I Choose Myself

by Deepti Vempati

Deepti Vempati is many breakout star of Netflix’s hit reality dating show, Love is Blind , Indian immigrant, data analyst, daughter, sister, and a symbol of women’s empowerment. Deepti captured the hearts of audiences across the globe when she turned down her fiancé at the altar—a man who, unbeknownst to Deepti, repeatedly belittled her and criticized her appearance on-screen. Millions watched as Deepti uttered the now-famous words that became a rallying cry for women “I’m choosing myself.” In this exclusive, tell-all book, Deepti pulls back the curtain on the world of Love is Blind sharing never-before-heard details her relationships inside and outside of the pods and what really happened after After the Altar. Deepti also shares her personal story. Born in India and immigrating to the USA when she was a child, Deepti struggled with her bicultural identity. From feeling caged by societal standards, to entering the dating world, to gaining (and losing) 70 lbs, to becoming an overnight celebrity, Deepti takes readers on her journey of self-discovery and proves that the most important relationship you can have is with yourself. Charity A percentage of book proceeds will be donated to charities supporting mental health and survivors of domestic abuse.

About the Deepti Vempati is a TEDx speaker, reality TV star and influencer. With over one million followers on social media, Deepti uses her platform to inspire others to find their voice and stand up for what they believe in. Praise for I Choose Myself :
"Deepti is a role model for all women. Her story reminds us that we have the power to choose ourselves every single day." —Deepica Mutyala, Founder & CEO of Live Tinted

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Book Club, Biography, Autobiography

190 pages, Paperback

Published September 10, 2022

Reviews

[Neha · Rating 2 out of 5]

I watched Deepti on LIB and her journey was empowering. But this book…. Some stories aren’t meant to be turned into books. Or maybe she needed a ghost writer, I don’t know. It wasn’t compelling, at times feeling like I’m reading a high school essay on her life. A lot of the things she talked about the show was stuff that was already aired, and I’m not sure if it’s because they had to sign NDAs or something else, they just were redundant and didn’t really express anything different about her experience on LIB.

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely adored this. It’s always weird giving a rating to a book about someone’s life and experiences but this was so beautiful. Deepti is such a strong woman and reading about her journey through life was heartbreaking but even more inspiring. It’s a really quick read with a voice that keeps you hooked from the beginning.

Oh. Also: fuck Shake. Still. Even more so after reading this. Deepti: you are so fucking strong - not just for all you’ve had to face in life, but also for resisting the *I’m assuming* strong urge to punch that man’s teeth in.

[Danielle Johnston]

No Rating.

Read this book if you’re a reality TV junkie and want some behind the scenes drama. This also had some good advice about growing as an individual and moving on from toxic situations. I’ll be honest, it’s not well written (so many grammatical errors 😵‍💫), and she clearly just published her journal, which is fine. Just know you aren’t getting a very well written book, just kind of a journal about her life story (which was interesting) and experiences on love is blind. I also thought as I was reading if the relationship with Shake was actually as bad as she claims shame on Netflix for letting it continue and having her be embarrassed like that. They should have told her what was happening, given her the option to leave, and not have those moment aired. I’m glad she came out of it a reasonably mentally healthy and seemingly happy person.

[Rocio · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like Deepti and watching her on Love is Blind was so empowering. As for this book, it fell so short for me. Deepti is beautiful inside and out and I was expecting so much more from this book. This debut autobiography had so much potential but it seems rushed and poorly written.

[AllBookedUp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Firstly, let me explain why I’m giving it a four star rating. This is an autobiography. It’s experiences from a reality star from the Netflix series show “Love Is Blind.” It’s not for me to judge her life. Be forewarned. I’m giving lots of spoilers. If you don’t want to know, stop right now. Do NOT read any further. If you want the good gossip, then let’s get on with my review.

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Deepti was born in India where when add a young child, she didn't understand about social classes. She often have the servants food.

She later moved to Chicago and throughout her school years, suffered with bulimia, Catfishes guys on social media until thinking she's white, accepted to going to a prom with a guy while catfish him but two weeks prior, the police showed up when they realized she was catfishing the boy (yeah, didn't understand that one), had many toxic codependent relationships with guys only to breakup and get back together with those guys.

Her friends told her about Love Is Blind, went on it. Liked Kyle, Shyne, and Sal but Julie and Iyanna convinced her to give Shake a chance. Picked him, things were fine until he saw her in her bathing suit and started giving her the distant detached attention. She tried to make him feel relaxed by telling him they don't have to get married. Meet his parents. Didn't have a place to stay so she moved in with him and they sleep together as they cuddled. Heard her spoke trash about her through a mutual friend, realized she was in a toxic relationship with him and left him at the alter.

At the reunion, she had seen their show and started the producers actually cut out all the garage Shake said about the other contestants. After the reunion, they all went to eat together and her showed up, took photos with them and left.

She and Kyle started to hang out together but both dated other people. The After Show was when she and Kyle started to really date she they moved in together but he was super flirty with other ladies. Co dependent relationship starting again and the pressure from the public having them date and move on together was too much on Kyle. He started to feel the pressure and they decided to end things.

[Joyce Nicole Rivera González · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a brief read by Love is Blind's breakout star Deepti Vempati. Like many, I was (unwillingly) hooked on the saga of the show's second season, where Deepti was beloved by all after 'choosing herself' at the altar, saying no to a shallow, egotistic fiancée that had disparaged and spoken ill of her throughout the show.

I was pleasantly surprised to read that the book was not only about Deepti's LiB experience; she instead delves into her struggles with co-dependency in previous relationships, her body image insecurities that plagued her since she was a child, her complicated relationship with food and her eating disorder, and the internal tensions between Deepti's roots and her wish to fit in in white American suburbia. Deepti's vulnerability was touching; it really felt like she was telling you these stories herself, over wine and movies at a girls' sleepover. Or like a really personal blog. Stylistically, the book is quite simple, which was OK. I do wish the editing had been a bit more solid; there are some clichéd figures of speech, as well as some repetition throughout. Structurally, I also wish that it had been sectioned by themes, rather than chronologically.

Lastly, although I really appreciated her exploration of these life-forming experiences, I do wish the stories behind the pods had been a bit more fleshed out. If you have been following the LiB drama since the release of the last episodes of the season and the reunion, there is not much in the book that will surprise you. For example, I thought we would be able to find out more about the connection that Kyle and Deepti had in the pods, which was completely edited off the show, but we don't get much of that (we do get one chapter on their relationship, which also left me wanting a bit more, tbh). The few aspects that really did give us some new stories (like more of Shake's horrible personality) were skimmed over. It read as if Deepti was still conflicted between wanting to tell her story while also not delving too much on the negatives, especially in the second half of the book (in her personal stories at the beginning, individuals are anonymized via pseudonyms).

Having said all that, I am really so happy Deepti got to share her story with the world, and I hope it can offer some respite to folks struggling with similar concerns, insecurities, and struggles.

[Lara · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐3.5

"Choosing myself really means pouring the same amount of love and energy that I do in to others so freely, to give that back to myself."

[Jessica Plate · Rating 1 out of 5]

So baaaadddddd I wanted to love this because I love LIB and Deepti’s storyline and bad bitch energy, but this book was a painful read. It was very obviously self-published, poorly edited, and weirdly focused on catfishing? Ugh. It seems like she wanted to rush it out to ride the wave of popularity from the show airing, and it just wasn’t ready.

[Scott Guy · Rating 2 out of 5]

deepti is very sincere and i bought this book because i wanted to know all the tea, but unfortunately the writing in this book was brutal. The book needed several edits in order to be grammatically correct, let alone a good read. As well, the actual content wasn’t that interesting and the timeline was super unclear - i think one’s life needs to be more interesting in order to write a memoir.

[Allison 🐝🐝 · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you’re considering self-publishing without an editor… spare yourself the effort & spare me my time. Don’t publish at all.

Deepti’s vapid obsession with weight gain and loss, psychology buzzwords, and barely-suitable men was deeply disappointing. Her phrasing often creates awkward sentences that could’ve done with a clean-up from an editor (an 11th grader could’ve done the job - truly, just keeping the tenses on track would’ve helped). There’s no creation of connection between audience and the narrator. It has potential, offering vulnerability, but comes off cold and disconnected. A little editing could’ve done a lot to make this a decent read. Unfortunately, as a result, the book lacks depth.

She reveals behind-the-scenes happenings - what really happened to her relationship with Shake and, eventually, Kyle, which is the only redeeming quality about this book.

I was a fan of Deepti on Love is Blind and felt hopeful about this book. Instead, I joined her on a journey through a series of men - where she never learns her lesson, and never asks for more than the bare minimum from partners who quite frankly should be exiled. I wish her book centered more on learning about herself and her own interests, instead of reflecting on events unfolding in her terrible relationships. Deepti clearly suffers from being a lousy “picker” of partners - a trait I think many can relate to in today’s world. This could have been a powerhouse book from a relatable author that would’ve served single women everywhere, but wanders too much and too far to be of any use.

I hope that Deepti is truly choosing herself these days - by avoiding bottom-feeders who can’t be bothered to commit, and by paying an editor for her next (?) writing project.

[theirishbooklover]

Empowering, Insightful, Honest.

Love is blind is one of my favourite reality TV shows. I followed Deeptis journey on season 2 of Love is blind so when I saw Deepti had a book coming out I knew I really wanted to read it.

I love when an author narrates a book. Deepti narrates this book herself and her voice is really nice to listen to I think. Deepti and Shakes journey on love is blind is a small part of the story shared in this book.

Deepti isn't afraid to share both the good parts and the not so good parts of her life in this book. I really enjoyed hearing a bit more of an insight into the behind the scenes of Love is blind.

[Jenny Daniels · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was so incredibly anxious to finally read this book! I had been endeared by Deepti since I started watching Love is Blind and throughout her journey with Shake and then Kyle. I assumed the book would be a little about her childhood and more about the show. It was the reverse. Not much about the show. It’s ok though as it really allowed her the opportunity to write about her self esteem and how she was perceived growing up. I hope she finds someone who truly cherishes her.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was beautiful, heartbreaking, relatable, and so much more. Deepti has always been my favorite, and since the show aired I look up to her. But this.. this book? Just made love and relate to her even more. She’s incredible.

I did have to stop reading halfway through for a while because it can be triggering to those with ED. But it’s definitely worth it if you can push through!

[Grace Boone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was infuriated by Shake in Love is Blind and, more importantly, appreciative and intrigued by Deepti and her character qualities.. so naturally I bought this on audible immediately after finishing Season 2. She is a beautiful storyteller and I loved hearing her familiar voice tell her story. Wouldn’t have wanted to listen to it any other way!

[Shania Ariya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love how honest and vulnerable Deepti is in this book. I loved a couple quotes she used such as “Rejection is redirection” and “When the flower starts to fade, you don’t change the flower; you change its environment”. Such a beautiful story with many important lessons.

[Bee · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book badly needed an editor before release. Sentences are awkward and we learn a lot about random people who never resurface later. Deepti tried, and for that I’ll give her credit. Only the last 1/4th is truly about her Love is Blind experience.

[Sarah Sherratt · Rating 2 out of 5]

you better believe I did

[Shelby Rule · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was incredible. I really enjoy listening/reading self-help books. I struggle with self-image issues and depression, I didn't just read this book because I loved Deepti from the reality TV show 'Love is Blind', but because of the way she handled her life and the marriage I am glad never happened. I remember watching the show and hearing that she recently lost 70lbs. I have been through my own weight gain and weight loss. I lost 50lbs at one point, but with personal things that happened in my life I gained everything back and some. I connected with Deepti during that chapter. Her entire high school experience was the same as mine. People thinking the thought of dating me was disgusting, and how I have constantly thought of what others think of me. I am on the path to getting my weight down, but also changing my mind set. There is a quote in the book where she says "training your mind is hard at the beginning and it won't happen right away" that stuck with me, because this has been an ongoing thing. If anyone were to ask me again who my role model would be, it would be her. I am so moved by her strength, intelligence and overall kindness. I would recommend this book to anyone regardless of the show, I think this book is perfect for young women discovering themselves and learning to grow with themselves and finding new relationships. 10/10!

[Kacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt like when I was reading her book, it was like two old friends catching up and getting to know each other. I loved learning so many things about her.

[Lindsay Rossum · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed learning more about Deepti’s backstory! I appreciated her vulnerability in sharing about her struggles and mistakes she has made like catfishing someone when she was younger. Her chapters about Love is Blind definitely gave more context about what she experienced and how she’s grown through being on the show.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Deepti impressed me so much on Love is Blind; she empowered herself and all women watching when she chose herself. After reading her book I connect with many of the struggles she went through in her life on a personal level. She’s brave and vulnerable, and I appreciated her sharing her experiences and more details about the show. Sadly had to deduct a star for the writing. Part of the proceeds also are going to mental health and domestic abuse survivors.

[Shantalie · Rating 2 out of 5]

LIB is an interesting social experiment and I though Deepti and Shake's story was pretty unique as demonstrated some interesting cultural dynamics. Obviously, we all know that Netflix series are edited in ways to make stories more basic and entertaining. In this case, Deepti was presented as the righteous victim representing all the rejected and down trodden women of the world while Shake was the bigoted douche bag who judged women based on the weight and looks. Obviously, we all know the story is more complex. Anyway, that I why I expected this book to be a bit of guilty pleasure.

Unfortunately, it wasn't. It was a slightly sad story which probably should have stayed within a therapist's office. The author thinks a lot of herself and seems to believe that being on a Netflix reality show has propelled her to stardom and somehow the world suddenly cares about her opinion on all of this self-love stuff. Not really. She is monotonous, continuosly playing the victim card and this poorly written book doesn't do her any favours. The audiobook takes things even further with bonus inputs from her family members. It is cringeworthy. Do yourself a favour and don't lose 5+ hours of your life to this book.

[Shameem]

I occasionally dabble in some reality TV, and Love is Blind: Season 2 was one of those dabbles. It is rare for me to see not only a South Asian woman but a South Indian woman in the position Deepti was, and that intrigued me. Knowing what that conservative upbringing is like firsthand, I was curious about her book.

I chose not to rate this book on a stars metric. If I was forced, to, I guess I’d say it’s somewhere between 1 and 3 stars. Every star would entirely be for Deepti’s vulnerability and honesty. I have to imagine it is extremely difficult to share much of what she shared about some of the darkest times in her youth, and I appreciate and value that strength and transparency.

I did have to pause and remind myself, however, that this is a first-time memoir and not at all like the books I usually read. It’s not the greatest writing — but to be fair, it doesn’t need to be. It’s her life, and she can express it however she pleases. It takes guts, as I said, and I respect that.

A portion of the proceeds from this book are being donated to charities supporting mental health and survivors of abuse.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved Deepti’s honesty and candor

This memoir did not disappoint, and makes me want to rewatch her season in LIB with a different perspective. As an Indian American born to immigrants, I greatly connected with what much of what she went through in her anxiety of how she was perceived and fit in while growing up, all through college. I commend how brave she was in being so open with her struggles with mental health and the resulting health disorders that arose from it. As SE Asians, these are not things that are normally talked about, but they should be.

Her writing style is great and her education in communications and journalism shows. She is a beautiful human being who is authentic about who she is, where she came from, and what experiences helped to shape her choices and viewpoints.

[Salma Morando · Rating 4 out of 5]

To be honest, I didn’t think I was going to relate to Deepti’s story so much. While I was reading it, I had a lot of ah-ha moments. There were many times where Deepti described things she was going through, that I’ve gone through or am going through, that I haven’t been able to express or put into words. She did what I can’t. One day I’ll be as strong as Deepti and choose myself. For now, I’m still learning and experiencing. I’m glad Deepti exposed Shake for who he is. He needs to learn to be a better human being.
Although I hate rating books about people‘s life story, I gave this one 4 stars because it wasn’t very well written and it kind of seems like everything just came out of her journal but then again, I think that’s what made it so authentic.

[Jenny · Rating 1 out of 5]

I relate to Deepti’s struggles around body image, binge eating, and feeling uncomfortable discussing relationships with her parents. It’s always comforting to know that others share similar struggles as you so I personally appreciated those aspects of this book.

Unfortunately I found the book to be poorly written, lacking editing that would have created cohesion, better flow, and proper sentence structure. While Deepti shared personal stories that required vulnerability, I still feel like this book lacked depth.

I wouldn’t recommend this book unless you’re a huge fan of Deepti and actually care to read stories from her younger years. The bonus is that it’s short so you won’t waste too much of your time reading it.

[Kevin Gallagher, Jr · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book—Deepti quickly became my favorite cast member across the various seasons of Love is Blind. And it’s not that her story isn’t interesting, especially when she gets to the beginning process of the show, but this book just isn’t written super well. It feels like it’s pieces of a journal that have been cobbled together to form a chapter, which leads to certain sentences (or the essence of a sentence) being repeated several times, just worded slightly different. I also am curious how much of this was lack of time to polish the book up—if I remember correctly, this was very specifically timed with the After the Alter special.

I’d be interested to see what Deeps could do with more time and structure.

[Manda Marigold · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting and emotionally authentic read. I have to admit I had a very vague understanding of who Deepti was before reading this book. The only thing I knew about her was that she was on season 2 of Love is Blind on Netflix. I gave up watching that season because I disliked the entire cast. In the book Deepti does not hold back. She delves deep (no pun intended) into her mistakes such as catfishing and her challenges such as binge eating. She said these situations along with many others discussed throughout the book helped shape her into who she is today. I really enjoyed hearing Deepti's life journey (so far) from her own perspective. Deepti seems like such a strong and powerful woman. Overall, this was a really great read.

[Andrea Bowden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I fell in love with Deepti while watching Love is Blind. Her story resonates with me on such a personal level.

No, I'm not an Indian American woman. No, I've never been on a reality show trying to find love. I do, however, struggle with my body and being comfortable in my own skin. I also tend to turn to food for comfort when I am hurting.

I loved reading more about her life and experiences and finding out how the story with Kyle plays out.

If you're a fan of the show and/or more importantly a fan of strong women, read Deepti's story.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an okay read. The part about Love is Blind was the most interesting. I liked reading more about what happened that they didn't show.

I felt like some of the sentences were repetitive and sometimes there was filler for the sake of filling more pages.

It kept my interest enough to finish, but I think she needs to live a little more to really have a more robust autobiography.

I do commend her for not making herself the hero in all of her stories. The stuff she did as a teenager was quite...interesting. It seems like she did learn from all of her experiences, so that's good.