My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman

The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman #2

by Lisa Scottoline, Francesca Serritella

The incomparable Lisa Scottoline, along with daughter Francesca, is back with more wild and wonderful wit and My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space .

New York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline struck a chord with readers, book clubs, and critics with her smash-hit essay collection, Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog . This time, Lisa teams up with Daughter Francesca to give their mother-daughter perspective on everything from blind dates to empty calories, as well as life with the feistiest octogenarian on the planet, Mother Mary, who won't part with her thirty-year-old bra. Three generations of women, triple the laughs---and the love.

Inspired by their weekly "Chick Wit" column for The Philadelphia Inquirer , Lisa and Francesca spill all their family secrets---which will sound a lot like yours. And you'll have to put this book down, just to stop laughing.

LISA ON DIETING : I'm backsliding with carbohydrates, which is the food version of ex-sex.

FRANCESCA ON CUTTING THE CORD : I thought I said, "I am going to see my cousin's new apartment," but in Mom-speak that translates "I am going to meet certain death in the New York City subway tunnels that are soon to be my tomb."

LISA ON MOTHER Most people have a list of Things To Do, but Mother Mary has a list of Things Not To Do. At the top is Don't Go to the Movies. Other entries include Don't Eat Outside With The Bugs and Don't Walk All Over This Cockamamie Mall.

FRANCESCA ON BEING I'm addicted to the wedding announcements. Worse, I find myself subtracting my age from the bride's. I thought I was a modern woman, turns out I'm a Cathy cartoon.

LISA ON AGING GRACEFULLY : Today I noticed my first gray hair. On my chin.

And so much more!

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Essays, Biography, Short Stories

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Lisa Scottoline is a #1 bestselling and Edgar award-winning author of 33 novels. Her books are book-club favorites, and Lisa and her daughter Francesca Serritella have hosted an annual Big Book Club Party for over a thousand readers at her Pennsylvania farm, for the past twelve years. Lisa has served as President of Mystery Writers of America, and her reviews of fiction and non-fiction have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She also writes a weekly column with her daughter for the Philadelphia Inquirer entitled Chick Wit, a witty take on life from a woman’s perspective, which have been collected in a bestselling series of humorous memoirs. Lisa graduated magna cum laude in three years from the University of Pennsylvania, with a B.A. in English, and cum laude from the University of Pennsylvania Law School, where she taught Justice and Fiction. Lisa has over 30 million copies of her books in print and is published in over 35 countries. She lives in the Philadelphia area with an array of disobedient pets and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Reviews

[Fergus, Weaver of Autistic Webs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now, I’m not a woman, but wow, did I think this was FUNNY.

And you know, I think MOST folks of ‘a certain age’ would just L-O-V-E it!

I guess my discovery of this book was a Fluke of Christmas Fever...

It happened before the Holidays, back in 2018. Remember those wonderful pre-viral years? So this was a FUN Christmas. I had ordered one of those Free Amazon Samples, and I COULDN’T HELP LAUGHING AT THIS LIKE AN IDIOT.

Did I have the Christmas heebee-jeebies, because of OD’ing on shopping and eggnog?

Doubt it.

My wife does all the shopping - partly on my dime, partly on hers - and I’m a teetotaler. But this one was SERIOUSLY Funny. And, yes, Christmas Fever played an active role.

By that time in December the financial damage to my mad money was already outta control. But not, I knew, irreversible - due to the Annual January Cash Injection from my retirement savings.

So I splurged.

And then... well, you guys know Christmas Fever as well as I do - every day of December was another Friday... and Black.

Who’s to help it with all those ubiquitous websurfing pop-ups? And I’m not rich. But I DID overdo it.

After all, I grew up in a warm family, and so many of my family’s best memories were made at Christmas!

So Christmas Fever is in my blood.

And so what do you think that my NEXT plan was that day, sitting in the kitchen with my battered old Kindle, laughing helplessly under Ms Scottoline’s magical spell?

Bingo - family. AND long-time friends. Why hold out on them for a share of the laughs?

Yeah, you’re right...

I bought THEM copies, and, where necessary dropped them in the mail, after trudging to the post office (being car-less can promote a healthy retirement cash flow and fitness level)!

So I WON’T tell you about my Yuletide Post Office bills along with the rest of ‘em.

Suffice it to say the nice, neat guy working there now always greets me with a big smile when I struggle to open the door and set his early warning bell to chiming merrily! He now counts me among his preferred acquaintances... (or maybe I just try so hard to be nice & polite.... Heh heh).

Anyway, seriously, if you’re retired like us and you’re always hatching plans to make your Empty Nest ever Emptier before that fateful day you pull the pin on your old shack, you’ll like this book.

Ms Scottoline’s as dead-on with her quips as her courtroom thrillers are with their authenticity.

If you buy it on a whim, like me, you’ll GET YOUR MONEY’S WORTH.

And not regret it - unlike the splurging that multiplies those dreaded January Christmas bills!

[Cammie · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I love Lisa Scottoline's fiction, her essay collections with her daughter are priceless and so relatable. They read like sitting with friends talking about life and the relationships closest to our hearts--mothers and daughters. Scottoline is so funny and doesn't take herself seriously at all. She is so real and that definitely comes through in her "Ordinary Woman" essay collections. I cannot wait to read more of her collections.

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lisa Scottoline writes great mysteries and legal thrillers, but I didn’t realize she wrote humorous books until the discussion leader of my F2F book club pointed it out. So I decided to check one out. OMG, I’m so glad I did. This was a wonderful read that had me laughing out loud. And I feel as though I know Lisa better as a person, as this book is a very up close view of her and her daughter. They are a quick read—I finished it in a day. Oh, and Lisa reads the book herself which is great. I have already checked out another of her humorous books. Do yourself a favor and try one.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone who is a fan of Lisa Scottoline of just good humorous writing you will love this book. Lisa is just a straight shooting, honest to goodness funny lady. She loved her family, her fur babies, diet coke and books. She is the kind of person that you want to know because you feel like she would be the kind of friend that made good solid relationships easy and no fuss. I love her fiction books and that is what drew me to her short stories about her real life. I also think that her daughter is something to watch out for!

[Ciara · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book made me sad. it made me sad because lisa scottoline is apparently a best-selling author (of mysteries--i'm not sure how her humor collections stack up in terms of sales) who makes enough of a living from her writing that she is able to afford an embarrassingly gargantuan house, if the numerous photos in this book are to be believed. i love my little bungalow, but i'm pretty sure scottoline's kitchen is bigger than my entire house.

scottoline has a weekly column in the "philadelphia inquirer," & as far as i can tell, this is a compilation of said columns. some of them are written by her 24-year-old daughter francesca, who has the exact same writing style as her mother. their essays are indistinguishable except that francesca writes a little bit more about going to the gym & wanting a boyfriend. there was a sad essay in which she wrote about the difficulties of making close female friends as an adult (i can relate) & then said, "if there is one thing unites all womankind, it's body insecurity, so i joined a gym, thinking i'd meet all kinds of women to befriend there." i get that these are just cute, fun essays that are designed to appeal to a very broad readership, but it makes me sad when i read books in which women are like, "all women hate their bodies, right? la la la!" as if we are living in a "cathy" cartoon strip & there's nothing wrong with that.

i also did not care for the writing style employed. it's a lot of very short paragraphs, & about 75% of them are written to set up a joke, the punchline to which is delivered in a single sentence that makes up its own paragraph. the joke is funny less than 1% of the time. i guess if someone out there has spent the last 25 years yearning for the good old days of dave barry's syndicated newspaper column circa 1987, but thinking, "it would be even better if it was written by a woman who is obsessed with cavalier spaniels & HD TV," that person is having a very lucky day. but for the rest of us...we're wondering how this kind of thing gets published.

[Phebe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny and made me want to meet her!

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite the fact that I am a voracious mystery reader, this is my first Lisa Scottoline book--and it is a memoir of her first few years after her daughter moves out into her own apartment in New York City.

It is obvious that after the period of transition, both Lisa and her daughter established new boundaries and new life styles and stayed friends. . in fact, the stories are really fun to read.

I recommend this to anyone who wants to just sit down and enjoy a book--it is light, fun and close to home in many ways.

I have picked up another of Lisa's memoirs written with her daughter--but earlier when the daughter was still in school. . .it will be interesting to compare the boundaries that existed at that time.

Just as an aside--I had a terrible time with empty nest--not regarding boundaries but just figuring out how I could live without someone to take care of besides myself. I have it figured out now--and I love my life--and proud of the way my sons are managing their own.

[Kathy (Bermudaonion) · Rating 4 out of 5]

MY NEST ISN’T EMPTY, IT JUST HAS MORE CLOSET SPACE by Lisa Scottoline and her daughter Francesca Scottoline Serritella is a collection of their Chick Wit newspaper columns. Each essay is just a few pages long so it was the perfect book to dip in and out of over the holidays. I found most of the essays entertaining and enjoyed the authors’ sense of humor.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just plain fun. Although I have no children I can relate to all the dog and cat stories, and I understand the relationship between mother and daughter, as I am an only child, so I get it. Pick this book up and just slip away and enjoy.

[Chloe (Always Booked) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really enjoyable. It's written by Lisa Scottoline and her daughter, Francesca. It's really just her funny thoughts on multiple topics. There were a few parts where I chuckled and I was entertained the whole time. I think this is one of 6 books by her that are just little anecdotes and I thought it was really fun to read the other side of the famous mystery/drama writer. You get to see what she's really like and she seems very down to earth. If you've read any of her books or if you have any interest in her, I would definitely recommend it. I'd also recommend it if you just want a quick, fun read.

[Katherine "Kj" Joslin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love these ladies

[Jasmine's · Rating 5 out of 5]

A funny collection of short stories by one of my favourite authors

[Francesca Bielar · Rating 2 out of 5]

Funny stories but ironically i don’t like Francesca very much

[Lady Lioness · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was a kid, somebody in my family handed me Erma Bombeck. Without delving too much into the psychology behind my reasoning, my career goal as a kid was to be a mom. I wanted six kids and I had the names all picked out. I actuallly don't remember the names at this point, but I do remember there was a heavy floral motif. Reading Erma's books, it was like getting a behind the scenes glimpse of a world I wanted so badly to enter. However, her books were published in the 70s and now that I'm actually old enough to raise a child, the world, and my goals, are very different.

Lisa Scottoline reminds me of a modern-day Erma Bombeck with this collection of newspaper columns. I confess, I've never read any of her mysteries nor do I have any desire to, but I thought this was a terrific book. I noticed her first book, Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog solely because it was in humor and not in mystery. When I saw the review for My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space in Publisher's Weekly, I added it to my TBR.

Scottoline doesn't talk about her writing very often or what it's like to be a New York Times bestselling author. Instead she mainly talks about her house, her pets, her mom, and her daughter. She has a wry, snarky, sense of humor with a deft hand for descriptions. As indicated by the title, the book begins with her 24 year old daughter moving out. The book isn't actually really about that. It's about mice and bats, about dying hair and buying TVs. It's about life, about how the little things keep you going after your world's been altered, and how some things don't change at all.

When I started the book, I was thinking I would lend it to my mother, despite her deserved reputation as a spine-cracker, because my little brother just got married & moved out of the house we all lived in and now lives in Florida. I thought the 'Adults Only' chapter would particularly resonant with her. Then I got to the end and changed my mind. Scottoline talks about discovering the joy of having her house be only her house. Over the course of the book, she's made the adjustment to being a telecommuting mother and found it's not so bad after all. Since I still live at home, this is not something I want my own mother to embrace. I'd come home from work and find an eviction notice taped to my bedroom door.

Scottoline's daughter, Francesca Scottoline Serritella, contributes some very funny chapters to the book as well. My favorite is a tie between the hilarious 'How to Talk to Moms' and the unexpectedly chock full of wisdom 'Crash.' Incidentally, if you're wondering why I will never try Scottoline's mystery novels, it's because I'm the type of person who wondered if Francesca was married and if so, would we meet her future husband in the book? And then when I finished the book, I googled her (Her bio says she lives alone with her dog so Francesca most likely has her dad's last name). You can keep the whodunits, I'm quite satisfied with my happy endings, thank you very much.

In conclusion, rec'd for fans of the late, great, Erma Bombeck, and anyone else who enjoys hearing humorous stories over coffee or a margarita.

[Laurel-Rain · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her second book of essays inspired by her weekly "Chick Wit" column, Lisa Scottoline does it again. A complete home run, as she dishes about extraordinary moments in the life of an ordinary woman.

She shares tidbits, and then her daughter Francesca writes an occasional chapter in which she talks about about life from her perspective—a New York single woman who has a unique relationship with her mother.

Also joining the romp is Mother Mary, Scottoline's 86-year-old mother who is down-to-earth and full of her own ideas about how things should be.

For example, Mother Mary has a list of Things Not To Do. Like "Don't Go To The Movies," "Don't Eat Outside With The Bugs" and "Don't Walk All Over The Cockamamie Mall."

We dive right into the heart of the matter in the beginning of the book, as the author describes her love of Nancy Drew books and how she visualizes herself as kind of a Nancy Drew—and then she lists "similarities," like:

"For starters, Nancy's blond, and I'm blond in my mind.

"She has a dog, and I have five dogs.

"She drives a convertible roadster, and I drive an SUV.

"Well, they're both cars...."

Then we get to the part where she says:

"I just found my first gray hair.

"On my chin.

"I'm trying not to freak."

The whole book is full of these kinds of treats that allow us to feel as though she is taking us into her confidence and sharing her life with us. We learn how she feels about her dogs, about housekeeping, and also about her appliances. Everything is an adventure, which she is sharing with us, just so we can feel like we're part of it all. Like friends.

I like that, and because in this newest of her creations about her personal life, she shows us the inside of her home, literally, through descriptions of the dog-hair covered furniture, the beds "layered" with dogs, and the slightly askew state of things. She also lets us know how it's really hard to let go of your kids, even when they're full grown.

Her daughter writes about cutting the cord: "I thought I said, `I'm going to see my cousin's new apartment,' but in Mom-speak that translates to: `I'm going to meet certain death in the New York City subway tunnels that are soon to be my tomb.'"

Throughout "My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman," Scottoline also shares family moments in casual photographs that spotlight the very special three-generational relationships. A quick read, I felt as though I had garnered another slice of this author's real life and her special connections, as she shared her vulnerabilities, her fears, and how she copes with it all. Definitely five stars.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second book from Lisa Scottoline that is made up of a collection of essays from her "Chick Wit" column in the Philadelphia Inquirer. I can only hope that there will be lots more.

While this book is absolutely perfect for me, fits right in with my age group, going through the same thing, I don't think that it's appeal is just for middle aged women whose children have moved out. While listening to this book, my 21 year old daughter was also in the car, and she found it just as funny as I did. It probably helped that a few of the essays are by Lisa Scottoline's 24 year old daughter.

I think that everyone can relate to a story that begins: "I bought my house a big screen TV for Christmas...".

I love her family..from Mother Mary to Brother Frank. It reads like a wonderfully created fictional family, perfect for a comedy novel, only it's not. It's her real family. And like her real family, she is so real. She is not afraid to let you into her life. She is the kind of person you wish you knew, could hang out with, watch some movies on her big screen tv, with her assortment of dogs scattered around you.

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This novel was a definite fun, quick summer read. I picked it up on a whim while at WalMart with a few friends and am quite glad I did. Ms. Scottoline and her daughter are both interesting, quirky and relatable women who easily made me smile with their charming and amusing dialect.

My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space requires much less commitment in comparison to the book I regularly read and I thoroughly appreciated that. I could leave off at any time or point within the book and easily come back later if I wanted too (even though I read it within a single night) without returning confused. I could even start another book while in the middle of this if I wanted. Its that simple without being boring.

Like I said, the book was such an entertaining summer read. I would definitely recommend to anyone who wants to simply take a break from reading, without really taking a break. It doesn't require much thought at all and would be the perfect book to bring on a summer's beach day. Thumbs up!

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space by Lisa Scottiline is a breezy trip through the author's relationships with her daughter and her mother.

It is funny and witty and just the thing to pop into your purse when going to the doctor or the dentist. It will relieve your stress. The short chapters tell little bits of the author's life. I read most of it when I was totally exhausted yet I kept turning the pages. She is one of my favorite mystery writers after all.

What surprises me is that in many ways I am like Lisa! I too loved Nancy Drew when I was growing up. I too, have had an insect fly into my ear, hers was a moth and mine was a bumble bee. We have had the exactly the same reaction to our gray hairs. I feel like her sister! This book is like comfort food without the calories. Plus it is loaded with photos of her, her daughter and her mother. Enjoy!

I recommend this book as a stress reliever and mood elevator.

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

You know how some authors are ones that you know you could sit and have a cup of coffee or a beer with and laugh and talk about you life? You know you would have a great time together. Lisa Scottoline is one of those authors for me. Whenever I read one of her non-fiction books like this one I always think, "I want to be this woman's friend." I'm sure most of her readers have that exact same thought. She's just so dang funny, and I can relate to so many of the everyday things she writes about-her house full of dogs who share her bed, her love of food, especially comfort food, and how she watches constantly for new gray hairs. Good stuff to read after lots of all the heavy and serious stuff I tend to go for.

[Belle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very Erma Bombeck-esque. If you don’t know, you don’t know but then don’t read this book.

“I’m not dead yet.
I’m letting my freak flag fly.
Also, you’re not the boss of me.
Yay, us!”

That about sums up the whole of the book.

It was a nice palette cleanser between my more “ serious” books. Lol.

[Joan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Who would have guessed that Lisa Scottoline could write humor - and read it aloud - so well? I have long been a fan of her mystery novels but was unaware that she also writes humor. This was an entertaining audiobook to walk the levee by.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the right book at the right time.

[Julie Rains · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s cute, but it wasn’t what I was searching for! I was looking for specific things on empty nesting and this was just a fun, lighthearted insight into this person’s life. Would’ve given it 2 stars but just because it wasn’t what I was looking for doesn’t mean someone else won’t like it. If you just want to read funny stories about someone’s funny life, go for it. If you’re looking for insight on the change that empty nesting brings….move along ;)

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this CD compilation of the author’s newspaper columns. It was a joy to get a glimpse of her real life, at least the way she portrays it in her writings, but I loved her sense of humor and the way she writes.

[Deborah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny and entertaining. Now I may check out some of her mystery series. Also I read this as a book,
not a Cd, I don't know how that happened.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a hilarious book to listen to on the road.

[Sherri Silvera · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Any woman can relate to her stories !!! Need a good laugh?? Go for it!!! Really enjoyed it!

[Diane Zimmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really liked this listen, she is so funny! I will read more of her books.

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars