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368 pages, Paperback
First published June 11, 2013
"Accidents, illness, genetics, bad luck.Our unnamed MC is known in the main arc of the story as "Benjamin." We are not given an entire back history of his past, but we do get glimpses of it in flashbacks. When he was twelve years old, his parents were killed by the Program, and he became initiated into it.
There are a thousand ways to die."
"Whatever I decided, my life was no longer my own. I could give it up forever and join my parents, or I could join The Program.He is seemingly stripped of personality, adapting it to the situation as it fits. He observes a new environment first, assesses the mark and like a skilled spy, selects the best method and personality to adapt in order to infiltrate his target. We're not meant to love him, Ben is a highly trained killer. He has killed before, we watch him kill not even 10 pages into the book. He does so again and again, methodically, instinctively, but never maliciously or needlessly. He is a soldier, it is his job. Ben does the same with this situation, but the daughter of the new mark turns out to be someone unexpected. Ben is successful at getting close to the target...but to his shock, to his bewilderment, he just can't bring himself to kill his target.
Twelve years old, and I had to make a choice between life and death.
I chose death.
Ironically, it was what they were looking for. It showed them the level of character they were seeking, the list of personality characteristics appropriate to a potential soldier.
Intensity.
Black-or-white thinking.
Stubbornness.
Allegiance without regard to consequence.
They took my allegiance and transformed it into something that would serve them."
"...passion plus intellect, with some deep emotional baggage beneath the surface."A bit stereotypical? Maybe, but she is well-written in her complexity, and I found myself loving her character. Sam doesn't buy the whole new-boy-falls-in-love act; she is not overly stubborn and bitchy, but she calls out bullshit when she sees it.
"'I don’t know,' I say. “Something about you, I guess. I can see you’re different.'They do not meet cute. Ben and Sam clash, yet they see in each other a spark, something that draws them to each other. There is no insta-love as Ben meets her and assesses how to best get close to her, and as she sees Ben and gets the impression that he is smart-ass bystander lacking in intelligence. Yet, as they fight, the sparks fly, and they are drawn to each other on a deeper level than that of initial attraction.
It’s a classic ploy. Express interest in a girl you just met. If you do it right, you can charm her, or at least pique her interest.
'You're playing games,' she says. 'We don’t know each other, so how do you know I’m different?'
So much for the classics."

Asking questions is not what I do. I’m given an assignment, and I carry it out.
”I think you’re tough outside, but you’re soft inside.”
“And you?”
“I’m soft everywhere,” she says.


”What did you do, Howard?”
“I was playing with myself, okay? In the library. Back in the ninth grade.”
He looks at the ground.
“That’s embarrassing,” I say, “but you can’t be the first guy to look for a happy ending in the library.”
I do not need these things, only the lesson they have taught me. What is the lesson?
"Are you okay, Ben?"
What is the lesson? Survive. No matter what happens to you, no matter the circumstances, no matter what life tosses at you - the losses, the pain. You must survive.
"I'm fine."





♫ I Am Machine by Three Days Grace --Boy nobody is kind of a machine, but maybe he's developing some feelings along the way.♫

This first person pov was a little hard to get into for me. Despite being realistically well done for being in the head of a teenage boy, it was a bit unusual, although easily comprehended. It was definitely unique way of writing. I think it just left me feeling distanced from the story overall.
⇝Sex Factor⇜ …yes, there is, although not explicit but this kind of threw everything off for me.