The 2 1/2 Pillars of Wisdom

Portuguese Irregular Verbs #1-3

by Alexander McCall Smith

Alexander McCall Smith, best-selling author of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, has turned his hand to humour. The delightful result is a creation of comic genius. For in the unnaturally tall form of Professor Doctor Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, we are invited to meet a memorable character whose sublime insouciance is a blend of the cultivated pomposity of Frasier Crane and of Inspecteur Clouseau's hapless gaucherie. Von Igelfeld inhabits the rarefied world of the Institute of Romance Philology at Regensburg, a world he shares with his equally tall and equally ridiculous colleagues, Professors Florianus Prinzel and Detlev Amadeus Unterholzer. Their unlikely adventures are described in three deliciously funny Portuguese Irregular Verbs, The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs and At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Contemporary, Short Stories, Comedy, Unfinished, Literary Fiction

394 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Alexander McCall Smith is the author of the international phenomenon The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series, the Isabel Dalhousie Series, the Portuguese Irregular Verbs series, and the 44 Scotland Street series. He is professor emeritus of medical law at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland and has served on many national and international bodies concerned with bioethics. He was born in what is now known as Zimbabwe and he was a law professor at the University of Botswana. He lives in Scotland. Visit him online at www.alexandermccallsmith.com, on Facebook, and on Twitter.

Reviews

[Silvanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

A ridiculous book with a meandering, pointless narrative. McCall Smith's humour occasionally shines through but overall this self-indulgent story is too absurd to enjoy.

[Vio · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think Alexander McCall Smith is a bit crazy, like this book is, too! I totally loved it.
I mean, it says ”trilogy” on the cover... and then you go and make it a tetralogy?! Why, why? Now I have to read the remaining part.

[Anupriya · Rating 4 out of 5]

To be honest, this was not one of those books that gripped me from the very first page. Took me a while before I could feel any involvement in the protagonist and his world. I had a similar feeling of the sort when I read my first Blandings castle novel. By the time I was 15 -20 pages in, I was hooked. The Blandings castle analogy is particularly apt because 21/2 pillars does remind me of Wodehouse’s gentle wit and the sublime world he created for us in his books. A world that no longer exists, perhaps never did anywhere in the real world. While I confess I know little about the world of academia, I suspect that von Igelfeld’s idyllic world too exists only in the mind of its creator and is all the more beautiful for it.
The past week has been a tiring one for me and I've enjoyed escaping into the world of Romance Philology every chance I got. Warm and mellow yet enthralling. This isn't riotous laugh a minute stand-up comedy, but I guarantee the smile will never leave your face while your nose is buried in 2 ½ pillars of wisdom. :)

[K.A. Hitchins · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first sight, this book appears to be a study of the rarefied world of Academic linguistics. Little seems to happen, dust settles, the rhythm of the superb prose rocks one gently into a false sense of tedium, then BANG Professor Dr Moritz-Maria Von Igelfeld finds himself embroiled in a succession of the most ridiculous scenarios. The plot is weaved in so subtly, the humour so understated, that it's rather like boiling a lobster - you don't realise you're reading a killer of a book until it is too late. You're done for. Completely hooked, scarlet with laughter and left wanting more. Who knew Portuguese Irregular Verbs could be so intriguing?

[Michael O'Connor · Rating 2 out of 5]

Far too much whimsy for me I'm afraid. I had to abandon it a few chapters in.

[Marijn Woudstra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aardig en af en toe erg grappig maar het mist het fijngevoelige van de serie over mma Ramotswe. Ook een beetje veel meligheid in 1 band: het boek bestaat blijkbaar uit 3 delen. Misschien handiger het gedoseerd tot je te nemen.

[R · Rating 5 out of 5]

The 2 1/2 Pillars of Wisdom by Alexander McCall Smith
Abacus, 2004
How I got this book: Borrowed it from the library.
Why I read this book: I was playing tennis with a friend when she recommended it to me. She said she felt like she was trapped in the opening story. You might understand my reluctance to go on with the anecdote if you've read the story in question.

The 2 1/2 Pillars of Wisdom consists of a trilogy of comic short novels – Portuguese Irregular Verbs, The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs, and At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances – featuring the bungling German professor of Romance Philology Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, his duo of equally bungling friends, and a cast of characters who either join in with the bungling or end up victims of it.

This is the first I’ve read of the intimidatingly prolific Alexander McCall Smith (How does the man sleep?), and having read these stories – for this trilogy is really a volume of short stories rather than three full-length novels – I must say that I’m very keen to delve into some of his more well-known series.

This tome is simply charming. I can’t think of any adjective that better encapsulates everything I feel about it. I was charmed from the get-go by those quaint titles that McCall Smith tends to give his books, and then found myself successively charmed by everything else: the charmingly awkward characters; the charmingly light-hearted plots; the charmingly pleasant prose...

It probably ought to be mentioned that, on a very basic and obvious level, the humour of these stories is often derived from the heavy use of stereotypes. The Italians are boisterous and tend to gesticulate wildly; the Irish drink a lot; the Indians are either psychic holy men or casual law-breakers; the English are alarmingly eccentric; the Colombians are obsessed with bringing about the revolution; and, of course, the Germans are proper, logical and utterly horrified by lack of decorum.

Additionally, with the stereotype of bumbling brainbox professors being played out for laughs, there is a strong element of Schadenfreude, as it were. Basically, we’re encouraged to laugh at poor von Igelfeld as he traps himself in corners with his ineptitude.

Despite all that has been said, however, none of this stereotyping is overtly mocking or mean-spirited in the least. Trust me on this one: I’m the sort of person who can’t watch The Office because it gives me such a serious case of second-hand embarrassment that I want to defenestrate myself on the characters’ behalves. If it gets too sneery, my overdeveloped embarrassment gland means that I will avoid it like the plague.

That said, as a student, I've been in contact with academics for the better part of two years now, and part of the reason these stories are as charming as they are is that they genuinely manage to capture some truth in the whimsically awkward situations described. Trust me on this one, too: I’ve witnessed situations involving professors that were so horrifically awkward I wanted to defenestrate myself on their behalves... Yet somehow, these events have been unbelievably hilarious in retrospect – and these stories are perfectly spot-on in evoking that sensation.

I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a light, humorous read. In fact, I’d also recommend that anybody who thinks they may get stranded on an island anytime soon slip a copy of this into a water-tight bag and carry it around on their person. This is the sort of read whose gentle frivolities you can easily lose yourself in – even when stranded on an island with no food, no water, and no hope of rescue. Yes, The 2 1/2 Pillars of Wisdom may just have become one of my Desert Island Books, and it gets 5 stars from me.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of these reviews called philology obscure, which is really nothing less than offensive. Another mentioned von Igelfeld's preoccupation with language -- that is so, and his thoughtful use of language charms everyone he meets, so non-philologists would do well to pay more attention to their own. The author's own delight in language is evident. The humour works because academics often do indeed think along von Igelfeld's lines. This means the "good" with the "bad": the pomposity, the pedantry, the rivalry, but also the thoughtfulness, the aestheticism, and the ability to plunge into new situations with openness and interest. It was quite nice to see a silly caricature grounded in understanding.

[Manda Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

"He sighed. It was not easy maintaining one's position as the author
of Portuguese Irregular Verbs. Not only was there Unterholzer (and all
that tiresome business with is dog), but von Igelfeld also had to cope
with the distinct unhelpfulness of the Librarian and with the
unmitigated philistinism of his publishers. Then there was the awkward
attitude of the university authorities, who recently had shown the
temerity to ask him to deliver a series of lectures to undergraduate
students. This had almost been the last straw for von Igelfeld, who
had been obliged to remind them of just who he was. That had caused
them to climb down, and the Rector had even sent a personal letter of
apology, but von Igelfeld felt that the damage was done. If German
professors could be asked to lecture, as if they were mere
instructors, then the future of German scholarship looked perilous. He
had heard that one of his colleagues had even been asked whether he
proposed to write another book, when he had already written one some
ten years previously! And the alarming thing was that people were
taking this lying down and not protesting at the outrageous breach of
academic freedom which it unquestionably was. What would have happened
if the University of Koenigsberg had asked Kant whether he proposed to
write another Kritik der reinen Vernunft? Kant would have treated such
a question with the contempt it deserved."

... and several hundred pages later ...

"Von Igelfeld was dubious; students had a way of creating a great deal of extra work and were, in general, the bane of a professor's life. That was why so few German professors saw any students; it was regrettable, but necessary if one's time was to be protected from unacceptable encroachments."

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alexander McCall Smith takes the story of the lives of three philologists and creates stories of workplace slights, petty arguments, envy and snobbery and still makes you want to continue reading about them. Every conference invitation becomes a cause of conspiracy and one-upmanship.

Our main character, Dr. Moritz-Maria Von Igelfeld, whose family crest he proudly shows the noble hedgehog. He is such a snob he doesn't recognize the Pope while Igelfeld conducts research in the Vatican library.

Smith uses the travels of the characters to produce moments of hilarity. Igelfeld doesn't understand his British colleagues and their sense of humor and is slighted mainly by having to share a bathroom with another colleague while visiting there. Igelfeld also gets invited to speak on a cruise ship as they will travel to Portugal en route to Greece and his authorship of Portuguese Irregular Verbs, the seminal work on the topic suggests that he may be able to provide relevant entertainment to the passengers. But he proves to be less popular than the mystery writer onboard. That is until the many females passengers realize the professor is one of the few unmarried men on the ship.

Funny also are the strong feelings the characters have for "sausage dogs" and the haphazard protection they give to the reliquaries entrusted to Igelfeld by an Orthodox Church patriarch.

Smith knows human nature like few others do. We may recognize ourselves but probably other colleagues as we read him.

[Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the funniest reads around - the subtlety of some of the recurring themes ... sausage dogs ... Wagner ... the petty rivalries ... just when you feel it's safe, suddenly you find yourself rolling on the floor at some new hilarious irony. I will never be able to look at a sausage dog the same again.

There were a couple of points in the book (particularly in the third book, At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances) where I felt like things were somewhat "over the top" and where McCall Smith lost me through causing circumstances around the main character Igelfeld to be a tad too "Rowan Atkinson" zany.

If it weren't for the occasional disappointing "over the top" moment, I would have scored this book higher. It's a wonderfully entertaining read in any case.

[Judi Moore · Rating 2 out of 5]

A collection of gentle, moral tales concerning the bizarre adventures of the rather prickly Professor Dr von Igelfeld who holds a chair in a truly obscure subject at a German university and never sees a single student. Three previous books have been combined into this single volume : 'Portugese Irregular Verbs', 'The finer points of sausage dogs' and 'At the Villa of Reduced Circumstaces'. So if you've read any of those, don't bother picking this one up. There is considerable learning lightly displayed in these stories. The hand that wrote 'The No 1 Ladies' Detective Agency' is certainly in evidence in this book - in a good way - but the setting is a very different culture. Bravo Mr McCall Smith for your breadth!

[Bill H · Rating 4 out of 5]

This set of three novellas minded me of nothing so much as Steven Potter's Upmanship books -- which for me meant laugh-out-loud-hilarious. I wish I knew more people who would agree with that assessment, though!

[Jane · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have a horrible feeling that I didn’t quite get this book. It seemed very silly to me but I think it was meant to be and it just didn’t tickle my sense of humour. The three professors were over the top, although the underlying idea of academic competitiveness rings true, and their antics just ridiculous. Sorry just not one for me, although I have loved everything else I have ever read by this author.

[Will Ansbacher · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some might call this whimsy, but it's just dull, laboured and not funny. "The 2 1/2 Novellas of Boredom" would be more accurate - I gave up part way through the third interminable pointless set of chapters, that's as much as I could take. Pity there isn't a 0 star rating

[Donna Woodard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Satirical humor of the academic world. Human oddity and peculiarities are treated with the gentleness characteristic of the author. At times I shook my head at some of the absurdity that was clearly accurate.

[Clyde · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very nicely written and quite entertaining, but not a patch on McCall Smith's later stuff. Lacks interesting female characters.

[Saski · Rating 2 out of 5]

The main character was so boring and intolerant (although he would resent me classifying him as such) that I almost didn't finish the book.

[Jami Hart · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a single likeable character.

[Godly Gadfly · Rating 4 out of 5]

An omnibus of the first three laugh-out-loud Von Igelfeld titles. (4 stars)

I’ve enjoyed Alexander McCall Smith’s Von Igelfeld stories immensely. “The 2 1/2 Pillars of Wisdom” is an omnibus edition that contains the first three books of the series: #1 Portuguese Irregular Verbs, #2 The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs, and #3 At The Villa of Reduced Circumstances. All three of these titles can be read as stand-alone stories, but much the same can be said about the chapters too; while there is some overall narrative arc, most chapters are like mini-stories that function on their own.

The subject material is rather unique: the academic world of Prof Moritz-Maria Von Igelfeld, a quirky professor of language in Germany, who has written a massive work on Portuguese irregular verbs. But what makes these books so enjoyable is the warm and at times even absurd laugh-out-loud humour. Much of the focus is on the characters, particularly Von Igelfeld and his colleagues Dr Florianus Prinzel and Dr Detlev Amadeus Unterholtzer. But it’s especially the amusing storyline and the farcical and outlandish elements that won me over.

In the first book, “Portuguese Irregular Verbs” Von Igelfeld’s adventures include organizing a swordsmanship duel for his friend Prinzel (who subsequently loses part of his nose, which is sewn back on upside down by medics), an attempt by the three academics to play tennis, Von Igelfel’s romantic pursuit of his lady dentist, and a trip to Venice where he discovers a dangerous threat due to radiation.

The title of the second book already gives an indication of the absurdity that lies within: “The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs”. It’s my favourite in the series, as Von Igelfeld takes a trip to America, where he finds himself delivering an impromptu lecture on the subject of sausage dogs to a gathering of agricultural scientists. The action heats up upon his return to Europe, where he accidentally finds himself thrown into the role of a veterinary surgeon. When a sausage dog gets three legs amputated by mistake under Von Igelfeld’s oversight, the missing legs get replaced with wheels. Things become even more outlandish when Von Igelfeld meets a very bored and lonely pope who amuses himself by playing solitaire, and when the sausage dog accidentally consumes the sacred bones of Father Christmas.

“At The Villa of Reduced Circumstances” is the third title in the series. While it isn’t quite as good as the previous book, it is still a worthwhile and entertaining read. It consists of two main parts, beginning with a four-month trip that Von Igelfeld makes to Cambridge, as he struggles to cope with the differences in culture and academia between England and Germany. I found the second main part of the book more interesting, however. Von Igelfeld gets invited to Bogota, Colombia, where he is given special honours for his work. What he doesn’t expect, however, is to find himself a central figure in university politics there, and in the middle of a revolution that topples the government. And who better than Von Igelfeld to become the next President of the country?

One thing that Alexander McCall Smith is very good at is giving us insight into characters, especially Von Igelfeld, and we’re often treated to a running stream of consciousness that explains his thoughts. On the one hand we’re amazed at how out of touch with reality he is, and we can’t help laughing at him. But at the same time we also can’t help feeling sorry for him. McCall Smith is able to combine both of these two aspects of comedy and sympathy very deftly and effectively.

These books are brilliantly funny, with plenty of laugh out loud moments of slapstick humour. There’s also plenty of academic satire to enjoy along the way, and I’ve had a lot of pleasure in reading all of the books in the series, including two more titles that eventually followed, “Unusual Uses for Olive Oil” (2007) and “Your Inner Hedgehog” (2021).

I’ve also enjoyed some of the radio adaptations of McCall Smith’s “No 1 Ladies Detective Agency” series. In contrast, his “44 Scotland Street” and “Paul Stewart” series both felt more like soap opera and sitcoms to me than good fiction, and had quite a different feel. The Von Igelfeld books are definitely the ones I’ve enjoyed the most!

[Abby Gaby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Alexander McCall Smith has been one of my favorite authors since I started reading the #1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series, and I’m happy to say that this trilogy didn’t disappoint. That said, I don’t think everyone will appreciate or enjoy the book’s humor or storyline. The humor builds on stereotype (ex. academics live in their ivory towers), so this may not be for those who want everything to be politically correct. But if you love well thought-out characters, understated and light-hearted humor, wit, and sarcasm, then do pick up this book.Individuals are well characterized, I could almost hear them speaking. The situations the main character, the self important Dr. Moritz Maria Von Igelfeld, gets himself into are so ridiculous, but the author makes them so believable at the same time. I’ve also worked in the academe for some time and know a few academics (perhaps a reason why I could appreciate this trilogy), so the stereotypical characterization and the exaggerated scenarios made me laugh out loud. I also found myself researching on the random historical details in the novel and was amazed at how the author was able to weave them into a comedy that’s a serious commentary as well.

Igelfeld is pompous, proud, and gets himself into petty rivalries with one of his colleagues. But he shows redeeming qualities that slowly develop through each absurd experience. I soon found myself cheering for his victory. The ending was satisfying and felt so right. I realized that the deeply flawed Igelfeld represented something in all of us, and his victory is ours as well.

[Edward · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mr. Smith's way of writing always brought a cozy feeling in mind. It's never simple nor complex, just the right blend. From the first to the eight installation of his The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Series, his storytelling is good for those who want to start going into reading or getting back into it.

In this combined trilogy followed a difficult philologist who: in the first book, seeks recognition for his output and also in search for a partner but ultimately failed; in the second book, after misunderstanding leads to a dog crippled only to save him in the end; and in the third book, underwent a incomprehensible set of events only to smoothly lead his way back to safety.

The series is a new approach for reading Smith's works. Would I go for the sequel? I'm fine with as I left. Would I recommend it to those interested? Maybe after reading his other novels first.

All in all, it was a fun and eventful read, a good reliever from what's happening to the world.

[Judy Ford · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a compendium of three books about Professor Doctor Moritz-Maria von Igenfeld, author of the seminal work “Portuguese Irregular Verbs”. The trilogy gently pokes fun at the world of academia, where the professor struggles to prevent one of his colleagues from appropriating his room in the institute while he is away and worries at the lack of interest in his scintillating lectures on Romance Philology. Occasionally farce borders on fantasy as he succeeds in delivering an unprepared lecture on sausage dogs and finally becomes, by chance, President of Colombia! And, amid the chaos and confusion, there are gems of the usual McCall Smith wisdom, as the professor learns that there is more to life than citations and visiting professorships and keeping Professor Unterholzer out of his room, concluding at the end, “that there were more important things to worry about, and that we must love those with whom we live and work, and love them for all their failings, manifest and manifold though they be.”

[Nick Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is perhaps the funniest book I have ever read.
McCall Smith books always have a good dose of dry humour and subtle wit.In this case though my wife kept asking me what was so funny as I kept bursting out in fits of laughter.
The activities of a German expert in philology is not a natural conduit for instant humour one might think.The writer though has a field day laughing at Germans (which no doubt upsets some people) and laughing at academia.The latter he is no doubt well-qualified to do.
In modern-day woke Britain some might not like this tome.They would be the same people who objected to the Fawlty Towers episode about "don't mention ze war" or for laughing at a Spanish waiter.However poking gentle fun at other nationalities should be a sort of humour allowed in what is becoming a increasingly censorious society in Britain.

[Feeling-bookish · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a long time (years) to finish this book; I would lose interest and come back to it. It pokes gentle fun at academia and its pretensions, and through its main characters, also brings out human dilemmas of choosing between selfish (petty) interests or the moral high ground in everyday decisions and interactions. Some of the events are funny, and some of the Professor's adventures are out of this world. I enjoyed the book in parts but found other parts tedious and not as engaging, hence the rating.

[Anna Haning · Rating 5 out of 5]

alexander mccall smith does not disappoint

Another brilliant book produced by my favourite author written with dry stoic sense of humour and so good because it portrays reality and human nature so well. The main character Prof von Igelfeld seems so real with his set ways and fondness for his particular lot in life which he considers the best to be had. No matter what exciting adventures life throws at us at the end of the day we are all happy to get back to our routines and continue our lives as per usual.

[Ramaswamy Raman · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent humourous book by Alexander McCall Smith.
The humour in this book is of a different kind, but nonetheless makes up for an exciting reading. It was also a quick read and the characters were intellectuals stuck in rather humourous situation.
The writing is of an era where the language was given due respect. I was sceptical before starting to read but the stories and writing made me enjoy the book completely.
Overall an excellent read and can be read within the weekend.

[Annisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

My PhD supervisor (who I still work with during my postdoc) brought this book to my attention. As someone familiar with academia I found this entertaining. My favorite is the second part of the trilogy (the finer point of sausage dogs). The build up is just amazing. I also laughed out loud at various points of the story. I've read The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency and already know thatf his writing style and humor suits me.

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is strangely funny. A pompous self important Professor and his view of events that happen. But as his area of expertise is philology, his insecurity is about what he says, how he says it and how he interprets what other people say. This includes interaction with his university colleagues and people he meets in the countries he visits.

[Abby · Rating 1 out of 5]

I remembered once I got into this book that I hadn’t really liked that Detective Agency book either, and I really just found this a bit tedious- but I am rarely one to abandon a book so ploughed through to the end!