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If I Disappear

3.60  ·  Rating details ·  156 ratings  ·  111 reviews
When her favorite true crime podcast host goes missing, an adrift young woman plunges headfirst into the wild backcountry of Northern California and her own dangerous obsession.

Sera loves true crime podcasts. They make her feel empowered in a world where women just like her disappear daily. She's sure they are preparing her for something. So when Rachel, her favorite podca
Kindle Edition
Expected publication: January 26th 2021
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Average rating 3.60  · 
Rating details
 ·  156 ratings  ·  111 reviews

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Michael David
Nov 10, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: published-review
*Review originally published on on 11/7/20.

Lately, there has been a trend of incorporating a podcast into the telling of a mystery or thriller. I have seen this gimmick used successfully, and I have seen it fail. Luckily, it’s a highly effective plot device in IF I DISAPPEAR.

Sera Fleece doesn’t have much going for her. Recently divorced and without a job, she spends all of her time listening to her favorite podcast, “Murder, She Sp
Aug 12, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: arcs-read

With a story as strangely compelling as its cover, If I Disappear, is perfect for Readers who prefer a more unconventional narrative.

After her divorce, Sera Fleece is a boat adrift. She spends her days listening to, and obsessing over, her favorite True Crime podcast, Murder, She Spoke.

When the podcast's host, Rachel Bard, suddenly stops posting, Sera doesn't take it well.

In fact, she suspects foul play is behind Rachel's sudden disappearance from the air waves.

Further, Sera believ
Jan 05, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If I Disappear is that rare thriller that's actually thrilling--in that it's actually a beautifully written and truly terrifying story. I got actual goosebumps at the ending. Goosebumps!

Ripe with atmosphere and with a main character whose mental state you can never be sure of--not to mention every other character--If I Disappear offers up a murder mystery (and the latest in thrillers, a podcast, although this one is very unsettling and makes the already high creepiness factor even higher) that
Samantha Downing
If I Disappeared is a unique novel about a woman who has given up—on her life, and on herself. The only thing that keeps her going is searching for the missing host of her favorite true crime podcast. The writing is lean, the story is fascinating, and you won’t guess where this one is going. A slick, smart thriller you don’t want to miss.
Jordy’s Book Club
QUICK TAKE: when a true crime podcaster goes missing, her biggest fan decides to make herself part of the story by trying to track her down and finds herself working for the podcaster's family on their isolated and mysterious dude ranch. As Sera gets to know the family and other members of the community, she finds herself part of a dark and dangerous mystery. This one was a bizarre blast...part I'LL BE GONE IN THE DARK, part SHARP OBJECTS, the author does a brilliant job leaning into the macabre ...more
This is a Suspense Mystery/Thriller. I have to say it took me awhile to get into this book. I have to say the middle was really good, and it keep me guessing/wanting more. The ending was a let down, and I have to say the ending was hard to follow. The characters was more to love, and I do not think the characters where really developed. I think the characters not being developed was done on purpose. I really think the ending needed to be better, and the middle was really good. I also think this ...more
Chelsey (a_novel_idea11)
Rachel runs a podcast about missing women called Murder, She Spoke. When she suddenly goes silent - no social media activity, no new podcasts - her biggest fan, Sera, starts to suspect she's gone missing.

Sera decides to take matters into her own hands and find out what happened to Rachel. Afterall, it's what Rachel has been training her for with all of the information and tips provided through the podcasts. Sera heads to Rachel's family ranch in the wilderness of Northern California and pretends
Erika Lynn (shelf.inspiration)
3 Stars

“We look because we have to. Because no one else will.” - If I Disappear.

See more on my Bookstagram: Shelf.Inspiration Instagram

REVIEW: Thank you to NetGalley, Berkley Publishing Group, and Eliza Brazier for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. This book follows Sera, who is a lover of true crime podcasts. Her favorite are the podcasts that follow the disappearances of women and she feels like they are preparing her for something. So when her favorit
Kyra Leseberg (Roots & Reads)
Dec 24, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: arc
Sera Fleece is unemployed, recently divorced, and finding it tough to get out of bed. She spends most of her time listening to true crime podcasts and has found herself invested in one in particular: Murder, She Spoke. The podcast covers the unsolved disappearances of women and is hosted by Rachel Bard from her family’s guest ranch in Northern California. Sera has listened to each of the 84 episodes multiple times and likes to scroll through Rachel’s social media for insight into her everyday li ...more
Dec 08, 2020 rated it liked it
Review to come nearer to publication
Eliza Brazier
Aug 02, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
Five stars. This is a super fun book.

I’m currently working on putting together a TV show, which is even MORE fun.

Thank you for visiting this page. Thank you for leaving a review/rating/piece of evidence.

No joke, review is an artform. Some of my favorite writers are critics (Harold Bloom, Roger Ebert).

My only wish, Goodreaders, is that if you bless me with a review—whether you LOVE the book or HATE it—have fun with it.

And THANK YOU for reading

Octavia (ReadsWithDogs)
First of all the cover for this book is gorgeous!

The insides took a little getting used to because it's told as a letter from the protagonist to her favorite true-crime podcast host. Once I warmed up to the way the story was being told I was hooked! Sera is recently divorced and obsessed with a certain true-crime podcast. Like many of us who love true crime, she enjoys the sense of control and preparedness she feels after a good episode and she thinks of the podcast host as her friend sharing he
Jessica Woodbury
2.5 stars. This is a dreamy crime novel that never quite makes up its mind about what it is.

We often find ourselves floating above the action, at a kind of remove. Most of the characters and setting feel vague and foggy. Then there will be scenes given with up close detail and it is almost like you're back in the real world, but it never lasts, and soon we're floating away again. For this book to work, you have to be okay with how nothing in it really makes any sense at all and treat it almost
Kimberly Belle
Dec 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If I Disappeared begins on a compelling premise: a true-crime podcaster goes missing, but not before planting a subtle call for help in her final episode. Sera Fleece’s subsequent search leads her deep into the remote wilderness of Northern California, where she must contend with an unwelcoming cast of creepy characters. Suspicions swirl in this propulsive debut, a clever, sinister read with a surprising sting in the tail.
Jan 03, 2021 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Fans of true crime podcasts will be intrigued by Eliza Jane Brazier’s If I Disappear. Sera Fleece’s life is a mess. She is lonely, can’t keep a job and her marriage fell apart. What keeps her going is a true crime podcast, “Murder, She Spoke,” presented by Rachel Bard. Sera has committed each episode of the series, about the disappearance of young women, to memory. When the podcast abruptly stops airing, Sera is convinced that Rachel has disappeared and is in danger. Sera is compelled to find ou ...more
Aug 13, 2020 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Eliza Jane Brazier Fans, Mystery
3.5 Following Clues Stars
* * * 1/2 Spoiler Free-A Quick Review
We live so much through things we see, read, and hear on the internet. One of the things that have taken off is podcasts. You can find a podcast for any interest. All sorts of people have made careers through them and True Crime has become a huge draw.

If I Disappear by Eliza Jane Brazier has taken this concept and has run with it.
Imagine a woman who has developed a following of listeners, loyal, and involved. As the host, she is eng
Heather Fineisen
A depressed young woman who is recently divorced becomes obsessed with a podcast about missing women. When the podcaster goes missing, the main character goes on a search using clues and lessons from the podcasts. A clever premise but tries for a twist that ends with a fizzle. A couple of things just didn't fit. Creative but missed the mark.

Copy provided by the publisher and NetGalley
Ludwig Reads
Aug 15, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
3.5 stars rounded up.

I have mixed thoughts on this one. If I Disappear is a beautifully-written mystery with a fascinating premise: a woman embarks on a journey to look for a missing true-crime podcaster whom she admires; though it was more the style of writing - and the way it was delivered - that kept me from being totally engaged.

Make no mistake, this was very well-written, and I liked the creepy characters that live in the isolated ranch where our protagonist is looking for the missing woma
Keisha Frantom
Oct 30, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Sera is having a hard time in life, divorced, recently broken up with a boyfriend, no job and disconnecting with her friends. She becomes obsessed with true crime, especially her favorite podcast hosted by Rachel. Sera feels like she knows Rachel, that they could be friends if they ever met. When Rachel disappears, Sera begins searching for her. Sera finds herself working for Sera's parents at a ranch in a remote area where Rachel lived. Sera's parents seem to want to isolate Sera from the local ...more
Jan 04, 2021 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Sera Fleece is a woman obsessed.
She is consumed by a podcast from Rachel Bard, called Murder, She Spoke.
And when Rachel's podcast abruptly stops posting and Rachel disappears, Sera does what every other irrational (yes, you read that right) person would do, she goes in search of answers.
From the moment Sera arrives at Rachel's home, the Fountain Creek Guest Ranch, nothing seems normal. Everyone acts suspicious. Accommodations are wretched (with rats, oh joy). And basic necessities like food and
PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps
***Thanks to NetGalley for providing me a complimentary copy of IF I DISAPPEAR by Eliza Jane Brazier in exchange for my honest review.***


When Sera’s favorite true crime podcaster Rachel stops posting, she assumes the woman has met with foul play. Determined to solve the mystery, Sera uses clues from the podcast in hopes of finding her hero.

Debut writer Eliza Jane Brazier uses synopses from podcast episodes to begin chapters, which introduces potential subplots of other missing women amo
Laurie Flynn
Dec 02, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I was completely spellbound by this haunting, piercing story. The writing is gorgeous and the book itself is twisty and unpredictable, with such a tense setup and creeping sensation of unease. There were so many lines and passages I wanted to highlight because they were so beautifully written. And what made it even more unique was the layer of social commentary and insight into women's experiences: what it means to be a woman in this world, sometimes too seen and sometimes too invisible. Eliza J ...more
Lyn Liao
Nov 24, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What a deliciously creepy thriller. The format it's written in lends to that creepy "I see you" feeling and the writing is so vivid that I felt like I was right there with Sera. I could see the ranch, Happy Camp, all her surroundings. I had to stop and check that my doors were locked a few times because I got the heebie jeebies while reading :) It kept me moving along, trying to guess what happens and who is actually the murderer and who are the good guys. Thank you for scaring the pants off me ...more
Aug 06, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
IF I DISAPPEAR is a spellbinding tale of obsession and isolation, and the darkness that can unspool when the two intertwine. Thick with atmosphere and dripping with tension, this is a book you’ll want to devour in one sitting — if you dare.
Steven Zacharius
Berkley was kind enough to send me an advance copy of this book to read. It's the third book I've read recently that was based around a thriller podcast; clearly a trend since podcasting is so big. I like books about people trying to disappear and the premise of this book is that people are coming to this secretive ranch and somehow they end up vanishing. The main character gets a bit annoying at times, and seems to needy; but the story picks up towards the end and does have an interesting endin ...more
Elizabeth Everett
Very rarely can I devour a book in one sitting these days – mostly because I end up falling asleep after half-an-hour of sitting still. If I Disappear, by Eliza Jane Brazier, is the exception to that rule. Marvelously atmospheric, it’s a fascinating character examination of the main character, Sera, who turns her attention to the mystery of a missing podcaster rather than confront her own demons. Particularly compelling was some of the more nuanced underlying feminist commentary. All this is wra ...more
Eliza Jane Brazier has created a tale of darkness, heavy with ominous atmosphere and brittle emotions. IF I DISAPPEAR is the story of a woman determined to discover what happened to her favorite true crime podcast host. Are there secret hints to her whereabouts within her podcasts? Will the hidden truths be far more dangerous than Sera could have imagined.

Dark, dry and with a heavy feeling of storm clouds above, this tale is not an easy or fast read. For lovers of true crime thrillers, this can
Karen Barber
Nov 19, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: netgalley
Sometimes people are running away from things, and they’re not always honest about their reasons.
In this true-crime/mystery we follow our main character Sera as she decides to leave her life and go to solve a mystery she has become obsessed with...that of Rachel, a true-crime podcaster who has disappeared.
Sera finds herself in a remote ranch working under Rachel’s parents. Nobody wants to talk about Rachel and nobody seems willing to offer any clues as to what might have happened.
With her imagin
Thank you BerkleyPub, Netgalley and Eliza Jane Brazier for giving me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Sera loves true crime podcasts. They give her a sense of control in a world where women just like her disappear daily. She's sure they are preparing her for something. So when Rachel, her favorite podcast host, goes missing, Sera knows it's time to act. Rachel has always taught her to trust her instincts.
Sera follows the clues hidden in the episodes to an isolated ranch outside Rachel'
Priya Shrinath
If I Disappear is a psychological thriller from the debut author which follows the story of Sera whose life is drowning. Without a job and a husband and no rent to pay, her obsession towards a random true crime podcast drags her to a remote ranch in search of Rachel (the Podcaster!) who had disappeared and no one in the small town seems to care.

What we have here is an unreliable narrator who talks to her muse Rachel who may or may not be actually present. The location is a remote, almost abandon
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I am an author, screenwriter, and journalist. This is my adult debut. I currently live in Hollywood, where I am developing If I Disappear for television.

Ask me anything. I’m really good at relationship advice. (LEAVE HIM)

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