It`s Called A Breakup Because It`s Broken: Kalau Putus, Ya Putus Aja!

by Greg Behrendt, Amiira Ruotola (-Behrendt)

Guidebook Paling Ampuh buat yang Lagi Patah Hati.

Sudah jelas, putus bikin kita jadi kacau. Tapi, dalam beberapa jam atau hari atau minggu sesudahnya, ada satu hal yang paling benar dan penting yang kamu harus tahu: ada hal-hal yang tak bisa dan sebaiknya tak usah diperbaiki, terutama si brengsek itu yang mutusin kamu atau terpaksa kamu putusin. Semua sudah berlalu dan tentu ada alasannya. Jauh di lubuk hati, kamu tahu apa alasannya.

Kalau sudah, putus ya putus aja! Dan mulai hari ini, kamu bukan cewek yang lagi patah hati, atau tergantung pada hal-hal yang sudah rusak. Inilah waktu untuk mengenyahkan semua barang-barang rusak yang sudah kamu simpan berhari-hari, berbulan-bulan, bahkan mungkin bertahun-tahun, lalu membuat keputusan berani untuk mencari hal-hal yang baik untukmu. Karena semakin lama kamu terperangkap dalam hubungan yang buntu yang ribet, semakin sedikit waktu yang akan kamu dapatkan di bumi ini untuk mengalami hal-hal yang menyenangkan. Jadi, buka buku ini, dan masuklah ke dalamnya tujuan buku ini adalah membantu mengubah patah hati menjadi peristiwa yang juga akan mengubah kamu dengan cara yang tak pernah kamu sangka. Ini bukan akhir segalanya, ini awal segalanya!

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Relationships, Psychology, Chick Lit, Humor, Romance

316 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

Gregory Behrendt is an American stand-up comedian and author. His work as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, paved the way for co-authoring of the New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That into You (2004), later adapted into a film by the same name. Apart from that he also hosted two short-lived talk shows, The Greg Behrendt Show (2006) and Greg Behrendt's Wake Up Call (2009).

(source)

Reviews

[Tami · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm 32 years old, and although I've had breakups before, this is the first one that has torn me apart. My friends recommended this book for me and I was skeptical. I couldn't be happier to have been proven wrong.

Sure the "questions" that the women ask are fake, and sometimes it's cheesy, but not to the point where it bothered me, and I'm pretty picky about those things. The book manages to cover almost EVERY SINGLE thing that I have been feeling, action that I have contemplated, etc., and it has been SO good for me to 1.) know that I'm not alone or crazy for feeling the way that I do, 2.) know that I'm not the first girl that has gotten X said to them or X done to them, and 3.) keep hearing that I'm going to get through it. It does a fantastic job of helping you see that you're likely much better off now, and it applies equally if you were the dump-er or the dump-ee.

I want to buy a copy of this book for every female that has had their heart broken, crushed, stomped on, steamrolled, etc. If this is you, do yourself a favor and get a copy.

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book in the bookstore right after I got dumped, and was still licking my wounds. It didn't make it better, but it helped me take the personal sting out of being the dumpee and get moving on. I would tell anyone to read it who has been there. There is nothing new, but it helps put things into perspective when your judgement is cloudy, which seems to happen whenever I get dumped.

This for those, male and female, who've been blindsided by a breakup after thinking Everything Is Fine. Speaking less this time from a guy's perspective and more as someone who has been dumped and survived, Behrendt tackles the often inevitable symptoms of a broken attachment: the obsessive thinking (and calling and e-mailing), the crying, the debilitating depression (and its effects on one's job performance), the crazy acting-out, the food and spending issues, the friend burnout. This time, Behrendt is aided by his wife, who offers her own breakup stories, with the two together serving as a constant reminder that one can love again.

[Meryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a good catch goddammit

Yes, I did just read this book from the same authors of "He's Just Not That Into You." As a recent singleton, I found this book at the library and couldn't resist the urge given its cutsie cover of a pint of ice cream. This book is a definite must for anyone who is heartbroken and confused about the sudden ending of a relationship. It offers sound advice that can be painful but necessary to know.
Guess what? It's over and there is nothing else you can do about it. Time to move on. Look in the mirror and say, "I AM A GOOD CATCH GODDAMMIT!" Then put all those photos away, get out of your apartment and find a new hobby. Ok so mine is Farmville, but still, I do get more glee over harvesting my bamboo crops than being sad about losing my best friend of 3 years.
This book is great for a laugh, but also to remind you that you are not alone in what you are feeling. Breakups still stink but at least you can read about more crazy women than yourself. Let's hope.

[Katie (Kitkatscanread) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has really helped me today.
Definitely the right book you need to read as soon as you've broken up.
It tells you all the things you shouldn't do and raises your confidence.
Wish I read this yesterday... -_-

[Juno · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is clearly written for women, but I wish it had been done in a gender-neutral way -- my reason for withholding a five-star rating.

I'm extremely skeptical of motivational texts. This isn't a motivational text. It's a layman's guide to the application of psychology. It applies to you whether you're breaking up with someone, being broken up with, or involved in a mutual breakup. More importantly, it helps you to understand why your ex maybe isn't friends with you anymore, even though it was all her fault and you were an upstanding, honorable partner the entire time. It helps you to understand why your past breakups didn't go as well as they could have.

I myself am not going through a breakup, but this book has helped me to understand better my past breakups.

It's full of clever stories. A few things actually made me laugh out loud, such as the recommendation that one not swashbuckle through a window dressed as a pirate carrying a boombox ("Say Anything"-style) in order to try to win back one's lost love.

With that said, I absolutely refuse to be called "pretty lady" or "superfox" one more time. The stories that helped me the most were those from the perspective of Greg, and these were the least frequent. Repeated recommendations to put on my sexiest skirt have largely gone unheeded.

Finally, I felt that a lot of the advice simply wouldn't apply to someone like me, whether male or female. I don't address my relationship problems by drinking, binge eating, refusing to go to work, failing to visit the gym, or dressing like a slob. But maybe that's the point of this book -- to make you feel like you're more normal than you had thought.

[Mari Carrara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is helping me through a very sad period and when i say sad i mean the most critic recent part of breaking up. Crying every night , missing someone so bad you literally feel pain and can't sleep, your mind goes crazy thinking "where did i go wrong, why doesn't he love me?" and all that. And sometimes we do stupid things because of that. Greg does know how to pick you up and set you straight back on your feet no matter how many times you fall. I really have never read any book that approached such a hard situation in this effective way, teaching you how to get through each and every single day until you get better, so practical, so honest, even raw sometimes, but it's just what you need to hear(read). Greg helps women in all kinds of situations since he does understand us and understands men as well (so he can speak for both). It's not easy to have someone break up with you or to have no other choice but to part ways when you love someone so much but this person does not correspond or seem to value you as much as you deserved, because they're emotionally unavailable. If you're going through this, i think this is the best book for you right now.

[Ozma · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to wonder how a comedian like Greg Behrendt can also have such a clear view on relationships. Maybe that's a good quality to have in a comedian -- someone who can be honest about relationships. Or maybe he's the first man to publish what men really are thinking. In any case, I think this book is a great one to read if you are trying to get over someone or even if you are trying to feel better about not being with someone. Or about any problem you may have. The book encourages you to be confident about yourself and to become the "Superfox" that Greg knows you are! It lays out a framework for how to deal with problems (specifically relationships), but the plan could be applied to any difficulty one encounters in life.

I particularly like the line "Your life is not a yard sale!" What Greg is trying to say with this line is that your life shouldn't be filled with things that are broken. So if you have a broken friendship or relationship or job or whatever, get rid of it, and move on, because, YOUR LIFE IS NOT A YARD SALE, where broken things are gathered on the lawn of your life to just sit and bake in the sun all day. Toss that broken relationship out already!

The book is a quick read, and I should also point out that Greg's wife co-wrote it. Both she and Greg put in their stories of love and loss, and your heart goes out to them, reading their stories of love tragedies. But their stories always end with the attitude that they were glad they went through this heartache because it forced them to move on and make changes and do things that eventually led to them meeting each other. It's a nice touch!

Recommended for anyone who has been or is planning to be in relationship of any kind!

[Melody Rowell · Rating 5 out of 5]

After getting my heart shoved into a blender, a coworker bought me this book and said it's a life-changer. She's right. Once I started it, I couldn't stop, and I underlined and wrote in it all the way through. It feels like a conversation with your smartest, wisest, tough-loviest friend. It can be a little cheesy at times, but by the time I finished reading it, my big, bad, single Superfox self was ready to take on the world.
One of the best parts: "That person that you loved looked at you in all your awesomeness, evaluated your relationship, and said, 'No thanks, I think I'll try my luck elsewhere.'... Anyone who views you or your relationship as disposable is not worth your time or your tears."

[Chelsea Martinez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is intensely cute, which I don't mean in a bad way. It manages to be a friendly book without being disgusting (honestly, I'm not usually a person who takes to being addressed as "Superfox," but I let it slide because of the authors' enthusiasm).

Obviously a book you can read in a day is not the ideal format for a break-up tool since getting over that can take f---ing forever, but I think it does a pretty good job of boosting confidence, anticipating paranoid and/or hopelessly hopeful thoughts and counterarguments of the reader, and giving as much real-world perspective it can (outside of securing you a truly harrowing job as a social worker or something.)

I would like to give this book to someone sometime, except it's sort of a friend surrogate, so anyone I would want to give it to should be getting my living-breathing-caring friend attention instead. Maybe a cousin or niece or something. I would buy a copy of this for my reference desk before I would buy a rhyming dictionary.

[Audwee Black · Rating 2 out of 5]

i feel like i was too far past the hardest part of my breakup for this to help all that much. but i also don’t know how much of this cheesy and outdated language would have resonated with me in that state anyways…

[Jen]

Yeah. I admit it. I read it, okay!

That's really nothing to be ashamed of because, honestly, who HASN'T gone through a breakup that rocked their world and shaken one's values & belief in the goodness and decentness of other people? (If you haven't, I envy you so, so, so very much.)

That said, sometimes you need something in addition to your sassy gay friend and your core group of best friends to help you get through a breakup and force some self-esteem and confidence back into your brain, life, and being.

Before getting the book, I had gotten to the point where even I was annoyed with myself for wanting to discuss each and every sordid detail; therefore, I'm so thankful I got the book, which basically confirmed a lot of the ideas that I had been thinking and was resistent to. And even prompted me to stop bugging my buddies so that I wasn't that girl who ended up with no friends (because friends rock).

Sometimes I find myself thinking about the previous relationship and thinking "what if..." - and then I remember this gem from Almost Famous:

Never take it seriously, you never get hurt. Never get hurt, you can always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends. - Penny Lane

In perhaps a a stretch of the imagination that doesn't quite translate cleanly to writing but makes TOTAL and COMPLETE sense in theory: this book is my record store.

[Mugren Ohaly · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book is co-written by a couple who apparently each went through one bad breakup and then miraculously found each other, fell in love, and decided to write this book. It’s part personal experience, part letters from people asking for their advice, part anonymous admissions from psychos. The humor is bad and forced, and most of the book can be skipped.

The gist of it all is: no matter why your relationship ended or how shocked you are by it ending, it’s a good thing it ended. So, you know, like, don’t get drunk and call him/her. Duh!

[Su · Rating 5 out of 5]

You gotta read at your own pace.

[Kimberly Erskine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I, like any other girl who has read Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt’s novel, It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken chose to read this book for one reason and one reason only: I just got out of a relationship and it kind of sucks.

The funny part of the story is this: I had no intention to read this book. I had no intention to read any breakup books or self-help books or anything of that sort. Okay, that’s a little bit of a lie. I really want to read Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris. I’m a huge supporter of Joshua Harris after reading his other novel, I Kissed Dating Goodbye after being dumped by the man I dated prior to meeting my most recent ex. But when it comes to It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken I can truly say I (fortunately) stumbled upon it by accident.

But maybe it wasn’t an accident at all. Maybe this was a gift from God. Actually, I’m quite positive that it was.

You see, as I already mentioned, breakups suck. Yes, I was the one to end it. Yes I was not the nicest person in the world with how I ended it. I hung up on him after a 7 or 8 minute phone call (I didn’t like his attitude and refused to take any more of his crap at that point). But that’s not how I intended things to be and it doesn’t change the fact that I was wildly in love with him, didn’t want to have to break up with him, and still felt hurt, heartbroken, and awful about everything.

I did the deed last Friday, October 16th. I cried for the first 6 days of our our breakup. Some days I cried all day and didn’t want to get out of bed or do the whole living my life thing. Other days I woke up feeling great only to end the day by crying myself to sleep. I’m proud to say now that I’ve made it through 3 straight days of no tears (knock on wood). This book definitely helped me (at least for the last 2 days in which I owned it).

I have learned that the best way to get rid of the pain and lousiness I feel is to stay distracted. When I don’t have anything to do I think of how I would be on the phone with him normally and I get sad. I wonder where he is (he is a truck driver). I wonder what his family thinks (even though I already know that his step-dad and mother hate my guts and have wanted him to break up with me since August after we had another fight…but that’s a whole other story and I know his grandmother thinks I was too clingy and I deserve to feel all the pain in the world for walking away from her son who did know wrong because she doesn’t know the full story and is likely reading this right now in which I give her a shout out and say hi :) ). I wonder how he is doing. I hope that I didn’t hurt him too bad and I hope that I didn’t cause him too many problems with his work (I broke up with him while he was working). I play the scenarios in my head. I think of how awful it must feel to be broken up with via phone and for your new ex girlfriend to not only dump you on the phone, but hang up on you, too. Then I get really really mad and depressed because he never tried to call me back or even text me like I was so sure he would — he just let me go.

Simply put, when I’m not distracted and when I have nothing to do, I think about my breakup and feel one hundred times worse about everything.

I decided this weekend I didn’t want to be sad and depressed. I wanted to take advantage of being single. I wanted to embrace it. I wanted to be bold and daring and do things that would make me happy.

So I went on a really really long walk. I walked about 4 or 5 miles on Saturday morning. My final destination? Margaret E. Heggan library in Sewell, NJ. Quite a far distance from my home. I have never been there before (let alone attempted to walk there) but for the past week I have been drawn to it. I NEEDED to go to this library (which I didn’t know existed until a week ago). I truly believe God was directing me to go to this library and on Saturday morning, I knew I had to wake up and get my walking shoes on and get my butt into the library.

The first thing I noticed when I got to the library was that they had their own little used bookstore. I only had $2 on me, but I know from past experiences that $2 can go a long way when it comes to used book sales. The first book I spotted wasn’t even on a shelf — just on top of a pile of other books by itself. It was It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Over. I didn’t think twice about buying it — I bought it on the spot. I felt like it was a sign from God that I was meant to see and read this book.

My first impression of the book was that I really loved the cover. Having a pint of ice cream on the front was too perfect because one of the first things I did after calling off my 13 month relationship was go to the grocery store and buy a gallon of gelato and devoured it in 2 days (I had wanted to be cliche and buy a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, but the store was out of my favorite flavors…I was really ticked off about that). That right there made me laugh and told me that this wasn’t going to be a typical self-help kind of book. It made me laugh and smile without even having to open it — something anyone dealing with a difficult breakup desperately needs.

The inside of the book was just as satisfying as the outside. I loved the tone of the book. It made me laugh and smile and feel better about my breakup right from page 1 and continued on throughout. The advice and the stories and tips were all very helpful. They made me feel like I wasn’t alone — there were thousands of other women who have been through the same thing as me, and had it much much worse than I did, but they survived!

The first half of the book related to myself and this first week of my breakup very well. Accepting the fact that there’s no new messages — he’s not going to call me back, text me, Facebook comment or message me, etc. was one of the hardest parts to accept. I’ve gotten frustrated and hung up on him before and he’s called back but this time was different. This time it was really over, but as bad as that sometimes makes me feel, it’s not a bad thing. As Greg and Amiira told me throughout the book, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken. The first help of the book really helped me to put my relationship into perspective and see if for what it was and not what I had wanted and tried to believe it to be for the last 13 months. We had some great times. Larry is not a bad person. But he wasn’t the one and I wasn’t as happy as I fooled myself into believing I was in my relationship, and I doubt he was, either. Our relationship was broken, and breaking up was the best course of action to take.

I like that the first half of the book called me out on my post-breakup behavior. Greg and Amiira told me to stop binge eating, stop looking for answers at the bottom of a pint of ice cream, stop excessively checking my phone to see if he’ll contact me, stop talking about him (this is a book review, it doesn’t count…hey I’m working on it), and to stop wondering what he’s thinking. He’s more likely than not very pissed off at me which is understandable. If he wasn’t, my phone would probably be ringing, right? But it’s not, so there’s that. But It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken; I shouldn’t worry about any of it anyway. It’s like I said on the phone before hanging up on him, “Whatever, I’m done.”

The second half of the book gave me hope and made me realize that this breakup, even though it hurts (some days more than others), is the best thing to have ever happened to me because now I am free. I have all of this free time where I don’t have to worry where Larry is, what he’s doing and with whom, when he’s going to be home, if he’ll be home in time to do xyz, whether or not I should go and do things without him, etc etc. I’m free to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it, with whomeever I want to do it with. I don’t need his approval (I never did to begin with, I just felt like I did). These are the first days of the rest of my life. I can choose to wallow in sadness, or I can get up off my butt and do something. I can make positive changes and revamp my life. My biggest post-breakup regret is that I don’t really have many friends. My boyfriend was my best and only friend. When I first dumped him that was a hard pill to swallow — I was losing both my boyfriend and best/only friend. I had no one to lean on and do things with or just randomly strike up a conversation with. I could choose to be lonely or I could choose to change my situation. I choose the later. I am working to make friends by becoming more involved with things like my church, the local library, the cochlear implant support groups, and whatever else I can discover. I’m trying to talk to people and make new friends. Just taking a very long, far walk by myself to Duffields farm and the library on Saturday was a liberating experience. I felt so happy and free. And this is a message that Greg and Amiira hit on quite a bit in the second half of the book: you are in charge of your own happiness. For the past 13 months of my life, Larry was my entire world. He determined my happiness and I never had fun or did anything for myself, I did it only with him and that was wrong.

It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken. Despite trying to convince myself that everything was fine and that it was perfectly okay to be madly in love with a boyfriend whom I literally had to beg on multiple occasions for a bit of attention and whom I had to tell “I feel like you don’t love me” to recently and convince myself that I was okay with his lack of an answer/response to that statement was acceptable, my relationship was broken. It is not over because it was broken.

And you know what?

I think this may be the best thing to ever happen to me.

Larry is not my husband, nor will he ever will be.

But every day I come closer to finding the one that will be. Especially now that I called it quits with the one who was wasting my time and keeping me from meeting that man.

Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt’s It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken was an excellent book that left me feeling confident in myself, empowered, and excited at what my life post-breakup will be like. My only criticism for it is that it focused heavily on women that had just been dumped. I wish it hit a bit more on women that did the dirty deed. Just because I was the one to call it off doesn’t mean it hurts any less. Ending a relationship because you love someone and are pretty sure they don’t love you in return is a pretty lousy feeling. But this too, shall past.

Goodbye, broken record of a relationship.

Hello, bright future filled with new beginnings and possibilities.

[Driver · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt manage to make a very emotional and tough topic humorous despite still taking their readers seriously and offering comfort, solid advice and perspective. There were a few times when the humor seemed to border on snarky but reading on they managed to turn it around again or explain why they had phrased something in that particular way.

The author duo starts off by telling their own worst breakup stories and let us into how pathetic they felt, and at times acted, and how they eventually did get over it after all, then move on to individual stories or letters which they reply to, interspersed with personal anecdotes, insights and opinions.

And whether you were the dumper or the dumpee, this book tackles the issue of breakups from both angles, and everything inbetween from whether you should try to win him back to why overeating and drinking will just prolong your torture, how to shift your perspective to new hobbies or friends and eventually dare step out into the world again, ready to find a new love and perhaps a permanent one, who knows.

What is perhaps most important, it explains male breakup styles that often leave women completely befuddled and desperate for an answer.
For example:
Is he withdrawing lately?
Have you felt for months that you have been in a relationship with yourself but whenever you ask him he states nothing is wrong or he's working out some "personal stuff" for himself?
Yeah, that's him having broken up with you without having had enough balls to tell you to your face.
He wants you to say the words because he's a coward.
So why would you want to be in a relationship with this type of guy, want him back or even shed one tear for him once it's over?
Exactly.
You are worth more!!!
That is the message of the book and what both authors try to hammer into the readers' skulls.
And I like it!

[Sabrina Rutter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't even know this book existed until I found it at my local Goodwill, and I'm really glad I found it! Although I was in a relationship when I bought this book I knew in my heart that the end was near so I stuck it on my bookshelf, and when the time arrived I dove into this book and and hated to see the end of it!
Although I was the dumper in my situation the pain is still there. I mean after all I spent five and a half years with the jerk, so this book is great for those who just dumped the looser, are thinking of dumping the looser, or have recently been dumped by the looser. Also even though it says it's the smart girl's break-up buddy guys can relate to it as well. There's even a chapter at the end especially for guys!
It hurts to end a relationship and while we are going through this pain it seems like no-one understands our situation, but in this book we find that not only does someone understand but we also learn that this might just be the best thing that has ever happened to us. In the book they refer to it as the best worst news ever!
I strongly recommend reading this book if your heart is in a place where you want out of the relationship, or you have just recently got out of a relationship. There's some great adivice in these pages, tips on how to get through the pain, not wearing your friends out with the blues, getting back in touch with who you are, and so much more! Your hurting, or getting ready to be? Don't wait another second go buy this book you will be glad you did!

[Hilary "Fox" · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a delightful book.

Although the advice this book gives primarily consists of the obvious (don't talk to your ex, take control of your life, keep moving, etc.) it is presented in a fun and amusing way that makes this book an entertaining read.

The book is formatted into two sections (1: The Break Up, 2: The Breakover) and these two sections are split into chapters that tend to consist of advice, testimonials, and then projects (journal, cooking, etc.). This is very helpful and makes for a concise and pleasurable read.

The rules that the book states in order to get your life back in order are also good and easily applicable. The important thing about this book, and one that makes this a very good self-help book, is that the book is based around helping you make better choices in relationships in the future. The people writing the book aren't gloating about their relationship, just offering tidbits. The book doesn't put you down, and just the ridiculousness of being referred to as a Superfox throughout it makes you feel pretty good.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A slightly embarrasing book to buy at the bookstore (which is why I got it on my kindle, woot) but definitely worth it. It was cheesy, admittedly, but after a while, I actually kind of liked being referred to as a "Super Fox" ...it was funny, insightful, and filled with stories of break-ups worse than my own. It was also brutally honest where my friends and family aren't because they don't want to hurt me with the truth. Honestly, it was the first thing I picked up in the mornings (when I would usually grab my cellphone and call him) and the last thing I picked up at night (when again I would usually give him a call) Although I can't say I am 100% better, I am definitely a lot more hopeful about the future after reading this book. I say to all the broken-hearted: go get this book. At the very least, it will provide a distraction.

[Erin Nudi · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's over, man. Move on with your life. Whether you're the dumper or the dumpee this book can help you do it. I first read this book around when I was just getting over a breakup that had happened quite awhile before I found this book and I was like, damn, why didn't I have this book before?? The time I could have saved myself. Also, even though this book is geared towards women ("the smart girl's break-up buddy"), I recently gave this book to a good guy friend of mine who was just getting out of a three year relationship. Although a little skeptical at first, he did read it and thanked me profusely for having him do so.

[Rylee Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

The cover could not represent this book any better––it's truly ice cream for your brain when going through the heartache of a breakup.

Breakups are hard, and throw your emotions into chaos. Time will heal you eventually, but this book helps you with what to do in the meantime. It helps guide you to a mental peace––even while your emotions leave you in a heap on the floor––and does it with humor, showing you to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It gives you back some self-esteem too, helping you to own the situation and allow yourself some self-love.

The ultimate point of this book:
You are fierce. You'll get through this. And you'll be a better version of yourself afterwards.

[Mary Clare McFadden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I struggle to give this 5 stars due to the shifts in styles of writing and exorbitant "Dear Abby" posts. I've slowly read this book, almost savoring it, for when I need it most. Even reading a mere few pages, it gave me the instant confidence boost I needed. It's everything I know but tend to forget when I let idiots take control over my emotions and make me feel like I was never good enough or they realized that their actions/words were hurtful. Later fuck boys.

[Celise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yep.

[Lana · Rating 2 out of 5]

“We were just two people in the wrong relationship.”

Reading this felt like inhaling a sugary fast-food dessert: zero nutritional value, but kind of satisfying in the moment. Don’t come here looking for deep wisdom, but if you just need a quick distraction, it’ll do the trick.

At the end of the day, it’s that simple - don’t get drunk and text your ex (:

P.S.
This sweet treat is a little stale.

P.P.S.
It’s really geared toward the “I got dumped” crowd. If you’re dealing with something more complicated, it won’t help much.

[FlourishandQuotes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I decided to read this book because I really liked He's Just Not That Into You and also because I thought I needed closure from a previous relationship - I use the past tense here because, after reading this book, I don't think I need closure anymore. I really liked this book.. I mean, I did give it 4 starts, right?! But, I didn't agree with everything the authors said.

This book is structured like a Q&A - women from different backgrounds sent questions and they answered. I don't know if the questions were real or not, but I don't think that's the point - the questions served a purpose and made the book a little more fun and entertaining. Most of the advice revolves around the statement in the title ''it's called a breakup because it's broken'', meaning if someone broke up the relationship it's because they believe it can't be fixed or they don't want to fix it, so you should just move one.

Moving on from a relationship is hard and the authors not only acknowledge that, but they give you helpful advice and examples to show you that it can be done. They also share their personal experience with breakups, which I thought was really cool. However, I thought some of the advice was a little extreme, which is why I didn't give this book 5 starts. I will say that this book was a major confidence booster, though, and that I'm glad I read it.

I don't think this is a cure for breakups or that reading this book is going to make you feel better instantly, but I believe it can help the healing process. I still think He's Just Not That Into You is better, but they have different purposes. I would recommend this book to anyone (men and women) that feels like they need help dealing with breakups or getting over someone.

For more book reviews and other bookish things: www.letmecrossover.blogspot.com

[Lena · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing groundbreaking. The cover's adorable though and the rationale (as to why it's graced by a tub of icecream) is given by the authors in the later chapters of the book, though I think you can easily guess it.

The contexts are very American but the principles of moving-on-with-your-life-after-a-traumatic-experience-like-a-breakup are still universal as ever.

Like all self-help books, I recommend it's best to just help yourself. It's witty at certain points, but the cleverness falls flat pretty soon simply because there's nothing that's really new anymore.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this because I thought it was going be a humorous look at breakups, but as it started, I realized it was a serious self-help book on breakups. I groaned a little, but once the intro was over, it was really funny. And, on the plus side, it had some great and practical advice for those caught up in the tangles of a messy breakup. I was wondering where this book was 30 years ago when I could have used it.

So 4 stars, because it was funny, sweet, and useful. It also had some tough love which sounded necessary.

[else fine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Look how comforting this book looks. It's fluffy blue and bright pink and has a half-eaten carton of ice cream on the cover. And it actually made me feel better, as ashamed as I am to admit it. If I had found it in the early stages of heartbreak, however, I would have probably just found it enraging. I'd say it's more suited to that bruised-but-not-bleeding stage you hit later on, when you've pulled yourself together a bit and feel up to taking advice.

[Marie Bergman · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just did not like this book. At all. I just found it a bit too much, they way it is written is annoying, and not as funny as the authors probably think it is. Honestly, didnt even finish it. I just figure that life is too short and even though I have been heartbroken, I have never turned as batcrap crazy as the examples mentioned in this book. Well, lucky me.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Greg Behrendt's books. Like seriously love them. Sure, they are not the most scientific approach but they are down-to-earth and close to real life.
It helps to put things into perspective, to recognize yourself in some of the situations mentioned and if nothing else, it made me laugh. Which was needed at that time.

[Kaelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book! It gives great advice and I’m glad I decided to pick it up because it has definitely helped give me some advice, clarity, and reality checks about not only the break up I’m going through now but even my past break ups.