Okay boys and mostly girls - let's play a new drinking game, shall we? Every time Roman, the hero of the story says, 'God's blood,' take a shot! Note to self: Make out last will and testament before I die of alcohol poisoning!
Really, how can this be so popular? I listened to this on audio, big mistake I think, because it just draws attention to the dialog so much more. Usually, that's a good thing, but in this case, not so much! At one time near the beginning, I counted 6-7 times Roman says God's blood in like a 5 minute period. Simply ridiculous! This book had me rolling my eyes so much, I just kept thinking, 'it can't get any worse.' Wrong!
First off, Roman is a 500+ year old vampire, (and a physical virgin, if not a mental virgin - please don't ask, it's too weird for words) who is a former monk, and feels he's a 'demon from hell.' (Note, this phrase can be substituted for the drinking game, however I would not add it, otherwise, you might as well drink the Mississippi!) He's created artificial blood so vamps can stop killing the mortals and save their lives. But he's the worst person/vampire in the world because he has done bad things. After 500 years, you'd figure this guy would have let it go, just a little. But not Roman. Multi-billionaire, creator of thousands of jobs, saver of lives, he's not worthy. Whatever!! It got real old, real fast, and he was not enjoyable to read about. It was a chore, in fact.
Then we have the dentist (really sexy there, lol) Shanna, who is afraid of blood because she saw her best friend get murdered, and is currently in the witness protection program and the Russians who have been wanting to kill her have found her, conviently on the same night (in an all night dental clinic - do those even exist?) that Roman has had a fang pop out after biting a blow-up sex doll. No freakin' joke folks! I am not making this up. Of course Roman saves her, and even though she's supposively wary of strangers, she goes with him willingly. People are out to kill her and she jumps in a car with two men she's never seen, one who wants her to put a 'wolf's tooth,' (another acceptable subsitution for the drinking game) in his mouth. Riiiigghhhtt. Makes perfect sense. Obviously she doesn't realize right away he's some sort of freak, and instantly starts to fall in love with him and cry over all the injustices the world has brought against him. Cue the violins. Then she finds out what he is, and still, she's drawn to him. Woe is her because nothing in her life can be normal, she can't have the normal husband, with the normal career, with the normal 2.4 kids, with the normal house, with the normal white picket fence, with the normal big dog because Russians are out to kill her and she's in love with a vampire who wants to drink her blood, but he's such a good man. Or demon from hell. She can't decide which. I really can't believe this is so popular!
Don't forget her father, who shipped her off to boarding school because she has a pyschic gift to block vampire thoughts like daddy, and is also CIA, in a group designed to kill all vampires (a group of 5 to kill thousands, maybe millions - totally possible) called, get this - Stake Out. Could this get any cornier? Daddy doesn't want her to be with vampires obviously, don't know why he hates them so, other than that they are, say it all with me, 'demons from hell.' But Shanna is convinced Daddy Dearest will come around soon. And she loves him, but doesn't want to become a vampire. Since this is where it stops and it's a series, it will be interesting to see where this will go. Yes, I will probably read the next one, whenever I need something utterly ridiculous to make me question my sanity, so probably in a few weeks.
So why 2 stars and not 1? Well, the premise of the book is really quite funny, and it did make me laugh. In fact, this whole book made me laugh! And groan, and smack my forehead, and question my sanity. But whatever, it was so corny, I couldn't not read, like a bad train wreck, you just can't look away. The dialogue is silly, and often repeats what the character has just thought, so the repitition gets old. After 3 days, they decide to get married. I hate this when the hero/heroine have no prior connections. I did like the highlanders, and I'm hoping one of them gets the next book, because who doesn't love a sexy authentic highlander in a kilt, who's also a vampire! I also like Gregorio, Lazlo and their mother, Redinko. Hopefully they will be featured more in the next one. If you want to drive yourself nuts, go for it!! This will be lots of fun!