Shattered Love: A Memoir

by Richard Chamberlain

One of the most beloved actors of our time shares the New York Times bestselling story of how he learned to live with an open heart. Early in his career, shortly after rising to fame as television's Dr. James Kildare, Richard Chamberlain took on the role of Hamlet on the English stage. The play contained a lesson the actor has remembered throughout his life: "To thine own self be true." But for Chamberlain these were not always easy words to live by. Even as he won the adoration of millions of fans, this handsome, charming, debonair leading man seriously questioned his own self–worth, living a life haunted by personal insecurity despite decades of immense popular success in memorable roles in Dr. Kildare, The Thorn Birds, Shogun, and other television dramas. Finally, with the help of friends and guidance from spiritual teachers, including Krishnamurti, Chamberlain began the sometimes painful but deeply rewarding process of reconciling his deepest self with his public persona. Now, in Shattered Love, he poignantly recounts his lifelong struggle to find happiness. Tracing a fascinating path through his meteoric rise to success, he chronicles his struggle to come to terms with his own imperfections, his growing desire to be honest about his sexual orientation, and his yearning to live with an open heart. And along the way he imparts the lessons he has learned about overcoming our own self–imposed obstacles to happiness: the importance of listening to our own instincts instead of listening only to others, not demanding the impossible of ourselves, and allowing ourselves to explore negative feelings in order to move forward.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Media Tie In, Tv

272 pages, Paperback

First published June 3, 2003

About the author

Librarian’s note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

George Richard Chamberlain was an American actor and singer who became a teen idol in the title role of the television show Dr. Kildare (1961–1966). He subsequently appeared in several miniseries, such as Shōgun (1980) and The Thorn Birds (1983). Chamberlain has also performed classical stage roles and worked in musical theater.
He played the role of Aramis in the film trilogy The Three Musketeers (1973), The Four Musketeers (1974), and The Return of the Musketeers (1989); portrayed Allan Quatermain in both King Solomon's Mines (1985) and Lost City of Gold (1986); and was the first to play Jason Bourne in the 1988 television film The Bourne Identity.

Reviews

[Sean Peters (A Good Thriller) · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a film fan, I will always like an autobiography to a certain amount. How they tell their story, and their careers, the people they worked with, humour and you can have a great book.

Enormously private and having moved to Hawaii to avoid the Hollywood glare, at age 69 finally "came out" with a tell-all biography entitled "Shattered Love," in which he quite candidly discussed the anguish of hiding his homosexuality to protect his enduring matinée idol image.

Richard Chamberlain gives you a sincere, honest, open story of his life, but in a very light hearted way. Little is mentioned of many films co-stars, just a few mentions of the difficult actors he has worked with, namely Oliver Reed, a few others. This book is more about the life, mainly private life of Richard Chamberlain.

Richard speaks very openly and honestly about his sexuality that was difficult to disclose in his profession earlier in his life. It's moving to read of the difficulties this could cause him, and sad that there was such a bias then against gay persons. But fortunately it is easier now for him.

Just lacked the great co-star stories, but a good story.

Three stars

[Morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are looking for one of those Hollywood ‘tell-all’ books this is not it.

This is Richard Chamberlain taking us through his journey of self-discovery from an insecure, inhibited self from darkness into the light of self-acceptance of the person he truly is.

Chamberlain appears to have struggled with the question ‘Who is Richard Chamberlain?” for most of his life. “A life of pretense is exhausting and debilitating.” (Pg.14).

His answers came in the form of spirituality and most of this book is his journey in answering that question.

Being a homosexual in the 1950’s was tantamount to being a pariah and even more so in Hollywood if you hoped to have an acting career.

This is not the best written Memoir I’ve ever read but I enjoyed it immensely and admire Chamberlain for writing it.

[Darlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let me tell you a story. There once was a young woman who was in junior high and high school who LOVED Dr. Kildare. Alas, it was on a school night. Her parents made her go to bed early. But this young lady was so clever that going to bed didn't stop her from watching her favorite show. You see the television was at the far end of the living room and could be seen from the end of the hallway. Well, there was a bookshelf there, and she set up a mirror so as to watch Dr. K from her bed. When he was over she would slip out of bed and remove the mirror so her parents would be none the wiser. Yes, that clever girl was me. And that was only the start of my crush on Richard Chamberlain. For years I kept track of his birthday. I enjoyed all the miniseries that he did.

I think my favorite scene was that of Anjisan attempting to commit harikari. What passion he was able to show! Why didn't he bring that moment into this memoir?

As a memoir this was less than what I wanted. As much as he told us his problem in life had been being aloof, I found that it remained in this book. And pride was still evident. I don't mind that he has come out as gay, he is an actor, and it is none of our business what he needs in his bedroom. I still love his work on the tele or big screen.

Now, had this book been labeled as a metaphysical healing book, I would have enjoyed it better. I was reminded of a path I have left behind and plan to get back into meditation and opening my heart chakras. Then again, the title of the book is Shattered Love--oh yeah and A Memoir. So maybe I was cheated by my own expectations? I had set this to three stars but now that I think on it I think I must give it four. I may just read it again for the spiritual reminders.

[Christopher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this in hopes of gaining some insight into the man, since he's now a co-worker. It surprised me, mainly in its spiritual content. I read it in two sittings on one day. He's much better company than Christopher Plummer.

[Mary K · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really beautiful book by an amazing human being. Chamberlain reveals himself as earthy and humble while revealing some of the highlights of his career. Lots of fun and humor. I love his spirituality although putting so much reflection and teaching in a memoir was a little off-putting and out-of-place.

[Terri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Throughout my life, I have, on occasion, settled my attention on one thing or another, digging into as much information as I could, learning, delving, until I exhausted the available information or my curiosity on a given subject. Some of things I have studied have been people, some cultures, sometimes historical events....curiously, this pattern of insatiable knowledge seeking began with a teen crush on Richard Chamberlain.

In 1980, I was 15 years old when my Mother decided to watch Shogun. Since we had only one TV in the house, I could either watch or find something else to do. I watched. The story filled me with great wonder. Mr. Chamberlain's performance, captivated me and I admit, I developed quite a little celebrity crush - the fact that he was 30 years older than myself seemed not to matter at all. More endearing, however, I developed a desire to learn more about the world we live in, it's cultures, history, etc. Of course, much of this inspiration can be placed on the doorstep of James Clavell's beautiful story, but if Mr. Chamberlain's performance had not been captivating, the story would never have touched me.

It was out of a sense of gratitude for that early inspiration, that I picked up this book. In this book, the author details his path to his own spiritual and intellectual growth. I was personally tickled to see that he had several profound realizations that came from such mundane things as watching an episode of TV or examining a character or even just a palm tree - just like me! I guess you never know what in life's mundane offerings will spark tinder and lead you toward a bonfire of worthwhile self discovery.

If you are looking for a book filled with sexual or personal revelation, or Hollywood dirt, then this book probably isn't for you. It is a book of healing, self-discovery, and forgiveness - and most of all an examination of Love in all of it's varied forms. It is a beautiful insight into a deeply spiritual and sensitive man, who hid behind a public image created as a protection against revealing his own self-doubt. It is thought-provoking and beautifully written. Beautifully Written! It doesn't seem fair that one man should be so physically gifted, then also be granted such talents in acting, music, art, and now writing - to develop with such skill. The fact that he also has a beautiful and loving soul just makes reading his memoir so much more lovely. I particularly loved his definition of 'Shattered Love', I won't give it away, but it is a beautiful theory of what divinity is and how it affects everyone and everything.

His spiritual beliefs may not suit everyone's taste. His beliefs have obviously been developed through his own purposeful study and extensive contemplation. But the depth of what he believes and the positive way in which it has brought him to a place of personal enlightenment and contented joy is what I found fascinating.

Far from exhausting my interest in this beautiful man, I admit my crush is now stronger than ever. (My husband will understand.) Again, Mr. Chamberlain has given me much to contemplate and more subjects to research and study. I wish him not only well, but continued peace and much joy and add my love to his, and thank him for the gift of this - his very thoughtful memoir.

[Mediaman · Rating 1 out of 5]

As memoirs go, this one is pretty bad--Chamberlain fills the pages with spiritual psychobabble, putting up a fake front to keep the reader from truly getting to know him. He admits in the early pages that he feels he is above others and has the need to put on a false self, trying to reveal some of his inner thoughts, but along the way he gets sidetracked by meditation, LSD, mediums and other New Age experiences that he claims put him in touch with the universe. He lost me when he claimed that God is as much in a tree as He is in a human.

There is almost nothing in the book about his early career--he skips through Dr. Kildare in a couple paragraphs and summarizes a slew of movies in a couple sentences. There is more detail about the mini-series but not enough. Pretty much every actress he worked with is lavished with hyped praise. But he rarely gives meaningful stories of the people he worked with and he makes sure to cover up any private details about his personal life before his permanent boyfriend.

There are times the book is just plain boring, such as describing international trips with his male lover. To simply state the facts of where you stayed or ate does not make for interesting reading! It's nice that he could afford multiple homes and spend most of his life in Hawaii but he makes his life seem downright mundane (which it may very well be).

I reread the book in 2020 (eight years after I originally read it) and it still seemed bad. He claims his purpose in the book is to enlighten people on spirituality, love, and forgiveness. But most of what he rambles on about is meaningless. I do admire him for saying that his being gay is one of the least important things about him, but to write a book and say nothing about his sex life or his dating history as a famous gay man in Hollywood is disappointing.

In the end Chamberlain is a very sad, self-centered person who blames his ills on his formerly alcoholic father. The problem is that dad turned his own life around through AA when Richard was young and dad is actually is the one who helped Richard start his career through setting up a key meeting. Chamberlain refuses to focus on the positive things in his dad's life and instead seems stuck in the bitter child-of-an-alcoholic syndrome. While the actor's words say he is now happy and at peace, it's obvious that he really is still that sad little boy who still wants to be loved.

[Richard Jespers · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a strange memoir for a celebrity to write. Chamberlain alternately is forthcoming, then almost coy. For example, he holds forth about his early life. Dominant mother. Cold father. Favored older brother who can do no wrong. Ho hum. At the same time, he creates an emotional distance by which he almost bears it all, but then reverts to abstractions.

He is probably most forthcoming when he speaks of his acting career, in TV, film, and on the stage. These are the most articulate sections. He’s probably inherently a nice guy, wanting to be liked. And he isn’t going to say anything to upset anyone, either living or dead.

Chamberlain’s alcoholic father eventually becomes a member of AA and even works on behalf of the organization in a very zealously religious manner. Chamberlain breaks away from that position by studying (I deduce from his readings) Zen Buddhism. Much of it is familiar territory to those of us who have also studied it and/or meditation. It is in these sections that Richard Chamberlain is most abstract. It is difficult for any of us to describe “spiritual” experiences, and he tries, but they seem largely ephemeral. These occupy the last third of the book, in short two- and three-page chapters, and I found myself flipping through them, scanning them quickly because they seemed devoid of content, void of the vitality found in the earlier chapters—almost as if his acting career were the most vibrant aspect of his life.

Funny, when I was fifteen, there appeared an article about Chamberlain in the TV Guide. The accompanying photograph featured his lanky twenty-eight-year-old body in white swim trunks. I ripped that picture out and kept it in my stash of such photos for several years. I had no idea that he was gay like me. How wonderful it would have been to know then that he was. What a fine role model. Throughout the book, Chamberlain refers to his gay life: his yearnings, Martin his longtime companion. Yet one feels that he provided this part of his life as an add-on feature, not something integral to his life. So many creative people are gay! Even the one he played in a film, Tchaikovsky. Fewer abstractions, more concrete examples, please!

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved Richard Chamberlain when I was a kid. He was my first big crush. As an adult I've followed his career as it waxed and waned. Recently saw him in Spamalot and saw a funny, engaging, talented actor. I wish he brought some of that humor to his memoir. Chamberlain admits to being aloof and disconnected and difficult to love because he keeps people at arm's length. He does the same with his memoir. He speaks of a difficult, alcoholic father and yet we never really feel the pain that his father brought to his life. He admits to being closeted throughout his first 60 years but he doesn't explore that impact on his relationships. He puts career before love because he says he needed to be adored as an actor and leading man. He doesn't share how the low points of his career made him feel. I didn't need a gossipy "tell-all" book and I'm relieved that Mr Chamberlain avoided that but this felt more like philosophy than memoir. He keeps readers at arm's length throughout. Mr Chamberlain is in his 80's now and I hope he has found the love and acceptance that was there for him all along.

[Nancy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was generally dull except the chapter on the making of Shogun in Japan and all that went wrong with the making of the film. I hope that by now, the American crews wouldn't be so insensitive to the japanese culture. It is sad that actors still regard their need to be closeted as so necessary to their careers. The public may be moving beyond that. But who could really be surprised that Richard Chamberlain is gay?

[W.J. Gunning · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to really share Richard Chamberlain's experiences but although the book was truthful it somehow felt disconnected. I wanted to feel the heart of this man, but he never engaged my full attention. The story was there but not the flow.

[Whistler's Mom · Rating 4 out of 5]

When an angry drunk sobers up, what do you have?

I bought this book because it was a Daily Deal and I'm a sucker for a bargain. I'm not a show biz fan and have never seen any of Chamberlain's movies or mini-series. I suppose I was curious if there was anything behind the pretty face. There is and I was caught up in the life story of this intelligent, talented, sensitive man.

Chamberlain says frankly that he wanted to write a book about his search for spiritual awareness but his publishers forced him to include biographical information to sell the book. I think they were right. I skipped over the long sections about his philosophical beliefs, although some readers might find them interesting.

I was interested in his description of his show business career because he was typecast as a heartthrob and could certainly have made plenty of money playing idiotic characters in idiotic shows. Instead he made an effort to learn the craft of acting and gained the respect of actors who had previously dismissed him as a light-weight.

It's not a tell-all. His stories about co-stars are kind and tactful, but entertaining. I loved his take on Gloria Swanson - one of the great characters of the movie industry.

But the value of the book is his poignant story of growing up with an alcoholic father. Unlike some alcoholics who are abusive when drunk and loving when sober, Chamberlain, Sr. was always coldly critical of both his sons and his wife. So it isn't surprising that this pattern of psychological abuse continued even after he sobered up and became a major player in AA.

The son deals with this as objectively as he can, pointing out that his father was an inspiration for many recovering alcoholics. That's nice, but it doesn't help his family. Anyone who's experienced it knows the frustration of hearing a parent or spouse praised by outsiders as a paragon when the truth is very much the opposite.

Addiction is terrible, but you don't have to be an addict to be a lousy spouse and parent. And no one really knows what's going on in a family except the family members themselves. Chamberlain's honesty lays bare a subject that many people prefer to sweep under the carpet. This is more than a celeb bio. I'm glad I read it.

[Katrin · Rating 2 out of 5]

An unusual autobiography, as Chamberlain himself explains: Originally, he had wanted to write some sort of "philosophy book", and it still shows. There's a lot of rambling about meditation, for example, or the love between the people which is so important. These things do make the book special and its author likeable and human, but there's way too much of the stuff. The bits about his actual life are more interesting, especially about his lifelong struggle to hide his true self behind a smiling facade.

[Barbara · Rating 2 out of 5]

For such an interesting and intelligent man, this was one slooooow and boring book. Nothing titillating. C'mon - don't all Hollywood stories tell deep secrets?

[Annie Booker · Rating 4 out of 5]

A deeply personal look into the life of this beloved actor.

[Andrea Zuvich · Rating 4 out of 5]

A refreshing memoir by a famous actor in that I continued to like him after having read it (which usually doesn't happen, in my experience). Each section is like a short essay about a given topic, but all these generally form a chronological order and are quite fascinating. Chamberlain seems a very likeable, thoughtful individual and I enjoyed learning about his views on a variety of topics. There was a lot of talk about spirituality, meditation, and other mystical subjects (topics which I tend to find a little tedious), but I'm happy they make him happy. Whatever floats your boat, right? When this book came out when I was in high school, I thought the title "Shattered Love" was unnecessarily overdramatic but it finally made sense in the chapter of the same name: 'We are a manifestation of divine curiosity. We are shattered love. We splintered human beings embody divine inquiry into its own eternal nature.' I enjoyed this book, particularly the bits about The Thorn Birds, The Three Musketeers, and Chamberlain's travels around the world. He comes across as an individual who can see the beauty in everyday life and really appreciates life.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew Mr. Chamberlain as a customer where I work in a store in Honolulu just in the past few months, besides having watched and enjoyed his acting mostly in television productions. After waiting on him several times, I told him my favorite of what he had done was the mini-series “Shogun”. We had a wonderful conversation about that production and also about the novel. Then a few weeks later I woke on Sunday March 30 to the breaking news that he passed away the night before. I was stunned and sad. But remembering our chat about “Shogun” I will always hold it as a very special memory…and smile.

In reading his obit, I discovered this memoir “Shattered Love” and got it and read it in one day. It is a mix of him talking about what work he did as an actor and, later in life, as a painter (something he put aside for acting) plus he described evolving as a human being, especially spiritually, and learning to “just be”.

[Kay Carver · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an autobiography, but not a book of film antidotes. This is about the man, his feelings, his beliefs. Yes there are references to his film career, there had to be, but even these are an illustration of how he felt when making them.
I found his writing style to be easy and honest and felt I learnt from it.

[Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all) · Rating 1 out of 5]

An alternative title for this book might be "Poor Richard's Almanac." I don't know if it was actually written by Mr Chamberlain or ghost-written "in collaboration". I do know that the style of his letters written to friends while he was in the service, quoted in the book, was much more vivid and engaging than the rest of the text, which could have done with some serious editing, and that Mr Chamberlain doesn't appear to listen to himself when he writes. He goes on and on about his journey to "become real", and yet all we are given is a very superficial account of his actual life. Oh, the emoting is there, in a way...but it's not really attached to anything. The first few chapters were interesting, but soon I realised that we weren't really being given an autobiography at all. With all his droning about "honesty", I doubt he was honest with himself in writing this book. First we are told he went to the UK "to study acting" and then, when he gets there, he just makes a few films and TV series. No acting classes, just on-the-job training as it were. Events, people, important jobs are glossed over in a few words.

And for all the New-Age touchy-feely "love is everywhere, we are love, you are love" he spouts, he can assassinate a person in a sentence or two. Witness what he has to say about Burgh Joy, the person who led the workshop that apparently led to his first "epiphany" of the warm-and-fuzzy sort: "A good teacher discourages dependence. He empowers the student, not himself. Brugh folded up his magical tent and was gone." Yeeee--ouch! Anger, much? Given Mr Chamberlain's negative use of the words "magic" and "magical" throughout the text (to mean a superficial façade or emotional fakery), this is indeed damning with faint praise. When he started about "everything is God, and the druggie dying on the street is God, learning through that experience," I lost interest.

I don't think I'll finish this book. If as others say it's more of the same, all the gurus and alternative philosophy don't seem to have helped Poor Richard much. It's also interesting that the cover photo looks totally unlike him in any photograph, film or video I've ever seen, even live interviews.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always enjoyed Chamberlain as an actor. But I was not prepared for the story of his life. He portrays his struggle for affection, approval, and attention as a child who did not fit in his family. He was emotionally mismatched to a pscyhologically abusive father. Sensitive and introspective, Chamberlain battles his preoccupation with being different and his preoccupation with the feminine - both forced underground by his oppressive father. He shares victimization with his mother. In this book, he defines his long series of pursuit of spiritual and therapeutic mentors. He never seems to connect his childhood to his adulthood but treats them separately. One of his quotes that I found thought provoking was Krishnamurti's "When thought ceases, where is self?". Chamberlain was not only a victim of a dysfunctional family but also a society that has not dealt intellectually with homosexuality.

[Anthony V. Toscano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mr. Chamberlain's memoir is excellent because his writing is clear and honest. His story is, of course, one that begs a reader's interest. A man who owns such enormous talent, and one who creates such exciting experiences on stage and in film is bound to awe those of us who live more mundane lives. Richard does indeed awe me. As well, after reading his book, I am impressed that humility and openness to whatever life presents are at the center of his strength as a human being. Chamberlain's writing explores his impressions of life and his position in the universe. I believe that a person is well set to respect the distinction between what an author gives as an opinion and what the reader's opinion might be. My opinions are different from Mr. Chamberlain's where spiritual matters are concerned. So be it. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the privilege of reading Richard Chamberlain's take on life. And surely we must remember that this book is his memoir.

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I was little, I had the most intense crush on Richard Chamberlain so it was with some trepidation that I picked up his autobiography. I had learned for a good while that he had come out so wasn't shocked by that and I was eager to read about his early years and what made him tick. He is one of the first stars I have read about who didn't have a tragic childhood though his father did have a drinking problem. He definitely paid his dues in Hollywood and the stories of how he got cast for the things he really wanted to play was interesting. I began to lose interest when he began to talk about his spiritual life however and this brought the book back down to earth. I am still a fan though and appreciate having read his story.

[Chrisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well it's not the best biography I've read but I've learned things about him. I'm glad that he managed to face his demons and that finally can be true to himself.

He's a man that has built walls around his personal life and I think that it's not bad. It's called personal life for a reason.

The thing I liked most is his relationship with his husband. They're many years together and it seems that there is love, acceptance and respect between of them. And theses are things that lack in the relationships theses days.

I always liked him and I can say that after reading this book I like him more because he tried and succeed to change and evolve. And that is something I really admire.

[Rena Searles · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this "memoir", but found it to be less of a personal history than snatches of philosophy and spritual teaching which Chamberlain feels have shaped his life-learning. I just think it could have delved deeper into what makes Richard tick, but given his story perhaps this was a deep as he could bring himself to go.

[Ruth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected much more out of this book since Chamberlain was my high school 'heart throb'. I didn't realize he came from such a unloving home and was, of course, up set that he has homosexual. Not the greatest of memoirs.

[Marcia Silva · Rating 2 out of 5]

interesting person who had a sad childhood and took his life much too seriously worrying about what others thought of him. I did not enjoy the book but kept reading hoping he would become more at peace with all his success.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not that great of a read. Mr. Chamberlain stressed too much of his philosophical pursuits (you can tell he was very "into" the sixties and seventies) and not enough of how that philosophy has shaped him and his life. Convoluted at best. Not a book written for his fans

[Patricia Hullett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always loved the actor Richard Chamberlain and I am very impressed with his memoir Shattered Love. He was 69 when this book was published, so if my math is correct he would be 81 now. I hope he is still enjoying his life and happily painting.

[Nutty · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried. It's not my style. It drags along with some of the most useless details, sprinkled with "hidden teachings" from a clearly illuminated person (rolling eyes). But I can see why some would eat this up with a big spoon.

[Ann L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought it was a great book. I've always been a fan of Richard, so I enjoyed his memoirs INCLUDING his spiritual journey as I could relate to it; and I appreciate his humbleness of coming out of the closet, his troublesome image challenges, and his life in general.