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Red Carpet Suicide: A Survival Guide on Keeping Up With the Hiltons
The tell-all book that strikes fear in the heart of every celebrity- now in paperback!
Perez Hilton-self-proclaimed "Queen of All Media" and founder of PerezHilton.com-cuts loose with a book that should secure his reputation as "the most hated man in Hollywood" ( Rolling Stone ). The best it's hysterically funny-and every psycho-celeb revelation is shockingly true.
Now the man behind the website infamous for breaking raw superstar dish and jaw-dropping commentary lends his fearless voice, notorious sense of humor, and outrageous sensibility to Red- Carpet Suicide , a generation-defining, hilarious survival guide.
Perez Hilton-self-proclaimed "Queen of All Media" and founder of PerezHilton.com-cuts loose with a book that should secure his reputation as "the most hated man in Hollywood" ( Rolling Stone ). The best it's hysterically funny-and every psycho-celeb revelation is shockingly true.
Now the man behind the website infamous for breaking raw superstar dish and jaw-dropping commentary lends his fearless voice, notorious sense of humor, and outrageous sensibility to Red- Carpet Suicide , a generation-defining, hilarious survival guide.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 6, 2008
5 people are currently reading
200 people want to read
About the author
Pérez Hilton
7 books30 followersMario Armando Lavandeira Jr. is an American blogger and television personality. His blog is Perezhilton.com (formerly PageSixSixSix.com), which he writes under the pseudonym Pérez Hilton. On his website Lavandeira posts gossip items about musicians, actors and celebrities. His posts are delivered with an irreverent and sometimes cruel slant. He often posts tabloid photographs over which he has added his own captions or "doodles." His blog has garnered both positive and negative attention for its brash attitude, its active "outing" of closeted homosexual celebrities and for its role in the increasing coverage of celebrities in all forms of media.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
May 14, 2009
IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, THEN DO NOT
READ THIS
!!
OK, that joke was probably too obvious. Anyway, I had grandiose ambitions to read Sophie's World and learn about the history of philosophy, but....I ended up reading this instead. I think it's more of a 3 1/2 stars for me.
It's basically a book-length version of what he talks about every day on his website, perezhilton.com: celebrities, particularly the ones who are "famous for being famous", like Paris Hilton (from whom he derived his nom de plume). He talks about the self-perpetuating relationship between paparazzi, the media, celebrities, and the gossip-insatiable public, particularly the kinds of actions that these kinds of celebrities (whom he deems "hiltons") engage in in order to enhance their fame. There are hilarious zingers like:
"Charity without press coverage is like peeing yourself in black pants: it gives you a nice, warm feeling but no one really notices."
He hits his usual targets, including Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Tara Reid, and many others from the present day (and some from the past).
You probably should be familiar with his website in order to achieve maximum comprehension of this book (e.g., know who "Zacquisha" is).
If you want to read this book, I suggest you do it now, because in a couple of years, you probably won't remember who most of these people are anymore.
OK, that joke was probably too obvious. Anyway, I had grandiose ambitions to read Sophie's World and learn about the history of philosophy, but....I ended up reading this instead. I think it's more of a 3 1/2 stars for me.
It's basically a book-length version of what he talks about every day on his website, perezhilton.com: celebrities, particularly the ones who are "famous for being famous", like Paris Hilton (from whom he derived his nom de plume). He talks about the self-perpetuating relationship between paparazzi, the media, celebrities, and the gossip-insatiable public, particularly the kinds of actions that these kinds of celebrities (whom he deems "hiltons") engage in in order to enhance their fame. There are hilarious zingers like:
"Charity without press coverage is like peeing yourself in black pants: it gives you a nice, warm feeling but no one really notices."
He hits his usual targets, including Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Tara Reid, and many others from the present day (and some from the past).
You probably should be familiar with his website in order to achieve maximum comprehension of this book (e.g., know who "Zacquisha" is).
If you want to read this book, I suggest you do it now, because in a couple of years, you probably won't remember who most of these people are anymore.
January 4, 2009
Yes, I admit that I'm a huge fan of Perez and that I read his website frequently. I have a thing for knowing what's going on with who in Hollywood. It's a guilty pleasure. I know I shouldn't care but do. This book is Perez's first book and it shows sometimes. I still liked it a lot though. There are three sections to this book. The first section is how to become a hilton. He defines a hilton for you and tells you what you can do to be one. The first part of this section is hilarious. I caught myself laughing out loud. Towards the end of this section however it gets boring. It's almost like Perez loses his steam or is trying too hard or something. The second section of this book is about the future of all the hiltons and their kids. Well I was back in the floor laughing about Suri's, Shiloh's and Maddox's futures. Not to mention what he thinks will happen to Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan. The last section is about him. How he got where he is today. That part was ok. I felt it was a little long and Perez was making himself be important but that's ok. It's his book. Overall, I found this book to be pure Perez and it's very funny. I would recommend it to anyone that has read his website or anyone interested in making fun of celebrities.
November 2, 2009
Okay, I admit that I picked this up because I'm terribly fascinated by the trashiest of gossip mags & blogs. i was hoping against hope that this book might have the secrets Perez can't post on his blog, but the secret gossip I hoped for was not in this book. Maybe he really posts everything fit to print. The gossip in this book is all old news. Some of the stories are presented in a new and hilarious manner (Jen Aniston's alleged pot smoking, for example). So, if you can get past the often misogynist and usually transphobic diarrhea that just runs out of his brain and into the keyboard, and you can just appreciate his faggy Cubano shit-talking, this is a marginally entertaining read. I did LOL & read select passages aloud, so whatever.
There is a step-by-step plan here for the sort of aimless, talentless sort of "celebrity" that plagues us today, like people who are famous only for being on a painfully bad reality tv show, for example, or having famous parents. Perez's theory goes that Paris Hilton was the first of the heiress celebuskanks, she sets the standard and still functions as top tier "rich, beautiful, talentless hack." They didn't break the mold when they made Paris, though. That mold keeps pumping them out, and every two months we have a new generation of predictable, "wild" Hollywood youth to follow through crash diets, addiction, "relationships", sex tapes, and rehab.
There's something post-modernish about Perez's obsession and dedication to celebrity, though. I mean, he follows his own prescription to a frightening degree, so you're like, Is he in on the joke? Is he serious, or is he referencing some larger joke that's just outside the scope of any singular joke about hollywood's rich, beautiful talentless hacks? Am I in on the joke? Am I the joke? Is there actually a joke, or has society really devolved to this point? It's like his book is 1/2 shit-talking and 1/2 memoir, or maybe the shit-talking & the memoir are one and the same?
There is a step-by-step plan here for the sort of aimless, talentless sort of "celebrity" that plagues us today, like people who are famous only for being on a painfully bad reality tv show, for example, or having famous parents. Perez's theory goes that Paris Hilton was the first of the heiress celebuskanks, she sets the standard and still functions as top tier "rich, beautiful, talentless hack." They didn't break the mold when they made Paris, though. That mold keeps pumping them out, and every two months we have a new generation of predictable, "wild" Hollywood youth to follow through crash diets, addiction, "relationships", sex tapes, and rehab.
There's something post-modernish about Perez's obsession and dedication to celebrity, though. I mean, he follows his own prescription to a frightening degree, so you're like, Is he in on the joke? Is he serious, or is he referencing some larger joke that's just outside the scope of any singular joke about hollywood's rich, beautiful talentless hacks? Am I in on the joke? Am I the joke? Is there actually a joke, or has society really devolved to this point? It's like his book is 1/2 shit-talking and 1/2 memoir, or maybe the shit-talking & the memoir are one and the same?
January 13, 2009
Going into this, I actually was not a fan of Perez, but my friend told me I had to read this book. It made me feel better to know that Perez does not consider himself to be a "celebrity" and he really knows his stuff. This book made some pretty good points and had me laughing out loud more than I have in a book in a long time! I read it in about two days. Definitely a quick, fun read for anyone who has any interested in the world of celeb gossip!
May 5, 2009
I used to love Perez but now I hardly ever read his site. He has become the people (fame-whores)he writes about and that doens't make for biting satire, it makes for less snark and more ass kissin. I just started this but after the forward I wanted to put it down. He has a forward that is supposedly written by Andy Warhol from heaven about Perez and this site. You Perez are no Andy Warhol.
June 12, 2009
Wasn't sure what I was getting into when I started to read this book. I love the Perez Hilton website, but this book was just stupid. Basically it was telling people how to be a diva, not to eat food (diet of drugs and alcohol and how to become a celebrity. Nothing I have any interest in becoming. Safe to say that ths book went right back to the library the next day. So dumb.
February 8, 2009
Funny but stupid.
Nothing you haven't heard before.
Nothing you haven't heard before.
July 9, 2017
A quick, trashy guilty pleasure read.
This book came out in 2009, back before Perez decided he should stop bullying the celebrities he features on his site...aka referring to Tara Reid as Tired Reid, calling Lindsay Lohan LezLo or Lindsay Blowhan...etc and drawing penises on their pictures. A part of me misses that iteration of his site (Yes, I still read it..#noshame) but a part of me doesn't. This served as a nostalgia trip back to that time though.
It was nice that Kim Kardashian wasn't all over the damn book like she would be if it was written today.
This was the perfect way to kill a summer Saturday afternoon and 25 minutes the next morning. Now, back to the library it goes!
This book came out in 2009, back before Perez decided he should stop bullying the celebrities he features on his site...aka referring to Tara Reid as Tired Reid, calling Lindsay Lohan LezLo or Lindsay Blowhan...etc and drawing penises on their pictures. A part of me misses that iteration of his site (Yes, I still read it..#noshame) but a part of me doesn't. This served as a nostalgia trip back to that time though.
It was nice that Kim Kardashian wasn't all over the damn book like she would be if it was written today.
This was the perfect way to kill a summer Saturday afternoon and 25 minutes the next morning. Now, back to the library it goes!
April 4, 2020
I had pretty low expectations going in to this but it was not bad, kind of like reading a gossip magazine. I like that I read this 10 years after it came out, I hadn't even thought about some of these people in years not to mention "oh how things have changed" lol
October 17, 2021
I read /Red Carpet Suicide: A Survival Guide on Keeping Up With the Hiltons/, by Perez Hilton:
https://www.independent.ie/entertainm...
https://www.independent.ie/entertainm...
March 5, 2013
Blurb taken from inside dust jacket cover:
Perez Hilton—self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media,” founder of PerezHilton.com(the country’s largest celebrity blog), and “one of the most polarizing media figures since Howard Stern” (LA Weekly)—cuts loose with a book that should definitely secure his reputation as “the most hated man in Hollywood” (Rolling Stone).
Psycho celebs dominate news, fashion, and trends, influencing how we speak, what we wear, and who we hang out with. We’re obsessed! Our reality-based, gossip-driven world has set the barometer for what’s in or out. So who are we trying to become and how do we become them? Well, post a grainy sex video online, drive high and wasted against oncoming traffic, flash your coochie for the cameras, and if those don’t work, attempt suicide, and you’re bound to become a “Hilton.”
Now the man behind “Hollywood’s most hated Web site”*—infamous for breaking raw superstar dish and jaw-dropping commentary—lends his fearless voice, notorious sense of humor, and outrageous sensibility to “Red Carpet Suicide”, the book celebrities have been looking forward to as much as their next DUI. Making sense of the madness and celebrity addiction that consume us, Perez twists this irresistible and delicious guilty pleasure into a hysterically funny, shockingly true, and generation-defining survival guide.
“So hold on to your hats, bitches. It’s going to be a wild ride.”
*The Insider
This book is in hardcover.
Perez Hilton—self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media,” founder of PerezHilton.com(the country’s largest celebrity blog), and “one of the most polarizing media figures since Howard Stern” (LA Weekly)—cuts loose with a book that should definitely secure his reputation as “the most hated man in Hollywood” (Rolling Stone).
Psycho celebs dominate news, fashion, and trends, influencing how we speak, what we wear, and who we hang out with. We’re obsessed! Our reality-based, gossip-driven world has set the barometer for what’s in or out. So who are we trying to become and how do we become them? Well, post a grainy sex video online, drive high and wasted against oncoming traffic, flash your coochie for the cameras, and if those don’t work, attempt suicide, and you’re bound to become a “Hilton.”
Now the man behind “Hollywood’s most hated Web site”*—infamous for breaking raw superstar dish and jaw-dropping commentary—lends his fearless voice, notorious sense of humor, and outrageous sensibility to “Red Carpet Suicide”, the book celebrities have been looking forward to as much as their next DUI. Making sense of the madness and celebrity addiction that consume us, Perez twists this irresistible and delicious guilty pleasure into a hysterically funny, shockingly true, and generation-defining survival guide.
“So hold on to your hats, bitches. It’s going to be a wild ride.”
*The Insider
This book is in hardcover.
September 18, 2010
Perez Hilton is an icon of our time, regardless if we care to admit it or not. I'm not sure of my personal stance on the man. Sometimes I totally support his choices and so forth and other times I am disgusted by the way he carries out his reports.
Regardless what we think of him chances are he will always be richer then you and I.
As an (ex) reader (okay, really, who am I kidding, I still take a peek at times) of his blog I felt that the book was full of information that I already knew. Things that he had already covered extensively on his website.
Topics that were already beat dead by Hilton were smashed to a pulp in this book leaving me VERY bored at times. I wouldn't suggest this book to anyone offended by rude humor, nor anyone who stays up to date with celebrity gossip.
With all of that being said I do suggest this book if you need a mindless read and need to be reminded that other peoples lives are usually way more fucked up than your own.
Regardless what we think of him chances are he will always be richer then you and I.
As an (ex) reader (okay, really, who am I kidding, I still take a peek at times) of his blog I felt that the book was full of information that I already knew. Things that he had already covered extensively on his website.
Topics that were already beat dead by Hilton were smashed to a pulp in this book leaving me VERY bored at times. I wouldn't suggest this book to anyone offended by rude humor, nor anyone who stays up to date with celebrity gossip.
With all of that being said I do suggest this book if you need a mindless read and need to be reminded that other peoples lives are usually way more fucked up than your own.
December 17, 2012
This was written by old Perez--he of the snarky, watch-your-back-celebrities-nothing-and-no-one-is-safe gossip website--and it's suitably kind of awful and mean because of it. But you can see flashes of the new Perez--the I no longer bully because I was bullied and bullying is awful, also work out and be healthy, k? Perez--and in that sense, this is kind of refreshing because the book gives you a glimpse at how that Perez came to be. It shows a surprising amount of insight into the Hollywood and celebrity culture of today, how ridiculous it is and how anyone can be famous these days, talent or not. How most people are just trying to make it in the big, bad world and how the lure of fame makes you do ridiculous things, just to gain or maintain your fame. Worth a read if you can find it on the cheap.
Read
April 28, 2009As an avid reader of Perez Hilton's website, I felt it was my duty to at least read his book. I had faith that it would be funny since, before becoming a famed gossip journalist he was a graduate of NYU J-school and must have learned something there. It starts out with a premise written by Andy Woorhol and the laughs continue from there. He writes three stages of fame-hood: the beginning (the ten steps to becoming famous in the first place) the middle (where he states, 'so I'm famous, now what?' and the end, where he talks about dying as a way to gain fame as well. It was worth the money to read a book that makes a satirical mess of the things that everyone calls Hollywood and the stars that reside inside it's 'hallowed halls'.
April 25, 2013
I bought this book because it was $2.99. Also, i saw Red Carpet Suicide and thought “hmmm..maybe some good gossip on these douchebag celebs and the stupid things they have done”. Fuckery! Its a satire of how to become a “Hilton”: things like being anorexic and getting dui’s. This book was total horseshit and i just know that Perez thought this shit was just hysterical. A room full of terminal cancer patients is funnier than this “book”. Perez is an unfunny, unoriginal shitbag.
FINAL REVIEW
Buy this book, open it, take a shit in it, and then return it. If the store wont accept it, just let them know you made it better.
FINAL REVIEW
Buy this book, open it, take a shit in it, and then return it. If the store wont accept it, just let them know you made it better.
March 12, 2009
Quizá me voy a echar la soga al cuello por reseñar positivamente un libro como este. Pero es que a mí (que no me gusta el chisme, y no es sarcasmo) leer estas agudas observaciones sobre lo que hace que una estrella sea una "estrella" en un tono gracioso y ácido... no tiene precio. Los nombres son lo de menos, lo que importa es el fenómeno social que ya no sólo abarca a la gente que sale en las pantallas, sino a cualquier otro hijo de vecino. Perez Hilton es un tipo inteligente. Muy inteligente.
October 17, 2009
Snarky, trashy fun for a sick day when you can't focus on a whole movie. For those interested, "the Hiltons" the author refers to are not just the actual Hiltons, but any celebrity that works the tabloid circuit. The last chapter, which is the least sensational, actually has some interesting information about how celebrities work with promoters to get themselves in the tabloids. This business-side of image control (or purposeful lack of it) was probably the only smart part of the book, but it was perfect for my afternoon on the couch.
February 3, 2011
Fans of Perez Hilton's old website may appreciate his snarky book. For me, because the book is now 2 years old, it felt like going back in a time machine to live out the drama all over again when the Hilton's of the world were all any new organization cared about. I'm glad we evolved past that, and enjoyed the trip down memory lane. The bad part? Some of who he talked about are no longer with us, so now it just seems cruel making fun of them (back then though? Truth be told I would have laughed right along with him)...
June 2, 2011
I love this book it is very funny but kind of inappropriate. This book is about every hollywood Hilton heiress and rockstar wanna be's. He uses raunchy humor and bullies every known socialite, he cuts on everyone from Brittany Spears to George Bush. He keeps up with whos on what drugs they use and what they get in trouble for. If you have a problem and walk on the red carpet believe Perezz will be up to no good and will find you. He says whos on what diet and how they do it. He smells scandale from a mile away. Even the Micky Mouse club isnt safe from him.
August 12, 2016
Now, while I think Perez can be annoying at times (though a large part of that is due to his voice), I found this book in my sister's bookcase and thought it sounded kinda funny. Boy, am I glad I read it. I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would and there were some really funny anecdotes and such from Hilton. It's a wonderful read for those days when you just want to be a little bad and read something wonderfully trashy, the type of book you'd usually hide at the back of your shelf. Lots of fun both appropriate and inappropriate, give it a shot. You just might be pleasantly surprised.
May 15, 2009
I need to stick with PerezHilton online and stay away from books. I unabashedly love Perez because I have a pathetic pop-culture curiosity about Britney et al. I want to know what's happening when it's happening. The book is too much of a rehash of info I already know. His final chapter about being a "hilton" himself was the highlight.
March 15, 2010
Entertainingly bitchy! He's soooo fickle. I like that he calls people out for being fake, lying, etc. and the things he puts on their pictures cracks me up! Coke near someone's nose, a penis on someone's face-among other things! I'll have to check out his new book to see if he updated anything, as so many stars that he picked on have died.
February 27, 2009
This book made me laugh and made me feel better about myself. Now I know why I'm not thin--I don't have an eating disorder of some sort, I don't work out like a maniac, and I don't do drugs. So yippee for me.
February 28, 2009
I don't really read Perez Hilton's website because his Paint drawings offend my delicate sensibilities. However, I am an entertainment junkie so I was hoping his book would have all sorts of juicy gossip. It doesn't. And the whole thing was actually really annoying.
April 3, 2009
Yes, it's snide, slightly mean-spirited, and fairly funny! What else could possibly be expected from this book?
What's sad is I find myself plodding through most non-fiction. This took about a day. I must have a tiny brain.
What's sad is I find myself plodding through most non-fiction. This took about a day. I must have a tiny brain.
May 28, 2010
Perez, please stick to blogging. This book was overdone. It was exhausting to hear Perez embellish every small detail. I am so glad that I borrowed this from the library. They will have it back before the due date.
April 16, 2012
There was no point to this book...at all. The end.
Geesh, I was looking for some trashy gossip or funny and snarky tales by Perez, but this book had neither. Not like I expected it to be a book filled with noteworthy facts, but I did expect much more from my fav gossip blogger.
Geesh, I was looking for some trashy gossip or funny and snarky tales by Perez, but this book had neither. Not like I expected it to be a book filled with noteworthy facts, but I did expect much more from my fav gossip blogger.
November 9, 2012
Love Perez and love this book. Perez has changed a lot since writing this book, so this book will seem mean spirited to those who only know new Perez. But don't let that deter you from a good light hearted Hollywood read :)
January 31, 2016
Even though I have an personalized autographed copy, this book should have been a double-issue People Magazine instead. It's a lot of re-hash from his website, which I find wickedly addictive. I'll forego any future books and stick with the website - it's free.
Want to read
December 11, 2008OMG girls! Check check check this!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews