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Apeshit

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3.7  ·  Rating details ·  923 Ratings  ·  126 Reviews
Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellicks love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psycho ...more
Paperback, 178 pages
Published October 22nd 2008 by Avant Punk Books/Eraserhead Press
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John Dies at the End by David WongVacation by Jeremy C. ShippHELP!  A Bear is Eating Me! by Mykle HansenThe Cannibals of Candyland by Carlton Mellick IIIApeshit by Carlton Mellick III
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Community Reviews

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Paul Nelson
May 30, 2015 rated it it was ok
What the fuck can I say about Apeshit, well pretty often, almost as easy as the flip of a coin, the story went from flat-out batshit crazy to head shaking incredulous wonder.
 
We have six college kids taking off for a break to a country retreat, one of the kids grandfather has died and left him the cabin. So that’s where they are heading. There's plenty of weirdness in this story, on the way up the perilous mountain road to the cabin they run past an area full of dead animals and a random dead bl
...more
Dan Schwent
Jul 14, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2011, bizarro
Six teenagers go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Little did they know they'd end up with a psychotic monster trying to kill them...

Wow. This was the goriest, craziest, goriest book I've read this year. I realize I said "goriest" twice but this book is so gory I thought one "goriest" wasn't going to cut it. It started out like a typical slasher movie. Three guys, three girls, various sexual entanglements. Then the inbred mutant showed up and things got turn
...more
Mark
Feb 18, 2013 rated it liked it
3.5/5

Maybe I've read too much splatterpunk. Folks like Skipp/Spector (John Skipp and Craig Spector), David J. Schow, and later authors like Edward Lee and Bryan Smith. And the granddaddy of them all: Clive Barker and his Books of Blood, Vols. 1-3. In splatterpunk, writers seek to push the envelope of good taste off the side of a desk, light fire to the envelope (and the desk), kick the smouldering ashes into the face of the first passerby, and - in some cases - stick out and wiggle their collect
...more
Bob Milne
Dec 12, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: bizarre-extreme
The back cover describes Apeshit as "perhaps one of the most f*cked up books ever written." That's an apt description. This is either the most revolting, graphic, offensive piece of splatterpunk horror I've ever read, or the most brilliant, original, insightful piece of satire upon the genre ever written.

Then again, maybe it's both. Or neither.

As far as basic plotting goes, this is part Friday the 13th, part Evil Dead, and part The Hills Have Eyes. Basically, a bunch of teenagers (the requisite
...more
Francesca
This book started really well for me. The story was already fairly obvious which kinds of teen slashers it was going to be spoofing and the characters were breaking all the stereotypes of the horror movie group of teens. I was sold. However, as the story progressed further I felt like I wanted a refund. The story remained entertaining throughout but not necessarily in a good way. More in a 'oh my god, what the fuck?' kind of way. Which, I guess means the author still did their job but the more c ...more
Kaisersoze
Jun 05, 2014 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Carlton Mellick III may not be my favourite writer, but he sure is intelligent. I know this because in his Author's note which prefaces Apeshit he defends against the obvious accusation that the book is shocking for the sake of being shocking by saying this couldn't be further from the truth. Instead he suggests he's trying to be interesting for the sake of being interesting.

Well if this is the type of "interesting" Mellick III is pedaling, I think I'll get my wares else where, thank you kindly.
...more
Stephan van der Linde
May 13, 2011 rated it really liked it
Mellick writes in the so-called “Bizarro”-genre. This is the second book I read of Mellick and this time it’s not the story that is so bizarre, it’s what happens in the story.

The cover says it all. “Apeshit” is a slasher. A slasher with a simple story about 3 teenage girls and boys, staying in a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere, with a mutant killer creature roaming around.

What this story mades it so bizarre, is the love-triangle between the characters, “certain seks-issues”, inexclip
...more
Bandit
Oct 13, 2011 rated it liked it
As a long time horror fan, I'm tough to gross out and/or disturb, but this book just about managed to do it. Mellick's take on the classic "teenagers go to a remote cabin in the woods, crazy things happen" is so amped up, so extreme, so incredibly messed up, that's sort of mesmerizing in a way. I think what I liked the most is how the author peels back layers upon layers (figuratively and literally) from the main characters revealing the ugliness and profound degree of "messedupness" that makes ...more
Rose O'Keefe
Dec 30, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: eraserhead-press
Most fucked up book I've ever published
Tonya Breck
Dec 28, 2011 rated it did not like it
Speaking as someone who's read --and completely enjoyed-- a lot of crack fic, parody novellas, and disturbing horror stories; this was extremely badly written crack fic at its worst. Perhaps there are people who want to read stories where none of the characters are relatable, redeemable, or even remotely realistic. It tries so hard to shock while not realizing that you have to care to some degree to be shocked. The characters are so removed from reality that it's impossible to care for them even ...more
John
Dec 05, 2016 rated it did not like it
After reading this I feel the need to scrub my brain with Lysol and a steel wire brush!
Angus McKeogh
Feb 12, 2017 rated it liked it
My first foray into "bizarro fiction". I wouldn't call this book a masterpiece, and it's certainly not the pinnacle of literary form or storytelling. But it was ridiculously campy, overtly disgusting, and cornily entertaining. I never reached a section where I considered setting it aside because I'd lost interest which for the moment is something to be said for whatever I've been reading. At least something fun enough to finish compared to the over-the-top boring "literary" works I seem to be im ...more
Michael
Jul 06, 2013 rated it it was amazing
As soon as I read the blurb I had to buy this. As a fan of Mellick and cheesy b-movies it was an obvious no brainer. You can look at Apeshit as an homage to cheesy horror or a parody and both would be correct. To be fair this book is a nasty yet fun mess.

Mellick has perfectly blended splatterpunk and bizarro and offers no apologies. There are quite a few disturbing scenes and the second half of the book is a gore fest. People that should die don't and as Apeshit winds to its conclusion you are
...more
Albert
Dec 07, 2016 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: horror
I only started reading Bizarro fiction a year ago or so, mainly because I wanted something different, and you can't get more different than Bizarro. Apeshit was ok, there were some memorable moments and overall this was a fun read, with the last 20% of the book getting totally crazy, and the ending was pretty sweet, however I prefer Mellick's other works for the sheer outrageousness that he injects into every aspect of his writing.
Matthew Fryer
Aug 03, 2011 rated it really liked it
Stop me if you’ve heard this before…

Six teenagers go to an isolated cabin for a party weekend of booze and sex, only to discover themselves being stalked by a mutant freak lurking in the woods.

Familiar? Of course it is. The author is an unapologetic fan of bad slasher B-movies, and this book is his indulgence. The problem can be that parodies of this kind often end up as a checklist of clichés masquerading as homage. But not here. We have Carlton Mellick III at the helm, and his imagination is f
...more
Ross Lockhart
May 23, 2009 rated it really liked it
"Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q" promises the back cover copy of Carlton Mellick III's Apeshit, and that's exactly what the book delivers; this is the literary equivalent of a Takashi Miike slasher flick, reveling in the conventions of B-movie horror, yet layering on enough gore, gristle, and grotesquerie to make even Kane Hodder squeamish. At the heart of the novel's plot is the requisite group of horny teenagers, heading out to the requisite isolated cabin in the woods for the requisite weeke ...more
William M.
Jun 29, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: horror, bizarro
4 AND 1/2 STARS.

After reading this book, it took me less than one minute to go online and order more titles from this author. He's that good. I've heard his name mentioned as one of the better writers of the new Bizarro genre, but I don't think that does him justice. Forget whether you like Bizarro or not, or even if you know that heck that is. Mellick is a great writer. Period. His prose is simple and direct, always cutting through the fat to get to the meat... and I mean the juicy meat. This
...more
David Richardson
Jun 06, 2014 rated it did not like it
Possessed female genitals, bisexual love triangles, mutated killers, abortion fetishes...yes it is as bad as it sounds. I couldn't even make it past the first 30 pages or so, not because of the horrific and taboo events that awaited me in the later pages but because it is a poorly written book and the prose reads like it was written by a five - year old with a box of crayons. It is promised to be in the same vein as Friday The 13th & Evil Dead, 6 teenagers in a remote cabin in the woods with ...more
Tracy
Nov 05, 2014 rated it it was amazing
I am a huge fan of CM3 and hadn't read any of his horror novels before. I love slasher flicks and psychological horror. This is a book version of everything I love about splatter and exploitation films and gives it that Bizarro twist we all know and love.

A hot, tattooed cheerleader named Desdemona, goes with a group of her jock and cheerleader friends on a camping trip. This is the start of a classic slasher but as soon as a road filled with dead animals and a living dead hillbilly turn up, you
...more
AndrewP
Jan 09, 2013 rated it did not like it
Shelves: horror
One day I came across a category on Amazon called 'Bizarro Fiction'. When I mentioned it to a friend he told me he had one of those books and would send it to me.
I guess when someone gives you a 170 page book and tells you they couldn't finish it's a red flag right there. Well, I went ahead and read it anyhow. Probably wish I hadn't as it was a VERY weird horror book that made me think a Quentin Tarantino making a gore flick with a shoestring budget. There is more gore, slaughter and downright
...more
Pedro Proença
Aug 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: eraserhead-press
It's not the violence that's disturbing.
It's the complete mix of strange and f***ed up characters that make this a really fun (and disturbing) reading experience.
Six high-school kids on a trip to a cabin in the woods, a sex-booze-drugs-filled weekend that goes terribly wrong. Maybe it was the sea of roadkill that was the first clue that this trip was not meant to end well. Maybe it was the semi-alive zombie in the road that runs off at the sight of the kids.
Maybe it was the really disturbing mat
...more
Tamara Romero
Aug 23, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: bizarro
There's a big bunch of goresque stuff going on here. Six guys -three boys, three girls- decide to spend a weekend at a lost cabin in the woods. But soon things will turn up really bad for them. This is a classic re-tell of FRIDAY 13th with a twisted bizarro vision. Fans of gore-y and splatter movies might definetely enjoy it. (Not really my thing), but it is a catchy story with interesting plot points. The most appealing thing for me in this book was the weird web of relationships among the six ...more
Sebastian
WTF did I just read? This is Bizarro fiction doyen, Carlton Mellick III's homage to the classic "cabin in the woods" story, complete with with redneck hillbilly mutants, abortion fetishism, undead and non-stop, gratuitous sick-ass perversion.

I wouldn't recommend this if you're a queasy reader but it's more gore and WTF than suspense thriller. An interesting introduction to the Bizarro genre.

Some classic lines:(view spoiler)
...more
Anthony Chavez
Jul 17, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: bizarro
Wooo boy what a doozy. I haven't read Carlton Mellick before but man was this a thrill ride. He definitely takes you to the edge of bizarro as many have stated, but watch out because if you are easy to get queasy you might wanna get off the ride before it starts. I'm not sure if this was the right book to introduce myself to Carlton Mellick as I have heard others of his have more witty and clever ideas but this definitely was a good book nonetheless.

Carlton takes us on a ride with characters wh
...more
Pierre
Nov 21, 2013 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Extreme horror fans only
Let's go off a path into a place where everyone has some really bad sh*t in their life baggage and is about to lay it all out and let's roll it up in a sick, twisted tribute to the well worn horror trope of the teens isolated in the deep woods log cabin. Can we get something good out of it? You bet! Does it go off the deep end by taking you into the deranged minds of the teens that wind up in these lost cabins when the movies can only deliver visuals of the gory bloodfests? You bet! Carlton Mell ...more
jasmine
All of them are mutilated. They have had limbs severed and sewn back on. They have missing pieces of meat. They are deformed and mangled, like living road kill.

hands down, this is the most fucked up thing I've ever read in my entire life. admittedly, I'm kind of new to this whole world of bizarro fiction, but... everything that I found myself thinking, "that would be disgusting, it definitely won't happen!" happened. this book had a little bit of everything: rape, abortion, molestation, torture,
...more
Duane
Jan 14, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: horror, mellick
I'm not entirely sure how to rate this book because I'm completely new to Carlton Mellick's Bizarro writing style. This novel is beyond strange and filled with more extreme gore and excessive violence than you can chuck a whirling chainsaw at. This book is NOT for MOST people and that's part of the reason I enjoyed it so much. With the flip of each page you think to yourself, "Could this possibly get even weirder?" and the answer is a resounding YES.

The writing is as straight-forward and simpli
...more
Hanaa
Jul 17, 2011 rated it really liked it
Read this book in a few hours and I'm glad I didn't put it down, even though it was a school night. Apeshit was well done, the character development was hilarious, albeit a bit rushed at times (Crystal having anti-social personality disorder is one example--Spoiler?)
Anyways, what good fun! I love b-movies and I enjoy the 'cabin in the woods' setting, and the inbreeding hillbillies. Oh how it reminds me of that one X-Files episode where Mulder finds this weird remote shack pretty much in the mid
...more
Eric
Sep 11, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: bizarro-fiction, 2012
If you've ever wanted to know what it would be like to bite into your own intestines, this book is for you. "She didn't know the taste of her entrails would be so vile as she bites into it. She can taste salty mucus as she puts it into her mouth. The skin of the intestine makes a popping noise as it breaks open, like the skin of an Italian sausage. A glob of sour feces squeezes onto her tongue like toothpaste... The taste of shit is bad enough, but the intestine has a lining of rotten build-up t ...more
Teresa
HOLY APESHIT!!! I have no real idea why I loved this book so goddamn much, but WOW! It hit me in a spot that hasn't been hit for a while. Its corny, trashy, and incredibly ridiculous. If you like cheesy, goofy horror movies, this book is for you. I'll admit, it may not be 'deep,' but it certainly works to take your mind off of everything for a few hours and I promise you will laugh your ass off. Don't miss it!
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Carlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.

Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock
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“Stephanie’s vaginal teeth scrape against him as she makes love to him. Kevin cringes as she presses her messy head wound against his cheek. He doesn’t enjoy the sex. It feels like he’s getting a really bad blowjob from a girl with big teeth and a small mouth.” 1 likes
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