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240 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 1984
Old Mr. Dobbs took the wraps off his English History course the last two weeks before finals and gave his students enough details about the Regency Period to arouse a burning love for scatology in the breasts of students who had never cared for history at all. He also gave the class a blanket "A." He was promptly suspended for conduct unbecoming a teacher and went chortling into retirement.
"I've been wanting to do that for thirty years," he chuckled as he made his way through a crowd of admiring students after his last session with the School Board. "For thirty years I've taught emasculated pap for children and I finally got tired of it. This time I gave them the facts."
"What do you intend to do now?" a reporter asked. "The Board can't allow you to continue teaching. They've got you labeled as a menace to society. In Socrates' time they'd have fed you a hemlock cocktail."
"I couldn't care less," Dodds said. "It makes no difference what they do. I'm six months past retirement, so they can't take away my pension. That was my last class. I stayed on only because I was asked." Mr. Dodds chuckled. "I guess I have finally become too old to be worried about anything. I was tired of distorting the truth. Put it down to senile dementia if you wish."
"Your diagnosis may be correct," the reporter said, "but I doubt it."
"You may be right," Dodds replied. "That might have been the only sane act of my entire life." ["Tween" by J.F. Bone, p. 159, 0060201673:]