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When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair: 50 Ways to Feel Thin, Gorgeous, and Happy {When You Feel Anything But}
Geneen Roth's pioneering books were among the first to link overeating and compulsive dieting with deeply personal issues that go far beyond weight and body image. Now, in this fun, practical book, she helps readers radically shift their relationships with food and find more life-affirming ways to care for themselves. With an exhilarating combination of intelligence and wicked good humor, she offers bite-sized pieces of invaluable wisdom.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1998
87 people are currently reading
1113 people want to read
About the author
Geneen Roth
61 books632 followersGeneen Roth's pioneering books were among the first to link compulsive eating and perpetual dieting with deeply personal and spiritual issues that go far beyond food, weight and body image. She believes that we eat the way we live, and that our relationship to food, money, love is an exact reflection of our deepest held beliefs about ourselves and the amount of joy, abundance, pain, scarcity, we believe we have (or are allowed) to have in our lives.
Rather than pushing away the "crazy" things we do, Geneen's work proceeds with the conviction that our actions and beliefs make exquisite sense, and that the way to transform our relationship with food is to be open, curious and kind with ourselves-instead of punishing, impatient and harsh. In the past thirty years, she has worked with hundreds of thousands of people using meditation, inquiry, and a set of seven eating guidelines that are the foundation of natural eating.
Geneen has appeared on many national television shows including: The Oprah Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Articles about Geneen and her work have appeared in numerous publications including: O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has written monthly columns in Good Housekeeping Magazine and Prevention Magazine. Geneen is the author of eight books, including The New York Times bestsellers When Food is Love and Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Her newest book, to be published in March 2011, is Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations about Food and Money.
Rather than pushing away the "crazy" things we do, Geneen's work proceeds with the conviction that our actions and beliefs make exquisite sense, and that the way to transform our relationship with food is to be open, curious and kind with ourselves-instead of punishing, impatient and harsh. In the past thirty years, she has worked with hundreds of thousands of people using meditation, inquiry, and a set of seven eating guidelines that are the foundation of natural eating.
Geneen has appeared on many national television shows including: The Oprah Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Articles about Geneen and her work have appeared in numerous publications including: O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has written monthly columns in Good Housekeeping Magazine and Prevention Magazine. Geneen is the author of eight books, including The New York Times bestsellers When Food is Love and Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Her newest book, to be published in March 2011, is Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations about Food and Money.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
September 3, 2014
DISCLAIMER: I don't diet or have an eating disorder. For me, this was a an inspirational book that helped me battle some negative self-talk I have developed and start valuing my body. I review it often. I LOVE IT! And, she is hilarious! I would give it 10 stars if I could. I love Geneen's message: to be kind to your body,listen to your body and be present in your life.
Great quotes:
"Being thin is a body size. We give magical power to thinness, and then believe we need the thinness to get the power back." p.29
"Children will not be naturally unkind to themselves. It takes time to learn to deprive yourself." p.189
"Self-kindness is: stopping doing what is harmful to you; defending yourself against anyone who attacks you, including yourself; telling the truth; asking for help; resting when you need rest; believing that there is a good reason for what you are doing, even if you aren't aware of it at the moment." p. 64
"What would you do and think about if the main problem in your life was suddenly gone?" p.201
Great quotes:
"Being thin is a body size. We give magical power to thinness, and then believe we need the thinness to get the power back." p.29
"Children will not be naturally unkind to themselves. It takes time to learn to deprive yourself." p.189
"Self-kindness is: stopping doing what is harmful to you; defending yourself against anyone who attacks you, including yourself; telling the truth; asking for help; resting when you need rest; believing that there is a good reason for what you are doing, even if you aren't aware of it at the moment." p. 64
"What would you do and think about if the main problem in your life was suddenly gone?" p.201
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August 8, 2011I love this book. It's not just about weight loss--in fact, Roth advises you to throw out your scale--it's really about coming to a complete stop and being present for yourself in a compassionate way, and living consciously. Very Buddhist, without being dogmatic.
What's so revolutionary here is that we're being told slip-ups are inevitable and that we can learn from them, that it's all part of the continuum of pursuing a healthier life and attitude. The all-or-nothing model is thrown out the window.
Here are a few things I found particularly helpful:
When you're bingeing, what does it feel like? What are the physical sensations? What are you thinking about? How do you feel afterwards? There are always feelings that are being managed with bingeing--is gorging youself working?
There's always an antecedent to a binge--examine it. What happened and what are you feeling? Name it and feel it, and stay with the feelings.
If you have a food craving (Roth's is chocolate), indulge it to your heart's content, BUT (here's the catch): only eat when you're hungry. Again, this means listening to your body. If you don't know how to answer the hunger question, she says, that means you're not hungry. When you are hungry, eat what you crave, and when you're full, stop eating.
That takes a lot of fine-tuning for hardcore bingers like me--but the payoff is so much more than weight loss.
This is not a diet book (it's a non-diet book)--it's a way of living authentically.
What's so revolutionary here is that we're being told slip-ups are inevitable and that we can learn from them, that it's all part of the continuum of pursuing a healthier life and attitude. The all-or-nothing model is thrown out the window.
Here are a few things I found particularly helpful:
When you're bingeing, what does it feel like? What are the physical sensations? What are you thinking about? How do you feel afterwards? There are always feelings that are being managed with bingeing--is gorging youself working?
There's always an antecedent to a binge--examine it. What happened and what are you feeling? Name it and feel it, and stay with the feelings.
If you have a food craving (Roth's is chocolate), indulge it to your heart's content, BUT (here's the catch): only eat when you're hungry. Again, this means listening to your body. If you don't know how to answer the hunger question, she says, that means you're not hungry. When you are hungry, eat what you crave, and when you're full, stop eating.
That takes a lot of fine-tuning for hardcore bingers like me--but the payoff is so much more than weight loss.
This is not a diet book (it's a non-diet book)--it's a way of living authentically.
December 3, 2007
By page 14, I already know that this book was going to change my life. Geneen has an against-the-grain look at dieting, weight loss and cultural expectations of women, and has already made me question the way I treat my appetites and my body. I am looking forward to reading this book again and again.
August 21, 2017
Brilliant. I found this book, almost twenty years old, at my local Salvation Army thrift shop. I thought, Probably trite, but meh, fifty cents? I'll give it a try. See what psychology I can explore.
It's a shocker. Not because the author, Geneen Roth, says anything new, but because of the way she says it.
Broken down into fifty simple little vignettes of thoughts, full of self-analysis and suggestions for action, and so much love. I read a section or three every night before bed or every morning when I awoke. It was a ten minute mental enhancement to my ten minute yoga practice, centering my mind and soul, readying self for daily present moment awareness and reminding self to operate from a base of unconditional love, despite those difficult moments.
Insightful, fun. Approachable. And damn realistic. Lovely. Highly recommend for everyone whose inner critic is loud, filled with "fat-and-ugly attacks," be they on the body or the soul.
If you have read anything by the Ruiz family (i. e., The Four Agreements, The Five Levels of Attachment, Mastery of Self), you will appreciate Geneen Roth's philosophy and style of writing: short, simple, relateable, profound.
I will be keeping this by my bedside.
It's a shocker. Not because the author, Geneen Roth, says anything new, but because of the way she says it.
Broken down into fifty simple little vignettes of thoughts, full of self-analysis and suggestions for action, and so much love. I read a section or three every night before bed or every morning when I awoke. It was a ten minute mental enhancement to my ten minute yoga practice, centering my mind and soul, readying self for daily present moment awareness and reminding self to operate from a base of unconditional love, despite those difficult moments.
Insightful, fun. Approachable. And damn realistic. Lovely. Highly recommend for everyone whose inner critic is loud, filled with "fat-and-ugly attacks," be they on the body or the soul.
If you have read anything by the Ruiz family (i. e., The Four Agreements, The Five Levels of Attachment, Mastery of Self), you will appreciate Geneen Roth's philosophy and style of writing: short, simple, relateable, profound.
I will be keeping this by my bedside.
December 26, 2015
A friend of mine recommended When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair. I read this book in one sitting. I was impressed with the simple writing describing the ways to feeling thin, gorgeous, and happy when you feel anything but. Some of the ideas have been heard before, but somehow the author's style makes it more clear to the reader. The scenarios that she provides really help the reader completely understand the meaning of the "step"/"way". Instead of the suggestions and thoughts just being in your head, they go straight to the heart. I was really able to relate to this book and how the author discusses the feelings and actions towards food and ourselves. I never thought of the impact of keeping "thin" or "just-in-case (fat)" clothes. In addition, the recommendation of eating a hot meal everyday and the reason why make a lot of sense. For those chocolate lovers out there, the authors instructs the reader to carry chocolate with you everywhere. Of course, who would not love the no-diet approach? The chapters about realizing how the reader copes with mental attacks (by ourselves or others) and replacing the response of eating to something else are excellent. Empowering yourself is the healthiest thing a person can do (this is my opinion). I highly recommend this book to anyone with food issues and to anyone who wants to know the reasons and details of my comments above. Great job, Geneen Roth! I will definitely check out other books by this author.
December 16, 2014
Such good stuff here. I underlined and starred many passages for future reference. Here's one of my favorites:
"Bring cherished and the size of your body are not related - you only believe that they are. The truth is that you deserve to be cherished and to cherish yourself no matter what you weigh."
Also:
"Imagine what your life would be like without the drama of feeling fat. What would change? What would you notice that you don't notice now?"
If you have food issues, primarily bingeing and restricting, this is a great resource for healing. Roth reminds us to be curious about the things that we do, and above all, kind to ourselves.
"Bring cherished and the size of your body are not related - you only believe that they are. The truth is that you deserve to be cherished and to cherish yourself no matter what you weigh."
Also:
"Imagine what your life would be like without the drama of feeling fat. What would change? What would you notice that you don't notice now?"
If you have food issues, primarily bingeing and restricting, this is a great resource for healing. Roth reminds us to be curious about the things that we do, and above all, kind to ourselves.
April 20, 2017
I picked up this book because I saw the author on a Super Soul episode with Oprah. I wasn't aware that the book was about eating disorders. I think I was expecting humorous essays. I was pleasantly surprised to find that although this was the main topic for the book, the advice that the author gives applies to all facets of our lives: make time for yourself because you are worth it, life is short so you should enjoy each moment, etc.
October 27, 2014
I ordered this book thinking it was written by Anne Lamott, but she wrote the forward, not the book. Oh well, since I already had it in hand I may as well read it, even though I had vowed never to read another diet book. Turns out I had already done #43 of the "50 Ways" Burn Your Diet Books in the Bathtub and other Rituals.
I was surprised this wasn't a diet book, but rather a Self-Help book, which I happen to be fond of. Now this wasn't your normal self-help variety loaded with detailed advice on how to transform yourself.
It's 50 small, funny, real life glimpses of how we tend to undermine ourselves into thinking we're "ugly" not just physically, but intellectually, socially and in general.
#31 Understanding lagniappe was one of my favorites. A new word for me,so that gave a whole new meaning to appreciating your gifts, and this sentence still makes me smile, "The value of understanding the meaning of lagniappe is living the rest of our life as if you've just found your lost wallet." Advice you can take to the bank and smile while you're doing it.
I was surprised this wasn't a diet book, but rather a Self-Help book, which I happen to be fond of. Now this wasn't your normal self-help variety loaded with detailed advice on how to transform yourself.
It's 50 small, funny, real life glimpses of how we tend to undermine ourselves into thinking we're "ugly" not just physically, but intellectually, socially and in general.
#31 Understanding lagniappe was one of my favorites. A new word for me,so that gave a whole new meaning to appreciating your gifts, and this sentence still makes me smile, "The value of understanding the meaning of lagniappe is living the rest of our life as if you've just found your lost wallet." Advice you can take to the bank and smile while you're doing it.
September 4, 2013
I decided to buy the book when I was browsing everything diet-related in amazon. The reviews were full of praise. "Is it really that good?" I wondered. Well, now I wonder no more. The book was worth every penny, and I should definitely buy some copies for my friends.
The author's approach is gentle and very kind. The advice she gives is very sound, easy to try and devoid of any guilt and punishment that so many dieting books impose. This is not just another book. It's like a friend you can come back to each time you feel sad.
Some argue that there's nothing groundbreaking in there. Maybe so, but for me some of those well-known pieces of wisdom were eye-opening revelations because she presented them in a different way and made me look at so many things from a different angle.
I'm adding to "changed my life" shelf because some of the changes, albeit small, are really working wonders.
The author's approach is gentle and very kind. The advice she gives is very sound, easy to try and devoid of any guilt and punishment that so many dieting books impose. This is not just another book. It's like a friend you can come back to each time you feel sad.
Some argue that there's nothing groundbreaking in there. Maybe so, but for me some of those well-known pieces of wisdom were eye-opening revelations because she presented them in a different way and made me look at so many things from a different angle.
I'm adding to "changed my life" shelf because some of the changes, albeit small, are really working wonders.
February 19, 2008
I got this book because I read an article by Geneen in one of the 300 million magazines I read. It made me laugh. Because it made me laugh, I had to one of her books!
It can be really difficult for a person with food and weight issues to be able to smile or even laugh about our situations. The subtitle of this book is 50 ways to feel thin, gorgeous and happy (when you feel anything but)-there are 50 chapters in the book-one for each "tip".
For instance:
"#19 Remember that Thin People Have Cellulite, Get Old and Die."
And it is true, just because they are thin and cute, they could still have issues.
In looking through this book I have decided I am going to read it again...because, I was getting married the last time and may not have fully absorbed its lessons.
It can be really difficult for a person with food and weight issues to be able to smile or even laugh about our situations. The subtitle of this book is 50 ways to feel thin, gorgeous and happy (when you feel anything but)-there are 50 chapters in the book-one for each "tip".
For instance:
"#19 Remember that Thin People Have Cellulite, Get Old and Die."
And it is true, just because they are thin and cute, they could still have issues.
In looking through this book I have decided I am going to read it again...because, I was getting married the last time and may not have fully absorbed its lessons.
April 29, 2011
Subtitled: '50 Ways to Feel Gorgeous and Happy (When You Feel Anything But'
Think this is a great, easy to read book - you don't have to read it in order for example.
Having been asked for a trade by laura0141, I read through it again, and certainly haven't changed my opinion - it really is an excellent book. I've had a pretty uppy-downy food year and am so glad Laura PMd me - it has reminded me of some Very Important Things!! In fact it's really the sort of book to keep in mind and perhaps read and practice one Way each week. However, it has been gathering dust on my shelf since the first read so I know I won't manage to do that - much better to share it :-)
I'd love to read a British version of Geneen Roth!
Think this is a great, easy to read book - you don't have to read it in order for example.
Having been asked for a trade by laura0141, I read through it again, and certainly haven't changed my opinion - it really is an excellent book. I've had a pretty uppy-downy food year and am so glad Laura PMd me - it has reminded me of some Very Important Things!! In fact it's really the sort of book to keep in mind and perhaps read and practice one Way each week. However, it has been gathering dust on my shelf since the first read so I know I won't manage to do that - much better to share it :-)
I'd love to read a British version of Geneen Roth!
October 26, 2016
Everyone should read this book!
August 11, 2020
I love that Geneen Roth includes some chapters on friendships and how the healthiness of those could affect an individual's relationship with themselves and food. Live the insight and took a lot away from reading this!
"Moving your body is about physically connecting with the fundamental joy and gratitude of being alive."
"Moving your body is about physically connecting with the fundamental joy and gratitude of being alive."
August 10, 2019
I found the situations mentioned in the book totally relatable!
Really had an enjoyable read and learned a lot of cool tips from this book!
I would recommend this book to anyone who's trying to lose weight or simply not feeling confident about their body.
Really had an enjoyable read and learned a lot of cool tips from this book!
I would recommend this book to anyone who's trying to lose weight or simply not feeling confident about their body.
June 15, 2024
Love this little book that could be a coffee table book - filled with 50 short chapters on tips on how to enjoy our life a little more without obsessing about weight. Each chapter has a couple of action items at the end - things we can do to be just a bit better, to be a bit happier every day. Loosing weight doesn't happen by itself, but it also does not start with a diet. It starts by loving ourselves and accepting where we are right now. Geneen's advice is gentle - love yourself, celebrate life, but be aware of your behaviors and listen to what they are telling you. Our compulsions, our emotional eating, its all a link to our deeper, inner lives and gives us hints on where we can start the journey.
My favorite chapter is 14 - Carry a chunk of chocolate everywhere. "Chocolate reminds us to wake up, pay attention, stop reaching for what we don’t have and focus on what we do have. It teaches us that we don’t need a truck full of love to satisfy our hungry hearts. When we pay attention, enough is possible, here, now, right this very moment."
My favorite chapter is 14 - Carry a chunk of chocolate everywhere. "Chocolate reminds us to wake up, pay attention, stop reaching for what we don’t have and focus on what we do have. It teaches us that we don’t need a truck full of love to satisfy our hungry hearts. When we pay attention, enough is possible, here, now, right this very moment."
April 3, 2016
This book was recommended by a friend as I have struggled with food demons and comparing my height and weight with others for a good portion of my life. I also recovered from anorexia and as much as I feel like I have a much healthier relationship with food, 'It'' ,is always there. This is NOT diet book. This is NOT a "how to get a banging body ' book. This is a fabulous book about loving ourselves and our bodies. This tells the story on how we can think about not using food to punish or reward ourselves for our perceived shortcomings and victories in a negative manner. I love food and I want to have a healthy relationship with food and exercise. This book definitely helped me a lot.
August 9, 2017
Although this book was written 1998, there are many timely thoughts that we need reminding. Curiosity takes you out of you, Fat and Ugly are lies about yourself, you are free to assert, and one extremely important of living; BE FULLY PRESENT! Sneaking is destructive for your soul and for others. We forget about courtesy is not taking someone's time with our tardiness. Tolerate joy! True friendships applaud our strength and celebrate our successes And so many more snippets. A positive book that not only offers ideas but makes you laugh and love yourself a bit more!
A gift of a book from a dear friend which doubly adds to the pleasure.
A gift of a book from a dear friend which doubly adds to the pleasure.
March 24, 2008
When You Eat... consists of 50 very short chapters (some are only a couple of pages in length) with titles like "Carry a chunk of chocolate everywhere" and "Remind yourself that it's already broken." Weirdly, the word that came to mind when I was typing that was "Californian" so I checked the About the Author page and discovered that Roth does indeed live in Northern California - what was my point? Oh yes, if you're not comfortable
To read the rest of this review (and more!), please visit Trashionista
To read the rest of this review (and more!), please visit Trashionista
July 25, 2007
If you have ever eaten when you are bored, sad, lonely, afraid, or just for something to do this book is for you. Geneen Roth, the queen of emotional eating, lightheartedly provides simple solutions for moving beyond eating for emotional needs and starting to enjoy food and your own body. I consider this a must-read for women who have lost their way with food and are looking to find themselves again.
April 28, 2017
This is my least favorite Geneen Roth book. I was/am a huge fan of her earlier books. Her perspective about eating disorders is right on the mark and she’s very funny. But this book had too much advice; in her earlier books she shares her story, in an even more helpful manner, and trusts the reader to leave the particulars up to them. It’s still worth reading but I highly recommend her books published before this one.
January 9, 2024
I loved this book. It goes well with some of her other work, like Women, Food and God. This book has short essays on how to disengage from the feelings of "being fat" since you can go from feeling fat to feeling thin in moments (or the other way around usually). She has gentle advice about not dieting, not trying to change yourself through shame, guilt and force, but through paying attention and acting on your own behalf.
February 2, 2013
This is a fantastic book! A great book for anyone who feels like they are putting things on hold in their life, waiting for the moment when they are finally thin...Geneen Roth does an excellent job discussing the dieting-gain weight dance, and how you can let go of this and have a healthy and happier life.
For anyone who is constantly putting themselves down about their weight, this is a book well worth reading.
For anyone who is constantly putting themselves down about their weight, this is a book well worth reading.
July 15, 2008
This is a wonderfully uplifting educational feel good book. The author definitely has a sense of humor which helps make a book covering the topic of weight management fun to read. I think this book is a good read for all women who need a laugh, a reassurance, and a self esteem boost along with some helpful hints. Don't forget to keep that piece of chocolate in your purse! :)
February 23, 2009
So much common sense on way you need to be kind to yourself, and ways in which to do so. Geneen Roth has a unique and valuable way of putting the crazy issues of body image and weight into the proper perspective, and reminds us that we are so much more than what the scale says. I read this over and over again....
February 6, 2010
I liked the idea to get rid of your too big clothes and your too small clothes. I think I'm gonna try that. She wrote a pretty insightful book for such a short book. Near the end I liked the thought that being thin isn't going to make you happy, otherwise all the thin people in the world would be happy!!
June 19, 2010
I loved, loved, loved this book. Got it from the library, but I need to purchase it. It's not all about dieting. It's more about the negative messages we constantly play in our heads that defeat us, and how to get rid of them. I loved her humor and down to earth straight talk. I saw myself in every chapter. Can't wait to read more of her books. What an inspiration!
September 25, 2014
I'm looking forward to this ('after Women, Food, God...' because that's all the Duke Library has); Geneen's wit, empathy and insight were very helpful during therapy for ED several years ago.
I am rediscovering her now at a time where I'm finding myself needing more support after a huge life, career and geography change....
I am rediscovering her now at a time where I'm finding myself needing more support after a huge life, career and geography change....
April 17, 2012
So I don't normally read diet books and this is more of an un-diet book, but I liked it. Sage advice for anyone who has a mixed relationship with food. Not all of the tips applied to me (I have no desire to wear fancy clothes to the grocery store and doing something "luxurious" for myself each day seems silly), but a lot of them were spot on.
December 14, 2012
A tome I will return to again and again for solace and wisdom around eating/food/self-care issues. Simultaneously encouraging, amusing, and thought-provoking, this really challenged me to reassess some of my old ways of thinking about myself and the concept of nourishment, and work on the hard places it helped me identify.
March 2, 2015
I really liked this book, mostly because the chapters were short and easy to read. Kidding, but then again, not really. Profound doesn't necessarily equal difficult. Roth's voice is gentle and humorous and I feel her ideas can be applied to other self-image pitfalls besides food and eating. This self-help is about how to take care of yourself in affirming rather than destructive ways.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews