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224 pages, Hardcover
Published August 1, 2014
"How was it?" asked Gemma as I squeezed my feet into my roller skates for the third time that day.Precocious Sophie Margaret Catriona Seade (pronounced "seed") insists on being called Sesame and is one unabashed, sassy, impudent 11-year-old. And she's hilarious. Her mom is the Head of Christ's College at Cambridge University and her dad is the college Chaplain. She's completely confident running amok on campus, talking back outrageously, and generally being as disobedient and independent as possible.
"Catastrophic. I bumped into my mum."
Gemma shuddered from head to toe. She's scared of my mum. I used to be scared of my mum too, until I started scaring her back.
"Maman cherie, light of my life, can I go out for a walk?"
"No."
"Papa cheri, fire of my loins, can I go out for a walk?"
"For Heaven's sake, Sophie, where did you get that terrifying expression from? And no, you may not go out for a walk. It's nine o'clock. You should be in bed."
Sophying me around is the best way of getting me to disobey. I was outside in no time at all. My bedroom window is just above a little terrace where the big tree leans on its elbow. I slid down the trunk and landed on a bunch of tulips.
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"The problem with Sophie is that she's a self-obsessed little Narcissus."
"Mummy, my tie has absolutely got to be tied in the right way, or else I might catch Mr. Halitosis's virus when he tells me off."
"Mr. What?"
"Mr. Halitosis. You know, my teacher?"
"Mr. Barnes, you mean?"
"Mother, you are five centuries late. That used to be his name, as in, on the very first day of school, before we noticed what was wrong with him. We called him Mr. Deathbreath for a while, but then Gemma's mum told her bad breath was actually a medical condition called halitosis. So to be more respectful and accurate, we now call him Mr. Halitosis."
"You've been in front of that mirror for eighteen minutes."
"And it's worked wonders. The tie is perfectly tied. You may call for my carriage."