The Prince of Milk

by Exurb1a

All of time is simultaneous. Matter tends towards perfection. Cats can be dicks sometimes. The Prince of Milk is a leisurely stroll from prehistory to the distant future, stopping for tea in the 21st century English countryside. Before the time machine, before the undead mannequins, before the cat with the universe eye, there were the arbiters. They regulated the world and kept reality from banging into itself. All was well in paradise. But even the gods end up in love triangles from time to time. Several galaxies and a dimension away, Wilthail is a small English village alternating between flower shows and the occasional divorce. Life ambles. Old men and women make peace with their gods. Little do they know three deities walk among them already, biding their time before an ancient grudge rears its head. The world is a garden. The world is a gutter. Which is it? PRAISE FOR THE PRINCE OF MILK: “Please stop contacting me. I’m not going to read your book.” – Exurb1a’s mother “Sorry, I don’t like science fiction.” – Woman on the bus “Is that you again? Look, we’ve talked about this.” – Exurb1a’s mother

Genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Philosophy, Short Stories, Novels, Literature

352 pages, Paperback

Published April 5, 2018

About the author

Exurb1a likes fiction with a metaphysical backbone. He enjoys trying to write that kind of stuff himself.

He also runs a subpar YouTube channel of the same name.

Reviews

[Jamie Hart · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book about having an existential crisis in a small English countryside town while simultaneously having an existential crisis in a small English countryside town.

10/10 would visit the Etheria again.

[Цветозар · Rating 4 out of 5]

First off, yes, I am biased and although I love the work this author does on YouTube it's really been a while since a book has required a bit of intellectual effort from my side, which is a nice breath of fresh air. But as I said this whole review might be a falsehood brought upon by my extreme bias towards everything that Exurb1a does.

I've been spending a ludicrous amount of money on books lately and I should probably stop. Thing is, Exurb1a is a YouTuber whose work I truly enjoy and I couldn't not do my bit to support him by purchasing this (I'm quite bitter with Amazon at the moment because they don't deem me worthy enough to write a review on their site, but I'll get over it). That being said, I don't regret getting this at all. The Prince of Milk is one of those few really good sci-fi books that are almost excellent on your first reading and I bet this will be absolutely marvelous when one eventually re-reads it because the depth this book has just requires it and I, for one, will definitely remember to have a second look at this when it has disappeared from my memory slightly. Maybe on my second read through the massive amount of characters that are thrown at you won't seem as harsh and this rating will go up.

As a side note, the little explanations of scientific theories at the end was a real treat and I feel should be present in all works of science fiction. Also talking cats and Bulgaria, what's not to love.

[Fiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

"You throw a little chaos into quantum mechanics and suddenly they're giving you official titles."
"Chaos into quantum mechanics? Doesn't that make you Schrödinger's ca-"
"Don't." the boy growls. "Just don't."

First off. I'm biased. I love and live for the exurb1a YouTube channel. Honestly if I didn't already love the author this book would be getting a lower rating from me, but this guy deserves more attention hence the four star rating.

What can I say about the writing? It's fantastic. Whimsical, magical, mind-blowing and strangely reminiscent of Neil Gaiman. I loved the writing.

Also this book messes with your head BIG TIME. I actually took it into myself to try and give the number 10^91 a name after reading this book (such as quadrillion, decillion, etc.). This book stays with you, and while it wasn't a light read, it was definitely a worthwhile one.

Now onto my qualms. Of which, there were a few. Mainly, TOO MANY CHARACTERS THAT ALL LOOK THE SAME AND ACT NEARLY THE SAME. Seriously there were about 10 main characters. I feel like that number could be reduced to six and the story could still be kept the same. It took me forever to differentiate between Suzie and Jennifer, John and Rupert, Jamie and another guy who I can't even remember the name of. I would've loved the story to focus more on Beomus and McAlistair as well as Zoe, John and Matilda. I feel like those storylines were really interesting and kept me going through this book. The other plots didn't really contribute to the overall plot, I get they were supposed to show how Whithail changed due to the Etheria but they just dragged honestly, and lowered my enjoyment of the book. When it came to the climax of the story I wasn't really attached to any one character and so I wasn't as invested as I should've been.

That being said this is definitely a book to recommend. There are some insane twists in this book (if you can actually understand what the hell is going on) and it takes messing with your mind to a whole new level. This book had both my inner physics nerd and my inner writer nerd screaming with joy and it's definitely a book that'll stay with me. Also if you're confused about any concepts in the book then the exurb1a YouTube channel probably has a video on it, which I personally found very helpful when it came to entropy.

Exurb1a, wow. I applaud you.

[innofarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Happy people are just people you aren't acquainted enough with yet to know how miserable they really are." ---> update: this is nonsense :) what one must aim for is "being content", so not necessarily miserable nor always extremely exceedingly happy. One learns with time.

[Camila T 🍉]

DNF@84% some events were brought into light, about the author, and I’m not even gonna try to separate them and work. This will be a no-no for probably ever.

[Stephen Chyau · Rating 4 out of 5]

BEWARE OF READING THIS BOOK.
It amplifies any hint of existential dread you may already have. Just to be safe, keep a copy of Viktor Frankl's Man Search For Meaning by your side at all times.

If you're coming from his YouTube channel, this book is a change of scene from his usual content. There is way less witty humor (though, not nonexistent) and way less British Accent (though surprisingly, not nonexisitent). That said, you can expect the usual themes eg: nihilism, futurism, and a thick load of wizardjizz (science - for you non Exurb1ans).

The middle section gets overly complicated with over 10+ side characters that each have their separate side stories. At times, things were so random that I didn't even know what was going on (eg: there's a scene with dead people reincarnated as mannequins talking to each other). That said, Exurb1a does a good job tying up all this weirdness into one coherent story - usually with a "Big Reveal" at the end of each chapter, and especially at the end of the book. (Side note: As I read more Exurb1a, I've noticed this is a writing technique that he uses very well and very often.)

But seriously, keep that copy nearby. "There's no grand plan and no one's in charge. It's all just fumbling about in the dark, and half the time you're not even sure why you're fumbling."

[Ino · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed every minute of this! It’s weird ,intellectual ,scary and funny. I don’t know how authors pull off such stories but I’m grateful it works. I’d love to give some sort of criticism but I just can’t,even the lumpy bits are all part of scenery. The villains are all over the top but I liked it. I give up. I do hope that Schrödinger’s cat find his way home. I just might reread this. A solid 5 stars.

[Lewis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I completely forgot I read this book, and if that isn't a glowing endorsement I don't know what is.

My brother really liked it, if that helps, and he is a massive philosophy & physics geek (which happens to be the basis upon which this book builds its premise). Personally, I felt it was all over the place, and lacked the thing that makes you want to keep reading. The universe it establishes and the variety of quasi-gods, reincarnation, etc. was legitimacy interesting, and I think it is what kept me going.

I will give the book credit in that it was reasonably well written, though prone to one dimensional characters in several places, in addition to stepping a bit too much into existentialism for me (but, then again, that's the whole brand of Exurb1a).

Most damningly for me, however, was that I was bored reading it, and to add to that (as mentioned) I forgot I read it (which made it seem like I spent a month reading Cloud Atlas, which did seem a bit of a stretch. Sorry for not keeping on top of my Goodreads everyone.)

[Mohammed Ghoul · Rating 5 out of 5]

If a story was to be tailor made for me this would be it. Sci-fi with deep scientific principles with a tone of philosophy from the existential and the nihilistic to looking for purpose and meaning.
I absolutely adore this book, while the story could've been better I admit, but the seamless adaptation of complex topics into the narrative without it feeling forced and the amazing themes makes this book easily one of my favorites.

[Heini · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hyvin miellyttävä <3

[Colin Bishop · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most amazing things I have ever read. A total mind trip. But also incredible food for thought. I’ll need to read it at least another time or two to really process it all.

[Aditigro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unspeakably beautiful masterpiece. Some books are just too good for a review, but I'll try my best.

This book is a journey through concepts. Some may be a little heavy and hard to wrap your head around. Some are outright ridiculous. Surreal moments and philosophical talks tangle with the smart humor and delicious storytelling.

It is captivating as a consumerist sci-fi thriller and mind-blowingn as a philosophical work. Exurb1a always manages to get my head steaming. Hats off to him. F-ing role model

[Heitor Trielli · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25/5

É o melhor livro escrito por um Youtuber que eu já li em toda a minha vida.

Não que isso signifique muita coisa, visto que é o único livro escrito por um Youtuber que eu li.

Mas é bem legal, recomendo.

[blueva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let's just say that book was one hell of a ride... I mean I didn't really care much about the characters to be really honest. There was so much jumping from one perspective to the next I mean it did it's job of expressing how fast something can happen and you had to pay a lot more attention. My attention span isn't the best these days so I had sometimes a difficult time following what's going on. If you want to think more about of how short and unimportant our lives are this is the book for you. No but it does bring it into perspective the whole plot is about how there is an endless loop of reincarnations of us which we don't even remember and there is a better species that can. I like how the author included some of the more known theories about reincarnation and time travel, all that good stuff. My conclusion about this book is that it did give me some comfort that a lot of other people worry about the same things. It was on one side comforting and maybe a bit scary but I enjoyed it none the less. I don't normally like books where the perspective jumps to different characters like game of thrones style but I didn't really mind all that much. I wish I cared more about the characters it would have made it more tragic and heartfelt when spoiler he took himself apart to save his master or well the policeman. I like that it made me think. I probably wouldn't have read this book if my cousin wouldn't have recommended them to me in the first place. Overall a good book might read the other one too.

[Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Mindstate of a budding author

A fascinating book, fill of ideas only someone with an enlightened mindstate such as Exurb1a could come up with. While certainly not laid out like a traditional novel, nor is it intended to be so, it still ends up being fascinating if read with an open mind. The main issue I found is that the beginning of the book, mainly the first 20%ish, is so fractured and discontinuous that it was hard to get into. However, from there onwards, this issue fades in severity, until it can no longer be called a problem.

[Simona · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my favourite work of his. The story is quite interesting, but the execution seems sloppy. Many non-memorable characters that I didn't care about, chapters too short to learn about the characters, the point of view of the story keeps changing.

It is obvious that, as with many SF the premise takes priority over story-telling, but I found the main idea too chaotic and it just didn't work for me.

[Clara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Exurb1a never disappoints. I always expect a wild adventure, a story 100% laced with some kind of shrooms that make you question everything and simultaneously affirms everything. No, this book did not disappoint, in the very least. The Prince of Milk, spanning across aeons, is, in its core, a love story. Of people that were meant to be but found each other at the wrong time. At the same time, it is a deep dive into a picturesque and sleepy English village. Some of my absolute favourite characters included Mr. Whistle and Zoe. I love a realistic father-daugther relationship, where years of bottled of emotion can coexist with small, casual gestures of love and endearment. One young space traveller - and no, not Beomus, even if he was an absolute joy to read about. For a man who has lived for more time than could be counted, he has maintained his boyishness. The book will only get 4 stars because of a single reason that bothered me throughout the book. Zorya is nothing more than a damsel in distress? Or is it just me? Someone who just waited and did not act on her own. It feels very old-fashioned in writing, and it did not land well for me. Would have also liked closure on some things that I will not discuss (for future Clara reading this: plastic.).

[Daryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m left a bit speechless having finished this book.

What did I just read? Let’s see, there were:

“Gods” battling across time
Talking cats and cows
Conscious atoms
Time travelling adolescents
A cosmic throwdown between entropy and novelty
Undead mannequins
A literal existential crisis in a small English town
And more!

If that sounds like a lot, well, it was. But it’s expertly weaved together into a whimsical whole that’s a mind-bending joy to read.

The best part for me was actually the glossary at the end, where exurb1a discusses the various scientific theories he used to keep the events of the book (loosely) in line with what’s possible. I wish all sci-fi authors did this. I actually highlighted every book recommendation he made in this section, and will immediately start on the most interesting-sounding one: Diaspora by Greg Egan.

Can definitely recommend this book to fans of sci fi, exurb1a and thought-provoking fiction. Please beware: existential angst may ensue!

[Lyss · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was wild in ways that I loved. Taking the words of someone else, this book is truly a “fever dream,” but in a way that will have you reading 200 pages in just a few hours. The physics side of it was super interesting even if I had to look a few things up (like Pilot Wave Theory). This is a book you have to really think about and even reread a chapter at times (luckily they are super short…another plus), but it’s worth it. I had moments of what did I just read, but the beauty of it is that what you’ll spend time thinking about, doesn’t have a clear answer in the book. You get to be a scientist and actively analyze/ponder many topics and plot twists and theories. Great conversation piece. Totally different than any science fiction book I’ve ever read but one of the best for sure.

[Bierka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my usual cup of tea, but an interesting choice.

After being lent to me by one of my closest friends that has very different tastes than me, I was a bit skeptic about it, thinking that it won't warm me with anything.

Yet, the book did impress me, even though it was strangely complex (meaning it went back and forth through scenes and the characters merely sticking with one or two other and a lot of conception intelligence, since it was very intricate on the subject of relativity and the existance if something greater than the universe).

OK-ish storyline, hard to follow though at times.

The scenes with the mannequins were the best, not gonna lie, i'mma miss them.

[Lukas Ghassemi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charmant geschrieben, Zugegebenermaßen war ich bereits ein Fan von Exturb1a und bin somit etwas vorhereingenommen. Dennoch war ich nicht enttäuscht.
Es ist ein netter Mix aus Science-Fiction, Fantasie und britischen Humor.
Die Charaktere besitzen Tiefe und dem wird Raum gelassen ohne das die Handlung etwas an Humor und Lockerheit verliert.
Ich hatte mehr ethische Dilemma erwartet, war aber dann doch zufrieden dass diese nicht die Handlung bestimmt haben.
Bin zufrieden :)

[Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay I finally figured out what I liked about this - it's smacks of Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle but...better. A little more existentially profound than outright nihilistic, but admittedly more fever-dream nightmare inducing. I'm not gonna be over the snake scene for a while.

[Eric Siqueira · Rating 4 out of 5]

A busca de um amor durante varias vidas é algo que me deixou encantado. O que é uma eternidade perto do amor? O que é poder eterno perto da amizade?
As linhas do plot foram carinhosamente trançadas numa conclusão que não deixou ponta solta e trouxe satisfação para todas partes envolvidas.

[Bastiaan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice fictional story with a kind of background in physics. The plot kept me interested and entertained throughout the book. I will probably read the other novel by Exurb1a as well one day.
4.1

[Matthias · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really cool ideas of reality and deity concepts. Enjoyed the read. Had a dark setting, I enjoyed it

[Galen · Rating 5 out of 5]

You bastard (five stars)

[Sharon]

DNF - page 89 (25%)
(November 9, 2025)

When I realized I was at 25% and still had no idea what was going on, I decided I just was not going to put in the effort to actually figure it out.

[Geo Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Quotes I liked

The Prince of Milk Exurb1a Z-Library.epub (Highlight: 23; Note: 0)

───────────────

▪ Watch out, you might get what you're after.
 
— Talking Heads
 
 
Time will perfect matter.
 
— Terence Mckenna
 
 
But there's an altar in the valley, for things in themselves as they are.
 
— Silver Jews

▪ In his mind he sees the gaunt and crinkled face staring back at him from The Old Curmudgeon’s window; its eyes not those of the old face they sit in, but of a young boy’s like his own who has simply seen too much of the world and would rather it just went away.

▪ “What lovely sunflowers you have.”
“Precious things,” Augustus says. “Living on the edge of life, as everything must. Just a few days out of the sun, or starved of water, and they wither. And no policeman would come investigating after their deaths.”
“Excuse my husband once again,” Mary says. “He is always strange in the summer.”

▪ “You were expecting my dad when you knocked on the door, weren't you?” Zoe says. Eric nods. “You looked afraid. Were you afraid?” He nods again. “You mustn't be scared of him. He's just lonely. If we're scared of lonely people, they'll only get lonelier.”

▪ He glances at the scars again. Seems insane, he thinks, that something so beautiful would want to remove itself from the world. But then maybe that's how beauty keeps its market value, else the world would be full of beautiful things and no one would give a damn about any of them.

▪ Now remember, why did you end it, dickhead?
Yes, because I never felt I was enough. Because I thought I'd rather stay alone than be an option to someone I considered a priority. Because I was too ashamed to give away just how insecure I felt back then. Because I was young. Because I was pathetic.
And what I wouldn't give to just sleep next to you one more time.

▪ She waggles her head a little awkwardly. “I have these episodes where I don't want to be around anymore. The gods don't take kindly to their creations trying to off themselves, do they? Yahweh forbids it. My father wasn't too keen either.”

▪ “Tom Downing said you tried to do yourself in.”
A pause, then Zoe says, “You don’t know what that means, do you?” Eric shakes his head. “It means I tried to kill myself.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know really. Why do you want to visit the future so badly? I bet if you look really carefully you’ll see you're not excited about the future at all, you just don't like the present that much. Well I guess I feel the same way.”

▪ “No, that's not it. Regardless, all you need to do is stay as calm as possible. In future, if you see anything strange and want to run away, just remember how strange everything is already. You're a thinking bag of meat standing on an organic spaceship. And that doesn't seem to bother you. Why should a talking cat make the situation any worse?”

▪ “Some people seem to keep it all together, don't they?” Rupert says.
“Happy people are just people you aren't acquainted enough with yet to know how miserable they really are.”

▪ There is just enough time, and no more and no less than that.

▪ “We haven't explored the stars.”
“You will. But all that wandering is only good for so long. One day your kind will expand across the entire galaxy, and more. The emperors of that time will feel just as hollow as the politicians of yours. But there are other horizons beyond that one.”

▪ “Do you know the problem of evil, Jennifer?” She shook her head. “Well, it applies to our situation just as well as any other. There is evil in the world, yet God claims he loves us. If he could remove that evil but chooses not to, then he is not all-loving as we're told he is. If he wants to remove that evil from the world but cannot, then why do we call him all-powerful? In any case, he's not truly God and there's nothing to be frightened of.

▪ “Patience,” Beomus says again.
The sparks dance and careen, a kaleidoscope of detonations. A world waits behind, infinite, colours Mcalister has not seen before, whirling about and warping in more dimensions than he is accustomed, more than should be logically allowed; a place he knows no name for but in some small, innate corner of his mind has always been sure exists. 
Meaning is as solid as matter in there, galumphing about in eternity, shining and explicit now. 
The universe creates itself from nothing, just for the pleasure of doing so.
History waddles about, drunk.
Logic only sits at the back and holds Her tongue.
The world ends. The world begins. Creatures expire. Creatures endure. 
Tautologies populate the sky, bare and self-evident.
The Great Axiom wears four masks to its own party and comes as four guests at once: electromagnetism, gravity, the strong force, and the weak force.
What shall we do now? the Four Forces sing. And what is Space? And what is Truth? And what is Goodness?
Oh hell, Matter replies. What's anything?
Over in the corner, Time takes a look up Her own skirt.
And Mcalister makes out a fragment, blurry at first, then clear as day; the mechanism behind the curtain of Being, beyond all its veils, garments, and classifications: the true purpose of matter and energy.
He tries to compress it in his mind. It won't compress.
He tries to rationalise it in his mind. It is not a rational object.
He lies back in the sand then, takes a deep breath, and begins to laugh hysterically.
“I know,” the cat says. “I know.”

▪ “Sometimes brains are beyond repair.”

▪ A corridor opens up ahead of Jamie, a new space: adulthood or something close, where everything is a grey area and no decision will please everyone, if anyone at all, and each story has some other side to it you hadn't considered before.

▪ Whistle thinks this over. “My parents were academics,” he says.
“I know, I met them.”
“And when I was a kid they used to have lots of people over for dinner. Most of them were famous mathematicians and scientists, but others were total idiots and I could see my parents were just taking pity on them. After they'd gone home, my parents would give me a quick summary of their life story, and it was usually something sad like drugs or divorce or some weird personality flaw they'd never ironed out. So I always wondered how people made such stupid decisions. Didn't they realise what they were doing at the time? I promised myself I'd never end up like those sad cases at the dinner table. Naturally I did anyway.
“But if you think about it long enough, you'll always come around to the same conclusion, I reckon. There's no grand plan and no one's in charge. It's all just fumbling about in the dark, and half the time you're not even sure why you're fumbling. You're so desperate for something to pin your peace of mind to that you'll do all sorts of stupid things in its name. You don't mean to break up a marriage, but if breaking it up might let you sleep like a normal person again, suddenly you start considering it. You don't mean to become a drunk, but if drink is the only way you can keep a handle on some tiny compartment of your life then it's straight for the bottle.”
The wind screams through the rafters. The candle has a little seizure, then settles again.
“And before you know it, you're just another balding idiot with nothing to show for himself but bankruptcy and a few keepsakes. All those sad bastards at my parents' dinner table were good people at some time. Something just got big on them and they folded. It could happen to anyone.”

▪ This is where we part ways. The great tragedy isn't death. It's losing each other across history. You understand that now, don't you? I'd like to see you again.

▪ None of it meant anything, he thinks. Or maybe it did and I was just too stupid to figure it all out. God, I tried but there are so many moving parts. Maybe I'm just a dumb animal staring at a chalkboard covered in some brilliant equation and it's all going right over my head.
He waddles closer to the incinerator.
I hope it all meant something and I was just too stupid to get it, he thinks. I hope it's that, because if it's the other thing then I'd rather not have been born at all.
He thinks of his wife.
You meant something. Everything, I'd say.

▪ Now, the stage set, the players ready,” Rawlings says. “If the doors of perception were cleansed, reality would appear to man as it is. Infinite! A fine platitude, but what did William Blake know, really? Ask a depressive and a lover what the world is made for and you’ll get two conflicting answers. What is the world for? I’ll tell you, if you like. To wither. Isn't that a thing?” He eyes Matilda and John. “Why else be burdened with wanting and wanting and wanting all the time? And guile. And grief. And guilt.”
“I think there’s more to the world than that,” John says soberly.

▪ “I'm sorry,” John says to his daughter. “God, I'm sorry for all of it.”
Zoe smiles like he's just told a brilliant joke. “No one asks to exist,” she says.

▪ “Is that why I've been so miserable all this time? Does it do something to a person, being the child of one of your kind?”
“Nope, life's just unfair in places. Sorry.”

▪ There is a kind of bravery to our condition, I reckon: brought into being without an explanation, in a potentially infinite and apparently dead universe, and expected to just get on with it as though nothing strange is going on. Well it fucking is. And it's all right to have a meltdown about the whole affair from time to time, faced with the pressures of modern existence, trying to be a good human and a good worker and a good son/daughter/parent, trying to be a good citizen, trying to be wise without condescension but uninhibited without recklessness, trying to just muddle through without making any silly decisions, trying to align with the correct political opinions, trying to stay thin, trying to be attractive, trying to be smart, trying to find the ideal partner, trying to stay financially secure, trying to just find some modest corner of meaning and belonging and sanity to go and sit in, and all the while living on the edge of dying forever. 
 
We're all in the same strange boat, grappling with the same strange condition. But it isn't quite so scary if we all do it together. So let's do it together.

[Hanna Weiss · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was a bit disappointed with this read, I LOVED Geometry for Ocelots but had trouble connecting to the characters of prince of milk. There were so many people introduced and I couldn’t keep track of them all 😢

I would recommend Geometry for Ocelots from this author though it was incredible!!

[Martin Schroeder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the shifting perspectives and how important everyone is to the development of the story.