Quiereme Bien: Una historia de maltrato

by Rosalind B. Penfold

“In this deft, honest work, writer-illustrator Penfold documents how she traveled from successful businesswoman to abused wife and back again.” — Publishers Weekly Rosalind B. Penfold is an appealing, successful thirty-five-year-old businesswoman running her own company when her parents, worried that she works too hard, invite her to a country picnic-party one weekend. There she meets widower Brian and is swept off her feet. Romantic and exuberant, with four loving children, Brian seems like everything a woman could possibly want, and Roz falls deeply in love. But soon Roz begins to notice troubling signs that Brian is not what he seems. A pattern of lies and petty cruelties begins to emerge that, over the course of their decade together, comes to encompass a litany of physical, mental, and sexual abuse appalling in its scope and malevolence. Often too traumatized and ashamed to admit the true extent of what she is experiencing, Roz instead pours her anguish into a series of graphic diaries that provide a touching, profoundly shocking, and completely original portrait of domestic abuse. An extraordinary visual testimony, Dragonslippers presents the many warning signs of abuse and offers a frank examination of the psychology of both abusers and victims. Above all, this is the story of a woman who fights for and finds the strength to break free.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Nonfiction, Comics, Memoir, Biography, Psychology, Abuse

264 pages, Paperback

First published September 23, 2005

About the author

Rosalind B. Penfold is a pseudonym of a woman who told her true story about abusive relationship in her graphic memoir. According to her, "I have chosen a pseudonym because there are many 'Rosalinds' and I was just one of them."

Reviews

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel compelled to give a brief explanation for giving this otherwise powerful testimony of a survivor's experience with abuse only 3 stars.

SPOILERS

There were 2-3 pages that insinuated the abuser was sexually abusing one of his daughters, with no follow up from the author regarding if she ever reported it. She does for a moment show her self-doubt at what she believes she witnessed him doing, and briefly speaks with the child's pediatrician, who tells her without physical evidence his hands are tied. He does inform her that as a witness she can report it. She is torn as to what the right decision would be at this point, worried that it might make things worse or that she may have imagined it. This is a justifiable thought process coming from someone in the midst of an abusive relationship. However after she has left the abuser and is moving on with therapy and healing, the children are only brought up as people she had to ''let go'' in order to save herself. (Which is understandable as they were children he brought into the relationship and she did not have guardianship) There was no follow up as to what she did to try to protect the children, even from a distance. Did she call CPS? The authorities? Anything? I feel that she had a responsibility to at least address the ramifications of her choices on this matter before or during the conclusion of her story. Maybe an afterward that explains later actions, or why she didn't at that time. I understand and feel an immense compassion for her emotional and mental state during her ordeal with this horrible man. I am glad she escaped, and is on a path of healing and sharing her very important story. But when it comes to the sexual abuse of a child, I simply cannot ignore something that should be more than a footnote. It is for this reason that I cannot give this book the 5 stars it otherwise deserves. 3 stars.

[Saboteadora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Durillo de leer pero muy bien contado y expresado. Roz repasa las cosas que ocurrieron y explica cómo la confundían, las veces que intentaba encontrar explicaciones al comportamiento de su pareja, por qué volvía a perdonarlo y seguía con él en vez de dejarlo... Creo que logra hacerse entender muy bien.

[¸.•*¨*•Gina *A Bookwyrm in Belgium*•*¨*•.¸ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Painful, but so important.
If you ever wondered why someone stay - read this.

[Pers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for women, especially young professionals looking to settle down. Penfold does an amazing job of showing how even a strong, mature, independent, successful woman can fall victim to an abuser. She gives us astute insight into the psychology of an abused woman--the explaining away, the excusing, the denial, the defensiveness, the self doubt--and a very clear picture of what an abusive relationship looks like from the first date to the last goodbye.

Many of the panels in the book, she drew in the midst of the relationship as a way of journalling, not ready to really process what she was recording. Only in looking back through her secret stash of drawings, did she recognise the signs and patterns the pictures held. Now she's committed to teaching other women to recognise these red flags sooner through this book and her website: http://www.dragonslippers.com/learn.html

Remember ladies, intensity is not intimacy!

[Maricruz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enormemente didáctico sobre el maltrato y la violencia de género, una visión desde dentro de cómo se construye una relación abusiva, los signos de alarma, cómo se llega a culpar a sí misma la víctima, las nocivas ideas sembradas por el mito del amor romántico... Todo. Muy recomendable en especial para adolescentes (mejor prevenir...).

[Monik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Una novela gráfica que conmueve, remueve y te hace reflexionar mucho tiempo después de leída. Espero que esté en todas las bibliotecas del mundo, sobre todo las escolares.

[Sandra Miret · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creo que todo el mundo debería leer este libro.

Un cómic creado por la protagonista. Una historia real. Un libro que nos permite entrar en una realidad tan desgarradora como real: la del maltrato.

Rosalind nos explica cómo empezó todo, cómo siguió y cómo terminó. Nos permite entender cual fue su viaje, sus dudas, su aislamiento, sus ilusiones, su amor y su pena.

Este libro es dolor pero también es antídoto. Es necesario leerlo para entender lo que ocurre a nuestro alrededor. Lo que ocurre en muchas relaciones que se camuflan tras la máscara o el disfraz de “una relación normal”.
Un libro para entender el maltrato, el amor romántico, la culpa y mucho más.

Os recomiendo increíblemente leer este libro.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rosalind B. Penfold es una mujer fuerte, independiente, con una carrera profesional exitosa y un entorno estable. Un día Rosalind conoce en una fiesta a Brian , viudo con cuatro hijos, e inicia de inmediato una relación romántica y apasionada con él . De manera lenta y progresiva el idilio inicial se torna en una historia de celos y maltrato que la atrapa y deja aislada de su familia y amigos. Rosalind B. Penfold es el pseudónimo utilizado por una mujer canadiense que sufrió durante 10 años una relación tóxica y “Quiéreme bien” es su relato, publicado por Lumen en el año 2006 y reeditado ahora por Astiberri.

Lo primero que hay que dejar claro sobre esta obra es que, sin dudarlo, hay que leerla. Por el tema que trata, por desgracia de una terrible vigencia, y por cómo lo trata, con sinceridad, sencillez y desde el testimonio en primera persona. La descripción de las fases del maltrato (la perplejidad inicial , la negación, el sentimiento de culpa de la víctima, la destrucción de sus redes de apoyo y su autoestima…), la ruptura de estereotipos (nadie, tenga la condición social o personal que tenga, está a salvo de caer en una relación nociva) y el mensaje de alerta contra la peligrosa idea de amor romántico que nos vende la sociedad por activa y por pasiva convierten esta obra en una excelente candidata a posibles lecturas recomendadas para trabajar con alumnos de bachillerato o incluso víctimas de maltrato físico y/o psicológico.

Lo segundo que salta a la vista es que la parte gráfica de este libro no es su mejor carta de presentación. Sin tener referencias previas, es fácil que alguien ojee la obra y la descarte desanimado por el dibujo. Hay que traspasar ese rechazo inicial. La autora se descubre como una dibujante mediocre, pero una muy buena narradora. Durante su tortuosa relación, Rosalind B. Penfold encontró cierto alivio dibujando hechos y sentimientos en unas hojas de papel para intentar comprender lo que le estaba pasando. Éstas acabaron olvidadas dentro de una caja de cartón. Años después, tras su proceso de terapia, se reencontró con este material y decidió publicarlo, añadiendo algunas escenas que completan el relato. El resultado es un diario personal sincero, muy directo, con un dibujo naif que llega al lector despojado de licencias literarias y artificios.

Lo tercero que hay que advertir de “Quiéreme bien” es que es una obra que toca. Su lectura puede ser en algunos momentos incómoda, dolorosa, pero básicamente provoca mala leche. Primero contra el personaje de Brian, maltratador de manual, un personaje abyecto que manipula, controla y abusa y al que cuesta otorgar cualquier tipo de justificación o disculpa. En segundo lugar contra la propia autora, mujer perfectamente capacitada a ojos de la sociedad a la que vemos caer, perplejos, en una relación destructiva a pesar de las evidentes (para el lector) señales de alarma. Y finalmente, mala leche contra uno mismo, por caer, ni que sea por un breve instante, en el “victim blaming” (culpar a la víctima) y perpetuar la idea errónea de que una mujer fuerte y con recursos económicos no caerá nunca en una relación de maltrato. Y este es el mayor logro de esta obra: romper ideas preconcebidas y desarmar estructuras mentales erróneas. La portada nos presenta a una mujer sin rostro , una mujer que podría ser cualquier mujer. Y es que nadie está a salvo de caer en una relación dañina.

Lo dicho. Lean este libro. Y después recomiéndenlo.

https://13millonesdenaves.com/quierem...

[Emi gosto ruim · Rating 4 out of 5]

mas e as crianças? ela sabia do abuso e oq ela fez pra ajudar? entendo todo o ponto que ela tinha que se salvar primeiro. mas as crianças continuam lá e nao só isso como tentaram tirar a própria vida. fiquei com essa pulga atrás da orelha

[Stewart Tame · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm often at a loss as to where to begin reviews of books like this one. First off, the title is descriptive. I'd normally try to give a brief summary of what the book is about, but the title already does that, and much more succinctly and beautifully than I ever could. It's also autobiographical comics, which are hard to review because you don't want to sound like you're criticizing someone's life just because they told about it in a clumsy fashion or something. Still, when I joined Goodreads, I made myself a promise that I was going to write at least a brief review of everything I read from that point on. Nothing to do but forge ahead ...

The names have been changed, and "Rosalind B. Penfold" is a pseudonym, because who was involved in the story is less important than the fact that it happened. Rosalind spent ten years of her life in a relationship with a man who abused her. She shows how they first met, and all of the qualities that attracted her. She depicts her denial and excuses for his behavior with an honesty that is, at times, heart-breaking. In the end, she found the strength to leave, but it was by no means an easy process.

How the book came together is an interesting story. Many of the panels in this book are drawings that were done pretty much at the time the events depicted were happening. It was going through the drawings, years later, that gave her the idea to make a book, and she did new drawings to link everything together. So the panels mostly started out in life as individual sketches. Despite how much of a patchwork project that sounds like, it works quite well. It helps that Penfold has a loose, cartoony style which helps everything fit together.

All in all, this is an impressive--if somewhat harrowing emotionally--book. Very much recommended, especially if you're a fan of autobiography in comics form.

[Ije the Devourer of Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was excellent but it was incredibly hard to read.

I think it should be required reading for everyone, not just women because men can find themselves in abusive relationships too. Anyone can find themself in an abusive relationship and it need not just be within a romantic relationship either. There are plenty of cases where people are abusing or exploiting elderly family members, or siblings, or children. Familes can be places of great joy but also places of great pain.

I thought this book was powerful and very disturbing. It will stay with me for a long time. I picked it up from my library quite by chance and I wasn't sure I should read it but I am glad I did. It is horrifying but it makes you realise how difficult it can be to leave an abusive relationship.

In the story the author alludes to suspected child abuse and possibly traumatised children I do wish she had addressed that in more detail. I do hope that help was eventually given to the children especially since other people outside the family had noticed something was wrong and had complained to the authorities.

The best dialogue in the book was between the author and her mother when they were discussing her leaving him:

Rosalind: Maybe he just needed this wake up call......

Mum: What do you call these wake-ups?
His wife died
He lost his job
He got arrested for Assault
His daughter slit her wrists
The nanny quit
Even the poor dog died!
How many wake -up calls does he need?

Mum: As a matter of fact, How many do you need?

Rosalind: But I love him!

Mum: Then maybe you need a New Definition of Love!

Big up to the mother who was able to speak a powerful truth to her daughter at a time of great difficulty. Her friends were also able to do so too.

The artwork was simple in black and white and yet these drawings managed to tell the story in such a powerful way. I was gripped by the horror of the story and the way it conveyed the emotional turmoil involved. Not a story for the fainthearted but despite that definitely one everyone should read.

[Lindee Lee Keller]

My experience with this book is probably shaped a lot by having read a lot of books, memoir and social science, on the topic of intimate abuse. It is possible that had I come to this book new to these realities, I would have gotten more out of it-- it's certainly not that it's not valuable and I am glad the author shared her story. There were just a lot of really fucked-up things happening that I had to journey through with her, not new to me as someone who reads a ton of books on trauma that make me cry and feel sick to my stomach, but without (for me) the payoffs of new insight that have made it worth it. This may also have to do with me being more linguistically than visually inclined.

Visually: I did really appreciate how well the drawings she made at the time of these events captures what it's like to kind of feel yourself and your understanding of what is happening disintegrating in the face of sudden violence, and that is something this graphic memoir brought to the table I can't say I've seen elsewhere. Her repeated multipanel depictions of how the relationship transitions from almost overwhelming affection and attention to behavior that is half cold, to behavior that has become largely cold and increasingly frighteningly explosive sprinkled with moments of that original warmth, really nailed it in a way more emotionally resonant than a plain description can do.

I don't know whether or not I wish I hadn't read it. It is well done. I might need to start considering that most graphic memoirs on this topic are going to be focused on vividly reliving the emotional reality of being abused and for me that's a thing to be tolerated for other payoffs, not something I want for catharsis or perspective, so I had better be fairly certain there will be some of those going in.

[Melanie Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has been in an abusive relationship, this book hit a nerve with me. It felt so familiar, sad and scary. The book is a comic, so it seems like light reading; however, it's not. I think the comic book style makes it easier to read though. The entire book the author felt like it was her fault. My favorite quote is actually on the last page - "If you are in an abusive relationship does not mean you're stupid or unaware or unworthy. It may mean that you're compassionate and sensitive and trusting - and easily taken advantage of". This should be required reading for all young women as they navigate into dating life.

[April Hochstrasser · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was actually thinking I was reading Dragon Slippers. But I checked out DragonSlippers instead. I was surprised to find a tale told in comic book format of a normal assertive woman who got sucked into an abusive relationship. No one thinks it could happen to them, but, if it could happen to this woman, it could happen to anyone. A fast read at about 30 minutes and worth the time.

[Senga krew_w_piach · Rating 4 out of 5]

Osobista relacja autorki ze związku, w którym była ofiarą przemocy oparta na rysunkach, które Rosalind tworzyła w trakcie trwania tej 10-letniej relacji jako formę dziennika.
Przebieg jest klasyczny - wielka miłość, osaczanie, odcinanie partnerki od świata, nadkontrola, manipulowanie, zdrady, poniżanie, przepraszanie, przychylanie nieba i tak w kółko. Znamy to bardzo dobrze, niemniej uważam, że zawsze warto przypominać jak działają te mechanizmy.
Chociaż postępowanie partnera autorki wpisuje się w schemat działania oprawców, są tu sceny wstrząsające, jak zmuszenie kobiety do zrobienia loda tuż po jej powrocie z aborcji.
Komiks jest z 2006 r., więc z perspektywy psychologicznej nie wszystkie informacje są aktualne (na przykład opisywanie tu syndromu sztokholmskiego), ale większość na pewno pozwala wejść w czasie lektury w buty ofiary.

Ja mam z tą pozycją dwa problemy. Pierwszy mniejszy - Penfold skupia się głównie na opisywaniu związku, a zdecydowanie za mało uwagi poświęca według mnie procesowi odcinania się od tej relacji i zdrowienia. To dla mnie ma większą wartość. Drugi zdecydowanie większy - partner autorki, gdy ta się z nim wiązała, był wdowcem z czwórką dzieci w wieku od 11 do 5 lat. Kobieta była świadkinią niepokojących scen, które mogły sugerować, że ojciec wykorzystuje jedną z córek, do tego rozmawiała z pediatrką, która również podejrzewała, że w domu dzieje się coś złego wobec wszystkich dzieci, ale z braku wyraźnych śladów była bezczynna. Rosalind rzuca ten wątek w eter i potem nic z nim nie robi, nie próbuje w żaden sposób ochronić tych dzieci ani spróbować dociec czy coś złego im się nie dzieje. Mało tego, kiedy ostatecznie zostaje pobita i policja zakłada typowi sprawę, ulega jego prośbie o odmówienie składania zeznań, tak żeby został oczyszczony z zarzutów, bo inaczej dzieci zostaną mu odebrane. Robi to pomimo tego, że wie, że jedna z córek podjęła próbę s. Owszem, pisze, że zerwanie kontaktów z dziećmi było dla niej najtrudniejsze i rozumiem, że musiała zadbać przede wszystkim o siebie, ale one tak po prostu nagle znikają z tej historii i jest mi smutno, że ciągle ktoś je porzucał, nawet jeśli nie celowo.

Mimo wszystko - to ważny głos.

[Retromantik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Relectura de este cómic, y aumento mi puntuación y modifico mi opinión al respecto. Ésta vez, tras la relectura y un análisis más concreto (por un trabajo que estoy realizando) puedo decir que es una gran obra, con mucha carga emocional y personal por parte de la autora. Si queréis ver y entender cómo es una relación de maltrato y todos aquellos elementos que la conforman (indicadores de riesgo, ciclo de violencia, herramientas personales de la víctima, formas de control del agresor, tipos de violencia...) es un cómic que debéis leer. Seguro que tras leerlo, cuando escuchéis algún caso de violencia en el que ella no denunció o le costó separarse, no se os pasará por la cabeza la típica pregunta de "¿por qué no se separó?". El dibujo, todo hay que decirlo, no es gran cosa. Sin embargo, teniendo en cuenta el contexto y el tipo de historia que relata, se entiende perfectamente el estilo gráfico y se agradece la simplicidad de las líneas, que acaban siendo realmente expresivas.

[Trice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rosalind B. Penfold con este testimonio, nos acerca su propia historia de maltrato durante los diez años que duró su relación con el que fuera su maltratador. Todos los nombres están cambiados, pero representan a personas reales, incluidos los cuatro hijos de él, por los que Rosalind dudó tantas veces separarse sintiéndose responsable de su desprotección.

Es brutal, directo, super pedagógico... Un camino, en el que, desgraciadamente nos identificamos más de una.

[Sheenah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Staggeringly brilliant - the words and the images work together to tell the author's story, to help others.

[Leonie · Rating 5 out of 5]

für praktikum gelesen

[bel · Rating 4 out of 5]

... Gestos, expresiones y situaciones claves para reflexionar y poner en cuestión aquellos conceptos que todos creemos tener definidos.

Este sensibilizador relato, recoge diferentes anécdotas y etapas en las que todos nos podemos imaginar en algún momento de nuestras vidas. Por ello, consigue llamar la atención con hechos ilustrados, poniendo el acento y la lupa en aquello verdaderamente significativo y conveniente de revisión, como: el significado del amor, la confianza o la intimidad.

Leer y visualizar esta obra ilustrativa, me ha hecho reflexionar sobre aquellos conceptos y sus procesos de construcción. Quizá, y después de su lectura sea un buen momento para deconstruir aquello que consideremos y volver a darle un significado más evolucionado, transcendental o completo.

[kimberly_rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm ambivalent about this book: the subject of domestic violence has long been important to me and the writer certainly wrote a heartfelt, convincing, open account of her experience, her journey into and out of a DV relationship and all the vital insights she gained from her own strength, but, on the other hand, I was unimpressed with the doodle-y, scribble-y art and overall effect as a story.

The story was lacking some compelling emotion for me as a reader invited into her very personal journal. The art was perfect for its purpose and I'm not criticizing her art skills, but it just didn't prick my emotional vibes, and the words were somewhat too relating, too journalistic, too autobiographical, or distant somehow.

I would certainly recommend this book--her thoughts as to how a confident, solid self-esteem woman could fall into and stay in a DV relationship offer important awareness.

Also, I know the story was about her, not her partner's kids, but when I closed the book, my foremost thought was, "What happened to the four kids?"! (And right after that was, "Why 'Dragonslippers'?")

[C · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nonfiction Graphic Novel.

Sad and disturbing, a snapshot of an abusive relationship. On her website, elements of the book are broken down for readers who may be in a similar situation. I hope that it helps those who may need it.

One thing that disturbed me more than the relationship: How did the kids fare in all this, and did she do anything to help them get out of the situation as well? It is good that she got herself out, and I understand that to a certain respect, she had to let them go, but please, please tell me she reported him to CPS or the police? It might not be "that easy," I understand, but there's an insinuation there that the one daughter was molested and I found myself more caught by the tragedy of the kids living with a mentally disturbed, abusive parent than an adult woman.

[Dr. Ruth Neustifter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dragonslippers is a phenomenal illustrated novel (think of a comic book for adults) composed of art and writing that the author made during her own experience with intimate partner violence. In other words, this was her actual journal. Not only is the book deeply moving, but it will help those who wonder why they or other victims became (and remained) involved in violent and/or controlling relationships. This book offers both understanding and hope. Highly recommended for survivors and those who care about them, especially including professionals. Although this is not required reading for my student-therapists (they already have 4 books for the semester) I strongly urge them to purchase it if they are able.

[Eva-Marie Nevarez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this by accident at the library today. The bright red cover and 'dragonslippers' just caught my attention while I wandered through non-fiction.
I'm glad I found it. Even though it can be read in about a half a hour and even though I first glanced through it thinking it wouldn't be for me, I was struck by how much it was "for me".
You don't have to have been in an abusive relationship to take something away from Penfold's story, you don't have to be a woman. I honestly think there aren't many people out there who would walk away from this untouched.
I was surprised. I wasn't expecting to be as affected as I was.

[Gabrielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing, creatively produced book in graphic novel style that details what it's like to be in an abusive relationship. It's based on the author's actual experience (names changed). Very easy reading (under an hour), but it gets to the heart of the issue and allows the reader to really experience and understand the situation so much more powerfully and realistically than simply reading about it in the standard way.

I highly recommend this book not only for adults, but especially for teenage girls, due to its easy readability and also for its valuable and much-needed insight.

[Susan Devy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had a "thing" in my heart...that I can't dare to explain.

first, I got this book as a gift from someone who care for what I had been going through....as I read this book, it opened my eyes how serious the mess that had happened in my life.

I can't say more about this book, I'm afraid I'm going to burst in tears again.

[Allegra S · Rating 1 out of 5]

I enjoy graphic novels for adults so I got this out of the library. I was horrified. I shouldn't judge a situation I haven't been in, but I can't believe someone would leave kids in a situation where they knew they were being abused.... couldn't she have found a way to help them?! The way she also ignored the pet dog was also terrible.

[Ruth A secas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Es increíble el poder de manipulación que pueden tener las personas maltratadoras y como manipulan a su antojo, tengo que reconocer que este cómic duele y mucho, y sientes una impotencia terrible por no poder hacer nada.
Es muy necesario leerlo, os lo recomiendo.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was intense. Hard to read just because of subject matter and because it is a collection of moments instead of a completely cohesive story. The simple illustrations made the abuse she dealt with very apparent and overall I feel awful for the author and those children having to deal with such mental and physical abuse. I think this is very helpful to see signs of abuse before they spiral out of control. SEE HER WEBSITE FOR A SUMMARY ON THIS! Examples of signs: treats pets/animals cruelly and neglectfully, demands you give up on your dreams, shows intense jealousy, etc. (http://www.dragonslippers.com/learn.html)
Honestly, I don't think people understand the mental programming that is done to people in this type of situation or in abusive relationships in general. She had months of being showered with affection and really good excuses/reasons for the few times he didn't (examples: taking care of his children, dealing with the loss of his recently deceased wife). By the time he was the most abusive he had already laid the groundwork of abuse and mental programming that she contemplated that she was dreaming the abuse or that she somehow deserved it. Also as a caring individual she did not want to abandon the children, which is understandable why she had such a hard time leaving. Also, even though it might seem so clear how awful he was treating her via these comics it's hard to see outside of the reality you've created or have had created for you. Women get put down a lot for staying in these kind of a relationships. Women in general because of these situations are thought of as frail. People forget that women are not the only people who are manipulated in this way, that there are such things as Stockholm syndrome, mental programming, and a multitude of a factors such as children involved, finanical insecurity, fear he'll hurt you or someone you love...
It's always eaiser to judge others, maybe take a moment before you do. (I know its hard, but we can all try to understand and help instead of admonish and ignore.)
Ponderings...
Were those children biologically his?
Did the wife actually die of cancer?
Would she have left sooner if there were no children?
How did the children turn out? Did she stay in touch with them after they were out of his home?
How on earth could so many women fall under this guys spell? Is it all because we want to think that a father is loving and with so many children how could he be lying and have so many women going on at once?

Ultimately I think this is an excellent way to bring awareness to what an abusive situation is and why some women and even men can get wrapped up in it. The low rating is that I feel like she could have added some more drawings to set up the relationship, it was hard to tell the actual timeline of events, and some of the drawings were unclear. However, I do feel bad marking this so low since I do not want to diminish her struggle or the power this nonfiction work of art has.

[Gacela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Otro cómic / novela gráfica cogido de la biblioteca del barrio (la verdad que de lo mejor de este año tan difícil es haber redescubierto las bibliotecas y tener tan cerquita esta tan bien surtida).

La autora (que utiliza pseudonimo por razones fácilmente comprensibles) transmite muy bien cómo una mujer se queda atrapada en una relación abusiva y de maltrato con alguien que ha ido haciendo con ella todo un proceso de aislamiento, invalidación y deterioro de la autoestima y la propia autoimagen, para que en efecto no vea de primeras ni las violencias y maltrato ni quien es responsable de ese maltrato (el maltratador, claro), y cuando empiece a verlo, todo sea un cuestionamiento y culpabilizarse ella misma sin ver alternativa posible hasta TANTO más tarde...

He visto que varias reseñas hablan de forma bastante negativa del dibujo. Para mí su sencillez más que a desanimarme de la lectura, que no lo hizo, me animó a pensar cómo desde una ilustración no megacurrada y sin toneladas de experiencia detrás, ni un don o talento súper especial, muchas mujeres podrían encontrar también una manera de expresarse y de narrarse a sí mismas (y eso me animaba a leer la obra). El dibujo es muy sencillo, si, pero a veces con cosas tan simples como un trazo muy grueso tras el que se ve la emoción o el miedo mientras se hacia el propio dibujo (muchos tienen como base dibujos reales que hacia la autora durante la relación) transmite mucho desde esa misma simplicidad y sencillez.

He pensado en varias amigas a quienes veo tan reflejadas que uf. Ojalá todas encontrar salidas pronto, ya.