How to Get From Monday to Friday in 12 Days

by Erma Bombeck

"Her audience is everyone who has ever married, had children, gotten to middle age, owned a dog or a duck."
DALLAS TIMES HERALD
In this book Erma comes out--out of the kitchen--with these gems:
No longer will she be the only woman on the block to wear a slip under a see-through sweater, or feel guilty if the sun sets on an empty crockpot, nor will she care that she flunked her paper towel test. Our Erma is on her way to becoming a sub-total woman.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Memoir, Self Help, Biography, Essays

Paperback

First published January 1, 1979

About the author

Erma Louise Bombeck, born Erma Fiste, was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for a newspaper column that depicted suburban home life humorously, in the second half of the 20th century.

For 31 years since 1965, Erma Bombeck published 4,000 newspaper articles. Already in the 1970s, her witty columns were read, twice weekly, by thirty million readers of 900 newspapers of USA and Canada. Besides, the majority of her 15 books became instant best sellers.

Reviews

[Ami E. Bowen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Erma's books! While other kids were sneakily reading the latest issue of Batman or Archie & Veronica comic books between the pages of their schoolbooks during class I was trying not to get caught laughing too loudly at the pages of the latest book by humorist author Erma Bombeck. Its safe to say that I grew up with her books and her name, and stories, just like V.C. Andrews', another author I grew up reading, brings back a lot of good reading memories. Erma, and her writing, will be dearly missed. We lucky that she left behind a treasure trove of very funny writing in her wake for generations to enjoy.

[Megan Gery · Rating 2 out of 5]

I generally love Erma's books. She's witty and dry and I want to have her over for dinner. But this one didn't resonate with me somehow. I chuckled a few times, but too many of the references were before my time. Sorry, Erma. We didn't connect on this one. But you're still welcome to dinner any time.

[Pamela Faust · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny book about Erma’s tribulations of “self-discovery” in getting through 62 “self-help” books. Either the books were fake or her analysis was, the ultimate funny advice is to forget reading that crap and just work on being happy.

[Sophia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Remember the self-help book craze? Okay, I know self-help books are still being written and the concepts taken for a spin. They are great ways to broaden the mind and teach other methods than we've been trying. So, I'm not throwing any shade, but it is fun to find humor in life and that is what domestic humorist, Erma Bombeck, does with when she turns her satire eye on self-help book advice taken by an exhausted stay-at-home mom and wife of teenagers.

Each chapter, Erma dedicates to following the advice of a different self-help guide- and, no, these aren't real books or theories being poked at, but there was a grain of truth in the telling which makes the humor all the more rich.

I found the book entertaining and funny, but it is dated so anyone who hasn't seen at least as far back as the seventies might not catch the significance of some of the references. All in all, light and amusing old-style humor.

[Renita D'Silva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this one.

[Elizabeth Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

While dated, this is an interesting read that reminded me how hard we judge ourselves. I really enjoyed the witty humor and funny names she used as names and places.

[Anne Hawn Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of the material is dated, but it is still funny. In fact, looking at all those self-help books Erma read to improve herself is a reminder of belly-button gazing that went on in the late 70's and how impossible they sound now. All those encounter groups and self-actualization we did at work frequently interfered with the time we had to do our jobs. At home, we were encouraged to second guess everything we did with our spouses and children. The silliest thing is that we actually thought they might work. I can remember thinking that some of the child-rearing recommendations worked wonderfully with my compliant child, but that is not the one I was having trouble with.

And that is what the book is all about. Erma brings her remarkable ability to create humor out of our best and worst selves. We see ourselves in our attempts to find the book that will give us the lives of the fictionalized TV family v

[Debbie Wentworth Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I was in high school, I loved Erma Bombeck's columns. My favorite was the one about Erma's considering adopting a teenage doll and its pros and cons, which is not in this book. My mom would leave the newspaper open on the table for me to see her favorites when I got home from school.

"Just as soon as I got my head together, my body went." (p. 69)

In Aunt Erma's Cope Book, Erma takes us through a year of reading self-help books suggested by her friends. She introduces us to extreme versions of popular philosophies of the times and her ridiculous takes on them. The book will appeal to middle-aged and older women and covers ideas from weight loss to getting your child to move out to midlife romance. This was humor that was really funny, and at times I found myself looking back at similar concerns. This was an Everywoman's look at life and humor.

[Katy Kotlarczyk · Rating 3 out of 5]

While some of the humor is outdated (and focused on stay at home moms), the age-old efforts of self-help and mom-judgment remain and provide good fodder for Bombecks book.

[Candice Hopper-Owrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was supposed to be funny. I think it was the most depressing book I’ve ever read. Why? The acceptance of the hell of domesticity. Her husband is an ass who needs kicked to the curb. Her kids treat her like a slave. “Oh ha ha ha a joke about how she has to basically be a slave, so funny. No romance, no appreciation, just existence. I freaking love my husband right now. He’s not perfect but he’s never expected me to cook or take care of his every whim. I’m not giving up every small comfort for children. I had a strong independent mom so maybe I don’t know normal. If this was the normal middle class life of a woman I’d have wished death. The book is “oh let’s laugh at these little parts of domestic life but let’s still accept it”. Every page I was horrified. I did feel better after reading about her own accomplishments and life. I get this is supposed to be laughing at the middle class suburban life in the 70s but there is truth in humor and the realization this was the life for women is utterly depressing. Yes as women we can still relate to the world on our shoulders, never ending laundry, and teenagers who all think they know better. My frustration is her acceptance of such an awful existence. I’m sad because this was a reality. I’m sure it’s hilarious for women who get up at 4 to cook their family breakfast, has a husband with no clue where her clitoris is, and has the weekly highlight of grocery shopping. Me? It made me want to glare at every man within a 5 mile radius. Not funny-utterly depressing. I think humor about accepting horrible lives is the worst humor. Funny would have been an editorial about her husband learning to cook his own meals when she quit-not a freaking accomplished writer still taking care of these lazy assholes. Who will like these? Probably stay at home moms who choose it for religious reasons and have accepted that they are less than their husband. “Oh ha ha ha he can’t scrub the skid marks out of his own underwear. Aren’t men so funny. Good thing he has me”. It’s that kind of humor.

[Shiloah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Therapy for the harried mom. I can’t get enough of Erma. Her books are a blessed release. It’s nice to remember you’re normal.

[Berry Muhl · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK, I have some more perspective on Erma now. I think my problem with the previous book was the structure. It was basically a long musing over an extended weekend during which her children came back home in order to participate in a Christmas card photo shoot. My main critique of it now is that this is pretty thin material to stretch into a book. Her essays were correspondingly thin and somewhat repetitious.

This book has a more substantial theme, and covers a more substantial portion of her life. It's correspondingly richer and more detailed. She doesn't have to stretch the material to cover a whole book. Each chapter flows naturally from a set of episodes she experienced during her self-improvement phase. The humor is the same, but somewhat denser and less strained.

Check it out, especially if you're considering getting on the self-help bandwagon.

[Sonali Cherian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a tongue-in-cheek, how-NOT-to book that’ll leave you amused after every chapter.

Erma Bombeck’s how-to-cope book takes you through her year-long project spent reading 62 self-help books and articles on how to constantly be better & braver at life. After a rather hilarious year of many trials & even more errors, of trying to find her life’s purpose and trying to make it more meaningful and productive; Erma arrives at the realisation that you cannot just find happiness. It finds you only when you stop looking for it and start being yourself. By being happy with your self and by not taking life so seriously.


Set in 1970’s American suburbia, it’s a quick & easy read.

[BookOfCinz · Rating 2 out of 5]

*meh* It had some moments where I cracked a smile but for the most part I remain bored. Again, I should wait till I am ten years older to read her books, maybe then I will have a greater appreciation for the book.

[jeffrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

A dopey book with mostly outdated cultural references and humor. I'm sure in it's time it was considered hilarious.

[Karen-Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always funny.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Her cultural references are dated, but I'm old so I still understand them all. She makes writing about the absurdity of family life look effortless. I will always love her.

[Bev · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another book found during the "book clean out," a Bombeck book I had not read. Erma Bombeck is my hero and "Funny the World" came to be so I could figure out if I had the ability to write a daily column. Nearly 20 years later, I've proven that I can, but I have yet to write anything that came up to the level of Erma Bombeck's daily columns.

This is one of her earlier books, in which she tackles self help books and the problems that can arise in trying to change your life according to the precepts of a book It's very funny. I particularly liked the chapter on "living cheap" where she suggests an at-home vacation to save money. "Let's think f it as Disneyland...The kitchen is Adventureland, the utility room is Frontierland, the garage is Tomorrowland, the bathroom Main Street USA, and the bedroom Fantasyland."

Very funny book. But then all of her books are

[Marsha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humorist writer Bombeck makes satiric references to her life using books that were popular in the 1970s. For instance, instead of “Fear of Flying” she writes about “Fear of Buying” and Bombeck writes about how the TV commercials would show people how their lives would be all-so-more-perfect if their products were purchased.

This book is copyrighted in 1979, and in each chapter she spoofs on self-help issues as self-help books were all the rage in the 1970s. However, what is particularly interesting is that not all that much has changed since 1979. For instance, in a chapter on the popularly of jogging, jogging today is still quite popular. Probably the only main difference is that in the late 1970s, some joggers ran while listening to their Walkman and today joggers can use small mp3 players.

However, in one chapter Emma entitles “Is There A Draft in Your Open Marriage?,” Emma writes that her teen son asked her one day: “How come you and Dad never lived together before tying the knot?”

Emma realized that she and her husband were “dinosaurs” as they had never thought to live together before getting married. She writes: "Were married people an endangered species? In time would they talk of the days when men and women roamed the earth in wedlock as matched sets? Was it possible that some day cohabital living would be sanctified relationship and marriage would be frowned by society?"

This is interesting, as in many ways this has come to pass. Many couples live together without marriage. There is no more shame and it is not a new concept as it was in the 1960s and 1970s. There are even thousands of unwedded couples with children. I would not say that marriage is “frowned by society,” but it is no longer considered a necessity to many people.

I enjoyed this book as it was a creative and fun read and makes me appreciate why Erma Bombeck was so popular.

[Darlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sub-title: How To Get From Monday To Friday…In 12 Days

Having read this years ago, I came across it again when cleaning out some dated books in my shelves to, what else, make room for more. Before I packed it for redistribution, I read it again. This is classic Erma Bombeck. She appears to have reached a ‘middle-age crisis’ in this offering where she takes on self-help books. She tackles appearances, guilt complexes, and sports in her pursuit of happiness, self-improvement, raising her consciousness.

“For a man going through his metallic age (silver hair, gold teeth, and lead bottom) he did cut quite a figure.”

“By the time I was thirty, I knew enough about guilt to start spreading a little of it myself. After all, how would my children know anything about it if I didn’t set an example?”

“I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill.”

She even offers a bit of insight from her mother: “In her infinite wisdom, my mother offered yet another observation on my months of self-examination, devotion to improvement, and quest for happiness. She said, “I’ll be glad when you hit menopause. It’ll take your mind off your problems.””

As stated on the jacket cover: “If you too are trying to cope--and you can’t seem to get from Monday to Friday in less than 12 days--Aunt Erma’s Cope Book is for you. Read it and weep--with laughter.” I enjoyed and recommend this quick read.

[Sheila Carsins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Loved Erma's Book!

What's not to like? Reading a book by Erma Bombeck, is like enjoying lunch with old friends-- fun, and funny, witty, and even a little bit sad when it's done and time to go your separate ways. I can totally relate to her, and it's such a relief to discover someone who has experienced similar circumstances, and managed to find the humor in the most unexpected places. It puts it all in perspective, and for the duration of her books, life's happier, like wearing rose-colored glasses, and finding laughter in the most unexpected places. All of the best self improvement books in the world can't compete with Erma's journey through them, and her ultimate revelation to "BE YOURSELF!"

I didn't realize that Erma had left this Earth too early, and I will miss her, and her wonderful sense of humor. The world is a better place because she was in it! I'll miss her! I will continue to read and re-read her fabulous books whenever I am in need of cheer, and a big dose of "Happy!" They're timeless. Thanks for including pictures and captions of Erma at the end of the book! It was such a lovely way to wrap up the book. Cheers!

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Once the post war American couple was settled in the suburbs with 2.4 children, a mortgage, a car, and a dog things began to get messy. Suburbs weren't often full communities so there was a lack of grandparents, single people, and couples with no children. As soon as you have a one appearance community people have to create problems. This is what Erma responded to in this book. Women discovered that it was very difficult to be a 'real person' when there are all sorts of demands laid on you by others who just assume it's part of your role and you will get busy and form yourself into the person it takes to fill that role.
Sheesh - Erma's writing a book of humorous essays about do it yourself psychology. All we have to do is laugh and that is fairly easy with her straight forward narrative style. The only bit that would cause a younger reader to raise eyebrows is the chapter on the gas shortage and the hours spent waiting for a chance at the pump.
A quick and amusing read.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

And I do mean that, it was okay. Not one of her best books but did have some entertaining parts, especially the "if you do so and so you'll regret it for the rest of your life". The book is dated which may turn off some readers but hell, if you are an avid reader of Erma than that probably won't bother you :). What didn't work for me in this book is that she changed all the titles of actual self help books to clever little titles. It got to be a bit much. I wish that she would have used the actual titles instead. The book was kind of choppy and seemed to be written at a fast pace, with too much of a formula. Bring up a funny title, she tried what they suggested, kids or husband did something, funny anecdotes, then she would meet someone who would suggest another book. It is a quick read and granted there are some cute giggly parts but for much better Erma books read "Motherhood the second oldest profession" or "A Marriage made in heaven or too tired to have an affair. "

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a high-schooler in the late '90s I loved Erma Bombeck. I picked up several of her paperbacks at the library's used book sale and read and reread them to pieces. I think they provided some respite from my other literary love at the time: Stephen King. This one I hadn't read yet, and picked it up to see if the old zing was still there.

I found this less funny than I did 20 years ago, but surprisingly there was still a lot that resonated woven in between the dated references. The competition between women - working moms vs. stay-at-homes for example - is still going strong. The struggle to keep a marriage vibrant, or even together, is still a hot topic (I wonder how Bombeck would have reacted to Facebook's latest "Love Your Spouse" challenge: post pictures of your spouse for 7 days...). In short, I still find a lot to love in Erma's work. Her frank look at reality makes me feel very much not alone as I try to juggle all the stuff of life.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely, completely and totally LOVE Erma Bombeck. I credit my grandmother for introducing me to her when I was young. Of course, I didn't really "get it" at that time, but after she passed away I was given some books that she had written my name in and there was an Erma Bombeck among them.

I grabbed this book for a quarter at a garage sale (SCORE) and it did not disappoint. Each chapter represents a self-help book that she is reading in order to find herself and her happiness. Even though I am a couple decades younger than her in this book, my kids are still very young and it is a different world I can completely relate to what she is saying. I laughed out loud throughout (almost) the entire book. Maybe I'm biased, but I think she can do no wrong and I am so thankful that my grandma let me in on her hilarious secret!

[Suzyberry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though we lost the bright and jubilant author many years ago, I continue to re-read all the books she wrote. Erma Bombeck took the crazy, the ordinary and even the tragic events of everyday life and spun them into a story that was always easily understood and in the end made you see the circumstances differently...in a more positive and definitely more humorous light. Her books should never be stuffed away and forgotten because this world needs a giant lift out of the doldrums and we all need to have a smile on our faces much more often than we do. God bless Erma for seeing life as it really is and then helping us smile just a little more at the craziness of it all. Read this book and ALL her books...you will be a better person for it.

[Jan Kellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who doesn't like Erma Bombeck? I'm giving this five stars for her relentless attention to satirical humor in every sentence. No one can match Erma for humor writing.

Each chapter shares Erma's experience with a self-help book she reads on the advice of friends, acquaintances, or her kids' teachers. Here's a brief example of Erma's experience with following her horoscope: Prediction: You get a chance today to provide guidance and inspiration. Fact: I chaperoned thirty fourth-graders ona tour of a meat-packing plant. Prediction: One you thought had abandoned you is back in the picture. Fact: We found a roach under the sink.

Even though this book was written in 1989, it's perfectly relatable today.

[Atlantis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always enjoyed Erma Bombeck's writing. I remember I first found one of her books lying around the house that my Mom had been reading when I was a kid. I found them funny even then. I was so happy to see that her work has been converted to e-format and I was able to check this out from my local online library. This book is her take on "Self-Help" books. Some of the writing is definitely dated but the themes and ideas are still relevant today. I found myself wondering what Erma would write about today and how she would feel about things like smartphones and flat screen HI-Def T.V...alas I will not get answers to these burning questions but I reassure myself that I would most assuredly laugh. :-)

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Erma Bombeck displays her usual amusing take on being a woman in the 70's. She's undertaken a journey to find herself with the help of self-help books, many of which are very thinly veiled satires of actual tomes from the late 70's. While hilarious and well-written, and like a lot written during this era, this book emphasizes and humorizes the role of a wife, mother, employee, and feminist.
Probably best when read in the 1970's, although I wasn't there, so I couldn't say. I had the feeling that a lot of this was just sailing right over my head. Still enjoyed reading it, though, which says a lot.

[MD · Rating 5 out of 5]

I confess that Aunt Erma is a favorite of mine; she understands me, even though she was a married woman and parented children way before I was alive. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I'd rather say Erma's universal.

She didn't have to deal with some of the stuff we currently have plaguing us: cell phones, the internet, text messages, Twitter, but everything she says rings true.

Read this...even if you think she's out-dated; even if you think she cannot possibly have anything to say about how we live our lives, raise our children, spend our money, run our households, and view ourselves.

Erma always manages to make me laugh, and I am grateful for this more and more with each passing year.