"The events of this Monarch's reign are too numerous for my pen, and indeed the recital of any Events (except what I make myself) is uninteresting to me--"
The History of England, written by Jane Austen when she was but 16-years-old, is, as she puts it "by a partial, prejudiced & ignorant Historian". In this little book she tells the life stories of British monarchs from Henry IV to Charles I but not in the way you usually see them written: she roasts, cracks silly jokes, condemns and lavishly praises, all according to her own, biased point of view.
It is slightly depressing that Jane Austen wrote this when she was 16. What was I doing when I was 16? Certainly not writing witty shit like this! This little book was so much fun and made me giggle (in public) quite a few times, and I like how absolutely unserious Austen is. There's stuff like "During his reign, Lord Cobham was burnt alive but I forget what for", "It is to be supposed that Henry was married, since he certainly had four sons, but it is not in my power to inform the Reader who was his wife" and, when speaking of how Jeanne d'Arc was burned during Henry VI's reign: "They should not have burned her but they did".
One has to wonder how much of this is her actual thoughts and how much of this is just her amping up the humour and the silliness, and wanting to entertain. Did she really loathe Elizabeth I so much and love Mary Queen of Scots so whole-heartedly? Whatever the case, it was quite refreshing to see someone write about Mary so lovingly, when it is usually her more famous, longer-ruling cousin that gets all the credit and praise as the best Queen of British history. In the end, Austen declares her greatest goals when writing this book was to exonerate the Scottish Queen of all the crimes and slander laid against her and to abuse Elizabeth – she definitely did that! Fun fact, she also wrote about the innocence of Anne Boleyn - Mary was not the only maligned Queen whose side Austen takes in this book.
As a queer historian, I could not help but be most drawn to what Austen had to say about James I & VI. She likes him (even if he "allowed" his lovely mother to be killed) quite a bit it seems, but shares a charade she heard of the word "carpet" which was a play on James and his rumoured love affair with Carr, Earl of Somerset. Considering that the king's possible queerness was no grand secret and a known rumour even when he himself was alive, I cannot help but think that Austen - a well-read and curious woman who clearly knows her history, even if she does make fun of it - would've known about those rumours. And this is not the only time she makes a joke that could be seen as a reference to what was, in her time, known as "sodomy" (there's Mary Crawford and her scandalous "rears and vices" -joke).
I would recommend this book to any fan of Jane Austen. It is not, obviously, as well-remembered as her other works because it's part of her juvenilia, but it is such a worthy reading experience. It will take you like, I dunno, 20 minutes to read and you get to enjoy Austen's witty and snarky humor in all its teenage glory.