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Miranda Hathaway Adventures #7

The Quilters Push Back

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Not even Cutler Pennsylvania is immune from the serious drug epidemic spreading across the nation. When local kids started dying, Cutler Quilt Guild Number One jumped into action. Using every skill they have from sewing to surveillance, they are determined to find the drug dealers and push them out. It might be time for Harriet to dust off her taser!

164 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 17, 2018

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Mary Devlin Lynch

45 books39 followers

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5 stars
164 (49%)
4 stars
54 (16%)
3 stars
56 (16%)
2 stars
41 (12%)
1 star
18 (5%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
Author 11 books17 followers
April 18, 2021
Read it for the 372 Pages podcast. Not good. Bad. Not as bad as some books—it’s shorter than Shadow Moon and more coherent than Bob Honey. But still deeply flawed with shifting points of view, a lack of flow, and a plot that doesn’t seem to actually exist. But among the self/indie-published books the show’s done I put it second only to Trucking Through Time.
Profile Image for Beth.
1,464 reviews200 followers
December 24, 2023
I enjoyed the "cozy" parts of this short mystery pretty well, once I got used to the cast of thousands that the reader is presumed to know as well as the authors do, and a few of the characters showed off their quirks.

The "mystery," such as it is, is hilariously naive about its subject matter, and I couldn't take either the mustache-twirling villainy of the bad guys, or the floundering vigilantism of the quilting group very seriously. There's a fear of encroachment on small town Cutler, PA from the scary, scary city that pervades the book, and considering the blistering whiteness of the cast, things could get uncomfortable really quickly. But the bad guys are just as white as the good guys. White-on-white crime!

I'm trying to avoid duplicating what the "372 Pages" guys said about this book on their podcast, and find that with that in mind, I don't have a lot to say about it. I'm not particularly excited to read more about the quilters, but this wasn't terrible, especially compared to the Chistmas cozy mystery the podcast covered this month.
466 reviews17 followers
April 21, 2021
My grandmother died over ten years ago, but this is a lot like reading a 150 page letter from her. Every page contains names of people I have never known, but apparently am supposed to have known, doing things that are so crushingly banal that one longs for the cryptic wonder of a Dwight David Thrash or a baffling flight-of-fancy from a Dale M Courtney.

Would it be a spoiler if I said the correct title of this book is "The Quilters Do Nothing"? Because basically this story is about the title character getting married. Oh, yes, there are some drug deals going on, but they happen in-between the wedding plans and ceremonies and the closest any of our quilters get is when the title character spots the lowest-level dealer at her wedding. She immediately brushes her suspicions off but of course there is literally no other interaction with any suspicious characters—oh, wait, I'm wrong. There was an earlier encounter with the second-lowest-level dealer in a bar, which her ex-G-Man boyfriend spots, and she uses his description of how criminals trigger his cop-sense to compare with her own intuition later on.

Actual actions taken? None at all.

The biggest disappointment, by far, is the lack of quilting. If I'm going to have a quilting-based adventure, I expect there to be oodles of quilting plot points. I want to know the stiches, how the piecing went, how they ran out of fabric and how to drive to a seedy part of town to find a match...I mean, I cannot recommend this to members of my quilting guild due to the paucity of quilting references herein, and of course not having a quilting guild. (But I know people in quilting guilds, and I can't recommend it to them.)

I will however keep this book in reserve the next time someone accuses a male author of creating unrealistic fantasy women, because the Peter-Graves-Ex-G-Man-hunk-who-not-only-quilts-but-runs-the-long-arm-like-a-master fits right in any manic pixie dream girl I've ever read about. (I mean, I say go to town with that, if you like, but let's not pretend this stuff doesn't go both ways.)
Profile Image for Jon Barnhill.
8 reviews
May 2, 2021
A mystery where there is no mystery and it is “solved” by the culprit running into someone, writing his confession and then running away. The plot would have played out the same with or without the main character of this series.

Mostly this is just an endless listing of names and people for which we have no context or knowledge of and for which it ultimately doesn’t matter.
Profile Image for Nils Krebber.
Author 6 books5 followers
May 6, 2021
A fun read with a bit of an abrupt ending. I learned lots more about wedding plans and food than about any of the drug pushers, but this is a cozy mystery. And for people that actually follow this line and don't jump in at #7 like I did, some of the 100 named characters are probably more familiar.
Profile Image for Scott.
463 reviews11 followers
July 7, 2025
Huh. I've read this once before but apparently never recorded it on here.

This is absolute garbage. The only "so bad it's good" facet, to me, is the childlike writing that comes across as so incredibly naive and lazy.

Biggest example: This opens with the first 20% of the book being about nothing but two weddings and, I'm guessing, references to previous books in the series I did not read. This includes planning a wedding....on February 14th....on Valentine's day.....starting that planning on January 2nd.....

All I heard in my head the entire time was Mike from 372 Pages/Rifftrax laughing for several consecutive minutes in a sketch during the podcast portraying the phone conversation with the wedding venue to make the reservation.

The entire treatment of drugs reads like it was written by....well, exactly who's in the author photo at the end: two clueless boomer women whose entire knowledge of drugs comes from sensationalized and exaggerated "news" reports. "They found so much marijuana in his lungs." It hilariously parallels my very, very recently rewatching Rifftrax Live: Reefer Madness. This book is that movie translated into a shitty, crapped-out-in-a-weekend "cozy mystery" (that, I will note, does not contain an actual mystery of any kind).

Or the whole treatment of "the interstate" as some new phenomenon that's ruining this little town is such a 1950s thing that these ladies don't realize makes no goddamn sense in the 21st century where everyone and everything is connected to everything else both physically and digitally.

The sheer number of named characters who are simply never mentioned again is utterly insane. I imagine at least half of them are throwaway references to the previous 6 books? But that's no excuse, it's something any competent editor would call out; while I love that publication becoming more democratized provides more opportunity to new authors, it also led to a severe reduction in our standards for writing, both for the writers themselves and the readers (see: all of TikTok and the epidemic of people bitching about things like "too many words on the page"). It led to this book existing sans plot and with scenes like "two characters stand in a library politely recapping their generic holiday experiences for one another".

I just do not respect the cozy mystery genre at all, if that hasn't been made abundantly clear. I can sort of understand "just turn off your brain and enjoy the ride" for your RP1s and Twilights of the world; I really don't, but I get why people think that might maybe make sense. At least some stuff sort of happens. But shit like this? It's just eavesdropping on boring people talking about nothing.

It reads to me like that "Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend" video featured on one of the earliest "Best of the Worst" epidodes by RedLetterMedia. It must be like watching a human fish tank for these people: It in no way actually resembles the real ocean or how those fish would behave in their natural habitat, but everything is clean, unsurprising, and controlled so they can project their own narrative onto the fish (or these characters) while really they're just watching the same 3 boring interactions on a loop.

In short: It's 100 pages of parasocial voyeurism in which nothing actually happens that is more than vague "modern life is bad" fearmongering anecdotes. The world's tamest "drug epidemic" plays out across 3 or 4 "chapters" in between swaths of the most bland, inoffensive discussion of weddings, food, who is dating whom, and getting horny to Jeopardy. I truly, sincerely do not understand how a functioning human being with an intact frontal lobe could ever unironically enjoy this, let alone to the extent the gargantuan cozy-industrial complex seems to suggest is in fact actually happening.

Then again, Golden Corral and a certain Hate Chicken fast food franchise are still in business, so what the fuck do I know about anything, I'm clearly the odd one for wanting more than bland, un-challenging, boring filler in my life.
Profile Image for Stephen.
340 reviews11 followers
April 27, 2021
First, sorry to any sincere fans of the cozy mystery genre as this gets review-bombed by the listeners of 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back.
--

This was a fascinating, weird book - my first foray into the "cozyverse" of Amazon self-publishing, though not the last (see my review of MAGICALLY MURDERED: A WITCH COZY MYSTERY) - that isn't good, but is bad in charming and often amusing ways.

The story is told in pretty much the same style as a Christmas card from your elderly aunt ("Fwds from Grandma" doesn't quite capture it), somewhat rambling, entirely mundane until it isn't, references to other people and places around town tossed off because "you know so-and-so" even if you really don't. Also there are a lot of sly references to middle-aged sex and pizza and Jeopardy!.

The plot, in the sense of "events that happen in some order," involves the wedding of the main narrator and a fatal drug epidemic. And while these stories take place in the fictional town of Cutler, Pennsylvania, so that saps the dramatic plotline of a lot of potential.

Or maybe not? See, much like "YA"-categorized books, I suspect that there are certain "cozy" genre conventions that just have to happen, and certain alternatives might just be too dramatic and not "cozy" enough. Unfortunately, what was chosen creates some tonal whiplash as most of the time it's a light caper with wedding-planning side story, only they mention that and yet it's not considered a hair-on-fire emergency.

As for the writing, the biggest thing I'd actually call "bad" is that the tense and point of view switch—often, but not always, without warning. There are a few cases where it's almost avant-garde, except I'm pretty sure this isn't supposed to be pushing any sort of artistic boundaries (again, "cozy"?) and it's just confusing to read. Sometimes we hop from first-person narration (Miranda) into, say, close third-person (following her fiance Gabe, say) without any paragraph breaks or anything. But other times we get chapter headings that clearly note that this is from Character X's POV. That's the kind of minor but crucial wrinkle that professional editors can fix.

On the bright side, the podcast episodes for this book have been bundles of shared glee and some excellent "real or fanfic," which reflects positively back on the book itself - it takes a very special kind of talent!

And so, with apologies to the cozy mystery fans who are probably quite confused about all this "372 Pages" stuff: 1.5 stars, rounded up if reading along with the podcast.
Profile Image for Melly.
169 reviews42 followers
March 22, 2021
There are fourteen characters in this book whose names start with J, and three of those are derivatives of James, plus two of John. We got us a full-on Duggar situation here.

Author 1 book
September 17, 2021
As with a lot of people who have read this book recently, I read it for the podcast 372 pages We'll Never Get Back where Michael J. Nelson (Rifftrax/Mystery Science Theater 3000) and Connor Lastowska (Rifftrax writer) read bad books.

This is by far one of the best books they've read on the podcast. Some of the books I'll enjoy for how bad they were. I didn't think this one was as bad as the others. Don't get me wrong, it's not good, but it's unironically enjoyable because it's cozy.

My biggest gripes would have to be the multitude of characters that both affect the plot and don't that get introduced and dropped easily. I don't know if they have anything to do with the rest of the series, but being bombarded with a ton of characters is both hilarious and frustrating. I think Mike and Connor compared this to sitting next to a kind old woman on an airplane who tells you stories about people who you'll never meet.

Also, the mystery is pretty lackluster. It centers around drug pushers (get it? The Quilters are pushing back against the pushers!) moving in on the small town of Cutter and the folks don't like it because several college aged students have been turning up at the hospital after OD'ing and they create this huge task force to stop it. I was under the impression that the titular character, Miranda Hathaway was going to solve the mystery...but her friend sort of stumbles upon the suspect after Miranda puts up fliers and plans her wedding.

If you're interested in intimate weddings, this is the book for you. I'm not. I found all the wedding stuff to be boring because outside of the "mystery" there's little conflict going on. Everyone agrees with each other and is all lovey dovey all the time. No one fights. If there's anything bad said from one person to the other, it's because someone is a bad guy or it's said with tongue firmly planted into their cheek. People are sassy, never argumentative. No conflict. I wonder if that's just a staple of this niche subgenre.

I know it's not right, but I usually hold self-published books to a lower standard than commercially published books (even though I self-published one a long time ago...I have revised that book quite a bit since then and am looking for a publisher), but I feel like this book is at least decently competent compared to some of the others I have read for this podcast. I couldn't see it sitting on the shelves with the likes of Mary Higgins Clark or one of those authors (not my genre/subgenre, so that's one of the few authors I could think of), but if you're looking for a cheap, quick read you can do much worse.
Profile Image for Nick.
595 reviews26 followers
May 4, 2021
I read this in conjunction with the podcast '372 Pages We'll Never Get Back,' which is a podcast about two comedians reading books they probably aren't going to like. They decided it would be fun to read a cozy mystery about a topic which cozy mysteries really aren't equipped to address, and so we read a book about a group of middle-aged quilters tackling the opioid epidemic.

Unlike the podcasters, who try to be positive even about the worst dreck they read, I'm perfectly happy to say this is a poorly conceived and poorly written excuse for a book by a trio of authors who should probably spend more time quilting, or eating pork and sauerkraut, or whatever else it is they do. It's not a mystery. They barely discuss quilting, which seems like it would be a big draw for people reading a book about quilters. There's an unbearable smugness to the main character, whether she's dismissing her fiance's ex as a pathetic sad sack who will never be happy again or insisting that she and her fellow quilting biddies are equipped to take on the scourge of drugs in a small town. Couple that with some of the most tone-deaf understanding of substance use this side of "Reefer Madness" and you have a perfect storm of trash.
Profile Image for Gunnar Peters.
283 reviews
September 22, 2023
I almost feel bad giving this book 1 star because it is truly delightful but it is also exceptionally dumb. This book is essentially what it's like to go listen to an old woman at a retirement community just talk for a few hours. She tells you all about her neighbors, friends, family, and acquaintances, and then tells you all about all of their children and grandchildren and the people that they're dating and eventually you just have to say "Grandma I don't know who any of these people are". But then grandma throws in the fact that multiple high school kids have died of ecstasy overdoses recently and that her and the other pensioners are investigating what's happening. Before you can even question what was just said it's back to talking about Betty and Archie and their daughter Jenny who's dating Tom who's father Jim is the insurance agent who was selling insurance to John, the print shop guy, who's wife Irma works at the hospital etc, etc, etc. And you're just like "Grandma what was that about the drug overdoses!"

I don't think cozy mysteries are for me, but after the absolute horror show that was Ready Player 2 this was a lot of fun.
44 reviews
May 4, 2021
Full disclosure: I read this book along with the "372 Pages We'll Never Get Back" podcast.

The main problem with "The Quilters Push Back" is that the main character has little to no agency in the plot. Most of the action around the series protagonist is about her wedding while a story from an out of date drug scare educational film plays out in the background. The point of view jumps around from first person to third person with no warning and can become confusing, and the crime is solved fairly easily by the police and an "undercover" civilian while Miranda Hathaway vacations in the Pocono mountains.

It's a harmless, quick read, but there's not much substance to be found here.
17 reviews
August 31, 2021
Great book!!!

Best book in the series. The gracefully pulled so many plot twist together. The topic story line kept you guessing as to who was the real bad guys. I cheered for the town as they battled against the drug deals. Happy for Max becoming the town hero. His family becoming so proud of him. Loved the marriage plans and ceremony for Max and Miranda. The ending left the reader craving for the next book. Would recommend this book to anyone who loves a good cozy murder mystery. Love the mixture of romance, intriguing plot and happy ending.
22 reviews1 follower
April 30, 2023
Cutler Combats Dealers

As I began reading, I almost decided to not finish the book because of what occurred at the beginning. I'm glad I completed the book. Drugs and death by overdose are not a pleasant topic, the citizens of Cutler did not flinch. They face the problem head on, execute a plan, and go into action. Of course, the quilters are in the front of the line as part of the action. A good tale
Profile Image for Arkrayder .
445 reviews
March 26, 2021
Read this as part of the 382 pages we’ll never get back podcast. Pretty bad. No flow to the narrative. It skips and jumps around. This is supposed to be a ‘cozy mystery’ but more attention is given to the so called ‘sleuths’ wedding. The ‘mystery’ itself is solved fairly quickly and easily, with a generic, cliche solution.
32 reviews
Read
May 3, 2021
I love the 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back podcast which covered this novel. While normally I don’t read along with the podcast - no desire to crack open Midnight Sun or The Mister anytime soon - I very sincerely and unironically enjoyed reading this self-published “cozy mystery” as a look into an online phenomenon I was previously unaware of.
Profile Image for Skari.
141 reviews5 followers
March 5, 2024
I read this for the comedy book club podcast "372 Pages We'll Never Get Back", and honestly it's probably my favorite book they done of the episodes that I've listened to. It was a little spicier than I expected a scene with Jeopardy playing in the background to be, I'll give you that. But overall, loved the characters and the story, and you could tell the hosts were totally charmed by it.
Profile Image for Debra McEathron.
1,829 reviews2 followers
February 11, 2019
Pushers Be Gone

This is a good story about a town that comes together to put an end to kids dying from drug overdoses. Miranda is planning her wedding with Gabe's help while planning their wedding and helping to catch drug dealers.
96 reviews
December 19, 2023
I enjoy reading about Miranda and her quilting circle but this was disapointing. Because drug problems are all across our country I wish more could've gone to jail and more justice served. Now on to book #8 in the series.
384 reviews4 followers
March 1, 2020
Very fun!!

When is her daughter getting married????? Such fun mysteries, this was my least favorite but still enjoyed it!! Can’t wait for #8.
Profile Image for Angela Griffin.
1,745 reviews5 followers
October 25, 2020
A miss

As odd as this may sound, the drug epidemic was too complex to be tackled in this cozy; these fine authors are much more adept at murder mysteries.
Profile Image for Lynn DeLano.
172 reviews
December 28, 2020
Do bad and pay

I didn’t find this book as thrilling as the previous ones but still a good story. Happy to see Gabe and Miranda tie the knot finally
Profile Image for Annie.
32 reviews2 followers
March 25, 2021
So many meals for such a short book. I think my favorite was the bbq sandwich, and unlike the authors I don't think there's anything wrong with bbq in January.
Profile Image for Michael.
335 reviews
Read
April 23, 2021
Another shared read with Donald (372-Pages selection)! We enjoyed reading along with the podcast.

(More details in my blog entry...)
Profile Image for PP9000.
82 reviews1 follower
April 24, 2021
The book is a bit like listened to a long telephone conversation with your Nan where she gives you in depth updates about people you've never heard of and you can't get a word in edgeways.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews

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