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Ava: My Story

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Hardcover Edition of Ava Gardner's own story with no hold barred. Like a novel but Ava really lived it.

In this chatty autobiography, Gardner tells of her upbringing in a poor but proud Southern family, her sudden success in early-'40s Hollywood--mainly because of her beauty--and rails against MGM, which played up her cheesecake potential. She neatly sums up the problems in each of her three short marriages: Mickey Rooney was a blatant womanizer; Artie Shaw was cool and overbearing; Frank Sinatra (the two were the loves of each other's lives) was as jealous as she, leading to drunken marathon fights. Gardner also sketches a creepy portrait of Howard Hughes, who for years stopped at no machination in an unsuccessful attempt to bed and marry her. A shy woman who used drink to feel comfortable socially, Gardner seems very likable, down-home, spontaneous and sadly derogatory toward her intelligence, acting abilities--and even her beauty. Of the seven included "eulogies" from friends and colleagues, Stephen Birmingham's best captures the joy and tragedy of Gardner's life.

315 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1990

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About the author

Ava Gardner

10 books39 followers
Ava Lavinia Gardner was an American actress.

She was signed to a contract by MGM Studios in 1941 and appeared mainly in small roles until she drew attention with her performance in The Killers (1946). She became one of Hollywood's leading actresses, considered one of the most beautiful women of her day. She was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress for her work in Mogambo (1953).

She appeared in several high-profile films from the 1950s to 1970s, including The Hucksters (1947), Show Boat (1951), The Snows of Kilimanjaro (1952), The Barefoot Contessa (1954), Bhowani Junction (1956), On the Beach (1959), Seven Days in May (1964), The Night of the Iguana (1964), The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972), Earthquake (1974), and The Cassandra Crossing (1976). Gardner continued to act regularly until 1986, four years before her death from pneumonia, at age 67, in 1990.

She is listed 25th among the American Film Institute's Greatest female stars.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
Profile Image for Baba.
4,019 reviews1,468 followers
July 31, 2021
The amazing, and sometimes sadly indicative of the times (re: how society treat women) mostly autobiographical tale of one of the greats ...Ava Gardner... when Hollywood stars, were truly stars. She covers her entire life from childhood through to her famous marriages. She's also pretty frank about those, including a certain studio that done wrong by her. The conversational style of the narrative works quite well too. 6 out of 12.

A Hollywood great!
Profile Image for Lisa.
111 reviews
September 30, 2024
I love it when an autobiography feels like you’re sitting with the author and having a cosy chat over a nice cup of tea. Ava Gardner’s story was one for the ages - she is self deprecating, brutally honest and describes her early life, loves - including her marriage to Frank Sinatra and movie career in glittering detail. I loved it when she would address the reader as ‘Honey’ or ‘Darling’ - it made it feel like she was just there telling me all about her experiences. Ava was a victim of physical abuse from a number of men including George C Scott, and Howard Hughes, which almost killed her, and yet she kept her dry sense of humour and empathy for what these men were going through.. which is much more than I would afford these abusers. I wish I could have met just to tell her she was amazing. This is a 5 star read and I hope Ava is resting in peace, the peace that she thoroughly deserved in her life.
33 reviews
March 17, 2010
I loved this book! I actually picked it up because I knew nothing about Ava Gardner, except that she was a film star/sex symbol, and I wanted to find out who she really was. I'm so glad I did! Ava was so funny, endearing, and genuine in her thoughts and actions. This book has it all! I laughed out loud at her stories from childhood on up-it's amazing how cinematic her real life actually was! There were sad and touching moments too and I found her to be relatable in a lot of ways. When she first arrived in Hollywood as an extra, the picture she painted of her view of the studio was so down to earth that it seemed like she could have been practically any country girl and at any Hollywood-esque time (including now). I was intrigued by how she dealt/coped with terrifying and dangerous situations. Wow! I also loved how loyal she was to her husbands and was so impressed with her refusal to give in to Howard Hughes' offerings of anything she wanted in the world, since she didn't love him (the icing on the cake were the little lines at the end of those sentences, something like.. "I would do it all over again... I think"). :) I smiled most of the way through and could hardly put this book down! I definitely recommend it!
44 reviews2 followers
November 13, 2015
Ava wrote her autobiography by dictating it to her secretary on a tape-recorder. As a result, the book has a very conversational style; it feels as if she was right there talking to you. Her very forthright, earthy language is there too. Some of the facts may have been sanitized to make her look better, but it is still nice to hear her side of the story. The book also includes chapters written by some of her close friends, such as Arlene Dahl, Gregory Peck, and Roddy McDowall.

Ava tells the story of how she started from a simple, country girl and became one of the screen's greatest femmes fatales. After her screen test, the director declared, "She can't talk! She can't act! She's sensational!" Ava would go on to costar with some of Hollywood's greatest leading men, such as Burt Lancaster, Robert Taylor, Gregory Peck, and her childhood favorite, Clark Gable. She lit up every scene with her ravishing beauty. Ernest Hemingway gave her the title of "The World's Most Beautiful Animal".

Ava's personal life was quite tragic. She suffered through three failed marriages and many turbulent love affairs. Her public life was often in the tabloids; her image was that of a sultry temptress. However, Ava grew up in a family with very old-fashioned values. She was actually quite shy and lacked self-confidence. Despite her glamorous look, she was very down-to-earth. She was subjected to typecasting based on her looks. But with such an unreal beauty, you can't blame them. Ava was underrated for her talents; she was more than just a pretty face. Ava: My Story will reveal different aspects on this great screen legend.
Profile Image for Katy.
32 reviews10 followers
July 26, 2013
the book is wonderfully written it feels like you're having a conversation with Ava. I only wish there were more photos!
Profile Image for Sharon Barrow Wilfong.
1,135 reviews3,969 followers
June 4, 2020
I got this book in the free bin at my local library and, while I don't normally go for celebrity biographies I took a chance on this one.

This story started out strong. I especially liked the natural, southern slangy way Ava Gardner described her upbringing in rural North Carolina ("Honey, let me tell ya..."). Her home town is near my father's and he had a crush on Ava Gardner growing up. I thought when I finished the book I'd give it to him to read.

As I progressed I decided not. Why burst my dad's bubble of fond memories? He's 84. Let him die happy.

Ava seems to have a rare talent for combining beauty and class with a foul mouth and raunchy life style. However, I doubt if hers is an atypical Hollywood story.

She liked to drink, got into several passionate love affairs, including with Frank Sinatra, whom she considered the love of her life. They eventually married but just couldn't stop fighting.

It was strange. She had no problem cheating with other wives' husbands, but she was a tigress if any of her lovers or husbands dared cheat on her.

Her standards weren't very high either or maybe women back then didn't see anything wrong with getting slapped around. She rejected Howard Hughes' obsessive advances, although not his money or the trips, private jets and jewelry he poured on her. He also poured abuse on her, both verbal and physical. Both of which she returned. The worst was George C. Scott who was a psychopath and needed to go to prison. He beat her so badly she had multiple times to escape from him and once ended up in the hospital.

Her first husband, Mickey Rooney, spent their honeymoon playing golf and sleeping with other women. The marriage did not last long. She was 19. However as an unknown extra at MGM, being married to one of Hollywood's biggest starts probably didn't hurt the upward trajectory of her career. It may have even launched it.

The second husband, Artie Shaw, was abusive and unfaithful. Next was Frank Sinatra. I won't bother describing all the drunken brawls and broken furniture during their marriage.

However, Sinatra married Ava while his star was slumping and hers was rising. I can't help but think both of them saw the other as a career boost. At any rate it was. Ava married a legend, and Sinatra's star took back off.

Ava's biography gives the reader a view of the Golden Hollywood years were like behind the scenes. She describes the making of her movies and her fellow actors without gossip or rancor. She loved and was beloved by her fellow actors. There seemed to be no jealousy or pettiness between her and the other beautiful stars of the era, even when they sometimes shared husbands (serially, not at the same time).

Ava loved and was loved by "Papa Hemingway" as she called him. They met in Europe in a hospital room where she was laid up cursing out the nurses. They must have mutually respected their abilities to swear like sailors. Ava starred in a couple of Hemingway's stories made into movies.

Interestingly, Ava stated that she really wasn't an actress, that none of them were. They were simply gorgeous dolls hired to pose in movies. Probably not completely true, but not entirely false either.

And I agree with Ava that there was a look that the make-up artists contrived to make all of them look alike and frankly quite a few of them did. I personally have a hard time telling Ava Gardner from Rita Hayworth or Lana Turner or Jean Simmons from Audrey Hepburn. I feel the same about today's stars. I guess it's whatever the fashion look is at the time.

This book was interesting and Ava is an interesting person, but I wonder if, reading her biography, I haven't read most Hollywood glamour stars biography: Beautiful woman gets discovered, eventually lands leading roles, sleeps with a lot of men, marries and divorces. Dies from health related causes due to heavy smoking and drinking. The end.

At least I got it free.
Profile Image for Graceann.
1,167 reviews
December 5, 2010
The only thing that kept me reading is that I wanted to see how Miss Gardner discussed her three husbands (with affection - she even found nice things to say about Artie Shaw) and how she felt in her older years (frustrated with her health). Now I know, but it was quite a slog to get to that information.

"Ava: My Story" was published posthumously, and clearly her writing style was retained (or, at least, I can only hope a professional writer wasn't responsible for this). It is clunky and full of "folksy" language that's meant to make someone feel closer to Miss Gardner, but all it does is pull the reader out of the narrative. At least once every three pages or so, Ava calls you "honey." (Psst - you're not really friends with her.) She also swears constantly, as I understand she did in real life. Swearing doesn't bother me; I do a great deal of it myself, I must say. It loses its punch when it's placed in writing, especially when it's not part of a quote.

One thing I got out of the story, and that I appreciated, is that working was just that for Ava Gardner. She got a paycheck, washed her face and went home. She never understood people who killed themselves working for their "art" and would gladly skip a plum role if she had a chance to take a holiday instead. She was adamant that the important bits of her life had nothing to do with what went on inside the studio gates. If for no other reason, this made her a girl after my own heart. She never believed her own publicity (or even her own friends) when it came to the raw, natural talent she displayed, and she was refreshingly down-to-earth. Reading about her throwing on a headscarf and nipping downstairs in her bathrobe in order to walk the dog made me smile, especially given some of the "movie queens" who won't even leave their own bedrooms without the full glamour treatment.

Interspersed with her own thoughts are the memories of her friends and colleagues - people like Arlene Dahl, Gregory Peck and Roddy McDowall. Their stories are at least as interesting as hers, and place her behavior in excellent perspective.
Profile Image for Mataos Ponticello.
Author 5 books36 followers
March 16, 2012
I know we have our "divas" now, but back the hollywood days they were called "leading ladies," and they were spectacular. I enjoyed reading every word of Ava Gardner's life story, and there's dozens more to read. What lives and lifestyles!
Profile Image for Phyllis.
108 reviews
March 8, 2014
From the first line, I was hooked! Ava was born about 40 miles NE of my birthplace, Ft Bragg, NC. Haven't read as entertaining an autobiography as Ava's. She illuminated her world. I felt I was there right beside her. Funny, tragic, imperfect, blessed with "good looks and health" most of her life.
Profile Image for Linda.
113 reviews13 followers
September 26, 2016
What a wasted life. This books starts off well enough as Ava describes her childhood and family, but as soon as she gets her start in Hollywood, the book made a steady decline for me. I don't think Ava had a firm grasp on how she presented herself or who she truly was. She repetitively states that she was shy and did NOT have a drinking problem, and yet every story she shares portrays her as an abrasive loudmouth drunk. I find it funny that she was so paranoid about the men in her life cheating when she herself had no problem sleeping with married men. I guess what goes around, comes around. And she states that she desperately wanted children, and then procedes to abort 2 babies, back to back. She never did have any children.

I actually did enjoy the personalized writing style, but the stories (except a few), were really, really boring. Ava gives a summary of all the films she starred in (boring) and then describes how she mouthed off, drank, and antagonized the people around her. Then she starts talking about husband number (fill in the blank) and how they drank, mouthed off, and fought. Rinse and repeat. To clarify, I am not blaming her entirely for her failed marriages; from her description alone, most everyone in Hollywood were not faithful and got a new spouse every year. I think for her part, she could have been less impulsive with matrimonial decisions.

There were moments she was gracious toward someone, but for the most part, the book was one big repeat of drunken behavior (or rude and sober behavior), poor decisions, and colorful language. I honestly don't think many people could be around her long, because it does say that she did not have any female friends, and she didn't have any lasting relationships with men. She died alone with her dog and housekeeper. Overall, I didn't care for the book and I didn't care for Ava Gardner.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jan C.
1,099 reviews126 followers
August 27, 2009
Very enjoyable. She was a live wire. And the funny thing is, she apparently never believed that she was a star or really evem that she was beautiful. Although I think someone was telling her how beautiful she was (they were always telling her that) and I think she was in her sixties (she died at 67) and she said "I used to be."

And her husbands and boyfriends ... whoa! Mickey Rooney - the liar. Artie Shaw - wanted to make her into something brilliant. Frank Sinatra - they were the love of each other's lives but as husband and wife? Forget about it. They were always at each other's throat and running out in the middle of the night. I think they were too much alike. Howard Hughes - he kept throwing jewels at her and she kept throwing them back with "you're a good friend, but that's all." And he never got it. George C. Scott - she didn't know about abusive men and their lies at that time. I had read in Maureen Stapleton's and Colleen Dewhurst's books about him but they barely touched the surface. Yesterday I was looking in a catalog and there was one for "Rage" directed and starring George C. Scott. I thought how perfect. Who would know better about rage than someone who is enraged.

It was a very funny memoir, supplemented by memories from friends. Apparently her last years were less than happy because of the results of a stroke. Wonder if it had anything to do with all those years of heavy drinking?
Profile Image for Marianne Meyers.
608 reviews8 followers
July 29, 2011
"Hollywood stars are just not the same anymore, oh the glamour! I liked her writing style, it felt like she was talking directly to me as a confidant. Nice dirt on Howard Hughes. She never really was confident in herself, she never had a chance to be, she was too busy being told, ""just stand there and look beautiful."" Alcohol was a major part of her life, which was sad to read. She and Frank never had a chance, both were too insecure to stay in a relationship. I came away sad from this book because she never really found what she was looking for in her life.
Profile Image for Gregory Rothbard.
399 reviews
May 11, 2012
Ms. North Carolina is represented by Ava Gardner (1922-1990). She was born on Christmas Eve 1922, in Grabtown North Carolina. She was born under Capricorn; a sign for people that are grounded by truth. She desired no bull outside of Durham.
She moved to California from Norfolk Virginia, married Mickey Rooney, and was asked to lose her Carolina accent. She might have lost the accent but she never lost the Carolina way.
She was wooed by the reclusive Howard Hughes and proved that Southern Girls Kick Ass; she knocked out Howard Hughes for slapping her. She knew how to defend herself. She "split his face open from temple to mouth, knocked out two of his teeth, and loosened others."(Gardner 81) She felt no remorse. She was a tough North Carolina girl, and once asked "didn't all virtuous North Carolina girls sleep with a gun under their heads?(ibid 131)
She retained her Reformed Presbyterian principles in the hustle bustle of Hollywoodland. "I came to Hollywood almost pathologically shy, a country girl with a country girl's simple, ordinary values."(ibid 114) Being simple did not mean that she was a dummy, nor that she was merely effective.
For instance she could beat men at their own games: Artie Shaw gave Ava chess lessons from a Russian Master Chess Player; Ava then was able to checkmate Shaw in less than an half-hour. Shaw, a sore loser, would never play Ms. Gardner again.
Profile Image for Stacy.
282 reviews7 followers
October 18, 2016
When I first started the book, I found it very enjoyable, but about halfway into it, I became bored. It starts out making the reader feel as if they have just sat down with Ava, and she begins to tell all about her life, the kind where you only get a little at a time and can't wait until the next visit. Ava was raised in a poor southern family. I believe she had the makings of a good woman, but Hollywood seems to have a way of changing people. Even so, I believe she never lost her kind heart. She was a beautiful woman, probably one of the most beautiful in her day, even today. Even after being in Hollywood, she never seemed to become conceited , unlike many others. She also seemed to be lacking in confidence. The rest of the book tells of her failed relationships, her wild lifestyle and her career. Though she was raised a southern belle, Ava Gardner was no lady! I believe she could make a sailor blush. This autobiography was ok, nothing spectacular. ~~~~~~~Contains colorful language. If you don't like colorful, I wouldn't recommend.
Profile Image for Melody Swain.
62 reviews
April 4, 2011
After Elizabeth Taylor's passing I wanted to read about one of the classic screen stars that I was interested in.

I really enjoyed the parts of the book that were about the different loves in her life. Very interesting to learn that such a beauty was a tomboy and never truly believed that she had any actual talent.

Some might not have liked the way that the book was written but I found it came accross as though you were sitting down and having a drink with the star as she told you her side of the story. In that same way it dragged in some places the same way a story being told by your grandparents does.

I also enjoyed that there were some memories included from those that were close to her. Gave another dimension to different parts in her life.

But all in all if you are interested in learing more about the classic screen star I would recommend.
Profile Image for Tara.
Author 14 books47 followers
January 1, 2012
One of Hollywood's most charismatic beauties, Ava Gardner tells her life in her own words. The most interesting parts, for me, were her humble beginnings as the youngest of 7 children born to a South Carolina farmer - who, like many, lost his way during the Great Depression - also her passionate romance with Frank Sinatra, and her bizarre friendship with Howard Hughes (how could it be otherwise?) I have no doubt that Ms Gardner and her co-writers toned down some aspects of her private life, but her earthy, adventurous spirit comes across strongly nonetheless.
Profile Image for Anna Ryan.
Author 6 books5 followers
June 6, 2014
This is by far the best autobiography I have read so far :) I love it how Ava says things like: 'And honey, believe me ...' Or words to that effect. When you read this book, it is like you are having a good old chat to Ava, herself.
She was an amazing, funny, beautiful woman who swore a lot. I was a big fan or her before I read her fantastic memoir, and now, after reading it, I am an even bigger fan of hers. She is one of my favourite actresses of all time! :D (along with Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall).
Profile Image for Stay Fetters.
2,468 reviews192 followers
September 25, 2015
Ava is such a beautiful person inside and out. Never let Hollywood fame get to her head.
Finding fame with just one of her photos hanging up in New York.
Through the ups and downs, she kept a level head. With all the failed marriages and the late night boozings, she always stayed true to herself. Never letting anyone change her mind.
Throughout she wasn't afraid to tell it how it is and not letting anything hold her back from the truth.
Going into this I didn't know much about her and afterwards I found new respect in her life.
293 reviews2 followers
February 29, 2008
I read this book by mistake. I picked it up thinking she was a different actress but then kept reading. She was a singular sort of person and very honest about her feelings and actions. She took a lot of abuse and dished it out. She died very suddenly before the book was published so they had other people contribute to it -- everyone from Greggory Peck to her maid. I was glad I'd read it.
Profile Image for Julie.
610 reviews3 followers
July 16, 2013
It is kind of sad that these people who seem so glamorous and rich and famous are just not as happy as we expect.

I did note that she really never badmouthed anyone (well, maybe one exception--but I forgive her that.) She did seem, for the most part, to just simply accept and enjoy the people around her.
Profile Image for David Melvin.
41 reviews
January 21, 2015
I think this is a very good book. This autobiography is very definitive about the life of Ava Gardner. Ava Gardner describes her life and how she became a famous actress. I don't recommend this book to any one under 15 or 16 though.
Profile Image for Claire.
69 reviews1 follower
August 30, 2011
I'm from North Carolina and everytime I pass through Smithfield in Eastern NC, I think how did someone so exotic and lush come from heah?! Hell of a tale.
Profile Image for Raimo Wirkkala.
696 reviews2 followers
April 29, 2020
This memoir was put together from audio-tapes recorded by Ava and, thus, it is very charmingly chatty (she refers, often, to the reader as "honey").
The book is rich in anecdotes, particularly as concerns the men in her life, and a little light on the film-work that she did. One of the best films she appeared in doesn't even rate a mention.
Interspersed throughout the book are testimonial-type chapters written by people who knew her. The submissions by Gregory Peck and Roddy McDowall are especially insightful, in my view, and lend some good context to Ava's revelations.
The final word is given to Ava's life-long companion, Mearene Jordan, who brings the book to a poignant denouement.
Profile Image for Denise.
224 reviews13 followers
March 6, 2016
Ava Gardner, una mujer sencilla de Carolina del Norte, llega por azares del destino a ser contratada por la MGM siendo muy joven y eventualmente se convierte en estrella de la pantalla grande. Ava dice: "Y hablando como alguien que ya ha hecho el viaje de ida y vuelta, lo que realmente me gustaría decir acerca del estrellato es que me dio todo lo que no quería". El estudio ejerció un fuerte control sobre la vida pública y privada de Ava durante muchos años, cosa que a ella siempre le pesó. El estudio capitalizó su belleza mientras que a ella le pagaban una miseria en comparación con los millones que la MGM hacía, sobre todo prestándola a otros estudios para hacer ciertas películas. También le decían qué sí podía hacer, a dónde sí podía ir y con quién podía salir o casarse de acuerdo a las cláusulas de moral del estudio. Cosa que siempre la tuvo enfadada y resentida con los hombres del poder en Hollywood.

A través de diversas historias, muchas de ellas muy divertidas, Ava nos comparte una parte de su vida, de las relaciones tormentosas y pasionales que tuvo con los hombres que dejaron huella en su vida, y habla incluso abiertamente de la relación violenta que sostuvo con George C. Scott. Ella era una alma libre, era como un animal salvaje, y todos querían "domesticarla". Y mientras más trataban los hombres en su vida de controlarla y retenerla, más se les escapaba ella. Era como el mercurio, imposible retenerla si se cierra la mano. Sólo si se le ofrecía una mano abierta se entregaba sin reservas.

También nos narra interesantes historias sobre la producción de varias de sus películas, así como las anécdotas con otros actores o directores durante los rodajes. Entre otras cosas confiesa que siempre fue un peligro al volante, pero que amaba la velocidad. Vivía en el momento, tomaba un día a la vez. No se preocupaba mucho por el futuro y eso le permitió vivir con intensidad todo lo que hacía. Para Ava la vida fue una fiesta continua. Y aunque murió joven, a los 68 años, podemos decir que aún con todas sus altas y sus bajas tuvo una buena vida.
Profile Image for Ellyn.
168 reviews5 followers
November 22, 2016
Ava was no writer, but she could sure turn a phrase and tell a story. And I'm so glad she told her own.

Ava was a real dame, and one of the last of the dazzling Hollywood movie stars. She lived and worked in a time when it was difficult to be a woman and stand up for yourself, so there are painful stories of victimization here. Because of her kindness and generosity of spirit, she remained lifelong friends or on good terms with most of her exes -- a handful of men who frankly didn't deserve it.

I did enjoy the stories of her early years, and the relationship with Frank Sinatra. I rooted for them even though I knew the ending. Their relationship was fraught with childishness and pettiness likely fueled by addiction -- I wish they could have found a way to work it out, because I believe they truly were the loves of each others lives.

She was not a saint, but she was a lovely, complicated, flawed human being. I'm glad to have gotten to know her better. I wish things had been easier for her, especially in her later years, and that she had found more happiness.

202 reviews1 follower
January 14, 2016
This autobiography was recorded on tape by Ava Gardner in more than two years before her death on January 25, 1990. There are also short chapters by the following: Ava'a sister Myra Gardner Pearce; the actors Arlene Dahl, Lena Horne, Gregory Peck and Roddy McDowell: writer Stephen Birmingham: designer Franka; and Ava's employee Mearene Jordan.
It could be said that Ava was unlucky in love. Of her three marriages only that to Frank Sinatra lasted as much as two years. And she ended up living alone in London, England. This doesn't mean that a lot of people didn't love her. She just did it her own way.
My favorite films of her were 'One Touch of Venus' in which she played a statue of the goddess Venus that come to life, and 'Mogambo', adverures in the African bush with Clark Gable and Grace Kelly.
I must read one or two other biographies to see what they have to say.
Profile Image for Rachel.
228 reviews70 followers
September 3, 2008
I dressed up as Ava Gardner in the third grade for my "Famous North Carolinian" project. We had to read an autobiography of a famous person from North Carolina, and I read this. There is a lot of sex and lamp-throwing, but that did not deter me. I was hooked on Gardner, just like Frank Sinatra. This may have something to do with why, as an adult, my concept of romance involves pretending to shoot yourself over the phone so that someone will come to your house and be relieved that you're not dead. Yes, Frank Sinatra actually did that for THIS WOMAN. Read it.
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