What do you think?
Rate this book
Silent Sisters
A deadly secret.
A horrifying discovery.
For over 20 years, Joanne Lee's mother kept the remains of not one, but three newborn babies hidden in a bin in her wardrobe.
She had buried a fourth baby in newspaper and rags in St Helens Cemetery.
For the first time since exposing her mother's crimes, Joanne breaks her silence over her family's horrific ordeal and her fight for justice for the siblings she never knew.
Growing up in chaotic circumstances on Merseyside, Joanne suffered at the hands of a violent boyfriend and controlling relatives, as her mother lapsed into a downward spiral of drinking and casual sex following the break-up of her marriage. But the consequences of her mother's messy lifestyle turned out to be far worse than Joanne could ever have imagined.
She already knew about the baby buried in a shallow makeshift grave next to the family plot. But when Joanne came across a red plastic bin in her mother's wardrobe in 2009, she realised that the family home held an even more sinister secret.
In Silent Sisters, the daughter who was falsely accused of murdering her own baby sister will tell her full story for the first time, detailing her struggle to understand her mother, to piece together the truth and to give the four babies the proper burial they deserve.
A horrifying discovery.
For over 20 years, Joanne Lee's mother kept the remains of not one, but three newborn babies hidden in a bin in her wardrobe.
She had buried a fourth baby in newspaper and rags in St Helens Cemetery.
For the first time since exposing her mother's crimes, Joanne breaks her silence over her family's horrific ordeal and her fight for justice for the siblings she never knew.
Growing up in chaotic circumstances on Merseyside, Joanne suffered at the hands of a violent boyfriend and controlling relatives, as her mother lapsed into a downward spiral of drinking and casual sex following the break-up of her marriage. But the consequences of her mother's messy lifestyle turned out to be far worse than Joanne could ever have imagined.
She already knew about the baby buried in a shallow makeshift grave next to the family plot. But when Joanne came across a red plastic bin in her mother's wardrobe in 2009, she realised that the family home held an even more sinister secret.
In Silent Sisters, the daughter who was falsely accused of murdering her own baby sister will tell her full story for the first time, detailing her struggle to understand her mother, to piece together the truth and to give the four babies the proper burial they deserve.
205 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 18, 2019
655 people are currently reading
7714 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 555 reviews
March 28, 2019
Written by Joanne Lee, she tells about her life as a young girl growing up and feeling ignored by her really dysfunctional mom in Merseyside. She’s ignored, left to raise herself after her parent’s divorce when her mom dives into dating and starts having kids that she then puts on this young girl to take care of while mom just drinks and watches “telly”. Joanne eventually begins missing a lot of school because she’s too busy doing all of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and childcare for her mother’s growing brood. When she gets a bit older, her mom begins inviting over young guys her daughter’s age at night to party with, telling her that she needs to have some fun too. But that was more for the mom’s benefit. It’s a bizarre yet fascinating story and it keeps on getting crazier. You wonder how much someone can put up with. It kind of has to be read to be believed at times as the daughters get older. I try not to read much of the info from the description or jacket before I read books, so some of them really come as a quite a surprise as I’m reading them, as this one did. I had a lot of empathy for Joanne and what she went through. Especially what happened later with the dead babies, which I’m not going into here. Get the book and read it if you’re interested in this unusual story. My thanks for the advance electronic copy that was provided by NetGalley, author Joanne Lee, and Mirror Books
April 10, 2019
3.5⭐️ rounded up to 4
For over twenty years, Joanne Lee's mother kept the remains of three newborn babies hidden in a bin in her wardrobe. She had buried a fourth baby in newspaper and rags in St. Helens Cemetery. For the first time since exposing her mother's crimes, Joanne breaks her silence over her family's horrific ordeal and her fight for the siblings she never knew.
It's hard to believe when your reading this book that it's an actual true crime book. You could easily forget and put it down to the authors vivid imagination as some of the events that take place are quite shocking. Joanne is living with both her parents when the story starts but then her parents split up and Joanne then lives with her mother, Bernadette. But then Bernadette gets a new man, Karl, in her life and for a while family life is near perfect again. Bernadette has a string of boyfriends and she even has an affair with one of Joanne's boyfriends. From a young age Joanne has to learn how to keep house while taking care of her younger siblings. This is quite a shocking and heartbreaking story to read.
I would like to thank NetGalley, Mirror Books and the author Joanne Lee for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.
For over twenty years, Joanne Lee's mother kept the remains of three newborn babies hidden in a bin in her wardrobe. She had buried a fourth baby in newspaper and rags in St. Helens Cemetery. For the first time since exposing her mother's crimes, Joanne breaks her silence over her family's horrific ordeal and her fight for the siblings she never knew.
It's hard to believe when your reading this book that it's an actual true crime book. You could easily forget and put it down to the authors vivid imagination as some of the events that take place are quite shocking. Joanne is living with both her parents when the story starts but then her parents split up and Joanne then lives with her mother, Bernadette. But then Bernadette gets a new man, Karl, in her life and for a while family life is near perfect again. Bernadette has a string of boyfriends and she even has an affair with one of Joanne's boyfriends. From a young age Joanne has to learn how to keep house while taking care of her younger siblings. This is quite a shocking and heartbreaking story to read.
I would like to thank NetGalley, Mirror Books and the author Joanne Lee for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.
February 25, 2021
This is a hard one to review. On the one hand, it's well written and without a doubt, the author had a truly shitful upbringing, and writing this book couldn't have been easy but it's sold as a story about the mother and the deceased babies but the book is not about that at all. Sure, they form part of the backdrop but this book is the author's life story
"For the first time since exposing her mother's crimes, Joanne breaks her silence over her family's horrific ordeal and her fight for justice for the siblings she never knew."
It's misleading because 1. It's not the first time she's spoken about it. She went to the media first. 2. She really didn't fight for justice, she kept it secret/covered it up for YEARS and YEARS before the guilt became too much, and then she went to the police who acted immediately. 3. There was no justice, she stated multiple times she thought it was a good thing.
I feel like I might have enjoyed this book more if the blurb had been more honest, as it was I felt that the book was really slow to get started and then dragged on WAY too long, as the mother/babies portion of the story really only took up the middle quarter/third of the book at most and the rest is filled with the minutia of the author's life.
I wonder if anybody who proof read the book asked the author if this was really the way she wanted to present herself to the world? She comes across as lacking empathy and accountability, she blames everybody else for her own problems, including her failed relationships despite continuing to make the same mistakes repeatedly. At no point does anybody in the mother's life consider getting her help, and this is a family where one is a social worker, another works in the medical field. Even after going through court, there is no mention of it.
"For the first time since exposing her mother's crimes, Joanne breaks her silence over her family's horrific ordeal and her fight for justice for the siblings she never knew."
It's misleading because 1. It's not the first time she's spoken about it. She went to the media first. 2. She really didn't fight for justice, she kept it secret/covered it up for YEARS and YEARS before the guilt became too much, and then she went to the police who acted immediately. 3. There was no justice, she stated multiple times she thought it was a good thing.
I feel like I might have enjoyed this book more if the blurb had been more honest, as it was I felt that the book was really slow to get started and then dragged on WAY too long, as the mother/babies portion of the story really only took up the middle quarter/third of the book at most and the rest is filled with the minutia of the author's life.
I wonder if anybody who proof read the book asked the author if this was really the way she wanted to present herself to the world? She comes across as lacking empathy and accountability, she blames everybody else for her own problems, including her failed relationships despite continuing to make the same mistakes repeatedly. At no point does anybody in the mother's life consider getting her help, and this is a family where one is a social worker, another works in the medical field. Even after going through court, there is no mention of it.
March 28, 2019
Written by Joanne Lee, she tells about her life as a young girl growing up and feeling ignored by her really dysfunctional mom in Merseyside. She’s ignored, left to raise herself after her parent’s divorce when her mom dives into dating and starts having kids that she then puts on this young girl to take care of while mom just drinks and watches “telly”. Joanne eventually begins missing a lot of school because she’s too busy doing all of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and childcare for her mother’s growing brood.
When she gets a bit older, her mom begins inviting over young guys her daughter’s age at night to party with, telling her that she needs to have some fun too. But that was more for the mom’s benefit. It’s a bizarre yet fascinating story and it keeps on getting crazier. You wonder how much someone can put up with. It kind of has to be read to be believed at times as the daughters get older. I try not to read much of the info from the description or jacket before I read books, so some of them really come as a quite a surprise as I’m reading them, as this one did. I had a lot of empathy for Joanne and what she went through. Especially what happened later with the dead babies, which I’m not going into here. Get the book and read it if you’re interested in this unusual story. My thanks for the advance electronic copy that was provided by NetGalley, author Joanne Lee, and Mirror Books.
When she gets a bit older, her mom begins inviting over young guys her daughter’s age at night to party with, telling her that she needs to have some fun too. But that was more for the mom’s benefit. It’s a bizarre yet fascinating story and it keeps on getting crazier. You wonder how much someone can put up with. It kind of has to be read to be believed at times as the daughters get older. I try not to read much of the info from the description or jacket before I read books, so some of them really come as a quite a surprise as I’m reading them, as this one did. I had a lot of empathy for Joanne and what she went through. Especially what happened later with the dead babies, which I’m not going into here. Get the book and read it if you’re interested in this unusual story. My thanks for the advance electronic copy that was provided by NetGalley, author Joanne Lee, and Mirror Books.
Read
October 1, 2022I don't know how I could ever but a numbered rating on this but God... if you ever want to take a step back and feel grateful for your childhood and upbringing, pick this book up.
June 21, 2022
3.75 ⭐️ rounded up to 4
A devastatingly sad (horrific) true story of a young girl (growing into a women) against all odds. Her mother that sleeps around even with her own son-in-law! Has countless pregnancies yet Joanne believes she only has one brother and one sister…
A devastatingly sad (horrific) true story of a young girl (growing into a women) against all odds. Her mother that sleeps around even with her own son-in-law! Has countless pregnancies yet Joanne believes she only has one brother and one sister…
September 3, 2024
So disturbing, so sad. By the end of the book I felt heavy.
October 27, 2021
Joanne Lee had a deeply traumatising upbringing. Her early determination to succeed in life and be a better person and parent than her mother was evident throughout the book. I applaud Joanne for sharing her story and I hope she has found some inner peace in doing so.
The book is well written and easily connects with the reader. It is raw, honest and pretty confronting which makes the story so interesting. However, the book started off with a bang but felt a little drawn out towards the end. Despite of that, I thought this book was worth the read.
The book is well written and easily connects with the reader. It is raw, honest and pretty confronting which makes the story so interesting. However, the book started off with a bang but felt a little drawn out towards the end. Despite of that, I thought this book was worth the read.
April 30, 2020
I did not enjoy this book. It seemed like everyone was pregnant all the time - hard to keep track. Disappointing story.
May 13, 2019
Having just finished Silent Sisters, I am not sure if the book is about redemption, victimisation or lack of accountability as the book seems to look for acceptance from the masses. This is a true story that deals with the Merseyside mother who hid dead babies in her wardrobe for up to 20 years though the information is a bit sketchy on the length of time. Although the crime is a great tabloid story, there is a lot of holes in the story and it is basically a he said, she said scenario that lends itself to a lot of hearsay.
The book opens with Joanne’s look at her upbringing with a mother who is described as loose, unresponsive, alcoholic and unmotherly. Joanne is pushed from pillar to post with a father who comes across as not being very present. It seems like shared custody was not on the cards or thought about. We get one third of the book of Joanne being miserable because of her circumstances which is acceptable but then we start the repeating history phase of her life where she starts repeating the past of her mother.
She is particularly hard on her grandmothers one who is kind and the other who seemed to step out of a Shirley Temple film with her hard edges and wicked ways. At times, these passages come across as a person who really doesn’t reflect on the situation as a whole. The book is basically told from the point of view as Joanne is the victim in everything from her parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers, and partners and from her own decisions. This could be from the tone of the book but she doesn’t really accept any responsibility for her actions or her decisions. The book tends to place her in the middle of a life that she has no say even though it is stressed who strong willed she is.
The crime is very sad and though one shakes their heads at the thought of four dead possibly stillborn, maybe not babies being stored in canvas bags and a red pail, one has to wonder about the mother who put them there. This is where the story takes a sad downward turn as there is an apparently s mentally ill mother who has a mother with a medical career and a sister who is a social worker and not one person thought this woman could use some kind of intervention.
Joanne’s story is heart breaking and I am sure that most of the story’s tone is lacking in empathy. Some serious questions do get raised as mentioned above and all through the court case, we really do not get any answers. The facts are shady, we have a distraught daughter whom made a bad decision with the first dead baby and admittedly knew she did wrong but never thought to find her mother help. The court case happens and the mother stays with the social worker sister, hiding from the world and still no psychiatric help. Her court fiasco still did not give her any psychiatric care.
As the sordid story comes to a close we are left with Joanne in a failed relationship but with an upturn as she has done a world of good for the deaf and is an institution to her accomplishments and my hats are off to her.
Overall, the tone of the book could have been handled a bit better and handled with a bit more empathy. Bernie was atrocious human being who really shouldn’t have had children due to her many psychiatric problems which are never addressed. The social services let down Joanne and her sister and brothers. She conquered all odds to raise well adjusted children and was able to break the cycle but questions are still left unanswered about who Bernie is handled as person who needs help. Through her alcoholism, psychiatric breaks, bipolar tendencies we are left with a story about the lack of professional help when it incurs within the UK. Interesting story and does have its merits but at times, the reader is left with a lot more questions than answers.
It is possible that maybe the journalists involved with the overall editing could have done a better job for Joanne and had the means to provide a story that is let down by its tone in general.
The book opens with Joanne’s look at her upbringing with a mother who is described as loose, unresponsive, alcoholic and unmotherly. Joanne is pushed from pillar to post with a father who comes across as not being very present. It seems like shared custody was not on the cards or thought about. We get one third of the book of Joanne being miserable because of her circumstances which is acceptable but then we start the repeating history phase of her life where she starts repeating the past of her mother.
She is particularly hard on her grandmothers one who is kind and the other who seemed to step out of a Shirley Temple film with her hard edges and wicked ways. At times, these passages come across as a person who really doesn’t reflect on the situation as a whole. The book is basically told from the point of view as Joanne is the victim in everything from her parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers, and partners and from her own decisions. This could be from the tone of the book but she doesn’t really accept any responsibility for her actions or her decisions. The book tends to place her in the middle of a life that she has no say even though it is stressed who strong willed she is.
The crime is very sad and though one shakes their heads at the thought of four dead possibly stillborn, maybe not babies being stored in canvas bags and a red pail, one has to wonder about the mother who put them there. This is where the story takes a sad downward turn as there is an apparently s mentally ill mother who has a mother with a medical career and a sister who is a social worker and not one person thought this woman could use some kind of intervention.
Joanne’s story is heart breaking and I am sure that most of the story’s tone is lacking in empathy. Some serious questions do get raised as mentioned above and all through the court case, we really do not get any answers. The facts are shady, we have a distraught daughter whom made a bad decision with the first dead baby and admittedly knew she did wrong but never thought to find her mother help. The court case happens and the mother stays with the social worker sister, hiding from the world and still no psychiatric help. Her court fiasco still did not give her any psychiatric care.
As the sordid story comes to a close we are left with Joanne in a failed relationship but with an upturn as she has done a world of good for the deaf and is an institution to her accomplishments and my hats are off to her.
Overall, the tone of the book could have been handled a bit better and handled with a bit more empathy. Bernie was atrocious human being who really shouldn’t have had children due to her many psychiatric problems which are never addressed. The social services let down Joanne and her sister and brothers. She conquered all odds to raise well adjusted children and was able to break the cycle but questions are still left unanswered about who Bernie is handled as person who needs help. Through her alcoholism, psychiatric breaks, bipolar tendencies we are left with a story about the lack of professional help when it incurs within the UK. Interesting story and does have its merits but at times, the reader is left with a lot more questions than answers.
It is possible that maybe the journalists involved with the overall editing could have done a better job for Joanne and had the means to provide a story that is let down by its tone in general.
January 10, 2021
Joanne thank you for sharing your story! You are amazing, strong, selfless woman. I enjoyed every detail of this book. I wish you and your family nothing but love and happiness!
April 4, 2019
As soon as I saw the cover of this book, I felt drawn to it. The tattered, battered looking door that the child is cautiously looking outwards. It is very striking the small blonde haired, blue eyed image of innocence. Seriously the eyes of the child on the front cover seemed to grab my attention and I just couldn’t flick by it. I then read the byline of “A Daughters Horrifying Discovery. . . . A Mothers Secret Shame” and was curious as to what a mother could feel shame about when her daughter found out. What on earth horrified the daughter.
Then reading the blurb I felt I had to, wanted to listen/read this woman's side of the story of what had happened "behind closed doors" to her and her family. The genre’s listed for this book are Biographies, Memoir and True Crime which I do agree with. Yet after finishing reading the book and finding out what happens to the “mother” in the book can it really be categorised as crime?
This book is an account of Joanne Lee’s life with her mother Bernadette.
Bernadette definitely doesn’t come across as mother of the year in the book, in fact far from it. It makes you wonder why this woman kept continually allowing herself to get pregnant over and over again. There would have been plenty of contraceptive options around for her. Or was it purely a case of what seems to be her favourite saying within the book, “Can’t be arsed”.
Everything seems okay at the beginning of this book, Joanne lives in a house with her mother Bernadette and her father Michael. Things weren’t great between her parents but the first time Joanne seems to really notice is when aged six, she receives separate presents from her parents and ends up receiving exactly the same gift from them both.
The first big change is when her mum announces they are going to visit Nanny Pat. Nanny Pat is a very stern, strict woman, who has everything in its place and a lace for everything. Everything also had to appear prim and proper. It’s at the visit that Joanne senses something “big” is about to happen or be revealed as she is actually allowed to go sit on the couch in Nanny Pat’s pristine front room, normally reserved for the Priest when he comes calling. It’s while she is sat literally on the edge of her seat that her mother Bernadette, states that she and her dad, Michael are getting divorced. Sadly, the most dreaded difference Joanne anticipates is living with Nanny Pat. Whilst living at Nanny Pat’s Joanne is ironically the best cared for throughout the whole of her childhood. Poor Joanne is bitten by Nanny Pat’s beloved dog and really needs hospital care, which as Nanny Pat and Bernadette work there you would think they would just dash there with her, but no. Going to the hospital would mean explaining what had happened people would be wanting to know How? Why? Where? Everything had happened. Nanny Pat wanted to retain her pristine image and the neighbours finding out Joanne had been bitten by the family dog would wreck that. So, Bernadette holds Joanne down whilst Nanny Pat stitches the wound!
Bernadette soon has a new house and bloke, Karl, to go with it. Things are quite good for Joanne as Karl buys groceries once a week and helps keep things tidy. But the small glimpses of a better family life never ever last and Joanne knows this in her heart. Joanne is left to fend for herself from a very young age, her mum has multiple boyfriends. She had to learn how to cook herself a meal, wash and iron her clothes as well as care for her younger siblings, Cath & Chris. Bernadette would rather drink, in fact when she wasn’t at work, she was sat at home drinking.
Joanne meets her own boyfriend Mark and becomes pregnant at a young age just like her mother did. Sadly, a happy little family is not to be for Joanne when her son dies. It soon becomes apparent that whilst leaving her mother behind and getting a home of her own, she has also saddled herself with a male version of her mother in Mark.
I could go on and on and into much more detail about this book, but I feel I would “spoil” the reading experience so will not say much more about the plot. The book goes on to tell about how a baby is found in Bernadette’s wardrobe, contained in a red bin.
After losing a child of her own, and holding that baby in her arms, Joanne takes it upon herself to bury this baby from the red bin at the family grave at the local cemetery. Which she calmly does in broad daylight and then Bernadette just never ever mentions it again. Only Joanne thinks of when/what the babies, milestones would be. Joanne can never forget what she has done and lives in fear of being found out, put in prison and having to leave her own children motherless. Despite being let down time and time again Joanne gives both her mother and her own partner Mark chance after chance It is Joanne’s younger sister whom Joanne has been like a mother to that tells Joanne of the appearance of the “red bucket” again. This time Joanne has had enough and she cannot stay quiet or risk attempting to bury the contents of the red bin. Joanne confides in childhood friend Julie and then Julie’s mum. It was Julie’s mum that would make sure Joanne had something to eat for breakfast and clothes to wear for school, so she trusts them both.
There were many times in the book when I was thinking “oh, no Joanne” “not again Joanne” “how can you still help her”. You feel a whole range of emotions, anger at how Joanne is, treat by her mother Bernadette, her Nanny Pat, Mark and then finally Tom. The only light this child had in her life was her father’s parents, Nanny Edith & Grandad John, who were both deaf and communicated with Joanne via sign language. It is later in life when Joanne has a child who is deaf, some would say “something else for Joanne to cope with”. Joanne doesn’t see it that way, she sees her son as a special gift from her Nanny Edith.
Some readers may remember the newspaper coverage and the TV coverage of this case. I sort of vaguely remembered some of the stories I had read as I worked my way through this book. The book is thought provoking and pulls you through a huge range of emotions. The book is well written, very matter of fact about what happened and why. Joanne does not feel sorry for herself nor does she rely on others to help her in life, she quite literally rolls up her sleeves and gets on with it. She hasn't written this book for sympathy, or fame, she has wrote it to tell her story, the story of her siblings.
My final thoughts and words about the book and Joanne are they are both amazing, and yes as the byline says the story Joanne tells is horrifying and yet equally heart-breaking & heart-warming too.
July 8, 2019
This deeply disturbing memoir starts in 1998, with an account of Joanne Lee digging an eighteen-inch deep hole, with her bare hands, in the family grave in order to bury the body of a baby girl which she and her sister Cath had discovered stuffed into a red bin in her mother’s wardrobe. Bernadette, having concealed her pregnancy, claimed that the child had been stillborn and that she hadn’t known what to do. Joanne felt torn: having recently buried her own baby son she knew that her dead sister had a right to a proper funeral, yet she knew her mother would get into trouble for concealing the death and wanted to protect her. So, even though she knew it was wrong, she reluctantly suggested this illegal interment in the family grave. It wouldn’t be until 2008 that she would discover that Bernadette had also kept the remains of three more dead babies, born between 1986 and 1997: one was discovered in the same red bin and the other two in a canvas holdall. What the family had seen as the effects of Bernadette’s yo-yo dieting over the years had, in fact, been concealed pregnancies. With her mother initially denying all knowledge of the bodies, Joanne was arrested on suspicion of murder but, once the facts emerged, her mother eventually stood trial. However, because forensic examinations were unable to determine whether any of the babies had been born alive, she was charged only with the concealment of their births and deaths.
The background to these horrors is exposed through Joanne Lee’s account of her childhood experiences growing up in almost unimaginable squalor in a dysfunctional, filthy, chaotic home, seeing and experiencing things no young child should ever be exposed to. When the police searched the house in 2008, they discovered animal faeces scattered around the place, swarms of maggots, bin bags piled up from the floor to the ceiling, and even stinking, years-old nappies matted into the carpet. To describe her mother as inadequate is a huge understatement. Although she wasn’t physically abusive, she showed absolutely no interest in her daughter, leaving her to fend for herself from a very young age. Bernadette’s favourite expression “I can’t be arsed” captures the essence of this woman’s approach to life. Unable to cope any longer with his wife’s slovenly behaviour, Joanne’s father left when she was six and her mother’s drinking and promiscuous behaviour then accelerated. The arrival of a new partner, Karl, resulted in the birth of a half-sister, Cath, when Joanne was ten, followed just over a year later by the birth of a half-brother, Chris. She adored her siblings, which was fortunate because, with her mother showing as little interest in them as she did her eldest child, Joanne assumed almost total responsibility for their care.
Even as a child Joanne recognised that her life wasn’t normal and that she shouldn’t have to take on all this responsibility but, as with so many abused children, she felt a fierce, unshakeable loyalty to her mother. As it soon became apparent from her reflections on her life, as an adult she struggled with the many dilemmas this almost unquestioning support and protection of her mother faced her with. Over and over again she either tolerated, or ignored, behaviour which she knew was unacceptable until, finally, she could no longer live with the consequences of turning a blind eye and made a decision which would set in motion the police investigation.
Joanne’s childhood experiences were almost indescribably awful but what became clear was that Joanne, against all the odds, was able to break the cycle of abuse and provide her own children with a stable, loving background. Her capacity for doing this was undoubtably nurtured, in part, by her very loving, profoundly deaf paternal grandparents who provided glimpses that family life could (and should) be loving and supportive. Nevertheless, throughout this harrowing story I had to stop myself from being critical of the adult Joanne for being so tolerant, for so long, and to remind myself of the adage that we should never judge anyone until we have “walked a mile in their shoes”. It was easier to feel openly critical of the levels of denial which were central to the reactions of members of Bernadette’s family, two of whom were in the “caring” professions. Her mother, Nanny Pat, was a nursing officer but appeared to be someone whose main concern was to present a highly respectable front to the world, and her sister was a social worker who took no steps to intervene and stop the dreadful neglect, of which she appeared to be fully aware. However, above all, what I found both appalling and inexcusable is that for so many years, and with so much evidence of such serious neglect and squalor, there was no professional intervention by either social services, the family GP or the education department. Not only were all the children let down by the “system”, but it became clear from my reading that Bernadette had very obvious psychiatric problems which were never addressed, and for which she was never offered any help; these problems don’t excuse the level of her neglect but with the right help maybe she could have been helped to become a better parent.
I have to admit that most of the time I found it difficult to feel any emotional connection to Joanne and wonder whether this had something to do with the writing style, which I found rather flat and unemotional. I have no way of knowing how much this was a reflection of her, understandable, need to protect herself, and how much a reflection of the influence of Joe and Ann Cusack, the journalists who supported her writing of this memoir. As a result, I have found it difficult to review this deeply disturbing story because I fear that any criticism of style feels in danger of negating the horrors she experienced. However, I can feel admiration for her determination to create a good life for herself and her family, and to so effectively break the cycle of abuse. The issues her story raises would certainly provide some thought-provoking discussion topics for reading groups.
July 31, 2020
This is not a great work of literary genius and it doesn’t meet any of my typical criteria for a 5 star rating, but it deserves 5 stars for the courage it took to write it. I don’t even know if I would recommend it- it’s dark, unsettling, and tragically frustrating. I was uncomfortable reading it, hating to imagine Joanne Lee as a child, angry at all the adults in her life who let her, her siblings, and her mother down for so long. Some of these adults were good people, people who loved them, yet they just didn’t intervene. Lee’s mother clearly needed serious mental health treatment, but no one stepped in and said, “Enough.” I hated to consider what I would’ve done - I would hope I would have intervened but could I have chosen the same inaction if I were the mother’s sister or the neighbor? It’s a tough question to ask and created a tension that was good for me, but terribly uncomfortable.
Despite how horrifying and unsettling this was, I found myself missing Lee after and she has popped in my head multiple times since I finished it a few days ago. I wonder how she is now, if she is healthy and happy and continuing to live her life with joy. She has a lot of baggage in her life, and I’m sure struggles with so much, but she survived. She has love and joy. All is not perfect, but all is not lost. I pray she is well, and I won’t ever forget her.
Despite how horrifying and unsettling this was, I found myself missing Lee after and she has popped in my head multiple times since I finished it a few days ago. I wonder how she is now, if she is healthy and happy and continuing to live her life with joy. She has a lot of baggage in her life, and I’m sure struggles with so much, but she survived. She has love and joy. All is not perfect, but all is not lost. I pray she is well, and I won’t ever forget her.
April 20, 2019
Wow!!!
I live not far from St Helen's and I can not believe I never heard about this gruesome story.
What a life Joanne Lee had. Thank you for sharing your story.
I live not far from St Helen's and I can not believe I never heard about this gruesome story.
What a life Joanne Lee had. Thank you for sharing your story.
November 1, 2021
I chose this book with the intention of passing time during a couple longer drives. It’s appropriate to have finished the true story on Halloween because it’s an absolute horror.
Joanne, the assailants oldest child tells her version of her insane life events. Joanne is forced to overcome so much and most all of it is at the hands of her self-absorbed alcoholic mother. I feel like I should’ve rooted for her more throughout the stories retelling, but I simply did not. Maybe it’s easy for me to stand in judgment as I listen to someone else’s story that is so far removed from my own. I do believe Joanne did her best with the hand she was delt; however it’s just so hard to accept she didn’t do more. The retelling begins with Joanne recounting the burial of the first discovered dead baby. Joanne scooping dirt with her bare hands from the gravesite of another relative so she can lay her baby sister, Helen to rest.
A couple things really plagued me while listening. This story doesn’t take place a century ago. It takes place from the 1980’s up until just over a decade ago. Even under the veil of addiction and obvious other mental health issues how did a woman nearly get away with this in my lifetime. How did 4 pregnancy’s go unnoticed? How was she able to keep the body’s of four Babys in a bin in her home? This woman has other living children, parents, siblings…she even has lovers inside her home (I mean obviously, how else is she finding herself pregnant time and time again).
Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s loyalty to the only mother she’s ever known? Maybe. Mostly it’s just no accountability and absolute enabling. It’s completely heartbreaking.
Joanne, the assailants oldest child tells her version of her insane life events. Joanne is forced to overcome so much and most all of it is at the hands of her self-absorbed alcoholic mother. I feel like I should’ve rooted for her more throughout the stories retelling, but I simply did not. Maybe it’s easy for me to stand in judgment as I listen to someone else’s story that is so far removed from my own. I do believe Joanne did her best with the hand she was delt; however it’s just so hard to accept she didn’t do more. The retelling begins with Joanne recounting the burial of the first discovered dead baby. Joanne scooping dirt with her bare hands from the gravesite of another relative so she can lay her baby sister, Helen to rest.
A couple things really plagued me while listening. This story doesn’t take place a century ago. It takes place from the 1980’s up until just over a decade ago. Even under the veil of addiction and obvious other mental health issues how did a woman nearly get away with this in my lifetime. How did 4 pregnancy’s go unnoticed? How was she able to keep the body’s of four Babys in a bin in her home? This woman has other living children, parents, siblings…she even has lovers inside her home (I mean obviously, how else is she finding herself pregnant time and time again).
Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s loyalty to the only mother she’s ever known? Maybe. Mostly it’s just no accountability and absolute enabling. It’s completely heartbreaking.
April 8, 2019
JESUS CHRIST, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING, BUT IT WASN’T THIS! If any nonfiction book is to be made into a movie within the next year, PLEASE let it be this one. I absolutely ripped through the whole thing in under 12 hours, and during that time, I wasn’t able to put it down because I was so shocked and horrified that this is a REAL STORY from REAL LIFE. Good God. Joanne Lee’s story sounds like a nightmare straight out of a horror movie, but unfortunately, every word is true. She writes with such authenticity that it’s impossible for the reader’s heart to not break with each word, each new development as we see how Joanne’s mother lets her family down.
God. I know it’s dumb to talk about “spoilers” for nonfiction as if Google can’t answer everything for you, but just read the book. I’m shocked I didn’t know about this case until now. God.
God. I know it’s dumb to talk about “spoilers” for nonfiction as if Google can’t answer everything for you, but just read the book. I’m shocked I didn’t know about this case until now. God.
March 12, 2024
It was everything I could do to finish this book. I couldn't take the main characters' refusal to tell the truth about her mom. To just keep on taking more and more on as a child and young adult. The fact that every girl just kept getting pregnant with no mention of husbands or jobs. Poor England if all these people are on the"dole." The fact that it was perfectly wonderful for all these young unmarried women to constantly be having babies. This book is set in modern times, why doesn't anyone use birth control for God's sake.The mother made me sick. The grandmother made me sick. The main characters willingness to accept whatever treatment her mom and boyfriend handed out. Not my kind of story.
December 29, 2020
I tend to gravitate to fictional tales of murder mystery. I wish, however, this book was in the fictional genre, it is hard to swallow that it is a true story. While not graphic or gory, it is difficult to understand how someone could survive this type of childhood.
Joanne grew up in a house without maternal comfort or guidance. Her mom suffered from mental illness, so Joanne took on the parental role for her siblings and for her mother. Doomed to fix many of her mother’s horrific mistakes, Joanne had many emotional hurdles to overcome.
The book was well written and is well worth your time.
Joanne grew up in a house without maternal comfort or guidance. Her mom suffered from mental illness, so Joanne took on the parental role for her siblings and for her mother. Doomed to fix many of her mother’s horrific mistakes, Joanne had many emotional hurdles to overcome.
The book was well written and is well worth your time.
August 11, 2019
Silent Sisters by Joanne Lee
This is a true story that really grabs your heartstrings and gives a good tug. Well written and pretty quick reading. Thank you Netgalley and Mirrorbooks for a copy of this book and allowing me to leave my opinion.
This is a true story that really grabs your heartstrings and gives a good tug. Well written and pretty quick reading. Thank you Netgalley and Mirrorbooks for a copy of this book and allowing me to leave my opinion.
May 15, 2025
Oooph.
October 1, 2021
If this book was a novel most readers would consider it far fetched but it is a heart-felt and honest reflection on a life of depravity, deprivation, alcohol abuse, teenage pregnancies, possible infanticide, family breakdown and broken relationships, it is a heartbreaking story of a streetwise girl who carried the world on her young shoulders who at 15 walked in on her then boyfriend and her mother having sex. Joanne was a surrogate mother to her young brother and sisters, caring for them as best she could while her mother’s stock response to pleas for help was ‘I can’t be arsed’.
Her grandparents had an enormous effect on her life, her deaf paternal grandparents gave her some stability and love that was diametrically opposite to her sinister Catholic maternal grandmother who was hard and cruel.
She carried the guilt for many years for helping her mother dispose of the decomposed body of her baby sister Helen, it was not until later in her life that she discovered Helen was only one of four babies that her sex-crazed alcoholic mother had secretly given birth to, whether they were stillborn as her mother claimed or whether she killed or let them die of neglect we will probably never know.
Once you start this book it is very hard to put down, the story of Joanne’s life is full of emotion, sadness, anger and fear but one can only admire her resilience, ingenuity, work ethic and unconditional love of her sisters, their families and her own children, especially Alex who completely changed her life. How she has retained any semblance of sanity is testament to her own incredible character.
Her grandparents had an enormous effect on her life, her deaf paternal grandparents gave her some stability and love that was diametrically opposite to her sinister Catholic maternal grandmother who was hard and cruel.
She carried the guilt for many years for helping her mother dispose of the decomposed body of her baby sister Helen, it was not until later in her life that she discovered Helen was only one of four babies that her sex-crazed alcoholic mother had secretly given birth to, whether they were stillborn as her mother claimed or whether she killed or let them die of neglect we will probably never know.
Once you start this book it is very hard to put down, the story of Joanne’s life is full of emotion, sadness, anger and fear but one can only admire her resilience, ingenuity, work ethic and unconditional love of her sisters, their families and her own children, especially Alex who completely changed her life. How she has retained any semblance of sanity is testament to her own incredible character.
April 10, 2019
This was compelling and horrifying, reminiscent of The Glass Castle.
Joanne Lee was forced to grow up too fast by a negligent mother, sucked into raising her siblings when she was just a child herself, and set on a path that had her having her own child when she was still just a child. Her mother refused to do anything around the house, to interact beyond surface level with her children, or to provide for their basic needs. Leaving them instead to fend for themselves in squalor. That was only the beginning of the horror, though, that ended with multiple babies rotting in her bedroom, left for her daughter to figure out how to deal with - struggling between loyalty to a mother who did nothing for her, and and understanding of right and wrong and loyalty to her half-siblings who had all been defenseless.
Joanne Lee was forced to grow up too fast by a negligent mother, sucked into raising her siblings when she was just a child herself, and set on a path that had her having her own child when she was still just a child. Her mother refused to do anything around the house, to interact beyond surface level with her children, or to provide for their basic needs. Leaving them instead to fend for themselves in squalor. That was only the beginning of the horror, though, that ended with multiple babies rotting in her bedroom, left for her daughter to figure out how to deal with - struggling between loyalty to a mother who did nothing for her, and and understanding of right and wrong and loyalty to her half-siblings who had all been defenseless.
March 18, 2023
Immensely sad, gut-wrenching, infuriating - there are countless adjectives to describe this incredible true story of a totally incompetent, manipulative, mentally ill mother and her effect on her family.
The book is also a condemnation of social services which, in the UK as in many other countries (including Australia), failed to follow up on what was obviously a very serious case of child abuse and neglect, probably because of an unsustainable work load.
Joanne Lee, the author, is the heroine in this situation, taking responsibility for others from an extremely early age and succeeding in providing her own family with a stable, loving upbringing that has allowed them to blossom in life in a way that was denied her.
I feel that this is a "must read" book. The system is broken and requires fixing, very quickly, to avoid disasters like this one happening again.
The book is also a condemnation of social services which, in the UK as in many other countries (including Australia), failed to follow up on what was obviously a very serious case of child abuse and neglect, probably because of an unsustainable work load.
Joanne Lee, the author, is the heroine in this situation, taking responsibility for others from an extremely early age and succeeding in providing her own family with a stable, loving upbringing that has allowed them to blossom in life in a way that was denied her.
I feel that this is a "must read" book. The system is broken and requires fixing, very quickly, to avoid disasters like this one happening again.
January 12, 2024
A heartbreaking and tragic story about motherly deceit and betrayal. The author has lived such a daunting life and still managed to find joy wherever she could. Which I found inspiring. And although It’s difficult to believe that so much could go unnoticed under one roof, judgement should be reserved for anyone whose life and circumstances they’ve never lived or experienced. I personally found Joanne to be incredibly brave and resilient. And I hope she can continue to find peace and healing in her life.
August 10, 2019
Strange book
I'm still undecided on how to review this book. On the one hand I found it quite sad and horrific and on the other hand it seems a bit too " mimi" for my liking. It was Joanne's story not the babies. ( How come none of this family have heard of contraception? They all seem to be dropping babies left right and centre!) I think I may be too cynical for these sort of stories, so my apologies to the authors but not my cup of tea
I'm still undecided on how to review this book. On the one hand I found it quite sad and horrific and on the other hand it seems a bit too " mimi" for my liking. It was Joanne's story not the babies. ( How come none of this family have heard of contraception? They all seem to be dropping babies left right and centre!) I think I may be too cynical for these sort of stories, so my apologies to the authors but not my cup of tea
May 19, 2021
How brave, determined & independent Joanna is & had to be. What an upbringing she had, not only looking after herself but her siblings as well. Heartbreaking. I have total admiration for her.
March 11, 2023
The book's brief description provided before checking it out of the library contained spoilers in my opinion. Tragic story.
May 8, 2023
I listened to this book…..not much of a story line. Dragged on….should have ended a couple of chapters before it did.
May 31, 2023
It's gruesome yet captivating.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 555 reviews