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The Joy of Missing Out: Finding Balance in a Wired World
There's no doubt that technology has overrun our lives. Over the past few decades, the world has embraced "progress" and we're living with the resultant clicking, beeping, anxiety-inducing frenzy. But a creative backlash is gathering steam, helping us cope with the avalanche of data that threatens to overwhelm us daily through our computers, tablets, and smartphones.
Digital Detox considers the technologically focused life, with its impacts on our children, relationships, communities, health, work, and more, and suggests opportunities for those of us longing to cultivate a richer on- and off-line existence. By examining the connected world through the lens of her own internet fast, Christina Crook creates a convincing case for increasing intentionality in our day-to-day lives. Using historical data, typewritten letters, chapter challenges, and personal accounts, she invites us to explore a new way of living, beyond our steady state of distracted connectedness.
Most of us can't throw away our smart phone or cut ourselves off from the internet. But we can all rethink our relationship with the digital world, discovering new ways of introducing balance and discipline to the role of technology in our lives. This book is a must read for anyone wishing to rediscover quietness of mind and seeking a sense of peace amidst the cacophony of the modern world.
Christina Crook is a wordsmith and communications professional and instigator of the project Letters from a Luddite, which chronicled her thirty-one day internet fast and fueled her passion for exploring the intersection of technology, relationships, and joy.
Digital Detox considers the technologically focused life, with its impacts on our children, relationships, communities, health, work, and more, and suggests opportunities for those of us longing to cultivate a richer on- and off-line existence. By examining the connected world through the lens of her own internet fast, Christina Crook creates a convincing case for increasing intentionality in our day-to-day lives. Using historical data, typewritten letters, chapter challenges, and personal accounts, she invites us to explore a new way of living, beyond our steady state of distracted connectedness.
Most of us can't throw away our smart phone or cut ourselves off from the internet. But we can all rethink our relationship with the digital world, discovering new ways of introducing balance and discipline to the role of technology in our lives. This book is a must read for anyone wishing to rediscover quietness of mind and seeking a sense of peace amidst the cacophony of the modern world.
Christina Crook is a wordsmith and communications professional and instigator of the project Letters from a Luddite, which chronicled her thirty-one day internet fast and fueled her passion for exploring the intersection of technology, relationships, and joy.
208 pages, Paperback
First published October 20, 2014
44 people are currently reading
1389 people want to read
About the author
Christina Crook
3 books20 followers“The Marie Kondo of Digital” —Harper’s Bazaar
Christina Crook is a pioneer and leading voice in the field of digital well-being.
She is the award-winning author of The Joy of Missing Out: Finding Balance in a Wired World, the harbinger of the global #JOMO movement, and Good Burdens: How to Live Joyfully in a Digital Age.
Christina regularly shares her insights about technology and our daily lives in international media including The New York Times, Psychology Today, and Harper's Bazaar. Christina is also the creator and host of the JOMO(cast) podcast where she interviews mindful tech leaders embracing the joy of missing out to thrive in a rapidly changing world.
Christina was listed as a changemaker in All Tech is Human's 2020 Responsible Guide to Tech, co-presented by NYU's Center for Policy. (That's her on the cover with pink hair.) She leads Navigate, an action-oriented digital well-being program serving creative leaders (at Oxford, Adobe, Gimlet Media, Shopify, and more) who want to navigate the digital world on their own terms.
Her writing has appeared in Utne Reader, CBC.ca, Christianity Today, UPPERCASE magazine, the Literary Review of Canada, and Religious New Service.
Crook has worked for some of Canada’s most recognized media organizations, including the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and Rogers Digital Media. She is a graduate of the Simon Fraser University School of Communication and her TEDx talk, “Letting Go of Technology: Pursuing a People-focused Future,” was presented as part of the 2013 Global TEDWomen conference.
Christina sits on the board of Second Nature Journal, the publication of the International Institute of the Study of Technology and Christianity, and is a member of the Media Ecology Association.
She and her family live in Toronto’s Junction neighbourhood where they host their annual neighbourhood pumpkin carving party.
Christina Crook is a pioneer and leading voice in the field of digital well-being.
She is the award-winning author of The Joy of Missing Out: Finding Balance in a Wired World, the harbinger of the global #JOMO movement, and Good Burdens: How to Live Joyfully in a Digital Age.
Christina regularly shares her insights about technology and our daily lives in international media including The New York Times, Psychology Today, and Harper's Bazaar. Christina is also the creator and host of the JOMO(cast) podcast where she interviews mindful tech leaders embracing the joy of missing out to thrive in a rapidly changing world.
Christina was listed as a changemaker in All Tech is Human's 2020 Responsible Guide to Tech, co-presented by NYU's Center for Policy. (That's her on the cover with pink hair.) She leads Navigate, an action-oriented digital well-being program serving creative leaders (at Oxford, Adobe, Gimlet Media, Shopify, and more) who want to navigate the digital world on their own terms.
Her writing has appeared in Utne Reader, CBC.ca, Christianity Today, UPPERCASE magazine, the Literary Review of Canada, and Religious New Service.
Crook has worked for some of Canada’s most recognized media organizations, including the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and Rogers Digital Media. She is a graduate of the Simon Fraser University School of Communication and her TEDx talk, “Letting Go of Technology: Pursuing a People-focused Future,” was presented as part of the 2013 Global TEDWomen conference.
Christina sits on the board of Second Nature Journal, the publication of the International Institute of the Study of Technology and Christianity, and is a member of the Media Ecology Association.
She and her family live in Toronto’s Junction neighbourhood where they host their annual neighbourhood pumpkin carving party.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
March 31, 2015
I received a free copy of this book from Goodreads First Reads in exchange for an honest review.
The book covers the challenges and solutions as well as the ramifications to our neglected selves through the 30 day experiment conducted by the author. During this time, she unplugged her life from all instant media. Including all things that most of us in the developed world use hourly, daily, (if not constantly) for work, entertainment and human interactions.
She made some very valid points. Very few people pick up their phones to call anyone anymore. We rely heavily on social media to tell us how our friends and family are doing. Rarely does anyone paint their life in an accurate light by these means. In the age of enlightenment, we are forgetting to be human.
As a computer/tablet/smartphone user, I have become accustomed to having information at my fingertips. Like many, I have given up reading the newspaper, going to the library for research, or buying birthday cards. I can complete all of these tasks at home in my jammies in a matter of minutes. I find that, as the writer explains, I become frustrated with waiting for anything. I have slowly evolved into a self-sustaining information sponge that is quickly losing social skills. Like many, I prefer to shop online to avoid people and hassles. There was a time when I loved the bustle of city life. Through technology, the easier ways has overpowered the healthier (both mental and physical) ways.
I tried the experiment for one day. When realizing that not having my phone also meant I also could not tell what time it was- it did made for an interesting and stressful day. Calling contacts while searching through the phonebook taught me that I am was ill prepared for my quest. It only got worse from there. When I got home that night, I vowed I would never leave my phone home again.
In all, the subjects presented in the book made me think. I find that standing in line for my coffee is less stressful because I no longer look at my barista and the others in front of me as machines. I see them clearer as humans. I have made a point to smile at others, saying please and thank you more.
While it may be impossible to live in a wireless-free world. There is a balance to be found. Some of my favorite evenings are spent with family, playing cards, my phone tucked forgotten in my purse deposited in another room of the house. Laughter is infectious, and memories made with people are more vivid than the text messages I have sent or received. And I always LOVE sitting in a quiet room, curled up in my favorite chair, my dog at my side, and a great BOOK in my hand.
Balance.
The author gave a ton of great suggestions, included lots of facts in our evolving technological age to date. My hat is off to her lasting the 30 days AND still maintaining a online blog. The typewriter alone would have killed me! As a woman with dyslexia, auto correct is my bestest of friends!
This book is worth the read.
Happy Reading.
The book covers the challenges and solutions as well as the ramifications to our neglected selves through the 30 day experiment conducted by the author. During this time, she unplugged her life from all instant media. Including all things that most of us in the developed world use hourly, daily, (if not constantly) for work, entertainment and human interactions.
She made some very valid points. Very few people pick up their phones to call anyone anymore. We rely heavily on social media to tell us how our friends and family are doing. Rarely does anyone paint their life in an accurate light by these means. In the age of enlightenment, we are forgetting to be human.
As a computer/tablet/smartphone user, I have become accustomed to having information at my fingertips. Like many, I have given up reading the newspaper, going to the library for research, or buying birthday cards. I can complete all of these tasks at home in my jammies in a matter of minutes. I find that, as the writer explains, I become frustrated with waiting for anything. I have slowly evolved into a self-sustaining information sponge that is quickly losing social skills. Like many, I prefer to shop online to avoid people and hassles. There was a time when I loved the bustle of city life. Through technology, the easier ways has overpowered the healthier (both mental and physical) ways.
I tried the experiment for one day. When realizing that not having my phone also meant I also could not tell what time it was- it did made for an interesting and stressful day. Calling contacts while searching through the phonebook taught me that I am was ill prepared for my quest. It only got worse from there. When I got home that night, I vowed I would never leave my phone home again.
In all, the subjects presented in the book made me think. I find that standing in line for my coffee is less stressful because I no longer look at my barista and the others in front of me as machines. I see them clearer as humans. I have made a point to smile at others, saying please and thank you more.
While it may be impossible to live in a wireless-free world. There is a balance to be found. Some of my favorite evenings are spent with family, playing cards, my phone tucked forgotten in my purse deposited in another room of the house. Laughter is infectious, and memories made with people are more vivid than the text messages I have sent or received. And I always LOVE sitting in a quiet room, curled up in my favorite chair, my dog at my side, and a great BOOK in my hand.
Balance.
The author gave a ton of great suggestions, included lots of facts in our evolving technological age to date. My hat is off to her lasting the 30 days AND still maintaining a online blog. The typewriter alone would have killed me! As a woman with dyslexia, auto correct is my bestest of friends!
This book is worth the read.
Happy Reading.
February 14, 2016
This book is light on evidence and heavy on anecdote. I was hoping for something a bit more meaty. Ironically, for a book that advocates deep engagement, I found the thesis to be rather shallow and smug. I feel it’s a ‘once-over-lightly’ for the already converted rather than designed to challenge attitudes.
April 20, 2015
When I was contacted if I wanted to do a book review as a follow-up to the post on the JOMO diet I did a while back, I was delighted. Not only did this feel like a huge validation for a blog that is still growing, but it also meant that someone had gone and done this and had a wealth of personal insights to share. Excellent!
Expanding upon her TEDx talk, Christina wrote down in detail how she feels that while technology is a boon, there is also another side to the story. Reinforcing her beliefs with excerpts from other great works such as Nicholas Carr’s The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains we learn more of the price we pay for living in a world that is ‘always on’.
Christina then introduces us to her 1 month internet fast, and how she went about this. She acknowledges that it can be difficult for some to do this. However reading about the experience is quite inspiring even if we do not go as far ourselves. I personally felt a certain sense of nostalgia because I’ve known the world before we had the internet and mobile phones. Her letters to her friends brought back pleasant memories of having pen pals and the care that went into picking a nice stationary and sharing your thoughts and experiences on paper before putting them into the envelope and mailing it out by post. And the happiness you felt when you received a letter back. I think for younger generations it can be an interesting learning experience too, to discover how basic things we take for granted take more effort and consideration when you take the technology away.
A fast is common in many religions in order to experience one’s faith much stronger as well as grow in it, and even though you might not consider yourself religious there is something to be had in it. Disconnecting yourself forces you to be more present and aware, as Christina herself discovered. It also instils gratitude for that we never questioned. And even after we return to our old ways the lessons from the experience will stay with us and allow us to have a more balanced experience.
One final consideration of our connectedness is how it can make us unhappy without even realizing it. Social media is often a façade on which most are inclined to only share the best and even play a persona that is not their true self. Watch how many likes we get when we post a happy picture or status update, but when we have some bad news to share there can be an awkward silence. In extreme cases, which I’ve personally experienced, others will unfriend you because you are ‘a downer’. Is this not unfortunate that the technology which allows us to share our human experiences is seemingly only reserved for that which is nice or funny? No wonder then that we start to question ourselves or feel we are not good enough when our friend posts pictures of their latest vacation while we would risk our financial health doing the same.
If this has piqued your interest even a little, I encourage you to pick up the book. It’s a small price for something that may vastly improve your happiness and sense of balance in today’s world. I also encourage you to implement the lessons in your life as suits you best and when you do to lead by example as Christina does. Practice good discipline in what feels right for you so that your partner, children, family and friends see that things can be done differently in a way that works and brings joy. If we do this and spread it then we will all benefit and technology once again will become a blessing rather than a curse.
May 9, 2017
I found myself really impacted by this book. While it went a little long, and became a little preachy by the end, I did embrace the concepts. I have taken FB application off my phone, stopped watching endless amounts of TV without purpose, stopped surfing while watching TV (as have my whole family), stopped checking email as if it were a nervous tic. I'm considering adding in writing letters and picking up my writing books again. I've already started reading more. I find myself less anxious and somewhat less distracted already. I anticipate that after a week or more of this not-quite-a-fast, I'll be considerably less anxious which is my goal.
November 5, 2020
This review is difficult to write, because while I agree with the fundamental feeling that must have inspired this book, the book itself is a poorly researched, poorly written and poorly thought through excuse.
The plural of anecdote is not fact, something the author should try to remember. Just because she ran into an old friend randomly during her Internet fast doesn't mean that the universe is somehow arranged to give us the things we want just because we look up from our screens.
Also; the lenth of the list of disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has nothing to do with the development of modern technologies, so why is the author listing the two as if they are somehow connected? This is never explained in the book, but just feels like some kind of scare tactic. We might as well talk about how global warming has increased at the same time as the practice of slavery has decreased - but that doesn't mean that the lack of slaves is causing global warming...
The author talks about "The Internet" as if there is an equals sign between "Internet" and "Social Media". It is quite possible for people to use the Internet without blogging, posting images on Instagram, scouring Twitter and maintaining a social presence on Facebook. What she's actually arguing against in her book is the shift of social interaction from the "Real World" into small pockets on the Internet, but somewhere in the midst of her diatribe she forgets this and begins to blame all of the Internet for the problems that social media can cause. It's the old "Throwing out the baby with the bath water" problem all over again.
I would recommend that nobody ever reads this book, as the entire premise can be replaced with "Try to interact with people in real life rather than on the Internet. Oh, and encourage your children to do the same."
The plural of anecdote is not fact, something the author should try to remember. Just because she ran into an old friend randomly during her Internet fast doesn't mean that the universe is somehow arranged to give us the things we want just because we look up from our screens.
Also; the lenth of the list of disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has nothing to do with the development of modern technologies, so why is the author listing the two as if they are somehow connected? This is never explained in the book, but just feels like some kind of scare tactic. We might as well talk about how global warming has increased at the same time as the practice of slavery has decreased - but that doesn't mean that the lack of slaves is causing global warming...
The author talks about "The Internet" as if there is an equals sign between "Internet" and "Social Media". It is quite possible for people to use the Internet without blogging, posting images on Instagram, scouring Twitter and maintaining a social presence on Facebook. What she's actually arguing against in her book is the shift of social interaction from the "Real World" into small pockets on the Internet, but somewhere in the midst of her diatribe she forgets this and begins to blame all of the Internet for the problems that social media can cause. It's the old "Throwing out the baby with the bath water" problem all over again.
I would recommend that nobody ever reads this book, as the entire premise can be replaced with "Try to interact with people in real life rather than on the Internet. Oh, and encourage your children to do the same."
June 17, 2023
Normally I love stuff like this but this book somehow both lacked substance and was 50% quotes from other people. Almost nothing practical and also would misattribute ideas or not fully think them through. Like for example, Crook goes through the rise of technology and parallels it with the rise of disorders in the DSM... without ever discussing whether there is a connection or the huge historical issues with the DSM. The way you read it, you're supposed to assume the television has contributed 30 mental illnesses to society or something. Also it was incredible repetitive. At one point, she quotes a person, has four sentences, and then quotes them again with the word for word same quote. There are other books that are much more helpful when it comes to reflecting on technology.
March 15, 2015
Christina is brings up the subject in a knowledgeable and relatable way - how our being continually plugged in has effects/consequences that we should face/deal with. I finished the book feeling inspired to make changes in my life. I don't think it's an accident that I didn't post on Facebook for a couple weeks (and I have had a daily habit for several years). Just enjoyed the detox.
Pairs nicely with Nicholas Carr's The Shallows.
Pairs nicely with Nicholas Carr's The Shallows.
May 11, 2023
Good book! Written in 2015, so some of her examples are already outdated. It made me think, again, how important real life interaction is and that the overload my brain feels from too much information is a real thing. But I still don’t know if I’m brave enough to fully shut off my phone for a day, a week or a month!! 🥴
January 6, 2021
This book was inspiring. She is not talking about completely ditching the internet, although she does encourage you to step back and take a break from it. It's more about finding balance, and using the internet as a tool, rather than letting it rule your life. The author had taken a month off completely from the internet. She points out the good, the bad, and the ugly of the internet, and she talks through how you can use it to better your life.
I have been inspired to take a month off from the internet, and this is the month. Obviously, I'm not totally off the internet if I'm writing this review, but I am completely off social media and I'm drastically limiting any use of the internet. I'm on day 6 of my fast, and I can tell you that I am learning so much about myself already, I have a greater appreciation for certain things on the internet, and I am getting so much done.
I have been inspired to take a month off from the internet, and this is the month. Obviously, I'm not totally off the internet if I'm writing this review, but I am completely off social media and I'm drastically limiting any use of the internet. I'm on day 6 of my fast, and I can tell you that I am learning so much about myself already, I have a greater appreciation for certain things on the internet, and I am getting so much done.
January 9, 2026
This book has some good statistics and facts sprinkled throughout. Very eye opening. Just reaffirms what I’m already attempting to do with the amount of time I spend on my phone. But it was a little redundant. Just chapter after chapter reinforcing what was already stated. I did appreciate the “to do” / “action” lists at the end.
June 5, 2022
Highly recommend!
Now I’m going back through a second time and answering all the chapter questions etc. Great resource.
Now I’m going back through a second time and answering all the chapter questions etc. Great resource.
April 9, 2023
A refreshing and challenging concept to have JOY in missing out of the fast paced consumerism and tech world we live in. Thinking about the burdens that we get to carry instead of always wanting to wish them away
June 22, 2023
Great reflection on how our digital tools more and more become appendages of our daily life and less and less the tools we created them to be.
February 28, 2017
If I could, I'd give this 3 1/2 stars. I didn't love it and it's not the best book I've read on this subject, but the author does bring up some good points. The book at times felt more like a blog though. Maybe it's because the other book I'm reading is full of solid references that my expectations here were higher, but it seemed like even when the author referenced studies, the references were rather vague. It also became repetitive at times. I do agree with some of the observations, however.
2-3 years ago, I started tech-no Sundays. I was working far too many hours and needed the complete break once a week. I'd turn all my gadgets off and turn off the wifi Saturday night and not turn it on again until Monday morning when I'd start another too-long workweek. I got out of the habit when I changed jobs and drastically cut my working hours back, but I do still take breaks now and then and can see an advantage to reinstating those tech-no Sundays once again. I agree with the author's feeling that technology is a good thing, but something that we can (and often do) easily abuse. It's far too easy to check in on social media rather than walk outside and enjoy the beauty of nature and the companionship of friends and family face-to-face. Social media keeps interactions at arm's length, keeping us less engaged. Most people only share the good so it's easy to feel less than when we compare our lives to that we see online. Reactions are dulled. If something gets uncomfortable, we can simply click away, choosing not to deal with it or being momentarily outraged but easily distracted by the next shiny news story that pops up.
Early in the book, the author mentions that younger generations are lacking the ability to read facial expressions and body language. So much of their communication is done virtually that they haven't developed those skills. Even when in the presence of others, many of us are still attached to our devices. Look around a restaurant and notice how many people you see on their phones rather than really paying attention to those sitting just a couple feet away. Many of us don't even take time to know ourselves, filling every moment with digital entertainment and superficial communication.
It's time to take back our time and really live our lives. Slow down, disconnect more and be more present in our lives. Everything need not be documented as proof it happened. Technology has made a lot of things easier and can be used in very positive ways, but we need to pay more attention to how we use it and step away when it is interfering with actually living a full life.
2-3 years ago, I started tech-no Sundays. I was working far too many hours and needed the complete break once a week. I'd turn all my gadgets off and turn off the wifi Saturday night and not turn it on again until Monday morning when I'd start another too-long workweek. I got out of the habit when I changed jobs and drastically cut my working hours back, but I do still take breaks now and then and can see an advantage to reinstating those tech-no Sundays once again. I agree with the author's feeling that technology is a good thing, but something that we can (and often do) easily abuse. It's far too easy to check in on social media rather than walk outside and enjoy the beauty of nature and the companionship of friends and family face-to-face. Social media keeps interactions at arm's length, keeping us less engaged. Most people only share the good so it's easy to feel less than when we compare our lives to that we see online. Reactions are dulled. If something gets uncomfortable, we can simply click away, choosing not to deal with it or being momentarily outraged but easily distracted by the next shiny news story that pops up.
Early in the book, the author mentions that younger generations are lacking the ability to read facial expressions and body language. So much of their communication is done virtually that they haven't developed those skills. Even when in the presence of others, many of us are still attached to our devices. Look around a restaurant and notice how many people you see on their phones rather than really paying attention to those sitting just a couple feet away. Many of us don't even take time to know ourselves, filling every moment with digital entertainment and superficial communication.
It's time to take back our time and really live our lives. Slow down, disconnect more and be more present in our lives. Everything need not be documented as proof it happened. Technology has made a lot of things easier and can be used in very positive ways, but we need to pay more attention to how we use it and step away when it is interfering with actually living a full life.
September 24, 2023
Thought provoking and practical. Great reflections and questions on how to evaluate your personal technology and choose the best things that bring joy and meaning for your life.
August 5, 2017
Most books on this topic can be extreme - this is bad! Run away! Dont' look back! But this was different. With fascinating, and sometimes frightening, statistics & research, Christina shows how technology is changing not only our world, but us as people. Taking a 31 day fast from technology, she discovered she loves email and has more time in a day when she doesn't scroll media every 10 min. Her bottom line message is balance. And I appreciated that.
March 24, 2022
3.5 Was a bit slow at times, but reinforced what I've already learned about how/why to take a step back from the digital world. The book was really best when it focused on kids. Loved the quote "the conversation is more important than the answer" and hope it will stop me from reaching for my phone when trying to discuss or debate with someone.
February 1, 2020
I'll start this review with a possibly trivial criticism: When there are long quotes in Christina Crook's The Joy of Missing Out, they are indented AND in quotation marks. Unless the rules changed while I wasn't looking, indenting a paragraph-length quote shows that it is quoted, making the quotation marks redundant. Having them there bugs me.
That minor annoyance points to what may be a larger flaw: There are a lot of long quotes, and a lot of quotes generally, in this book. The result is often a patchwork effect, which makes it difficult to keep a sense of the author's voice (too bad, because it is a trustworthy and engaging voice) and raises the question of whether Crook has her own view on this issue or has simply compiled the views of others. To be fair, the answer to that question is that she does have her own view, stemming in no small part from her 31-day fast from the Internet. The book is most interesting and most convincing when she shares that personal experience (except when she repeats stories, which she does several times). I know she did write a book about that fast, which maybe means I chose the wrong book. To further complicate my criticism, I must admit that I often appreciated her choice of writers to quote. She frequently brings in Brene Brown and Wendell Berry, two authors who have for me the status of modern-day prophets.
I read this book because it was highly recommended by a math professor who talked to students at our school about the pitfalls of smartphones. While Crook's book did not, for me, live up to the hype, it does tackle a really important issue. She makes a strong case and offers practical concrete steps for balancing our use of technology. Sometimes, while reading this book, I found myself wondering if she is just one of those voices crying out in futility against the inexorable process of change. When she talks in especially broad terms about our dependence on technology, she can come across as a Luddite. But in the end (again, speaking for myself) the evidence and her argument reached critical mass, and I feel convinced that a great deal is at stake if we continue, without self-examination, to spend more of our time interacting with screens and less of it looking each other in the face and immersing ourselves in the natural world.
What saves her from being dismissed as a Luddite is the fact that she uses and appreciates the Internet. She understands its power for good, so she is not calling for a permanent renunciation of cyberspace. Rather, she is making the case for balance and intentionality. And while I wish she had let her own voice come through more consistently in making that case, and that she had been more careful to avoid redundancy of anecdotes and sentiments in the process, she does in the end make a reasonably convincing and genuinely important case. I found myself reading sentences aloud more often with this book than with most, and that is always a good sign.
Final analysis: The Joy of Missing Out is flawed, but ultimately it offers a valid and valuable perspective on a vitally important aspect of our lives. Christina Crook is onto something, and even if her achievement consists largely of curating the wisdom of others who are onto the same thing, it's something just about all of us need to think about. She's worth a read.
That minor annoyance points to what may be a larger flaw: There are a lot of long quotes, and a lot of quotes generally, in this book. The result is often a patchwork effect, which makes it difficult to keep a sense of the author's voice (too bad, because it is a trustworthy and engaging voice) and raises the question of whether Crook has her own view on this issue or has simply compiled the views of others. To be fair, the answer to that question is that she does have her own view, stemming in no small part from her 31-day fast from the Internet. The book is most interesting and most convincing when she shares that personal experience (except when she repeats stories, which she does several times). I know she did write a book about that fast, which maybe means I chose the wrong book. To further complicate my criticism, I must admit that I often appreciated her choice of writers to quote. She frequently brings in Brene Brown and Wendell Berry, two authors who have for me the status of modern-day prophets.
I read this book because it was highly recommended by a math professor who talked to students at our school about the pitfalls of smartphones. While Crook's book did not, for me, live up to the hype, it does tackle a really important issue. She makes a strong case and offers practical concrete steps for balancing our use of technology. Sometimes, while reading this book, I found myself wondering if she is just one of those voices crying out in futility against the inexorable process of change. When she talks in especially broad terms about our dependence on technology, she can come across as a Luddite. But in the end (again, speaking for myself) the evidence and her argument reached critical mass, and I feel convinced that a great deal is at stake if we continue, without self-examination, to spend more of our time interacting with screens and less of it looking each other in the face and immersing ourselves in the natural world.
What saves her from being dismissed as a Luddite is the fact that she uses and appreciates the Internet. She understands its power for good, so she is not calling for a permanent renunciation of cyberspace. Rather, she is making the case for balance and intentionality. And while I wish she had let her own voice come through more consistently in making that case, and that she had been more careful to avoid redundancy of anecdotes and sentiments in the process, she does in the end make a reasonably convincing and genuinely important case. I found myself reading sentences aloud more often with this book than with most, and that is always a good sign.
Final analysis: The Joy of Missing Out is flawed, but ultimately it offers a valid and valuable perspective on a vitally important aspect of our lives. Christina Crook is onto something, and even if her achievement consists largely of curating the wisdom of others who are onto the same thing, it's something just about all of us need to think about. She's worth a read.
January 1, 2019
Reading this book, I started wondering: will always-on connection change the world the same way electricity did?
Although it's true that "giving up the night" to entertainment, work and lack of sleep made human lives less natural, healthy and balanced, this decision also made nights unfathomably more stimulating. The impressionable animals that we are, I'm assuming that few people today would argue that things were better when darkness was still, for most intents and purposes, darkness.
So: it's now 2019. Electricity is an unquestionable given, with always-on internet increasingly so; 4G internet and wifi are almost considered fundamental human rights; babies learn how to use touchscreen before the age of 2. Even sending an e-mail now seems so quaintly passé. Writing letters really makes a personal difference, but how about sending a well thought out video message?
Under the reign of social media, never did more people suffer from social anxiety; yet how many people really care about humanity being over-connected? When a handful of behemoth corporations rule the digital landscape, can you imagine a more Faustian bargain than what has you clicking "I Agree"?
Reacting to this often comes across as more like a call to stand out rather than calm down. Yet I suspect that the reason everyone online seems entranced is that the people who aren't are just, well... not online.
It's been almost three months since I read this one and a lot of it has slipped my mind. I did enjoy it though and it made me realise that regardless of it currently being inexplicably trendy to replace every kind of actual connection or friendship with ethereal, weightless counterparts, the truth deep down is simple: screenless, actual human connection is impossible to substitute. It can be built upon, sure; it can be expanded. But why replace it completely as we seem so set in doing?
Life in the digital world cannot and should not exist without its real-life anchoring, the same way you shouldn't go chop off your legs because you have a car; not only would you then not be able to use the car, you'd never be able to enjoy walking for the sake of moving by just using your own two legs again. Got your pen and paper for sending snail-mail letters to friends yet?
"The Joy of Missing Out" is as romantic as it is poignant, and it inspired me to put my own feelings about over-connection into creating a sort of Alcoholics Anonymous/social club for internet addicts that wish to replace at least part of our draining, flavorless, virtual pseudo-connectedness or the obsession with infinite novelty with nourishing, memorable human connection and limited, focused, less ambitious, if you will, entertainment.
The book didn't reveal to me what the "joy" of missing out might be, but it's true: "The Necessary Evil of Missing Out" wouldn't quite sound as attractive. And writing all this now, the words that come to my mind is that making choices is the only way to go around in the world. So really, there is no alternative to making the sometimes tough, sometimes disciplined, sometimes cruel choice. The only way out is through, right?
Although it's true that "giving up the night" to entertainment, work and lack of sleep made human lives less natural, healthy and balanced, this decision also made nights unfathomably more stimulating. The impressionable animals that we are, I'm assuming that few people today would argue that things were better when darkness was still, for most intents and purposes, darkness.
So: it's now 2019. Electricity is an unquestionable given, with always-on internet increasingly so; 4G internet and wifi are almost considered fundamental human rights; babies learn how to use touchscreen before the age of 2. Even sending an e-mail now seems so quaintly passé. Writing letters really makes a personal difference, but how about sending a well thought out video message?
Under the reign of social media, never did more people suffer from social anxiety; yet how many people really care about humanity being over-connected? When a handful of behemoth corporations rule the digital landscape, can you imagine a more Faustian bargain than what has you clicking "I Agree"?
Reacting to this often comes across as more like a call to stand out rather than calm down. Yet I suspect that the reason everyone online seems entranced is that the people who aren't are just, well... not online.
It's been almost three months since I read this one and a lot of it has slipped my mind. I did enjoy it though and it made me realise that regardless of it currently being inexplicably trendy to replace every kind of actual connection or friendship with ethereal, weightless counterparts, the truth deep down is simple: screenless, actual human connection is impossible to substitute. It can be built upon, sure; it can be expanded. But why replace it completely as we seem so set in doing?
Life in the digital world cannot and should not exist without its real-life anchoring, the same way you shouldn't go chop off your legs because you have a car; not only would you then not be able to use the car, you'd never be able to enjoy walking for the sake of moving by just using your own two legs again. Got your pen and paper for sending snail-mail letters to friends yet?
"The Joy of Missing Out" is as romantic as it is poignant, and it inspired me to put my own feelings about over-connection into creating a sort of Alcoholics Anonymous/social club for internet addicts that wish to replace at least part of our draining, flavorless, virtual pseudo-connectedness or the obsession with infinite novelty with nourishing, memorable human connection and limited, focused, less ambitious, if you will, entertainment.
The book didn't reveal to me what the "joy" of missing out might be, but it's true: "The Necessary Evil of Missing Out" wouldn't quite sound as attractive. And writing all this now, the words that come to my mind is that making choices is the only way to go around in the world. So really, there is no alternative to making the sometimes tough, sometimes disciplined, sometimes cruel choice. The only way out is through, right?
October 31, 2024
The book covers the challenges and solutions as well as the ramifications to our neglected selves through the 30 day experiment conducted by the author. During this time, she unplugged her life from all instant media. Including all things that most of us in the developed world use hourly, daily, (if not constantly) for work, entertainment and human interactions.
She made some very valid points. Very few people pick up their phones to call anyone anymore. We rely heavily on social media to tell us how our friends and family are doing. Rarely does anyone paint their life in an accurate light by these means. In the age of enlightenment, we are forgetting to be human.
As a computer/tablet/smartphone user, I have become accustomed to having information at my fingertips. Like many, I have given up reading the newspaper, going to the library for research, or buying birthday cards. I can complete all of these tasks at home in my jammies in a matter of minutes. I find that, as the writer explains, I become frustrated with waiting for anything. I have slowly evolved into a self-sustaining information sponge that is quickly losing social skills. Like many, I prefer to shop online to avoid people and hassles. There was a time when I loved the bustle of city life. Through technology, the easier ways has overpowered the healthier (both mental and physical) ways.
I tried the experiment for one day. When realizing that not having my phone also meant I also could not tell what time it was- it did made for an interesting and stressful day. Calling contacts while searching through the phonebook taught me that I am was ill prepared for my quest. It only got worse from there. When I got home that night, I vowed I would never leave my phone home again.
In all, the subjects presented in the book made me think. I find that standing in line for my coffee is less stressful because I no longer look at my barista and the others in front of me as machines. I see them clearer as humans. I have made a point to smile at others, saying please and thank you more.
While it may be impossible to live in a wireless-free world. There is a balance to be found. Some of my favorite evenings are spent with family, playing cards, my phone tucked forgotten in my purse deposited in another room of the house. Laughter is infectious, and memories made with people are more vivid than the text messages I have sent or received.
Balance.
The author gave a ton of great suggestions, included lots of facts in our evolving technological age to date. My hat is off to her lasting the 30 days AND still maintaining an online blog.
This book is worth the read.
Happy Reading.
She made some very valid points. Very few people pick up their phones to call anyone anymore. We rely heavily on social media to tell us how our friends and family are doing. Rarely does anyone paint their life in an accurate light by these means. In the age of enlightenment, we are forgetting to be human.
As a computer/tablet/smartphone user, I have become accustomed to having information at my fingertips. Like many, I have given up reading the newspaper, going to the library for research, or buying birthday cards. I can complete all of these tasks at home in my jammies in a matter of minutes. I find that, as the writer explains, I become frustrated with waiting for anything. I have slowly evolved into a self-sustaining information sponge that is quickly losing social skills. Like many, I prefer to shop online to avoid people and hassles. There was a time when I loved the bustle of city life. Through technology, the easier ways has overpowered the healthier (both mental and physical) ways.
I tried the experiment for one day. When realizing that not having my phone also meant I also could not tell what time it was- it did made for an interesting and stressful day. Calling contacts while searching through the phonebook taught me that I am was ill prepared for my quest. It only got worse from there. When I got home that night, I vowed I would never leave my phone home again.
In all, the subjects presented in the book made me think. I find that standing in line for my coffee is less stressful because I no longer look at my barista and the others in front of me as machines. I see them clearer as humans. I have made a point to smile at others, saying please and thank you more.
While it may be impossible to live in a wireless-free world. There is a balance to be found. Some of my favorite evenings are spent with family, playing cards, my phone tucked forgotten in my purse deposited in another room of the house. Laughter is infectious, and memories made with people are more vivid than the text messages I have sent or received.
Balance.
The author gave a ton of great suggestions, included lots of facts in our evolving technological age to date. My hat is off to her lasting the 30 days AND still maintaining an online blog.
This book is worth the read.
Happy Reading.
March 20, 2025
The book “The Joy of Missing Out” is an interperspective book which brings in alot of reasoning from how we should act on the internet to finding time for ourselves and loved ones. Knowing myself as a very extroverted person, I can find myself being on my phone for long periods of time when other people are not around or even when other people are. It is good that this book has a lot to talk about in context to relationships and connection on your phone.
Some things I loved about this book was how many ideas it brings into the picture. You could be learning about how to manage your time better by learning about the epicenter of Rome. There would be people who might think that it brings almost too much to the table at once, but I enjoyed the different topic changes, and I think it also kept my attention. Bringing in a lot of different topics can bring in different perspectives, which makes a well rounded way of thinking. This is something that I feel that we need more, when you are reading you tend to believe the first thing you hear. It was very refreshing to hear both sides of the opinion.
Yet there is one thing that I disliked was how everything was worded and sometimes it even felt like the perspective changed from first to third. I can count multiple times where I had to go back and reread the paragraph because it sounded wordy and mashed together.
Yet overall this was a good book for my life personally and I think a majority of other audiences would love this. I took from their perspectives of the internet which includes how we should treat others by using filters. Comprehensively this was a great book and something every generation can relate to and learn from.
Some things I loved about this book was how many ideas it brings into the picture. You could be learning about how to manage your time better by learning about the epicenter of Rome. There would be people who might think that it brings almost too much to the table at once, but I enjoyed the different topic changes, and I think it also kept my attention. Bringing in a lot of different topics can bring in different perspectives, which makes a well rounded way of thinking. This is something that I feel that we need more, when you are reading you tend to believe the first thing you hear. It was very refreshing to hear both sides of the opinion.
Yet there is one thing that I disliked was how everything was worded and sometimes it even felt like the perspective changed from first to third. I can count multiple times where I had to go back and reread the paragraph because it sounded wordy and mashed together.
Yet overall this was a good book for my life personally and I think a majority of other audiences would love this. I took from their perspectives of the internet which includes how we should treat others by using filters. Comprehensively this was a great book and something every generation can relate to and learn from.
December 9, 2023
I have read a few books on this topic, and I would say this one is second-best only to How to Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price. While I do agree with other reviewers’ comments on the stream-of-consciousness prose and abundance of anecdotes, I think this style worked for me. The only section I didn’t like and felt was poorly done was the technology timeline that correlated technological advancements with the number of mental illnesses in the DSM-5. The connection between the two was never explained or backed up with evidence. I found that part really odd.
I wish we focused more on the 30-day digital fast and had diary entries for every day - I really enjoyed the letters that were included.
Overall, I found this book to be inspiring, and I very much enjoyed the insightful quotes and thoughtful discussions that were included.
I wish we focused more on the 30-day digital fast and had diary entries for every day - I really enjoyed the letters that were included.
Overall, I found this book to be inspiring, and I very much enjoyed the insightful quotes and thoughtful discussions that were included.
February 2, 2025
I really enjoyed reading this book. I got off social media years ago, or maybe I should say I never really got on to begin with. But it was definitely not an easy choice to do so, it was just something I knew was making me sad and not happy. I would see pictures of a friend online traveling the world and following their dreams when I was in a season of life where I was alone and spending months on the floor helping my infant with tummy time. With my personality, seeing my friend free as a bird made me second guess my reality. I had to turn it off. I wish it didn't make me feel bad about myself, but it did. At the time, it was confusing to my brain. Reading books like these will always be important for those of us fighting the fight against a wired world so I am grateful there are people who take the time to write and document these last 10 years.
April 14, 2018
It was OK - a great motivational read, with some exercises that I didn't bother doing because I already don't own a smartphone and am long since past being tempted by social media notification pings. Still, I need my little bit of digital dopamine fixes every once in a while, and this is a good book for beginners to figure out what that means in a broader sense. I knocked off an entire star for just the fact that I wish Cook had included proper footnotes and citations for some of her quotes and sources... she cites a lot of references that I'm interested in looking into and the bibliography at the back isn't quite enough, and some of her assertions have no biblographical reference point at all.
March 13, 2019
Helpful book about what it means to live in our current “digitally connected” world. The author quoted extensively from Sherry Turkle (Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry Turkle is probably the best book I have read on this topic) and Brene Brown, who I would also recommend (though her writing covers more topics than the “digital age” conversation). I also come away from books like this thinking, “I really need to read Wendell Berry!” He seems to be quoted a lot in books that talk about living slowly and well.
April 30, 2018
She talks about the importance of being involved with the people around us and finding balance in our lives instead of feeling the compulsion to check your phone multiple times a day. She talks about how we think we are making things easier and simpler by multitasking and connection with people on FB and via text... but it actually makes life more stressful and creates more superficial relationships
June 29, 2018
A beautiful book, aimed at people wanting to use the internet less. Its written so beautifully with compassion, excellent references and practical ideas. It just makes sense. I love that she uses unusual words too, I had to get the dictionary out a few times to look up the meaning but that made me like the book more. Its poetic, real and motivating. I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels overloaded with information and the demands of attention from the web.
April 10, 2022
This thought-provoking work about the impact of technology on the human psyche and relationships was incredibly well researched and easy to digest. Although occasionally repetitive, Crook's arguments were impactful and well-supported. I did, however, find the frequently placed side boxes with notes and quotes to be distracting to my reading experience. I opted to ignore them after a while and it did not detract from my understanding of her theses at all. A great piece of nonfiction literature.
October 21, 2023
I read this book for my dissertation to get a few ideas before moving on to academic articles. It was really well-written, introspective, and easy to follow. I think it'd be interesting and helpful to anybody reflecting on their experiences with technology, no matter their level of formal education on it
October 28, 2024
After 31 days of fasting from the internet and reconnecting with herself, family, and friends, the author realizes just how overly connected she had been. The book shares her reflections on this experience, along with data and activities designed to help readers be more present in real life and less engaged on social media.
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