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Lily Harper #1
Better Off Dead
From "New York Times" and "USA Today" Bestselling Urban Fantasy Romance Author, H.P. Mallory, comes The Lily Harper Series! If you like your books steamy (this is an adult fantasy romance, not for kids or teens!) and you aren't easily offended by potty-mouthed, crass guardian angels, listen on! Better Off Dead is the first book in the Lily Harper urban fantasy series.
If there's such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn't have it. Killed in a car accident before it's her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn't exactly what she hoped it might be. First, there's AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after, ) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.) Learning that Lily's death was indirectly their fault (her guardian angel, Bill, was MIA during her accident and was one of their employees, ) Afterlife Enterprises offers Lily the chance to live again. But, as with most things involving the afterlife, beware the fine print. Most notably, Lily will become a soul retriever, venturing into the bowels of the Underground City to retrieve souls that were mistakenly sent there by Afterlife Enterprises during a Y2K computer glitch. Second, there's angel Bill. As if risking her second life in the Underground City wasn't enough, Lily's guide to the Underground is none other than her incompetent, alcoholic, womanizing guardian angel, Bill, the antithesis of anything wholesome. With only Dante's "Inferno" and Bill to help her in her quest, Lily's future isn't looking bright.
Finally, there's the legendary bladesmith, Tallis Black. As Scottish as his kilts and heavy brogue, Tallis Black is a centuries-old Celt who, for reasons only known to him, offers to train Lily and act as her escort into the depths of the Underground City. Dark, brooding and definitely dangerous, Lily knows she shouldn't trust Tallis, but she also can't deny her attraction to him. Between soul retrieving in hell, dealing with Bill and trying to figure out what's in it for Tallis, Lily wonders if maybe she would?ve just been better off dead.
If there's such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn't have it. Killed in a car accident before it's her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn't exactly what she hoped it might be. First, there's AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after, ) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.) Learning that Lily's death was indirectly their fault (her guardian angel, Bill, was MIA during her accident and was one of their employees, ) Afterlife Enterprises offers Lily the chance to live again. But, as with most things involving the afterlife, beware the fine print. Most notably, Lily will become a soul retriever, venturing into the bowels of the Underground City to retrieve souls that were mistakenly sent there by Afterlife Enterprises during a Y2K computer glitch. Second, there's angel Bill. As if risking her second life in the Underground City wasn't enough, Lily's guide to the Underground is none other than her incompetent, alcoholic, womanizing guardian angel, Bill, the antithesis of anything wholesome. With only Dante's "Inferno" and Bill to help her in her quest, Lily's future isn't looking bright.
Finally, there's the legendary bladesmith, Tallis Black. As Scottish as his kilts and heavy brogue, Tallis Black is a centuries-old Celt who, for reasons only known to him, offers to train Lily and act as her escort into the depths of the Underground City. Dark, brooding and definitely dangerous, Lily knows she shouldn't trust Tallis, but she also can't deny her attraction to him. Between soul retrieving in hell, dealing with Bill and trying to figure out what's in it for Tallis, Lily wonders if maybe she would?ve just been better off dead.
276 pages, ebook
First published March 26, 2013
752 people are currently reading
2928 people want to read
About the author
H.P. Mallory
343 books2,786 followersI’m a huge fan of anything paranormal and I always have been. I get super excited whenever they have those Twilight Zone Marathon days and anything ghost or vampire related will always attract my attention.
My interests are varied but aside from writing, I’m most excited about traveling. I’m extremely fortunate to have been able to live in England and Scotland, both places really having a profound effect on my books.
Thanks for checking out my books and I hope you enjoy them! Happy Haunting!
H.P.
My interests are varied but aside from writing, I’m most excited about traveling. I’m extremely fortunate to have been able to live in England and Scotland, both places really having a profound effect on my books.
Thanks for checking out my books and I hope you enjoy them! Happy Haunting!
H.P.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 310 reviews
May 8, 2013
3.5/5.0
This one is split right down the middle. I absolutely loved the whole premise, it is unique, creative and totally fun to read about. I loved Lily, I REALLY loved Tallis, I even loved Bill - despite (or maybe because of) his hilarious but crude comments.
It was in the actual storyline that I struggled. It seemed the entire book was spent laying the groundwork for the series. We learn about the characters, the world, and enjoy wonderful descriptions but there is very little actual action (on any front.) What's there is at the very end and is resolved quickly.
Even so, the characters and the humor make it a very fun read and, judging from Ms. Mallory's previous series, one that will evolve into a rollickingly addictive ride in future books!
This one is split right down the middle. I absolutely loved the whole premise, it is unique, creative and totally fun to read about. I loved Lily, I REALLY loved Tallis, I even loved Bill - despite (or maybe because of) his hilarious but crude comments.
It was in the actual storyline that I struggled. It seemed the entire book was spent laying the groundwork for the series. We learn about the characters, the world, and enjoy wonderful descriptions but there is very little actual action (on any front.) What's there is at the very end and is resolved quickly.
Even so, the characters and the humor make it a very fun read and, judging from Ms. Mallory's previous series, one that will evolve into a rollickingly addictive ride in future books!
August 10, 2013
Well this book is very different from HP's other novels! I did love the plot and characters... except Bill. At first his crassness and constant joke cracking reminded me of an immature teenager... BUT something strange happened, I actually didn't mind him towards the end. I might have even liked him (maybe)!
I loved the plot and the journey to the Underground. Only thing is, I wish there was a little more to the story once they got there. It all seemed so fast compared to Lily's preparation for the Underground. AND what's with the tension between her and Tallis? Geez! I was rallying for something to happen! Maybe in book two, a romance will start (*hint hint*)!
All in all, I enjoyed this book and I'm a huge fan of HP so I can't wait to read book 2 and see how the characters grow with one another!
I loved the plot and the journey to the Underground. Only thing is, I wish there was a little more to the story once they got there. It all seemed so fast compared to Lily's preparation for the Underground. AND what's with the tension between her and Tallis? Geez! I was rallying for something to happen! Maybe in book two, a romance will start (*hint hint*)!
All in all, I enjoyed this book and I'm a huge fan of HP so I can't wait to read book 2 and see how the characters grow with one another!
April 17, 2014
Better Off Dead is currently free on amazon.com, and I must admit that was the main reason I picked it up. But it wasn't at all bad for a freebie, in fact, I enjoyed it quite a lot.
Lily Harper was supposed to learn a lesson about the consequences of texting and driving; a fender bender, just a little wake-up call. But instead, she wakes up... dead. As it turns out, not all guardian angels take their jobs seriously, and Lily's angel is as incompetent as they come.
Since she died before her time, she's given the opportunity to live again, in a new body, but there's a catch: she must also agree to save ten misplaced souls who've ended up in the Underground City (Hell) instead of the Kingdom (Heaven.) and her guides will be none other than her hapless guardian angel; Bill, and an ornery, but *verrah* sexy druid and sword maker; Tallis Black. The classic dark, handsome stranger with a troubled past.
This was a truly different take on the whole soul–saver genre. The whole idea behind the story is pretty interesting. I love the characters. The only thing that took some getting used to is the authors take on spelling out what the thickly accented Tallis Black is actually saying. (Although it did help to think of him as Sean Connery with a heavier accent;-)) And it's not as if Bill makes it any easier. He is a street talking, inappropriate, recovering alcoholic and womanizer. Hell, the seven deadly sins are probably his middle names. He's the classic (not to mention, stupid) jerk I usually dislike, but the author actually made him work. Because despite all his many (many) flaws, he really does care about Lily. It is rather endearing. (I know, even I am surprised I said that...)
The tale itself is such a wonderful twist on the afterlife that I actually laughed at many parts. Here we have this young woman, who has only ever experienced life through her self help books, now thrown into the bowels of hell, with only an outdated map of Dante's inferno, to help her fight clowns. (Think Stephen King's "IT".)
The formatting of this book left something to be desired. Once or twice, I found quotes that seemed to have been copy/pasted from the internet directly into the e-book, with the html encoding intact, because the quotes were actual links you could click on. I found this a little annoying. IMO, that's just lazy editing.
I have already started on book # 2, and while this was not brilliant, it certainly was an entertaining way to spend my days off. 3.5 - 3.75 stars.
Lily Harper was supposed to learn a lesson about the consequences of texting and driving; a fender bender, just a little wake-up call. But instead, she wakes up... dead. As it turns out, not all guardian angels take their jobs seriously, and Lily's angel is as incompetent as they come.
Since she died before her time, she's given the opportunity to live again, in a new body, but there's a catch: she must also agree to save ten misplaced souls who've ended up in the Underground City (Hell) instead of the Kingdom (Heaven.) and her guides will be none other than her hapless guardian angel; Bill, and an ornery, but *verrah* sexy druid and sword maker; Tallis Black. The classic dark, handsome stranger with a troubled past.
This was a truly different take on the whole soul–saver genre. The whole idea behind the story is pretty interesting. I love the characters. The only thing that took some getting used to is the authors take on spelling out what the thickly accented Tallis Black is actually saying. (Although it did help to think of him as Sean Connery with a heavier accent;-)) And it's not as if Bill makes it any easier. He is a street talking, inappropriate, recovering alcoholic and womanizer. Hell, the seven deadly sins are probably his middle names. He's the classic (not to mention, stupid) jerk I usually dislike, but the author actually made him work. Because despite all his many (many) flaws, he really does care about Lily. It is rather endearing. (I know, even I am surprised I said that...)
The tale itself is such a wonderful twist on the afterlife that I actually laughed at many parts. Here we have this young woman, who has only ever experienced life through her self help books, now thrown into the bowels of hell, with only an outdated map of Dante's inferno, to help her fight clowns. (Think Stephen King's "IT".)
The formatting of this book left something to be desired. Once or twice, I found quotes that seemed to have been copy/pasted from the internet directly into the e-book, with the html encoding intact, because the quotes were actual links you could click on. I found this a little annoying. IMO, that's just lazy editing.
I have already started on book # 2, and while this was not brilliant, it certainly was an entertaining way to spend my days off. 3.5 - 3.75 stars.
March 21, 2016
Just no
I wasn't interested in this book at first but after it being recommended by Amazon with every other book I had read I gave in.
Not the best idea in the long run.
The dialogue on a fifth grade level. Meaning my fifth grade son has written better stories than this.
Bill is just obnoxious, childish, obscene and disgusting. And the writing form of the way he communicates was annoying,
Lily was just plain boring. This list of her problem areas is to cast to put into words. But yes as others mentioned the quotes were a extremely excessive.
Tallis, where to start..... Is he a cave man? Is he a good guy or bad guy, the constant mood changes and attitudes, he is bipolar! And Lily's reactions to him were equally bipolar.
This book gave the impression that you are an uneducated person. There was no definite writing style, you wrote the way you talk, instead of describing how a character talked, dialect, accent, etc. You wrote it as such. Very distracting and confusing. A better way of getting the idea of an accent or the way a character talked would have been to explain it such as 'Tallis called Lily over to the tree his thick Scottish accent more defended by his husky tone. "You should pick up the sword and keep your arms in and feet apart, like so." '
By knowing he has an accent I would read it and envision him saying that sentence in a thick Scottish accent.
I will not be buying anymore ok the books in this series.
I wasn't interested in this book at first but after it being recommended by Amazon with every other book I had read I gave in.
Not the best idea in the long run.
The dialogue on a fifth grade level. Meaning my fifth grade son has written better stories than this.
Bill is just obnoxious, childish, obscene and disgusting. And the writing form of the way he communicates was annoying,
Lily was just plain boring. This list of her problem areas is to cast to put into words. But yes as others mentioned the quotes were a extremely excessive.
Tallis, where to start..... Is he a cave man? Is he a good guy or bad guy, the constant mood changes and attitudes, he is bipolar! And Lily's reactions to him were equally bipolar.
This book gave the impression that you are an uneducated person. There was no definite writing style, you wrote the way you talk, instead of describing how a character talked, dialect, accent, etc. You wrote it as such. Very distracting and confusing. A better way of getting the idea of an accent or the way a character talked would have been to explain it such as 'Tallis called Lily over to the tree his thick Scottish accent more defended by his husky tone. "You should pick up the sword and keep your arms in and feet apart, like so." '
By knowing he has an accent I would read it and envision him saying that sentence in a thick Scottish accent.
I will not be buying anymore ok the books in this series.
May 13, 2014
The premise of this book is entertaining: what if you died because your guardian angel wasn't there to save you when he was supposed to be, and the AfterLife bureaucracy gave you the "opportunity" to return to life as a "soul retriever," tasked with rescuing spirits that (oops!) got sent to the wrong location. Sounds fun!
So what went wrong? (Something obviously did, since I'm only giving this two stars.) The writing is good--no issues there. So why didn't I like it?
Mostly because of the characters. Lily is easy to like...at first. But once she meets up with Bill (her previously AWOL guardian angel) and then Tallis (her Scottish love interest), things go downhill fast. Lily's affection for the obnoxious Bill is inexplicable, as is her instalove (or is it instalust?) for the annoying Tallis. Bill's foul mouth and especially his attitude toward women are genuinely ugly character traits that I simply couldn't get past (and that's not even taking into account the fact that he was responsible for Lily's death for reasons I could have zero sympathy for). And the author works so hard to make Tallis seem like he shouldn't be anyone's love interest, it was difficult to buy into Lily's feelings for him.
Don't get me wrong--this is a fairly entertaining book. But I was glad when it was over, because I really didn't want to hang out with these characters any longer.
September 16, 2015
Actual rating: 1½
This is the third H.P. Mallory book I read and it will definitely be the last. Actually, I can’t think why I even gave this one a try as I didn’t enjoy the previous two (To Kill a Warlock and Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble). Her novels are like chick lit with a bit of fantasy thrown in and they are boring, boring, boring. They are not YA but sometimes they do feel like they were written by an underage author…
This book was just another uneventful read. Well, it certainly didn’t help that I’d just read Clean Sweep by Ilona Andrews before I started Better Off Dead. In comparison, Mallory’s book feels much more immature, mainly in terms of writing and characterization.
The main characters in both books are the same age (22 and 23) but Lily Harper, the HP Mallory heroine, feels like an annoying teenager. Had I not know her age, I would have guessed she was about 16 or 17. Before she dies, Lily is overweight, not pretty and a virgin. When given the choice after her death, she decides to come back as a red-headed bombshell with big boobs and never-ending legs, behind the wheel of some flashy car (an Audi SUV or something of the sort). Seriously?! How old is this girl?!
The other characters in the book are poorly done. The angel is annoying and a bit too Danny de Vito. Tallis is so out of place here he seems to be a character from another book. His character simply doesn’t make sense and his supposed Scottish accent is ridiculous.
This book was on the fast road to dnf until I got to about 20%. Then it got a bit better but not for long. I did manage to finish the book but only by skipping a lot of passages. Too much blah blah blah and little happening. Overall, this was a boring, insipid book.
This is the third H.P. Mallory book I read and it will definitely be the last. Actually, I can’t think why I even gave this one a try as I didn’t enjoy the previous two (To Kill a Warlock and Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble). Her novels are like chick lit with a bit of fantasy thrown in and they are boring, boring, boring. They are not YA but sometimes they do feel like they were written by an underage author…
This book was just another uneventful read. Well, it certainly didn’t help that I’d just read Clean Sweep by Ilona Andrews before I started Better Off Dead. In comparison, Mallory’s book feels much more immature, mainly in terms of writing and characterization.
The main characters in both books are the same age (22 and 23) but Lily Harper, the HP Mallory heroine, feels like an annoying teenager. Had I not know her age, I would have guessed she was about 16 or 17. Before she dies, Lily is overweight, not pretty and a virgin. When given the choice after her death, she decides to come back as a red-headed bombshell with big boobs and never-ending legs, behind the wheel of some flashy car (an Audi SUV or something of the sort). Seriously?! How old is this girl?!
The other characters in the book are poorly done. The angel is annoying and a bit too Danny de Vito. Tallis is so out of place here he seems to be a character from another book. His character simply doesn’t make sense and his supposed Scottish accent is ridiculous.
This book was on the fast road to dnf until I got to about 20%. Then it got a bit better but not for long. I did manage to finish the book but only by skipping a lot of passages. Too much blah blah blah and little happening. Overall, this was a boring, insipid book.
September 1, 2024
First off this is a relatively silly story, but worse the guardian angel Bill is s rude, crass & just unlikable personality. Narrator voice is rather high pitch and grating and hard on the ears.
May 14, 2015
MEH
FYI I listened to this on audible.
I couldn't get into this story. The world seemed like it had potential to be interesting but just failed grabbing my interest. The guardian angel Bill was annoying his gibberish was not entertaining. I found him to be a useless character. He utterly failed as comic relief. The romantic interest Tallis also was a no go for me. I found him hostile & his attempts @ being mysterious failed to make me curious. I had no interest in dissecting or guessing his reasons or past. Lily the protagonist was an intelligent virginal female with a newly acquired killer body in an unfortunate circumstance caused by Bill. She has no supernatural powers or extraordinary training therefore she's ill prepared to succeed in her new job as a soul retriever. Lily has an illogical romantic interest in Tallis. Any attempt at creating romantic tension failed miserably. In fact at certain times it seemed forced. To what end & for what purpose I've no idea. It didn't have a natural progression & few signs of it being returned. She had an annoying habit of quoting self help books with the frequency & absolute belief some religious people quote bible verses. After a while it became annoying as heck. The premise had potential if it could have been better executed. I can't point at a glaring flaw other than the overall feel of mediocracy. The writing was ok & the narration was well done. I rate this book 2.5 stars
FYI I listened to this on audible.
I couldn't get into this story. The world seemed like it had potential to be interesting but just failed grabbing my interest. The guardian angel Bill was annoying his gibberish was not entertaining. I found him to be a useless character. He utterly failed as comic relief. The romantic interest Tallis also was a no go for me. I found him hostile & his attempts @ being mysterious failed to make me curious. I had no interest in dissecting or guessing his reasons or past. Lily the protagonist was an intelligent virginal female with a newly acquired killer body in an unfortunate circumstance caused by Bill. She has no supernatural powers or extraordinary training therefore she's ill prepared to succeed in her new job as a soul retriever. Lily has an illogical romantic interest in Tallis. Any attempt at creating romantic tension failed miserably. In fact at certain times it seemed forced. To what end & for what purpose I've no idea. It didn't have a natural progression & few signs of it being returned. She had an annoying habit of quoting self help books with the frequency & absolute belief some religious people quote bible verses. After a while it became annoying as heck. The premise had potential if it could have been better executed. I can't point at a glaring flaw other than the overall feel of mediocracy. The writing was ok & the narration was well done. I rate this book 2.5 stars
April 3, 2013
I honestly don't know what to make of this first book. I loved both the Jolie Series and Dulcie Series. Both series has caught my attention right from book 1. Lilly's a little....blah. It's still a great story, but I think it went a bit overboard with the inspirational quotes. I feel as if it lacks....something I can't put my finger on that both Jolie and Dulcie series has that caught my attention right away. :) I will still read book 2 when it comes out though. Like I said I still like the story AND the characters. Bill is just hilarious. I found my self literally LOL while I was reading it.
April 12, 2013
Would give it a four because it is a fun read, but I was too hung up on Tallis' accent which slowed the book way down.
Interesting take on the afterlife. Bill is hilarious. Some of the self-help quotes got old fast. Lilly was interesting though, so that made up for it. And Tallis, even with the hard to read accent, was a very interesting character.
Interesting take on the afterlife. Bill is hilarious. Some of the self-help quotes got old fast. Lilly was interesting though, so that made up for it. And Tallis, even with the hard to read accent, was a very interesting character.
April 2, 2014
A good beginning to a new series. The three main characters - the wisecracking angel Bill, the bladesmith Tallis Black with his thick Scottish brogue, and Lily always spouting self help quotes - would be annoying in the hands of a lesser author but H.P.Mallory does a good job of making the reader come to care about them. It was a fun, quick read packed with humor and adventure.
August 16, 2014
3.5/5.0
The premise of this book is completely unique and delightful!
Read full review in the 2013 June issue of InD’tale Magazine.
The premise of this book is completely unique and delightful!
Read full review in the 2013 June issue of InD’tale Magazine.
March 24, 2014
I loved it! I am going to start on the second one right away! There was nothing about this book that I didn't love! And the kindle price is budget friendly enough to ensure I read everything by this author.
February 15, 2013
Great Book! Couldn't put it down! Read the whole series!
April 16, 2013
Read my full review on Paromantasy
Is it even possible for HP Mallory to write anything but a hit series that will keep readers begging for more? If this series is any indication, the answer is no!
Immense danger, sexual tension, mysteries, humour and romance combined with never ending twists and turns will keep your fingers turning the pages and you dreaming of the characters long after you read “the end.”
Lily’s life has ended, yet that is where her story truly begins. After dying in a car accident, Lily learns even death is complicated. After a little incident left her prematurely evacuating her body, she is given a second chance at life...by becoming an employee of AfterLife Enterprises. She will have a new life, a new identity and a new job as a soul retriever. Plus she gets to pick her body so that is always a thumbs-up. But Lily soon finds out that even in heaven, you have to read the fine print, as she soon finds herself in the depths of hell.
With no training, and only her Guardian Angel that got her killed in the first place by her side - she sets out on her first mission. On her way, she must first meet wtih Tallis - a bladesmith with a history written in the books and the body of a God. Little did she know that he would single-handedly change her life. He offers to help keep her alive, but what is in it for him? With her life on the line and two people she doesn't even know if she can trust by her side - she sets off to Hell to retrieve her first soul. Will she survive the depths of hell or will the people she has come to depend her make her wonder if she was better off dead?
Lily Harper is a complex woman. She is strong, yet insecure; scared but courageous; sexy but self-conscious. In other words, she could be any woman and that makes me like her even more. She’s relatable and someone I would be bff’s with…(in my head, we already are lol). She struggles with her new life and new found beauty, and as the book progresses you can see her grow into her own. I can’t wait to see what is in store for Lily and hew new life. Especially as it pertains to Tallis.
Tallis is brooding, mysterious and sexy as hell. You never know what he's thinking and is completely unpredictable. His history has made him tough, but we soon see that Lily doesn't take no for an answer. Both are strong willed and the sexual tension that develops will definitely keep you turning the page. His ulterior motives are unclear, but one thing is for certain - he definitely has an interest in Lily.
Along with Tallis and Lily is Bill - the unconventional Guardian Angel. He's hilarious, annoying, raunchy and I love every minute of it. He will keep you laughing out loud at his outrageous antics.
To say I love this book would be an understatement! The characters, the plot, and the mix of comedy, romance, mystery and thrills makes this book unputdownable!!
I cannot wait for the next installment. The one thing I disliked about the book is that it had to end!
Is it even possible for HP Mallory to write anything but a hit series that will keep readers begging for more? If this series is any indication, the answer is no!
Immense danger, sexual tension, mysteries, humour and romance combined with never ending twists and turns will keep your fingers turning the pages and you dreaming of the characters long after you read “the end.”
Lily’s life has ended, yet that is where her story truly begins. After dying in a car accident, Lily learns even death is complicated. After a little incident left her prematurely evacuating her body, she is given a second chance at life...by becoming an employee of AfterLife Enterprises. She will have a new life, a new identity and a new job as a soul retriever. Plus she gets to pick her body so that is always a thumbs-up. But Lily soon finds out that even in heaven, you have to read the fine print, as she soon finds herself in the depths of hell.
With no training, and only her Guardian Angel that got her killed in the first place by her side - she sets out on her first mission. On her way, she must first meet wtih Tallis - a bladesmith with a history written in the books and the body of a God. Little did she know that he would single-handedly change her life. He offers to help keep her alive, but what is in it for him? With her life on the line and two people she doesn't even know if she can trust by her side - she sets off to Hell to retrieve her first soul. Will she survive the depths of hell or will the people she has come to depend her make her wonder if she was better off dead?
Lily Harper is a complex woman. She is strong, yet insecure; scared but courageous; sexy but self-conscious. In other words, she could be any woman and that makes me like her even more. She’s relatable and someone I would be bff’s with…(in my head, we already are lol). She struggles with her new life and new found beauty, and as the book progresses you can see her grow into her own. I can’t wait to see what is in store for Lily and hew new life. Especially as it pertains to Tallis.
Tallis is brooding, mysterious and sexy as hell. You never know what he's thinking and is completely unpredictable. His history has made him tough, but we soon see that Lily doesn't take no for an answer. Both are strong willed and the sexual tension that develops will definitely keep you turning the page. His ulterior motives are unclear, but one thing is for certain - he definitely has an interest in Lily.
Along with Tallis and Lily is Bill - the unconventional Guardian Angel. He's hilarious, annoying, raunchy and I love every minute of it. He will keep you laughing out loud at his outrageous antics.
To say I love this book would be an understatement! The characters, the plot, and the mix of comedy, romance, mystery and thrills makes this book unputdownable!!
I cannot wait for the next installment. The one thing I disliked about the book is that it had to end!
January 24, 2015
The storyline was kinda fun and the characters weren't completely hate-able - just two-dimensional - but I was hoping for so much more. I absolutely couldn't get past some of the plot points that it felt like nobody had bothered to check.
Congratulations, the author can type Scots Gaelic! But if you're going to write a main character that speaks it, please get someone pronounce the words before writing what they sound like. The last time I checked, "Donchad" is not how Donnchadh is going to sound when spoken even though that's what it looks like on paper.
A medieval re-en-actor who's giddy about being promoted the the rank of the knights would know what the cross-piece above the hilt of a sword is called - she would not refer to them as "handles". "Guard" "cross-piece", "quillons", any of those wouldn't have stopped me in my tracks. "Handles" just ticked me off. To me, this is a very important plot-point to get right when the sword practically becomes the fourth main character. I also find it unlikely that the correct grip for a sword with a hilt that's more than a foot long (a traditional Claymore has 13" of hilt)is to have the off-hand gripping the pommel, that just seems like her hands will too far apart to properly control the sword.
And, okay, I'll give you that it's a fantasy spider, and there are real spiders with only six eyes. But I was expecting the spider to have eight eyes because that's what I'd always been taught in school. Describing a spider as having six eyes, and not being surprised by this number, felt like a glaring continuity error.
On their own, none of them are big things but they all added up to make it feel like the author just didn't care. I'd start getting absorbed in the story then walk face-first into one of these inconsistencies and I'd get ripped right back out again, ranting and raving. I only skimmed the second half of the book just so I could get it over with. And in the hopes that if I wasn't reading too deeply I wouldn't notice any more of these.
Congratulations, the author can type Scots Gaelic! But if you're going to write a main character that speaks it, please get someone pronounce the words before writing what they sound like. The last time I checked, "Donchad" is not how Donnchadh is going to sound when spoken even though that's what it looks like on paper.
A medieval re-en-actor who's giddy about being promoted the the rank of the knights would know what the cross-piece above the hilt of a sword is called - she would not refer to them as "handles". "Guard" "cross-piece", "quillons", any of those wouldn't have stopped me in my tracks. "Handles" just ticked me off. To me, this is a very important plot-point to get right when the sword practically becomes the fourth main character. I also find it unlikely that the correct grip for a sword with a hilt that's more than a foot long (a traditional Claymore has 13" of hilt)is to have the off-hand gripping the pommel, that just seems like her hands will too far apart to properly control the sword.
And, okay, I'll give you that it's a fantasy spider, and there are real spiders with only six eyes. But I was expecting the spider to have eight eyes because that's what I'd always been taught in school. Describing a spider as having six eyes, and not being surprised by this number, felt like a glaring continuity error.
On their own, none of them are big things but they all added up to make it feel like the author just didn't care. I'd start getting absorbed in the story then walk face-first into one of these inconsistencies and I'd get ripped right back out again, ranting and raving. I only skimmed the second half of the book just so I could get it over with. And in the hopes that if I wasn't reading too deeply I wouldn't notice any more of these.
July 16, 2015
I give Better off Dead at least two stars because the writing was pretty good and the story did have some interesting moments here and there. But the annoying characters make it impossible for me to give it a higher rating.
First we have the protagonist, Lily Harper, who is whiny, incompetent and frankly pretty shallow. When this books starts out, she’s an overweight girl who isn’t very popular. So when she dies and gets the chance to choose a new body, obviously she picks the hottest body she sees. And because of this, she’s surprised that any man would ever turn her down for sex (more specifically Tallis Black) or that she would ever have serious problems. Because apparently, your life is all sunshine and rainbows when you’re attractive. Then there’s the fact that her guardian Angel is overweight and Lily never fails to remind the audience. I think I could make a drinking game over how many times she called him pudgy. These things just make her pretty unlikable for me.
Then we have Tallis Black, who has more mood swings than anyone I’ve ever met. One minute, he’s open and caring with Lily, the next he’s snubbing her because she dared to touch him or something. Plus, I found their instant connection a little unbelievable. Let’s just call it what it is: Lust. Because that’s really all it is.
However these two seem tolerable compared to Lily’s guardian angel, Bill. He’s seriously one of the most disgusting characters I’ve read about in a while. He’s crude, inappropriate, selfish, and just terrible at his job. I mean, he failed to protect Lily because he was too busy trying to get laid. And he’s not even really apologetic about it. I could go on about all of the things I don’t like about this character, but it would take forever.
Unfortunately, it’s very unlikely that I’ll be reading the next book. Even if I semi-liked Lily or Tallis, I couldn’t get through another book with Bill with his foul mouth and disgusting behavior. I hate to be so harsh, I just found this book frustrating to get through.
First we have the protagonist, Lily Harper, who is whiny, incompetent and frankly pretty shallow. When this books starts out, she’s an overweight girl who isn’t very popular. So when she dies and gets the chance to choose a new body, obviously she picks the hottest body she sees. And because of this, she’s surprised that any man would ever turn her down for sex (more specifically Tallis Black) or that she would ever have serious problems. Because apparently, your life is all sunshine and rainbows when you’re attractive. Then there’s the fact that her guardian Angel is overweight and Lily never fails to remind the audience. I think I could make a drinking game over how many times she called him pudgy. These things just make her pretty unlikable for me.
Then we have Tallis Black, who has more mood swings than anyone I’ve ever met. One minute, he’s open and caring with Lily, the next he’s snubbing her because she dared to touch him or something. Plus, I found their instant connection a little unbelievable. Let’s just call it what it is: Lust. Because that’s really all it is.
However these two seem tolerable compared to Lily’s guardian angel, Bill. He’s seriously one of the most disgusting characters I’ve read about in a while. He’s crude, inappropriate, selfish, and just terrible at his job. I mean, he failed to protect Lily because he was too busy trying to get laid. And he’s not even really apologetic about it. I could go on about all of the things I don’t like about this character, but it would take forever.
Unfortunately, it’s very unlikely that I’ll be reading the next book. Even if I semi-liked Lily or Tallis, I couldn’t get through another book with Bill with his foul mouth and disgusting behavior. I hate to be so harsh, I just found this book frustrating to get through.
December 12, 2013
This was a 4.5 for me but I would have given it 5 for a little more back story on Tallis Black. The writing was everything I have come to expect from this author, who I already love. The plot was fun but seemed a bit rushed, I would have liked to take a little time when Lily arrived in her new digs before heading off on her first adventure. This being the first novel in the series, it lays out the overall theme of what will be happening. The characters seem plausible and act and react in the way that you would expect them to, except for maybe Bill who is on a whole different plane than anyone else. :) The language is appropriate for the characters and is easily understandable, even the thick brogue that is employed by Tallis.
Lily Harper is having a bad day, she is late for a presentation at work, it's raining, traffic is a nightmare and then it gets worse, she dies. What's a girl to do when she finds herself deceased and in the equivalent of a DMV office where she is given an impossible choice, die and go to purgatory or become a bounty hunter for souls. What would you do given that choice? Well she opts for hunter and there begins her adventure in the wonderful world of soul retreival. She meets her guide, Bill, her guardian angel who will accompany her, but knows as little as she does about what they will face. Tallis Black is a blade-smith and is hired officially to make Lily a sword for her missions but the moody Scotsman becomes more.
A nice first book that gave us an introduction to some interesting characters some good action and a new outlook on the afterlife. Who knew bureaucrats could be found in the hereafter. Loved this and really like Lily, I think she is going to be totally bad-ass once she gets her bearings. Can't wait for the next one!
Lily Harper is having a bad day, she is late for a presentation at work, it's raining, traffic is a nightmare and then it gets worse, she dies. What's a girl to do when she finds herself deceased and in the equivalent of a DMV office where she is given an impossible choice, die and go to purgatory or become a bounty hunter for souls. What would you do given that choice? Well she opts for hunter and there begins her adventure in the wonderful world of soul retreival. She meets her guide, Bill, her guardian angel who will accompany her, but knows as little as she does about what they will face. Tallis Black is a blade-smith and is hired officially to make Lily a sword for her missions but the moody Scotsman becomes more.
A nice first book that gave us an introduction to some interesting characters some good action and a new outlook on the afterlife. Who knew bureaucrats could be found in the hereafter. Loved this and really like Lily, I think she is going to be totally bad-ass once she gets her bearings. Can't wait for the next one!
March 2, 2014
I gave this book two stars because while the writing was done well, I just was not interested. I could not get into this book. I actually quit reading at 60%, so I did not even finish it. The characters do not pull you in and they lacked chemistry. Lily was a bore, Bill tried too hard, and Tallis, also a yawn, seemed like a neanderthal (maybe he was one!). Needless to say, I will not revisit this story or its sequels, which is sad because I LOVED Jolie's and Dulcie's books and eagerly awaited each book's release. I will read Mallory's other series in the future, but this one is a dud. The only way I could put it that a true reader would understand: you know that feeling when you love a story and cannot wait to read it: you stay up late, wake up early to revisit these characters, often do mundane things with the book (or in my case Kindle) in your hand (i.e. brushing your teeth). Before you fall asleep, you think about the characters and where their story may go. THAT is the story I crave. 'Better Off Dead' took me five days to get to 60% and I could only think "how am I only at 60%, I feel like I have been reading forever". I got another book on sale from Amazon when I was about 55% through this book (The Curse Keepers, if you are interested) and I was looking forward to reading that book; reading this one felt like walking through cement. I felt like I was putting too much effort in convincing myself to finish this book and decided to abandon it.
April 14, 2014
This was a truly different take on the whole soul–saver genre, if there is such a thing. I admit I started it with a bit of trepidation as I have read so many books with similar subject matter, and regretted it. I did not finish many of them because they were just plain gross. I am glad to say that I ventured through to the end of this one. No unnecessary, or gratuitous, sex and violence. Only what was needed to get the job done. Well done, H.P. I can honestly say that I could recommend this to quite a few of my friends without regret.
The tale itself is such a wonderful twist on the afterlife that I actually laughed at many parts. I probably wasn’t supposed to, but I’m big on irony. The main character isn’t so neurotic that I wanted to throw the book against the wall. I hate neurotic main characters. She was actually intelligent and courageous. Yay!
Overall, this book left me wanting more of these characters AND…I am now curious about this author’s other works as well. Once more…good job H.P.
The tale itself is such a wonderful twist on the afterlife that I actually laughed at many parts. I probably wasn’t supposed to, but I’m big on irony. The main character isn’t so neurotic that I wanted to throw the book against the wall. I hate neurotic main characters. She was actually intelligent and courageous. Yay!
Overall, this book left me wanting more of these characters AND…I am now curious about this author’s other works as well. Once more…good job H.P.
July 5, 2016
I have a thing against DNFing a book because I want to believe it will get better. I'm a firm believer that there is no such thing as a bad book, merely books that aren't for me. This book is definitely not for me. I'm DNFing this one just a few pages in. I simply cannot get past the sexist and insulting comments the main character makes about herself and others. I'm a character driven reader, and I strongly dislike how shallow this one is. Given how quickly I'm walking away from this book, it's possible she grows in later pages. But her tone is too insulting and demeaning for me to endure on a chance.
February 16, 2014
I'm sorry, I have loved other books by Mrs Mallory but Better Off Dead don't piqued my interest nor the protagonist Lily Harper, also I have had problems to understand Tallis, though Bill was very nice in spite of his sassy mouth. I think that the characters are little credible as the setting where was ambiented. Seems to me that what happened to Lily is too fast ,so isn't only she to be dazed and confused but also the reader.
July 26, 2016
Way too much crude, rude, trashy, foul language. The story started out cute and interesting, but the guardian angel should have totally been left out of the book. It would have been much, much better.
July 11, 2015
Another good book by HP Mallory. The story was very creative and the characters are likeable. I plan to read book 2 in this series and highly recommend this one and any other series by this author.
January 31, 2016
I loved this book! Lily is a great character and I love her raunchy guardian angel. He is just so funny! I hope something happens between her and Tallis in the next book. I have already started reading it!
October 21, 2019
Ends at 91%
Ugh. Hardly any romance. Interesting take on dates inferno. Detailed scenery and character descriptions, pretty raunchy guardian angel. So crude and disrespectful. Ugh.
Ugh. Hardly any romance. Interesting take on dates inferno. Detailed scenery and character descriptions, pretty raunchy guardian angel. So crude and disrespectful. Ugh.
tbr-later
December 24, 201422 September 2014: $0.00 FREE on Kindle
March 23, 2021
Lily wasn't supposed to die in her car accident. Due to her guardian angel being an alcoholic, (seriously?) she's given the job of retrieving souls, with a company car, a fancy schmancy new place to live and any body she wants to reside in.
I liked the Good Place, and therefore decided to give this a shot.
The problem was, I stopped just before she started her new job, and then I started thinking.
She picks to be in the body of a tall leggy blond with 36 D breasts and huge come-hither green eyes. In her life, she was a short chubby brunette.
Being a short brunette myself, (my weight is fine considering my past experience growing and birthing 4 children, thank-you-very-much) and being female (what, we all have things we don't like about ourselves), this got me thinking - what would I pick in the same scenario?
I would want to be me. My short, brunette self with my (cough) proportional breasts and freakishly small feet. Maybe it has something to do with hitting my 40s and knowing that the world doesn't get to decide how I feel about myself. -shrug-
Now, I'm all for books about girls that are shy, lacking in confidence and a definite work in progress. This book, however, seemed to be about a confident woman who slays demons and retrieves souls. Sorry, but confidence is essentially required for someone touting around a sword.
So, I can't read any more of this book, because I figure if she's not confident enough to be herself (see above with the demons), then she's not the sort of person I really want to know more about.
I liked the Good Place, and therefore decided to give this a shot.
The problem was, I stopped just before she started her new job, and then I started thinking.
She picks to be in the body of a tall leggy blond with 36 D breasts and huge come-hither green eyes. In her life, she was a short chubby brunette.
Being a short brunette myself, (my weight is fine considering my past experience growing and birthing 4 children, thank-you-very-much) and being female (what, we all have things we don't like about ourselves), this got me thinking - what would I pick in the same scenario?
I would want to be me. My short, brunette self with my (cough) proportional breasts and freakishly small feet. Maybe it has something to do with hitting my 40s and knowing that the world doesn't get to decide how I feel about myself. -shrug-
Now, I'm all for books about girls that are shy, lacking in confidence and a definite work in progress. This book, however, seemed to be about a confident woman who slays demons and retrieves souls. Sorry, but confidence is essentially required for someone touting around a sword.
So, I can't read any more of this book, because I figure if she's not confident enough to be herself (see above with the demons), then she's not the sort of person I really want to know more about.
December 28, 2020
Unfortunately not for me. It's not the absurd, yet amusing premise that the Y2K bug glitched Afterlife Enterprises computer system such that souls aren't where they're supposed to be so they're "employing" Retrievers to set these souls to rights. It's the characters that just didn't mesh well with me at all.
Lily was incredibly entitled and silly that I can't imagine her being the head of the marketing department at 22. The only smart thing she did was to pick out a modelesque body with a gorgeous face.
Bill was even worse. I get he's supposed to be the comic relief (even Lily calls him that), but none of his jokes are funny (Lily laughs at them and I feel like this is the book version of a TV sitcom laugh track *shudders*) and his nicknames for her are just weirdly crude - sugar mounds, nips... Ugh.
The Bladesmith is obviously tsundere and I've given him a pass only because he seems to be the only one that's got a fully fleshed out back story and a personality that's not grating.
I usually am disappointed when books end before I expect them to, but never have I been so relieved when this book ended at the 85% mark and the rest was an excerpt for the next instalment.
The pacing great, the story wasn't terrible (though some words were overused, such as using "wherewithal" at least 3 times in the opening chapters), it was just the characters that I really didn't enjoy reading.
Lily was incredibly entitled and silly that I can't imagine her being the head of the marketing department at 22. The only smart thing she did was to pick out a modelesque body with a gorgeous face.
Bill was even worse. I get he's supposed to be the comic relief (even Lily calls him that), but none of his jokes are funny (Lily laughs at them and I feel like this is the book version of a TV sitcom laugh track *shudders*) and his nicknames for her are just weirdly crude - sugar mounds, nips... Ugh.
The Bladesmith is obviously tsundere and I've given him a pass only because he seems to be the only one that's got a fully fleshed out back story and a personality that's not grating.
I usually am disappointed when books end before I expect them to, but never have I been so relieved when this book ended at the 85% mark and the rest was an excerpt for the next instalment.
The pacing great, the story wasn't terrible (though some words were overused, such as using "wherewithal" at least 3 times in the opening chapters), it was just the characters that I really didn't enjoy reading.
July 14, 2024
Loved this humorous action-adventure with a sassy but clueless heroine
I love HP Mallory’s books and this one didna disappoint either. If you love Rachel Rener’s Inked series, this one’s definitely up your alley.
22yo Lily Harper dies before she should and finds herself accepting the position of Soul Retriever for the AfterLife Enterprises. Before she can settle into her new apartment or the new body she picked, Lily finds herself on a mission to retrieve a lost soul from the Underworld with Bill, the guardian angel who failed her and a bladesmith called Tallis Black.
I loved everything about the book - the pace, the storyline, the characters, the humour. Above all, the humour! Bill and the mouth on him reminded me of Leo Getz, Axl Foley and Spike from Notting Hill all put together - hilarious! Lily was no wilting flower either and Tallis…mmm…a tall dark and Celtic grumpy sunshine who speaks in broque - yum! The adventures and Lily’s non-existent training were fabulous, Tallis’ blood magic was potent, the budding feelings were mutual and Bill’s running commentary was priceless. References to Dante’s Inferno as a guidemap to get there were cool, too. Definitely continuing with the series.
Recommended for lovers of NA action-adventure with sassy heroines in angelic rescue bizniz, hioarious Shrek’s Donkey-like sideline characters and grumpy sunshine protectors speaking in Scottish broque and wearing only kilts.
I love HP Mallory’s books and this one didna disappoint either. If you love Rachel Rener’s Inked series, this one’s definitely up your alley.
22yo Lily Harper dies before she should and finds herself accepting the position of Soul Retriever for the AfterLife Enterprises. Before she can settle into her new apartment or the new body she picked, Lily finds herself on a mission to retrieve a lost soul from the Underworld with Bill, the guardian angel who failed her and a bladesmith called Tallis Black.
I loved everything about the book - the pace, the storyline, the characters, the humour. Above all, the humour! Bill and the mouth on him reminded me of Leo Getz, Axl Foley and Spike from Notting Hill all put together - hilarious! Lily was no wilting flower either and Tallis…mmm…a tall dark and Celtic grumpy sunshine who speaks in broque - yum! The adventures and Lily’s non-existent training were fabulous, Tallis’ blood magic was potent, the budding feelings were mutual and Bill’s running commentary was priceless. References to Dante’s Inferno as a guidemap to get there were cool, too. Definitely continuing with the series.
Recommended for lovers of NA action-adventure with sassy heroines in angelic rescue bizniz, hioarious Shrek’s Donkey-like sideline characters and grumpy sunshine protectors speaking in Scottish broque and wearing only kilts.
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