At first, I wasn't sure if this book existed in a world where mediums were real or not. I am perfectly comfortable visiting such a world in a book. However, at the beginning, I just felt uncomfortable, as it wasn't clear which we were in, and, regardless, I didn't like living there vicariously.
As the story progressed, the situation blurred further, as things happened that seemed to reveal, finally, which we were in, as the only other option was some form of mental illness. Having an apparent answer made the story a bit more enjoyable, but, later, an alternative explanation was given that didn't make sense and seemed logistically impossible.
The story made a part of my past reverberate. I recalled struggling with the concept of "real" in fifth grade. Our fifth grade teacher had a car accident before the start of the school year, and I spent most of the year longing for the return of our "real" teacher, only to discover, too late, the sub had actually been a better, nicer teacher. A couple years earlier, I had, also, told a classmate, since she was adopted, her mom wasn't her "real" mom, but I guess a third grader can be excused for such things.
Possibly one of the reasons I wasn't a huge fan of this book was a part of myself was reflected back to me in a negative light, namely how honesty can be an A-bomb that destroys. I didn't find the aftermath of this type of destruction realistic. Time after time, I didn't like the main character's choices so was an unwilling hostage, as I read along. Although I see comments indicating at least some people liked the main character, I did not. It's difficult to enjoy a story when you don't.
A possible future was mentioned early in the book, and I was looking forward to exploring it, yet the main character chose, instead, not to pursue it. It felt like a broken promise. The chosen path wasn't pursued in any meaningful way, so it just felt like she was in limbo. It wasn't horrible, but I found it unsatisfying.
I was actually really looking forward to something the main character had been striving for, something about the title, regardless of why, the fact that in never happened was disappointing.