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In Sensorium: Notes for My People
Fragrance has long been used to mark who is civilized and who is barbaric, who is pure and who is polluted, who is free and who is damned—
Focusing their gaze on our most primordial sense, writer and perfumer Tanaïs weaves a brilliant and expansive memoir, a reckoning that offers a critical, alternate history of South Asia from an American Bangladeshi Muslim femme perspective. From stories of their childhood in the South, Midwest, and New York; to transcendent experiences with lovers, psychedelics, and fragrances; to trips home to their motherland, Tanaïs builds a universe of memories and scent: a sensorium. Alongside their personal history, and at the very heart of this work, is an interrogation of the ancient violence of caste, rape culture, patriarchy, war, and the inherited ancestral trauma of being from a lush land constantly denuded, a land still threatened and disappearing because of colonization, capitalism, and climate change.
Structured like a perfume—moving from base to heart to head notes—IN SENSORIUM interlaces eons of South Asian perfume history, erotic and religious texts, survivor testimonies, and material culture with memoir. In Sensorium is archive and art, illuminating the great crises of our time with the language of Liberation.
Focusing their gaze on our most primordial sense, writer and perfumer Tanaïs weaves a brilliant and expansive memoir, a reckoning that offers a critical, alternate history of South Asia from an American Bangladeshi Muslim femme perspective. From stories of their childhood in the South, Midwest, and New York; to transcendent experiences with lovers, psychedelics, and fragrances; to trips home to their motherland, Tanaïs builds a universe of memories and scent: a sensorium. Alongside their personal history, and at the very heart of this work, is an interrogation of the ancient violence of caste, rape culture, patriarchy, war, and the inherited ancestral trauma of being from a lush land constantly denuded, a land still threatened and disappearing because of colonization, capitalism, and climate change.
Structured like a perfume—moving from base to heart to head notes—IN SENSORIUM interlaces eons of South Asian perfume history, erotic and religious texts, survivor testimonies, and material culture with memoir. In Sensorium is archive and art, illuminating the great crises of our time with the language of Liberation.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published February 22, 2022
77 people are currently reading
4648 people want to read
About the author
Tanaïs
3 books43 followersTANAÏS is the author of In Sensorium, and the critically acclaimed novel Bright Lines, which was a finalist for the Center for Fiction First Novel Prize, the Edmund White Debut Fiction Award, and the Brooklyn Eagles Literary Prize. They are the recipient of residencies at MacDowell, Tin House, and Djerassi. An independent perfumer, their fragrance, beauty and design studio TANAÏS is based in New York City. Follow them on Instagram at @studiotanais.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
February 20, 2022
I dont think my words will make this book justice, but let me try. "In sensorium" is probably one of the best memoirs I have read so far, it tells the story of queer Bangladesh/American, Tanaïs.
They did an incredible job by blending their life with history, teaching, showing us about their culture. From tales from their ancestors to their adulthood, we get to learn about so many things, language, religion, traditions, food, this book is rich in knowledge. I loved how they included scents as a way to remember, or just to make something an "individual", and now I'm dying to try one of their perfumes, maybe someday !
At times it felt a little dense, maybe it's because I'm used to reading a book in a couple of days as contrary to this one that took me a little longer, but it wasnt that much of a problem, it felt like a treat for myself. I look forward to rereading this and kind of studying it since there was a lot of new information to me and I know I can take a lot from this.
Something to add, the way they separated the chapters were really aesthetically pleasing for me, everything about this book felt just so beautifully done and with a lot of intention.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for providing me with the access to this eARC !
They did an incredible job by blending their life with history, teaching, showing us about their culture. From tales from their ancestors to their adulthood, we get to learn about so many things, language, religion, traditions, food, this book is rich in knowledge. I loved how they included scents as a way to remember, or just to make something an "individual", and now I'm dying to try one of their perfumes, maybe someday !
At times it felt a little dense, maybe it's because I'm used to reading a book in a couple of days as contrary to this one that took me a little longer, but it wasnt that much of a problem, it felt like a treat for myself. I look forward to rereading this and kind of studying it since there was a lot of new information to me and I know I can take a lot from this.
Something to add, the way they separated the chapters were really aesthetically pleasing for me, everything about this book felt just so beautifully done and with a lot of intention.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for providing me with the access to this eARC !
March 25, 2022
One thing the world is not short of is immigrant brown girl memoirs. So it takes something special, something different, some access to a deeper and more interesting reservoir of memory and emotion, even maybe some unique quirk or twist, to make another such title worthwhile.
Is this that work? Perhaps. The ostensible hook is perfume - Tanais is a professional perfumer, her lack of formal training no barrier to her breaking into this highly esoteric world. Perfume frames the narrative, provides the structure to the story, weaves in and out of the pages to intrigue and delight and educate, and often to baffle! What the fuck is Norlimbanol or Auranone anyway?! I guess I'll have to be more mindful next time I walk through the perfume lobby of Selfridges.
Among many other things, the book is an interesting view of contemporary identity politics in the USA, as seen from the window of a Brooklyn walk-up. The insolubility of these debates can appear daunting, and their invented language can bore the cynic no end. (A hot war in Europe isn't good for much, but it does tend to put all sorts of struggles into their proper existential perspective.) The novel jargon, the preoccupations and predilections of this cast of mind, the confusions and inherent contradictions of this brand of politics may or may not be your cuppa. Each reader must decide.
Far more accomplished to this reader is the middle section of the book, from the moment the author picks up the story of her Baj. To be sure, the author is something of a poet manqué, and as such she is quite incapable of writing a gauche phrase or a discordant sentence. From here on, Tanais is utterly compelling, her story as magnetic as all get out, even her prose attains a higher level of density and coherence than what has gone before. She delves through her history with great style and exceptional sensitivity - and here I use the word "history" in the very broadest sense - personal, familial, religious, sexual, political, national and transnational histories are what interest the author and she dives in head first, the vast scope of her research into these manifold pasts matched by the lightness with which she wears her hard-won learning. I defy even the most jaded reader of immigrant literature to remain unmoved by the emotions that Tanais brings to her account of her parents and her Nanu, her itinerant growing up across the American heartland, her religious upbringing smashing into her sexual awakening, her romances and heartbreaks, her constant challenges to class, caste, all the variations and expressions of Power. And then there is the piece de resistance - her genuinely fresh and even startling excavation into the history of her ancestral homeland, her dauntless exploration of the traumas of war and displacement, genocide and mass rape. The empathy and understanding - and fuck it, why not, COURAGE - needed to dive into this stank bog and then emerge from it all mucky and spent but clutching such pearlescent prose - to my mind, this is high art, the real fucking deal. Even for the native deshi reader, it is new, surprising, and phenomenally insightful.
And then those stories ebb away and we take the Q train back to the land of hipster cliche. Basic Brooklyn. I dunno. I can skip past the stuff I didn't like and take the stuff that I did. It will be interesting to see where Tanais goes next.
Is this that work? Perhaps. The ostensible hook is perfume - Tanais is a professional perfumer, her lack of formal training no barrier to her breaking into this highly esoteric world. Perfume frames the narrative, provides the structure to the story, weaves in and out of the pages to intrigue and delight and educate, and often to baffle! What the fuck is Norlimbanol or Auranone anyway?! I guess I'll have to be more mindful next time I walk through the perfume lobby of Selfridges.
Among many other things, the book is an interesting view of contemporary identity politics in the USA, as seen from the window of a Brooklyn walk-up. The insolubility of these debates can appear daunting, and their invented language can bore the cynic no end. (A hot war in Europe isn't good for much, but it does tend to put all sorts of struggles into their proper existential perspective.) The novel jargon, the preoccupations and predilections of this cast of mind, the confusions and inherent contradictions of this brand of politics may or may not be your cuppa. Each reader must decide.
Far more accomplished to this reader is the middle section of the book, from the moment the author picks up the story of her Baj. To be sure, the author is something of a poet manqué, and as such she is quite incapable of writing a gauche phrase or a discordant sentence. From here on, Tanais is utterly compelling, her story as magnetic as all get out, even her prose attains a higher level of density and coherence than what has gone before. She delves through her history with great style and exceptional sensitivity - and here I use the word "history" in the very broadest sense - personal, familial, religious, sexual, political, national and transnational histories are what interest the author and she dives in head first, the vast scope of her research into these manifold pasts matched by the lightness with which she wears her hard-won learning. I defy even the most jaded reader of immigrant literature to remain unmoved by the emotions that Tanais brings to her account of her parents and her Nanu, her itinerant growing up across the American heartland, her religious upbringing smashing into her sexual awakening, her romances and heartbreaks, her constant challenges to class, caste, all the variations and expressions of Power. And then there is the piece de resistance - her genuinely fresh and even startling excavation into the history of her ancestral homeland, her dauntless exploration of the traumas of war and displacement, genocide and mass rape. The empathy and understanding - and fuck it, why not, COURAGE - needed to dive into this stank bog and then emerge from it all mucky and spent but clutching such pearlescent prose - to my mind, this is high art, the real fucking deal. Even for the native deshi reader, it is new, surprising, and phenomenally insightful.
And then those stories ebb away and we take the Q train back to the land of hipster cliche. Basic Brooklyn. I dunno. I can skip past the stuff I didn't like and take the stuff that I did. It will be interesting to see where Tanais goes next.
September 29, 2022
তন্বী নন্দিনী ইসলামের দ্বিতীয় বই In Sensorium / Notes for my people। নামেই বোঝা যায়, আত্মজীবনী ঘরানার রচনা। তন্বী বাংলাদেশি বংশোদ্ভুত, বেড়ে উঠেছেন মার্কিন যুক্তরাষ্ট্রে। বয়েসে তিনি পাঠকের প্রায় সমসাময়িক বলেও- স্বীকার করি- তার গল্প শোনার জন্য বাড়তি একটা আগ্রহ ছিলো।
দারুণ, সত্যিকার অর্থেই দারুণ গদ্য লেখেন TaNaIs। কিন্তু সেই উৎকর্ষতা ছাপিয়ে তার বই নিয়ে এক শব্দে বলতে গেলে ব্যবহার করতে হয় আরেকটা বিশেষণঃ সাহসী। তন্বীর এই আত্মজীবনী অকপট এবং সাহসী।
নিজ ইতিহাস, আচার বা সংস্কৃতির ব্যাপারে যে কোনো দেশের নাগরিকের চোখেই একটা আরোপিত বুদবুদ থাকে। বৈশ্বিক প্রেক্ষাপটে সেই বুদবুদের ক্ষুদ্রত্ব অনুধাবন সবাইকে দিয়ে হয় না। তন্বী কিন্তু - খেলার মাঠের বাইরে বসে থাকা দর্শকের মতোই - বাংলাদেশকে দেখেন কোনো রকম চশমা ছাড়া। ফলে তার লেখা নানারকম গদগদে ভাব থেকে মুক্ত, পড়তে গেলে পাঠক বেশ একটা ঝাঁঝালো অনুভূতি পায়।
তন্বী- যিনি স্বশিক্ষিত একজন পারফিউমার- যা করেছেন, তা হলো সুগন্ধীর ইতিহাসকে আশ্রয় করে ভারতবর্ষের ইতিহাসকে তুলে আনা। নিজের মূলকে ব্যাখ্যা করতে গিয়ে তিনি বয়ান দিয়েছেন নিজের বর্তমান অবস্থানেরও, চোখে আঙুল দিয়ে যা পাঠককে বোঝায়- এই একবিংশ শতাব্দীতেও নারী সমাজে কতটা বৈষম্যের শিকার।
বইয়ের একটা বড় অংশই তন্বীর আত্নপরিচয় খোঁজার সেই টানাপোড়েনের গল্প। মানুষ হিসেবে, নারী হিসেবে, ভারতীয় তথা বাংলাদেশি হিসেবে। কিন্তু রাজনীতির সেই প্রবন্ধ নয়, লেখক সত্যি সত্যি পাঠকের কাছে আসেন, যখন তিনি শোনান নিজের গল্প। বাবার গল্প, মায়ের গল্প, ভালোবাসা পাওয়া, বা হারানো কিংবা ভালোবাসা আবিষ্কারের গল্প।
দারুণ, সত্যিকার অর্থেই দারুণ গদ্য লেখেন TaNaIs। কিন্তু সেই উৎকর্ষতা ছাপিয়ে তার বই নিয়ে এক শব্দে বলতে গেলে ব্যবহার করতে হয় আরেকটা বিশেষণঃ সাহসী। তন্বীর এই আত্মজীবনী অকপট এবং সাহসী।
নিজ ইতিহাস, আচার বা সংস্কৃতির ব্যাপারে যে কোনো দেশের নাগরিকের চোখেই একটা আরোপিত বুদবুদ থাকে। বৈশ্বিক প্রেক্ষাপটে সেই বুদবুদের ক্ষুদ্রত্ব অনুধাবন সবাইকে দিয়ে হয় না। তন্বী কিন্তু - খেলার মাঠের বাইরে বসে থাকা দর্শকের মতোই - বাংলাদেশকে দেখেন কোনো রকম চশমা ছাড়া। ফলে তার লেখা নানারকম গদগদে ভাব থেকে মুক্ত, পড়তে গেলে পাঠক বেশ একটা ঝাঁঝালো অনুভূতি পায়।
তন্বী- যিনি স্বশিক্ষিত একজন পারফিউমার- যা করেছেন, তা হলো সুগন্ধীর ইতিহাসকে আশ্রয় করে ভারতবর্ষের ইতিহাসকে তুলে আনা। নিজের মূলকে ব্যাখ্যা করতে গিয়ে তিনি বয়ান দিয়েছেন নিজের বর্তমান অবস্থানেরও, চোখে আঙুল দিয়ে যা পাঠককে বোঝায়- এই একবিংশ শতাব্দীতেও নারী সমাজে কতটা বৈষম্যের শিকার।
বইয়ের একটা বড় অংশই তন্বীর আত্নপরিচয় খোঁজার সেই টানাপোড়েনের গল্প। মানুষ হিসেবে, নারী হিসেবে, ভারতীয় তথা বাংলাদেশি হিসেবে। কিন্তু রাজনীতির সেই প্রবন্ধ নয়, লেখক সত্যি সত্যি পাঠকের কাছে আসেন, যখন তিনি শোনান নিজের গল্প। বাবার গল্প, মায়ের গল্প, ভালোবাসা পাওয়া, বা হারানো কিংবা ভালোবাসা আবিষ্কারের গল্প।
February 22, 2022
This is one of the most ambitious and extraordinary memoirs I have ever read! I've admired Tanaïs as a writer, intellectual, artist and purveyor of beauty for years now, yet this book still managed to exceed all of my wildest expectations. Even for those of us who believe we're well educated in Asian affairs and history, there is much to learn about Bangladesh, past and present. Tanaïs does so much to correct the archive that has been known to readers and students up until this point, weaving in the stories of so many femmes throughout history whose names are still new to many of us reading in 2022. This is so much more than one person's memoir in the way that the author extends a hand out to other members of South Asian diasporas -- even when they would not do the same to the author themself -- and finds solidarity with Black creatives and activists. The writing is confident, beautiful, educational, evocative and sensual, reflecting the author's brilliant, fiery intelligence and wit and vibrancy. This book is a celebration of beauty, love, kinship and the senses. A must-read!
May 11, 2022
A fucking reckoning of a book: It's a journey through histories, sexuality, senses, explores and shows the experience of those relegated to margin, to the peripheries, and I'm talking gender history and histories of peoples, religion, and culture. I love this book. I'm so glad she wrote it. This is some sacred stuff. Thank you for sharing this. Most importantly, this book is alive and challenging the current state of the world today. Letting us feel those little social discomforts that should be glaring discomforts, which you know in many ways is decolonization.
April 11, 2022
If you are of Bangladeshi heritage (and ofc, even if you're not), I implore you to read this memoir. Tanaïs' ethereal and heart-driven writing recognizes our history and legacy by bringing forward stories of women and femmes that were (often deliberately) suppressed. The book teeters back and forth between these bits of South Asian history and personal memories, both of which feel like moments of history woven through the fabric of scent, an interesting concept in and of itself. I felt really seen by the recognition of the erasure of Bangladeshis in the past and present of the South Asian narrative-thoughts that I've felt but seldom heard expressed in this medium. The recognition of the violent history, esp against women and femmes, is an important part of understanding our current standing in the world--as individuals and a collective. One of my favorite things about the writing is that even during crass and cold moments, there was still a warmth to the narration, and vice versa, without sacrificing the intention of the content. Tanaïs' writing truly is a journey, in every sense of the word, and the 'sensorium' experience is potent. I can't really explain what this memoir has done for me because it's hard not to connect to the content of the book as a Bangladeshi descendant myself, but I truly feel like this was something I needed to read. I'm very grateful this memoir was written.
I found myself not wanting the book to end when I got near. I finished this book as a different woman than the one I began as. It only felt apt to light some sandalwood incense and sit in silence once I finished.
I found myself not wanting the book to end when I got near. I finished this book as a different woman than the one I began as. It only felt apt to light some sandalwood incense and sit in silence once I finished.
February 6, 2022
This memoir blending history and senses and queerness felt like coming home.
March 8, 2022
From my heart to yours <3
December 23, 2022
book club book! always difficult to assess memoirs but i appreciated the creativity in style & variety of content that *told* the story (history, theory, personal narratives, quotes from everything from religious texts to voice notes). as seemed to be consensus from others in the book club, we wanted more on scent! more on the process of perfume creation, more on the story of becoming perfumers, more on the history/present of the relationship of scent to identity / culture / systems of oppression. i really expected that to be central to the book and it seemed very at the margins. found myself falling off in later parts of the book where i was less engaged. also one of the most beautiful book covers i've ever seen!
August 12, 2022
Was this meant to be a private journal with random thoughts and notes and personal introspection? A sexually charged/explicit letter to a lover? A letter to an unborn child? An ode to a father and dis on a mother? A complaint about not being cool/popular as a child? A list of perfume recipes to gin up sales on a retail website? I found the book riddled with contractions, distractions, open ended thoughts and stories and I wasn’t sure what the point was other then to use it as a platform for the author to rant about any injustice or perceived slight (personal or to people that lived thousands of years ago) and to promote retail sales of the author’s products.
May 10, 2022
there were some moments where I was really struck by the beauty of the writing, but overall it was just way too abstract for me, and the writer’s attempts to weave personal with sociopolitical narrative fell flat to me. I wish I came away from it understanding more about scent and perfumery! Really skimmed at the end
June 28, 2022
a gorgeously written exploration of scent as a space of memory, place, reclamation, and beauty. at times, i experienced whiplash as the text takes us from oral histories of bangladeshi survivors to brooklyn rooftop parties. but in all, an interesting, distinct ode to beauty and self-creation/self-fashioning/self-determination.
April 18, 2022
Gorgeously written book which is essentially a life story of a Bangladeshi Muslim Queer Femme who calls out patriarchal society and gives history lessons on South Asian countries and the colonialist violence they've endured while also holding court through the lens of perfume and scent. One of the best things I've had the pleasure of reading.
October 11, 2022
one of my favorite books that i’ve read this year. tanaïs weaves scent, trauma, history and personal storylines into a beautiful and heart-wrenching tapestry. i learned so much about desi identity and Bangladeshi history and perfume. this book truly changed my perspective on so, so much.
Read
May 1, 2022*don’t rate memoirs*
still gathering my thoughts on this one — found some parts really captivating, way more than others.
still gathering my thoughts on this one — found some parts really captivating, way more than others.
April 28, 2024
This was a gorgeous read that engaged all of my senses. Tanaïs is a gifted storyteller, perfumer, and observer of life! I loved that each chapter has its own perfume notes. Some were as descriptive as to note the head, heart, and base notes, which she then weaves into the story that follows, so that by the time you’ve reached the end of the chapter you fully understand the sensorium that she’s building. She traces the origins of certain fragrances, but also of Bangladesh itself. I learned so much! And where words might not accurately convey what she’s trying to describe, she invents them! Patramyths, mysticinicism, apocalypsexual— and she’ll explain the etymology and roots, and why she’s chosen them, and they make perfect sense!
Finally I’ll just add that within this story, which is based primarily around her experience as a Bangladeshi Muslim-Hindu femme, there is an ode to Black women that I found really lovely.
Finally I’ll just add that within this story, which is based primarily around her experience as a Bangladeshi Muslim-Hindu femme, there is an ode to Black women that I found really lovely.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 5, 2024
Tanaïs' language of victimhood and identity politics is hard for me to grasp. Having grown up in the East and migrated to the West as an adult in search of material well-being and liberty, I suppose I have a more optimistic and materialist outlook towards life than "woke" Western millenials. As a brown Muslim immigrant, I too am a subaltern in a white man's world, but my world looks vastly different than that of Tanaïs', deprived as I was of all the opportunities that come with being born in an individualist society and the most powerful economy in the world. If I were a woman, or a "non-binary" person, Tanaïs' world would have felt even more strange.
Perhaps, I am not their people after all...
Perhaps, I am not their people after all...
September 11, 2024
A memoir and an exploration of Bangladeshi history, colonialism, diaspora, identity, and queerness through scent mapping and perfumes. The theme of beauty being a form of resistance and healing is really brought together through a poetic prose and Tanais' soothing voice.
I loved that each chapter has it's own scent notes to help set the tone.
CW: domestic abuse, genocide, drug use, sexual assault, slavery
I loved that each chapter has it's own scent notes to help set the tone.
CW: domestic abuse, genocide, drug use, sexual assault, slavery
June 9, 2023
This is not going to be a book for everyone. It is raw, brutal, and heartbreaking with a breathtaking love for scent and the author's motherland all wrapped together. It is vulgar in the most authentic of ways and was eye-opening in so many others. I listened to the audiobook for this, but will be getting a hard copy to read again.
May 22, 2022
So beautiful and the audiobook was great, I love when authors narrate their own books, especially for memoirs. The kind of book that makes you want to slow down.
April 6, 2025
this book is my bible
April 5, 2022
It was so hard for me to get through this one. I honestly couldn’t focus for about half the time. I think the premise of this book is great, but I think
I just don’t know enough about Bangladeshi history and perfume-making for this book to have resonated with me. Also, I think the structure was not the best format for an audiobook. The subtitle of “notes for my people” is both a reference to notes of a scent in a perfume but also of notes about being Bangladeshi or Muslim or queer. And while I appreciate that this collection of notes includes some really important observations and criticisms of our treatment of people now and in the past, it was hard to follow the connecting threads, I’d those threads existed. However, I don’t think there is anything wrong with this book, which is why I opted to give it 3 stars. It’s just not a text I would likely revisit, and it is a very specific person to whom I would recommend it.
I just don’t know enough about Bangladeshi history and perfume-making for this book to have resonated with me. Also, I think the structure was not the best format for an audiobook. The subtitle of “notes for my people” is both a reference to notes of a scent in a perfume but also of notes about being Bangladeshi or Muslim or queer. And while I appreciate that this collection of notes includes some really important observations and criticisms of our treatment of people now and in the past, it was hard to follow the connecting threads, I’d those threads existed. However, I don’t think there is anything wrong with this book, which is why I opted to give it 3 stars. It’s just not a text I would likely revisit, and it is a very specific person to whom I would recommend it.
August 31, 2022
A beautiful tapestry of memories, identities, experiences of love and lust, friendships, and of course scents that hold all these threads together.
Of my own senses, smell isn’t one I feel strongly grounded in and so I wasn’t as drawn into the scents that linger through the narrative. However, even without that binding theme, this book has so much to offer. I particularly connected with the explorations of grief in the pandemic, of the intersectionality that runs through ‘desi’ identities which we fail to acknowledge, of lineage and feminine identity through material things like saris, hijabs and makeup, and of religious syncretism. I am also in complete awe of the author’s vast knowledge of language (etymologies of Sanskrit and Hindi and Tamil and Bangla words are peppered through the book), history (particularly of South Asia and its Partitions, and its legacies of caste), literature (once again ranging from Rokeya Hosain to Ambedkar to Barthes), and of course, perfume.
Overall, this is a memoir that navigates personal and communal memory with great skill and is thus able to thread into itself a beautiful homage to Bangladeshi people - it records the violence they have survived, the culture they have birthed and held onto through it all, their navigation of Bangla and Muslim identity, and their particular experiences of diaspora. As an Indian who has expressed much eagerness to use the umbrella term ‘desi’ and seen it as a sign of ‘unity’ without understanding the marked difference in our experiences of brownness, I have learnt a lot from this book that I hope to carry into how I live my own identity.
Of my own senses, smell isn’t one I feel strongly grounded in and so I wasn’t as drawn into the scents that linger through the narrative. However, even without that binding theme, this book has so much to offer. I particularly connected with the explorations of grief in the pandemic, of the intersectionality that runs through ‘desi’ identities which we fail to acknowledge, of lineage and feminine identity through material things like saris, hijabs and makeup, and of religious syncretism. I am also in complete awe of the author’s vast knowledge of language (etymologies of Sanskrit and Hindi and Tamil and Bangla words are peppered through the book), history (particularly of South Asia and its Partitions, and its legacies of caste), literature (once again ranging from Rokeya Hosain to Ambedkar to Barthes), and of course, perfume.
Overall, this is a memoir that navigates personal and communal memory with great skill and is thus able to thread into itself a beautiful homage to Bangladeshi people - it records the violence they have survived, the culture they have birthed and held onto through it all, their navigation of Bangla and Muslim identity, and their particular experiences of diaspora. As an Indian who has expressed much eagerness to use the umbrella term ‘desi’ and seen it as a sign of ‘unity’ without understanding the marked difference in our experiences of brownness, I have learnt a lot from this book that I hope to carry into how I live my own identity.
July 3, 2022
Incredible memoir!
The raw honesty (rage, despair, tenderness and sadness) and the full range of humanity (all of their brilliance and foibles) that Tanais reveals in this book about their life is entirely inspiring! I've always wanted to write a memoir and this will definitely be a reference when I do.
Highly recommend!
The raw honesty (rage, despair, tenderness and sadness) and the full range of humanity (all of their brilliance and foibles) that Tanais reveals in this book about their life is entirely inspiring! I've always wanted to write a memoir and this will definitely be a reference when I do.
Highly recommend!
September 20, 2023
I don't think it is productive for me to try and write a real review for this because it's too close to my own identity (queer Muslim nonmonog Bangali) and there are sooo many conversations to be had within community only. I definitely felt confused at times however, like, when someone who shares your identities introduces you to flavors of social shame you didn't even realize you were meant to feel?? It's true that the Bengali people are a proud people—whether in Bangladesh, or in India, or diaspora. Never really occurred to me associate the syncretic histories of South Asia with identifying as Indian... a name that invokes a nation-state and thereby it's borders, it's self-mythologies ('patramyths' as this memoir calls them, a great word, defined as "foundational lies and mythologies recorded in history to protect the powerful."). That got me thinking again on the nature of propaganda regarding South Asian identities, the 'masculine' Islam vs. the 'feminine' Hinduism... it's most modern iteration being the r*pist Muslim man vs. the goddess worshipping divine feminine rage of the Hindu woman to be defended. It's so easily flipped, though, into the 'effeminate' Muslim vs. the fully realized masculine power of the Hindu fash. Identities are traded like water and trying to categorize them falls into a trap that the English colonizer, the English language, sets brilliantly. What language can we escape history's pitfalls in when the language is a history?
...which kinda got me thinking about whether I'm masc-Islam-pilled and too out of tune with my own 'divine feminine' (oh Womanhood you sharp-toothed specter) to get into the full expansive nature of Self. Maybe. Maybe I fell into the trap too. Gender is a better trickster than words. Angela Saini's "my parents: the only ancestors I need to know" is admittedly a touchstone for me, for this reason.
Putting it plainly: this is definitely not a book about the construction of perfume, the way I thought it was gonna be (I am delusional btw). It's a memoir written by a meticulous researcher in consummate connection with those around her! Anyway, I'm gonna put some quotes from the book below so I can mull on them:
—Apocalypsexual, that's my word for longing for someone at the end of the world, love in exile, eleven miles—lifetimes—apart.
—I'm drawn to you, but I'm scared to flash a rage that is safe to show my husband, because he understands where it comes from. [...] Couples who love and fuck across race, class, caste, genders, and sexualities feel an inexplicable Oneness. Despite the differences, when we become entwined with a person who we've been told we should never love, we want them more than anyone we've wanted.
—I italicize non-English words because they look more beautiful that way. Since we can't honor the beauty of their own script and still be legible to most readers of English, I want to give words their own space.
—'In a simple act of learning to drape the sari,' writes Poulomi Saha, 'the muscle memory of a matrilineal world.'
—I know that not having lived through the war offers me an empathy for people considered betrayers. This empathy for the enemy — even though many of the women and children in the camps didn't inflict violence — is hard for survivors to feel. Even all these years later, they feel bitterness. The memory of venom.
—Mahadeviyakka poem Vacana 69: O mother I burned / in a flameless fire // O mother I suffered / a bloodless wound // mother I tossed / without a pleasure: // Loving my lord white as jasmine [Shiva] / I wandered through unlikely words.
—As language evolved through poetry and song, Bengali lost its gendered pronouns in an era known as Abahatta, or Meaningless Sounds, the period when Old Bengali crystallized into a distinct language. We kept our gender-neutral language — a vital remnant of our pre-Aryan ancestral tongue that survived the relentless Brahminical expansion into the eastern frontier of Bengal. Meaningless sounds, an arcane name that reveals the resentment of the literate Sanskrit-speaking upper caste about their holy language's bastardization by everyday people.
...which kinda got me thinking about whether I'm masc-Islam-pilled and too out of tune with my own 'divine feminine' (oh Womanhood you sharp-toothed specter) to get into the full expansive nature of Self. Maybe. Maybe I fell into the trap too. Gender is a better trickster than words. Angela Saini's "my parents: the only ancestors I need to know" is admittedly a touchstone for me, for this reason.
Putting it plainly: this is definitely not a book about the construction of perfume, the way I thought it was gonna be (I am delusional btw). It's a memoir written by a meticulous researcher in consummate connection with those around her! Anyway, I'm gonna put some quotes from the book below so I can mull on them:
—Apocalypsexual, that's my word for longing for someone at the end of the world, love in exile, eleven miles—lifetimes—apart.
—I'm drawn to you, but I'm scared to flash a rage that is safe to show my husband, because he understands where it comes from. [...] Couples who love and fuck across race, class, caste, genders, and sexualities feel an inexplicable Oneness. Despite the differences, when we become entwined with a person who we've been told we should never love, we want them more than anyone we've wanted.
—I italicize non-English words because they look more beautiful that way. Since we can't honor the beauty of their own script and still be legible to most readers of English, I want to give words their own space.
—'In a simple act of learning to drape the sari,' writes Poulomi Saha, 'the muscle memory of a matrilineal world.'
—I know that not having lived through the war offers me an empathy for people considered betrayers. This empathy for the enemy — even though many of the women and children in the camps didn't inflict violence — is hard for survivors to feel. Even all these years later, they feel bitterness. The memory of venom.
—Mahadeviyakka poem Vacana 69: O mother I burned / in a flameless fire // O mother I suffered / a bloodless wound // mother I tossed / without a pleasure: // Loving my lord white as jasmine [Shiva] / I wandered through unlikely words.
—As language evolved through poetry and song, Bengali lost its gendered pronouns in an era known as Abahatta, or Meaningless Sounds, the period when Old Bengali crystallized into a distinct language. We kept our gender-neutral language — a vital remnant of our pre-Aryan ancestral tongue that survived the relentless Brahminical expansion into the eastern frontier of Bengal. Meaningless sounds, an arcane name that reveals the resentment of the literate Sanskrit-speaking upper caste about their holy language's bastardization by everyday people.
August 4, 2024
Full Rating: 4.25 stars rounded up
“After a lifetime of absorbing the histories of this land - with endless gaps in knowledge - I know for me to imagine our collective future, to know true solidarity, I must reckon with my people’s past.”
In Sensorium: Notes for My People by Tanaïs is a lyrically evocative exploration of South Asian colonial violence, identity, and the legacy of caste. Tanaïs deftly intertwines personal narrative with historical and cultural analysis, creating a rich tapestry that is both deeply intimate and profoundly political.
At its core, In Sensorium is a sensory journey through Tanaïs’s Bangladeshi heritage, using perfume as a central metaphor for self-discovery and resistance. The book delves into how scent serves as both a signal and armor for the self, revealing how colonialism has corrupted cultural connections to fragrance. Tanaïs’s prose is introspective and reflective, seamlessly blending personal and political histories to illuminate the impact of colonialism on South Asia.
One of the most compelling aspects of In Sensorium is how Tanaïs uses scent to trace the history of colonialism, describing perfumes as "little museums of the colonies." This poetic use of fragrance not only evokes powerful imagery but also underscores the deep connection between culture and scent. Tanaïs’s writing is rich with sensory details and symbolic language, drawing connections between personal experiences and broader historical contexts. The rhythmic quality of their sentences creates a sense of flow that engages the reader both emotionally and intellectually.
In Sensorium is also a profound meditation on identity and survival. Tanaïs challenges dominant narratives and power structures, advocating for the reclamation of knowledge and the liberation of marginalized communities. They write against South Asian epistemicide, seeking to unearth the femme knowledge lost to colonial violence. As they poignantly state, "Survivor stories inhabit the silences in history… Their stories are considered the degraded material in the nation’s archive, recorded in pencil. But in these memories, we uncover the evidence of grave violence unleashed on women, trans and queer people, as men fashioned the patramyth of Nation to protect themselves."
Throughout the book, Tanaïs emphasizes the duality of beauty and pain, suggesting that beauty can serve as a form of resistance and healing: "I understood why mass death made us yearn for beauty: after a genocide, beauty revives a possibility for survival." This theme resonates deeply, highlighting how the emergence of beauty is an act of survival, necessary for healing and honoring the pain wrought by generations of colonialism.
In Sensorium: Notes for My People is a beautifully crafted and thought-provoking work that offers a unique perspective on the intersections of race, gender, and culture. Tanaïs’s poetic and evocative prose, combined with their insightful exploration of scent and identity, makes this book a must-read for those interested in South Asian history, colonialism, and the ongoing struggle for liberation. By unearthing the memories and voices of femmes lost to South Asian colonial violence, Tanaïs creates a powerful narrative that is both a call to action and a testament to the resilience of marginalized communities.
📖 Recommended For: Readers who enjoy richly poetic prose, those interested in the impact of colonialism on cultural identity, anyone who values deeply personal and political narratives, fans of works that explore the intersections of race, gender, and heritage.
🔑 Key Themes: South Asian Colonial Violence, Cultural Heritage and Identity, Perfume as Metaphor, Femme Knowledge and Resistance, The Legacy of Caste, Reclamation and Liberation.
Content / Trigger Warnings: Domestic abuse (severe), War (moderate), Genocide (moderate), Pandemic (moderate), Infidelity (minor), Grief (moderate), Drug Use (minor), Sexual content (moderate), Violence (moderate), Racism (severe), Sexism (severe), Mental illness (minor), Sexual assault (moderate), Bullying (minor), Slavery (minor).
“After a lifetime of absorbing the histories of this land - with endless gaps in knowledge - I know for me to imagine our collective future, to know true solidarity, I must reckon with my people’s past.”
In Sensorium: Notes for My People by Tanaïs is a lyrically evocative exploration of South Asian colonial violence, identity, and the legacy of caste. Tanaïs deftly intertwines personal narrative with historical and cultural analysis, creating a rich tapestry that is both deeply intimate and profoundly political.
At its core, In Sensorium is a sensory journey through Tanaïs’s Bangladeshi heritage, using perfume as a central metaphor for self-discovery and resistance. The book delves into how scent serves as both a signal and armor for the self, revealing how colonialism has corrupted cultural connections to fragrance. Tanaïs’s prose is introspective and reflective, seamlessly blending personal and political histories to illuminate the impact of colonialism on South Asia.
One of the most compelling aspects of In Sensorium is how Tanaïs uses scent to trace the history of colonialism, describing perfumes as "little museums of the colonies." This poetic use of fragrance not only evokes powerful imagery but also underscores the deep connection between culture and scent. Tanaïs’s writing is rich with sensory details and symbolic language, drawing connections between personal experiences and broader historical contexts. The rhythmic quality of their sentences creates a sense of flow that engages the reader both emotionally and intellectually.
In Sensorium is also a profound meditation on identity and survival. Tanaïs challenges dominant narratives and power structures, advocating for the reclamation of knowledge and the liberation of marginalized communities. They write against South Asian epistemicide, seeking to unearth the femme knowledge lost to colonial violence. As they poignantly state, "Survivor stories inhabit the silences in history… Their stories are considered the degraded material in the nation’s archive, recorded in pencil. But in these memories, we uncover the evidence of grave violence unleashed on women, trans and queer people, as men fashioned the patramyth of Nation to protect themselves."
Throughout the book, Tanaïs emphasizes the duality of beauty and pain, suggesting that beauty can serve as a form of resistance and healing: "I understood why mass death made us yearn for beauty: after a genocide, beauty revives a possibility for survival." This theme resonates deeply, highlighting how the emergence of beauty is an act of survival, necessary for healing and honoring the pain wrought by generations of colonialism.
In Sensorium: Notes for My People is a beautifully crafted and thought-provoking work that offers a unique perspective on the intersections of race, gender, and culture. Tanaïs’s poetic and evocative prose, combined with their insightful exploration of scent and identity, makes this book a must-read for those interested in South Asian history, colonialism, and the ongoing struggle for liberation. By unearthing the memories and voices of femmes lost to South Asian colonial violence, Tanaïs creates a powerful narrative that is both a call to action and a testament to the resilience of marginalized communities.
📖 Recommended For: Readers who enjoy richly poetic prose, those interested in the impact of colonialism on cultural identity, anyone who values deeply personal and political narratives, fans of works that explore the intersections of race, gender, and heritage.
🔑 Key Themes: South Asian Colonial Violence, Cultural Heritage and Identity, Perfume as Metaphor, Femme Knowledge and Resistance, The Legacy of Caste, Reclamation and Liberation.
Content / Trigger Warnings: Domestic abuse (severe), War (moderate), Genocide (moderate), Pandemic (moderate), Infidelity (minor), Grief (moderate), Drug Use (minor), Sexual content (moderate), Violence (moderate), Racism (severe), Sexism (severe), Mental illness (minor), Sexual assault (moderate), Bullying (minor), Slavery (minor).
June 29, 2023
I read parts of this book and had to put it down because of the immaturity of the content and manipulative supposition. As an Indian, it was extremely offensive. Here are specific reasons why I say so:
1) In this book, Tanais is comparing their identity to Dalit women. Even rudimentary research will help Tanais get some historical context and understand that their identity and positionality is far from Dalits. Muslims such as Tanais were the oppressor and colonizers on Hindu Land. Comparing the oppression Tanais has faced from upper-caste hindus with the oppression Dalits have faced over more than 2000 years is a disrespect and dismissal of Dalit oppression. It is an erasure of their reality.
Tanais needs to read up some history to understand that Muslims were the oppressor. They are part of the colonizer class. They are not a dalit! And in their book they are not mentioning this piece (at least the pages that I read) nor are they making ANY MENTION of the topic of REPARATIONS that the Muslims need to offer the Hindus for the unimaginable destruction and genocide they have committed towards Hindus.
And we need to talk about nuance here. By saying this, I am not denying the mistreatment of muslims in India under the current Modi government. (This is part of the unresolved Hindu trauma). it is a matter of serious concern. But this conversation is much more nuanced than the crude message delivered in Tanais's memoir regarding Indians.
A colonizer class (Muslims) comparing itself to Dalits is downright immature and manipulative.
2) Tanais mentions their experience of a Hindu getting unsettled or angry at a Kali temple when he watches Tanais putting the prasad (the holy sacrament) on the bench and not showing respect towards it. (Tanais also mentions that they didn't quite care about the prasad!) Tanais assumes that if this man finds out that Tanais is a Muslim he will be infuriated with them.
Hinduism believes in religious pluralism and though there are some Hindus (bad apples) who do not practice this as they should and cause harm.
However, the piece that eludes Tanais is that their Muslim ancestors massacred and destroyed innumerable Tantric and Kali temples - chopping off limbs and heads of sacred statues of Hindu Deities. There are irrefutable records of this destruction. Thousands of Tantrics, Yoginis and Yogi were killed and burnt by the Muslims. Entire libraries of scriptures were destroyed. Hindus were not allowed to practice their religious teachings under the Muslim empire (including the Yoga and Buddhist meditation that Tanais likes to practice in their brooklyn home)! They raped our women. There are so many records of this. The Muslim colonizers and aggressors robbed and literally broke the back of our country. And even today, Muslims such as Tanais have no understanding, or self-reflection or a desire for reparations towards Hindus. They are not bringing up that conversation at all in the pages I read. Instead pitching themself as the oppressed class!
It sounds like Tanais is comparing themself to the black people in colonized United States. But Black folks never oppressed or enslaved white people. But Muslims did do that to Hindus.
3) While Tanais goes around shitting all over Indian religious teachings in their book, they also generously "use" Hindu, Tantric and Buddhist practices in their own daily life (yoga, meditation, malas, etc.) for their self-care without any concern of their "Cultural Appropriation."
So I am not sure how can a book like this be read! One star.
1) In this book, Tanais is comparing their identity to Dalit women. Even rudimentary research will help Tanais get some historical context and understand that their identity and positionality is far from Dalits. Muslims such as Tanais were the oppressor and colonizers on Hindu Land. Comparing the oppression Tanais has faced from upper-caste hindus with the oppression Dalits have faced over more than 2000 years is a disrespect and dismissal of Dalit oppression. It is an erasure of their reality.
Tanais needs to read up some history to understand that Muslims were the oppressor. They are part of the colonizer class. They are not a dalit! And in their book they are not mentioning this piece (at least the pages that I read) nor are they making ANY MENTION of the topic of REPARATIONS that the Muslims need to offer the Hindus for the unimaginable destruction and genocide they have committed towards Hindus.
And we need to talk about nuance here. By saying this, I am not denying the mistreatment of muslims in India under the current Modi government. (This is part of the unresolved Hindu trauma). it is a matter of serious concern. But this conversation is much more nuanced than the crude message delivered in Tanais's memoir regarding Indians.
A colonizer class (Muslims) comparing itself to Dalits is downright immature and manipulative.
2) Tanais mentions their experience of a Hindu getting unsettled or angry at a Kali temple when he watches Tanais putting the prasad (the holy sacrament) on the bench and not showing respect towards it. (Tanais also mentions that they didn't quite care about the prasad!) Tanais assumes that if this man finds out that Tanais is a Muslim he will be infuriated with them.
Hinduism believes in religious pluralism and though there are some Hindus (bad apples) who do not practice this as they should and cause harm.
However, the piece that eludes Tanais is that their Muslim ancestors massacred and destroyed innumerable Tantric and Kali temples - chopping off limbs and heads of sacred statues of Hindu Deities. There are irrefutable records of this destruction. Thousands of Tantrics, Yoginis and Yogi were killed and burnt by the Muslims. Entire libraries of scriptures were destroyed. Hindus were not allowed to practice their religious teachings under the Muslim empire (including the Yoga and Buddhist meditation that Tanais likes to practice in their brooklyn home)! They raped our women. There are so many records of this. The Muslim colonizers and aggressors robbed and literally broke the back of our country. And even today, Muslims such as Tanais have no understanding, or self-reflection or a desire for reparations towards Hindus. They are not bringing up that conversation at all in the pages I read. Instead pitching themself as the oppressed class!
It sounds like Tanais is comparing themself to the black people in colonized United States. But Black folks never oppressed or enslaved white people. But Muslims did do that to Hindus.
3) While Tanais goes around shitting all over Indian religious teachings in their book, they also generously "use" Hindu, Tantric and Buddhist practices in their own daily life (yoga, meditation, malas, etc.) for their self-care without any concern of their "Cultural Appropriation."
So I am not sure how can a book like this be read! One star.
October 28, 2022
Didn't finish--stopped at pg 224.
The tone/style of this book are rather special, at the beginning I frequently wanted to stop and give up reading, but the language of the book almost has some unique magic and always pulled me back.
The content that I was actually looking for--her connection with fragrances, the histories of the spices, and her upbringing--doesn't start until page 98, and when I finally reached it, I felt like I could breathe normally again and was thankful I didn't quit earlier. I think all the paged before it, or at least for 12 pages of so before it, were all about the prejudice and unfair treatments the author and her likes received, the lower caste people or people with darker skins. While that is definitely a part of her past and a topic that will always be on her mind, I genuinely thought her analysis and explanations and reflections were a little too dense, a little too academic. But if you are familiar with the Indian culture or Bangladeshi culture, you will be fine. I think what the author is trying to do is to establish and educate the readers on those subjects and to let us see the past through her lens.
The first section also centered around the poor women that helped shape fine arts but were forgotten in history, I found her voice very interesting and enlightening. But, again, I felt like the same theme is a little redundant because she spends too many pages on the topic. I wish she could spread the discussions throughout different sections, rather than everything within the 20+ pages.
Also, her word choice is advanced. I learned quite some new words from reading this book!
The tone/style of this book are rather special, at the beginning I frequently wanted to stop and give up reading, but the language of the book almost has some unique magic and always pulled me back.
The content that I was actually looking for--her connection with fragrances, the histories of the spices, and her upbringing--doesn't start until page 98, and when I finally reached it, I felt like I could breathe normally again and was thankful I didn't quit earlier. I think all the paged before it, or at least for 12 pages of so before it, were all about the prejudice and unfair treatments the author and her likes received, the lower caste people or people with darker skins. While that is definitely a part of her past and a topic that will always be on her mind, I genuinely thought her analysis and explanations and reflections were a little too dense, a little too academic. But if you are familiar with the Indian culture or Bangladeshi culture, you will be fine. I think what the author is trying to do is to establish and educate the readers on those subjects and to let us see the past through her lens.
The first section also centered around the poor women that helped shape fine arts but were forgotten in history, I found her voice very interesting and enlightening. But, again, I felt like the same theme is a little redundant because she spends too many pages on the topic. I wish she could spread the discussions throughout different sections, rather than everything within the 20+ pages.
Also, her word choice is advanced. I learned quite some new words from reading this book!
April 15, 2022
In Sensorium is a memoir that weaves in themes of South Asian perfume history, the history of Bangladesh, and personal reflections. This memoir is told through a Bangladeshi Muslim femme perspective. Tanaïs has such beautiful and lyrical writing that discusses extremely heavy subjects ranging from survivor’s trauma, rape culture, psychedelics to ancient history of violence to name a few. A couple of the aspects that I really loved about this book was learning more about history of perfume along with learning more about history of Bangladesh. I wasn’t really drawn to the personal reflections in the novel from the author, but I understood why they put that in there and the connection/relation to scent and history which made sense. I had a difficult time reading and rating the book as there were some very polarizing views that I didn’t necessarily agree with, but as difficult as it was, I had an open mind learning more about. This isn’t a book I would recommend to everyone as there are some very heavy subjects addressed, but it’s definitely a book that needs to be amplified and we need more books like these out in the world so we can better understand perspectives outside ours.
Thank you Harper Books for the free book.
Thank you Harper Books for the free book.
August 16, 2024
I listened to this book as a recommendation from my library for South Asian Heritage month.
I recommend this book.
I listened through the library app, I wish I had the physical book. It was a bit hard to follow, there were many quotes and notes on a perfume that I sometimes lost the context of or had to go back and relisten now that I knew it was a quote. This is the way audio books are and my brain doesn't work that way. I did love hearing the author read their own work. The emphasis and inflection is that of the person telling the story. It's powerful, like being with them, but I couldn't ask questions. I did a lot of googling.
Knowing myself as a reader, I wouldn't finish the physical book. But I do wish I had it to look at while listening to make note or confirm quote or not a quote. It would also help to know when the end of a section / topic was over so I could reflect on it before moving on. The "end of chapter" sleep setting did not work, I'm guessing it was the way the audio was formatted.
I also wish I had every scent mentioned so I could smell along as I was read to. Do they make scratch and sniff memoirs ? They should.
I would also love to have Tanais create a scent for my life, memory of place and time.
I recommend this book.
I listened through the library app, I wish I had the physical book. It was a bit hard to follow, there were many quotes and notes on a perfume that I sometimes lost the context of or had to go back and relisten now that I knew it was a quote. This is the way audio books are and my brain doesn't work that way. I did love hearing the author read their own work. The emphasis and inflection is that of the person telling the story. It's powerful, like being with them, but I couldn't ask questions. I did a lot of googling.
Knowing myself as a reader, I wouldn't finish the physical book. But I do wish I had it to look at while listening to make note or confirm quote or not a quote. It would also help to know when the end of a section / topic was over so I could reflect on it before moving on. The "end of chapter" sleep setting did not work, I'm guessing it was the way the audio was formatted.
I also wish I had every scent mentioned so I could smell along as I was read to. Do they make scratch and sniff memoirs ? They should.
I would also love to have Tanais create a scent for my life, memory of place and time.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews