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Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life
The refreshingly original debut memoir of a guarded, over-achieving, self-lacerating young lawyer who reluctantly agrees to get psychologically and emotionally naked in a room of six complete strangers—her psychotherapy group—and in turn finds human connection, and herself.
Christie Tate had just been named the top student in her law school class and finally had her eating disorder under control. Why then was she driving through Chicago fantasizing about her own death? Why was she envisioning putting an end to the isolation and sadness that still plagued her in spite of her achievements?
Enter Dr. Rosen, a therapist who calmly assures her that if she joins one of his psychotherapy groups, he can transform her life. All she has to do is show up and be honest. About everything—her eating habits, childhood, sexual history, etc. Christie is skeptical, insisting that that she is defective, beyond cure. But Dr. Rosen issues a nine-word prescription that will change everything: “You don’t need a cure, you need a witness.
So begins her entry into the strange, terrifying, and ultimately life-changing world of group therapy. Christie is initially put off by Dr. Rosen’s outlandish directives, but as her defenses break down and she comes to trust Dr. Rosen and to depend on the sessions and the prescribed nightly phone calls with various group members, she begins to understand what it means to connect.
Group is a deliciously addictive read, and with Christie as our guide—skeptical of her own capacity for connection and intimacy, but hopeful in spite of herself—we are given a front row seat to the daring, exhilarating, painful, and hilarious journey that is group therapy—an under-explored process that breaks you down, and then reassembles you so that all the pieces finally fit.
Christie Tate had just been named the top student in her law school class and finally had her eating disorder under control. Why then was she driving through Chicago fantasizing about her own death? Why was she envisioning putting an end to the isolation and sadness that still plagued her in spite of her achievements?
Enter Dr. Rosen, a therapist who calmly assures her that if she joins one of his psychotherapy groups, he can transform her life. All she has to do is show up and be honest. About everything—her eating habits, childhood, sexual history, etc. Christie is skeptical, insisting that that she is defective, beyond cure. But Dr. Rosen issues a nine-word prescription that will change everything: “You don’t need a cure, you need a witness.
So begins her entry into the strange, terrifying, and ultimately life-changing world of group therapy. Christie is initially put off by Dr. Rosen’s outlandish directives, but as her defenses break down and she comes to trust Dr. Rosen and to depend on the sessions and the prescribed nightly phone calls with various group members, she begins to understand what it means to connect.
Group is a deliciously addictive read, and with Christie as our guide—skeptical of her own capacity for connection and intimacy, but hopeful in spite of herself—we are given a front row seat to the daring, exhilarating, painful, and hilarious journey that is group therapy—an under-explored process that breaks you down, and then reassembles you so that all the pieces finally fit.
282 pages, Hardcover
First published October 27, 2020
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October 17, 2020
This is a memoir in which the author, while in law school and while having very dark thoughts, decides to seek help in the form of a group therapy session. Initially, therapy seems to do a lot of good for Tate. She’s forced to start talking about her issues with eating and sex, and the therapist (Dr. Rosen) helps her give voice to issues long left unspoken.
But as we go along, the therapist’s instructions and his role in the author’s life grows, especially as he suggests that she join additional groups and he begins to encourage her (read: commands her) to stay in a toxic relationship or to accept a more high-powered job (that pays more...when his sessions are pricey. Just saying).
I am always pleased when people make choices to take care of themselves. I think therapy is an amazing thing you can do for yourself and I absolutely hate that often people can’t afford to get that kind of help. Christie Tate obviously had a number of things haunting her from her childhood and from previous relationships that she needed to work through and it seems like group therapy helped with that. She’s very honest in this memoir about what the experience was like, and for that I applaud her.
But what I’m having trouble accepting is the ownership these people allowed Dr. Rosen to have over their lives. As stated above, Tate would repeatedly make choices that her therapist had given her as “prescriptions,” such as telling a man who was basically a stranger that she was a “cock tease.” I waited until the end of the book, hoping that the reasoning for such a command would be made clear, but nope. If there was a reason, it’s destined to remain a mystery. More likely, it was a power trip on the part of this therapist.
“No secrets” is a rule that Dr. Rosen has. You must tell this therapist everything or else….what? You’re failing? You’re cheating yourself? He doesn’t say. The whole way through this book, I kept thinking, “it seems like the only thing you’d gain from such a rule is a room full of oversharers.” And boy, oh boy, I had no idea how right that gut impulse was.
Because Christie Tate isn’t just an author of this memoir, she was also in the news just shy of two years ago, for being the mommy blogger who refused her child’s request to take down their personal information. At the time her child requested this, Tate said, “Promising not to write about her anymore would mean shutting down a vital part of myself, which isn’t necessarily good for me or her.” Or, to rephrase in my words, “I’ve made a second career off of writing about these humans that I’ve birthed and now that they’re old enough to see that I’ve talked about their intimate details for an audience, I’m going to claim this blog is a vital part of my personhood so that I can deny them the right to privacy.”
The oversharing is a huge part of this book. There are so many sexual details. SO MANY SEXUAL DETAILS. I’m a very nosy Scorpio and even I DON’T NEED TO KNOW ALL OF THIS.
This is a really complicated book for me to talk about because yay therapy, but I think this therapist is ethically questionable and I think the author, according to the abovementioned mommy blogger scandal, doesn’t draw boundaries effectively. This one gave me an icky feeling and it’s not one I would recommend.
But as we go along, the therapist’s instructions and his role in the author’s life grows, especially as he suggests that she join additional groups and he begins to encourage her (read: commands her) to stay in a toxic relationship or to accept a more high-powered job (that pays more...when his sessions are pricey. Just saying).
I am always pleased when people make choices to take care of themselves. I think therapy is an amazing thing you can do for yourself and I absolutely hate that often people can’t afford to get that kind of help. Christie Tate obviously had a number of things haunting her from her childhood and from previous relationships that she needed to work through and it seems like group therapy helped with that. She’s very honest in this memoir about what the experience was like, and for that I applaud her.
But what I’m having trouble accepting is the ownership these people allowed Dr. Rosen to have over their lives. As stated above, Tate would repeatedly make choices that her therapist had given her as “prescriptions,” such as telling a man who was basically a stranger that she was a “cock tease.” I waited until the end of the book, hoping that the reasoning for such a command would be made clear, but nope. If there was a reason, it’s destined to remain a mystery. More likely, it was a power trip on the part of this therapist.
“No secrets” is a rule that Dr. Rosen has. You must tell this therapist everything or else….what? You’re failing? You’re cheating yourself? He doesn’t say. The whole way through this book, I kept thinking, “it seems like the only thing you’d gain from such a rule is a room full of oversharers.” And boy, oh boy, I had no idea how right that gut impulse was.
Because Christie Tate isn’t just an author of this memoir, she was also in the news just shy of two years ago, for being the mommy blogger who refused her child’s request to take down their personal information. At the time her child requested this, Tate said, “Promising not to write about her anymore would mean shutting down a vital part of myself, which isn’t necessarily good for me or her.” Or, to rephrase in my words, “I’ve made a second career off of writing about these humans that I’ve birthed and now that they’re old enough to see that I’ve talked about their intimate details for an audience, I’m going to claim this blog is a vital part of my personhood so that I can deny them the right to privacy.”
The oversharing is a huge part of this book. There are so many sexual details. SO MANY SEXUAL DETAILS. I’m a very nosy Scorpio and even I DON’T NEED TO KNOW ALL OF THIS.
This is a really complicated book for me to talk about because yay therapy, but I think this therapist is ethically questionable and I think the author, according to the abovementioned mommy blogger scandal, doesn’t draw boundaries effectively. This one gave me an icky feeling and it’s not one I would recommend.
October 30, 2020
I listened to the Audible version of the book, read by the author.
Memoirs are difficult when the writer comes across as unlikable, more so when that writer narrates her story. I suppose a certain amount of self-importance is necessary to assume one’s life is worth a story, unless you’re someone famous like Michelle Obama or you’ve had an extraordinary life experience or deep insight, none of which applies to Christie Tate. She comes across as privileged and unlikable, but that wasn’t my biggest issue with GROUP.
I don’t recommend GROUP because the therapist is creepy, bordering on unethical. I’ve taken Group Dynamics and Group Therapy courses in grad school and I’ve been in group therapy several times. This therapist and therapy breach so many guidelines and ethics protocols that GROUP is a poor example of group therapy.
I can’t think of a reason to recommend this book.
Memoirs are difficult when the writer comes across as unlikable, more so when that writer narrates her story. I suppose a certain amount of self-importance is necessary to assume one’s life is worth a story, unless you’re someone famous like Michelle Obama or you’ve had an extraordinary life experience or deep insight, none of which applies to Christie Tate. She comes across as privileged and unlikable, but that wasn’t my biggest issue with GROUP.
I don’t recommend GROUP because the therapist is creepy, bordering on unethical. I’ve taken Group Dynamics and Group Therapy courses in grad school and I’ve been in group therapy several times. This therapist and therapy breach so many guidelines and ethics protocols that GROUP is a poor example of group therapy.
I can’t think of a reason to recommend this book.
October 23, 2020
“I was afraid of marrying my heart with the scoring that rose naturally between people, the inevitable bumping against other peoples desires, demands, pettiness, preferences, and all the quotidian Negotiations that made up a relationship. Scoring was required for attachment, and my heart leapt the grooves”.
“The deep secret that I carried was that I didn’t belong. Anywhere. I spent half my days obsessing about food and my body and the weird shit I did to control both, and the other half trying to out run my loneliness with academic achievement”.
“For eight years, I’d been a member of a 12 step program that taught me how to eat without sticking my finger down my throat thirty minutes later. My future gleamed before me like grandma’s polished silver. I had every reason to be optimistic. But self-disgust about my stuckness—I was far away from other people, aeons away from a romantic relationship— lodged in every cell of my body. There was some reason I felt so apart and alone, a reason why my heart was so slick. I didn’t know what it was, but I felt it pulsing as I fell asleep and wished not to wake up”.
Christine Tate wrote other books before *Group*
“The No-Homework Women’s Bible Study”, books. I ‘think’ I counted about eight different books she wrote on Amazon.
Was she Christie Tate? So many similarities to Christie Tate
Confused me - a lot!
About the author (I read this on Amazon):
Christine Tate, originally a
midwest native, grew up in the northwest suburbs Chicago.
The only child of a successful floor trader and an Indian farm girl, she was strongly influenced by conservative ‘Bible Belt’. Christian theology. She started college at the age of fifteen and graduated from USC with honors at nineteen earning a degree in Cinema-Television.
After various career experiences and many years of living on the west coast, she met and married the love of her life. From there, she embarked on the travels and adventures that come with being a military spouse.
Christine and her husband have one daughter and are currently station in Virginia Beach, VA. She spends much of her time homeschooling her daughter, writing Bible studies, and being active in church life. She is also a contributing writer to
www.successstory.com and the producer of the annual Virginia Beach Christian Authors festival”
About the author:
*Christie* Tate in the last page of this book I’m holding
“Group” say:
About the Author;
Christy KHS a Chicago-based writer and essayist. She has been published in the New York Times (Modern Love), the Rumpus, The Washington post, the Chicago tribune, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Eastern Iowa Review, and elsewhere. Kiese Laymon selected her essay, “Promised Land” as they winner of the New Ohio nonfiction contest, which was published this fall”.
The two bio’s written about ‘Christine’ and ‘Christie’ are ( and feel), very different to me. Yet there were so many similarities — I was sure they were the same person ....
Another member pointed out that I am wrong about this .
I apologize if I am -
Things still don’t feel right to me - but having debates over it in comments - started to not feel right either —
I wasn’t crazy about this book.
I’m sure there will be an audience for “Group”....it’s Christie’s story.
But the nicest thing I can say about this book...
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
Was this memoir? fiction? nonfiction... or a little of all three?
It felt like ‘all three’....
I lost my interest early on...
This book was nowhere near the enjoyment that
“Maybe You Should Talk to Someone”, by Lori Gottlieb, was for me.
I didn’t find things funny, or terribly miserable. I didn’t get an ounce of pleasure eavesdropping on the others in the group, Christie, or the unconventional doctor, Dr. Rosen.
I didn’t care about who had an orgasm or not.
My favorite sentence:
“All I understood was that my therapist had a Freudian bug up his ass”.
I didn’t have a ton of respect for the following sentences:
A dialogue between Dr. Rosen and Christie:
“If you attach to me- here, in treatment—he pointed toward his dorky shoes— then you will be able to attach to men out there”. He gestured out the window. Assuming we have a healthy attachment, you can use it as a foundation for your romantic relationships”.
“Is it working? I held my palms to my chest”.
“Does a bear shit in the woods?”
2 stars ...
It left a sour taste in my mouth.
“The deep secret that I carried was that I didn’t belong. Anywhere. I spent half my days obsessing about food and my body and the weird shit I did to control both, and the other half trying to out run my loneliness with academic achievement”.
“For eight years, I’d been a member of a 12 step program that taught me how to eat without sticking my finger down my throat thirty minutes later. My future gleamed before me like grandma’s polished silver. I had every reason to be optimistic. But self-disgust about my stuckness—I was far away from other people, aeons away from a romantic relationship— lodged in every cell of my body. There was some reason I felt so apart and alone, a reason why my heart was so slick. I didn’t know what it was, but I felt it pulsing as I fell asleep and wished not to wake up”.
Christine Tate wrote other books before *Group*
“The No-Homework Women’s Bible Study”, books. I ‘think’ I counted about eight different books she wrote on Amazon.
Was she Christie Tate? So many similarities to Christie Tate
Confused me - a lot!
About the author (I read this on Amazon):
Christine Tate, originally a
midwest native, grew up in the northwest suburbs Chicago.
The only child of a successful floor trader and an Indian farm girl, she was strongly influenced by conservative ‘Bible Belt’. Christian theology. She started college at the age of fifteen and graduated from USC with honors at nineteen earning a degree in Cinema-Television.
After various career experiences and many years of living on the west coast, she met and married the love of her life. From there, she embarked on the travels and adventures that come with being a military spouse.
Christine and her husband have one daughter and are currently station in Virginia Beach, VA. She spends much of her time homeschooling her daughter, writing Bible studies, and being active in church life. She is also a contributing writer to
www.successstory.com and the producer of the annual Virginia Beach Christian Authors festival”
About the author:
*Christie* Tate in the last page of this book I’m holding
“Group” say:
About the Author;
Christy KHS a Chicago-based writer and essayist. She has been published in the New York Times (Modern Love), the Rumpus, The Washington post, the Chicago tribune, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Eastern Iowa Review, and elsewhere. Kiese Laymon selected her essay, “Promised Land” as they winner of the New Ohio nonfiction contest, which was published this fall”.
The two bio’s written about ‘Christine’ and ‘Christie’ are ( and feel), very different to me. Yet there were so many similarities — I was sure they were the same person ....
Another member pointed out that I am wrong about this .
I apologize if I am -
Things still don’t feel right to me - but having debates over it in comments - started to not feel right either —
I wasn’t crazy about this book.
I’m sure there will be an audience for “Group”....it’s Christie’s story.
But the nicest thing I can say about this book...
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
Was this memoir? fiction? nonfiction... or a little of all three?
It felt like ‘all three’....
I lost my interest early on...
This book was nowhere near the enjoyment that
“Maybe You Should Talk to Someone”, by Lori Gottlieb, was for me.
I didn’t find things funny, or terribly miserable. I didn’t get an ounce of pleasure eavesdropping on the others in the group, Christie, or the unconventional doctor, Dr. Rosen.
I didn’t care about who had an orgasm or not.
My favorite sentence:
“All I understood was that my therapist had a Freudian bug up his ass”.
I didn’t have a ton of respect for the following sentences:
A dialogue between Dr. Rosen and Christie:
“If you attach to me- here, in treatment—he pointed toward his dorky shoes— then you will be able to attach to men out there”. He gestured out the window. Assuming we have a healthy attachment, you can use it as a foundation for your romantic relationships”.
“Is it working? I held my palms to my chest”.
“Does a bear shit in the woods?”
2 stars ...
It left a sour taste in my mouth.
February 27, 2021
I think I’ve mentioned before, self help style books are not my jam. 🤷🏼♀️ So... why do I keep reading them? I’m blaming Reese for this one... 😜 This memoir follows the author through her issues. Primarily around her need to be in a relationship. 😬 I kinda kept hoping she’d come to the conclusion that she can be happy without a partner- but that’s not the message. 🤫 It’s more about being honest with everyone in your life about your issues.
Read
October 24, 2020I can’t really in good faith recommend this book to folks (unless you’re simply looking for non-fic that can be taken with a hefty grain of salt).
This was salacious and entertaining and... honestly kind of iffy.
Tate is a crassly funny narrator, and this book presents a no-holds-barred account of her experience with group therapy and coming to terms with traumatic memories and eating disorder recovery. I liked the metaphor of the scored heart that she uses throughout the book. Just like how one scratches hatch marks on pieces of clay that you intend to join together, Tate’s heart is in need of scoring: its slick, unmarred surface is no good for connecting with others’. Hopefully, group therapy—and baring/facing all the gory bits of her life, from childhood pinworms to her present-day sex life—will help with this.
I’d say that my first red flag went up when Tate discussed her first group session, during which she was informed by everyone present that there would be “no secrets”—aka zero confidentiality. In addition to this, there were other elements that I found a little outrageous and ethically dubious, like how all the clients, Tate included, adhered near-unquestioningly to Dr. Rosen’s bizarre “prescriptions” (e.g., telling a guy she was attracted to that she's a “cocktease,” and getting the words “I hate my breasts” henna-tattooed on her stomach). Again, I’d urge you to take these parts with a HEFTY grain of salt.
And though this book does contain self-help-y components that could—if removed from the context of this book—be of use, I find myself thinking about all the ways I could’ve gotten the message without having to sift through all the parts that made me feel icky.
Lastly, I would like to say that I’m not someone who can divorce a person’s art/writing/work from that person themselves. I didn’t realize that Christie Tate was a mommy blogger who refused to take down posts she’d made about her daughter’s personal life (after her kid saw herself online and asked her mom to stop). BIG NOPE FROM ME. Olive Fellows’ review enlightened me to this fact. (See links below for more info.)
This, coupled with the fact that I don’t always feel 100% good with rating people’s autiobiographical accounts, has led me to decide that I ultimately will not be giving this book a star rating.
Washington Post article by Tate (Jan. 3, 2019), “My daughter asked me to stop writing about motherhood. Here’s why I can’t do that.”
Buzzfeed article (Jan. 4, 2019), “This Mommy Blogger Is Under Fire For Refusing To Stop Writing About Her 9-Year-Old After The Girl Begged Her To”
Little Things article (Jan. 7, 2019), “Mommy Blogger Comes Under Fire For Refusing To Stop Writing About Her 9-Year-Old Daughter”
TW: bulimia, disordered eating, suicidal ideation, witnessing the death of a friend’s parent, not fully consensual sex, mentions of abuse by other group members
Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Canada for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This was salacious and entertaining and... honestly kind of iffy.
Tate is a crassly funny narrator, and this book presents a no-holds-barred account of her experience with group therapy and coming to terms with traumatic memories and eating disorder recovery. I liked the metaphor of the scored heart that she uses throughout the book. Just like how one scratches hatch marks on pieces of clay that you intend to join together, Tate’s heart is in need of scoring: its slick, unmarred surface is no good for connecting with others’. Hopefully, group therapy—and baring/facing all the gory bits of her life, from childhood pinworms to her present-day sex life—will help with this.
I’d say that my first red flag went up when Tate discussed her first group session, during which she was informed by everyone present that there would be “no secrets”—aka zero confidentiality. In addition to this, there were other elements that I found a little outrageous and ethically dubious, like how all the clients, Tate included, adhered near-unquestioningly to Dr. Rosen’s bizarre “prescriptions” (e.g., telling a guy she was attracted to that she's a “cocktease,” and getting the words “I hate my breasts” henna-tattooed on her stomach). Again, I’d urge you to take these parts with a HEFTY grain of salt.
And though this book does contain self-help-y components that could—if removed from the context of this book—be of use, I find myself thinking about all the ways I could’ve gotten the message without having to sift through all the parts that made me feel icky.
Lastly, I would like to say that I’m not someone who can divorce a person’s art/writing/work from that person themselves. I didn’t realize that Christie Tate was a mommy blogger who refused to take down posts she’d made about her daughter’s personal life (after her kid saw herself online and asked her mom to stop). BIG NOPE FROM ME. Olive Fellows’ review enlightened me to this fact. (See links below for more info.)
This, coupled with the fact that I don’t always feel 100% good with rating people’s autiobiographical accounts, has led me to decide that I ultimately will not be giving this book a star rating.
Washington Post article by Tate (Jan. 3, 2019), “My daughter asked me to stop writing about motherhood. Here’s why I can’t do that.”
Buzzfeed article (Jan. 4, 2019), “This Mommy Blogger Is Under Fire For Refusing To Stop Writing About Her 9-Year-Old After The Girl Begged Her To”
Little Things article (Jan. 7, 2019), “Mommy Blogger Comes Under Fire For Refusing To Stop Writing About Her 9-Year-Old Daughter”
TW: bulimia, disordered eating, suicidal ideation, witnessing the death of a friend’s parent, not fully consensual sex, mentions of abuse by other group members
Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Canada for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
August 20, 2020
This is a complex review for me!
I got to read this book as an ARC and I was super excited about it since I am first-year therapy graduate student. I think that I was coming at this book from a different angle. The book is from the perspective of a client in therapy, specifically group therapy. Christie is a very successful law student and professional who finds herself in need of help.
My main critique of this book (it is a memoir) was that I really struggled with ethical issues throughout the book. While I think some of the narration is tongue-in-cheek, as a first-year therapy student, I am learning a lot about the importance of ethics and boundaries regarding therapy. Having been in therapy myself for the last 4 years, it is very difficult for me to wrap my head around some of the lines crossed by the therapist and clients.
I am all for authenticity and honest emotions, but many times throughout the book I was confused about how the group therapies (multiple in a given week) were helpful to the clients, especially because they were required to pay so much money for the sessions. I have experienced AA-type meetings, and they are phenomenal for accountability and support - but they are donation based. I cannot fathom asking a client of mine to spend upwards of $900 on group therapy per month.
I landed on 2 stars for this book because I really appreciate the author's honesty and the writing was well done, but as a future therapist, I cannot recommend the book based on the lack of ethics demonstrated in the book by the client's therapist.
I got to read this book as an ARC and I was super excited about it since I am first-year therapy graduate student. I think that I was coming at this book from a different angle. The book is from the perspective of a client in therapy, specifically group therapy. Christie is a very successful law student and professional who finds herself in need of help.
My main critique of this book (it is a memoir) was that I really struggled with ethical issues throughout the book. While I think some of the narration is tongue-in-cheek, as a first-year therapy student, I am learning a lot about the importance of ethics and boundaries regarding therapy. Having been in therapy myself for the last 4 years, it is very difficult for me to wrap my head around some of the lines crossed by the therapist and clients.
I am all for authenticity and honest emotions, but many times throughout the book I was confused about how the group therapies (multiple in a given week) were helpful to the clients, especially because they were required to pay so much money for the sessions. I have experienced AA-type meetings, and they are phenomenal for accountability and support - but they are donation based. I cannot fathom asking a client of mine to spend upwards of $900 on group therapy per month.
I landed on 2 stars for this book because I really appreciate the author's honesty and the writing was well done, but as a future therapist, I cannot recommend the book based on the lack of ethics demonstrated in the book by the client's therapist.
October 31, 2020
Welp so, full transparency here, I have an eating disorder. I used to go to this awesome group a few years ago and now struggling to drag myself to this new group therapy. I tried reading this to find me some motivation to go, but it ended up being an upsetting read for me personally.
Dr. Rosen's therapies are strange and unorthodox and not alike anything you'd find normally. If you have questions about normal group therapy, ask google, your therapist, or myself. -- This book is not about anyone's recovery but about Tate presenting/whining about her sexual journey during a very unusual group therapy. If you're curious about it, great, but know this before you read this: a real therapist guides and supports. A real therapist helps you see if what you are doing will self-sabotage your happiness. A real therapist will not destroy your autonomy and force you to rely on other people. Tate's Group idolizes a man who does the contrary.
I wrote a very long angry review about why this book was a miss for me and how upset I was while reading it, but I'm just posting the previous paragraph because spilling hate is senseless. So yeah, I'm going to skedaddle out of here now. Bye.
Dr. Rosen's therapies are strange and unorthodox and not alike anything you'd find normally. If you have questions about normal group therapy, ask google, your therapist, or myself. -- This book is not about anyone's recovery but about Tate presenting/whining about her sexual journey during a very unusual group therapy. If you're curious about it, great, but know this before you read this: a real therapist guides and supports. A real therapist helps you see if what you are doing will self-sabotage your happiness. A real therapist will not destroy your autonomy and force you to rely on other people. Tate's Group idolizes a man who does the contrary.
I wrote a very long angry review about why this book was a miss for me and how upset I was while reading it, but I'm just posting the previous paragraph because spilling hate is senseless. So yeah, I'm going to skedaddle out of here now. Bye.
January 25, 2021
Group caught my attention after I read a couple of outstanding memoirs titled Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and Good Morning Monster. These two books are both penned by psychotherapists and both landed in my top 5 reads of 2020. I find books like these fascinating—I’ve always wondered about what going to therapy is like. I also find this type of book helpful in understanding some facets of myself. Group, in contradistinction to the other two, is written by the patient; and the patient is not in one-on-one therapy, but group therapy. This gives the reader a whole different view of the psychotherapy world. Furthermore, this particular “Christie-Dr. Rosen world” is probably highly unusual in that the patients are strongly encouraged to tell the group everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) and are under no restrictions in passing what is heard in that room to the whole world. Really? Is that actually legal?
In any event, I enjoyed Christie’s journey, albeit not as much as I enjoyed the two aforementioned titles. Group, while highly engrossing (Christie lets it ALL out), is not as masterfully woven nor as profound. I did not learn as much from this book as from the others. Sometimes it seemed really over the top for a nonfiction narrative. That being said, Group is quite a story of quite a woman and her struggles to have “a normal life.” She desperately wants someone who will love her and start a family with her. I watched her go through boyfriend after boyfriend, disaster after disaster, breakdown after breakdown. Though I can see how other readers might not like Christie, I did. I appreciated her fortitude in following whatever “prescriptions” (things to do, not meds) Dr. Rosen doled out and accepting feedback and empathy from the group. She tried. She really stuck with it and tried. I admired that. I also liked the fact that she realizes that years and years of therapy does not change her hardwiring. She understands that she will always be in danger of slipping back into her ways, but because of Dr. Rosen’s and the other patients’ help over the years she has come to the point where she can both live with yet handle her hardwiring and have “a normal life.” I loved her deep connection with Dr. Rosen and her group mates.
A small criticism is that we really don’t get to know the other people in the book very well, including Dr. Rosen and her most trusty group members. I realize they aren’t the “stars” of the book, but I still would have liked to have known them better.
Overall, I’m glad I picked this one up. The ratings are all over the place so it’s tough to know who will like it and who won’t. I certainly recommend that readers who have any interest in the world of psychotherapy try it though. It’s an easy read and kept my attention throughout.
Thanks to Net Galley, Avid Reader Press (Simon and Schuster), and Ms. Christie Tate for gifting me an advanced copy. Opinions are mine alone and are not biased in any way.
In any event, I enjoyed Christie’s journey, albeit not as much as I enjoyed the two aforementioned titles. Group, while highly engrossing (Christie lets it ALL out), is not as masterfully woven nor as profound. I did not learn as much from this book as from the others. Sometimes it seemed really over the top for a nonfiction narrative. That being said, Group is quite a story of quite a woman and her struggles to have “a normal life.” She desperately wants someone who will love her and start a family with her. I watched her go through boyfriend after boyfriend, disaster after disaster, breakdown after breakdown. Though I can see how other readers might not like Christie, I did. I appreciated her fortitude in following whatever “prescriptions” (things to do, not meds) Dr. Rosen doled out and accepting feedback and empathy from the group. She tried. She really stuck with it and tried. I admired that. I also liked the fact that she realizes that years and years of therapy does not change her hardwiring. She understands that she will always be in danger of slipping back into her ways, but because of Dr. Rosen’s and the other patients’ help over the years she has come to the point where she can both live with yet handle her hardwiring and have “a normal life.” I loved her deep connection with Dr. Rosen and her group mates.
A small criticism is that we really don’t get to know the other people in the book very well, including Dr. Rosen and her most trusty group members. I realize they aren’t the “stars” of the book, but I still would have liked to have known them better.
Overall, I’m glad I picked this one up. The ratings are all over the place so it’s tough to know who will like it and who won’t. I certainly recommend that readers who have any interest in the world of psychotherapy try it though. It’s an easy read and kept my attention throughout.
Thanks to Net Galley, Avid Reader Press (Simon and Schuster), and Ms. Christie Tate for gifting me an advanced copy. Opinions are mine alone and are not biased in any way.
September 13, 2020
Oh wow. Five stars all the way around.
I know that several reviews I’ve read are stuck on the ethics of Dr. Rosen and the way he chooses to practice in his group therapy, but you know what? It didn’t bother me. I see the value in the way he makes everyone uncomfortable and let’s them feel things and get angry and work through it as a team. Having a support system is so important. Having a place to go every week at an exact time to keep the feeling of purpose alive in people who are struggling to feel a purpose is so important. This setting works for some people and doesn’t work for others. Christie made life long friends and has a support system like I’ve never seen before. We could all use that from time to time.
This little therapy memoir made me laugh, made me cry, made me frustrated at times. It also made me wonder if the traditional 1:1 therapy didn’t work for me because I crave a deeper human connection with people rather than just one therapist and me talking about coping skills. Who knows? All I know right now is, this book was such a treat. A glimpse into all of us and our weird emotional struggles and how important it is to be communicative and compassionate towards others.
So, as uncomfortable as some parts were, I think it challenged me to think outside my comfort zone and see a different perspective towards therapy and sharing intimate details of our lives with others we trust in a safe environment. And about the unorthodox prescriptions that helped these people have emotional breakthroughs, I loved them.
10/10 would recommend if you need a good humble laugh about your own mental bullshit and want to feel the messy connection with some hilariously diverse strangers in group therapy. Also, if you need a reminder that our mental health struggles and successes ebb and flow and that it's always going to be a cycle of figuring out how to steady ourselves and then having the rug pulled out beneath us the next day - this is that reminder. You're not alone, and it's wonderful works of writing like this that we just need sometimes. This was a treasure.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for my advanced reading copy.
I know that several reviews I’ve read are stuck on the ethics of Dr. Rosen and the way he chooses to practice in his group therapy, but you know what? It didn’t bother me. I see the value in the way he makes everyone uncomfortable and let’s them feel things and get angry and work through it as a team. Having a support system is so important. Having a place to go every week at an exact time to keep the feeling of purpose alive in people who are struggling to feel a purpose is so important. This setting works for some people and doesn’t work for others. Christie made life long friends and has a support system like I’ve never seen before. We could all use that from time to time.
This little therapy memoir made me laugh, made me cry, made me frustrated at times. It also made me wonder if the traditional 1:1 therapy didn’t work for me because I crave a deeper human connection with people rather than just one therapist and me talking about coping skills. Who knows? All I know right now is, this book was such a treat. A glimpse into all of us and our weird emotional struggles and how important it is to be communicative and compassionate towards others.
So, as uncomfortable as some parts were, I think it challenged me to think outside my comfort zone and see a different perspective towards therapy and sharing intimate details of our lives with others we trust in a safe environment. And about the unorthodox prescriptions that helped these people have emotional breakthroughs, I loved them.
10/10 would recommend if you need a good humble laugh about your own mental bullshit and want to feel the messy connection with some hilariously diverse strangers in group therapy. Also, if you need a reminder that our mental health struggles and successes ebb and flow and that it's always going to be a cycle of figuring out how to steady ourselves and then having the rug pulled out beneath us the next day - this is that reminder. You're not alone, and it's wonderful works of writing like this that we just need sometimes. This was a treasure.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for my advanced reading copy.
April 17, 2021
Giveaway Win!
I want to start this review off by saying that I don't think traditional forms of therapy are for everyone. I've tried going to therapy and I've tried taking anxiety medication and neither were for me. That does not mean that those things won't work for someone else. Mental health treatment is not a one size fits all type of thing.
For me these are the things that work for ME (these are not recommendations for anyone else)
1) taking time away (a day or two)from everyone (total solitude) to analyze (over think) how I am feeling.
2) Cleaning or organizing my things or the things of friends and family
3) Acupuncture! Its life changing (for me)
That being said I enjoyed the author Christie Tate's journey. Group therapy takes alot of courage and I know that I could not handle it. Christie gives us brutally honest look at her journey from a group therapy non believer to a group therapy lifer. It isn't a linear path, Christie has lots of ups and downs and at various times she wants to quit but she sticks it out.
I entered to win this book not for myself but for my sister. She is a great believer in group therapy and I will be passing this book on to her this weekend.
The Group made me feel uncomfortable and at times my anxiety was triggered but I think it was triggered in a good way.
BUT!
If talk of depression, anxiety, suicide, self harm, disordered eating, sex addiction or cheating may be triggering for you than maybe tread lightly or avoid this book completely. Because of those reasons I won't give a recommendation for this book but I think this book is a really good book that could be helpful for some people.
I want to start this review off by saying that I don't think traditional forms of therapy are for everyone. I've tried going to therapy and I've tried taking anxiety medication and neither were for me. That does not mean that those things won't work for someone else. Mental health treatment is not a one size fits all type of thing.
For me these are the things that work for ME (these are not recommendations for anyone else)
1) taking time away (a day or two)from everyone (total solitude) to analyze (over think) how I am feeling.
2) Cleaning or organizing my things or the things of friends and family
3) Acupuncture! Its life changing (for me)
That being said I enjoyed the author Christie Tate's journey. Group therapy takes alot of courage and I know that I could not handle it. Christie gives us brutally honest look at her journey from a group therapy non believer to a group therapy lifer. It isn't a linear path, Christie has lots of ups and downs and at various times she wants to quit but she sticks it out.
I entered to win this book not for myself but for my sister. She is a great believer in group therapy and I will be passing this book on to her this weekend.
The Group made me feel uncomfortable and at times my anxiety was triggered but I think it was triggered in a good way.
BUT!
If talk of depression, anxiety, suicide, self harm, disordered eating, sex addiction or cheating may be triggering for you than maybe tread lightly or avoid this book completely. Because of those reasons I won't give a recommendation for this book but I think this book is a really good book that could be helpful for some people.
November 10, 2020
At first I read in horror, the most unconventional approach to therapy I’ve ever heard of. A therapist who doesn’t believe in the novel idea of privacy? Huh? That goes against all my understanding of therapy, I kept thinking what kind of hack is this Dr. Rosen? And then.....! I ended up thinking what kind of genius is this Dr. Rosen! Hallelujah! What a revelation! Maybe this IS the answer we should all sign up for group therapy immediately!! BUT by midway I lost patience with THIS story there was only so much woe is me, tantrums and bad sex stories I can tolerate, the book reads like a laundry list of bad dates and bad energy. I again questioned the ethical boundaries of her therapist, it bothered me, so many moments left me unnerved. Generally I’m all for a forum that allows open honesty and revealing flaws and insecurities in most instances but some details I could have done without. I was sick of everyone pandering to her. Instead of inspiring this book was exasperating and exhausting! I appreciate the idea behind this book and her expelling the benefits of a lifelong commitment to group therapy but this book didn’t convince me enough. I think I need therapy after finishing this book!
December 27, 2020
I never ever DNF. But I couldn’t read the last 45 pages. I couldn’t endure one more minute of this book. It just oozes self-importance. How many more times are we going to read that you were at the top of your class in law school? How many times were you going to name drop the name of your prestigious firm?
As someone whose life was truly changed by group therapy, I felt like this book was a disservice to therapy as a whole. I expected to read about self-discovery, breakthroughs, and eye-opening approaches to growth. There was none of this. There were groups where people trashed each other, gave awful advice, and just sat around like a bunch of chatty Cathy’s yammering on and on about everything but things that were at the core of their issues. I struggled to find anything poignant in this entire story. Anything that would actually help someone on a quest to healing. Anything that I would even consider relatable. I’m still unsure of what the goal of this book actually is. Again- it all felt like an attempt at self-promotion (mayhaps for that mommy blog we’ve all heard so much about?).
As someone whose life was truly changed by group therapy, I felt like this book was a disservice to therapy as a whole. I expected to read about self-discovery, breakthroughs, and eye-opening approaches to growth. There was none of this. There were groups where people trashed each other, gave awful advice, and just sat around like a bunch of chatty Cathy’s yammering on and on about everything but things that were at the core of their issues. I struggled to find anything poignant in this entire story. Anything that would actually help someone on a quest to healing. Anything that I would even consider relatable. I’m still unsure of what the goal of this book actually is. Again- it all felt like an attempt at self-promotion (mayhaps for that mommy blog we’ve all heard so much about?).
Read
September 11, 2020This is difficult to rate because I didn't have any problems with the writing or how the author presented herself as a person, but the whole thing made my skin crawl. Everything Dr. Rosen did felt gross and unethical and over the line. There were so many times when Christie was about ready to quit going to group, and I was like "Good for you! Recognize that this isn't ok!" and then she always went back. I am glad that she ultimately got what she wanted and is in a good place. However, I don't think these "unconventional" methods and the TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS a year, as opposed to a more normal and less creepy group therapy, were necessary to get her there. I genuinely cannot believe this man still has a license to practice. The whole thing seemed like a cult, which the group members make a joke about, but I didn't think it was funny. I'm very interested to see what other people think when the book is released next month (I work at a library and received an advanced copy). Right now it seems like I'm in the minority with my ethical concerns.
April 4, 2024
I’ll start with why I’m giving this book three stars instead of two or one. First, I found the writing engaging and the story overall entertaining. I wasn’t bored reading this book and I wanted to know what would happen next for Christie Tate as she navigated her mental health. I also like part of the vibe this book gives off in terms of the importance of vulnerability, going to therapy, and addressing our relational baggage.
What I didn’t love was the poor representation of ethics within therapy and group therapy. The lack of confidentiality piece really annoyed me and off the top of my head I can’t imagine a situation where lack of confidentiality as a baseline would be appropriate for any therapeutic encounter. There were a few other instances of things that Dr. Rosen did that made me cringe, like one scene toward the end where he hugs the author and rocks her back and forth. I really don’t want people to think that the therapy portrayed in this book is the norm or what should be expected, even though again I think some of Tate’s takeaways about relationships were meaningful.
I also thought the book was intensely heteronormative and amatonormative – and its impact dulled because of that – with little rigorous analysis of its own adherence to societal standards for women and femmes. Tate is obsessed with finding a male romantic partner throughout the book. And, that’s fine because that’s her lived experience, but the lack of self-awareness or commentary from her or anyone else in the book about this was puzzling and unsatisfying to me. Like instead of her being obsessed with men for the whole book let’s dive deeper into how that came to be in the first place?? Reading this made me miss one of my favorite mental health memoirs, Appetites by Caroline Knapp, which contained a lot more self-scrutiny and both intellectual and emotional depth.
Overall, an okay read that flew by, with major limitations that would make me hesitant to recommend it.
What I didn’t love was the poor representation of ethics within therapy and group therapy. The lack of confidentiality piece really annoyed me and off the top of my head I can’t imagine a situation where lack of confidentiality as a baseline would be appropriate for any therapeutic encounter. There were a few other instances of things that Dr. Rosen did that made me cringe, like one scene toward the end where he hugs the author and rocks her back and forth. I really don’t want people to think that the therapy portrayed in this book is the norm or what should be expected, even though again I think some of Tate’s takeaways about relationships were meaningful.
I also thought the book was intensely heteronormative and amatonormative – and its impact dulled because of that – with little rigorous analysis of its own adherence to societal standards for women and femmes. Tate is obsessed with finding a male romantic partner throughout the book. And, that’s fine because that’s her lived experience, but the lack of self-awareness or commentary from her or anyone else in the book about this was puzzling and unsatisfying to me. Like instead of her being obsessed with men for the whole book let’s dive deeper into how that came to be in the first place?? Reading this made me miss one of my favorite mental health memoirs, Appetites by Caroline Knapp, which contained a lot more self-scrutiny and both intellectual and emotional depth.
Overall, an okay read that flew by, with major limitations that would make me hesitant to recommend it.
December 18, 2020
(Prepare for the longest book review I have ever written:) I absolutely do not want to take away from the validity of Christie Tate's experiences as she lived them, but I worry that the lack of insight and critical reflection present in her memoir has the potential to lead to really harmful and misleading views of counseling.
At best, some of the treatment methods used by Dr. Rosen were not best practice, but at worst there were major ethical violations. As Christie recounts her experiences, the lack of acknowledgment of the unethical nature of these practices reads like an implicit stamp of approval. Actually, Christie and her fellow group mates seem to have an inflated and warped view of Dr. Rosen such that he is a brilliant man who can do no wrong, and any continued personal struggles they might have are a result of their own failures as clients, not the completely inappropriate treatment their therapist is providing.
To name *just a few* of the major therapeutic red flags in this book:
1. Conflict of Interest - when Christie has her intake appointment with Dr. Rosen, she realizes they were in the same eating disorder recovery group years ago. This is a HUGE conflict of interest, and ethically Dr. Rosen never should have taken her on as a client in the first place.
2. Confidentiality - in all of Dr. Rosen's groups, confidentiality is actively discouraged, and group members are instructed to keep no secrets from the group, and are chastised or isolated when they do. The foundation of a secure therapeutic relationship is confidentiality, and the fact that this was taken away from all group members is completely inappropriate and likely counterintuitive to progress.
3. Limits of Confidentiality/Self Harm - while confidentiality is incredibly important in therapeutic relationships, mental health providers are ethically obligated to intervene if a client shares threat of harm to self or others. At one point in her memoir, Christie sends Dr. Rosen an email that is screaming of suicidal ideation, and he IGNORES IT until she comes back to group therapy days later, to...what? Teach her a lesson? It worked out for Dr. Rosen in this case, but come on. You can literally lose your license for this kind of thing. ALSO, Christie harms herself multiple times during group (like actively bleeds), and Dr. Rosen just passively observes, at most getting some Neosporin to patch her up after one particularly rough session. 100% not okay.
4. Emotional Boundaries - Dr. Rosen crosses so many boundaries with his clients it is honestly cringey. While he may have technically been practicing within the scope of his license, I feel like a majority of the strategies he used completely disregarded best practice or were just super inappropriate. For example, rather than providing medication (which is a valid and research-based form of treatment for some people), he provided "prescriptions" to clients that basically amounted to dares they needed to complete for his approval. It almost seemed as though he was emotionally manipulating vulnerable clients for his own entertainment, just to see how far he could push them. For example, he encouraged Christie to engage in an affair with a married man (who was also in her group, btw), and at one point "prescribed" Christie to tell one of her colleagues something incredibly racy and inappropriate. He created such co-dependent relationships with his clients. A counselor's job is to help you better understand yourself, your actions, your motivations, so that you can learn from them and determine how YOU want to make decisions in the future, not be reliant on your therapist to make every life decision for you. Maybe this is why so many members of Rosen groups have proudly been in therapy with him for 10+ years, which is absolutely not the goal of therapy (also feels like a money grab on Rosen's part?). What methods are really being used here? It is telling that there is no goal setting, no use of a specific therapeutic framework.
5. Physical Boundaries - During one group session, Dr. Rosen literally cradles Christie's entire body in his lap for the entirety of the 90 minutes....Nothing else really to add here.
I love that conversations about mental health are becoming more mainstream, but one of the dangers of pop psychology is accepting everything we are reading at face value without viewing it with the same critical lens we would any other scientific field. Hoping that anyone on the fence about seeking mental health resources doesn't view this book as the standard for ethical and research based counseling.
At best, some of the treatment methods used by Dr. Rosen were not best practice, but at worst there were major ethical violations. As Christie recounts her experiences, the lack of acknowledgment of the unethical nature of these practices reads like an implicit stamp of approval. Actually, Christie and her fellow group mates seem to have an inflated and warped view of Dr. Rosen such that he is a brilliant man who can do no wrong, and any continued personal struggles they might have are a result of their own failures as clients, not the completely inappropriate treatment their therapist is providing.
To name *just a few* of the major therapeutic red flags in this book:
1. Conflict of Interest - when Christie has her intake appointment with Dr. Rosen, she realizes they were in the same eating disorder recovery group years ago. This is a HUGE conflict of interest, and ethically Dr. Rosen never should have taken her on as a client in the first place.
2. Confidentiality - in all of Dr. Rosen's groups, confidentiality is actively discouraged, and group members are instructed to keep no secrets from the group, and are chastised or isolated when they do. The foundation of a secure therapeutic relationship is confidentiality, and the fact that this was taken away from all group members is completely inappropriate and likely counterintuitive to progress.
3. Limits of Confidentiality/Self Harm - while confidentiality is incredibly important in therapeutic relationships, mental health providers are ethically obligated to intervene if a client shares threat of harm to self or others. At one point in her memoir, Christie sends Dr. Rosen an email that is screaming of suicidal ideation, and he IGNORES IT until she comes back to group therapy days later, to...what? Teach her a lesson? It worked out for Dr. Rosen in this case, but come on. You can literally lose your license for this kind of thing. ALSO, Christie harms herself multiple times during group (like actively bleeds), and Dr. Rosen just passively observes, at most getting some Neosporin to patch her up after one particularly rough session. 100% not okay.
4. Emotional Boundaries - Dr. Rosen crosses so many boundaries with his clients it is honestly cringey. While he may have technically been practicing within the scope of his license, I feel like a majority of the strategies he used completely disregarded best practice or were just super inappropriate. For example, rather than providing medication (which is a valid and research-based form of treatment for some people), he provided "prescriptions" to clients that basically amounted to dares they needed to complete for his approval. It almost seemed as though he was emotionally manipulating vulnerable clients for his own entertainment, just to see how far he could push them. For example, he encouraged Christie to engage in an affair with a married man (who was also in her group, btw), and at one point "prescribed" Christie to tell one of her colleagues something incredibly racy and inappropriate. He created such co-dependent relationships with his clients. A counselor's job is to help you better understand yourself, your actions, your motivations, so that you can learn from them and determine how YOU want to make decisions in the future, not be reliant on your therapist to make every life decision for you. Maybe this is why so many members of Rosen groups have proudly been in therapy with him for 10+ years, which is absolutely not the goal of therapy (also feels like a money grab on Rosen's part?). What methods are really being used here? It is telling that there is no goal setting, no use of a specific therapeutic framework.
5. Physical Boundaries - During one group session, Dr. Rosen literally cradles Christie's entire body in his lap for the entirety of the 90 minutes....Nothing else really to add here.
I love that conversations about mental health are becoming more mainstream, but one of the dangers of pop psychology is accepting everything we are reading at face value without viewing it with the same critical lens we would any other scientific field. Hoping that anyone on the fence about seeking mental health resources doesn't view this book as the standard for ethical and research based counseling.
November 24, 2020
“Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life” (2020) is a candid and remarkable debut written by Christie Tate. The basis of her memoir is the exploration of group therapy that is based on the therapeutic alliance modeled after 12 Step Programs. Tate began group therapy when she was enrolled in law school seeking relief for her addiction and relationship issues. Tate is a practicing attorney in Chicago, with a passion for writing, essay, and blogging-- her award winning writing has been featured in several notable publications including the NYT and Washington Post.
Initially, the idea of group therapy didn’t appeal to Tate. After being recommended by a friend to Dr. Rosen, a Harvard educated psychiatrist, she was impressed with the results of his organized therapy groups. Dr. Rosen would insist that while he honored all forms of patient confidentiality, his therapy groups were based on the fact that secrets were “toxic” and ultimately blocked the healing process. Tate also realized she had been in a 12 Step program previously with Dr. Rosen and actually knew the history of his personal problems! This didn’t faze him in the slightest bit, and he made it clear that all aspects and intimate details of her life would be shared with her assigned group. Tate gave group therapy a try, and her slow healing process began.
The book spans over several unspecified years. It was unclear how Tate realistically managed the two critical parts of her life: her academic studies in law school, with her group therapy. The stories of her peers and lovers were really interesting and how group members worked together with affirmations and phone calls outside their group to support one another; there were noticeably strange questionable "prescriptions" assigned group members by Dr. Rosen. Tate naturally healed over time as she matured, and openly related misteps, periods of insecurity, desperation, and poor relationship choices. However, the idea of being part of costly therapy groups indefinitely may not appeal to some readers, though it was encouraging this form of therapy worked quite well for Ms. Tate. ** With thanks to Simon and Schuster via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
Initially, the idea of group therapy didn’t appeal to Tate. After being recommended by a friend to Dr. Rosen, a Harvard educated psychiatrist, she was impressed with the results of his organized therapy groups. Dr. Rosen would insist that while he honored all forms of patient confidentiality, his therapy groups were based on the fact that secrets were “toxic” and ultimately blocked the healing process. Tate also realized she had been in a 12 Step program previously with Dr. Rosen and actually knew the history of his personal problems! This didn’t faze him in the slightest bit, and he made it clear that all aspects and intimate details of her life would be shared with her assigned group. Tate gave group therapy a try, and her slow healing process began.
The book spans over several unspecified years. It was unclear how Tate realistically managed the two critical parts of her life: her academic studies in law school, with her group therapy. The stories of her peers and lovers were really interesting and how group members worked together with affirmations and phone calls outside their group to support one another; there were noticeably strange questionable "prescriptions" assigned group members by Dr. Rosen. Tate naturally healed over time as she matured, and openly related misteps, periods of insecurity, desperation, and poor relationship choices. However, the idea of being part of costly therapy groups indefinitely may not appeal to some readers, though it was encouraging this form of therapy worked quite well for Ms. Tate. ** With thanks to Simon and Schuster via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
June 19, 2025
This book was really uncomfortable to read. At times I also found it horrifying and disturbing. I applaud the author's desire to seek help, but the group she attended came across as "cult-ish" and/or something that would be endorsed by Gywenth Paltrow (Goop). Any group that requires you to come to their organization 3 times a week for 90 minutes $800/month screams cult-ish. This kind of "therapy" is not realistic or sustainable for the average person. Most people cannot dedicate that much time to therapy or pay that much money. This book highlights the author's glaring white privilege... along with the privilege that come with her position as a "1st in her class, high power lawyer".
At times, it felt like this book was a one long, never ending diary entry of a 15 year old detailing every aspect of her love life.... which also came across as one long "humble-brag" (celebrating how many men she's dated and slept with). I could have done without half - 100% of these details around her love life (felt like a trashy cheap novel). The most compelling parts of the book was the section where she addressed a traumatic event that happened to her when she was on vacation in Hawaii as a teenager and how the therapist helped her to acknowledge the pain and the powerlessness she felt.
The author talks about how the group helped her "grow up" and at the end of the book, her therapist blesses her with a "blessing of the child". Even the tone of the author's voice in the audio book came across as super immature and "teenager-ish" at times. So I wonder if all her child-ish tantrums in therapy, along with all the ridiculous "details" about the "boys" she dated was just to enforce this idea that she was essentially a "child" and this group helped her grow up.
At times, it felt like this book was a one long, never ending diary entry of a 15 year old detailing every aspect of her love life.... which also came across as one long "humble-brag" (celebrating how many men she's dated and slept with). I could have done without half - 100% of these details around her love life (felt like a trashy cheap novel). The most compelling parts of the book was the section where she addressed a traumatic event that happened to her when she was on vacation in Hawaii as a teenager and how the therapist helped her to acknowledge the pain and the powerlessness she felt.
The author talks about how the group helped her "grow up" and at the end of the book, her therapist blesses her with a "blessing of the child". Even the tone of the author's voice in the audio book came across as super immature and "teenager-ish" at times. So I wonder if all her child-ish tantrums in therapy, along with all the ridiculous "details" about the "boys" she dated was just to enforce this idea that she was essentially a "child" and this group helped her grow up.
Read
July 2, 2020I love reading about other people's therapy, so was fascinated by this account of unconventional group therapy and its life-changing consequences.
October 28, 2020
Just what the doctor ordered to forget about the pandemic and no electricity- what’s better than reading about someone else’s crazy messed up life! Lots of humor and misery kept me engaged until the very last page!
Group is an engaging and entertaining read. The author goes deep as she brings us with her to group therapy sessions and shows how the difficult process of revealing personal secrets allowed her to develop more intimate relationships.
In this memoir, Christie Tate, a lawyer with an eating disorder and overwhelming feelings of sadness, shares with us her journey as she is faced with thoughts of suicide and then takes the chance to heal by opening up to her therapist, Dr. Rosen, and some strangers in group therapy. Dr. Rosen assigns to Christie some odd tasks and after considerable resistance, she begins to trust him and complies with his unusual requests. Developing a strong sense of self and her quest for intimacy and connection are challenging goals that require continual personal effort and support from the group.
For Christie, the level of trust required to reveal her inner secrets to the other members is overwhelming and painful…
“How do I let the group in? You share with them every aspect of your life that deals with relationships, friendship, family, sex, dating, romance, all of it.”
“Wait what’s going to happen to me when I start group? You’re going to feel lonelier than you ever have in your life. If you’re serious about getting into intimate relationships, becoming a real person, as you said, you need to feel every feeling you’ve been stifling since you were a kid. The loneliness, the anxiety, the anger, the terror…”
As Christie experiences some success in her group therapy she expands participation in additional groups recommended by Dr. Rosen. Developing relationships and becomes increasingly more open, we witness Christie’s personal transformation throughout the book. With openness and humor, Tate shares the breaking down and rebuilding of her self amongst strangers who become trusted friends and her lifeline. I enjoyed Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life by Christie Tate and recommend it.
Group is an engaging and entertaining read. The author goes deep as she brings us with her to group therapy sessions and shows how the difficult process of revealing personal secrets allowed her to develop more intimate relationships.
In this memoir, Christie Tate, a lawyer with an eating disorder and overwhelming feelings of sadness, shares with us her journey as she is faced with thoughts of suicide and then takes the chance to heal by opening up to her therapist, Dr. Rosen, and some strangers in group therapy. Dr. Rosen assigns to Christie some odd tasks and after considerable resistance, she begins to trust him and complies with his unusual requests. Developing a strong sense of self and her quest for intimacy and connection are challenging goals that require continual personal effort and support from the group.
For Christie, the level of trust required to reveal her inner secrets to the other members is overwhelming and painful…
“How do I let the group in? You share with them every aspect of your life that deals with relationships, friendship, family, sex, dating, romance, all of it.”
“Wait what’s going to happen to me when I start group? You’re going to feel lonelier than you ever have in your life. If you’re serious about getting into intimate relationships, becoming a real person, as you said, you need to feel every feeling you’ve been stifling since you were a kid. The loneliness, the anxiety, the anger, the terror…”
As Christie experiences some success in her group therapy she expands participation in additional groups recommended by Dr. Rosen. Developing relationships and becomes increasingly more open, we witness Christie’s personal transformation throughout the book. With openness and humor, Tate shares the breaking down and rebuilding of her self amongst strangers who become trusted friends and her lifeline. I enjoyed Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life by Christie Tate and recommend it.
October 29, 2020
I didn’t really ‘finish’ this book as such, I gave up sixty pages in. If this is an actual memoir and not simply a piece of fiction, then there is a psychiatrist out there in the world somewhere that seriously shouldn’t be practicing. I am a huge supporter of therapy, but this type of ‘therapy’ is unethical and just plain wrong. What a weird thing to decide to write about and share with others..
Read
November 24, 2020So. Many. Ethical. Violations. 😖 If you do read this, just keep in mind that many of the therapists actions were not ethical in the practice of therapy in the US.
June 22, 2020
I love reading advice columns and shows about people in therapy. I find the way people see their own problems fascinating, and I find them even more fascinating when taken through another person who is there to consider and possibly disagree with the way a person sees their problems. I am frustrated that I can't read a million books about people sharing their experiences in therapy. But I get it. Sometimes when I watch/read/hear these stories I think, "Wow, how can anyone be okay sharing this much of themselves publicly, even if they're anonymized?" It is hard to put yourself out there to a therapist, it is harder to put that conversation out there in the world. This book is not one where the author is being guarded about what she presents of her life to you. Not even a little. And it's not a normal book about therapy either. And I loved every single page. I could read 100 more books like this, and I would be okay with at least a few more of them being written by Tate herself.
Even though I love stories about therapy, I admit I was skeptical that the book would work. Memoirs can be about too much or too little, sometimes the writer has not fully grappled with something, and sometimes they find themselves more interesting than anyone else does. All of these seemed to be potential pitfalls here. But I didn't run into any of them. At first I wondered if it would be "enough," would there be enough drama and conflict? Would it be a pretty run of the mill story? But of course even a run of the mill story is fascinating if you tell it the right way. We learn right away that the trigger event that got Tate into therapy in her 20's was feelings of suicidal ideation after years of struggling with an eating disorder. It's serious, but you wonder, she seems well-adjusted, after all she just got first in her class in law school. But don't worry, there is a lot to Tate that you don't see on the surface at first.
The thing is, this is a seriously dramatic story full of conflict and also full of growth. It delivers on every level. Tate is interesting, the therapy is interesting (we'll get to that more), and it is incredibly interesting to see the actual progress of how she changes over time. It helps that Tate is willing to be so open about her actions and her flaws that it verges on discomfort for the reader. (There are some cringe-y moments, but a lot of this is because Tate is never trying to defend or soften herself. And I suspect the cringe is more of our own defense mechanisms kicking in than anything else.)
The therapy here is, well, I don't think it's an overstatement to call it nontraditional. It isn't just that this is group therapy. Tate's therapist isn't like any I've ever encountered before. The "prescriptions" he gives his patients are often horrifying. His actions are often horrifying. The typical boundaries of therapist and patient are basically nonexistent. And I suspect people who don't like this book will dislike it because of how uncomfortable they are with Tate herself and with her therapist's actions. I am not a therapist and I've never had a therapist like this one and I can't say that I endorse anything that happens in this book. But I can't deny the effects on Tate. The group insists on a complete lack of privacy as well as a lack of confidentiality, and wow did I bristle reading that and I suspect others will, too. Even for me, a person who is far too open about herself to strangers in public, it is maybe not the right way. But there's no denying how it plays out in Tate's life. At first it also seems like the group will be an antagonistic experience, but it turns out that being totally open about yourself with strangers can help you be more totally open with yourself and the people in your life. I'm not going to turn around and tell you to try to replicate Tate's experience, but it certainly makes for riveting reading. I read this in less than a day.
You really can't deny the work Tate did that she's laid out for you here. She doesn't have those flaws I see in memoir so often when someone lacks perspective on an event or isn't fully honest with themselves or has neglected to understand the repercussions of their actions. Tate sure seems to see everything pretty clearly. The writing is honest and clear, Tate guides you through with warm openness while still being herself, messy and crass and critical.
(I have been Twitter mutuals with Tate for many years from back in our blogging days.)
Even though I love stories about therapy, I admit I was skeptical that the book would work. Memoirs can be about too much or too little, sometimes the writer has not fully grappled with something, and sometimes they find themselves more interesting than anyone else does. All of these seemed to be potential pitfalls here. But I didn't run into any of them. At first I wondered if it would be "enough," would there be enough drama and conflict? Would it be a pretty run of the mill story? But of course even a run of the mill story is fascinating if you tell it the right way. We learn right away that the trigger event that got Tate into therapy in her 20's was feelings of suicidal ideation after years of struggling with an eating disorder. It's serious, but you wonder, she seems well-adjusted, after all she just got first in her class in law school. But don't worry, there is a lot to Tate that you don't see on the surface at first.
The thing is, this is a seriously dramatic story full of conflict and also full of growth. It delivers on every level. Tate is interesting, the therapy is interesting (we'll get to that more), and it is incredibly interesting to see the actual progress of how she changes over time. It helps that Tate is willing to be so open about her actions and her flaws that it verges on discomfort for the reader. (There are some cringe-y moments, but a lot of this is because Tate is never trying to defend or soften herself. And I suspect the cringe is more of our own defense mechanisms kicking in than anything else.)
The therapy here is, well, I don't think it's an overstatement to call it nontraditional. It isn't just that this is group therapy. Tate's therapist isn't like any I've ever encountered before. The "prescriptions" he gives his patients are often horrifying. His actions are often horrifying. The typical boundaries of therapist and patient are basically nonexistent. And I suspect people who don't like this book will dislike it because of how uncomfortable they are with Tate herself and with her therapist's actions. I am not a therapist and I've never had a therapist like this one and I can't say that I endorse anything that happens in this book. But I can't deny the effects on Tate. The group insists on a complete lack of privacy as well as a lack of confidentiality, and wow did I bristle reading that and I suspect others will, too. Even for me, a person who is far too open about herself to strangers in public, it is maybe not the right way. But there's no denying how it plays out in Tate's life. At first it also seems like the group will be an antagonistic experience, but it turns out that being totally open about yourself with strangers can help you be more totally open with yourself and the people in your life. I'm not going to turn around and tell you to try to replicate Tate's experience, but it certainly makes for riveting reading. I read this in less than a day.
You really can't deny the work Tate did that she's laid out for you here. She doesn't have those flaws I see in memoir so often when someone lacks perspective on an event or isn't fully honest with themselves or has neglected to understand the repercussions of their actions. Tate sure seems to see everything pretty clearly. The writing is honest and clear, Tate guides you through with warm openness while still being herself, messy and crass and critical.
(I have been Twitter mutuals with Tate for many years from back in our blogging days.)
November 11, 2020
“My turn, your turn. Back and forth. So this was how it happened. This was how you built an intimate relationship. Word by word. Story by story. Revelation by revelation. Just like group.”
An intimate debut memoir centering on group therapy and how opening up to strangers saved a life.
I’ve often wondered how freeing it would be for a stranger or group of strangers to know my secrets. To have a group of people that did not hold back, judge or even tell you what to do. Simply a group of individuals that listened. I can imagine it would be the ultimate test of vulnerability but I’ve always thought when we are our most vulnerable, we open ourselves to endless growth and connection.
After reading and loving Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb earlier this year, I’ve found myself compelled to read more about therapy. I think fans of Gottlieb will really enjoy Tate’s honesty, wit and her determination towards finding herself and human connection.
This intimate and compelling story is available October 27th.
***Please take note that the therapy methods are unconventional and could be harmful to some. This is Christie’s experience and should not be used as a blanket Group therapy experience.***
An intimate debut memoir centering on group therapy and how opening up to strangers saved a life.
I’ve often wondered how freeing it would be for a stranger or group of strangers to know my secrets. To have a group of people that did not hold back, judge or even tell you what to do. Simply a group of individuals that listened. I can imagine it would be the ultimate test of vulnerability but I’ve always thought when we are our most vulnerable, we open ourselves to endless growth and connection.
After reading and loving Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb earlier this year, I’ve found myself compelled to read more about therapy. I think fans of Gottlieb will really enjoy Tate’s honesty, wit and her determination towards finding herself and human connection.
This intimate and compelling story is available October 27th.
***Please take note that the therapy methods are unconventional and could be harmful to some. This is Christie’s experience and should not be used as a blanket Group therapy experience.***
December 11, 2020
First thing to take into consideration is my bias as I review this book. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who has facilitated group therapy sessions for those with substance use and mental health disorders for almost three years.
My first problem with this read is the author and main character is so unlikable. She is demanding, needy, and selfish. For example, she treats her therapist like crap and speaks over her other group members during sessions to bring up her own problems, demanding Dr. Rosen to fix them.
My 2nd problem. The preview of this book leads you to believe that her eating disorder will be the focus of her treatment and growth but this book solely focuses on all her unhealthy romantic relationships. That's it. That's the book. She is miserable for 35 years until she finds someone to shack up with.
My third and biggest problem is the ethics. I almost put down this book for this problem. Dr. Rosen doesn't respect confidentiality or have his group members adhere to it. He had loose boundaries with his clients. Going to their weddings, hugging and touching them, taking their phone calls at any time, and Christie even has dinner with him and his wife. She even has a photo of Dr Rosen in her home on her fridge ?? Oh. And Dr. Rosen lets group members date each other. Further, Dr. Rosen just tells clients what to do with these "prescriptions" and then tells them they need more group sessions with him multiple times a week. Christie discloses she pays close to 900 a month for his therapy. Dr. Rosen's clients remain his clients for years and years which i believe to be enabling the clients. His sessions don't sound like therapy, but more like support groups which people can get for free or much more low costs in many communities.
I was hoping to take away something much more inspiring from this book as a group therapist but I grimaced through most of it.
My first problem with this read is the author and main character is so unlikable. She is demanding, needy, and selfish. For example, she treats her therapist like crap and speaks over her other group members during sessions to bring up her own problems, demanding Dr. Rosen to fix them.
My 2nd problem. The preview of this book leads you to believe that her eating disorder will be the focus of her treatment and growth but this book solely focuses on all her unhealthy romantic relationships. That's it. That's the book. She is miserable for 35 years until she finds someone to shack up with.
My third and biggest problem is the ethics. I almost put down this book for this problem. Dr. Rosen doesn't respect confidentiality or have his group members adhere to it. He had loose boundaries with his clients. Going to their weddings, hugging and touching them, taking their phone calls at any time, and Christie even has dinner with him and his wife. She even has a photo of Dr Rosen in her home on her fridge ?? Oh. And Dr. Rosen lets group members date each other. Further, Dr. Rosen just tells clients what to do with these "prescriptions" and then tells them they need more group sessions with him multiple times a week. Christie discloses she pays close to 900 a month for his therapy. Dr. Rosen's clients remain his clients for years and years which i believe to be enabling the clients. His sessions don't sound like therapy, but more like support groups which people can get for free or much more low costs in many communities.
I was hoping to take away something much more inspiring from this book as a group therapist but I grimaced through most of it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 24, 2025
I guess I’m in a psychological memoir phase….
After listening to Catherine Gildiner’s Good Morning Monster (which I highly recommend) I remembered a debut memoir published in 2020 during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic that I never got around to reading. One of Reese Witherspoon’s Book Club picks, it’s a story of a 20-something lawyer living in Chicago, a recovering bulimic, who demonstrates suicidal ideation and longs to have a meaningful relationship with a man. She enters Dr. Rosen’s controversial group therapy sessions in search of help.
I listened to the audiobook which is read by the author, Christie Tate. Initially, it took me a while to get into the audiobook, but soon I couldn’t wait to find more time to listen to another chapter.
While I was very skeptical of Dr. Rosen’s possibly unethical therapy techniques and prescriptions, I loved so many things about this book!
I enjoyed watching her personal growth throughout the novel and bearing witness to the evolution of self.
I appreciated her willingness to be vulnerable by sharing intimate details from her sexual relationships as well as that awful story about pin worms!
I also spent my early twenties living downtown Chicago around the same time period near where the author lives and works. It was easy for me to imagine the streets, buildings, and landmarks, and really helped me connect with the author.
While Tate has received some flack for the unusual group therapy that she credits for helping her find a meaningful relationship, it is important to note that she did have a successful experience. It seems that trusting the process really worked for her (although I do see how Dr. Rosen blurs boundaries and may be preying on the vulnerable). Therapists may take issue with his unorthodox methods.
4/5 stars
After listening to Catherine Gildiner’s Good Morning Monster (which I highly recommend) I remembered a debut memoir published in 2020 during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic that I never got around to reading. One of Reese Witherspoon’s Book Club picks, it’s a story of a 20-something lawyer living in Chicago, a recovering bulimic, who demonstrates suicidal ideation and longs to have a meaningful relationship with a man. She enters Dr. Rosen’s controversial group therapy sessions in search of help.
I listened to the audiobook which is read by the author, Christie Tate. Initially, it took me a while to get into the audiobook, but soon I couldn’t wait to find more time to listen to another chapter.
While I was very skeptical of Dr. Rosen’s possibly unethical therapy techniques and prescriptions, I loved so many things about this book!
I enjoyed watching her personal growth throughout the novel and bearing witness to the evolution of self.
I appreciated her willingness to be vulnerable by sharing intimate details from her sexual relationships as well as that awful story about pin worms!
I also spent my early twenties living downtown Chicago around the same time period near where the author lives and works. It was easy for me to imagine the streets, buildings, and landmarks, and really helped me connect with the author.
While Tate has received some flack for the unusual group therapy that she credits for helping her find a meaningful relationship, it is important to note that she did have a successful experience. It seems that trusting the process really worked for her (although I do see how Dr. Rosen blurs boundaries and may be preying on the vulnerable). Therapists may take issue with his unorthodox methods.
4/5 stars
November 22, 2020
Let me first say say, everyone has a right to tell their story. Also let me say, seeking help in the form of therapy/counseling is commendable but definitely not one size fits all. I'd caution anyone reading this memoir to make a judgement about therapy as a whole. What is described here is abnormal and crosses ethical boundaries like a drunk driver.
Top of her class in law school, Christie Tate had no social life outside of her 12 step meetings for her mostly managed disordered eating. Oh, and she is bored a lot and daydreams about stray bullets killing her. This leads her to a new therapist, Dr. Rosen, that guarantees he can "fix" her if she joins his group therapy sessions and tells them every single detail of her life.
Secrets are toxic.
Oh yeah, no confidentiality. Group members are allowed to talk about anything they hear. This is interesting as the book moves forward and the narrator is in THREE different groups at once. Most group members have already heard details of her sex life because all of Dr. Rosen's patients seem to be intertwined between groups and are allowed to talk about anything and anyone.
Despite not loving the crassness of the book, I was rooting for the narrator. I felt bad for her because she built up this wonderful support system of people but it was SO flawed because not a single one of them was going to tell her that paying $840 PER MONTH was a SCAM! They couldn't because they were all in the Dr. Rosen cult along with her. So frustrating!
His methods were nose-crinkling (aka unethical and icky).
He insists that her sex dreams are about him. Tells her she can't healthily attach to men outside of group before she attaches to him. Has her call multiple group members daily for odd "check-ins". I was done when he encouraged her to date a group member that was married. (Spoiler, it didn't work out).
She mentions towards the end of the book that she is a "lifer". Her life is blissfully normal at this point with a husband and two kids. Money well spent, I suppose. She still attends group on a weekly basis. At this point it's nothing more that a gossip circle with pals that pat her on the back for successfully navigating mundane life matters. Girl.
Secrets may be toxic. But so is your therapist.
Top of her class in law school, Christie Tate had no social life outside of her 12 step meetings for her mostly managed disordered eating. Oh, and she is bored a lot and daydreams about stray bullets killing her. This leads her to a new therapist, Dr. Rosen, that guarantees he can "fix" her if she joins his group therapy sessions and tells them every single detail of her life.
Secrets are toxic.
Oh yeah, no confidentiality. Group members are allowed to talk about anything they hear. This is interesting as the book moves forward and the narrator is in THREE different groups at once. Most group members have already heard details of her sex life because all of Dr. Rosen's patients seem to be intertwined between groups and are allowed to talk about anything and anyone.
Despite not loving the crassness of the book, I was rooting for the narrator. I felt bad for her because she built up this wonderful support system of people but it was SO flawed because not a single one of them was going to tell her that paying $840 PER MONTH was a SCAM! They couldn't because they were all in the Dr. Rosen cult along with her. So frustrating!
His methods were nose-crinkling (aka unethical and icky).
He insists that her sex dreams are about him. Tells her she can't healthily attach to men outside of group before she attaches to him. Has her call multiple group members daily for odd "check-ins". I was done when he encouraged her to date a group member that was married. (Spoiler, it didn't work out).
She mentions towards the end of the book that she is a "lifer". Her life is blissfully normal at this point with a husband and two kids. Money well spent, I suppose. She still attends group on a weekly basis. At this point it's nothing more that a gossip circle with pals that pat her on the back for successfully navigating mundane life matters. Girl.
Secrets may be toxic. But so is your therapist.
November 12, 2020
So I’ve been rolling this review around in my head since I finished the book, and to be honest I’m still not sure where I land. From a strictly entertainment standpoint, it was good. I listened to it and found myself really looking forward to the times when I could get back to the story. Christie is no holds barred- and from what she shares in the book we know that complete honestly was something she struggled with before therapy so for her openness, I applaud her. That said, I love to get deep about people’s experiences and even I felt like a voyeur at times.
I am glad there are more and more books that are coming into the popular reading sphere that seek to normalize therapy. My hesitation to recommend this is the therapist’s methods themselves. They were unorthodox, to say the least, and while I’m glad they were helpful to this group of people- the boundaries were so blurred I don’t think they existed. It reminded me of the psychologist from Augusten Burrough’s RUNNING WITH SCISSORS, which is definitely not a professional you want to be compared to. I kept waiting for the methods to “make sense”- but we never really got there.
I was also struck by how much of the other group members information was shared and I wonder how well it was de-identified. Readers who pick this up to see if therapy is for them might walk away feeling like the 3 groups a week the author sought help from are inaccessible, and for most, they probably are. There are so many ways to seek help, though, and I hope anyone thinking of it finds a method that works for them.
All in all I am very on the fence about where I land with this but I think if you just stick with the fact that it’s memoir and the author doesn’t owe it to the reader to explain therapy/methodology, then you’ll enjoy it.
I am glad there are more and more books that are coming into the popular reading sphere that seek to normalize therapy. My hesitation to recommend this is the therapist’s methods themselves. They were unorthodox, to say the least, and while I’m glad they were helpful to this group of people- the boundaries were so blurred I don’t think they existed. It reminded me of the psychologist from Augusten Burrough’s RUNNING WITH SCISSORS, which is definitely not a professional you want to be compared to. I kept waiting for the methods to “make sense”- but we never really got there.
I was also struck by how much of the other group members information was shared and I wonder how well it was de-identified. Readers who pick this up to see if therapy is for them might walk away feeling like the 3 groups a week the author sought help from are inaccessible, and for most, they probably are. There are so many ways to seek help, though, and I hope anyone thinking of it finds a method that works for them.
All in all I am very on the fence about where I land with this but I think if you just stick with the fact that it’s memoir and the author doesn’t owe it to the reader to explain therapy/methodology, then you’ll enjoy it.
January 10, 2021
I picked up Group by Christie Tate after it was recommended a couple of times by people I trust. I completely devoured this book in just a couple of days (in all honesty I could have read it in one sitting). I loved it!
Christie's memoir about her decision to join group therapy (and commit wholeheartedly to it!) is funny and uncomfortable all at the same time. There are some pretty raw descriptions about sex and sexual exploration, so be prepared for that.
I have no idea if Christie's therapists methods are good or bad, right or wrong, but I think they could work for the right people and the right people seemed to find their way there.
Christie also discusses in depth her struggles with eating disorders so if that is a difficult subject for you, it may be a book to skip.
But really, I just loved it and can't wait to recommend it to someone else!
Christie's memoir about her decision to join group therapy (and commit wholeheartedly to it!) is funny and uncomfortable all at the same time. There are some pretty raw descriptions about sex and sexual exploration, so be prepared for that.
I have no idea if Christie's therapists methods are good or bad, right or wrong, but I think they could work for the right people and the right people seemed to find their way there.
Christie also discusses in depth her struggles with eating disorders so if that is a difficult subject for you, it may be a book to skip.
But really, I just loved it and can't wait to recommend it to someone else!
December 22, 2020
I liked this book, but I especially liked the ending and how things turned out for the author. I appreciated so much the story about her past trauma and how not dealing with it allowed it to fester in her life in so many negative ways. That made me think about things in my own past and how I possibly haven't dealt with them and how they are manifesting for me.
What I didn't particularly care for were the endless musings about her sex life and her failure to have a voice and advocate for herself. I get that it was part of what she needed to discover and bring out in herself, but I still remain a bit skeptical about her therapist and his treatment techniques. It's one thing to encourage patients to discover things for themselves, but it's another to actively encourage destructive behavior (such as dating a married man). I see that other reviewers didn't like the "no secrets" thing, but I see how keeping secrets wreaked havoc with Tate and how it could definitely be a drawback to becoming mentally healthy.
It feels kind of strange to say negative things about someone's personal story, but overall it's not a bad book, I just couldn't really relate to it for the most part. Not awful, just not the best book about therapy that I've read.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
What I didn't particularly care for were the endless musings about her sex life and her failure to have a voice and advocate for herself. I get that it was part of what she needed to discover and bring out in herself, but I still remain a bit skeptical about her therapist and his treatment techniques. It's one thing to encourage patients to discover things for themselves, but it's another to actively encourage destructive behavior (such as dating a married man). I see that other reviewers didn't like the "no secrets" thing, but I see how keeping secrets wreaked havoc with Tate and how it could definitely be a drawback to becoming mentally healthy.
It feels kind of strange to say negative things about someone's personal story, but overall it's not a bad book, I just couldn't really relate to it for the most part. Not awful, just not the best book about therapy that I've read.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
November 1, 2021
Yikes, this was bad. I really hope people don’t believe that this is what group therapy is like. Dr. Rosen’s methods are unethical and it was infuriating to read about their sessions.
I’m so glad that I don’t have to spend another second reading about Tate’s sex life. She clearly has no idea what asexuality means and labels herself “borderline asexual” and a “sexual anorexic” whenever she experiences relationship problems. Tate comes across as incredibly self-centered (she often talked over her peers during group and made her problems the focus of sessions), judgmental of others (for example, she thinks liking video games is a red flag somehow?), and privileged without realizing it, which made it difficult to empathize with her. And it really felt as though Tate’s whole focus was finding a relationship, not actually addressing her issues.
I’m disappointed that this was a Reese’s Book Club pick.
I’m so glad that I don’t have to spend another second reading about Tate’s sex life. She clearly has no idea what asexuality means and labels herself “borderline asexual” and a “sexual anorexic” whenever she experiences relationship problems. Tate comes across as incredibly self-centered (she often talked over her peers during group and made her problems the focus of sessions), judgmental of others (for example, she thinks liking video games is a red flag somehow?), and privileged without realizing it, which made it difficult to empathize with her. And it really felt as though Tate’s whole focus was finding a relationship, not actually addressing her issues.
I’m disappointed that this was a Reese’s Book Club pick.
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