Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation

by Elizabeth Beckwith

Popular actress and stand-up comedienne Elizabeth Beckwith gives us the parenting guide to end all parenting guides: Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation. A frequent guest on The Late, Late Show and one of seven comics featured in the Time magazine article, “Funny: The Next Generation,” Beckwith now puts forth a hilarious new parenting philosophy that would shock Dr. Spock and traumatize T. Berry Brazelton. Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation is a riotously irreverent take on contemporary child rearing.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Parenting, Essays, Biography, Memoir, Self Help

256 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2009

Reviews

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty funny stuff that rings true to me as a parent. I wouldn’t call this a parenting guide; it’s really comedic writing, but like all good comedy, it’s grounded in reality.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Mommy Mafia,

Before you go getting your knickers in a bunch and start the crusade to take down Ms. Beckwith, let me first tell you: this is NOT an actual tutorial.

This is essentially a memoir of the author's life growing up, the way in which her family raised her - their values, discipline and priorities - and how much she loves them for it and hopes to be able to follow in their footsteps for her own children. Of course, as the author is also a comedienne, it's freaking hilarious!

Also, for the record, I was not only proud to be reading it, but flashed it to my kids with a raised eyebrow and a menacing laugh. If you're smart and can squeeze it in before little Timmy receives yet another award for "participation", I would suggest you do the same.


Best Wishes!


P.S.
Those stickers outlining just exactly how many people/animals and what genders are in your family is just setting yourself up for possible traumatic trouble (maybe next time don't alert the potential pedophile driving behind you that you have a pre-teen girl who likes cheerleading in the family). Plus, it's annoying.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm giving this book two stars as a parenting book, but as a comedy I'd give it three or four.

This caught my eye because the older I get, the more I think my own parents' brilliant style of raising kids involved more guilt than my sister or I realized at the time, maybe even more than my parents meant to employ. And my parents were (and are) practically perfect - I mean, just look at me now, heh... - so perhaps guilt has its place in parenting.

As does snark.

Beckwith's advice covers plenty of topics but could probably be summed up in a general two-step process: 1) Make sure you kids know what assholes act like by pointing out assholes when you see them; and 2) Make sure your kids understand that the worst thing in the world is to become an asshole. The author also couches this tactic as indoctrinating your children with an us/them mentality: "us" is the family, and we do things a certain way; "them" are the assholes.

Even without kids, it's worth a read for the laughs.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought the book would be a humorous take on parenting, but instead it was a genuine parenting book. Don't get me wrong, I laughed my way through it, but I came out of it with some parenting advice I actually took to heart.

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up at a used book sale-- how could I pass it up for fifty cents and a title that made me audibly laugh in public?

And it was undeniably funny! I laughed a lot and really enjoyed the author's writing style. But even knowing it was comedy (or satire?) and I knew it wasn't a real parenting book, there was still a lot of it that just made me cringe. Sometimes I wasn't sure if the line got blurred and maybe the author did actually think some of these "techniques" were valid means of parenting. Or maybe my uncertainty just means that the author is THAT good of a satirical writer? Anyway, the humor wasn't enough to carry this book to a higher rating.

The personal essays were the strongest parts of the book, but sometimes it felt like they were being shoehorned in to try and fit the chapter topic. I even shed some tears at the end of the book as she detailed her grandmother's death (a topic I always have a soft spot for in both fiction and nonfiction), and in the end, I would have preferred this book more as an upfront, humorous tribute to her mother and grandmother instead of a comedy parade of offbeat parenting techniques.

[K.C. Wells · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s very funny. Like, I actually laughed out loud. That being said, there’s only so much of the sarcastic funny that I can take in a book, otherwise it all starts to sound the same. It’s just too long for my taste.

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Out loud laughs while reading!

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious! Very much tongue-in-cheek parenting advice from a comedian. I was entertained, and admittedly, she does actually have a good amount of solid parenting advice in there!

[Sabina-Nicoleta Furtună (Sally)]

¨Thanks for being my fan; you help to fill a void in my soul that can only be satisfied by the blind love and adoration of strangers.¨

[Reagan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny af

[Ana · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a laugh-out loud book with a lot of common-sense parenting “advice” woven between the sarcasm. The guilt and manipulation was for the most part just old-fashioned parenting without the need to hit a child. I did grow tired of the letters to the author. Overall it’s a funny and easy read.

[Shelly Burch · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first thing I want to mention is that this book should not necessarily be taken as a parenting how-to guide. Unless the advice really fits your personal parenting values. However, this book is a necessity for all parents who just need a good laugh - and that's all parents. When you raise children, you need to take a break from all the work, worries and stress that parenting entails. Then read this book, laugh out loud, and wish you could do and say all the things that Elizabeth recommends in her book. It's written with advice and personal anecdotes from her childhood that she believes are useful tools to raise happy and healthy children.

Don't let the idea of guilt and manipulation scare you away from reading this book. Yes, it's full of guilt and manipulation tactics that I admit I've thought about but have never used. Now I feel embolden with the knowledge that these tactics can work. I've encountered many of the parents and their children that Elizabeth writes about in her book, especially the playground bully and moms who sexualize their daughters by dressing them like party girls. Admit it, we've all seen this.

The author sometimes spends a little too long on her personal experiences growing up in Las Vegas but I'm sure it was to add pages to the book, and very specific examples of how her parents style of raising their kids makes the case for guilt and manipulation to work. Her experiences in growing up in Las Vegas were often different than my Midwestern upbringing, but I enjoyed her advice just the same. I didn't just enjoy it - I laughed hard at many of her anecdotes and observations. Okay, I will raise nerds (because nerds rule!) but I'm not really going to work at raising my kids this way, though sometimes I wish I had the courage, or had Tony the Ant on speed dial.

[Jenifer Rosenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book up on a whim because I thought the title was amusing. little did I know that it would present very sound, well-thought advice on parenting wrapped in an enjoyably fun-to-read package. I love Beckwith's style and humor, and her insight is amazing! I don't just recommend this book to people who have children, either. If you do have kids, or are planning to have kids, or are thinking of getting married: this book is awesome. Additionally, if none of the above categories apply to you, but you were born in the seventies, have any obsessive tendencies, or have nieces and nephews: read this book! I also have to mention that, if you are a fan of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, you will really enjoy Beckwith's stories about growing up. In short, I highly recommend this book!

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

So apparently I was raised with the guilt and manipulation parenting philosophy and didn't even realize it. I, like Beckwith, always had the innate fear tha my parents could sense any wrong-doing that I was even contemplating from miles, even states, away. The guilt and fear were instilled in me from an early age. It's also the parenting philosophy I use myself, though I never would have termed it quite this way! Though this is first and foremost a humor book, the parenting advice makes perfect sense to me. Interspersed throughout the book, Beckwith includes stories of her own upbringing and wacky extended family, explaining exactly how the "guilt" and "manipulation" were put into practice. Quick, funny read. BTW, my favorite chapter? "Don't be Afraid to Raise a Nerd"

[Emily Hazewinkel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hoping for a few laughs along the way....hoping my kids don't think this is how things are going to roll around here...:)

Ok..now that I am done I can say that I liked this book and found myself laughing many times. I knew instantly that the authors mother was a Northern so many of the topics discussed felt like coming home! After about Chapter 8 it did start to drag but I loved that she ended the book with some sweet and yes funny things about her grandmother. If you are looking for a light, funny read then try this book. Maybe you'll even try and few of her suggestions...heck, we all have done some of these--who are we kidding!!!!

[Madeleine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is honestly one of the better parenting guides I've read, and I'm not just saying that because, according to Beckwith's description of the philosophy, i appear to be the product of guilt and manipulation. Hilarious delivery aside, and the book is, at times, really hilarious, Beckwith's emphasis on earning your kids respect by not being "an a**hole" and cultivating shared family culture makes a lot of intuitive sense. Really good and really funny, especially for parents who take parenting seriously, but not themselves.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give a humour book one star for every belly laugh I have. I wish there were more stars.

Being a product of a hybrid WASPy/Catholic upbringing, I could relate to a lot of the tongue-in-cheek "advice" being presented and to the "Up Close and Personal" stories. Seriously, laughed out loud. Scared the bejeezus out of the cats.

My only advice (totally unsolicited, and, you're welcome): don't read this for parenting tips. I'm sure one can gleam some of that from the stories, but mostly, don't. Except the last piece of advice on not being asshole parent. Listen to that.

[Turi Becker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yes, this is meant to be a "humor" title. At least mostly. 70% humorous? Actually, the percentage is probably pretty flexible. Elizabeth Beckwithtakes us on a ride through parenting that rides the edge between crazy, funny, and uncomfortably true. Wait. Can there be an edge between three things? Anyway. Fun stuff.

[Liz · Rating 2 out of 5]

I downloaded this on a whim, thinking it would be much funnier. I truly despite parenting books and thought this would be more of a spoof on them and it could be just that, but I suspect that Beckwith is a better stand-up comedian than writer. I actually agree with some of her advice and appreciate the profane way she presents it.

I am reading it on a Nook and a lot of the formatting does it no favors either so I am willing to concede that I am missing some of the pleasure of the book.

[Alvin · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you read this as a parenting book, you will get some delightful nuggets of ideas here and there. Parents have used these techniques for centuries. Releasing as a parenting book in these times of political correctness makes this kind of advice seem cruel. But hey, most of us have been raised this way and turned out okay. As a humorous memoir, this book was entertaining and I took it as such, entertainment.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hysterical! This will make you either cringe or laugh out loud. Those of us "of a certain generation" were raised this way... and we turned out OK! I am not sure how much of it continues to creep into the lessons I pass on to my own children, but either way, this will definitely keep you thinking... and laughing!

[Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very funny "parenting manual." While I laughed aloud a lot while reading this book and would recommend it to anyone with children, I have a faint worry that some of these ideas will have an unexpected allure sometime later in my parenting. If you've read more than one parenting book, you should definitely read this one.

[Juliana · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good blend of personal anecdotes, humor, and sarcasm. Beckwith doesn't really take sides and she seems to slip in and out of the tongue-in-cheek voice... Basically she does a good job of deconstructing the dynamics of passive-aggressive parenting and gives a lot of insight into how it affects families through the generations. Great food-for-thought and entertaining to boot.

[Anthony · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny book, we got this as a gift with the birth of our son. But so much of this hit home. All the Catholic guilt, even though she wrote this tongue in cheek I remember many of these techniques my mother used on me. Great book to bring back memories of youth and the why behind mother raising you the way she did.

[Brigit Zelenak · Rating 2 out of 5]

I laughed, I cried, I took notes. Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation is a lighthearted tongue-in-cheek reflection on parenting. And while it was laugh out loud funny at points, the overall effect felt forced -- like the author was trying too hard. Great title and cover art though, they pulled me in initially, but the payoff just wasn't there.

[Sharlene · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was intrigued by the title/cover of this book. I thought it would be a good laugh. I read part of the first chapter and then skimmed to see if there was anything better as the book developed. I read excerpts, but chose not to finish this book. The comedy seemed forced, and it seemed unnecessarily vulgar and profane.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS BOOK!

Aware of the genre, it's still a rofl-worthy book that actually presents valid ideas to raise children. I'll definitely be putting this to practice when I have children of my own. :D

[Mindy]

Okay, so I heard about this book and the description was "It's a little irreverent, but the woman who wrote it is Italian, so enough said!" Needless to say, I added it to my list.....will see what I think!

[Dev · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious! Kind of a little vulgar at times; however, you are laughing so hard that it doesn't matter! The technique's really work! I am focusing on the bad driving of others right now -cannot wait to move onto scantilly clad women. Thanks, Liz!!!

[Casie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ummm...I don't know if I should really put this into writing. But this is what I'm already doing as a parent. I found it amusing, but obviously that revelation was somewhat surprising. I wish there were independent studies to prove the title.