Confessions of a Dork

Confessions of a Dork Lord #1

by Michael Johnston

Despicable Me meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid in this hilarious illustrated middle grade adventure that follows a hapless warlock-in-training as he struggles to live up to his great and terrible destiny.

Meet Wick. He's the son of the Dark Lord, heir to the throne of black and broken glass, and next in line to be the leader of the Grim World. Too bad he's stuck in Remedial Spell Casting (he can barely even cast the fart-revealer spell), he's allergic to fire and brimstone, and the bullies at school insist on calling him Dork Lord.

Full of humor, hijinks, and lively illustrations, Confessions of a Dork Lord follows Wick through the pages of his journal as he comes up with a genius plan to defeat his foes, achieve greatness . . . and survive Middle Ages School.

"I loved every page, and your kid will too!" --Melissa de la Cruz, bestselling author of the Descendants series

"It's not easy being bad. But this book will give you a head start." --Pseudonymous Bosch, bestselling author of the Secret series

"Hilarious! Not to be missed!" --Eoin Colfer, bestselling author of the Artemis Fowl series

Genres: Fantasy, Middle Grade, Humor, Fiction, Childrens, Juvenile, Audiobook

352 pages, Hardcover

First published January 28, 2020

About the author

Michael Johnston was born in 1973 in Cleveland, Ohio. As a child and a teen he was an avid reader of science fiction and fantasy. He studied architecture and ancient history at Lehigh University and during a lecture on the history of ancient Egypt, the seed of an idea was born. He earned a master’s degree in architecture from Columbia University, graduating at the top of his class. Michael worked as an architect in New York City before moving to Los Angeles. Sparked by the change of locale, a visit to the desert, and his growing dissatisfaction with the architectural industry, he sought a way to merge his interests in architecture and history with his love of fantasy. By day he worked as an architect, but by night he wrote and researched an epic fantasy novel inspired by the history of ancient Egypt and the tragic story of King Lear. After working this way for several years, he shut down his successful architecture practice and resolved to write full time. He now lives and writes in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter.

You can find Michael on twitter @mjohnstonauthor

Reviews

[Adysnewbox · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Confessions of a Dork Lord" is pretty cute...and I don't have a whole lot more to say about it. It's a fantasy book (a genre I usually enjoy), but it's also a tween/middle-grade book clearly written for much younger people than myself, so I struggled to stay interested at times. The world, its characters, and the plot are all very thinly detailed, and there is a lot of focus on the awkwardness of early adolescence. Which is FINE, if that's what you're in the mood for. But it left me, more often than not, bored.

In both structure and style, "Dork Lord" is basically "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" by way of Dungeon and Dragons. Our hero Wick, the son of the most recent Dark Lord (who was vanquished a decade ago), is a short, untalented warlock who is desperate to prove himself and take his father's place as leader of the grim folk (consisting of goblins, orcs, trolls, witches, warlocks, frost giants, & more). However, this is of course easier said than done, as a series of misadventures proves. Wick has a few friends who aren't terribly menacing, and an orc general who's been acting as his mentor; he still has to contend with bullies at school, an annual celebration that takes a bad turn, and his own feelings of insecurity. Things happen, then more things happen, then...eventually it ends. The climax (such as it is) is fairly underwhelming, but there are definitely a handful of fun scenes along the way. Author Michael Johnston has created a fun fantasy world (albeit very simplistic) for his characters to go crazy in, and I like Wick's character concept. But the plot was basically a bunch of scenes strung together, and the "diary" concept was only fitfully successful in narrating the tale. I assume there will be more in this series (it's certainly left open that possibility); now it remains to be seen if there is enough of an overlap in readership between deprecating school-age comedy and youth fantasy lit to make this book a success.

[Cindy Mitchell *Kiss the Book* · Rating 3 out of 5]

Confessions of a Dork Lord by Mike Johnston. 338 pages. Putnam (Penguin Random House), 2020, $14.

Language: G (0 swears); Mature Content: G; Violence G

BUYING ADVISORY: EL, MS - OPTIONAL

AUDIENCE APPEAL: AVERAGE

Wick is the twelve year-old son of the Dark Lord, and heir to the throne of black and broken glass. Unfortunately for him, his parents have vanished some time ago, and he is living with General Gareth Gorey, an intimidating Orc commanding the Orc legions. Wick is stuck in Middle Ages School practicing remedial spells and has no respect from his peers, since his best spell is the fart revealer. Wick’s goal is to figure out how to become the next Dark Lord but the bullies at school call him the Dork Lord.

There is a lot of humor in this book. Wick seems a little like the self-serving Greg Heffley in Diary of a Wimpy Kid. The illustrations are fun, but at 338 pages, it seemed long, and there were a lot of references to turds and farts. There weren’t a lot of surprises. The book ends satisfactorily, but sets itself up for a sequel. If your jive is medieval middle schoolers who have a dragon with halitosis for a friend, this book is for you.

Michelle in the Middle
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2020...

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw the author at the North Texas Teen Book Festival in a couple of panels. He made me laugh so I bought his book even though I'm not part of his target age group for the book. He autographed my book, too.

I enjoyed the book but, again, I'm not the target age group. I'm trying to break my students of fart jokes, etc. and here he is reinforcing them! Argh! On the other hand, my nephews, cute little nerds-in-training that they are will probably enjoy this book much more than me.

I like the premise which deals with the children and families of the evil warlords, etc. I like that this book exposes kids to the idea of the anti-hero.. I think this book would be an interesting introduction to Harry Potter. The art is adorable.

[Marshall Clowers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our 10 year old and I read this together, for a 10 tear old, this story works pretty well. It's the initial book of a "hero's journey" series. As a 53 year old... I've seen and read similar stories many times. So I'm basing the rating on her response to it, and not mine. In short, I am not the target audience :)

She loved it, once she got past the midway point I had to get her to stop long enough to eat dinner. Considering the kid really doesn't like to read, I consider this a winner. I had to help her with some pronunciation of one of the professors names, and that's pretty much all the help she needed.

I don't know if this is a tipping point for us to get her to 'enjoy' reading, but it's the easiest so far.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a hard time with this one, and put it away for a while. The second half was better when he finally starts on his quest, and stops complaining and feeling sorry for himself. I read an ARC, and I didn't care for the illustrator style of art. But I think kids will like the story.

[Justin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars. This was cute and fun, but I feel like these could have been more. I wanted more laughs and witty banter. I wanted to feel like the characters were in actual danger. Overall it was fun, but it could have done so much more.

[Camille Caliman · Rating 4 out of 5]

*4.5
It took me quite a long time to finish this book, but it was a largely enjoyable read. I'd say it was darn near perfect. The only thing I didn't really like was Storey. After she came in, I got pretty annoyed by her and it sort of made it hard to read. However, I loved everything else! I love Wick and Oggy and all the odd teachers at Nightshadows. I loved all the adventures and just Wick's commentary is the best. Definitely recommend.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty, creative, and fantastic! Those who enjoy Diary of a Wimpy Kid will find it funny and fantasy lovers will enjoy the characters and Dark Realm.
*It is rather long so I wouldn't recommend to reluctant readers.

[Mills College Library]

Fiction J731c 2020

[Xavier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book

[Rob Dalgliesh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun And Engaging

I found this book very fun to read. And as a picky reader, That is no small feat. Definitely recommend.

[Sarah Sunshine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book filled with kid humor.

[Kayden]

DNF

[Angelika · Rating 3 out of 5]

diary style, funny, some illustrations - son of dark lord tries to survive middle ages school and save the realm.

[Milan Mitchell · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is not as good as the cover is the fiat page is not that attaching as it supposed to be as you read on you start to get bored because the lack of fiction.

[Gracie Quinlan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hat to read this for a school book report which made it annoying.

[Joshua Waldrop · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book ever! Very funny. Highly recommend.

[TheReader · Rating 1 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook. 95% of this story was introspection 90% of which was the kid going “i’m supposed to be the son of the awesome dark lord but i am not living up to it”