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If You Ask Me: Essential Advice from Eleanor Roosevelt
Experience the timeless wit and wisdom of Eleanor Roosevelt in this annotated collection of candid advice columns that she wrote for more than twenty years.
In 1941, Eleanor Roosevelt embarked on a new career as an advice columnist. She had already transformed the role of first lady with her regular press conferences, her activism on behalf of women, minorities, and youth, her lecture tours, and her syndicated newspaper column. When Ladies Home Journal offered her an advice column, she embraced it as yet another way for her to connect with the public. “If You Ask Me” quickly became a lifeline for Americans of all ages.
Over the twenty years that Eleanor wrote her advice column, no question was too trivial and no topic was out of bounds. Practical, warm-hearted, and often witty, Eleanor’s answers were so forthright her editors included a disclaimer that her views were not necessarily those of the magazines or the Roosevelt administration. Asked, for example, if she had any Republican friends, she replied, “I hope so.” Queried about whether or when she would retire, she said, “I never plan ahead.” As for the suggestion that federal or state governments build public bomb shelters, she considered the idea “nonsense.” Covering a wide variety of topics—everything from war, peace, and politics to love, marriage, religion, and popular culture—these columns reveal Eleanor Roosevelt’s warmth, humanity, and timeless relevance.
In 1941, Eleanor Roosevelt embarked on a new career as an advice columnist. She had already transformed the role of first lady with her regular press conferences, her activism on behalf of women, minorities, and youth, her lecture tours, and her syndicated newspaper column. When Ladies Home Journal offered her an advice column, she embraced it as yet another way for her to connect with the public. “If You Ask Me” quickly became a lifeline for Americans of all ages.
Over the twenty years that Eleanor wrote her advice column, no question was too trivial and no topic was out of bounds. Practical, warm-hearted, and often witty, Eleanor’s answers were so forthright her editors included a disclaimer that her views were not necessarily those of the magazines or the Roosevelt administration. Asked, for example, if she had any Republican friends, she replied, “I hope so.” Queried about whether or when she would retire, she said, “I never plan ahead.” As for the suggestion that federal or state governments build public bomb shelters, she considered the idea “nonsense.” Covering a wide variety of topics—everything from war, peace, and politics to love, marriage, religion, and popular culture—these columns reveal Eleanor Roosevelt’s warmth, humanity, and timeless relevance.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1946
75 people are currently reading
1105 people want to read
About the author
Eleanor Roosevelt
140 books1,681 followersAnna Eleanor Roosevelt was an American political leader who used her influence as an active First Lady from 1933 to 1945 to promote the New Deal policies of her husband, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, as well as taking a prominent role as an advocate for civil rights. After her husband's death in 1945, she continued to be an internationally prominent author and speaker for the New Deal coalition. She was a suffragist who worked to enhance the status of working women, although she opposed the Equal Rights Amendment because she believed it would adversely affect women. In the 1940s, she was one of the co-founders of Freedom House and supported the formation of the United Nations. Eleanor Roosevelt founded the UN Association of the United States in 1943 to advance support for the formation of the UN. She was a delegate to the UN General Assembly from 1945 and 1952, a job for which she was appointed by President Harry S. Truman and confirmed by the United States Congress. During her time at the United Nations chaired the committee that drafted and approved the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. President Truman called her the "First Lady of the World" in tribute to her human rights achievements.
She was one of the most admired persons of the 20th century, according to Gallup's List of Widely Admired People.
She was one of the most admired persons of the 20th century, according to Gallup's List of Widely Admired People.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 98 reviews
June 25, 2018
"It is always wise, I think, if you feel something is wrong, to try and stand up for what you believe is right." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Wife, Mother, First Lady, feminist icon, diplomat, teacher, and advice columnist! Eleanor Roosevelt wrote a column called "My Day" and held weekly White House press conferences. gave lectures, had a radio program, advocated for civil rights, advocated for women's rights, and made personal appearances. She was not a fan of sitting down and felt if you can do things - then you should. Eleanor Roosevelt asked her fellow Americans to write to her and they did! By the end of 1940, she received approximately 130,000 letters per year. In May 1941, she began writing a column titled "If you Ask Me" which was published in the Ladies Home Journal and then in McCalls. Her column consisted of her answering questions that the readers posed to her with the topics ranging from relationships, civil rights, divorce, motherhood, schooling, equal pay, health care and education among other topics. She gave straightforward and at times witty responses.
"If we cannot meet the challenge of fairness to our citizens of every nationality...then we shall have removed from the world, the one real hope for the future on which all humanity must now rely."
Eleanor Roosevelt was a little bit of a trail blazer for advocating for civil rights even resigning from the Daughters of the American Revolution in 1939 after the group refused to allow an African-American singer to perform in their facility. She even served as the chair of the U.N. Human Rights Commission in 1946 and helped draft what would go on to be known as the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
This book not only contains questions and answers from her advice column but is also a history lesson. For instance, I did not know that her husband was the only president to have been elected to four terms in office. In 1951, the 22nd Amendment was passed limiting a president’s tenure in office to two terms. She answered the questions based upon her own personal beliefs and experiences. Most of the advice she gave is pretty much common sense. Also, most of her advice is still relevant today. There were some questions and answers that felt dated and one which I felt showed the lack of knowledge about mental health issues during that time. Case in point, a female wrote in detailing her crippling anxiety in social situations, describing her symptoms, and complete discomfort being around people - feeling self-conscious and the advice she is given is to stop thinking about herself and to focus on other people and try to be natural and helpful. Eleanor Roosevelt was attempting to give advice on how to not feel self-conscious in public but should have encouraged the girl to seek help for her anxiety.
This is a wonderful collection of her advice column and I am sure history buffs and Eleanor Roosevelt fans will love this book. She was an outspoken woman, who fought for what she believed, had a strong work ethic and positive outlook. She made herself accessible to the public and the public embraced her and her opinions. Her responses to questions were always respectful and she often shared her own experiences while answering questions.
Thank you to Atria Books and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest opinion. The thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
Read more of my reviews at www.openbookpost.com
Wife, Mother, First Lady, feminist icon, diplomat, teacher, and advice columnist! Eleanor Roosevelt wrote a column called "My Day" and held weekly White House press conferences. gave lectures, had a radio program, advocated for civil rights, advocated for women's rights, and made personal appearances. She was not a fan of sitting down and felt if you can do things - then you should. Eleanor Roosevelt asked her fellow Americans to write to her and they did! By the end of 1940, she received approximately 130,000 letters per year. In May 1941, she began writing a column titled "If you Ask Me" which was published in the Ladies Home Journal and then in McCalls. Her column consisted of her answering questions that the readers posed to her with the topics ranging from relationships, civil rights, divorce, motherhood, schooling, equal pay, health care and education among other topics. She gave straightforward and at times witty responses.
"If we cannot meet the challenge of fairness to our citizens of every nationality...then we shall have removed from the world, the one real hope for the future on which all humanity must now rely."
Eleanor Roosevelt was a little bit of a trail blazer for advocating for civil rights even resigning from the Daughters of the American Revolution in 1939 after the group refused to allow an African-American singer to perform in their facility. She even served as the chair of the U.N. Human Rights Commission in 1946 and helped draft what would go on to be known as the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
This book not only contains questions and answers from her advice column but is also a history lesson. For instance, I did not know that her husband was the only president to have been elected to four terms in office. In 1951, the 22nd Amendment was passed limiting a president’s tenure in office to two terms. She answered the questions based upon her own personal beliefs and experiences. Most of the advice she gave is pretty much common sense. Also, most of her advice is still relevant today. There were some questions and answers that felt dated and one which I felt showed the lack of knowledge about mental health issues during that time. Case in point, a female wrote in detailing her crippling anxiety in social situations, describing her symptoms, and complete discomfort being around people - feeling self-conscious and the advice she is given is to stop thinking about herself and to focus on other people and try to be natural and helpful. Eleanor Roosevelt was attempting to give advice on how to not feel self-conscious in public but should have encouraged the girl to seek help for her anxiety.
This is a wonderful collection of her advice column and I am sure history buffs and Eleanor Roosevelt fans will love this book. She was an outspoken woman, who fought for what she believed, had a strong work ethic and positive outlook. She made herself accessible to the public and the public embraced her and her opinions. Her responses to questions were always respectful and she often shared her own experiences while answering questions.
Thank you to Atria Books and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest opinion. The thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
Read more of my reviews at www.openbookpost.com
February 21, 2019
Some of Mrs. Roosevelt's opinions may sound quaint today, but this book is a good reminder why she was so important then and is still worth our attention now:
"It seems to me imperative [...] that we can no longer afford to waste our human material the way we are doing....Going to college should depend on ability and not on finances. The cost should be borne by all taxpayers as it is for public elementary and high schools." [February 1960]
"I think it right that [teachers] should be unionized, and if we pay so little attention to their interests that they are obliged to strike, it is the fault of the community and not of the teacher." [March 1962]
Asked if she'd ever been helped by Divine Guidance, ER offered this wonderful reply: "I am sorry to say that I have never been able to feel that I was important enough to receive any kind of special guidance....Most of us cannot feel that the decisions we have to make in everyday life are important enough to hope for a sense of special guidance." [June 1958]
A delightful read, this book assembles a fascinating selection of ER's advice column ("If You Ask Me") with contemporary commentary to introduce each section from the wonderful editor, Mary Jo Binker. My brother met the editor in the elevator of his building and when he learned about the book, he gave me a copy, knowing I'd enjoy the book as much as he did. Lucky me! Lucky you if you read it, too!
"It seems to me imperative [...] that we can no longer afford to waste our human material the way we are doing....Going to college should depend on ability and not on finances. The cost should be borne by all taxpayers as it is for public elementary and high schools." [February 1960]
"I think it right that [teachers] should be unionized, and if we pay so little attention to their interests that they are obliged to strike, it is the fault of the community and not of the teacher." [March 1962]
Asked if she'd ever been helped by Divine Guidance, ER offered this wonderful reply: "I am sorry to say that I have never been able to feel that I was important enough to receive any kind of special guidance....Most of us cannot feel that the decisions we have to make in everyday life are important enough to hope for a sense of special guidance." [June 1958]
A delightful read, this book assembles a fascinating selection of ER's advice column ("If You Ask Me") with contemporary commentary to introduce each section from the wonderful editor, Mary Jo Binker. My brother met the editor in the elevator of his building and when he learned about the book, he gave me a copy, knowing I'd enjoy the book as much as he did. Lucky me! Lucky you if you read it, too!
February 12, 2020
You should read this book if you like:
Eleanor Roosevelt (obviously 😆), First Ladies, people who are wise beyond their years, mid-1900s American history/society/culture, activism, fighting for human rights, sage advice that stands the test of time
Eleanor Roosevelt (obviously 😆), First Ladies, people who are wise beyond their years, mid-1900s American history/society/culture, activism, fighting for human rights, sage advice that stands the test of time
June 23, 2025
Wise advice that was given in the 1950-60s is still wise today. Interesting that readers questions and concerns of those times are similar to concerns now.
July 12, 2018
If You Ask Me is a powerful collection of articles written by Eleanor Roosevelt that provides us an insight into her life and her thoughts as a First Lady and a woman. My biggest takeaway from this book is that Eleanor was a thoughtful, kind, caring woman who's insight is relevant to today's society - and that shocked me (a bit). I really enjoyed reading this one and have a feeling I'll be going back to it often for solace and introspection.
January 5, 2019
“You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.”
For me, Eleanor Roosevelt is truly the greatest role model. She can do no wrong in my eyes, so my review is absolutely and unashamedly biased. That being said, I try not to keep very many books after I read them, but this is one that I intend to keep all my life.
Mrs. Roosevelt accepted questions from the public and answered them in her advice column “If You Ask Me” from 1941-1962. This book is a collection of the advice she gave on several topics including women and gender, race, politics, marriage, religion, popular culture, education, war, and aging.
Much of her advice is common sense. She has a straightforward way of answering these inquiries, even if that involves calling the question itself idiotic. She doesn’t shy away from stating if she feels that she can’t answer a question adequately without all the facts, but she still tries to take a general approach.
Over 50 years after the end of her column’s publication, many of the struggles America faced then are the same struggles we face now. I hope this isn’t the case in the next 50 years, but I know that I will find some comfort and direction in Mrs. Roosevelt’s words nevertheless.
See more of my reviews: Blog // Instagram
For me, Eleanor Roosevelt is truly the greatest role model. She can do no wrong in my eyes, so my review is absolutely and unashamedly biased. That being said, I try not to keep very many books after I read them, but this is one that I intend to keep all my life.
Mrs. Roosevelt accepted questions from the public and answered them in her advice column “If You Ask Me” from 1941-1962. This book is a collection of the advice she gave on several topics including women and gender, race, politics, marriage, religion, popular culture, education, war, and aging.
Much of her advice is common sense. She has a straightforward way of answering these inquiries, even if that involves calling the question itself idiotic. She doesn’t shy away from stating if she feels that she can’t answer a question adequately without all the facts, but she still tries to take a general approach.
Over 50 years after the end of her column’s publication, many of the struggles America faced then are the same struggles we face now. I hope this isn’t the case in the next 50 years, but I know that I will find some comfort and direction in Mrs. Roosevelt’s words nevertheless.
See more of my reviews: Blog // Instagram
January 12, 2022
I really liked this audiobook read in part by Cassandra Campbell. Eleanor Roosevelt was definitely ahead of her time. It was a lesson in history and now I plan to listen to her autobiography! I forgot that she was the US delegate to the UN for 6 years and was part of writing the human bill of rights
April 2, 2022
We could use someone like her now. Much of her advise is relevant today.
June 21, 2023
There is a reason she is commonly rated #1 on the First Lady lists. Her advice and thoughts are relevant today. Really nice, quick read.
February 16, 2019
GNAB Twenty years of advice columns honed down to the best of the best - this history is Eleanor Roosevelt in all her sage wisdom. This is a book to keep by the side of the bed when questions keep your mind spinning. Eleanor has all the answers.
Pub date Oct 9, 2018
Atria Books
Pub date Oct 9, 2018
Atria Books
October 22, 2018
"For her (Eleanor Roosevelt) , democracy was a "way of life" based on "belief in the value of each individual" and a democratic society was one in which everyone had access jobs, adequate housing , health care, and education"
" The problem is not to learn tolerance of your neighbors, but to see that all alike have hope and opportunity" she wrote in 1945.
"when American people become apathetic and do not keep control of their government in their own hands, it is bound to slip into the hands of those who make politics a profession.Therefore, because of their indifference, the American people may sometimes find themselves slaves of representatives who do no not really represent them." (June 1946)
Although Eleanor Roosevelt wrote regularly in magazines from 1930 to 1962, much of her advice has proven to be timeless.Many times her answers were so candid the the editors of Ladies Home Journal and McCall Magazine included a disclaimer that her views were not necessarily those of the magazines. It was amazing to see that over 40 years later , we are still facing many of the same issues: intolerance, racism, women's rights, apathy in the citizenry and urging people to vote and volunteer to keep democracy working.
" The problem is not to learn tolerance of your neighbors, but to see that all alike have hope and opportunity" she wrote in 1945.
"when American people become apathetic and do not keep control of their government in their own hands, it is bound to slip into the hands of those who make politics a profession.Therefore, because of their indifference, the American people may sometimes find themselves slaves of representatives who do no not really represent them." (June 1946)
Although Eleanor Roosevelt wrote regularly in magazines from 1930 to 1962, much of her advice has proven to be timeless.Many times her answers were so candid the the editors of Ladies Home Journal and McCall Magazine included a disclaimer that her views were not necessarily those of the magazines. It was amazing to see that over 40 years later , we are still facing many of the same issues: intolerance, racism, women's rights, apathy in the citizenry and urging people to vote and volunteer to keep democracy working.
November 6, 2018
Have you ever found yourself in a situation and wondered "what would Eleanor Roosevelt do?" (No? Just me?) Her concise, considerate answers to many of the hundreds of questions posed to her "If You Ask Me" magazine column from 1941 through 1962 have been compiled into this lovely little book. They cover everything from etiquette to world peace, from her time as First Lady to her time at the United Nations, and remind you why she was (is) such a beloved American icon: her unwavering kindness, logic, fairness, justice and hope.
Her answer to the question "What is your greatest fear?" is my particular favorite, especially in light of our current political climate:
My greatest fear has always been that I would be afraid - afraid physically or mentally or morally - and allow myself to be influenced by fear instead of by my honest convictions.
Side note: This book is also a fascinating peek back into history, at the concerns and worries people had about things that were of-the-time (war bonds, rock and roll, communism) and about things that are apparently timeless (crazy teenagers, discrimination, war).
*Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC, provided by the author and/or the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Her answer to the question "What is your greatest fear?" is my particular favorite, especially in light of our current political climate:
My greatest fear has always been that I would be afraid - afraid physically or mentally or morally - and allow myself to be influenced by fear instead of by my honest convictions.
Side note: This book is also a fascinating peek back into history, at the concerns and worries people had about things that were of-the-time (war bonds, rock and roll, communism) and about things that are apparently timeless (crazy teenagers, discrimination, war).
*Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC, provided by the author and/or the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
November 5, 2020
I found If You Ask Me to be a great novel that highlights some of Eleanor Roosevelt's best advice. I enjoyed having her advice broken down into different topics that ranged from marriage, to politics, to religion. Mary Jo Binker, who edited this edition, did a fantastic job of showing the reader how Mrs. Roosevelt's advice can be relevant today just as it was during her lifetime.
If You Ask Me made me even more fascinated with my favorite First Lady and made me wonder how she would view our world as it is today.
If You Ask Me made me even more fascinated with my favorite First Lady and made me wonder how she would view our world as it is today.
March 10, 2024
Such a remarkable woman! I was in love with her from the letter from her granddaughter that opened this audiobook to the introduction listing her amazing accomplishments. I could have listened to it all day. I don’t know if I was astonished or heartbroken to hear the answers she gave to questions asked of her in the 40s, 50s and 60s because they were as though they were asked today. It seemed sadly that in too many ways we aren’t advancing, evolving or improving in our thinking and actions in everything dealing with race, politics, economics, etc.
December 4, 2025
I did this as a read-aloud with my sister, and it was so fun and interesting! Many of the questions felt very relevant for today, though they might have been answered in the 40's or 70s, etc. There were cultural explanations for certain questions, which was helpful, and all the questions were separated into 10 categories. You should really give a read, it was really fun!
January 17, 2020
A fascinating glimpse into a time so like our own, yet quite different. I have a much increased respect for and awareness of Mrs. Roosevelt.
July 23, 2018
If You Ask Me is a collection of advice articles Eleanor Roosevelt wrote over a period of twenty years. Interesting for a number of reasons: human problems and questions are remarkably similar regardless of the era; Mrs. Roosevelt took each question seriously and responded with insight and kindness no matter the topic; common sense and civility are in each response.
"Covering a wide variety of topics—everything from war, peace, and politics to love, marriage, religion, and popular culture—these columns reveal Eleanor Roosevelt’s warmth, humanity, and timeless relevance."
NetGalley/Atria Book
History/Advice. Oct. 9, 2018. Print length: 272 pages.
"Covering a wide variety of topics—everything from war, peace, and politics to love, marriage, religion, and popular culture—these columns reveal Eleanor Roosevelt’s warmth, humanity, and timeless relevance."
NetGalley/Atria Book
History/Advice. Oct. 9, 2018. Print length: 272 pages.
November 5, 2024
“It is not only important but mentally invigorating to discuss political matters with people whose opinions differ radically from one’s own.”
Eleanor Roosevelt wrote that many years ago. I can’t even imagine what she would think of the political discourse today. For this Election Day and Nonfiction November, might I suggest reading through the responses Mrs. Roosevelt wrote to people in her advice column. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, a lot can be learned from this classy lady who is a great example of how to converse with everyone.
Read if you like:
Advice columns
Kind political discourse
A peek into life in the 1940’s and 50’s
Thank you Atria Books for the gifted copy.
Eleanor Roosevelt wrote that many years ago. I can’t even imagine what she would think of the political discourse today. For this Election Day and Nonfiction November, might I suggest reading through the responses Mrs. Roosevelt wrote to people in her advice column. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, a lot can be learned from this classy lady who is a great example of how to converse with everyone.
Read if you like:
Advice columns
Kind political discourse
A peek into life in the 1940’s and 50’s
Thank you Atria Books for the gifted copy.
May 2, 2019
Journalist, diplomat, politician, activist, and teacher – Eleanor Roosevelt was one of the most amazing women of our time. She has always been a person I held great admiration and reading “If you ask me” opened a unique insight and perspective on Eleanor as a woman deeply committed to the “grand experiment” of democracy. Eleanor believed –
“democracy was ‘A way of life’ based on ‘belief in the value of each individual’ and a democratic society was one in which everyone has access to jobs, adequate housing, health care, and education.”
Through her sensitive, insightful and forthright answers to her advice column “If you ask me” Eleanor Roosevelt demonstrated those values she most espoused –
Dialogue, civility, inclusiveness, cooperation, and a healthy curiosity. To her “the greatest courtesy” was the “warmth of friendliness” based on “sincere goodwill.”
As I read her comments throughout the book, spanning several decades, I did not always agree, but of course, her answers reflect the values of an era. Nevertheless, threaded throughout no matter what decade, would be Eleanor’s deeply profound honesty offered with the utmost respect, compassion, and kindness. Just an extraordinary person.
“democracy was ‘A way of life’ based on ‘belief in the value of each individual’ and a democratic society was one in which everyone has access to jobs, adequate housing, health care, and education.”
Through her sensitive, insightful and forthright answers to her advice column “If you ask me” Eleanor Roosevelt demonstrated those values she most espoused –
Dialogue, civility, inclusiveness, cooperation, and a healthy curiosity. To her “the greatest courtesy” was the “warmth of friendliness” based on “sincere goodwill.”
As I read her comments throughout the book, spanning several decades, I did not always agree, but of course, her answers reflect the values of an era. Nevertheless, threaded throughout no matter what decade, would be Eleanor’s deeply profound honesty offered with the utmost respect, compassion, and kindness. Just an extraordinary person.
January 29, 2020
I felt like there were a lot of similar questions that made the book feel a bit repetitive. Also, a fair number of questions included were questions that would be impossible for anyone to give a definitive answer to (very opinion based), so those questions also seemed rather pointless- essentially, Mrs. Roosevelt just had to reply that she couldn't really be the person to answer that particular question.
There were some really good questions and answers that showcased this particular period of history and what people were going through. However, I didn't feel that there were enough to justify recommending this book to anyone unless they happened to have a keen interest in Eleanor Roosevelt.
There were some really good questions and answers that showcased this particular period of history and what people were going through. However, I didn't feel that there were enough to justify recommending this book to anyone unless they happened to have a keen interest in Eleanor Roosevelt.
October 14, 2021
Though Eleanor Roosevelt certainly had some very progressive opinions for the time, the author seemed to be overly praising and uncritical of everything Eleanor Roosevelt said. Would have appreciated more rounded commentary.
June 4, 2020
I was browsing in the library before it closed and picked up this book. I had a wonderful friend who, when she was 90, told me she was driving in Manhattan one day and saw Eleanor Roosevelt and a man in a suit waiting on a street corner and the man looked upset. Gerry stopped, rolled down the window, and asked him what was wrong. He told her the First Lady had a speaking engagement and her ride was not arriving. Gerry told him she would be happy to take her. So Eleanor got in her front seat and Gerry drove her to her engagement. Gerry told me Eleanor was so impressive, and ever since then I have wanted to learn more about her. During the depression Eleanor had an advice column and most of these excerpts are from the 40’s. She was so forward thinking and her advice is still prevalent. One woman writes that she is getting an advanced degree and people have told her it will be difficult to get a husband. Eleanor thinks that is ridiculous and that a woman should get as much education as possible. Another woman says her husband recently died and she is so lonely she wants to start dating again, but what will people think? Eleanor tells her life is for the living and she should start dating and ignore what people say. Another asks if it is possible for 2 women, a daughter in law and mother in law, to live together in peace and harmony. Eleanor says it is possible but highly improbable. I would like to read Eleanor’s first autobiography next.
October 29, 2025
From the 1940s through the 1960s, Eleanor Roosevelt had multiple magazine columns in which readers could write in with questions. This is a compilation of those questions and answers, on topics ranging from politics to personal advice.
The main issue with this is that Roosevelt is the exact opposite of what you want in an advice columnist. A great advice columnist is someone like early Dan Savage: doling out the concrete, counterintuitive, and controversial, unafraid of ruffling feathers or just giving terrible advice from time to time. Maybe unsurprisingly for a former First Lady, Roosevelt takes a different tack. She comes across as a likable and reasonable grandmother. But way too many of her responses are like "I don't know, it seems like you should consider all the factors and have a conversation."
There are some amusing questions and answers. I found her decidedly non-modern viewpoint about children interesting--that married couples are morally obligated to have them, though birth control to keep the number from being excessive is reasonable. She answers a question about rock-and-roll by admitting to limited knowledge but declaring it surely a passing fad. Also, the mayor of NYC wrote into her column to ask how NYC could best prepare for an atomic bomb. (She reasonably responds that she's not really an expert and maybe he should consult some.)
The main issue with this is that Roosevelt is the exact opposite of what you want in an advice columnist. A great advice columnist is someone like early Dan Savage: doling out the concrete, counterintuitive, and controversial, unafraid of ruffling feathers or just giving terrible advice from time to time. Maybe unsurprisingly for a former First Lady, Roosevelt takes a different tack. She comes across as a likable and reasonable grandmother. But way too many of her responses are like "I don't know, it seems like you should consider all the factors and have a conversation."
There are some amusing questions and answers. I found her decidedly non-modern viewpoint about children interesting--that married couples are morally obligated to have them, though birth control to keep the number from being excessive is reasonable. She answers a question about rock-and-roll by admitting to limited knowledge but declaring it surely a passing fad. Also, the mayor of NYC wrote into her column to ask how NYC could best prepare for an atomic bomb. (She reasonably responds that she's not really an expert and maybe he should consult some.)
March 21, 2019
Eleanor Roosevelt was a popular woman in her time as was her column "If You Ask Me." She received a variety of questions from children as young as 8 to the elderly asking her advice, personal questions, and her opinions.
The editor provided additional information in this edition of the book for historical reference as nowadays many would not have been alive while Eleanor Roosevelt was writing this column. The context is helpful and provides a setting for the questions which have been grouped in various subjects. Eleanor answers the questions with a thoughtfulness and compassion that makes it understandable why many continued to write to her. She also wrote with honesty, which some readers may not have appreciated. Especially when they were the ones who had written in and she had told them to keep their noses out of other people's business. The book made it seem like a conversation was being had with Eleanor Roosevelt and parts of the inner workings of her mind were being revealed. There were thoughts/beliefs that were/are old fashioned in nature both then and now, but much of what she said has relevance today.
An interesting read and thoughtful adventure with one of America's most well-known first ladies.
The editor provided additional information in this edition of the book for historical reference as nowadays many would not have been alive while Eleanor Roosevelt was writing this column. The context is helpful and provides a setting for the questions which have been grouped in various subjects. Eleanor answers the questions with a thoughtfulness and compassion that makes it understandable why many continued to write to her. She also wrote with honesty, which some readers may not have appreciated. Especially when they were the ones who had written in and she had told them to keep their noses out of other people's business. The book made it seem like a conversation was being had with Eleanor Roosevelt and parts of the inner workings of her mind were being revealed. There were thoughts/beliefs that were/are old fashioned in nature both then and now, but much of what she said has relevance today.
An interesting read and thoughtful adventure with one of America's most well-known first ladies.
February 21, 2019
I fell in love with the practicality, humility, and humor with which Eleanor Roosevelt answered advice column questions. Over a period of 20+ years Roosevelt invited fans, detractors, citizens, and members of the global community to ask any questions they would like to ask her. She answered with candor and care for the people who wrote. She was direct and did not change answers to suite the whims of the writers. But this particular edition of her answers does show that her opinions and positions changed over time dependent on things she learned or people she was exposed to along the way.
My favorite passage by far was her response to the question "Would you mind giving me your definition of a mature person?" Roosevelt's response:
"A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even
when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people
and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life,
knowing that in this world no one is all-knowing and therefore all of us need both love and
charity."
My favorite passage by far was her response to the question "Would you mind giving me your definition of a mature person?" Roosevelt's response:
"A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even
when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people
and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life,
knowing that in this world no one is all-knowing and therefore all of us need both love and
charity."
July 7, 2018
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt.
Eleanor Roosevelt was a prolific writer and possibly the most accessible First Lady in our history. While we the people can write to our first ladies, and their office will often send a reply, Eleanor Roosevelt asked people to write her. This eventually turned into an advice column published in magazines. She received letters from all manner of people; men, women, young and old. She was asked about foreign affairs, how to raise kids, and even about "necking". If You Ask Me is a compilation of many of these questions. It is a look into the thoughts of a woman who was intelligent and thoughtful. It also give us a glimpse into our past and how some things have changed while many have stayed the same.
It isn't a book with a plot furthering the story, but an organized collection of questions and answers. This allows you to really get to know who Eleanor Roosevelt was as a person, not just a First Lady from our past.
Eleanor Roosevelt was a prolific writer and possibly the most accessible First Lady in our history. While we the people can write to our first ladies, and their office will often send a reply, Eleanor Roosevelt asked people to write her. This eventually turned into an advice column published in magazines. She received letters from all manner of people; men, women, young and old. She was asked about foreign affairs, how to raise kids, and even about "necking". If You Ask Me is a compilation of many of these questions. It is a look into the thoughts of a woman who was intelligent and thoughtful. It also give us a glimpse into our past and how some things have changed while many have stayed the same.
It isn't a book with a plot furthering the story, but an organized collection of questions and answers. This allows you to really get to know who Eleanor Roosevelt was as a person, not just a First Lady from our past.
March 2, 2019
I have long admired Eleanor Roosevelt and her work. She was a tireless champion for the less-fortunate, for women, minorities and those who did not have a voice of their own. She was such a strong, intelligent, compassionate woman, and that shines through here in “If You Ask Me”. At a time when a woman was expected to smile, support her husband and stay quiet, Eleanor was a gift of honesty, hope and courage. She defied many norms, and led the way for women throughout the world. Many people who know her name may only know her as a First Lady, but she was so much more. And after her husband’s death she continued to be a force in the world for change. This book helps you to learn a little more about the woman behind the name. And it seems these days, more than ever, we need to be reminded of the goodness of people. Eleanor had goodness in spades. She may have been born to privilege, but she was down to earth and wonderfully, warmly human. This book is a great example of the lovely woman she was.
Note: I received a copy of this book in return for an honest review.
Note: I received a copy of this book in return for an honest review.
February 12, 2020
Eleanor's columns were sweet, concise, and insightful. I almost felt like there read like her Tweets from the 1940s. Given the short length of the individual pieces, however, I felt like the medium didn't lend itself to a more sophisticated discussion of the topics. The types of questions being asked were very telling of the times though, and Eleanor's answers were on point. She handled some heavy questions with poise and lightheartedness. She pushed me to come up with my own answers too. Because people ask the same questions today.
My favorite quote from the book:
"Q: What do you consider a successful life for a man or woman?
Eleanor: A successful life for a man or woman lies in the knowledge that one has developed to the limit the capacities with which one was endowed, that one has contributed something constructive to family and friends and to a home community; that one has brought happiness wherever it was possible; that one has earned one's way in the world; has kept some friends and need not be ashamed to face oneself honestly. November 1941."
My favorite quote from the book:
"Q: What do you consider a successful life for a man or woman?
Eleanor: A successful life for a man or woman lies in the knowledge that one has developed to the limit the capacities with which one was endowed, that one has contributed something constructive to family and friends and to a home community; that one has brought happiness wherever it was possible; that one has earned one's way in the world; has kept some friends and need not be ashamed to face oneself honestly. November 1941."
December 8, 2024
This is interesting and I feel like some things she thought are even progressive by today's standards. But also times are so different. It's nice to see some of her common sense answers were also considered strange at different points. She seems to be an expert on the politics and PR of the day. She is well spoken and really good at going around the question and saying vague. The atheism and the talk about linking patriotism to religion specifically Christian is really strange. I know every one puts the Roosevelt family on a pedestal but this really shows the conditions of what and why we did as a country. She seemed dodgy on her questions that were more divisive. Honestly the content was interesting and helpful in realizing how much they shaped America. Like the reason we have subsidies started here. She was an OG propaganda and PR girlie.
"There is value in showing publicly where one's allegiances lie."
"There is value in showing publicly where one's allegiances lie."
November 24, 2024
I used to be really into these types of books when I was a tween. No kidding. Also, my grandmother loved Doctor Zhivago. She spoke of it regularly and also had the family watch it once or twice. Let me check... OK, I have a 5-star, so I must have loved it too.
My review says it had a terrible ending and promised more later, but I never delivered. However, I did give it the highest rating so that's a good sign...?
But this is about the edited advice column of Eleanor Roosevelt, not that!! I found it fascinating that Eleanor Roosevelt had firsthand contact with Nikita Khrushchev, a leader whom I have only heard stories about in a hard-to-parse accent in the classroom though.
I had previously read a lot of Dear Abby stories - I think they were in the newspaper - so this book had reminded me of that.
My review says it had a terrible ending and promised more later, but I never delivered. However, I did give it the highest rating so that's a good sign...?
But this is about the edited advice column of Eleanor Roosevelt, not that!! I found it fascinating that Eleanor Roosevelt had firsthand contact with Nikita Khrushchev, a leader whom I have only heard stories about in a hard-to-parse accent in the classroom though.
I had previously read a lot of Dear Abby stories - I think they were in the newspaper - so this book had reminded me of that.
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