What do you think?
Rate this book
229 pages, Paperback
First published April 9, 2014
“What the hell are you guys doing?” said Cooper.
“Oh, good!” said a dwarf whose name Cooper had forgotten. “Could you give us a hand?”
“I can give you a foot in the ass if you don’t get that fucking tree out of my way.” Cooper didn’t like many of the dwarves at the Whore’s Head Inn, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. Dave was easy enough to figure out. He didn’t like Dave because Dave sucked. But he didn’t have that specific a reason not to like the guy asking him to help move the tree.
It’s like if the Fellowship of the Ring all got drunk on Windex together.
“Do you use zombies (for workers)?”
Chester glared at Julian. “What kind of sick question is that?”
“I’m sorry,” said Julian. “It’s just that I know a guy up the road who –“
“Simon Peppercorn.”
“Yeah, that’s him.”
“You boys best steer clear of folks like that,” said Chester. “He’s a practitioner of the Dark Arts.”
“Who the fuck is Simon Pep—“
Julian knocked Cooper on the forehead with his quarterstaff. “I warned you.”
“We’s a good gods-fearin’ family,” said Chester, raising his chin and puffing out his chest. “We use slaves.”
Dave facepalmed himself. Tim swigged back an entire glass of ‘lemonade’. Cooper farted.
“Gods have mercy, boy!” said Chester, waving his hand violently in front of his face. “You practice some Dark Arts yourself, don’t you!”