What do you think?
Rate this book
On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person: A guide to boundaries, joy, and meaning
In a culture that ranks sociability and extroversion above the introverted traits of deep thinking and being alone, Ilse Sand shows how to find joy and meaning as an introvert or highly sensitive person. She debates whether these traits are caused by nature or nurture, and shows how someone like this can organise their life to keep them content. What she says is appropriate for people who are temporarily, or for some other reason, in a sensitive situation - for example, because of stress, trauma or burn-out.
It describes the introverted personality type and the highly sensitive trait, highlighting the strengths that come with it such as good listening skills and rich imagination, and suggests ways to overcome the negatives such as the need to avoid overstimulation and over-critical thinking.
Including advice from other introverts or highly sensitive people, and two self-tests for sensitive and introverted traits, this book provides a deeper understanding of introversion and high sensitivity and gives those with these personality types greater faith and courage in their own talents.
It describes the introverted personality type and the highly sensitive trait, highlighting the strengths that come with it such as good listening skills and rich imagination, and suggests ways to overcome the negatives such as the need to avoid overstimulation and over-critical thinking.
Including advice from other introverts or highly sensitive people, and two self-tests for sensitive and introverted traits, this book provides a deeper understanding of introversion and high sensitivity and gives those with these personality types greater faith and courage in their own talents.
128 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2017
35 people are currently reading
317 people want to read
About the author
Ilse Sand
54 books68 followersFor many years Ilse Sand has been engaged in counseling highly sensitive people both as a pastor and as a psychotherapist.
Before she became a psychotherapist, public speaker and author, Ilse worked as parish pastor under the Danish National Church for eleven years until 2006.
lIlse Sand has a Master’s Degree in Theology from Aarhus University, where her Master’s thesis was based on the works of Swiss Psychiatrist C.G. Jung and Danish Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard. The works of Jung and Kierkegaard has had an impact on both her personal life as well as her professional life and writing.
Through her work as a pastor, Ilse Sand became interested in helping people on a deeper level, and she became educated in psychotherapy within Gestalt Therapy, Cognitive Therapy and Psycho Dynamic Therapy among others.
Before she became a psychotherapist, public speaker and author, Ilse worked as parish pastor under the Danish National Church for eleven years until 2006.
lIlse Sand has a Master’s Degree in Theology from Aarhus University, where her Master’s thesis was based on the works of Swiss Psychiatrist C.G. Jung and Danish Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard. The works of Jung and Kierkegaard has had an impact on both her personal life as well as her professional life and writing.
Through her work as a pastor, Ilse Sand became interested in helping people on a deeper level, and she became educated in psychotherapy within Gestalt Therapy, Cognitive Therapy and Psycho Dynamic Therapy among others.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
February 9, 2018
As an introvert myself, I thought a book dedicated the study of introversion would be both fascinating and helpful in life. And, initially, that is just what this was. This discoursed on the struggles introverts face, as well as society's bias towards extroverted activities and individuals. The scale of introversion was discussed and small quizzes helped the reader to find their place on this chart. This was also peppered with snippets from other self-proclaimed introverts lives, which made this relatable and facts surrounding them feel less daunting.
My issue was with how the author proposed you could 'tackle' your introversion and the hacks that could be improvised to make every-day life less of an anxiety-riddled muddle. For example, the idea of cutting off those who approach me with a simple 'I don't want to talk' filled me with a fear of dread rather than providing a way to avoid unwanted interaction. This may be okay, in theory, when approached by strangers but I could not imagine speaking to friends, family, or colleagues in this manner.
Another example was when the reader proposed a brisk walk to help clear a muddled mind. This, I completely agree with and already find a relaxing escape from my own mind. What I didn't appreciate was the author's suggestion for the reader to find a secluded spot to perform this, and recounted times she had been interrupted in her reverie by strangers asking if she was okay due to the pensive expression on her face. Annoyance was expressed by this intrusion rather than gratitude at this kindness.
I completely understand the author's intentions with these and how it depicted how skewed society is in favour of extroversion. I also understand the point of these is not to offend but to convince the reader that saying no can be a guilt-free experience. I do, however, believe there could be kinder ways to do so and could never imagine myself enacting these proposed suggestions.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the author, Ilse Sand, and the publisher, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, for this opportunity.
My issue was with how the author proposed you could 'tackle' your introversion and the hacks that could be improvised to make every-day life less of an anxiety-riddled muddle. For example, the idea of cutting off those who approach me with a simple 'I don't want to talk' filled me with a fear of dread rather than providing a way to avoid unwanted interaction. This may be okay, in theory, when approached by strangers but I could not imagine speaking to friends, family, or colleagues in this manner.
Another example was when the reader proposed a brisk walk to help clear a muddled mind. This, I completely agree with and already find a relaxing escape from my own mind. What I didn't appreciate was the author's suggestion for the reader to find a secluded spot to perform this, and recounted times she had been interrupted in her reverie by strangers asking if she was okay due to the pensive expression on her face. Annoyance was expressed by this intrusion rather than gratitude at this kindness.
I completely understand the author's intentions with these and how it depicted how skewed society is in favour of extroversion. I also understand the point of these is not to offend but to convince the reader that saying no can be a guilt-free experience. I do, however, believe there could be kinder ways to do so and could never imagine myself enacting these proposed suggestions.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the author, Ilse Sand, and the publisher, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, for this opportunity.
November 4, 2017
On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person should have had me saying, “Me, too!” on every page. I was really excited to learn some cool new things to celebrate about being an introvert. I haven’t read any books about sensitivity so was hoping for plenty of lightbulb moments. Unfortunately I was disappointed. I felt this book read more as an introduction to introversion and sensitivity rather than an in depth study on either topic.
I expect that if you haven’t read anything about being an introvert you would gain new insights. However I’ve recently read Jenn Granneman’s The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World and Debbie Tung’s graphic novel Quiet Girl in a Noisy World: An Introvert's Story, and I personally found these previous reads more enlightening and uplifting.
Ilse Sand developed two tests for this book to use as a guide for where you sit on the introvert/extrovert scale and how sensitive you are. By testing myself I wound up with a score of +56 on the introvert/extrovert scale, where +64 is as introverted as you can get, -64 is as extroverted as you can get and around 0 means you’re ambivert (a new word for me). The sensitivity scale is much the same, except +40 is highly sensitive, 0 is moderately sensitive and -40 is ordinarily sensitive. My score for this one was +29. I’m not as introverted or as sensitive as it’s humanly possible to be but I’m right up there so while I think that should’ve converted to a “Me, too!” extravaganza while reading this book, I just didn’t feel it.
There’s nothing that wrong with this book but I lacked a connection with the writing style, which may be due to it having been translated from Danish for this edition. I found some of the sentences and phrasing clunky and there were some instances where I felt the writing could have benefited from another sentence between thoughts to connect them more cohesively.
There were a few parts I found cringeworthy, especially those where it read as though introversion is an excuse to sit on the bench of life rather than it being something to be celebrated. I doubt very much that this was the author’s intention so it may again come down to something being lost in the translation.
I quite enjoyed the information explaining Carl Jung’s work distinguishing personality types, Elaine Aron’s research into the highly sensitive character trait and Jerome Kagan’s studies into high-reactive children.
The author made good use of personal anecdotes and quotes from her work as a parish pastor and psychotherapist. I wondered why it was necessary for some examples to be fictionalised and others used anonymously as there weren’t any skeleton in the closet revelations.
Some readers may baulk at reading this book knowing it was written by an author who has worked as a pastor but I didn’t find it preachy. The examples that included the author’s church were primarily used to explore the differences between the introverted author and the church’s previous extroverted pastor. The serenity prayer was included, as was a reference to making something an idol in your life.
I encountered one of my pet peeves in this book on three occasions that I can recall, where the author tells you that you really need to know something and then rather than telling you this life changing piece of information, they refer you to one of their other books. Personally when someone does that I deliberately avoid the book they’re plugging but that could just be my stubborn showing. If you write a book well then I’ll seek out your other books myself, but if you tease me with the possibility of insight and then rip it away unless I buy another of your books, then I tend to search for that information elsewhere.
The author’s foray into mental health conditions towards the end of the book seemed to come out of left field and as someone who’s experienced PTSD I found the following sentences a tad weird coming from a psychotherapist, “If you are extremely afraid, for example of the anger of others, you should be aware that you may have PTSD. If you do not remember it, ask your parents whether you were subjected to violence when you were a child.” (82%) People, just because you have fear doesn’t mean you have PTSD but if you do think you may have PTSD please seek help from a medical professional!
Please note that this quote is from the ARC and may change prior to the publication date.
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley (thank you so much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity) in exchange for honest feedback.
I expect that if you haven’t read anything about being an introvert you would gain new insights. However I’ve recently read Jenn Granneman’s The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World and Debbie Tung’s graphic novel Quiet Girl in a Noisy World: An Introvert's Story, and I personally found these previous reads more enlightening and uplifting.
Ilse Sand developed two tests for this book to use as a guide for where you sit on the introvert/extrovert scale and how sensitive you are. By testing myself I wound up with a score of +56 on the introvert/extrovert scale, where +64 is as introverted as you can get, -64 is as extroverted as you can get and around 0 means you’re ambivert (a new word for me). The sensitivity scale is much the same, except +40 is highly sensitive, 0 is moderately sensitive and -40 is ordinarily sensitive. My score for this one was +29. I’m not as introverted or as sensitive as it’s humanly possible to be but I’m right up there so while I think that should’ve converted to a “Me, too!” extravaganza while reading this book, I just didn’t feel it.
There’s nothing that wrong with this book but I lacked a connection with the writing style, which may be due to it having been translated from Danish for this edition. I found some of the sentences and phrasing clunky and there were some instances where I felt the writing could have benefited from another sentence between thoughts to connect them more cohesively.
There were a few parts I found cringeworthy, especially those where it read as though introversion is an excuse to sit on the bench of life rather than it being something to be celebrated. I doubt very much that this was the author’s intention so it may again come down to something being lost in the translation.
I quite enjoyed the information explaining Carl Jung’s work distinguishing personality types, Elaine Aron’s research into the highly sensitive character trait and Jerome Kagan’s studies into high-reactive children.
The author made good use of personal anecdotes and quotes from her work as a parish pastor and psychotherapist. I wondered why it was necessary for some examples to be fictionalised and others used anonymously as there weren’t any skeleton in the closet revelations.
Some readers may baulk at reading this book knowing it was written by an author who has worked as a pastor but I didn’t find it preachy. The examples that included the author’s church were primarily used to explore the differences between the introverted author and the church’s previous extroverted pastor. The serenity prayer was included, as was a reference to making something an idol in your life.
I encountered one of my pet peeves in this book on three occasions that I can recall, where the author tells you that you really need to know something and then rather than telling you this life changing piece of information, they refer you to one of their other books. Personally when someone does that I deliberately avoid the book they’re plugging but that could just be my stubborn showing. If you write a book well then I’ll seek out your other books myself, but if you tease me with the possibility of insight and then rip it away unless I buy another of your books, then I tend to search for that information elsewhere.
The author’s foray into mental health conditions towards the end of the book seemed to come out of left field and as someone who’s experienced PTSD I found the following sentences a tad weird coming from a psychotherapist, “If you are extremely afraid, for example of the anger of others, you should be aware that you may have PTSD. If you do not remember it, ask your parents whether you were subjected to violence when you were a child.” (82%) People, just because you have fear doesn’t mean you have PTSD but if you do think you may have PTSD please seek help from a medical professional!
Please note that this quote is from the ARC and may change prior to the publication date.
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley (thank you so much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity) in exchange for honest feedback.
February 21, 2018
This is a great book for you to read if you haven't read anything about being introverted or extroverted before. In fact, that's a thing I've seen in many reviews - but this is precisely why I loved the book. In fact, I am a highly sensitive person, but happen to be somewhere right around the middle of introverted and extroverted, having reverted back and forth several times in my life! So because of that, it was an extremely interesting read, as I've never really seen that talked about, or the fact that you could actually change and this is not weird. It was also pleasant to find out that there's nothing wrong with ME - being sensitive is genetic, and it can also be enforced in your early childhood. It's not a sickness. IT'S THE WAY YOU ARE. And it's incredibly important for people like us to be told that, understand and accept that.
And this is precisely what this book is about! It will help you understand what kind of personality you are, and accept that despite our society, our culture and even our workplaces catering to only a certain type of personality, you are OKAY the way you are.
There are also some very simple solutions in this book on how to deal with society and people, and generally - LIFE - if you're highly sensitive or an introvert. I couldn't say they're earth-shattering (like a lot of the reviewers seem to he pointing out), but they are positive and constructive, and they might be enough to nudge you in the right direction. There is also a test at the end of the book to find out how introverted, extroverted or sensitive you are.
I thank the publisher for giving me a free copy of the book for my honest and unbiased review.
More Reviews on My Blog | My Bookstagram | Bookish Twitter
And this is precisely what this book is about! It will help you understand what kind of personality you are, and accept that despite our society, our culture and even our workplaces catering to only a certain type of personality, you are OKAY the way you are.
There are also some very simple solutions in this book on how to deal with society and people, and generally - LIFE - if you're highly sensitive or an introvert. I couldn't say they're earth-shattering (like a lot of the reviewers seem to he pointing out), but they are positive and constructive, and they might be enough to nudge you in the right direction. There is also a test at the end of the book to find out how introverted, extroverted or sensitive you are.
I thank the publisher for giving me a free copy of the book for my honest and unbiased review.
More Reviews on My Blog | My Bookstagram | Bookish Twitter
December 12, 2022
Tựa tiếng Việt mới ra là "Dám sống hướng nội và cực kì nhạy cảm" :> Cũng OK nhưng mà mình không thích bằng "Người hướng nội trong thế giới hướng ngoại" đọc mấy tháng trước. Đó giờ mình chỉ biết tính mình thiên về Hướng nội thui nhưng mà sau khi đọc xong quyển này mình mới nhận ra mình ko chỉ hướng nội mà còn "highly sensitive" nữa (khái niệm này đó h mình ko biết nên ko tìm hiểu :v mà đúng là bây h biết rồi thì mới để ý có nhiều người cũng hướng nội và thích yên tĩnh nhưng mà họ ko thuộc loại cực kì nhạy cảm nên là họ cũng rất khác biệt vs mình)
.
Nội dung quyển này thì gói gọn hết trong cái tiêu đề rồi (A guide to boundaries, joy, and meaning), dung lượng chỉ có hơn 100 trang chút xíu. Nếu muốn biết thêm về kiểu người Highly Sensitive thì tác giả này có 1 quyển nữa (mình chưa đọc) nhưng có vẻ là giải thích chi tiết hơn về những đặc điểm tính cách của họ, còn quyển này đọc cho vui thôi chứ lượng thông tin không nhiều và cũng ko đem lại cho mình nhiều lời khuyên mới lắm, chủ yếu mình mua đọc để dc cảm thấy an ủi là chính.
.
Hồi còn đi học mình ko có để ý gì đến hướng nội hướng ngoại hay nhạy cảm vs khum nhạy cảm hết. Có thể vì mình thích trường lớp, mình hòa nhập tốt và sống vui vẻ nên mình ko cảm thấy có vấn đề gì để mình có động lực tìm hiểu. Nhưng mà từ khi rời khỏi trường lớp thì mình bắt đầu có những khó khăn khi hòa nhập với môi trường mới, tính mình ko phải là nhút nhát và tự ti vì nếu mình nhát thì mình đã nhát từ hồi còn đi học rồi. Nói chung cái tính cách của mình mà ở trong 1 môi trường nhiều kích thích và đòi hỏi nhiều năng lượng thì rất là mệt mỏi, dù có thể đầu việc ko nhiều. Đọc mấy quyển sách viết về người hướng nội làm mình cảm thấy thoải mái hơn và dễ dàng chấp nhận tính cách của mình hơn. Nhưng mình cũng biết là đọc vậy thì nó chỉ an ủi mình 1 lúc thôi, chứ nếu mình thực sự muốn cuộc sống mình thay đổi thì mình phải tìm kiếm một môi trường phù hợp với mình và cho mình cơ hội thích nghi được vs cái môi trường đó, đó vậy nên hành trình trở thành 1 người hướng nội-nhạy cảm hạnh phúc mà lại còn thành công trong công việc nữa, mình ko bik bao giờ mình mới có thể làm được :v Đôi khi mình nghĩ, nếu mình thích nghi tốt được với trường lớp, thì có lẽ mình nên quay lại trường đại học, chứ chắc mình làm văn phòng ko hợp (một nơi nhiều kích thích và khả năng cao là dễ có drama @@)
.
Một điểm mà mình thấy thích và đúng với trải nghiệm của mình trong quyển sách này là người hướng nội-nhạy cảm họ phản ứng mạnh với những kích thích từ môi trường. Mỗi khi mà nghe âm thanh hơi bất ngờ xíu mình cứ giật bắn mình lên ấy trong khi mng xung quanh ko ai đến mức như thế,.. tương tự với cảm xúc luôn. Nhiều người hay nói mình bớt nghiêm trọng lại, bớt suy nghĩ lại cho đời nó nhẹ nhàng bớt nhưng mà có phải mình muốn thế đâu. Mỗi lần mình đang xúc động mà ai đó nói mình mong manh dễ vỡ quá mình cũng bực lắm, nhưng mà mình bực chính mình chứ ko phải bực người khác. Lý trí mình cũng cảm thấy chuyện này chả có gì nghiêm trọng, nhưng cảm xúc mình thì mình ko điều khiển được, hoặc nhiều lắm thì mình điều khiển được cái biểu hiện bên ngoài của mình thôi, chứ cảm xúc bên trong mình ko làm khác được. Bởi z nên mình đồng tình với lời khuyên của tác giả là tìm cách bảo vệ bản thân trước các kích thích, tìm cách hạn chế nó lại, như đeo tai nghe chẳng hạn...
.
Vậy thui. Mình thích "Người hướng nội trong thế giới hướng ngoại" hơn. Quyển đấy tác giả là người Hàn Quốc, viết theo kiểu self-help và phần lớn là từ trải nghiệm cá nhân của chính tác giả, mình đọc thấy gần gũi và cũng may là nhiều cái gần giống với bản thân mình nên mình rất thích. Quyển này tác giả người Đan Mạch, là một nhà tâm lý học với cách viết khách quan hơn và đưa trải nghiệm của nhiều người khác nhau vào nên nói chung background của 2 tác giả rất khác nhau, n��n cách viết nó sẽ khác. Nhưng mà mình thấy quyển này đọc cho vui chứ cũng ko sâu lắm, cũng ko nặng về tâm lý học. Mình sẽ đọc thử quyển về người cực kì nhạy cảm xem tác giả phân tích thế nào.
.
Nội dung quyển này thì gói gọn hết trong cái tiêu đề rồi (A guide to boundaries, joy, and meaning), dung lượng chỉ có hơn 100 trang chút xíu. Nếu muốn biết thêm về kiểu người Highly Sensitive thì tác giả này có 1 quyển nữa (mình chưa đọc) nhưng có vẻ là giải thích chi tiết hơn về những đặc điểm tính cách của họ, còn quyển này đọc cho vui thôi chứ lượng thông tin không nhiều và cũng ko đem lại cho mình nhiều lời khuyên mới lắm, chủ yếu mình mua đọc để dc cảm thấy an ủi là chính.
.
Hồi còn đi học mình ko có để ý gì đến hướng nội hướng ngoại hay nhạy cảm vs khum nhạy cảm hết. Có thể vì mình thích trường lớp, mình hòa nhập tốt và sống vui vẻ nên mình ko cảm thấy có vấn đề gì để mình có động lực tìm hiểu. Nhưng mà từ khi rời khỏi trường lớp thì mình bắt đầu có những khó khăn khi hòa nhập với môi trường mới, tính mình ko phải là nhút nhát và tự ti vì nếu mình nhát thì mình đã nhát từ hồi còn đi học rồi. Nói chung cái tính cách của mình mà ở trong 1 môi trường nhiều kích thích và đòi hỏi nhiều năng lượng thì rất là mệt mỏi, dù có thể đầu việc ko nhiều. Đọc mấy quyển sách viết về người hướng nội làm mình cảm thấy thoải mái hơn và dễ dàng chấp nhận tính cách của mình hơn. Nhưng mình cũng biết là đọc vậy thì nó chỉ an ủi mình 1 lúc thôi, chứ nếu mình thực sự muốn cuộc sống mình thay đổi thì mình phải tìm kiếm một môi trường phù hợp với mình và cho mình cơ hội thích nghi được vs cái môi trường đó, đó vậy nên hành trình trở thành 1 người hướng nội-nhạy cảm hạnh phúc mà lại còn thành công trong công việc nữa, mình ko bik bao giờ mình mới có thể làm được :v Đôi khi mình nghĩ, nếu mình thích nghi tốt được với trường lớp, thì có lẽ mình nên quay lại trường đại học, chứ chắc mình làm văn phòng ko hợp (một nơi nhiều kích thích và khả năng cao là dễ có drama @@)
.
Một điểm mà mình thấy thích và đúng với trải nghiệm của mình trong quyển sách này là người hướng nội-nhạy cảm họ phản ứng mạnh với những kích thích từ môi trường. Mỗi khi mà nghe âm thanh hơi bất ngờ xíu mình cứ giật bắn mình lên ấy trong khi mng xung quanh ko ai đến mức như thế,.. tương tự với cảm xúc luôn. Nhiều người hay nói mình bớt nghiêm trọng lại, bớt suy nghĩ lại cho đời nó nhẹ nhàng bớt nhưng mà có phải mình muốn thế đâu. Mỗi lần mình đang xúc động mà ai đó nói mình mong manh dễ vỡ quá mình cũng bực lắm, nhưng mà mình bực chính mình chứ ko phải bực người khác. Lý trí mình cũng cảm thấy chuyện này chả có gì nghiêm trọng, nhưng cảm xúc mình thì mình ko điều khiển được, hoặc nhiều lắm thì mình điều khiển được cái biểu hiện bên ngoài của mình thôi, chứ cảm xúc bên trong mình ko làm khác được. Bởi z nên mình đồng tình với lời khuyên của tác giả là tìm cách bảo vệ bản thân trước các kích thích, tìm cách hạn chế nó lại, như đeo tai nghe chẳng hạn...
.
Vậy thui. Mình thích "Người hướng nội trong thế giới hướng ngoại" hơn. Quyển đấy tác giả là người Hàn Quốc, viết theo kiểu self-help và phần lớn là từ trải nghiệm cá nhân của chính tác giả, mình đọc thấy gần gũi và cũng may là nhiều cái gần giống với bản thân mình nên mình rất thích. Quyển này tác giả người Đan Mạch, là một nhà tâm lý học với cách viết khách quan hơn và đưa trải nghiệm của nhiều người khác nhau vào nên nói chung background của 2 tác giả rất khác nhau, n��n cách viết nó sẽ khác. Nhưng mà mình thấy quyển này đọc cho vui chứ cũng ko sâu lắm, cũng ko nặng về tâm lý học. Mình sẽ đọc thử quyển về người cực kì nhạy cảm xem tác giả phân tích thế nào.
February 15, 2018
*Thank you to the author and NetGalley for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
3.5 stars
I accept myself as being both an introvert and a highly sensitive person. Thanks, anxiety! So, typically, I wanted to pick this up and see what kind of "guidance" was being given. It's a pretty quick read. It has comments from fellow introverts' throughout the differing chapter topics, and there are some interactive checklists/quizzes inside, which is always a nice addition.
With being a counselor and psychotherapist, Sands is obviously deeply knowledgeable on both subjects, and how best to approach them through self and supported management. However, I found it odd that her "solutions," to certain situations that can be difficult for introverts/highly sensitive people to deal with, consisted of being pretty blunt with people and telling them straight, "I don't want to talk" etc, which doesn't make sense to me... I had a heart attack just reading them.
This book is very informatic on the subjects, but the guides were questionable. At the end of the day, we can read an abundance of self-help books... but for me, they never have an impact.
3.5 stars
I accept myself as being both an introvert and a highly sensitive person. Thanks, anxiety! So, typically, I wanted to pick this up and see what kind of "guidance" was being given. It's a pretty quick read. It has comments from fellow introverts' throughout the differing chapter topics, and there are some interactive checklists/quizzes inside, which is always a nice addition.
With being a counselor and psychotherapist, Sands is obviously deeply knowledgeable on both subjects, and how best to approach them through self and supported management. However, I found it odd that her "solutions," to certain situations that can be difficult for introverts/highly sensitive people to deal with, consisted of being pretty blunt with people and telling them straight, "I don't want to talk" etc, which doesn't make sense to me... I had a heart attack just reading them.
This book is very informatic on the subjects, but the guides were questionable. At the end of the day, we can read an abundance of self-help books... but for me, they never have an impact.
December 15, 2022
такое ощущение, что просто собрали картинки с пинтереста
December 7, 2024
An excellent guide to HSPs.Easy to read and comprehend.
June 6, 2024
I saw this book and thought it would appeal to me being an introverted person. However, I found some of the advice very unrealistic. “I’m sorry I can’t attend your wedding reception, it’s not my kind of thing” is not going to fly in the real world. How to become socially isolated in less than 200 pages.
July 13, 2019
As someone who is both I am always curious to read books about either introversion or being a HSP and I was excited to see this book cover both! I'm familiar with various books, websites, etc. and was interested to see what Sand had to say.
If you're not new to being either/both then there's not a lot that will be new. She talks about what they are, how to cope in certain situations, etc. I also didn't find the writing style particularly compelling, and it looks like part of the issue is that it's translated from Danish, which explains a lot.
I also found some of the advice both occasionally helpful and sometimes a little too much on the side of sheltering ones self. Other people have discussed how the approaches are not best, such as very bluntly telling someone "I don't want to talk."
For me this is most obvious when she talks about cutting down on the news. As a concept I don't think it's bad advice, but she openly states she won't follow any news and will ask someone else to give her an abbreviated version. I can understand it, I do. But I also think in some ways this can give introverts/HSPs to remain uninformed and sheltered to the point of becoming genuine hindrances OR (as in the situation of asking someone else to tell you), a decrease in the the ability to critically think for oneself. It also lends to an avoidance of dealing with uncomfortable concepts or events which also, again, doesn't help the HSP and greater society.
There is a balance to these things and I'm not sure it really helps an HSP to chose not to remain informed, especially when there are outlets who do "sanitize" their coverage by not reporting the most gory details and/or are now adding notes that their reports may be distressing.
It's a pity because I waited forever to find a copy from the library but in the end I'm glad I didn't buy it. I'm not sure this is really the best book out there for introversion and being high sensitive. There are other, better books out there and I'd only recommend it if it's the only copy you can acquire via library, purchase, etc.
If you're not new to being either/both then there's not a lot that will be new. She talks about what they are, how to cope in certain situations, etc. I also didn't find the writing style particularly compelling, and it looks like part of the issue is that it's translated from Danish, which explains a lot.
I also found some of the advice both occasionally helpful and sometimes a little too much on the side of sheltering ones self. Other people have discussed how the approaches are not best, such as very bluntly telling someone "I don't want to talk."
For me this is most obvious when she talks about cutting down on the news. As a concept I don't think it's bad advice, but she openly states she won't follow any news and will ask someone else to give her an abbreviated version. I can understand it, I do. But I also think in some ways this can give introverts/HSPs to remain uninformed and sheltered to the point of becoming genuine hindrances OR (as in the situation of asking someone else to tell you), a decrease in the the ability to critically think for oneself. It also lends to an avoidance of dealing with uncomfortable concepts or events which also, again, doesn't help the HSP and greater society.
There is a balance to these things and I'm not sure it really helps an HSP to chose not to remain informed, especially when there are outlets who do "sanitize" their coverage by not reporting the most gory details and/or are now adding notes that their reports may be distressing.
It's a pity because I waited forever to find a copy from the library but in the end I'm glad I didn't buy it. I'm not sure this is really the best book out there for introversion and being high sensitive. There are other, better books out there and I'd only recommend it if it's the only copy you can acquire via library, purchase, etc.
November 3, 2017
I'll preface this by saying that I am not a self-help reader. Until coming across this book, I have never knowingly chosen to read any type of self-help guide. I'm completely unfamiliar with the genre and its conventions, so I can't comment on the ways in which this book fits into or deviates from the usual things readers of this genre might expect. This is a practical, advice-heavy volume, and as such it's definitely a bit dry. The author self-identifies as both an introvert and an HSP, and so she is able to offer brief glimpses into her own life (many of which are quite interesting—she briefly discusses living in a commune with her young children) in order to illustrate her points, but doesn't go into much detail or dwell on personal anecdotes. At times I found the advice overly prescriptive (with a few broad, blanket statements that made me bristle a little), but more frequently it is presented in a soft, gentle manner (as is appropriate, given the sorts of readers who are likely to be drawn to this book). It was a helpful read for me, as a lifelong introvert and likely HSP. I would also recommend it to parents, close friends, and partners of introverts and/or HSPs, who would certainly benefit from a deeper understanding of the needs and sensitivities of their loved ones. [3.5 stars]
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a copy for review.
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a copy for review.
November 16, 2017
On Being an Introverted or a Highly Sensitive Person by Ilse Sand is a very interesting read, as I myself am both an Introvert and a Highly Sensitive Person I knew I just I had to pick this up and give it a read.
Up until till today I wasn't able distinguish what the differences where between both, but whilst reading this the lines have become clearer and I'm able to see what trait belongs to which title. Even though I found this helpful I just wish we were given a deeper understanding of Introversion and HS instead of a book that's just skimming the surface.
Ilse has identified as both and Introvert and Highly Sensitive so she sheds some light on some of hers amd others experiences and how they impacted them. In some cases she explains how they delt with their situations or she has explained how other Introverts, Extroverts & HS people can and may respond to these situations.
So as I did find this somewhat helpful I feel it wasn't what I was looking for but I feel this may be great to hand to a relative or a friend to help them better understand the life of Introverts and Sensitive people.
Up until till today I wasn't able distinguish what the differences where between both, but whilst reading this the lines have become clearer and I'm able to see what trait belongs to which title. Even though I found this helpful I just wish we were given a deeper understanding of Introversion and HS instead of a book that's just skimming the surface.
Ilse has identified as both and Introvert and Highly Sensitive so she sheds some light on some of hers amd others experiences and how they impacted them. In some cases she explains how they delt with their situations or she has explained how other Introverts, Extroverts & HS people can and may respond to these situations.
So as I did find this somewhat helpful I feel it wasn't what I was looking for but I feel this may be great to hand to a relative or a friend to help them better understand the life of Introverts and Sensitive people.
July 28, 2020
I read her other book to do with highly sensitive people and I have to say I much preferred that one. This book just seems very repetitive of her other stuff and quite vague. So I struggle to understand why she wrote it. It just wasn't anything particularly interesting and there wasn't a great structure or writing style to it.
I finished it and liked it for the fact she expresses the experience of an introvert or highly sensitive person well but the advice and help is very vague and I won't be taking much of it away with me. It just felt like a book she wrote from the heart with no research done. I did still like it though cause I liked her other book and I have an interest in the hsp and introvert subject.
I finished it and liked it for the fact she expresses the experience of an introvert or highly sensitive person well but the advice and help is very vague and I won't be taking much of it away with me. It just felt like a book she wrote from the heart with no research done. I did still like it though cause I liked her other book and I have an interest in the hsp and introvert subject.
September 1, 2020
A short but wonderful book on introverts and highly sensitive people. In the book, it addresses many issues that introverts faced. Rather than issues, I would say values, behaviour and personality that introverts have. Ilse managed to touch on them very well and the solution that she has provided sounds workable. It is definitely something that I can take note of. The notes that I have taken can be found in my website as it is a little too long to post in here.
Overall, I feel that Ilse has touch on the topic on introverts and highly sensitive people really well. It provides us with more clarity of who they are and in some ways, I can resonate with what she had said in the book because I myself is an introvert as well.
Overall, I feel that Ilse has touch on the topic on introverts and highly sensitive people really well. It provides us with more clarity of who they are and in some ways, I can resonate with what she had said in the book because I myself is an introvert as well.
November 16, 2017
I would recommend this book for anyone who is being introduced to personality typing. The author provides personal details, which help greatly in defining introvert behaviors and HSP behaviors. I enjoy reading self help books and applying methods to my own life; I found that this book was too basic for the research that I've already done. For anyone who is just beginning to explore self-help, this book is organized well, provides concrete and real life examples, and is helpful with self testing.
This book rates a solid 3 because of the organization and recommendations. It's going to be too basic for most readers.
This book rates a solid 3 because of the organization and recommendations. It's going to be too basic for most readers.
February 18, 2018
An interesting look into what it is like to be an introvert and highly sensitive person. Ilse provides real-life examples throughout, adding even more of a personal touch to this literary work.
As an introvert myself, I found this book rather intriguing, and it describes the life and feelings of an introvert effectively.
I definitely recommend this for fans of Quiet by Susan Cain, and to those who want to delve into the minds of introverts (and to a certain extent extroverts), a little more.
As an introvert myself, I found this book rather intriguing, and it describes the life and feelings of an introvert effectively.
I definitely recommend this for fans of Quiet by Susan Cain, and to those who want to delve into the minds of introverts (and to a certain extent extroverts), a little more.
January 13, 2019
I’m a HSR, and it shows more when I’m in a relationship, it bothers me because when I’m alone I wouldn’t realize how much I’m bothered by those negative thoughts although I consider myself to be 70% positive, but when I’m in a relationship there’s always someone who can sense my mood and since I don’t want to lie to my bf I usually talk him about this and he usually needs to spend lots of time to talk me out of the mood and I’m so afraid he would get tired soon...
this books helps me a bit how to deal with the world when I feel guilty Over everything
this books helps me a bit how to deal with the world when I feel guilty Over everything
November 9, 2019
My therapist raised that she thought I was a highly sensitive person earlier this year (I’d also long suspected this) so I was interested to do some reading on the topic.
Honestly the book was kind of dry and I had difficulty paying attention to all of it but there were some really great insights that aligned with the ACT therapy I am currently doing. Informative but a little too introductory at times- I think if you’ve never done any sort of therapy at all the themes would be new and possibly more eye opening, but overall, not a bad book on the subject.
Honestly the book was kind of dry and I had difficulty paying attention to all of it but there were some really great insights that aligned with the ACT therapy I am currently doing. Informative but a little too introductory at times- I think if you’ve never done any sort of therapy at all the themes would be new and possibly more eye opening, but overall, not a bad book on the subject.
February 16, 2020
This book was pretty good, but not great. It was nice to hear from someone else who is also an introvert and sensitive, and have some of what I experience validated. Having said that, I pretty much already knew everything in this book since I have have made it a point to learn about this character type. As such, this book wasn't bad, but if you are already well versed on introverts, then you probably will not find this book enlightening. However, if you are new to this topic, it could be a good, but brief, introduction.
March 5, 2022
I smiled when I read her books, I am obviously either ready to embrace what I am or I maybe just found the right book describing my kind. And I t didn’t overwhelm my sensitive way of being.
I have read many books about these subjects but this was short, simple and easy to understand.
Of course she mixed in her own opinions as other reviewers have mention and she also stepped into some readers deepest wounds by telling frankly that you could just tell a person ‘I don’t want to talk to you’ or similar.
I have read many books about these subjects but this was short, simple and easy to understand.
Of course she mixed in her own opinions as other reviewers have mention and she also stepped into some readers deepest wounds by telling frankly that you could just tell a person ‘I don’t want to talk to you’ or similar.
September 12, 2025
The whole book, I kep thinking to myself-you know she's quite accurately desribing putting boundaries for people who have autism!? It is an interesting book and one that did help me define how I want to interact with social engagements, but as others have noted it is a bit curt in the way you supposed to set up these boundaries. Often resulting in methods that may be too assertive and liable to give the person needing them more anxiety to put them than is neccessary. If there was a more gentler of doing it though, I'm sure we would have already tried it.
April 21, 2018
The kind of book I've been waiting to come across for years! This book has absolutely nailed every bits and bobs about an introvert and as an Introvert myself, this is currently helping me to deal with what I'm going through. In this huge wide world where everyone tends to view an Introvert as something of a sore eye, this book is the best companion I could ever have had as it understands me better than anybody could have. Thank you for writing this!
September 1, 2019
This book is similar to others written by Isle Sand but I still foudn it helpful to read. I need to be reminded that it's OK to function slightly differently to others and that It's not weird to be so affected by smells or noise. I have foudn that I am now kinder to myself and allow myself more room in my schedule after becomign more aware of my need for it from reading this book and others like it.
November 17, 2017
A useful little manual for introverts/HSP living in an increasingly loud, extroverted world. There are some good tips not only for how to take care of yourself, but also how to let others around you know what you need and how to communicate better with other personality types.
*Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC, provided by the author and/or the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
*Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC, provided by the author and/or the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
July 6, 2019
It’s a simple book to read about introversion and highly sensitive people.
It helps us understand ourselves and other people who have these personality traits.
It provides ways for introverts and highly sensitive people (and the people around them) how to deal with emotions and thoughts that they go through.
It helps us understand ourselves and other people who have these personality traits.
It provides ways for introverts and highly sensitive people (and the people around them) how to deal with emotions and thoughts that they go through.
February 7, 2020
A quick easy to read BOOK, Bare bones basics to understanding introverted and highly sensitive person , gives clarity of understanding and agree from start to finish on day to day struggles of 2 personality traits,which is amazing this book exists and people out there , has tools to implement really useful.
September 7, 2021
I read a couple of books on introversion and highly sensitive individuals (HSPs). There are some really good ones and there are some bad ones. This book fall somewhere in the middle. It does a good job in explaining some concepts but i think it's a little too oversimplified and readers might get confuse and think that introversion and being HSP are interchangeable.
August 31, 2020
Любить себя, быть собой, не стесняться быть интровертом - это не стыдно.
«Господи! Дай мне смирение
Принять то, что я не могу изменить,
Мужество — изменить то,
что я могу изменить;
И мудрость — отличить одно от другого».
«Господи! Дай мне смирение
Принять то, что я не могу изменить,
Мужество — изменить то,
что я могу изменить;
И мудрость — отличить одно от другого».
March 15, 2019
for me not much new information.
September 2, 2022
Любопытно, но поверхностно.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews