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An Idiot Girl's Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty List
It’s the most wonderful – and most dreadful – season of the year, when boxes of truffles attack your thighs, drunken holiday revelers stay long past their welcome, and your grandmother has conniptions at the department store over the price of hand lotion. Welcome to Laurie Notaro’s Christmastime.
In ten brand-new stories and three previously published favorites, Notaro shares the sidesplitting daily disasters of the holidays, like finding herself on emergency feminine product recon at midnight on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable Horrible Gift Parade by simply asking for holiday dish towels and giant white underpants from Sears; battling the morons in line at the Seventh Circle of Hell, otherwise known as the do-it-yourself craft store; and trying to live down her reputation as the Most Unfun Christmas Party Guest Ever, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a fake overdose and emergency paramedics.
So whether you find yourself at the Dull and Smart Party or the Raucous and Stupid Party this holiday season, you’ll always know where to find Laurie – just follow the chocolate trail over to the cheese platter. She’ll be the one dialing the cops.
In ten brand-new stories and three previously published favorites, Notaro shares the sidesplitting daily disasters of the holidays, like finding herself on emergency feminine product recon at midnight on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable Horrible Gift Parade by simply asking for holiday dish towels and giant white underpants from Sears; battling the morons in line at the Seventh Circle of Hell, otherwise known as the do-it-yourself craft store; and trying to live down her reputation as the Most Unfun Christmas Party Guest Ever, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a fake overdose and emergency paramedics.
So whether you find yourself at the Dull and Smart Party or the Raucous and Stupid Party this holiday season, you’ll always know where to find Laurie – just follow the chocolate trail over to the cheese platter. She’ll be the one dialing the cops.
142 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2005
154 people are currently reading
3341 people want to read
About the author
Laurie Notaro
23 books2,268 followersLaurie Notaro is a New York Times best-selling American writer.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 322 reviews
November 6, 2017
I loved this book, it made me laugh aloud over and over. There are 6 twisted Christmas stories, which of course are completely true and contain no exaggeration for humor. And I can relate to most of them. Especially the ones about bizarro Christmas presents. I am not sure I would recommend this as your first taste of Laurie since knowing her other work makes this make more sense. But it is a delight.
December 22, 2024
Laurie Notaro always makes me laugh, and this was fun, as usual. As grand as she is at humor I also admired THE MURDERESS, which I’m not sure is out yet, a novel bad on an historical true crime…good stuff, I heartily recommend both books!
December 18, 2017
A collection of stories related to the author's normal (dysfunctional) family Christmases.
Not quite as balanced as her regular books, but still pretty funny. Laurie is always good for a laugh. :)
Not quite as balanced as her regular books, but still pretty funny. Laurie is always good for a laugh. :)
August 6, 2016
This was a fun,quick read. I've read a few of her other books and this one was good, too. There were parts that had me laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Other essays were not as humorous but still fun to read. Notaro reminds me of Jen Lancaster (another funny lady) - she's slightly snarky, like that smart a$$ friend you love to hang out and dish with. Lots of fun even off-season.
Loved the mother's description of menopause:
I haven't slept in fourteen months, and when I wake up every morning, there are little piles of dust at the end of the bed that used to be my bones. I don't have hot flashes, I have slow burns. I spend all my time in the freezer aisle at Safeway hovering over frozen vegetables.
Loved the mother's description of menopause:
I haven't slept in fourteen months, and when I wake up every morning, there are little piles of dust at the end of the bed that used to be my bones. I don't have hot flashes, I have slow burns. I spend all my time in the freezer aisle at Safeway hovering over frozen vegetables.
June 5, 2017
For me, the short essays in An Idiot Girl’s Christmas were hit-or-miss. Many of the stories were previously published, giving the book an uneven, cobbled tone. There wasn’t a central theme (aside from the generic ‘Christmas’) to tie all the essays together into a cohesive whole. And one essay didn’t even relate to Christmas! What was the message? When you’re the least crazy in your family, make sure you write negatively about them to your meager profit?
Author Laurie Notaro rides the very thin line between sarcastic and sardonic, dipping into ungrateful territory frequently. I did laugh occasionally, but I did not “laugh my tinsel off,” as was advertised on the inside front cover. I will concede the story about shopping with her grandmother was accurate; I’ve been there myself, and with travelers checks. Otherwise, it was a sporadically amusing collection of memoir essays.
Author Laurie Notaro rides the very thin line between sarcastic and sardonic, dipping into ungrateful territory frequently. I did laugh occasionally, but I did not “laugh my tinsel off,” as was advertised on the inside front cover. I will concede the story about shopping with her grandmother was accurate; I’ve been there myself, and with travelers checks. Otherwise, it was a sporadically amusing collection of memoir essays.
January 16, 2016
Received it for Christmas
2 hours to read
I own it and would have bought it just for have yourself a Kmart little Christmas.
It was a good read, but I could have used more. There were a few I had read before but still made me laugh. Not her best collection but still worth the read!
2 hours to read
I own it and would have bought it just for have yourself a Kmart little Christmas.
It was a good read, but I could have used more. There were a few I had read before but still made me laugh. Not her best collection but still worth the read!
Read
November 27, 2017Not really very funny, as the title leads you to believe. Her Mother is a hoot, though.
December 3, 2017
Quick, entertaining read. I especially enjoyed the essays involving Notaro’s mom. I laughed at some essays, I skimmed others. Overall, worth a read.
January 10, 2010
I just got this for Christmas last year (the year before?) and how good of me to just get around to reading it now. Not that I was begrudging reading it. I own The Idiot Girl's Action Adventure Guide and I thought that was hilarious. No reason to think the Christmas version would be any different.
And it wasn't. Notaro has this jaded snark about her that only comes with years of battling Murphy's Law tooth and nail only to end up in a drunken stupor with the guy at the end of it all. While Notaro is a chick, and while there is a period story mixed in there, either sex could read this book and get a kick out of it.
My favorite story was probable the first one in the book, about the shit-tastic Christmas gifts she always got, including the partially used ones. I am so lucky not to have family without clues. Although I do have one member and I have received something equivalent to half-used soap and an ugly sweater. I have a cousin who used to work at a now-defunct Big Box Store and she'd do all of her Christmas shopping at their sample store. I'm sure you can imagine what gems were borne of that trip. So imagine my surprise when I open my Christmas gift from her to get this red plaid ankle-length (complete with wrist and neck frills) nightgown paired with equally plaidy and frilly matching booties. I was maybe 16 when I got that. Personally I think that monstrosity pwns any ugly sweater a person could get. Pollyanna would have burned the thing in a field had she gotten it. Of course I had to put on my thank you face before I tucked it into the darkest recesses of my dresser drawer never to glace at it again. That is until it was exorcised and cast into my local Salvation Army. Sorry guys. But I'd rather freeze. Or field-dress a moose to obtain my own footie pajamas.
But really, the thing is the stories in this book are bound to hit you in one way or another because, during the holidays, we are all prone to come kind of Christmastime bat shittery. There's always that one relative that no one wants to deal with, that one Christmas present that you'd rather feed to a wood chipper and that one party that just gets a little too out of hand for its own good. We all have those stories (or will eventually, just give it time). Notaro just has a knack for self-deprecating humor that says, "You are not alone. Why don't you drink with me?"
It's not blatant or over the top. These stories are just, at their core, absolutely hilarious and they're fueled by Notaro's ability to spin a yarn into an ugly sweater with blinking lights. And one of them's out. If you have a chance to read any of her books, I'd highly recommend them. I've yet to meet one I haven't liked.
And it wasn't. Notaro has this jaded snark about her that only comes with years of battling Murphy's Law tooth and nail only to end up in a drunken stupor with the guy at the end of it all. While Notaro is a chick, and while there is a period story mixed in there, either sex could read this book and get a kick out of it.
My favorite story was probable the first one in the book, about the shit-tastic Christmas gifts she always got, including the partially used ones. I am so lucky not to have family without clues. Although I do have one member and I have received something equivalent to half-used soap and an ugly sweater. I have a cousin who used to work at a now-defunct Big Box Store and she'd do all of her Christmas shopping at their sample store. I'm sure you can imagine what gems were borne of that trip. So imagine my surprise when I open my Christmas gift from her to get this red plaid ankle-length (complete with wrist and neck frills) nightgown paired with equally plaidy and frilly matching booties. I was maybe 16 when I got that. Personally I think that monstrosity pwns any ugly sweater a person could get. Pollyanna would have burned the thing in a field had she gotten it. Of course I had to put on my thank you face before I tucked it into the darkest recesses of my dresser drawer never to glace at it again. That is until it was exorcised and cast into my local Salvation Army. Sorry guys. But I'd rather freeze. Or field-dress a moose to obtain my own footie pajamas.
But really, the thing is the stories in this book are bound to hit you in one way or another because, during the holidays, we are all prone to come kind of Christmastime bat shittery. There's always that one relative that no one wants to deal with, that one Christmas present that you'd rather feed to a wood chipper and that one party that just gets a little too out of hand for its own good. We all have those stories (or will eventually, just give it time). Notaro just has a knack for self-deprecating humor that says, "You are not alone. Why don't you drink with me?"
It's not blatant or over the top. These stories are just, at their core, absolutely hilarious and they're fueled by Notaro's ability to spin a yarn into an ugly sweater with blinking lights. And one of them's out. If you have a chance to read any of her books, I'd highly recommend them. I've yet to meet one I haven't liked.
January 8, 2008
I got this last Christmas and saved it whole year so I might savor some Notaro goodness in the season to come. Ms. Notaro is one of the few authors that gets me laughing out loud and I love her stuff.
March 26, 2017
So funny. I read this book in one night and laughed so hard I cried and got a stitch in my side. When Christmas rolls around you have to read this book. You'll never see the holidays the same way again.
July 5, 2019
I'll just leave this here: Picture shopping for feminine hygiene products...at KMart...on Christmas Eve...
December 18, 2007
Standard Notaro, and probably one of the reasons I'm not a huge fan of her writing, although I'm a big fan of hers. I love subtle humor, sarcasm, dark humor, but I'm not always so much a fan of a book that grabs you by the collar, shaking you and screaming, "Aren't I funny, goddamnit!?" I find that many of Notaro's books do just that.
This is a book of humorous tales from the holidays centered around Laurie's family and friends, including her long suffering husband, her mom, and her best friends in Arizona. The stories are amusing, but they're just not my kind of humor. My sister, however, thinks they're brilliant. So go figure! :-)
This is a book of humorous tales from the holidays centered around Laurie's family and friends, including her long suffering husband, her mom, and her best friends in Arizona. The stories are amusing, but they're just not my kind of humor. My sister, however, thinks they're brilliant. So go figure! :-)
December 24, 2017
#readingchallenge2017 (my book with a holiday/season in the title)
Reading ALL of Laurie’s novels during my high school years, I was a huge fan of hers, as the stories felt relate-able; letting me know I’m not the only one with a crazed family and a few extra pounds.
Though, as I re-read her novels in my adulthood, the humor has begun to fad. The theme didn’t flow throughout the novel, the humor wasn't subtle, but instead felt slammed down my throat over the top, "aren't I funny?!"
The novel read like some loud person at a party yelling un-funny stories at you, but you can’t ask them to stop because they’re the bosses wife.
Reading ALL of Laurie’s novels during my high school years, I was a huge fan of hers, as the stories felt relate-able; letting me know I’m not the only one with a crazed family and a few extra pounds.
Though, as I re-read her novels in my adulthood, the humor has begun to fad. The theme didn’t flow throughout the novel, the humor wasn't subtle, but instead felt slammed down my throat over the top, "aren't I funny?!"
The novel read like some loud person at a party yelling un-funny stories at you, but you can’t ask them to stop because they’re the bosses wife.
November 13, 2017
Tis the season for a funny Christmas book. I am always looking for laugh out loud books to read -they are so hard to come by! This one was amusing in parts. I think I even laughed once, but it was downright ridiculous in others. Mostly a book of short happenings around Christmas -not a story throughout. A very quick read - which is what I was looking for since I am really waiting for Tuesday when Artemis comes out! 2.6stars from me.
December 2, 2018
I always laugh out loud when I am reading Laurie's books. This one didn't disappoint. Who doesn't want to laugh about the tension that the holidays bring. If you are looking for a book that helps you feel like it isn't only your family that is crazy or that you aren't the only one about to snap -- this is it. A tonic for our times--that is the stressful, joyful holidays.
December 26, 2013
I first discovered Laurie Notaro a few years ago while browsing a used book store. I stumbled upon her first book. The back cover looked quirky and fun so I decided to give it a whirl. I read it in a day, laughing out loud hysterically the entire time. I told all my friends about it and thought this woman is brilliantly hilarious. However, through the years as I occasionally read her other books, I am disappointed in the fact that she is less and less funny every time. And by the time I got to "An Idiot Girl's Christmas", which I thought surely would be a cackle-filled Christmas read, I was more annoyed by Notaro with each page I turned.
Her "true" tales in this one are filled with everything and everyone you expect with Notaro. Outrageous and humiliating situations, her cute and quirky husband, her wacky nanna, her cheap mother, and redneck neighbours. Luckily this one is all holiday themed. Granted, not all the stories are new (come on Laurie, I can't imagine you couldn't come up with a few new ones instead). We have a tampon KMart story, a ridiculous letter to friends and family, and countless tales of holiday arrests and strange gifts.
What drove me nuts is I feel like Laurie makes half this crap up. I know in comedy a writer or comedian takes true tales and embellishes. But Laurie is over the top in her delivery of the story. The basic situations are funny enough, but the random outrageous details make most of these WAYYYYYYYY unbelievable. She also tries sooo hard to be edgy and hipster and cutting edge. Not only is it fake, but half the stuff (especially the made up stuff) isn't even a little funny. She was hilarious how she was originally, and now she tries much too hard. It's almost uncomfortable to read because it is oh so forced! I literally groaned out loud sometimes and said "UUGHHHH THIS NEVER HAPPENED!!!" If she left some of her white lies out, she'd have a much better book.
I decided I no longer want to read Laurie Notaro. I went from loving her, to liking her, to annoyance, and I really don't want it to get any worse than that. I will no longer suggest her books to people and will just fondly remember the stories back when Laurie Notaro was actually funny.
Her "true" tales in this one are filled with everything and everyone you expect with Notaro. Outrageous and humiliating situations, her cute and quirky husband, her wacky nanna, her cheap mother, and redneck neighbours. Luckily this one is all holiday themed. Granted, not all the stories are new (come on Laurie, I can't imagine you couldn't come up with a few new ones instead). We have a tampon KMart story, a ridiculous letter to friends and family, and countless tales of holiday arrests and strange gifts.
What drove me nuts is I feel like Laurie makes half this crap up. I know in comedy a writer or comedian takes true tales and embellishes. But Laurie is over the top in her delivery of the story. The basic situations are funny enough, but the random outrageous details make most of these WAYYYYYYYY unbelievable. She also tries sooo hard to be edgy and hipster and cutting edge. Not only is it fake, but half the stuff (especially the made up stuff) isn't even a little funny. She was hilarious how she was originally, and now she tries much too hard. It's almost uncomfortable to read because it is oh so forced! I literally groaned out loud sometimes and said "UUGHHHH THIS NEVER HAPPENED!!!" If she left some of her white lies out, she'd have a much better book.
I decided I no longer want to read Laurie Notaro. I went from loving her, to liking her, to annoyance, and I really don't want it to get any worse than that. I will no longer suggest her books to people and will just fondly remember the stories back when Laurie Notaro was actually funny.
January 16, 2009
I think I'm done with Notaro for right now. It's not that I didn't enjoy this - I did, in places - but I think I'm getting diminishing returns - less laughter with each subsequent book. I'm also getting sort of tired of Notaro. One book is apparently my recommended yearly dose of her, and now that I've had three times that, I'm definitely feeling like I've overdosed.
The good news is that this book didn't make me flinch the way I Love Everybody did - there's less childishness and less shrieking. Notaro really has refined her voice a lot. It's just that she's kept in some parts I really wish she'd get rid of, and the number one entry on that list is self-deprecation. I have a few friends who can't open their mouths without insulting themselves, and I love them anyway, but talking to them can make me twitch. (And I can insult myself with the best of them, I truly can. I mean, I'm female, of course I can. But I try to keep that from being my primary mode of communication, is all.) Laurie Notaro is just like them - I'm so fat! I'm so clumsy! I'm so dumb! I'm so messy! I'm such a walking disaster of a person! - except here's the thing: she's not my friend. And so, it turns out, I don't love her anyway.
I guess the thing is - I want to laugh with Notaro. Not at her. And after three books, I'm just not doing much of either. Instead, I'm asking myself a lot of depressed questions, like: is this the only way a woman can be funny? By cutting herself down before anyone else gets the chance to?
In short, I need to back away from Laurie Notaro for a while, until I can read her books with more joy than sadness again.
The good news is that this book didn't make me flinch the way I Love Everybody did - there's less childishness and less shrieking. Notaro really has refined her voice a lot. It's just that she's kept in some parts I really wish she'd get rid of, and the number one entry on that list is self-deprecation. I have a few friends who can't open their mouths without insulting themselves, and I love them anyway, but talking to them can make me twitch. (And I can insult myself with the best of them, I truly can. I mean, I'm female, of course I can. But I try to keep that from being my primary mode of communication, is all.) Laurie Notaro is just like them - I'm so fat! I'm so clumsy! I'm so dumb! I'm so messy! I'm such a walking disaster of a person! - except here's the thing: she's not my friend. And so, it turns out, I don't love her anyway.
I guess the thing is - I want to laugh with Notaro. Not at her. And after three books, I'm just not doing much of either. Instead, I'm asking myself a lot of depressed questions, like: is this the only way a woman can be funny? By cutting herself down before anyone else gets the chance to?
In short, I need to back away from Laurie Notaro for a while, until I can read her books with more joy than sadness again.
December 22, 2007
Just finished this funny book. It's a collection of humorous observations and stories about the Christmas season. Although nothing can ever, ever be as hysterical as David Sedaris' Santaland Diaries, I always think it's fun to read something seasonal during December.
While funny, the first two essays rubbed me the wrong way just a little. The first is about bad gifts. I think I'm probably very lucky to come from a family of excellent gift-givers, but this one just seemed a little ungrateful to me. If I were in Laurie Notaro's family and I read this chapter, I'd be pretty tempted just to not get her anything for Christmas ever again. The second is about some ridiculous precautions to prevent drunk driving if you're giving a holiday party. Some of them really were silly, like not letting your friends mix their own drinks and providing safe rides (I'd rather spend my holiday party budget on an awesome cheese plate than a limo service). But, the tone of the piece sort of left me the impression that she'd be perfectly happy to let her friends drive away hammered. Probably not true, but she's a pretty talented writer and she should have found some humorous way to clarify this point.
I enjoyed the pieces very much, especially the one about taking Grandma shopping.
While funny, the first two essays rubbed me the wrong way just a little. The first is about bad gifts. I think I'm probably very lucky to come from a family of excellent gift-givers, but this one just seemed a little ungrateful to me. If I were in Laurie Notaro's family and I read this chapter, I'd be pretty tempted just to not get her anything for Christmas ever again. The second is about some ridiculous precautions to prevent drunk driving if you're giving a holiday party. Some of them really were silly, like not letting your friends mix their own drinks and providing safe rides (I'd rather spend my holiday party budget on an awesome cheese plate than a limo service). But, the tone of the piece sort of left me the impression that she'd be perfectly happy to let her friends drive away hammered. Probably not true, but she's a pretty talented writer and she should have found some humorous way to clarify this point.
I enjoyed the pieces very much, especially the one about taking Grandma shopping.
January 4, 2017
Book club decided it wanted to do something seasonal for December. This was at the top of a Goodreads "Books About Christmas" list and was readily available at the local library and cheap to purchase used online, so we went for it.
I know nothing about Laurie Notaro, but after I finished reading this my assumption was that she's a blogger who got a book contract, because that's how the book read to me. Turns out she's a columnist/essayist (but, I mean, that's not entirely different from what many bloggers do, right?). I'd never read any of her other essay collections, so I'm not sure how this one compares. It was a fun Christmas read: very short, something you can tear through in a night or two. Some essays didn't particularly strike my funny bone, and nothing here had me rolling with laughter. A couple of the essays also seemed only very tangentially related to Christmas and felt more like filler than something that actually belonged here. Overall, though, this was good for getting a jump start on the holiday spirit. I'm not sure that I'm inspired to go pick up more of Notaro's work when there are so many other things I'm interested in reading, but if I stumbled across another one of her books I'd probably pick it up.
I know nothing about Laurie Notaro, but after I finished reading this my assumption was that she's a blogger who got a book contract, because that's how the book read to me. Turns out she's a columnist/essayist (but, I mean, that's not entirely different from what many bloggers do, right?). I'd never read any of her other essay collections, so I'm not sure how this one compares. It was a fun Christmas read: very short, something you can tear through in a night or two. Some essays didn't particularly strike my funny bone, and nothing here had me rolling with laughter. A couple of the essays also seemed only very tangentially related to Christmas and felt more like filler than something that actually belonged here. Overall, though, this was good for getting a jump start on the holiday spirit. I'm not sure that I'm inspired to go pick up more of Notaro's work when there are so many other things I'm interested in reading, but if I stumbled across another one of her books I'd probably pick it up.
December 7, 2007
Somewhat of a dissapointment compared to Notaro's wonderfully witty rolling on the floor peeing myself books. It was sprinkled with far too many stories already published in her other books, and although it was fun to re-visit some of them, I was hoping to read something brand new. I did love "Naughty Or Nice."
February 22, 2008
I generally love her essays - I think they are so funny in a goofy sort of way. This one I think was just more of the same - in all ways as some of the essays are repeated from previous books. This one wasn't not as good as Idiot Girl's Action Adventure Club (which had me literally rolling around on the ground)
February 27, 2008
I know that it's after Christmas, but this was the last Laurie Notaro book that I had to read... This was my least favorite of all of her books. It made me laugh, but I was annoyed that she repeated a few stories from previous books. Why??? If she didn't have enough new material for a whole book, she just should have left it alone.
January 19, 2016
This is the first book by Laurie Notaro that I've read. I now see why some of my friends eagerly await her next book. She is funny without being mean and usually if anyone is "put down" it's herself. In this collection of tales she shares Christmas memories with her family and though she's making fun of them and herself there is some real heartfelt memories shared too often at the same time.
August 26, 2008
Laurie Notaro is a freelance writer for some magazine/newspaper or something, and she's supposed to be really funny. This is her first book I'm reading , and her humor is like Dave Barry's - most of the time it's okay, but there are moments when you laugh really hard.
UPDATE: Funny at times, but doesn't really live up to my expectations. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either.
UPDATE: Funny at times, but doesn't really live up to my expectations. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either.
December 21, 2011
I need a little something light and Christmasy this time of year. Found this at the thrift store, so why not give it a whirl.
It was funny, but not laugh-out-loud, "I need to read this every Christmas" funny. I'm glad I read it and I may try reading her other books again (I tried to read her first one years ago and couldn't stand it, so I stopped after a few chapters).
It was funny, but not laugh-out-loud, "I need to read this every Christmas" funny. I'm glad I read it and I may try reading her other books again (I tried to read her first one years ago and couldn't stand it, so I stopped after a few chapters).
December 8, 2020
This book is damn funny. At 99 pages it's a quick read, I identified with some of the hilarity more than any normal person should. It's up there with Sedaris as funny funny stuff.
If you're going to steal one book this year - make it this one. I always need a laugh around the holidays and some of the stories in this book had me in stitches.
If you're going to steal one book this year - make it this one. I always need a laugh around the holidays and some of the stories in this book had me in stitches.
January 8, 2014
With less than 150 pages filled with short essays ranging from about 4-15 pages in length, An Idiot Girl’s Christmas is an easy read about Notaro’s Christmas memories, perfect for those times when you only have a few minutes here and there to read. Full review at: http://www.justaonegirlrevolution.com...
December 20, 2007
If you read this one around other people, you will WEAR THEM OUT, because you'll want to constantly read the stories out-loud to them. However, my husband actually found them funny - or else he was just being nice - who knows?!
January 16, 2008
All of Laurie Notaro's books are really funny but i was a little disappointed in this collection because there were several stories that i had read before in her other books. still, i'd recommend her for a good laugh.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 322 reviews