Running With Angels

by Pamela H. Hansen

The inspiring journey of a woman who turned personal tragedy into triumph over obesity On a beautiful April morning in 2001, Pamela Hansen decided to do something she hadn’t done for a very long time. She decided to walk. Fearful that she would not be able to take more than a few steps with her morbidly obese body, she was desperate to focus her attention on something other than the tragedies of her life – the death of an infant daughter, the cruel and debilitating autoimmune diseases that had attacked two other children, and finally the stillbirth of a son just a few weeks earlier. The first walk, which lasted just 10 minutes, was the beginning of an amazing journey that ultimately led to a 100-pound weight loss (without surgery or pills) and the fulfillment of her dream to run a marathon. In Running with Angels, Pam shares both her struggles and her success, using the marathon race as a metaphor for facing life’s challenges. She candidly discusses the pain of living with obesity and the hopelessness that accompanies it. More important, she offers practical suggestions for anyone trying to reach a goal, particularly a goal of weight loss, and shows how small steps over time can help you realize your dreams.

Genres: Nonfiction, Inspirational, Self Help, Memoir, Book Club, Lds, Biography

211 pages, Paperback

First published April 30, 2005

Reviews

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was hoping for more about her running training, but that part was very skimmed over. I found her children's challenges (two babies die, two are diagnosed with chronic diseases) the strongest part of the book and heart-breaking. It was easy to see how eating became her coping mechanism for dealing with tragedy.

I was surprised at how much self-loathing Pam had at herself, at her body. She imagined everyone was judging her by her size everywhere she went and was constantly ashamed because of it. It made me wonder if that was unique to Pam or if many others who are overweight feel that same self-consciousness. While I am sure there are some who judge by someone's size, I think most people are too worried about their own problems to be watching out for strangers they can despise. The fear of what others might think even kept Pam from walking with friends and other regular activities. The first time she ran, she did it in secret so that no one would see her jiggle. That, to me, was more tragic than being overweight.

I was also intrigued by Pam's addiction to food and how it affected her.

This book gave me a lot to think about, and certainly Pam is inspirational -- losing weight is hard work, and she not only lost 100 lbs, she also went on to run a marathon. Good for her!

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm doing Weight Watchers again, this time on my own, and picked up this motivational memoir to help get me going. I love this woman! I want to meet her!

[Sheri · Rating 3 out of 5]

I decided to read this book after having the wonderful opportunity to participate in the Running With Angels 5k, held every spring at Thanksgiving Point. It is a beautiful race in every way. Not only is the scenery breathtaking, but the race is a chance for family and friends to honor the sweet children who have left this earth too soon. It's such a powerful feeling, standing around hundreds of people sporting t-shirts, ribbons, and other mementos of these beautiful angels. It truly brought tears to my eyes. So you can see how one would long to read the story behind such a touching event.

I was truly touched by this woman's story. I ached while reading about her profound sense of loss and hopelessness; with the death of her babies, with the health of her children, and with her struggle with obesity. As a whole, her story is beautiful and tragic. I could strongly relate to her state of mind when it came to food. I repeatedly found myself nodding and thinking, Yes! I know just what you mean! My lower rating comes strictly because I think this book could have been much shorter. There is a lot of repetitiveness when it comes to her expressing her sensitivity and emotional state during her obese years, and also with her weight loss attempts. It sometimes made for a long, redundant read. However, it was still definitely worth a read. I came away feeling inspired to try harder in my own life to achieve my goals; weight loss, and otherwise.

[Beth Pearson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up at a yard sale cause I remember reading about this woman and her story in the local newspaper several years ago when she sponsored a race and had her book released. I took my time reading it, but stayed interested in the story the whole time as she flashed back & forth from the modern day of running a marathon and the year-before story of being too fat to even run.

I could relate to many of her feelings and experiences with being fat and I thought she hit a lot of things dead on. However, I thought it was sad at how much her "fatness" kept her from enjoying her life. She was paranoid and felt her obesity dictated that others treat her bad. Her day to day activities were all overshadowed by being fat and her own self-loathing.

I can relate to her unhappiness with her weight (while continuing to eat candy, etc.) and the overwhelming thought of having so much to lose, but I couldn't fathom allowing that "flaw" to take over her life. Maybe that is why she finally got skinny and I haven't yet, but I firmly believe that I have good things to offer the world whether I am thin or not. Pam didn't have that belief and I thought that was sad.

[Remurray · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book after participating in the Running With Angels 5k in honor of my daughter who passed away when she was 15 months old. I could relate with so many of the emotions and feelings Pam shared in regards to loosing her babies. While my struggle since the death of my daughter hasn't been obesity, I have lost myself in other ways and reading this book made me feel more motivated to take the necessary steps to find myself again.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an inspiring book. I admire Pamela for sharing her story. I have never lost a child to death, but I am sure there is no other pain like that. To continue on in the face of adversity and then have to face that same trial again.... Thank you Pamela for sharing and inspiring others.

[Shauntell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how this book was written. The story is inspiring and teaches us a great lesson in health. The author recounts her battle with obesity and becoming healthy enough to run a marathon.

[Tanya Wadley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is Pamela Hansen's story of her personal journey overcoming obesity and other life challenges. I found it to be very inspiring and a good read.

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book, though that's not surprising considering I too am preparing to run my first marathon and so it was fun to read her experiences from the day and training, and because I love learning about health and nutrition and stories of people making big changes and staying consistent and diligent over time. I was amazed she'd kept such good journals over the years! It was fun to read. I'm giving it 4 stars because quite a few parts were pretty repetitive, which is totally understandable because going back and reading through my journals I find I do the same thing. I also didn't love reading about all the ways she judged others, judging her. But she's being honest. Here are the notes i took from this book:

We need to be willing to face our trials and find the strength to deal with them effectively. Page 45

"Now I was seeing the positive effect of these almost daily walks. I looked forward to that peaceful time, I could sort out my feelings, work through my grief, even pray, as well as cry many tears." Page 59

I realized that a key to my success in training for this marathon was having an effective plan. (She used "the non runners marathon trainer by whitsett, dolgener, and kole) pg 65

"The importance of thinking through events and anticipating how I would behave in certain situations." Page 74

"I could learn much from observing healthy people, including what they eat." Pg 75

I discovered that each time I fell and got back up again, it made me stronger." Page 75

"It was very rewarding to know that I could occasionally have a break without totally thwarting my efforts.… I felt an inner strength, peace, confidence that I had not known before. The comfort I thought I felt from having leftover Easter treats on my closet shelf had been replaced with the far greater peace and reassurance I now experienced, knowing that I was the master of my situation." 77
"A high level of dedication was required for both. Desire was crucial, and some sort of plan was needed as well." 78


"Strength accompanies the ability to master oneself." 138
"One of the Keys to success is to stay effectively focused. " 139

"I prayed for guidance to formulate a plan that would be right for me, and for the strength to follow it." Page 146

"I had to learn how to change my reward system and realize that the long term compensation of a healthy body was more important to me than the short-lived pleasure derived from emotional eating.… I needed to replace them with better healthier habits.

"Learning what the purpose is gives meaning to our suffering. Often we must travel to the depths of despair before we are prepared for this tutoring." Page 165

"I often hoped I could lose weight, but I also despaired of ever being able to really do it. Looking back, I realize that as long as hopeless and despair were part of my vocabulary and describing what needed to be done, I was not going to be successful. Feeling optimistic about my endeavor and having faith that I could do it, as incredibly difficult as it seemed, was crucial to My success." Page 170

Afterword by her husband:

"Small, seemingly insignificant decisions we make can influence our lives so profoundly." 206

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pamela struggled with the death of 2 infants and debilitating diseases for 2 of her daughters and weight gain as of result of the stresses she experienced. She tried many times to lose weight until she successfully was able to do so by using a program where she was accountable to someone once a week for weight loss. She also began moving more by walking, then running as she had a dream to run a marathon. Along the way, she had many changes of heart and relied on God and her heavenly angels to help her overcome the temptations she faced. This book was not so much about weight and marathon running to me as it was about overcoming the different challenges each of us face. Our challenges might be very different from Pamela's but the principles she discovered and used can help each of us with our challenges. One of my biggest takeaways from this book is the need for consistent focus on the goal or goals we are pursuing. When we lose focus, we can refocus and continue to move forward. Another takeaway is using an accountability partner to keep us accountable. This is a principle others have used with success to accomplish their goals.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! This book has been out for over 10 years and I had heard about it but never read it until my sister was cleaning out her bookshelf and asked if I wanted to read it.

This was a book that my whole heart felt for this author and her family. She told her innermost struggles and trials as she started out her married life and started to have a family. Her story and the health problems of her children was absolutely baffling to me and I could't imagine myself in her shoes.

Her experiences with her weight gain (and subsequent weight loss) was encouraging and insightful and her stories were relatable.

I skimmed over some of the latter part of the book but she offered some great advice. Of course, if I'm fascinated by a book or subject matter, I jump on the internet and research more about it. The author has a blog that is current and she works on an angel project and is still into running.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really got a lot out of this book. Maybe it's because I can relate so much to the author. I don't have quite the tragedies as she has had but the thoughts and feelings of how I feel are quite real and raw. This is a good motivational book and has really got me thinking a lot about my own life and moving to make a difference and NOT giving up on myself.

Thank you Pamela Hansen.

[Ramona · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the story of Pamela Hansen finding strength in running after experiencing devastating losses of 2 children and struggling with 2 other children fighting disease. She also was very overweight at the time and the walk she took one day to escape her thoughts, turned out to be answers to so many challenges she was facing. A beautiful, hope-filled read.

[Angeli Child · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how Pam shared her journey while feeling like I was in the marathon with her, but still remembering the journey. I loved how open and vulnerable she was about her journey to obesity and back out. It is an inspiring story of overcoming difficulties and facing adversity and grief. I lived in her neighborhood for a couple of years and admire her so much!

[Lori · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the first 3rd of the book, but after that I felt like she just kept repeating a lot of the same things. To many stories of how she felt like everyone was judging her for her size. I read a little over half and then didn't feel like putting the time into finishing it.

[Addie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good book to help you see how you can pick up & carry on, seeing life through new eyes.

[Melanie Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly touching. For any who have suffered the loss of a child, suffers depression and weight challenges.

[Wendy Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very inspiring

[Corinne N · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I really admire her courage and wish I had her drive, her editor was awful and I really had a hard time pushing through to the end... Took me a month to finish this.

[Mo Havas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nicely written book. More about weight loss than running. I was expecting a book on running. Her journey has a lot a great lessons for anyone.

[Heidi Mcjunkin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting story about how being morbidly obese effects your life and outlook told as the author was running the Salt Lake City Marathon. I liked it over all but it became very repetive.

[Mari Randall]

I enjoyed this. Read what it’s about and try it if it’s interesting to you!

[Beth Given · Rating 3 out of 5]

I checked out this book on a whim. I’d heard it was not just good but inspiring … and yet in spite of the recommendations, I really didn’t expect that I’d find it inspiring. The premise is an overweight woman (the author — this is nonfiction) who loses weight — a hundred pounds! — and then runs a marathon, inspired by her angel-children in heaven and the support of friends and family. Thankfully (thankfully!) I haven’t faced even a fraction of the challenges that Pam Hansen has had to — and nor have I ever had a desire to run a 5K, let alone a marathon. So what would this book have to offer someone like me?

Well, if nothing else, it was a terrific read. I found her story so interesting and encouraging that I devoured her book in a day. Hansen’s attitude throughout the book refreshing: she was gentle on herself while simultaneously taking responsibility for her actions. By the end, I was really rooting for her. Besides, the author’s husband was Nathan’s teacher at BYU (we discovered that once I was halfway through the book, thanks to a few photos they’d included) and so yeah, I practically know her. LOL

One of the lessons from her book that hit home for me was probably one of her more subtle ones: don’t assume people are judging you. For her, she imagined that every person that saw her was thinking how fat and sloppy she looked — that the dental hygienist who forgot to give her her complimentary toothbrush was somehow doing so in punishment of her obesity. In reality, though, most people really aren’t out to judge others — at least, I don’t think so. And yet I do the same kind of thing a lot in social situations — imagining up people’s internal dialogue, starring moi (well, the worst version of myself, actually). Hansen notes, however, that “wondering if people are judging us unfairly can be a waste of time and energy” (p. 97). And it really is!

There were plenty other great tips in this book for anyone seeking to improve their life and especially for those wanting to live a healthier lifestyle … and it turns out I *did* find it inspiring.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was enjoyable, though not the best written. I can echo other people's thoughts when I say I noticed how much she repeated herself. Certain phrases were used a lot, but it was also nice to read as if it were your friend writing it. Nothing fancy. It is endearing to me to read her marathon moments. I loved the support she felt from her husband and the strength they were to each other. I, too, cried when my husband and I crossed our finish line holding hands. Such a monumental thing to do together!

Ok, so here is where I get honest. I had a hard time connecting with her personal struggle. Any mother, or anyone with a heart, would feel for this woman and the trials she had to face, regarding her children. Made me cry several times. But about her struggle with weight... I am one of those people she mentioned. The ones who would look at her and say "why don't you just do it?" I have a hard time when people talk and talk and talk about something they so badly want to achieve or change, but aren't putting forth any effort to get there. And I know I have my own personal struggles, things I have to work at every single day. Lest I sound absolutely mean, I get that this was a COMPLETE overhaul on this woman's spirit. Nothing short of a miracle had to take place in this woman's heart in order for her to love herself enough to change. In general, this is kind of an irritating subject for me because I can't do anything for anyone. I can support, encourage and listen, but I can't go out and run 5 miles for you and make you feel better and live longer. Reminds me of a situation with an old friend and it just breaks my heart.

Anyway, my favorite part was in the Afterword, written by her husband. This can be said for any struggle a person can face and it is very true for me. The process (of change) "occurred a day, an hour, a minute, even a decision at a time". Love that. Our own personal journey towards our Divine potential is just that, one decision at a time.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an incredible story - for the story, I give it 5 stars! But she is not a writer, and often repeated herself - the general organization of the book was distracting. I felt like I was reading the same exact sentence throughout the entire book. Having said that, I thoroughly enjoyed the story that she had to tell - what an amazingly motivational book! This book is for everyone. Obese, overweight, or skinny as a rail. She speaks so candidly - it seems that she held nothing back in telling her story...her feelings, her real-life experiences, the good and the bad. This book provided insight into a world I have never considered for very long. It gave me a whole new perspective on obese people - what they go through, how they feel, and yet, how they still don't seem to do much about it. She speaks freely of her disgust with herself, of her countless tears shed, of her extremely low self esteem, and how it still didn't make her eat less or exercise more. It was an eye opener to say the least. On a sidenote, it has sparked the desire in me to someday run a marathon. I have always thought it would be a cool thing to do, since I started enjoying running in high school. I think I will wait a few years til I can leave kids home alone while I go running - I tried running every morning a couple years ago, and it worked out great til Alan left town for 2 weeks and I was stuck without being able to leave the house while the kids were asleep! Although now is not the season in my life to train for a marathon, reading of her experience makes me want to do it even more! Will someone please hold me to that, in, say, about 5 years please? Thanks!

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. A fat lady loses weight and runs marathon! That means, normal sized Abby can lose 10 lbs and run a marathon, too! WHOO HOO!

Really, such a good book. It's one of those perspective changers. A thought provoking look inside the head of someone else. A real paradigm shifter.

The author gained a significant amount of weight over about a 12 year (I think) period, amidst several personal tragedies. (One child was stillborn, another lived only briefly, and two other children were diagnosed with chronic illnesses.) I have never been significantly overweight, so seeing everything through the eyes of an obese person altered my thinking about heavy people permanently. While many of us have weaknesses (alcohol, drugs, too many hours spent surfing books on goodreads.com), none are so obvious as someone who overeats. As soon as they walk in the room, everyone knows about their problem. And although I don't overeat enough to become obese, I TOTALLY know what she is talking about when you're just eating for no reason, and wondering why, knowing that you want to lose weight, and you're not hungry, and yet you are still eating! I do that all the time. Oh look, I'm doing it right now as I type. :-)

Also, I love "The Biggest Loser". I just watched the second half of this season for the first time ever. Awesome show! Both that and this book are about fat people losing weight and being truly awesome. That's why I love them.

You should read this book.

[Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although I must admit I've never had a serious weight problem, still I have struggled in the last few years to lose the spreading tummy bulge that comes as a result of many years and many children. I find I have little motivation to exercise and a love of snacking.

So I can empathize somewhat with the problems Pam had when she had to confront the fact that she weighed over a hundred pounds more than when she got married. And I can surely feel her pain at the death of two of her babies at birth.

However, this book seemed like it might have made a better short story. 90% of the book is taken up with stories of embarrassing moments concerning her weight. It did make me realize that I have been unsympathetic towards people struggling with overweight, but for me getting through the book was also a bit of a struggle. I'm happy and proud that Pam finally found a system that worked for her to lose the weight and adopt a permanent lifestyle of healthy eating and exercise, but mostly it seemed like the same thing over and over. Perhaps people with serious weight problems will love it and be able to take her words to heart and find the help they crave.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I realized when I picked this book up that I had heard the title of the book alot but never anyone's specific opinion on the book. I read it in hopes of being able to use it in a book column I write but quickly decided against it. While this woman has a very interesting and potentially motivating story to tell, I feel like she spends way, way, way too much of the book recounting all the horrible things that happened to her before she lost the weight. She kept a pretty good journal throughout the whole experience but it means you get every story about what people said, did, how they treated her, what her children said, etc. It was a real downer and depressing instead of being motivating and uplifting. I wish she had focused more on her process and success and less on all the negative. There are a couple of chapters that had some interesting, positive things but ever chapter also has all the anecdotes of the depressing stuff. I have to admit I was really disappointed in the approach she took in telling her story.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful and motivating read that touched me personally on many levels. Pamela Hansen is a wonderful example of the power of prayer, family support, and the human spirit. Although the story relates her experiences in overcoming obesity, the insights she shares are valuable to anyone facing challenges, addictions, or physical limitations.

The book isn't perfectly constructed - as to be expected of a first-time writer sharing an emotional experience - but it was fascinating to follow the way she layered her experiences: stepping out of chronological order, to emphasize the symbolism of running a marathon.

Mothers who read this book should know in advance that she shares the very personal struggles of losing a child within hours after birth and having another child still-born, as well as multiple severe health challenges in two other daughters. That part of the story was hard for me to push through, even without yet having children of my own. It is, however, well worth the effort to read.

[Regina]

I really liked this book, it was about filling your own well before trying to fill others. It wasn't brilliant writing, but that was never the point. It reads like a blog, straight from the heart and not fancy. I love the marathon analogy and that is what this book is. It almost persuaded me to want to run a marathon, but not quite.

What triggered her to lose 105 pounds? It was an event during the stillbirth of her seventh child. She had hated her body for 13 years, but when her body clung to the placenta, fighting like mad to retain that last link to the lost child, it was like she empathized with an enemy for the first time. It was the tiniest sliver of acceptance, but the sure beginning of loving her body and the weightloss then fell into place.

How did she lose 105 lbs? Weight Watchers plus 45 minute daily walks on a track or treadmill. Did she occasionally backslide? Of course, but she overcame. If you want encouragement to get your priorities straight or achieve a lofty goal, I think you would enjoy this book.