The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD

by Alexander L. Chapman, Kim L. Gratz, Perry D. Hoffman (Foreword)

If you or someone you love is struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you need up-to-date, accurate, and accessible information on the problems you’re facing and where you can turn for help. But where do you look? Much of the professional literature on BPD is too technical and confusing to be of much help. And searching the Internet for accurate information can be treacherous, with some sites providing useful information and others giving dangerous advice and misinformation. If you’re living with BPD, this compassionate book offers what you really need: an easy-to-follow road map to guide you through this disorder and its treatment.

This book provides answers to many of the questions you might have about BPD: What is BPD? How long does it last? What other problems co-occur with BPD? Overviews of what we currently know about BPD make up the first section of the book. Later chapters cover several common treatment approaches to BPD: DBT, mentalization-based treatment (MBT), and medication treatments. In the last sections of the book, you’ll learn a range of useful coping skills that can help you manage your emotions, deal with suicidal thoughts, and cope with some of the most distressing symptoms of BPD.

This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Health, Audiobook

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 12, 2007

Reviews

[Suz · Rating 4 out of 5]

My intial copy was borrowed, and not returned. Must be an ok book then?!

This is a good reference book in many ways. Helpful for the diagnosed and the families. It is an easy to pick up and put down guide, and this is always helpful when the topic is heavy.

Very clear plain English, which is perfect for the content. The chapters are laid out in such a way that explains what will be covered, then finalising with a summary of that chapter. This is not technical and does not aspire to be, which I think is very important as it can empower those with spectrums of these type of illnesses to be empowered, and this is very important.

Like any non fiction, you can take what you like and leave the rest, and use the information that suits your needs - or not.

Incorporating ideas about how to find help, CBT, DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and the amazing Marsha Linehan) and treatment options. This is a helpful and very easy to read book that is useful, where help is so often needed in this regard as BPD is very a misunderstood illness, it is known as a difficult one to treat and I have even heard doctors say the profession still is learning in this area and has a long way to go.

Hopefully this book will help those who get the chance to give it a shot.

[TJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Surprisingly good and useful for a self-help book and seemed to be way more compassionate than all the other books on BPD at the library. This one made sure to stress that you're not a manipulate awful person to be avoided at all costs if you have BPD, while a lot of other books seem to kind of (subtly or not so subtly) work through that as a given framework.

But shit got weird went the authors tried to approach suicide and they actually at multiple points, really bizarrely used 'no one really knows what happens when you die, for all you know you might kill yourself and end up in hell for eternity!' as a reason for people with BPD to not kill themselves, along with a bunch of other guilt-based bullshit

[ياسمين Thabet · Rating 4 out of 5]

لاني اعاني من هذا الاضطراب اشتريت الكتاب من موقع اسفار لكي يساعدني اكتر علي فهم مشكلتي وكيغية التعامل معها فانا لم اكن شخصية صعبة كما كنت اظن بل انا فالواقع كنت اعاني والحمد لله تعالجت بالعلاج الجدلي السلوكي واصبحت مسيطرة بشكل كامل علي نفسي

الحدية اضطراب عاطفي اذا كنت تحمل الحدية فانت غالبا تتصارع مع عواطفك كثيرا من الاوقات ربما تكون لديك مشاعر قوية تتمني الا تكون لديك او ربما لايمكنك تجمل مشاعرك تحاول تجنبها او تتصرف بطرق تؤذي بها نفسك في محاولة للتخلص منها واحدة من اهم خطوات التعافي تتضمن تعلم كيفية ادارة عواطفك

يتحظث الكتاب في فصوله الاثني عشر عن ماهية الاضطراب والفرق بينه وبين الاضطرابات الاخري واعراضه الا وهي
محاولات محمومة لتجنب الهجر
علاقات شخصية متقلبة المتصفة بالتناوب بين شدة المثالية والانحطاط
تشوش الهوية بشكل مستمر وعدم استقرار صورة الذات
التهور
سلوكيات ايذاء النفس، والانتحار وتهديدات
تقلب مؤثر ملحوظ للمزاج
غضب حاد غير لائق
قلق عام مرتبط بجنون الارتياب او اعراض فصامية


كما يتحدث الكتاب عن الخرافات السائدة عن الاضطراب. مثلا ان صاحبه يبحث عن الاهتمام او انه مرض غير قابل للعلاج او ان الحدية خاصة فقط بالنساء

يتحدث ايضا عن امكانية تناقل المرض وراثيا وتاثير البيئة والتنشئة علي الاضطراب والمشاكل والامراض التي غالبا ما ترافق هذا الاضطراب

يتناول الكتاب كيفية العلاج وماهية العللج وكيفية الحصول علي مساعدة والعلاج الدوائي والعللج الجدلي السلوكي وتفاصيل كثيرة خاصة بهذا الموضوع

هو حقا كتاب رائع افادني جدا في التواصل مع ذاتي وانصح بقراؤته لكل من يعاني هذا الاضطراب او لديه احد في دائرة معارفه يعاني منه

[طارق سيد · Rating 4 out of 5]

كتاب مهم ،يسبر اغوار النفس البشرية و يحلل اضراب الشخصية الحدية من كل الجهات، من اول التشخيص حتي العلاج.
#كوكب_الكتب
#العراف

https://youtu.be/wUpJ-P2ZDQg

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book explained BPD and even explained a bit about Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the treatment of choice for Borderline Personality Disorder. It's the treatment that helped me recover. I like how, included in each chapter, were examples of what it's like living with BPD. There are even some great exercises to try to help you cope with your emotions.

[Josiah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written by two of the experts at the forefront of research on BPD, this book is written for the average person who has questions about Borderline Personality Disorder.

Contents: What is BPD? BPD: Is what they say really true? What causes BPD? Will I have BPD forever? The course of BPD. Problems that often go along with BPD. Suicidal behavior and deliberate self-harm. How do I find help for BPD? Dialectical behavior therapy. Mentalization-based treatment. Dealing with suicidal thoughts. Coping with your emotions.

Especially convenient are the tables for diagnostic symptoms (pg 18), common myths (pg 39), different types of self-harm (pg 98), reasons for self-harm and what to do (pg 111), questions to ask a mental health treatment provider (pg 130), questions to ask about medication (pg 189-190), pros & cons of medication (pg 192), symptom monitoring log (pg 195),

As they say several times in the book, no one can self-diagnose this problem. You MUST see a professional psychologist, psychiatrist, or mental health therapist!

Writing: B
Vocabulary: B
Level: Intermediate
Rating: PG13 (mental health issues, suicide, anger, abandonement)

[Ash Gamble · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compassionate and neutral. They didn’t villianize bpd. Some of this info is probably old but I appreciated getting some information and learning a bit more.

[abrightwoman · Rating 5 out of 5]

ما كان من الصعب بالنسبة لي اني اقرا كتاب يتكلم عن مشكله اعاني منها حبيت جداً هذا الكتاب لانه بسيط و دقيق و مرتب كوني اعاني من هذي المشكلة حبيت هذا الكتاب اللي يعرفني على المشكله اللي عاني منها وفي طيات هذا الكتاب كلام جداً محترم للي يعانون من اضطراب الشخصية الحدية ولا يوصمهم بالعار ولا بالأشمئزاز حبيت جداً اعتبر هذا الكتاب مذكره تعريف للحدية و فعلاً اعتبره دليل للبقاء

[May Ling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: It's oriented more toward BPD people who cause self-harm or have truly self-destructive behaviors. There are other books that address the full spectrum. Still, there are some helpful tips enough that I would throw it in the mix if you're dealing with a BPD person.

Read this on hoopla and don't quite have my settings correct for page numbers. Here they are:
225 pages left - "The powerful emotions and sensitivity of people with BPD can be exciting and intense. People with BPD can be dramatic and charismatic, and they are often quite caring and understanding. Nevertheless, caring for someone with BPD is like trying to hold onto the sun: the emotional intensity of a person with BPD can singe and char relationships."

218 pages left - They go through the idea that there are clinical disorders and personality disorders. Most people think of crazy as the former. The latter, though is also something to be addressed. It has to do with the way people act, regulate their emotions, etc.

215 pages left (why isn't this definition sooner, IMO) - "BPD is a disorder of instability and problems with emotions. People with BPD are unstable in their emotions, their thinking, their relationships, their identity, and their behavior." It goes on from there with why that might be.

I have no idea how they think this is only 1-2% of the population. I think this may be higher among those that do not seek help. I'd like to see more thorough studies done on populational cross sections.

213 pages left - there's a checklist of the traits. This is similar to what you'd find online.

201 left - They talk about the idea that BPD are thought to be manipulative, but in fact, it's just them reacting to what has worked. When they exhibit extreme behaviors, they get a reaction. They may not be thinking through the reaction and how self-harm is bad or hurting others is not ok.

200 left - They are not at risk of hurting others, even if portrayed this way. [Ok... this one, I why I docked a star. If you think the emotional damage that BPD does to loved ones is not a form of hurt, then we've got to agree to dissagree]

197 left - BPD is not hereditary. The next few pages talk about risk factors. They then say a few pages after: "...the family members of people with BPD work incredibly hard to help that person in anyway they can. These families are doing the best they can to help a loved one who just happened to be born more sensitive and emotional than some other people."
I love and hate this. There is a different book I'd recommend if you are a child with BPD. B/c the issue here is that by definition a BPD person during an episode is typically denying a child's reality. And one of the major things they do in this case is to make you feel guilty that it is your job to parent them. so this whole being sensitive b/c they are emotional is great! Helping families and being there for loved ones is important. But there is a form of self-harm children of BPD do that last a lifetime and permeates into bad relationships due to lack of boundaries. This book doesn't address that.

194-3 left - They talk about the bias to attribute BPD to women. That's not true.

190 left - tests with twins demonstrate the idea that it might be hereditary vs. nurture.

187 left - describe lower dopamene levels related to the DD4 gene. It relates to mood and pleasure. (actually it relates to a lot more than that, but whatevs)
The talk on hormones continues on the next few pages in a way that makes me think there has been little work done in the right way. I mean, all these hormones are also related to exercise, sleep, etc. I would have liked to see a more thorough discussion here. At any rate

185 left - "If you have BPD, you probably experience intense emotions that sometimes change quite rapidly and at other times stick around for an agonizingly long time. You may have trouble bringing yourself down once you feel a strong emotion. So it's probably not surprising that researchers have found differences in the amygdalas of people with BPD..."

BPD and PTSD people both have a smaller hippocampus.

183 left - reaction to minor stressors set you off beyond normal. There is an exaggerated cortisol response for BPD people.

181 left - childhood mistreatment might be a part of it.

179 left - he doesn't believe it's a kind of PTSD

177 left - problems with attachment due parenting

160 left - "The other point we want to make is that some people are simply born more emotionally intense than others. They feel things more strongly and experience their emotions more intensely. This is just hte way they are, a part of their personality. And because it is a part of their personality, this is probably not going to change."

135 left - he goes into suicidal behaviors.
133 left - he goes into the idea that BPD people are not manipulative so much as they are reacting to the pattern of how people react to their extremely behaviors (in this context self-harm).

124 left - "People with BPD often struggle with major relationship problems and conflicts. They also have difficulty being assertive or skillfully asking others for what they want." Again, he's in the context of self-harm.

115 left - he talks about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as a means of treatment.

101/95 left He talks about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (talking it out) This helps BPD accept themselves and their actions.

99--98 There are 3 items he lists: Emotional Sensitivity, Emotional Reactivity, Slow return to Emotional Baseline - This is what BPD people struggle with. They then talk about the invalidating environment.

88 left - emotional regulation skills consists of: Managing your emotions effectively, Observing or accepting your emotions, Chaging (increasing or decreasing) your emotional experience, Making yourself less vulnerable to emotions by increasing pleasant events in your life, taking care of yourself, and meeting your physical/emotional needs

Distress Tolerence Skills - Wow... didn't know this was a thing. Very cool.

82 left - Mentalization Based Treatment - this is developed to improve a sense of self. Helps you understand the connection between your mental states and your behaviors. Also helps you understand that mental states are separate from behavior.

77 left - The idea is that as a child you should talk kids through their emotions so they can learn to mentalize correctly. If they are sad, have them talk through. this helps them to put a name on their feelings and then think about actions and behaviors separately.
76 left - if you mis-mirror emotions for a child it's super confusing and can also be bad.
Then he says that BPD people often have problems with this.

32 left - "Being a very emotional person is not hte problem, though. The problem is the way in which some people with BPD cope with their emotions."

If you are a person with BPD, this is a great book for you. It doesn't go too hard and is pretty compassionate. If you are doing with someone dealing with a BPD personality, I think the major issue with this book is given it's softness, it does not do enough to speak to the idea that NONE of these behaviors are OK and you are essentially choosing to tolerate them. Like it is NOT ok for BPD person to do a series of things to others b/c they lack emotional control. They need to seek help. If they don't, then you are simply embedding in the behavior.

My issue is given the personalities I have met with BPD, I can't see them reading this book and seeking help unless they are all the way to 10 suicidal. The stuff in between though is pretty painful to thier lives and those of others. I think there are others that might be better. You really should only read this book if you are a person dealing with BPD if you have the emotional strength to actually help such a person. If you're a victim, spouse, or child, this book is a starting place, but just realize that you are not the intended audience at all.

[anno · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found out about BPD years ago, so there was a lot of familiar information here, but I wish someone had given me this when I was diagnosed. It's written with a very understanding voice, and succinctly covers a lot of important areas at once. Only real criticism is the usual US-centricism, when it comes to getting help.

[Zach · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was very informational, but I think this book was intended for someone with BPD rather than what I was looking for.

It was very repetitive at times, and it used very weird and unnecessary metaphors at times. Also, the intro went on forever and told me how interesting the book was going to be while the rest of the book proved otherwise.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an okay book, good for people who need an overview. I found the parts about DBT and Marsha Linehan especially helpful. :)

[Debbi Barton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for work purposes. It's target audience is for those with BPD and their carers.

My 2 takeaways from this were learning about MBT and how to prevent suicide attempts.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the superior BPD book.

[إيمان الحراكي]

كتاب اضطراب الشخصية الحدية : د.ألكيسندر ل شابمان -د.كيم ل كراتز
ترجمة : الجميلة لبابة مناف اللحام
٢٧٥ صفحة ورقي
دار الفكر - مكتبة مداد ☘️
الكتاب مقسم الى قسمين فيهما ١٢ فصل في نهاية كل فصل خلاصة تساعد على استرجاع المعلومات والتركيز عليها ، كما هناك أمثلة وجداول للتوضيح
- الكتاب غني بالمعلومات بأسلوب سلس وواضح
- اللهم شفاء لكل مريض ، من لديه اضطراب نفسي لايعاني وحده بل يعاني كل من حوله وخاصة محبيه
- إن مفتاح تقدم الأمراض نحو علاجها ، طبية كانت
أم نفسية ، هو نشر المعلومات .
- لا يمكنك تشخيص نفسك ...لابد أن تزور مختصا ، لانه لاشك أنك لاتملك الأدوات أو المهارات أو النظرة الموضوعية الضرورية للقيام بالتشخيص
- الحدية هي عدم الاستقرار ......والخروج عن السيطرة في عدة مجالات في الحياة
- الحدية اضطراب عاطفي
- فوضى المشاعر ، قلق ، صعوبة تحكم بالغضب ، سلوكيات انتحار ، الاندفاع ، صعوبة تنظيم الهوية والذات وغيرها أعراض للحدية
- امكانية التعافي بتقديم اساليب العلاج الصحيحة
- هل تورث الحدية؟
- الجينات ، الدماغ ، الشخصية ، وتجارب الحياة ، البيئة ، التربية قد تسبب اضطراب الشخصية الحدية
- هناك عوامل تسىرع العلاج واخرى تعيقه
- أسباب الانتحار أو ايذاء الذات
قد يحاول البعض الانتحار من أجل جعل الآخرين أفضل حالا !!!
- اللجوء للايذاء المتعمد لايصال رسالة ما للأخرين
- العلاج السلوكي الجدلي هدفه وجود حياة تستحق العيش ووقف السلوك الانتحاري
- العلاج المعتمد على التعقل هو علاج تحليل نفسي لمساعدة المراجعين على فهم أن سلوكيات كل فرد تنبع من بعض الخبرات الداخلية او ترتبط بها
- العلاج الدوائي يساعد في بعض المشاكل لكن لا يؤدي إلى الشفاء التام، كما أن لكل دواء اثار جانبية يجب الفكير بها قبل ان تقرر أخذ الدواء
- تعلم مايمكن قبوله ومايمكن تغييره يساعد جدا في العلاج
- أفضل طريقة للتعامل مع مشاعرك عندما تكون منزعجا هو تركيز انتباهك على شيء آخر
- استخدم خيالك 👍 ، استمع للموسيقا ..........، قم بماتحبه للتخفيف من معاناتك

[Kristin Kvetensky · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this book had helpful information on coping with BPD, as well as its roots. However, I was appalled when I read about how the authors believe that people with BPD are not manipulative because they have good intentions. I have BPD, and I have negatively impacted myself and others by lacking accountability in the past. It wasn’t until a therapist called me out on manipulating my loved ones that I realized I was hurting people. This cycle of manipulation lead me to feeling depressed, angry, and alone. When my therapist called me out, I was stunned and hurt and felt betrayed, but after taking time to process what she said I realized she was right, and I was wrong. I never once had bad intentions. I never once intended to manipulate my loved ones. But guess what? I still hurt them. I still manipulated them. Just because I had good intentions does NOT make it okay to manipulate and I had to learn to take accountability, apologize, and move on. Any professional who is knowledgeable about BPD will tell you that you have to learn how to take accountability. If they don’t, they’re enabling the person with BPD to continue an unhealthy, abusive cycle.

[Charlotte · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quick read and did provide new information but I feel like they spent so much time trying not to be offensive that it got bizarre. Like in the beginning they said something about how western culture judges people with BPD especially etc, my mom is an immigrant not from the west and I assure you, the cultural difference isn’t conducive to sympathy for people with BPD. Also they said something like you don’t need to have trauma to have BPD and that feels really wrong. They went so far as to say that MOST people didn’t have traumatic childhoods or abusive caregivers who have BPD. I haven’t met a single person with BPD who had a dandy childhood but ok. How can you make a statement like that about a personality disorder so rooted in trauma that there’s a hot debate in the field about whether or not BPD and CPTSD are inextricably linked?

[Wala'a · Rating 4 out of 5]

الإضرابات النفسية معقدة ومخيفة للناس التي لاتمتلك ادنى فكرة عنها و قد نعتقد أن الأمراض النفسية خاصة بمن يعيش في المشافي النفسية
لكن الموضوع أكبر بكثير تلك الاضطرابات قد يعاني منها أشخاص نحبهم و يشكلون جزء مهم في حياتنا تخيل أن شريك حياتك والدك أمك طفلك يعاني او حتى انت يعاني من احد تلك الاضطرابات … سيكون ذالك مؤلم طبعا لكنه اكثر اسلاما لمن يعانيه و لا يعرف ادنى طريقة للتحكم به او معالجته هنا تكون الطامة الكبرى …
أول طريق للعلاج هو تشخيص المرض
و الخطوة الثانية و الاهم هو تقبل فكرة المرض النفسي و اعتباره كسائر الامراض
لا على أنه وسمة عار …

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very broad and generic overview, but enormously beneficial for those not well-versed in the lingo and new to the world of BPD.
That said, some of the examples became so simple it was like being talked down to. Other examples seemed to fold back in on themselves until they became overdrawn and forgetful.
Putting the weakness aside, this was still a very helpful starting point.

[Chris Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really helped me understand a loved one recently diagnosed with BPD and how to support him. Very insightful into treatments & medication in a way the lay person can understand. I also liked it because unlike other books I’ve read did not put the blame on the person with BPD but explained reasons why the person may have developed this mental illness.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of all the books I've read since my BPD diagnosis, by far the most helpful. Much, much better than "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" for me.

[Alyssa Klas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful overview of the disorder with a focus on therapeutic interventions

[Mal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Real rating 4.5 stars.

This was a very informative book. It made a point to talk about how bpd is an illness, and the person who has it is not at fault just for having it. It also did a great job on explaining why people become suicidal and why the term “cry for attention” is a bad term. Beyond that, it did a good job explaining why bpd could come into being.

I wish I’d had this book several years ago. I think it would have been a good resource to have when I was still unsure of my symptoms. As it is now, it’s not super helpful (although the explanation for why bpd happens was incredibly helpful) but it could be to someone else struggling out there.

I knocked off half a star for some boring writing and also some annoying anti self-dx stuff.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

So helpful!

I've struggled with BPD for YEARS, and I finally felt understood in this book. I felt like it was an accurate description of what I feel and experience. Not only did it walk me through what BPD is, but it also taught me valuable coping mechanisms and taught me about ways to deal with BPD. It gave me some hope. Absolutely recommend for anyone with BPD, or anyone who has a loved one with BPD.

[Anita · Rating 2 out of 5]

i read this book to fulfil the goal read a book written by two authors. i have read better guides as far as explaining what borderline personality is. however this book is the first one that included stratagies for getting better that went beyond traditional therapy or medication. a little heavy on suside prevention, but considering the target audience may be appropriate.

[Omar AbdulRahman · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب متكامل، لا يترك تفصيلة عن اضطراب الشخصية الحدية (Borderline Personality Disorder) إلا ويتحدث عنه ويشرحه.
مناسب لأي شخص تم تشخيصه بالاضطراب، ولكل من يعرف شخصًا تم تشخيصه بهذا الاضطراب ويود أن يعلم المزيد عن هذا المرض وكيف يشعر المريض به.
أنصح به في هاتين الحالتين فقط (أو إذا كان هذا تخصص دراستك بالطبع)، عدا ذلك لا أشعر أنه سيكون الأكثر فائدة لكونه متخصصًا في مرض واحد فقط دونا عن غيره.

[Jenna · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is truly written just for someone who is just learning what BPD is and that they might have it. It is painstakingly gentle. Not for someone who is already familiar with the disorder or folks who have it. I did find the description of what exactly happens in DBT and other therapies informative, though.

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like how this book explains BPD in layman's terms especially the analogy used in the neurotransmitters which helped paint a picture of what may be happening in the brain of someone with BPD. The techniques described in the last part of the book will also be helpful not just for those with BPD but also those experiencing other disorders. An informative and maybe life changing read.

[Eliza Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful, and the first resource I have come across in my healing journey so far that makes me feel it was written for those suffering with BPD symptoms, rather than how to deal with someone else living with BPD.

[Meteorite_cufflink · Rating 3 out of 5]

A concise overview of the medical/diagnostic history of BDP, insight on the factors that contribute in people developing the disorder and in-depth information on DBT en MBT, two forms of treatment. Would've been four stars if the book had been updated recently, which it hadn't.