When reviewing a middle-grade book, I always struggle with the fact that I am not the intended audience. I am no longer a child, and I readily confess I sometimes find it hard to imagine how I might have responded to a certain book had I read it when I was younger (sometimes, but not always; some books I know I would have loved and devoured!). This review is therefore about my experiences as an adult reading this book, though I do try and keep in mind how a child might respond to it.
Let me begin by saying I can clearly see the love and attention that went into it; that’s always a good and heartening thing to notice when reading anything, and I truly believe that love and enthusiasm and earnestness can really elevate a book and make reading it a pleasurable experience even if a book has a lot of flaws.
And this book does have some flaws. I think it could have been so much better if the first half (!) had been better. As it stands, I felt it was slow and repetitive, and it felt this way for one reason that I believe could (and should) have been caught during the editing process: I was not convinced of the danger that Penny was in. Yes, she starts to see people with white eyes and we are told this means the Fear Maker has stolen their souls, and at some later point we learn that the Fear Maker grows stronger with every soul he takes, but this didn’t feel like an active threat to me because the people with the white eyes might be scary but they don’t DO anything. Neither does the Fear Maker (apart from stealing people’s soul off-page). It probably doesn’t help that the people whose souls get stolen don’t mean anything to Penny (at least at first) so yeah, it’s scary for her to see those people, but it’s nothing more than that. And it’s a shame, because this could have been so scary! As it stands, seeing a nurse you’ve never met before just smile at you with white eyes is probably really creepy IRL, but it’s not creepy enough for a middle-grade book.
The problem I had with the first half also points to a deeper, structural problem: it’s only in the final third of the book that Penny decides to confront the Fear Maker and travels to his house. This part was creepy and riveting, and I wanted so much more of it! This should have been at least half of the book, perhaps even more (like what Lora Senf did with The Clackity). Now, it just felt like too little, too late.
It wasn’t all bad, though. The inclusion of poetry was fun, and I hope it will really captivate some younger readers and make them excited about poetry. The reworking of Shakespeare’s sonnet 130 was brilliant! I also loved the covert Van Gogh references throughout.
Overall, I think this book will definitely appeal to some people and it has lots of heart, but it could have benefitted from another round of structural rewrites.