoyed many things about this book and found it quick to consume, however it wasn’t necessarily my type of story as it unfolded. I liked the unique concepts but was divided on the darker themes. A good book but potentially a controversial one.
The premise is, of course, intriguing at baseline. Diving in to the actual story, I believe it easily holds your intrigue. The cast of teen girls we meet are all very unique and add their own flavor to the story, though I do believe there were one or two too many girls in the group, which cluttered things a bit.
So where does my conflict come in? I think this story, as a YA story, is both an important one that could be very helpful to a teen, but, conversely, for some teens, this could be a very harmful story. I think it’s important to discuss darker themes in YA books for a plethora of reasons. But, these same themes are not necessarily appropriate for everyone. There is absolutely triggering content. First, there were no listed trigger warnings in the ARC version, which I was surprised about and hope they are included in the final copies. Next, this book is definitely upper YA. Not that parents should necessarily police what their kids read, but often High School aged kids are reading whatever they chose to pick up with less adult interference, but this is the type of book that I think a parent may want to be aware their kid is reading, because the themes could be harmful to certain kids in vulnerable places. Lastly, and conversely, I think it’s important that stories like this exist in the young adult space, as they involve very important themes and can lead to good discussions about death and mental health, if handled with care.
I do think the overall story works better with a teen cast rather than adults, but I am curious why this was Alexis Henderson’s first foray into the YA space.
Overall, I enjoyed many things about this book and found it quick to consume, however it wasn’t necessarily my type of story as it unfolded. I liked the unique concepts but was divided on the darker themes. A good book but potentially a controversial one.
February 16, 2026
Booksta Link✨
3.75 🌟
This was short, sharp, and incredibly powerful. When I Was Death feels, in so many ways, like a love letter to death itself but not in a morbid or gratuitous way. Instead, it’s a story about grief. About the loss of loved ones. About mourning in all its complicated, consuming forms. And somehow, it holds both the heaviness of loss and the strange tenderness that can live alongside it.
I was immediately drawn in by the Final Destination comparison, and I can confidently say it didn’t disappoint. There’s that same looming inevitability, that tension humming just beneath the surface but this story goes deeper. It isn’t just about death coming for you. It’s about what death means. How it moves. How it lingers. How it shapes the living.
For such a short book, the way Henderson builds the group of girls is exceptional. Each dynamic feels intentional, layered, and real. We’re given just enough to understand them and their bonds, their fractures, their loyalty - without the story ever feeling rushed. That balance is impressive. It’s fast-paced, but never hollow.
What struck me most was the mythology of death itself and how it works, how the girls work for it. The mechanics felt thoughtful and fully realised, not just a backdrop but a living, breathing force within the story. It added weight to every choice, every consequence.
And that ending. Bittersweet in the best way. I was left both sad and strangely comforted, it felt like a full-circle moment that honoured everything the story was trying to say about loss and acceptance.
This one may be brief, but it leaves an emotional mark that lingers long after you’ve turned the final page.
Thank you to Penguin Teen Australia for sending me a gorgeous physical proof in exchange for an honest review — I’m so grateful to have experienced this one early.
3.75 🌟
This was short, sharp, and incredibly powerful. When I Was Death feels, in so many ways, like a love letter to death itself but not in a morbid or gratuitous way. Instead, it’s a story about grief. About the loss of loved ones. About mourning in all its complicated, consuming forms. And somehow, it holds both the heaviness of loss and the strange tenderness that can live alongside it.
I was immediately drawn in by the Final Destination comparison, and I can confidently say it didn’t disappoint. There’s that same looming inevitability, that tension humming just beneath the surface but this story goes deeper. It isn’t just about death coming for you. It’s about what death means. How it moves. How it lingers. How it shapes the living.
For such a short book, the way Henderson builds the group of girls is exceptional. Each dynamic feels intentional, layered, and real. We’re given just enough to understand them and their bonds, their fractures, their loyalty - without the story ever feeling rushed. That balance is impressive. It’s fast-paced, but never hollow.
What struck me most was the mythology of death itself and how it works, how the girls work for it. The mechanics felt thoughtful and fully realised, not just a backdrop but a living, breathing force within the story. It added weight to every choice, every consequence.
And that ending. Bittersweet in the best way. I was left both sad and strangely comforted, it felt like a full-circle moment that honoured everything the story was trying to say about loss and acceptance.
This one may be brief, but it leaves an emotional mark that lingers long after you’ve turned the final page.
Thank you to Penguin Teen Australia for sending me a gorgeous physical proof in exchange for an honest review — I’m so grateful to have experienced this one early.
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