Feeding the Hungry Heart: The Experience of Compulsive Eating

by Geneen Roth

This is how Geneen Roth remembers her time as an emotional overeater and self-starver. After years of struggle, Roth finally broke free from the destructive cycle of bingeing and purging. In the two decades since her triumph, she has gone on to help tens of thousands of others do the same through her lectures, workshops, and retreats. Those she has met during this time have shared stories that are both heartrending and inspiring, which Roth has gathered for this unique book.Twenty years after its original publication, Feeding the Hungry Heart continues to inspire women and men, helping them win the battle against a hunger that goes deeper than a need for food.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Health, Psychology, Food, Mental Health, Memoir

196 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1981

About the author

Geneen Roth's pioneering books were among the first to link compulsive eating and perpetual dieting with deeply personal and spiritual issues that go far beyond food, weight and body image. She believes that we eat the way we live, and that our relationship to food, money, love is an exact reflection of our deepest held beliefs about ourselves and the amount of joy, abundance, pain, scarcity, we believe we have (or are allowed) to have in our lives.

Rather than pushing away the "crazy" things we do, Geneen's work proceeds with the conviction that our actions and beliefs make exquisite sense, and that the way to transform our relationship with food is to be open, curious and kind with ourselves-instead of punishing, impatient and harsh. In the past thirty years, she has worked with hundreds of thousands of people using meditation, inquiry, and a set of seven eating guidelines that are the foundation of natural eating.

Geneen has appeared on many national television shows including: The Oprah Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Articles about Geneen and her work have appeared in numerous publications including: O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has written monthly columns in Good Housekeeping Magazine and Prevention Magazine. Geneen is the author of eight books, including The New York Times bestsellers When Food is Love and Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Her newest book, to be published in March 2011, is Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations about Food and Money.

Reviews

[Marci · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book, and others by Geneen Roth, was recommended to me by a med student working with my physician. She too had struggled with her weight and had found answers that changed her life through Ms. Roth's ideas.

Ms. Roth's philosophy is that intuitively we know what we should be eating to be healthy, that forcing ourselves to follow strict diets may work for some but not for all, and that if someone learns to truly love themself they, too, will take good care of their health and their body--naturally. They will learn to "listen" to what their body needs, not what their emotions want.

There is much in her book to ponder, but this quote from the last page was like manna from Heaven to me:

"The thrill is indescribable when, having decided long ago that your compulsive eating is hopeless, you discover that you do have the ability to choose what to eat and when, that you really don't ever have to go on another diet (it's not a lie), and that, in addition to all this, you are losing weight. It is as if you have been crawling over parched and barren land for years, have given up hope of ever finding meadows, and then suddenly you come upon green lushness and thousands of china-blue irises, pulsing and swaying to a windsong."

I can't wait for the windsong. I feel it is coming. I hear the first measure of what I hope will one day be a full symphony.

[Ulyana · Rating 3 out of 5]

First of all, PHEW! I am so glad that I am not, never have been, and hopefully will never be in the shoes of the women who contributed their stories to this book. Some stories are simply heart-wrenching and brought tears to my eyes. However, like so many women, I have suffered from body image issues and have used food to console myself, so this book did speak to me in some ways. In particular, this book is a good reminder to always accept your body the way it is, learn to distinguish real hunger from emotional hunger, to always be present and aware, and to remember to nurture yourself emotionally and physically. I will definitely check-out other books by this author. The reason I gave three stars to this book is because it is essentially a collection of short stories from many different women, who participated in the author's compulsive eating workshops, making it a hodge podge of personal stories, different writing styles, and so on. However, I definitely enjoyed the bits of wisdom from Geneen Roth herself (and her writing).

[Jennifer H · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of my go-to books when I'm feeling out of control with compulsive eating. Geneen has a lot of words of wisdom that turn into self-esteem building mantras for those who have issues with food.

[Tram-Anh Huynh · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was like a class project to compile stories from different contributors. It's sectioned into the topics of Bingeing, Body Image, Hunger, Nourishment, and Breaking Free. Few glimmers to me, but if you're a compulsive eater, there's probably at least one story you can relate to, and maybe that makes all the difference in the throes of a relapse.


Some highlights:
- Fat has become the national obsession. It is a curse. Fat is a symbol for anything you are that you don't want to be. Fat has nothing to do with how much you weigh.

-Being thin is a "thing". Has any "thing" you've ever obtained brought you truly long lasting satisfaction? Is it not true that the excitement of a "thing" is in the desiring of it, and that once it is yours, your focus changes to the next "thing" you don't have? Because being thin is not easily recognizable as a thing - the way a house, address, or car is - it may be difficult to see the validity of this reasoning. And yet, if you think about it, being thin is not an inner state of being: it is something your body isn't. It is external; its value is created by the society and the times.

- The drive to eat compulsively is not about food. It is about hungers. The hungers of regret and sorrow, of unspoken anger, unrealised dreams; the hungers of your own potential that are waiting to be filled... The more you run, the more frightened you become. Because then you have to deal with a problem you've created along the way: the 10 or 20 or 30 lb you've gained. Problems that arise from running are only symptoms of the underlined hungers. But they become realities in themselves that must be dealt with - so the focus gets transferred from the psychic to the physical level.

- You don't stop binging because it's disgusting, because you're spineless, or because you know you will be fat for the rest of your life if you continue. But the need to binge does become irrelevant when you realize what you want and that you will not get it by eating.

- Awareness asked that, if you use food to knock out the pain, notice whether or not it is effective, notice if and for how long the pain disappears. If you learned that food is not relieving your suffering - if it is, in fact, creating more of it - you can choose a more satisfying anodyne. There is no need to struggle, only to remain sensitive to the motivation behind your actions and then to the actual effectiveness of those actions.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not really a new-age, self-help reader so I didn't know what to expect with this one, but I really enjoyed it. Roth makes a close study of emotional eating and explains the condition with compassion, forgiveness, and awareness, while suggesting ways to break free from this condition. The book intersperses fiction, poetry, and advice from Roth. I wasn't sure I'd dig that mix, but I really enjoyed the way it broke up the text. It wasn't just 200 pages about emotional eating. Instead, it contained real-life experiences that helped highlight how women (mostly) use emotional eating as a survival tactic. It was kind of riveting.

[Elizabeth Good · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saw Geneen when this book was a few days old, at a women’s conference here in Santa Cruz county California where she used to live, and where she began this work with small groups of women in her home. Was SO impressed as she’s a witty, perceptive writer and almost no one was taking about these issues in 1982 of food and emotions (for women especially), diet culture, body image, accepting the body, and letting it be the wise chooser of food, particularly as she did.

Over time as I learned more about the physiology of binge eating, and the hundreds of possible contributing factors, the shine faded for me and hence three stars. It is not nearly this simple for many of us. I know people who’ve been harmed by her approach. But she definitely has been helpful to thousands where the issues were less biological, and her fame and success speaks to that.

[Rachel (Into a Story) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. This is the workshop audiobook and not the actual book, probably should have read the real thing.

I didn’t relate to this one...it’s more about compulsive eating & being overweight. A lot of it seems to be about weight loss...which I found irritating. I struggle with completely different eating issues.

It’s just a lot of the same stuff Geneen Roth has said in her other books & it just annoyed me. Although she does have some good insights, I’m just getting annoyed with her in general.

This actually gave me more anxiety about eating & gaining weight.

[Ghadah]

Listening to Geneen felt like a long, warm hug. Although the information weren’t brand new or groundbreaking to me, sometimes you just need to hear out loud the things you already know and believe in. Hearing them from someone else makes them more true.

“The purpose of healing is not to be forever happy—that is impossible. The purpose of healing is to be awake, and to live while you are live instead of dying while you are alive.”

[Lain · Rating 5 out of 5]

I so wish I'd read this book about twenty years ago! Though I've never experienced the binge/diet cycle, I certainly can relate to many of the described attitudes towards food. I think my young adulthood would've been very different if I'd discovered Geneen Roth before now. Food doesn't have to be forbidden, and we don't need to fear our appetites. What fantastic news!

[Grazyna Nawrocka · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is awesome, and full of new ideas for me. It uncovers that we have two kinds of hunger - bodily, and emotional. Food will never satisfy our emotional hunger, and sometimes nothing will. We just might try to learn to live with it. I like author's approach, and pieces provided by the other people with eating disorders.

Now, about me. I have tried many diets, and some computer applications. I had lost a lot of weight, but then I've gained again. I am fed up with spending 3 or more hours daily to search for, and then enter everything I eat and drink to app, and being unable to reach enough iron or other nutrients anyway. There must be a better way, I thought. How did the people before computers or nutritional books live?

"Feeding the Hungry Heart" is a second source for me, which says that if you relearn to recognize when your stomach is full, you can master your eating. I'm an elder now. I haven't realized that my metabolism changed and slowed down. It takes my stomach quite a long while to communicate with me, but I started hearing when it tells me "I'm full, it's time to stop eating." I hope that as I go on, I'll become more sensitive to this kind of non-verbal communication.

The idea of staying still with the feeling of "vortex," stress, depression, desperation, and letting those emotions pass, is new to me. Enduring this maximum down, without doing anything, just relaxing, recognizing it, and letting it burn itself away is crazy, but it just might work. I have read about substitution, which can be tried after we surface from "the pit," so it is not quite new to me. I just came up with three ideas about how it can be applied in my case. I'll try it all. It will be harder without a support group.

Again, it is a fantastic book, and I would recommend it to anybody with eating disorders who still searches for answers.

[KB · Rating 3 out of 5]

I skimmed through this book back in February, then in July when I was putting it in a box of books to give away, I looked through it again and added a star. Some quotes that stood out to me this time:

End of Part One, p. 126: "Hunger is so focused on what it is not getting and on its own definition of love and fulfillment that it often misses the very nourishment it is crying for".

Beginning of Part Two, p. 127: "Nourishment is specific; what nourishes you in one situation may not nourish you in another. Nourishment is personal; what nourishes another may not nourish you." etc.

"Breaking Free" p. 159: "We want to change in order to love ourselves, but we've got to love ourselves in order to change." - A Breaking Free workshop participant
This is a great prelude to the story that the author tells about what she said to some schmuck named Michael that she was dating at the time.

Other fave parts: "The Double-Edged Gift" story about Thelma and Bernie by Rita Garitano. Also "The Real Difference Between the Fatties and Thinnies" by Barbara Florio Graham.

So, upon revisiting this book, I can see why someone said in her review that this is a good book to pick up if/when food issues and/or unhealthy eating habits arise. It is a reminder to be mindful about how you feel, to treat yourself with kindness, and that you are not alone in any of these endeavors.

[E J · Rating 2 out of 5]

The presentation of this as an audiobook was charming because it was a live recording of the workshop so you could hear the audience laughing etc.
however the long visualisation exercises were unexpected to me and I ended up skipping them.
There are some v bizarre claims in this like if I heard correctly she says there was a study in which a group of many religious people from different backgrounds were asked to pray for 200 patients and there was a second group not being prayed for, but the pray-ers didn’t know whxih group they were praying for and the patients didn’t know whether they were part of the the group being prayed for. The group that was prayed for had better recovery rates or something. This is used as an example of the benefits of reaching out for help. But ... if they didn’t know they were being prayed for what does this prove?
If somebody’s read this also and wants to correct me please go ahead but that’s how I heard it and it majorly undermined the experience for me.
Also there are parts where women speak into the microphone and hearing them share deeply personal stories felt way too intimate, even though it was anonymous.

[Eli Rigatuso · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was randomly suggested to me by my significant other. So incredibly grateful they recommended it as it came just at a time when I needed it most. I related to so much of what was shared on a cellular level.

The book is an older book but so much of it was applicable to my experience of being in the throws of an eating disorder and what was truly lacking for me. I have been starving myself of love, affection, and connection and almost literally eating my face off.

I knew something needed to change and fast and thankfully reading this book led me to getting additional support to heal the decades of trauma I had yet to heal.

Forever grateful to my partner for sharing their wisdom and listening to that inner voice which led me to this book. Also grateful to Geneen Roth for her generous sharing of herself and those she has worked with in overcoming their compulsive eating.

This book is worth the read for anyone dealing with an eating disorder and seeking relief.

[Lys Lauer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’d heard recommendations on this book for a long while for those who struggle with compulsive eating as well as those who struggle to love themselves and their body but may not compulsively eat. As a person who doesn’t compulsively eat but came out of the early 2000’s with a warped body image - this book was an incredible encouragement. Positive body image is not always about grinding hard to shed the pounds. It is about loving your body and using that love to motivate you into experiencing your own life no matter your size. That love also creates better habits and see that the journey is long and never ending but it’s filled with loving yourself.

[Ed · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author's premise is our bodies already know what to eat so we should not be afraid to let it have what it thinks it wants, ie eat anything you want. Because eventually your body will realize that it doesn't like the bad stuff but only the good stuff and it will regulate it self. She has a number of guidelines to follow such as eating at the table and such. However, it seems hooky to me. Maybe I don't understand her philosophy on weight control but I'm not sure my body would ever realize it doesn't like donuts and milk before I keel over from a heart attack.

[Courtney Gorden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cried like a baby during her visualizations. I did listen to this as an audiobook and it was a recording of her workshops. I loved it. I took a lot of things away like how happiness is an internal state and not based on external conditions. I learned about experiences many of my clients may have gone through that I wasn’t aware of. I learned about myself as a child. I learned how food soothes pains from the past. I learned how to heal. I learned better how to guide others in their journey. Highly recommend!

[Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as good as Women, Food, and God, but still an interesting read and reminder of Geneen Roth’s ideas (food and dieting as a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and our lives AND a way to distract ourselves from what REALLY matters). Don’t be deterred by the title - it’s not really even about food, or at least that’s not what it felt about to me, but more about how we see, feel about, and treat ourselves and how we should get curious about those things and pay closer attention.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen to this via audio so it was hard to stop and soak it in sometimes, so I started it again as soon as I had finished. And I'm getting more absorbing it on a deeper level the second time around. Geneen ,geneen geneen... thanks for your work. If you have ever eaten to fill feelings, then you will like Geneen Roth.

[TroTro · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unbelievably depressing. I don't usually read books that fall under the self-help genre. On the plus side (no pun intended), it did make me feel a bit better about myself. I don't have as serious a problem as some others, for whatever that's worth.

[Sammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw so much of myself in the stories these women shared. And I find so much hope in Geneen's words and insights. I finally have hope for myself that I can grow and emerge triumphant against my struggles with my eating disorders.

[claire marcotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

it doesn't give any real tips or anything but if ur looking for an easy read on some people's experiences then this is the book for u. 3.5 tbh

[Mary Lou · Rating 3 out of 5]

Same story and message that she has explored before. Nice review.

[Lenny Husen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another must read--this book helped me recover. If I have to choose the top 5 books that helped me the most, this would be on that list.

[Jennifer Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

Geneen's voice in this is wonderful. The focus, though, is much more about other women's stories.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read all her books. They were all important, insightful and helpful.

[Sheila Forman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A classic - a must-read for anyone struggling with emotional eating.

[Bianca Kaczor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really helped me with my disordered eating. Highly recommend!

[Librosconkylie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not really sure how to rate this or even review, for that matter. It was ok. Some I agreed with, and some I disagreed with.

[Chazz Glaze · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little dated and I wasn't expecting the contribution of multiple writers in varied genres & voices, but once I got into it for what it is, I uncovered many gems.

[clover. · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5