Howard: Hello, Seb, nice to see you. You look good, have you been working out?
Seb: No, man, just fasting. 10 pounds lost this month.
Howard: That's really good. Eating healthy too?
Seb: Yeah, it's a long term process. Man, I just got through your book of interviews, it's nice to be here where they all happened.
Howard: Yeah? You read all of it? All 500 pages of it?
Seb: No, not really. Just a third or something, just what I felt could be interesting.
Howard: Like what? Trump?
Seb: God, no. I can't be bothered with his shit anymore. I can say "shit", right?
Howard: Yeah, it's satellite. No censorship, no commercials. So what, you're done with politics?
Seb: I still follow it, I just can't stand them, Trump especially. You know, all the "bigly" claims and his covfefe bullshit. Sure, in the book it's stuff from 20 years ago, but it's the same boastful clown talking.
Howard: Did you read the comedian stuff then?
Seb: Yeah. I loved Colbert, Conan, Jon Stewart, Steve Martin. That's the good stuff. Again, they're just interviews, how much can you really get from them, they're mostly putting up an act anyway.
Howard: You're killing me, Seb. This is my livelihood, man!
Seb: I know, I know. Look, it's like... I don't care what Rosie O'Donnell, Dave Grohl or Lady Gaga have to say. I'm sure there are nice stories there, but it's like with the YouTube video essays. You enjoy them for 10 minutes and then you're left with almost nothing at the end. It's the same with this celebrity culture and obsession with interviews and "takes". They're just there to promote crap and get attention.
Howard: Listen, I get that, but you are a bit harsh. People love these things.
Seb: Maybe. To be honest, I am a bit pretentious. And I wanted to end the book quicker to get to some Elena Ferrante books I just bought. I do appreciate all the work you put in, you know, it can't be easy to get someone to open up like that on air.
Howard: Well thanks. So what did you like about the comedian interviews?
Seb: I just related to them more. All the self-doubt, sweat and sleepless nights that go into good comedy. And it was interesting to find out some background on their lives. I empathised with them, you know. But I can't relate to Ozzy's drug stories or McCartney's... whatever. Yeah, you see? I read 30 pages of what a Beatle had to say and two days later I remember nothing.
Howard: Right. Look, we have to cut to commercials.
Seb: Wait, what!?