Like Colour to the Blind: Soul Searching and Soul Finding

by Donna Williams

In Like Colour to the Blind, Donna Williams enters the most exposing and fragile realm of human her relationship and eventual marriage with someone with whom she can 'simply be', a relationship she terms a 'specialship'. But loving involves exposure, and to love she must expose the very things which protected her all her life - the masks she has hidden behind, the patchwork creations which stood in place of self. In Donna's relationship with Ian, a man with difficulties related to her own, we watch the two of them break through their rock-solid emotional barriers and dare to defy all the rules imposed by the autistic condition of 'exposure anxiety'. Their struggle is told with Donna's characteristic humour, insight and sense of fragility. Like Colour to the Blind is also the story of Alex, who was misdiagnosed as 'retarded' as well as autistic, and so gripped by 'exposure anxiety' that he has been virtually non-communicative all his life. Alex's fear of being left behind by Donna and Ian inspires him to push fiercely beyond the boundaries of his limitations and, in his own words, `to fly'.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Psychology, Memoir, Autobiography, Biography

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

Donna Williams is the author of Nobody Nowhere: The Extraordinary Autobiography of an Autistic, in which she tells of her lifelong battle with autism -- a developmental disorder originating in infancy and characterized by self-absorption, repetitive and rigidly structured behavior, language dysfunction, and an inability to interact socially. Williams depicts in her book a world of disembodied color, pattern, and sound. At times she would madly rub her eyes and withdraw into "bright spots of fluffy color," attempting to escape what she called the "intrusive gabble" of other people. Torn between a dread of physical contact and a desire for emotional connection, Williams would often beat herself then assume a fetal position. "Hurting herself," as New York Times Book Review contributor Daniel Goleman relates, "or doing shocking things ... were ways to reassure herself that she did indeed exist."

Goleman explains that books such as Williams's provide a valuable insight into an unfamiliar world, "revealing to outsiders that what may seem bizarre and unpredictable follows its own internal logic, however strange." Writing for the Los Angeles Times Book Review, Chris Goodrich found that Williams "proves herself to be rigorously analytical and remarkably free of self-pity, despite a life fraught with fear, pain, and misunderstanding." Nobody Nowhere was written by Williams in her efforts to better understand her world. Only upon the advice of two therapists familiar with autism did Williams decide to publish her writings. Goleman noted that the work provides "a fascinating testimony to an intelligence undimmed by mental turmoil," while Goodrich proclaimed that "Nobody Nowhere is as brave a book as you'll ever read."

Williams told CA: "Autism is not a 'mental disorder' anymore than it is a communication, social, perceptual, or neurological disorder. It is a pervasive development disorder (PDD) affecting many areas of development. It is not a mental illness, nor is it synonymous with mental retardation."

Source: Contemporary Authors Online, Gale, 2003.
Source Database: Contemporary Authors
PEN (Permanent Entry Number): 0000115308

Reviews

[Bethany B · Rating 4 out of 5]

My takeaway: Deconstructing what we've been told to love and exploring and discovering free of expectations what we truly love, enjoy and desire. I don't recommend reading the epilogue for a while after reading the book because it turns the very sweetness of the ending too sour, too jarring of a change.

[Tricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book details what it is like to be autistic. The author was misdiagnosed as a child and I understand that this used to happen a lot. In this book Williams discusses her relationship with Ian, another person with autism. They both had a number of challenges to be together.

I was saddened to hear of the author passing away recently and can't help but think what a difference her books have had on raising the awareness of autism.

This was an interesting book but it was a hard read. The book went all over the place, but I guess that is how the author's mind works. I would recommend it, particularly to those wanting to understand the condition better.

[Alex Ankarr · Rating 5 out of 5]

sublime and fierce and dreamlike.

[Michiyo 'jia' Fujiwara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bersimbah pelu dan air mata, Donna Williams telah melepaskan belenggu autisme. Tetapi, berjuangannya belum berakhir. Tantangan baru muncul, dan ia berusaha untuk mengalahkannya dengan segala cara dan sekuat tenaga: pertahanan-pertahanan dirinya yang selalu mengemuka.

Dengan upaya keras mengalahkan pertahanan-pertanahan diri ini pula, Donna memutuskan untuk menikah dengan Ian, seorang pria dengan masalah sama dengan dirinya. Berdua, bagaikan sepasang burung camar, mereka berusaha untuk merengkuh makna "dunia".

Di dalam "Sayap-Sayap Pelangi: Kisah Gadis Autik Mencari dan Menemukan Jiwa", memoarnya yang ketiga ini, Donna Williams mengisahkan bagaimana dia berusaha menang dalam pertempurannya. Dia juga mengajak kita menyadari bahwa untuk dapat bahagia, kita tidak perlu menjadi khusus bagi orang lain. Cukuplah menjadi Khusus bagi diri sendiri.

Donna Williams (Buku Ketiga Memoar Donna Williams)
Sayap-Sayap Pelangi
Kisah gadis austistik mencari dan menemukan jiwa
Penerjemah: Lala Herawati Dharma
Penyunting: Maria M. Lubis
ISBN 979-3269-24-3
Cetakan I, Desember 2004
Diterbitkan oleh Penerbit Qanita

[Rosalind M · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing style feels choppy and disconnected at times, but the glimpse into the author's gradual understanding of how fragmented her perception of the world is versus the world non-autistic people experience is thought-provoking. The defenses she developed to cope with the outside world are defenses that all of us use to a lesser degree, hiding behind polite or acceptable facades in order to be "accepted". The struggles she has to work through to overcome those defenses involve self-examination that most people will never realize they might need.

[Sheila Pritchard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating! I learned so much about autism - or at least as it was experienced by Donna and her partner. Great courage and determination shown by them both in working so hard to let go/push through so many compulsions, obsessions, perceptual difficulties. I admire them and others like them with much more awareness now.
I even gained personal insight about my own tendency sometimes to choose what I have "been told" is what I "should" want instead of checking "Is that what I myself truly want right now?"

[Dora Raymaker · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did like this book, but Somebody Somewhere remains my favorite, and the Williams book I most recommend. I found this book a bit repetitive in places, although in general the writing was still high quality. My opinion may simply be because I related less personally to the content. I think I enjoyed the sub-story with Alex best.

[Iamshadow · Rating 2 out of 5]

Though the main events in this book were interesting (her short lived marriage to Paul, another person on the spectrum, her getting her Irlen lenses, and her friendship with a non-verbal Autistic teen), the writing style was a bit confusing. I found myself struggling at times with the 'flow' of the book.

[Weasel · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

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