It starts with Jane recalling how she’d been the luckiest girl in the world before her luck changed. I perked up as I read about her best friend Jebediah, the housekeeper's son. He taught her how to throw manure at carriages and spit. They had throwing contests with boys and she threw a rotten apple and hit the perfect, prissy girl in the chest. Except he wasn’t the hero.
Sally turned into a bully because of it, said Jane killed her mom and her mom didn't want a daughter like her, made fun of her house, until a guy came in and "declared" he'd never seen a finer house. He was William, her dad's apprentice. He also commented "That's a nice piece of pie you have there." He says shabby houses are the finest and compliments pie. Not only is that unrealistic, it's weird.
Jane went on and on about his perfection, and she literally used that word to describe him. Elegant nose and the perfect shape of his earlobes. That’s insulting to girls.
William was embarrassed of people's reactions to her. She was a mess with stained clothing and tangled hair. He told her she needed to become a proper young lady and Jane was on it, followed Sally wherever she went and enrolled herself in school. She was always telling him what she learned, all those boring rules, when he clearly didn't like her the way she was but wanted her to change. At least her dad asked if the school was turning her into a useless woman who cares for nothing but clothes. He was always asking what she thought and wanted her to speak her mind.
William was so clearly the wrong choice but stupid Jane couldn't see it, blinded by his looks. Even worse, Jebediah wasn't mentioned again. William announced suddenly that he was leaving the next day for the frontier. They wrote to each other and eventually he asked her to marry him, and she pitched a fit with her dad until he finally agreed. I was so annoyed with her.
I had a problem with Jane saying she was fat and learning in school that women's cheeks should be hollow and waist small. But on the voyage she said her hip bones jutted out and it had helped her waist, her cheeks were hollow and her breasts had shrunk to bumps. Some girls are naturally this size with hip bones that stick out and small breasts and waists so you shouldn't use that as an example of unhealthiness. Some of us can't help it.
Jehu Scudder is the first mat and has a jagged scar on his face. He self-consciously touched it as she came aboard. He asked why she was making the trip and wasn't impressed when she said William's a surgeon in the timber business. The ship bucked and she fell into him. He held her steady and she remembered her lessons not to let a guy touch her. But before she could move she got sick on his boots. Why do people do this? What is funny about her puking on him? It's disgusting.
There was a missionary on board saying savages were the most unfortunate of God's creatures. Jane felt savages were more fortunate because at least they were on land. Mary said she felt bad for them because they'd be bored to death before they were converted. That is not ok. Calling them savages negates standing up for them.
One day she was on deck and the captain got mad and Jehu said he'd take responsibility for her. Jehu learned Mary was sick and at night he came into their cabin when Jane was only in her nightdress. Jane noticed how blue his eyes were. He asked if she could cook and looked disappointed that she couldn't. Another night he came in when her hair was down and she was combing it and had a strange expression on his face.
I was beyond irritated that the young cabin boy, Samuel, died during the storm. But when Mary died I wanted to lose it. She was the best character hands down, funny and sensible. I wanted her to be the heroine, not the dumb, naive, stupid Jane. I wish she'd died and we'd had a lead change. When Jane had gone out to help with Samuel, she left Mary with Father and Sturgis, the drunk surgeon. When she got back they told her Mary hit her head. Jane started screaming because women are crazy. We always lose our shit and go off the deep end and snap like psychos. She blamed Sturgis for her death and tried to attack him. Jehu grabbed her and held on and she started crying that she'd left Mary. Women are always hysterical creatures who lash out at the slightest occurrence. Not that I missed reading "Jane my girl." I was sick of Mary saying that to Jane, multiple times in a conversation.
When they arrived in the city where William lived, Jehu came to stand beside her and said she had a lot of green dresses. When she told him William said she looks beautiful in green, he got sarcastic. His eyes were hooded as he said he thought she'd look better in blue.
Jane was going down the ladder and her skirt blew up and showed her legs. Jehu asked if she was trying to impress the locals. Jehu picked her up and carried her to shore.
Her portrayal of Native Americans didn't improve. She kept calling them savages, said they had broad noses and flat foreheads. She'd expected the chief to have a sharp nose, war paint, and a necklace of human teeth. She saw a baby in a cradle board and told Mr. Swan the mother was torturing it. I guess it was supposed to be funny that the baby was fast asleep. She asked if one of the savages could draw her a bath. She was surprised that Indians bathe more than whites. She didn't want to be left alone with them.
"I entertained little hope of proper conversation from such ignorant creatures. They didn't even have enough sense not to go around half-naked."
This is one of those books where the author employs the tactic of having a spoiled brat character who is judgmental and annoying, for humor's sake. It's supposed to be funny that she goes around saying all these mean, prejudiced things. I don't want to have to wait for the heroine to realize how bitchy and prejudiced she is. She made me hate her past the point of redemption. There's no way I was ever going to like her.
It was interesting that most of the settlers spoke a mixture of Chinook, English, and French in that area.
William was away on business and since he didn't receive her letter he thought she'd changed her mind. He didn't even have a house, like I knew would happen. He'd been sharing a cabin with others. Ms Prim and Proper got all upset and kept asking a million ?s. She was really getting on my nerves. If that wasn't bad enough, when she was standing in the cabin losing it over the sleeping arrangements in front of all the men, a handsome young Native American came in. She'd never seen such a handsome man in her life, except William, "of course," even though he was a hazy memory. She stared and blushed like a ninny, commented aloud that his name Handsome Jim suits him. I expected Jehu to be jealous or mad, but he just snorted.
A cow ate all her dresses and she screamed for Handsome Jim to shoot it. I guess it was supposed to be funny that she wanted an animal put to death over a stupid dress. She had to trade Suis, the chief's wife, for clothes. Suis demanded her corset for a skirt that comes above the knee and a blouse. When Jane stepped out Mr. Swan said she looked improved and Jehu admiringly said she looked beautiful. She didn't deserve it.
She asked for a messenger to find William and bring him back. The chief recommended his nephew, Yelloh. He had a nose ring which earned Jane's instant disapproval and judgment. "I was having a hard time considering anyone who had a ring in his nose as capable of much of anything. The fellow couldn't even sneeze. How could he find William?"
Toke had a celebration for them and I was super pissed when he said in front of everyone that Jane was more beautiful in the Chinook dress. Of course everyone has to think this little bitch is beautiful. Suis got mad. How cruel to make her overhear her husband compliment this little brat.
Mr. Russel said she was useless and I heartily agreed. It's always bad when a side character puts the heroine down and you applaud them because she deserves it. He told her she needed to start earning her keep and pitching in. The only things she said she could do were the list of useless shit from the girl's school, like embroidering and sending out invitations. He told her to get coffee and she was all too happy to pour it, not realizing he meant make it. When she attempted to do so, she didn't clean out the grinder like he told her to, so it tasted like pepper because that's what was last in there. All the men choked and that was one more thing that was supposed to be funny but wasn't. I've read books like this where authors keep having the heroines screw up and be ignorant and klutzy, and I hate them. Ignorance is never funny.
Jehu announced that he was leaving suddenly. He told her if she needed anything at all to send word. Jane completely ruined it by asking him to tell William she's here if he saw him.
Jane turned into the little homemaker. She started cooking with Mary's recipes, making pillows and curtains, tidying up, and decorating the house. Because like Miss Hepplewhite says, homes are supposed to be a miniature of heaven. And Jane has to live by Miss Hepplewhite's rules.
Jane moved in with Mr. Swan and the roof caved in and she got Handsome Jim to help. He asked why she wanted to marry William because everyone likes her. She said he's very handsome and Jim said many men are more handsome. He was shirtless and she admired his chest, "a thing of glory." Shut the hell up, Jane. I couldn't believe she was loyal to William when she was attracted to so many men and thought Jim was the handsomest person she'd seen. He said she was quiet about her beauty. She asked why Suis didn't like her and he said Suis had been the most beautiful before but now "all men watch you" and she's jealous. Come the f on! Who the hell can relate to being the most beautiful woman in the town, that every man wants. Why do you think we're going to like a character like this? Jane, go die.
I was so happy that Jehu came back. He asked her to dance and Jane was sure she saw Mary dancing. She'd been seeing Mary all over the place. Once she woke up to find Mary eating her pie (because Jane had to be good at one more thing. Her salmonberry pies were the talk of the area). When she was rushing down the canoe she saw Mary holding out her hand to her. Didn't know this was paranormal...
Jane wondered what William would think of her, dancing and being in business and wearing Indian clothes. Jehu said if he didn't love her he's a fool. She wanted to be alone with him. She asked how he got the scar and he told her his dad had hit him when he told him he wanted to be a sailor and not a farmer. He kissed her and called her sweet Jane. Of course she ruined it because she's Jane and she's a stupid little bitch. She ran away and of course fell down a cliff, Jehu telling her to watch out but this moron thinks it's okay to run off in the dark. This had to happen because women are hysterical, frail, stupid creatures who constantly do stupid things that get them hurt.
He was there when she woke up. Mr. Russel said Jehu's been beside himself. They were alone and Jehu held her hand. She told him it was a mistake and he said it was the best mistake he'd ever made. Jane told him she was spoken for and he got mad and said it's a man who couldn't be bothered to meet her and abandoned her on the frontier.
It was funny that Father Joseph tried to teach them and Handsome Jim said their god is very bad because he tried to kill his son. Joseph realizes he couldn't teach them.
This loser settler visited, clearly sick though Jane missed it. She served him food and he came onto Suis, so they all sent him away. The tribe took sick and Suis and her daughter Sootie and Handsome Jim took sick. Suis died and I was beyond pissed off. Yet another woman who deserved life died while we're stuck with this undeserving bitch who deserved to die. Jane had to be the only one standing I guess. I f'ing hate this kind of story. It's the freaking worst.
Jehu had gone to captain a ship and William came, putting her down and chastising her as usual, telling her how things would be. He wanted to be married in a week. He told her she was going to get a new wardrobe and quit her oyster business. An Indian girl was following them around and she knew she had something to do with William. Go ahead and throw other woman drama in here because this didn't have enough shit already. She finally asked William who it was and he said she thinks she's his wife. He had to marry to receive the most land and he thought Jane changed her mind. Stupid Jane realized how foolish she'd been not to see his true character.
She told him the girl was his wife and he left with her. I would have been more impressed had she given up on William after she realized he’d lied to her about having a home. I would have respected her a tad had she realized Jehu was the better choice and broken it off with William instead of insisting on holding on to this years’ long infatuation with a guy who didn’t like her as she was and only approved when she did what he said. The only reason she finally ended it wasn’t because he immediately tried to control he as soon as he saw her; it was because he was already married. It shouldn’t have taken that for her to end it. So she still sucks.
She was going home. Handsome Jim was upset and stormed off. Sootie didn't understand and thinks she's coming back. Jane realized she didn't look like the pale, thin girl who came from Philadelphia. Jehu called her name from the rowboat. He'd come back after all, after saying he wouldn't.
She realized she was Jane of Philadelphia and Jane of Shoalwater Bay, maybe you make your luck as her dad says. And that's where it ended. No interaction with Jehu, no confession of feelings. I'd waited the whole book for this dumbass to realize how mean and stupid she'd been, to get back to being outspoken and stop caring about appearance and etiquette. She never did. Her dad never came back in the story. She didn't even arrive home. I saw this is a series and I can't imagine reading about this vain, vapid, prejudiced airhead of a girl again. When someone lets themselves be controlled, completely changes themselves, for a guy, I’m not going to respect them or like them. It's too bad, because I really liked Jehu. But the first book ended and she hadn't even changed, so I'm sure she won't change in the next either and I'll hate her all over again. I saw it's on my to-read list and if I read the 2nd one to see where it goes with Jehu, I'm gonna need to wait a long time so I can forget this one.