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A Million Versions of Right
Between these covers lies a cornucopia of wonders. Step into a world that defies all logic. One of masturbatory headphones, diabolically toppled comb-jars, moustache-filled ejaculations, malfunctioning bookmarks, bricolage scrotums, wank fairies and a poorly conceived theory regarding wall stability. A world where ball popping is the only solution to the scrotum's poor aesthetic qualities and true love can lead a man to transpose menstruation across gender lines. Not to mention a blink so immensely powerful that mild abrasion can ensue. There's also a lime.Truly some of the strangest stories ever told. In his debut collection Matthew Revert has concocted a bizarre vortex of fiction by turns hilarious, disturbing, thought-provoking and just plain odd. A Million Versions of Right will force you to find logic in the illogic and shun anything resembling common sense.Like the faecal scrawl of a madman without the unpleasant smell
274 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
About the author
Matthew Revert
43 books97 followersMatthew Revert is a writer, musician and graphic designer from Melbourne, Australia.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
July 5, 2016
First of all, the five stars that you see above are deceptive--they don't tell the whole story. The stories in this collection are fun, honest, and seemingly effortless, but at the same time the subject matter might discourage the average reader from giving the book five stars. It's subject matter--on the surface scrotums, genitalia, and wanking--is also deceptive. And perhaps would deter some from calling this book "great" or "literary." But that's what this book is. Fiction always lies in this respect: there is more that is "real" in the author's landscapes of masturbation and wank fairies than there is most nonfiction books.
If you're looking for what to expect, just think about the principal of a school getting his ass licked in his office while inquiring about the permission slips regarding the school "ball-popping" event (just what you think it is!). If you're a fan of scrotum advocacy (yes, you heard me right) or just plain like good story-telling, then you'll like this book.
Other reviewers have noted that this book is warped and twisted. Perhaps.
Revert's charm lies in taking downright silliness serious in the most literary of ways.
If you're looking for what to expect, just think about the principal of a school getting his ass licked in his office while inquiring about the permission slips regarding the school "ball-popping" event (just what you think it is!). If you're a fan of scrotum advocacy (yes, you heard me right) or just plain like good story-telling, then you'll like this book.
Other reviewers have noted that this book is warped and twisted. Perhaps.
Revert's charm lies in taking downright silliness serious in the most literary of ways.
June 17, 2010
It seems that everybody is jumping on the Matthew Revert bandwagon and I can see why. His first collection, A Million Versions of Right is really more of a short novel with a bunch of short stories thrown in for shits and giggles. Revert, an Australian author, jumps right in and vigorously mucks about in the most absurd premises. Yes, much of his work is vulgar and juvenile (okay, that’s a plus in my book). And if you don’t mind stories about scrotum popping, whacking off, mustachioed ejaculations and the like, then you will probably like the unusual fiction of Matthew Revert. But, Revert’s stories aren’t all just elaborate set ups for dick jokes.
The stories in A Million Versions are humorous and well thought out. The main point does not seem to be to shock or gross out the reader (although at certain points the stories may do so). Instead, Revert likes to create outrageous and nonsensical situations (such as bookmarks that do not work or a man’s problems with ejaculating mustachioed tile men) and then see how his characters deal with them. Thus, while some have dubbed him a Bizarro writer, I more consider Mr. Revert to be an absurdist.
Revert’s writing style is fresh and his stories are definitely unique. I felt like his stories and characters were much more fleshed out than a lot of other attempts at absurd fiction that I have seen. Some attempts at strange fiction end up being intriguing ideas that never seem to reach their true potential because of poor writing, failure to fully develop a story, or any other number of problems. Not so with a Million Versions of Right. I really enjoyed most of the stories in the collection. Even the ones that I did not like as much (as is the case with any short story collection), I still found to be better written and funnier than a lot of the stuff out there.
A Million Versions was a great first effort by Matthew Revert. I think that he has the talent to put out some lengthier works and hope that he has a novel or two in his future plans. In the meantime, A Million Versions of Right is highly recommended.
The stories in A Million Versions are humorous and well thought out. The main point does not seem to be to shock or gross out the reader (although at certain points the stories may do so). Instead, Revert likes to create outrageous and nonsensical situations (such as bookmarks that do not work or a man’s problems with ejaculating mustachioed tile men) and then see how his characters deal with them. Thus, while some have dubbed him a Bizarro writer, I more consider Mr. Revert to be an absurdist.
Revert’s writing style is fresh and his stories are definitely unique. I felt like his stories and characters were much more fleshed out than a lot of other attempts at absurd fiction that I have seen. Some attempts at strange fiction end up being intriguing ideas that never seem to reach their true potential because of poor writing, failure to fully develop a story, or any other number of problems. Not so with a Million Versions of Right. I really enjoyed most of the stories in the collection. Even the ones that I did not like as much (as is the case with any short story collection), I still found to be better written and funnier than a lot of the stuff out there.
A Million Versions was a great first effort by Matthew Revert. I think that he has the talent to put out some lengthier works and hope that he has a novel or two in his future plans. In the meantime, A Million Versions of Right is highly recommended.
January 28, 2010
A MILLION VERSION OF RIGHT is a difficult book to describe. It has a lot of the elements of gross-out fiction but there’s something deeper and more disturbing at work. If you quickly gave the synopsis of each story, they’d sound like funny/goofy little tales but they are so much more.
The first story A MILLION VERSIONS OF RIGHT is the most disturbing to me personally. Not sure why… but I’ll never look at tile or mustached guys the same way again. I think the story is supposed to be weird and funny but it turns out to also be downright creepy. Don’t get me wrong, though. I enjoyed it.
THE BRICOLAGE SCROTUM will be a painful story if you’re a guy. It’s also funny but again, there’s an underlying creepiness.
THE GREAT HEADPHONE WANK is not as funny as the previous two stories but is not of any lesser merit. The whole concept (of headphones that only play the sounds of male masturb*tion) is used in an unpredictable way.
MEETING MAX is the longest story and takes place in the Hair District… basically a section of the city that has more barber shops than restaurants. It’s the setting for a truly bizarre story. You think it’s going in one direction and then…. Well, I won’t spoil it. Revert really knows how to create an original world that’s completely absurd though also believable (in a weird way).
POWER BLINK is probably the weakest story in the book. It’s still entertaining, though.
THE BOOKMARK THAT WOULDN’T WORK has a pretty good absurd concept and is a good ending to the book.
Overall, this is an almost unclassifiable collection. The back of the book says it’s “pubic fiction” and that’s probably a good description. These are unique, gross, funny, uncomfortable, honest, and entertaining stories that’ll please those who expect something more from their weird fiction.
The first story A MILLION VERSIONS OF RIGHT is the most disturbing to me personally. Not sure why… but I’ll never look at tile or mustached guys the same way again. I think the story is supposed to be weird and funny but it turns out to also be downright creepy. Don’t get me wrong, though. I enjoyed it.
THE BRICOLAGE SCROTUM will be a painful story if you’re a guy. It’s also funny but again, there’s an underlying creepiness.
THE GREAT HEADPHONE WANK is not as funny as the previous two stories but is not of any lesser merit. The whole concept (of headphones that only play the sounds of male masturb*tion) is used in an unpredictable way.
MEETING MAX is the longest story and takes place in the Hair District… basically a section of the city that has more barber shops than restaurants. It’s the setting for a truly bizarre story. You think it’s going in one direction and then…. Well, I won’t spoil it. Revert really knows how to create an original world that’s completely absurd though also believable (in a weird way).
POWER BLINK is probably the weakest story in the book. It’s still entertaining, though.
THE BOOKMARK THAT WOULDN’T WORK has a pretty good absurd concept and is a good ending to the book.
Overall, this is an almost unclassifiable collection. The back of the book says it’s “pubic fiction” and that’s probably a good description. These are unique, gross, funny, uncomfortable, honest, and entertaining stories that’ll please those who expect something more from their weird fiction.
August 30, 2013
Two of the stories in this collection, “A Million Versions of Right” and “The Great Headphone Wank,” were highlights for me when I read the Bizarro Starter Kit – Purple, so since encountering them there, I’d been looking forward to reading the full collection to check out the other four tales. I was not disappointed. Revert employs an oddball wit, a sophisticated prose style that never becomes excessively baroque, and an absurdist flair so that the often lowbrow subjects of his stories--things like masturbation, genital mutilation, farting, etc.--get elevated to a higher aesthetic plane where the crude and the puerile attain a greater thematic and symbolic weight as the author explores “the lack of sense in all things” through these stories. My favorite tale in the bunch is probably “The Bookmark That Wouldn’t Work,” in which the author ingeniously takes a concept that is relatively simple in our world (a bookmark) and makes it incredibly (and absurdly) complex in the world of the story.
April 14, 2010
In order to get this nutty, tasty, treat of a book, I had to send the hilariously trashy "How to be Famous" by Heidi & Spencer Pratt to the author.
Some of my other author friends told me it was the creepiest book they have ever read. They had serious fears on how it would affect me.
I chose it-perhaps mistakenly-to be my bath & bed time book. Every night, I read it, I was nicely plagued by demented dreams. Every morning, I described the current story to my non-legal husband Mr. Bunny. He would always look at me like I was finally, completely deranged.
This was definitely worth the swap and detrimental effect it had on my psychological health.
Some of my other author friends told me it was the creepiest book they have ever read. They had serious fears on how it would affect me.
I chose it-perhaps mistakenly-to be my bath & bed time book. Every night, I read it, I was nicely plagued by demented dreams. Every morning, I described the current story to my non-legal husband Mr. Bunny. He would always look at me like I was finally, completely deranged.
This was definitely worth the swap and detrimental effect it had on my psychological health.
May 2, 2010
Matthew Revert is absurd! He's perfectly absurd. This book is a beautiful example of simple, thoughtful, gorgeous, bizarro absurdism.
The stories are fantastic. They're funny, and horrid, and wise. They're filled with perfect sentences, bits of juice and stray thoughts that tie paragraphs together instinctively and excitingly. Seriously, sometimes I had to close the book for a second and think about just how elegantly written it was. Inspired, intelligent and insane all at once, this book is solid entertainment.
I think even the way the stories are arranged is excellent. The book starts with a cringe-worthy hilarious story that leaves you feeling like you just learned a whole lot of nothing about sex from your insane uncle and his troupe of mustachioed tilers. You know that you are indeed in for a million versions of right, right away. It'll make you smile. After you get up and shake off the heeby-jeebies.
And it gets even better. From detached and stapled-on reproductive organs to the most ridiculous story about bookmarks I've ever read, I'm pretty sure Mr. Revert hits at least HALF of the versions of right there are in the world.
I want to shout adjectives about this book and it seems I have.
I am a fan of Matthew Revert. I hope to read much more from him.
The stories are fantastic. They're funny, and horrid, and wise. They're filled with perfect sentences, bits of juice and stray thoughts that tie paragraphs together instinctively and excitingly. Seriously, sometimes I had to close the book for a second and think about just how elegantly written it was. Inspired, intelligent and insane all at once, this book is solid entertainment.
I think even the way the stories are arranged is excellent. The book starts with a cringe-worthy hilarious story that leaves you feeling like you just learned a whole lot of nothing about sex from your insane uncle and his troupe of mustachioed tilers. You know that you are indeed in for a million versions of right, right away. It'll make you smile. After you get up and shake off the heeby-jeebies.
And it gets even better. From detached and stapled-on reproductive organs to the most ridiculous story about bookmarks I've ever read, I'm pretty sure Mr. Revert hits at least HALF of the versions of right there are in the world.
I want to shout adjectives about this book and it seems I have.
I am a fan of Matthew Revert. I hope to read much more from him.
March 27, 2014
Warning this book has a lot of talk about genitals.
The first three stories deserve the four stars. The Great Headphone Wank coming in first.
Imagine a pair of headphones you brought from the music store only played the sounds of a man yanking it. And now you and your girlfriend are addicted to the sounds like drugs. Oh and that's not all. The sounds actually help you find a lime that had been trapped behind a wall for many years. A really bizarre story that Revert tells with an absurd vocabulary.
The Bricolage Scrotum is a laugh out loud must read. I won't get into details just trust me on this.
So just like some little ghetto kid grab your slonge and pick up A Million Versions of Right.
The first three stories deserve the four stars. The Great Headphone Wank coming in first.
Imagine a pair of headphones you brought from the music store only played the sounds of a man yanking it. And now you and your girlfriend are addicted to the sounds like drugs. Oh and that's not all. The sounds actually help you find a lime that had been trapped behind a wall for many years. A really bizarre story that Revert tells with an absurd vocabulary.
The Bricolage Scrotum is a laugh out loud must read. I won't get into details just trust me on this.
So just like some little ghetto kid grab your slonge and pick up A Million Versions of Right.
September 27, 2010
This is the first time I've come to the page to write a review and have found myself to be utterly speechless.
Let me be honest, I didn't know what to make of this book. It was one of the most bizarre and absurd tomes I have read to this day and I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't the kind of book I could read all at once. I had to read it in drips and drabs otherwise it would overwhelm me.
Now that I'm done and have thought about the book for a few days, I must admit that Matthew Revert is most certainly in the gutter but he's one of us who are looking at the stars. I think Oscar Wilde said that and I find it to be true of this author as well.
I am most certainly looking forward to the next absurd book to come from this author because he creates strange new worlds with his unique language and I had to admire the fact that he chooses his words carefully like a poet to create his strange images that will stick with me long after I put this book back on my shelf.
Let me be honest, I didn't know what to make of this book. It was one of the most bizarre and absurd tomes I have read to this day and I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't the kind of book I could read all at once. I had to read it in drips and drabs otherwise it would overwhelm me.
Now that I'm done and have thought about the book for a few days, I must admit that Matthew Revert is most certainly in the gutter but he's one of us who are looking at the stars. I think Oscar Wilde said that and I find it to be true of this author as well.
I am most certainly looking forward to the next absurd book to come from this author because he creates strange new worlds with his unique language and I had to admire the fact that he chooses his words carefully like a poet to create his strange images that will stick with me long after I put this book back on my shelf.
February 2, 2012
This was the first book I purchased "virtually" for my Kindle out of pure spontaneous desire.
For starters, Matthew Revert is the literary god of absurdity. I admire the "what the fuck am I reading" reaction I had from each and every story. If you can giggle at the thought of ball sacks, look no further, because Revert combines intensifying wit with the humorous thought of dick and ball action-Taking nonsense to a more thought-provoking level. This book exceeds the levels of bizarro humor to the point where describing it is difficult entirely.
You just, have to read it.
Take your mind for the ride of your life, that will eventually come to and end, yet you will still be scratching your head for weeks.
For starters, Matthew Revert is the literary god of absurdity. I admire the "what the fuck am I reading" reaction I had from each and every story. If you can giggle at the thought of ball sacks, look no further, because Revert combines intensifying wit with the humorous thought of dick and ball action-Taking nonsense to a more thought-provoking level. This book exceeds the levels of bizarro humor to the point where describing it is difficult entirely.
You just, have to read it.
Take your mind for the ride of your life, that will eventually come to and end, yet you will still be scratching your head for weeks.
July 28, 2013
As a fan of the unusual, the weird and the absurd, I absolutely loved every bit of this collection. The sheer brilliance of Matthew Revert's stories blew me away. His storytelling abilities, his humor, his mind-boggling imagination and originality bring a breath of fresh air to the Absurd/Bizarro in particular and literature in general.
My favorite story of the bunch is "The Great Headphone Wank" for its curious and unsettling (in a good way) concepts and setting.
A Million Versions of Right also provided me with some of the best laugh-out-loud moments I've had in recent years, "Meeting Max" being the funniest story in my opinion.
Long live Matthew Revert and his art !! I look forward to reading his other books!
My favorite story of the bunch is "The Great Headphone Wank" for its curious and unsettling (in a good way) concepts and setting.
A Million Versions of Right also provided me with some of the best laugh-out-loud moments I've had in recent years, "Meeting Max" being the funniest story in my opinion.
Long live Matthew Revert and his art !! I look forward to reading his other books!
January 26, 2010
Matthew Revert is an absolute genius! The collection of stories that he put together are nothing short of remarkable. Unlike many books in the bizarro genre, these stories were expertly written. Sentences flow, nothing is choppily written, and it actually reads profoundly poetic.
Six stories are built around normally quite mundane objects or situations but the imagination behind them is brilliantly random. I can never look at headphones in the same way, jars that contain combs suddenly appear to be exhilarating, I anxiously wait to see the repercussions of blinking eyelids, and look at professional tilers and can't help but laugh (yet shudder at the same time.)
Six stories are built around normally quite mundane objects or situations but the imagination behind them is brilliantly random. I can never look at headphones in the same way, jars that contain combs suddenly appear to be exhilarating, I anxiously wait to see the repercussions of blinking eyelids, and look at professional tilers and can't help but laugh (yet shudder at the same time.)
January 19, 2010
I've never read a book that began with masturbation, let alone such a corse description of one, and so I didn't have any preconceived notions about how this book was going to play out. Despite that clue, the book was still surprisingly sexual.
Very weird, very gross very funny; I don’t usually get grossed out but this book found the sweet spot over and over again so I have to give it props.
Very weird, very gross very funny; I don’t usually get grossed out but this book found the sweet spot over and over again so I have to give it props.
December 3, 2012
better than average bizarro. the weirdness felt integral rather than tacked on.
February 14, 2010
I’m going to try to write this review without gushing too much. Up front I want it known that I’m in love with this book but I want to provide compelling reasons to read it and not dwell on hyperbole.
This is one of those books with a description that doesn’t really tell you much. After reading the book though, I’m not sure how else you’d describe. It’s a book that dwells in the gutter as the blurb suggests, but it’s a divine gutter. The filth and vulgarity within has been imbued with something profound. The absurdity somehow says more about life than almost any “straight” book I’ve read. Basically, it transcends.
I haven’t read much about this book that really explains the stories within. Yes, this is a book of short stories even if one of these stories is longer than most novellas currently doing the Bizarro rounds. So I’m going to spend some time talking about each story.
A Million Versions of Right
The first story lends the collection its title and sets the tone from the start. Essentially this is a story about masturbatory guilt and sexual confusion. The protagonist is alarmed to discover that his first orgasm is accompanied by a little tiler that wreaks havoc on his life. It scares him off masturbation and sexuality in general. He becomes painfully repressed, terrified that another orgasm will result in another little man. Throughout it all, this story encompasses the father/son relationship in a way I’ve never read before. It’s creepy. It’s uncomfortably hilarious and it really gets you thinking.
The Bricolage Scrotum
On the surface, this story sounds utterly ridiculous. It’s about scrotal aesthetics and the war waged between those who love the scrotum and those who hate it. To me, this story struck me as a veiled attack on religious indoctrination. Children are raised to hate the scrotum by one group and love it by another. Each side extols an extreme point of view and doesn’t waver. It’s pretty clever to use the scrotum to get this message across. It’s one of those body parts that most people don’t like to discuss.
The Great Headphone Wank
One of the most depressing and distressing things I’ve read. With a title like that, I was expecting it to be quite funny but it’s quite soul destroying. It paints such a corrupted view of relationships that I’m not sure I’d ever want to date someone like Matthew Revert (if I were a female). They seem to hate eachother while not being able to live without eachother. The headphones of title involve a set of headphones that only plays masturbatory sounds. Obsession follows and they can’t quite shake it. On top of it is one of the bleakest representations of the working man’s life there is. The protagonist’s job is literally to yell at walls all day. The hopelessness is stifling.
Meeting Max
The longest and most complex story. Set in a place called the hair district, the story starts off like a hair-obsessed film noir. Someone is knocking over deluxe comb jars and it’s up to the protagonist, Jack Backtrack, to crack the case. The case leads to Jack turning into the pariah of the district. Soon after he meets the man toppling the comb jars, Max. The two develop a creepy relationship that somehow leads toward male menstruation. It paints a portrait of sexuality devoid of sexual contact and gender. It keeps travelling deeper and deeper until the psychological overtones crawl under your skin. So much more happens in this story to even begin describing. It could have been released as a book in its own right. There’s nothing else like it.
Power Blink
Following the previous four stories, it’s a bit of a relief that this story is lighter in tone. It’s a study in melodrama and the absurdly complex repercussions of a slight cut to the finger. It’s funny, it’s silly and of course, slightly creepy. Probably the lesser story but in a collection like this, that’s not saying much.
The Bookmark the Wouldn’t Work
This is the story that alerted to me existence of this book. It follows an alternate history of the common bookmark. Using the theory that the bookmark was a new development in history, Revert paints a fantastically creative history. It’s laugh out loud funny and has a nice light tone in which to finish this book.
So this review has gone on a lot longer than I thought it would. But I believe this book warrants it. The level of imagination is second to nothing I’ve ever read. The prose is incredible and shows Revert to be a real wordsmith. This isn’t throw away stuff. This book is lodges itself into your psyche. An amazing achievement. One that by all rights will be recognized as a milestone in weird/bizarre fiction.
This is one of those books with a description that doesn’t really tell you much. After reading the book though, I’m not sure how else you’d describe. It’s a book that dwells in the gutter as the blurb suggests, but it’s a divine gutter. The filth and vulgarity within has been imbued with something profound. The absurdity somehow says more about life than almost any “straight” book I’ve read. Basically, it transcends.
I haven’t read much about this book that really explains the stories within. Yes, this is a book of short stories even if one of these stories is longer than most novellas currently doing the Bizarro rounds. So I’m going to spend some time talking about each story.
A Million Versions of Right
The first story lends the collection its title and sets the tone from the start. Essentially this is a story about masturbatory guilt and sexual confusion. The protagonist is alarmed to discover that his first orgasm is accompanied by a little tiler that wreaks havoc on his life. It scares him off masturbation and sexuality in general. He becomes painfully repressed, terrified that another orgasm will result in another little man. Throughout it all, this story encompasses the father/son relationship in a way I’ve never read before. It’s creepy. It’s uncomfortably hilarious and it really gets you thinking.
The Bricolage Scrotum
On the surface, this story sounds utterly ridiculous. It’s about scrotal aesthetics and the war waged between those who love the scrotum and those who hate it. To me, this story struck me as a veiled attack on religious indoctrination. Children are raised to hate the scrotum by one group and love it by another. Each side extols an extreme point of view and doesn’t waver. It’s pretty clever to use the scrotum to get this message across. It’s one of those body parts that most people don’t like to discuss.
The Great Headphone Wank
One of the most depressing and distressing things I’ve read. With a title like that, I was expecting it to be quite funny but it’s quite soul destroying. It paints such a corrupted view of relationships that I’m not sure I’d ever want to date someone like Matthew Revert (if I were a female). They seem to hate eachother while not being able to live without eachother. The headphones of title involve a set of headphones that only plays masturbatory sounds. Obsession follows and they can’t quite shake it. On top of it is one of the bleakest representations of the working man’s life there is. The protagonist’s job is literally to yell at walls all day. The hopelessness is stifling.
Meeting Max
The longest and most complex story. Set in a place called the hair district, the story starts off like a hair-obsessed film noir. Someone is knocking over deluxe comb jars and it’s up to the protagonist, Jack Backtrack, to crack the case. The case leads to Jack turning into the pariah of the district. Soon after he meets the man toppling the comb jars, Max. The two develop a creepy relationship that somehow leads toward male menstruation. It paints a portrait of sexuality devoid of sexual contact and gender. It keeps travelling deeper and deeper until the psychological overtones crawl under your skin. So much more happens in this story to even begin describing. It could have been released as a book in its own right. There’s nothing else like it.
Power Blink
Following the previous four stories, it’s a bit of a relief that this story is lighter in tone. It’s a study in melodrama and the absurdly complex repercussions of a slight cut to the finger. It’s funny, it’s silly and of course, slightly creepy. Probably the lesser story but in a collection like this, that’s not saying much.
The Bookmark the Wouldn’t Work
This is the story that alerted to me existence of this book. It follows an alternate history of the common bookmark. Using the theory that the bookmark was a new development in history, Revert paints a fantastically creative history. It’s laugh out loud funny and has a nice light tone in which to finish this book.
So this review has gone on a lot longer than I thought it would. But I believe this book warrants it. The level of imagination is second to nothing I’ve ever read. The prose is incredible and shows Revert to be a real wordsmith. This isn’t throw away stuff. This book is lodges itself into your psyche. An amazing achievement. One that by all rights will be recognized as a milestone in weird/bizarre fiction.
January 12, 2012
A Million Versions of Right is a collection of absolute absurdity from Matthew Revert (pronounced Rev Air, and I only mention so you don’t sound like a fool when recommending this book to all your friends).
I confess right off the bat it has taken me far longer to write this review than it should have. Despite the fact A Million Versions of Right is one of the most entertaining works of literary mayhem I’ve EVER read. Despite the fact I’ve read it over and over in the few short months I’ve owned it. Despite the fact I can open it to any random page and I know I’ll laugh out loud. Despite the fact I’ve spent entire shifts at my day job praising it and spoiling every story for everyone within ear shot. Yeah, despite all of that I still have one hell of a time reviewing this wonderfully weird collection. I think the best way to achieve my goal of relaying my feelings for this amazingly bizarre bunch of stories is to take it one story at a time.
The title story A Million Versions of Right opens up the collection and gives you a fair idea of the madness you can expect. This is a wonderfully crafted story about ejaculating small mustachioed tillers and how to deal with such strange ejaculates. It is the classiest low brow humor has ever been, featuring more surprising (totally insane) moments and laugh out loud passages than almost any story I’ve read in the past five years. I first read this story in the amazing Purple Bizarro Starter kit and purchased A Million Versions of Right on the strength of this story alone. A seriously great piece of humorous fiction.
From there we go to a story called The Bricolage Scrotum. Every full blooded male will cringe starting with the first paragraph and then giggle through rest…while still cringing. This is the story of two brothers and the scrotums they pop. As well as a man that doesn’t like scrotums and their hideous appearance and an opposing group of pro-scrotum men hell bent on sharing some scrot-love. If you have a ball bag this story will make you truly appreciate it…all while cringing and laughing.
The Great Headphone Wank is the surprisingly heartfelt story about headphones that play the sounds of people masturbating through them. The main character works for a company where he yells at walls all day. This story is just as absurd and hilarious as the rest but it also has a bittersweet heart to it that tugs at your emotions through your tears of laughter.
The four part Meeting Max is a modern weird fiction masterpiece featuring a barber district, bald men in capes, PMS conspiracies, and sex so twisted Freud would climb out of his grave to talk moms with Mr. Revert. This story is the longest of the lot and therefore contains the most laughs. Insane, obscene, and terribly fantastic in every way.
Power Blink is a quick little story that crams a lot of ridiculousness into just a few pages. Imagine a blink so powerful it could make you soil yourself. If you can’t get the mental picture on your own worry not because Revert can do it for you and make you glad he did.
The Book Mark that Wouldn’t Work closes the collection with the absurd history of the book mark and a case of one that simply won’t work. Frustration has seldom been so funny.
If you couldn’t tell I adore this book. I would give it six stars out of five if I could. The stories are incredibly absurd and I maintain that in the hands of a less talented writer this collection would be a mess of confusing disturbing crap. Instead A Million Versions of Right is a shining star among the weird fiction world just waiting for you to swallow it whole. I seriously can’t recommend this hilariously brilliant collection enough. Fans of comedy and bizarro should own this collection and are only hurting themselves by not having it on their shelves.
I confess right off the bat it has taken me far longer to write this review than it should have. Despite the fact A Million Versions of Right is one of the most entertaining works of literary mayhem I’ve EVER read. Despite the fact I’ve read it over and over in the few short months I’ve owned it. Despite the fact I can open it to any random page and I know I’ll laugh out loud. Despite the fact I’ve spent entire shifts at my day job praising it and spoiling every story for everyone within ear shot. Yeah, despite all of that I still have one hell of a time reviewing this wonderfully weird collection. I think the best way to achieve my goal of relaying my feelings for this amazingly bizarre bunch of stories is to take it one story at a time.
The title story A Million Versions of Right opens up the collection and gives you a fair idea of the madness you can expect. This is a wonderfully crafted story about ejaculating small mustachioed tillers and how to deal with such strange ejaculates. It is the classiest low brow humor has ever been, featuring more surprising (totally insane) moments and laugh out loud passages than almost any story I’ve read in the past five years. I first read this story in the amazing Purple Bizarro Starter kit and purchased A Million Versions of Right on the strength of this story alone. A seriously great piece of humorous fiction.
From there we go to a story called The Bricolage Scrotum. Every full blooded male will cringe starting with the first paragraph and then giggle through rest…while still cringing. This is the story of two brothers and the scrotums they pop. As well as a man that doesn’t like scrotums and their hideous appearance and an opposing group of pro-scrotum men hell bent on sharing some scrot-love. If you have a ball bag this story will make you truly appreciate it…all while cringing and laughing.
The Great Headphone Wank is the surprisingly heartfelt story about headphones that play the sounds of people masturbating through them. The main character works for a company where he yells at walls all day. This story is just as absurd and hilarious as the rest but it also has a bittersweet heart to it that tugs at your emotions through your tears of laughter.
The four part Meeting Max is a modern weird fiction masterpiece featuring a barber district, bald men in capes, PMS conspiracies, and sex so twisted Freud would climb out of his grave to talk moms with Mr. Revert. This story is the longest of the lot and therefore contains the most laughs. Insane, obscene, and terribly fantastic in every way.
Power Blink is a quick little story that crams a lot of ridiculousness into just a few pages. Imagine a blink so powerful it could make you soil yourself. If you can’t get the mental picture on your own worry not because Revert can do it for you and make you glad he did.
The Book Mark that Wouldn’t Work closes the collection with the absurd history of the book mark and a case of one that simply won’t work. Frustration has seldom been so funny.
If you couldn’t tell I adore this book. I would give it six stars out of five if I could. The stories are incredibly absurd and I maintain that in the hands of a less talented writer this collection would be a mess of confusing disturbing crap. Instead A Million Versions of Right is a shining star among the weird fiction world just waiting for you to swallow it whole. I seriously can’t recommend this hilariously brilliant collection enough. Fans of comedy and bizarro should own this collection and are only hurting themselves by not having it on their shelves.
May 8, 2010
It's a good idea to imagine these stories in way that is just as untoward as their texts describe them. After all, The clockwork father of the titular first short story describes approaching something untoward through the act of shoving the untoward up his own ass. Later advice given through the book includes the following: balls are aesthetically unpleasant (and must be popped), menstruation conspiracies are meant to be uncovered, keeping a wound open is proper protocol for being professional about band-aid application, and others. These trains of logic run through the only cultures which allow them through without sabotage. The good news is that each and every one of these odd settings of human behavior are consistent, never feeling like Revert decided to just pull a character trait because it was plot-convenient (because there are plenty of inconveniences as well).
The writing style of these stories is just as interesting, due to the somewhat professional tone when contrasted with the subject matter. Throughout each one I imagined a drama student with a bachelor's degree making revisions and dramatic readings of bathroom graffiti. Whether or not the average bathroom stall has more guy parts than these stories, however, has been untested.
My complaint with this collection, however, was with "The Bookmark that Wouldn't Work." The clippings from Revert's history of bookmarks didn't feel quite like they wove well into the plot, and while the story still turned out to be decent it felt a bit like a disappointing end when there were excellent ones like "Meeting Max" which came before.
The writing style of these stories is just as interesting, due to the somewhat professional tone when contrasted with the subject matter. Throughout each one I imagined a drama student with a bachelor's degree making revisions and dramatic readings of bathroom graffiti. Whether or not the average bathroom stall has more guy parts than these stories, however, has been untested.
My complaint with this collection, however, was with "The Bookmark that Wouldn't Work." The clippings from Revert's history of bookmarks didn't feel quite like they wove well into the plot, and while the story still turned out to be decent it felt a bit like a disappointing end when there were excellent ones like "Meeting Max" which came before.
April 2, 2010
I read this book a while back. It was an e-book. The publisher has a deal where you can buy two e-book for the price of one. Since this book and author were unfamiliar to me, it was my second choice.
There are certain books that are easier to read on the computer screen-simplistic writing, not proceeding at a rapid pace with tons of stuff happening, one after another. This book isn't an "easy" e-book. Not that the writing is "busy." Instead, it's rich and baroque. While reading it, the classical absurdist writers came to my mind. While other authors who are the modern day equivalent of this include Rhys Hughes and Ray Fracalossy.
So while the book isn't so "e-book" friendly, I pushed forward because the stories were so good. They were also rather long.
The stories are an extreme mixture of lowbrow and highbrow. Having a gross out, dick joke sort of vibe going on, but really contrasting it with highbrow subject matter.
The content is absurd and often unreal, and the unique thing about Revert's writing is that it's primarily concerned with how a person would ordinarily react when faced with the absurd and unreal. He takes everyday human experiences and distorts them into until they are totally bizarre while keeping enough of the "everyday" around so it brings to mind the things that many of us experience in our lives. And that is why this book is totally sweet.
There are certain books that are easier to read on the computer screen-simplistic writing, not proceeding at a rapid pace with tons of stuff happening, one after another. This book isn't an "easy" e-book. Not that the writing is "busy." Instead, it's rich and baroque. While reading it, the classical absurdist writers came to my mind. While other authors who are the modern day equivalent of this include Rhys Hughes and Ray Fracalossy.
So while the book isn't so "e-book" friendly, I pushed forward because the stories were so good. They were also rather long.
The stories are an extreme mixture of lowbrow and highbrow. Having a gross out, dick joke sort of vibe going on, but really contrasting it with highbrow subject matter.
The content is absurd and often unreal, and the unique thing about Revert's writing is that it's primarily concerned with how a person would ordinarily react when faced with the absurd and unreal. He takes everyday human experiences and distorts them into until they are totally bizarre while keeping enough of the "everyday" around so it brings to mind the things that many of us experience in our lives. And that is why this book is totally sweet.
March 4, 2010
If words were weapons, Revert is writing with smart bomb bunker-busters. If I were Osama Bin Laden, I would declare a JIHAD on anyone who doesn't, while perusing the pernicious, depraved tales penned by Revert, get dragged kicking and screaming into an alternate reality where headphones touch themselves at night (and any other time it pleases them), where omelettes contain dreadlocks, and where wank fairies expel miasmic gasses 24/7.
Revert has, in this cuckoo collection, far transcended the limits of the imagination, and he has done it with a wonderful sense of style and grace. Not only are the ramblings within this volume exceedingly bizarre and 'What the FUCK was he thinking???', but the style and natural ability Revert exhibits shines out in every sentence, every paragraph.
This raw ability to bludgeon the reader with prose worthy of review by the likes of Burroughs and Charles Lutwidge Dodgson is what will win the reader over within pages of starting this wonderful, wonderful volume.
HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!!
Revert has, in this cuckoo collection, far transcended the limits of the imagination, and he has done it with a wonderful sense of style and grace. Not only are the ramblings within this volume exceedingly bizarre and 'What the FUCK was he thinking???', but the style and natural ability Revert exhibits shines out in every sentence, every paragraph.
This raw ability to bludgeon the reader with prose worthy of review by the likes of Burroughs and Charles Lutwidge Dodgson is what will win the reader over within pages of starting this wonderful, wonderful volume.
HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!!
November 24, 2010
Before "if you touch my junk" became an Internet meme, Matthew Revert published this gem about worlds where school authorities lend their junk to students for presentations; tiny, ejaculated builders cover their procreators in layers of tile; scientists try to reverse menstration in women; and earphones play nothing but the sounds of masturbation.
A MILLION VERSIONS OF RIGHT is a collection of "terribly unusual short fiction" that will burn in the reader's mind long after the book has been digested. And while not for the squeamish or the prudish, it is highly recommended for those who love the outlandish.
Witty and well-written, readers will be hard-pressed to find talent like Mr Revert. He sits clearly and proudly with the likes of Carlton Mellick III, D. Harlan Wilson, Gina Ranalli, and the other scions of the bizarro fiction tradition heralded by writers like Franz Kafka.
A MILLION VERSIONS OF RIGHT is a collection of "terribly unusual short fiction" that will burn in the reader's mind long after the book has been digested. And while not for the squeamish or the prudish, it is highly recommended for those who love the outlandish.
Witty and well-written, readers will be hard-pressed to find talent like Mr Revert. He sits clearly and proudly with the likes of Carlton Mellick III, D. Harlan Wilson, Gina Ranalli, and the other scions of the bizarro fiction tradition heralded by writers like Franz Kafka.
Read
September 6, 2010I can't review this book. I enjoyed the first story and I can see why there are so many 5 stars for this author. The second story was longer and so absurd that I just couldn't muster enough interest in it. I did something very rare for me, which is give up on a book. Maybe I'll return to it one day.
March 15, 2011
I'm not sure if Revert is a genius or a madman. Either way, I suggest you buy this book and decide for yourself. Because I'm telling you: in ten years this guy is either going to be famous for being the greatest writer in the world. Or he's going to be infamous for being the greatest monster in the world. Either way you can say you knew about him before anyone else.
December 6, 2010
Lots of grossout humor ends up being neither gross nor funny, but stupid instead. The over the top style of these stories end up making the gross stuff so much so that's it's not longer gross but absurdly funny. I enjoyed this one a lot.
November 3, 2010
The first two stories irritated me, they seemed to be trying so hard to be shocking simply for the sake of it.
From the headphone story onwards, though, I started to warm to the book a bit more. It wasn't purely about scrotums and such.
From the headphone story onwards, though, I started to warm to the book a bit more. It wasn't purely about scrotums and such.
August 11, 2011
I couldn't get past the first story. It was well written and constructed from a literary point of view, but the stories were so stupid and disgusting, I lost interest pretty quickly. I suppose this kind of text just isn't for me.
January 24, 2010
You can call me lazy... Rather than rehash words, I offer a link to a review/interview.
http://fullofcrow.com/prate/2009/12/m...
http://fullofcrow.com/prate/2009/12/m...
July 16, 2010
I has a signed copy and I'm so rapt.
Very well written...but not my "cup of tea".
Having said that, I DID enjoy the last story in the book: "The bookmark that wouldn't work".
Very well written...but not my "cup of tea".
Having said that, I DID enjoy the last story in the book: "The bookmark that wouldn't work".
Want to Read
August 16, 2011"Like the faecal scrawl of a madman without the unpleasant smell". I will read this purely for that line in the synopsis.
February 23, 2012
Ive read two of the four stories and Im done. Im really not in the mood!!
May 8, 2012
a million versions of wrong = right.
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